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Now remember, when Alex gets
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here, act like you just,
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you know, happened to stop by.
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You know, happened to stop by.
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Okay. Okay, yeah.
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Now come on, Mr. Reed.
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Now in the middle of
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the afternoon, Julius and I,
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two wildly successful
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two wildly successful
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professionals, we just happen
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to be free?
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[Laughs] Excuse me,
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you mean three professionals.
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You mean three professionals.
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I'm wildly successful, too.
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No, you just wild.
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Can everybody stay focused on
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Can everybody stay focused on
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supporting my son?
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Right. Yes, yes, yes.
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I mean he may look fine, but
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dealing with Carla being in
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L.A. has to be tough on him.
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Of course it is.
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Of course it is.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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I just hope she comes back
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before she gets hooked on...
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The reefer.
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Miss Helen, you've spent ten
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hours a day with her.
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Simone: Mm-hmm.
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Oh, now give us somethin'.
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Oh, now give us somethin'.
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Listen, I know exactly what
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you know.
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She went to the conference
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and ended up getting offered
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a job she couldn't pass up.
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And she took the job and
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pawned the kids off on Alex.
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But I can't blame her though.
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But I can't blame her though.
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If I had three kids, I would run
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away too.
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Aren't you a pediatrician?
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Aren't you a pediatrician?
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What's her point?
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Well, at least she didn't
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leave you alone with this
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new therapist--this
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Dr. Bruce Miller.
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Dr. Bruce Miller.
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He actually thinks I'm supposed
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to go and fetch his dry
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cleanin'.
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Cleanin'.
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Oh, hey son.
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Simone: Oh, hey!
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[Mixed overlapping greetings]
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[Mixed overlapping greetings]
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How, how long you been home?
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Long enough to hear that
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people who supposedly care about
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me, pick over my life like
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buzzards on fresh road kill.
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Thank you...Dad...
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Thank you...Dad...
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Well, uh...
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Best friends.
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Hm.
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Hm.
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My wife's ex-receptionist.
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Mmm.
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Anybody else wanna weigh
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Anybody else wanna weigh
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in on something they know
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absolutely nothing about?
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I'd--I'd like to say
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something, bro.
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Something, bro.
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Oh, go ahead, Julius.
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The way you sneak in here,
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listenin' to people's private
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conversations...
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Sneak?
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That's just rude, man.
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No wonder why Carla left you.
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She did not leave me.
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She did not leave me.
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She did not leave me.
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[Laughing]
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All: She left him.
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♪ good thing we've got ♪
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♪ one another ♪
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♪ read between the lines ♪
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♪ read between the lines ♪
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♪ stuck between a rock ♪
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♪ and a hard place ♪
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♪ could be a hard place to be ♪
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♪ if I didn't have ♪
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♪ my village holdin' me ♪
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♪ my village holdin' me ♪
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♪ my father, son ♪
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♪ two daughters ♪
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♪ and two best friends ♪
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♪ surroundin' me with ♪
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♪ the strength of 10,000 men ♪
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♪ ha-ha, yeah, I got this ♪♪
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♪ ha-ha, yeah, I got this ♪♪
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[Laughing]
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And why are you all sitting
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And why are you all sitting
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in my living room like you're at
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a wake, anyway?
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I...I was missing your pop's
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catfish.
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Catfish.
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Yeah, right.
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My pop's catfish isn't that
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good.
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Whoa, wait a minute, son.
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Now don't start talkin'
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now don't start talkin'
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wife left ya.
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She did not leave me.
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Look, Carla called, asked me
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Look, Carla called, asked me
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to make sure you had a little
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extra support so I called them.
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No.
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Carla called you?
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Carla called you?
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Mm-hmm.
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She's been gone a couple of
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months and she thinks I can't
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handle this.
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But I'm sure she didn't expect
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you to call my immature,
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you to call my immature,
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stuck in middle school,
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best friends.
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Simone: Hold on now--
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Simone: Hold on now--
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Her words, not mine.
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Look guys, I'm only gonna say
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this one time.
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This one time.
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Carla and I love each other,
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we love our kids, our marriage
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a-a-and a question for you.
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A-A-And a question for you.
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Who are you to judge my
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marriage?
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You and your wife don't even
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live together?
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Yeah, but we're not in denial
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about it.
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Simone: Mm-hmm.
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Simone: Mm-hmm.
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Alex, I am here for you.
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I am right by your side,
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but not right now.
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But not right now.
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I've got to get back to
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the office.
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Can you believe this fool only
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It's good to see you, Helen.
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Good to see you, too.
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Good to see you, too.
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Walk to her car alone.
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Probably why Carla left you.
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Probably why Carla left you.
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Would you quit sayin' that?
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[Cell phone rings]
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[Cell phone rings]
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Alex Reed.
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Really?
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I see.
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Ah, okay thank you.
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Ah, okay thank you.
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I'll, I'll be there shortly.
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All right, thanks a lot. Bye.
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All right?
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All right?
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Is he making catfish tonight?
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I don't think so.
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But I appreciate the support.
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I will see you soon. Okay?
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All right. See you later.
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Hey, dad.
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Hey, guys, I gotta go.
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I'll be back in time for dinner,
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all right?
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Do your homework.
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Bye.
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Bye.
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You said that dad would freak
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about my skirt, and he didn't
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even notice.
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Even notice.
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Okay, but my friends did.
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All right.
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Somebody's gonna ask me,
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somebody's gonna ask me,
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"how much for your sister?"
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Liar.
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Come on, nobody asked you that.
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Come on, nobody asked you that.
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I've made myself clear.
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I'm done, kaci.
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Done.
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Done.
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The St. Clair school has
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spent over 100 years shaping
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the hearts and minds of
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the hearts and minds of
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tomorrow's leaders.
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Both: Your point being?
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Your daughter's
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unshaped-able.
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[Laughing]
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[Laughing]
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I'm sure she isn't.
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Look, we both know this is
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only the second school Alexis
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has attended that isn't in
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has attended that isn't in
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the family kitchen.
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Excuse me, I shaped my
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daughter to be a critical
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thinker.
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Her last teacher--
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Ah, didn't want an eight year
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Ah, didn't want an eight year
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old bringing in, um,
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self-prepared study guides and
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demanding her classmates burn
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the old ones.
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The old ones.
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I did not.
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Burning things is bad for
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the environment.
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I suggested composting.
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I suggested composting.
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Her big sister is
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an environmentalist.
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Perhaps you should ease her
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into the school system more
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into the school system more
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gradually.
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Or find a school worthy of
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her intellectual capacity.
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I hear mit is starting a baby
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I hear mit is starting a baby
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genius program.
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Both: Already applied.
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On the waiting list.
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On the waiting list.
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Good afternoon, class.
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My daughter is going to be
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joining us today.
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She's in the process of
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transferring to a more
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academically challenging
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institution, and she wanted to
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watch her father at work.
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I got kicked out of school.
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I got kicked out of school.
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Why don't you sit in the
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chair back there, sweetheart.
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Congratulations, class.
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Congratulations, class.
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You have survived the first four
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weeks of my rigorous look at
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Shakespeare's tragedies.
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And on the last day to drop
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and on the last day to drop
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a class, you are still here.
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Wait. Today is the last day?
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Yes, it is.
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Yes, it is.
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I forgot to feed my meter.
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Excellent.
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Excellent.
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That means only we smart ones
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remain.
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Now does anyone have any
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questions before we delve into
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questions before we delve into
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00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,166
the treachery, revenge,
293
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,709
and moral corruption that
294
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,003
is "Hamlet, prince of Denmark"?
295
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,420
Is "Hamlet, prince of Denmark"?
296
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,304
Alexis Reed.
297
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:23,999
When's mommy coming home?
298
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:24,130
When's mommy coming home?
299
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,507
Ah, very soon, sweetheart,
300
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,763
very soon.
301
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,845
Good because this is boring.
302
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:30,001
Everybody knows Hamlet dies at
303
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:30,470
everybody knows Hamlet dies at
304
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,636
the end.
305
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:35,055
Students: Oh...
306
00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:39,476
Kaci: Keenan!
307
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:43,532
What's up?
308
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:47,031
Where are my clothes?
309
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:47,865
You don't remember where you
310
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:47,999
put your clothes?
311
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,490
Put your clothes?
312
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,366
Do we need to have you pee
313
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:52,952
in a cup?
314
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:53,997
That's funny, but let's just
315
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:54,410
That's funny, but let's just
316
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,577
wait until I go into your
317
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:56,865
bedroom and take your
318
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,418
"magazines."
319
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,001
Oh, yeah, I know.
320
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,460
Oh, yeah, I know.
321
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,377
You better stay out of
322
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:04,264
my room.
323
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,300
Then tell me where my clothes
324
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:05,883
are, or me and my friend lysol
325
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:05,997
will brave your funky room
326
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,340
will brave your funky room
327
00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:09,546
and find them.
328
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:10,507
You want your clothes?
329
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:11,386
Mm-hmm.
330
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:11,932
You're gonna have to go
331
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:12,524
dumpster diving.
332
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,928
Look, they weren't even mine.
333
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:15,847
Go get the stuff,
334
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:16,975
or I'm telling dad.
335
00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:18,001
You're telling dad?
336
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:18,520
You're telling dad?
337
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:24,004
Oh, please do.
338
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:24,150
Oh, please do.
339
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,735
I'm begging you. Hm...
340
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:27,741
Hm...
341
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,492
Hm...
342
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,833
Hey, morning Dean Caldwell.
343
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:36,003
Morning...Grade Nazi.
344
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,040
Morning...Grade Nazi.
345
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:39,915
Excuse me?
346
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,001
Well, that's what they call
347
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:41,995
you, you know?
348
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:42,300
You, you know?
349
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:43,088
Who calls me that?
350
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:43,421
Mm.
351
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,344
Don't you play coy with me,
352
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,513
professor pretty boy.
353
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:47,381
Your students are dropping
354
00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:47,676
like flies.
355
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:47,998
Yeah. I know.
356
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,100
Yeah. I know.
357
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,469
This isn't nyu, Reed.
358
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,505
Most of our funding comes from
359
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:53,998
the state.
360
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:54,560
The state.
361
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,890
No students equals no money.
362
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,265
Yeah, well Dean, you brought
363
00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:58,521
me here to increase the quality
364
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,003
of the English department.
365
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,100
Of the English department.
366
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,648
Yeah, but you left nyu to
367
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:02,571
teach closer to home, remember?
368
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,188
I've got three kids at home.
369
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:05,816
And I've got 5,000 of my own
370
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:06,002
right here.
371
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,740
Right here.
372
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:08,950
You got what you needed,
373
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,030
now give me what I need.
374
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:11,995
But Dean, I can't raise
375
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:12,280
But Dean, I can't raise
376
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:12,906
the standing of a department,
377
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,542
if I have to tolerate lazy
378
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,039
thinkers, disinterested
379
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,080
time-wasters,
380
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,003
and plain old dummies.
381
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,120
And plain old dummies.
382
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,577
Reed, butts in seats.
383
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:23,456
That's what I need.
384
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:24,004
Well, how do you suggest
385
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:24,050
Well, how do you suggest
386
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:26,418
I do that?
387
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:26,875
Well, I don't know,
388
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:27,554
professor.
389
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,512
But a department head that can't
390
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,001
figure that out shouldn't
391
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,590
figure that out shouldn't
392
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,756
be a department head.
393
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:35,505
[Guitar strumming]
394
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:35,998
♪ goodbye baby ♪
395
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,600
♪ goodbye baby ♪
396
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,273
♪ goodbye ♪
397
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,653
♪ oh goodbye ♪
398
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:41,999
♪ oh goodbye ♪
399
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,070
♪ oh goodbye ♪
400
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,029
Woo.
401
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:47,989
[Laughing] Man, when was
402
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,029
the last time the three of us
403
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:49,951
got together like this?
404
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:50,819
Wait, wait.
405
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:51,695
Without you checking your watch
406
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:52,621
every five minutes?
407
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:53,998
And texting home every two?
408
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:54,160
And texting home every two?
409
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:54,582
Had to be PC.
410
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,119
PC? Ah.
411
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,123
Both: Pre-Carla.
412
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,374
[Laughing]
413
00:08:59,455 --> 00:08:59,905
I told you not to marry
414
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:00,000
a mother with a deadbeat ex.
415
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,830
A mother with a deadbeat ex.
416
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,126
Got to give it to you, man.
417
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:03,669
Raising someone else's kids.
418
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:06,001
Julius, I'm raising my kids.
419
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:06,500
Julius, I'm raising my kids.
420
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:07,127
What time do the strippers
421
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,513
go on?
422
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:11,130
Helen.
423
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:11,997
Oh, hey.
424
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:12,800
Oh, hey.
425
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:13,835
I did not know you hung
426
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:14,718
out here.
427
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:15,684
Well, not usually,
428
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:16,813
but a couple of my peeps
429
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:17,999
invited me over.
430
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,270
Invited me over.
431
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,230
They don't look like they
432
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:20,729
would hang out with you.
433
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,440
And you don't look like
434
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,400
the kind of husband a wife
435
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:23,999
would come back to.
436
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:24,440
Would come back to.
437
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,402
Alex: Whoa.
438
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:26,191
Simone: Oh, now.
439
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,234
Take that back.
440
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,186
[Laughs]
441
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,996
Hey. Those are some of, those
442
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:30,400
Hey. Those are some of, those
443
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,696
are some of Carla's ex-patients.
444
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,319
We get together every Tuesday
445
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,616
and trash the new therapist.
446
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:35,999
[Laughs] Wait, oh, you know
447
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,490
[laughs] Wait, oh, you know
448
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:40,077
what I think I'm gonna do.
449
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:40,662
I'm gonna open up a tab under
450
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:41,996
your name.
451
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:42,750
Your name.
452
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,212
Consider it part of my severance
453
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,502
package.
454
00:09:45,584 --> 00:09:47,804
So Julius, what's new with
455
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:47,998
you, man?
456
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,050
You, man?
457
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,130
I'm building Rita her dream
458
00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:51,474
home.
459
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,129
Even though you're separated?
460
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:53,997
Because we're separated.
461
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:54,550
Because we're separated.
462
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:55,675
I got her with my money and I'll
463
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:56,681
get her back with my money.
464
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:57,562
Mm. Mm-mm.
465
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:58,558
I've never met a woman who
466
00:09:58,639 --> 00:09:59,019
can say no to a bidet.
467
00:09:59,098 --> 00:09:59,998
Right.
468
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,810
Right.
469
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:02,852
So, Simone?
470
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:03,845
What?
471
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:04,846
What's up with you?
472
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:05,647
Oh, I get it.
473
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,000
You want to know why I'm still
474
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:06,650
you want to know why I'm still
475
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:06,861
single.
476
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,399
No.
477
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:09,572
That's because I wanna
478
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,490
be, okay?
479
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:11,999
No, I am single by choice.
480
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,280
No, I am single by choice.
481
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:13,992
Plus her boyfriend
482
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,241
dropped her.
483
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:16,373
So anyway, how, how does
484
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,239
it feel to be back in
485
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:17,695
the classroom?
486
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:18,003
Oh, I got kids droppin'
487
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,330
Oh, I got kids droppin'
488
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,041
my class left and right.
489
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,581
And the Dean seems think all
490
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:24,004
the classrooms need to be full.
491
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,920
The classrooms need to be full.
492
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,040
Do you hear yourself?
493
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:27,956
What?
494
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:28,844
Alex, you're about to get
495
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:29,999
fired.
496
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,300
Fired.
497
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:30,839
You're runnin' off your
498
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:33,221
students, you ran off your wife.
499
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,179
You sure you don't need to
500
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:34,718
change your deodorant, bro?
501
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,000
[Laughing]
502
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,260
[Laughing]
503
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,997
Excuse me one second.
504
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:42,350
Excuse me one second.
505
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:42,733
Hey.
506
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,478
Hey, man, how are you doin'?
507
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,480
Hey.
508
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:46,441
Listen, um, I'm sure everyone
509
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:47,770
here has had a long day so would
510
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:47,995
you mind playin' somethin'
511
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:48,900
you mind playin' somethin'
512
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:49,651
a little more upbeat.
513
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,402
Got you, boss.
514
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,154
All right thank you, boss.
515
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:52,614
Appreciate it.
516
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,003
[Guitar strumming]
517
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,280
[Guitar strumming]
518
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:55,863
Simone: Oh, there you go!
519
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:56,566
You got it!
520
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,235
All right.
521
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,284
Woo!
522
00:10:59,367 --> 00:10:59,997
[Guitar strumming]
523
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:00,120
[Guitar strumming]
524
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:00,951
♪ I hate you ♪
525
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:01,865
♪ I hate you ♪
526
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:02,832
♪ I hate you ♪
527
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,042
♪ oh yeah ♪
528
00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:05,751
Oh.
529
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:06,001
You know we do have a guest
530
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:06,920
You know we do have a guest
531
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,379
room, grandpa.
532
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:08,919
Well, when guests come,
533
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,001
show 'em to it.
534
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:12,170
Show 'em to it.
535
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,974
I'm just spendin' the night.
536
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,999
I'm going to kill him.
537
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,720
I'm going to kill him.
538
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,604
Whoa.
539
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:22,680
Who's about to, ah,
540
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:23,995
bite the dust?
541
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:24,390
Bite the dust?
542
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:25,475
Your psycho grandson took
543
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,599
my stuff.
544
00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:28,686
What kinda stuff?
545
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:29,811
Stuff.
546
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:29,997
Just stuff, grandpa.
547
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:30,730
Just stuff, grandpa.
548
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,855
Girl stuff.
549
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,282
Girl stuff, huh?
550
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,001
Oh, now I'm really worried
551
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:36,280
oh, now I'm really worried
552
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,822
about the boy.
553
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,252
Well, that's better.
554
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:50,844
Look, your brother loves you.
555
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:51,628
If he didn't, he wouldn't care
556
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,630
about you runnin' around passin'
557
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:54,002
off a napkin as a skirt.
558
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,760
Off a napkin as a skirt.
559
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,720
Oh, I pay attention.
560
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,260
Okay.
561
00:11:59,343 --> 00:11:59,803
Look, grandpa, things are
562
00:11:59,885 --> 00:11:59,995
different now from when you
563
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,680
different now from when you
564
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,222
were growing up.
565
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:03,805
Okay, wearing all that wool on
566
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,999
wool on wool...
567
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:06,390
Wool on wool...
568
00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:07,435
Well, maybe that's why he's
569
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:08,348
trying to protect you--
570
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,146
because things are different
571
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,998
now, especially around here.
572
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:12,360
Now, especially around here.
573
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,569
I think he misses mom.
574
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:18,003
I mean maybe we shouldn't have
575
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:18,150
I mean maybe we shouldn't have
576
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,527
said we didn't want to move
577
00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:19,953
to L.A. with her.
578
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,030
It's just that our friends are
579
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,996
here and our life is here--
580
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:24,080
here and our life is here--
581
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,290
And it's the middle of
582
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:26,749
the school year.
583
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,249
That's why your parents decided
584
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,000
you kids should stay.
585
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,500
You kids should stay.
586
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,915
I...i...I'm very glad you did.
587
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:36,875
I would've missed you like
588
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,014
crazy.
589
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:38,760
Both: [Laugh]
590
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,051
Come here. Come here.
591
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:41,995
[Laughs]
592
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:42,640
[Laughs]
593
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,640
Hey, man, I missed you
594
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:44,601
in class.
595
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:45,470
You're the grade Nazi.
596
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,266
Oh, no, no, no, no.
597
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,268
That was the old me.
598
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:47,999
Guess what, the new me has cut
599
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:48,640
guess what, the new me has cut
600
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,096
half the required papers and
601
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,266
I've been keepin' your seat
602
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:52,193
empty.
603
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,061
Pretty sure I missed
604
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:53,897
the deadline to add a class.
605
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:54,001
No, no, no.
606
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:54,770
No, no, no.
607
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,647
Not if you have one of these.
608
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:57,784
This right here is a faculty
609
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,000
approval form signed by me.
610
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:00,240
Approval form signed by me.
611
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,111
Cookie?
612
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:01,777
I...
613
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:02,784
Uh...
614
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,655
Mmmmm...
615
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,002
Mmmm...
616
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:06,580
Mmmm...
617
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:07,540
Simone: I guess it's too late
618
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,500
to ask if we should wait for
619
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:09,539
Alex and the kids.
620
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,412
Hey, when I was a kid nobody
621
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:11,578
waited for me.
622
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:11,995
It was every man for himself.
623
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,080
It was every man for himself.
624
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,458
Operation kill them with
625
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,554
cookies was a resounding
626
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,339
success.
627
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:18,001
Hey!
628
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:18,460
Hey!
629
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:19,417
All right.
630
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,217
Thank you for the assist,
631
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,429
dad.
632
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,719
Mm.
633
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:24,001
Hey, Simone?
634
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:24,510
Hey, Simone?
635
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:25,345
Hm?
636
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:26,389
I gotta thank you.
637
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,932
You see now, I look forward to
638
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:29,055
the challenge that these kids
639
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,001
present.
640
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:30,230
Present.
641
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,849
See there I was saying Alexis'
642
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,306
school was failing her and I was
643
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:35,645
failing my own students.
644
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:36,001
Now you know we graduated
645
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:36,230
Now you know we graduated
646
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:36,765
high school the same year.
647
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:38,647
Mm.
648
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:39,654
And you're lookin' way
649
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:40,945
younger than me.
650
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:41,998
I know you use Botox.
651
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,370
I know you use Botox.
652
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:47,738
Bottom line is I believe
653
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:47,996
all students deserve a good
654
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:48,950
all students deserve a good
655
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,326
education and inspiration.
656
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:52,583
Am I right?
657
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,995
What is it? Cocoa butter?
658
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:54,750
What is it? Cocoa butter?
659
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:57,003
I know you have my charger.
660
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:57,836
No, I don't.
661
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:58,710
You can't just steal
662
00:13:58,796 --> 00:13:59,626
my stuff.
663
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:00,003
You stole my stuff.
664
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,260
You stole my stuff.
665
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,220
You were dressing like you
666
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:02,839
wanted to give your stuff away.
667
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,965
Oh, hey.
668
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:06,002
I thought we'd settled this.
669
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:06,760
I thought we'd settled this.
670
00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:07,965
Settled what?
671
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:08,885
I never said there wouldn't
672
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:09,933
be payback.
673
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,055
Payback, whoa.
674
00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:11,891
Relax, kaci corleone.
675
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:11,996
Now tell me what's goin' on.
676
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,890
Now tell me what's goin' on.
677
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:17,148
Both: Nothing.
678
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,001
Nothing?
679
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:18,940
Nothing?
680
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:19,944
All right, dad.
681
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:20,895
You're the adult here.
682
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:21,855
Somethin' you want to tell me?
683
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,654
I'm not your real father?
684
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:23,997
Okay. That was a disagreement.
685
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:24,780
Okay. That was a disagreement.
686
00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:26,743
I thought it was over.
687
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,494
Didn't seem worth bothering you.
688
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:29,366
Didn't seem worth
689
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:30,001
bothering me?
690
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:30,410
Bothering me?
691
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,334
Right.
692
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,503
Julius, Simone!
693
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,090
Ev...everybody, sit down.
694
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:41,134
Am I supposed to stop eatin'
695
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,003
for this?
696
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:42,010
For this?
697
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:46,139
Just sit down, man.
698
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,388
Now here's the deal.
699
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:47,999
I am the head of this household.
700
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:48,800
I am the head of this household.
701
00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:50,807
Why do I need to know this?
702
00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:52,139
Just because your mother is
703
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,434
temporarily on the west coast,
704
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:53,997
does not mean the rules have
705
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:54,350
does not mean the rules have
706
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:54,805
changed.
707
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:55,893
The parent in this household
708
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,558
is always in charge.
709
00:14:58,647 --> 00:14:59,997
And, dad, that means me.
710
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,820
And, dad, that means me.
711
00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:01,819
But isn't mommy coming
712
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,990
back soon?
713
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,373
[Sighs] You know,
714
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:10,950
sweet stuff, you and I need
715
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:11,995
to have a talk.
716
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:12,040
To have a talk.
717
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,459
Come on.
718
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,368
You all know, I'm the one
719
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:16,957
that's runnin' this, right?
720
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,001
Yeah, of course.
721
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:18,630
Yeah, of course.
722
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:18,999
Yeah, we know.
723
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,594
Baby, I don't know when your
724
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,300
mommy's coming back home.
725
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,000
Because she took that
726
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:24,380
Because she took that
727
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,335
job in L.A.?
728
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,545
Yup.
729
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:28,715
Because she took that job
730
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,002
in L.A. and I'm really sorry
731
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:30,640
in L.A. and I'm really sorry
732
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,771
I wasn't clear about that.
733
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:33,808
I've been clear for a while,
734
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:34,851
daddy.
735
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:35,353
When mommy came back from
736
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:36,004
the conference she packed
737
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,060
the conference she packed
738
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,064
her big suitcase.
739
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:38,935
I asked her how long she'd
740
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:39,811
be gone.
741
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,767
She said not long.
742
00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:41,997
When I asked you when she'd be
743
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:42,860
when I asked you when she'd be
744
00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:44,941
back, you said soon.
745
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,447
I'm not a baby.
746
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:47,998
Not long and soon always
747
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:48,200
not long and soon always
748
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,320
means it's longer than you want
749
00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:49,986
it to be.
750
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,414
[Laughs] You know, you are
751
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:53,743
absolutely right.
752
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:53,997
You are not a baby.
753
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,330
You are not a baby.
754
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:56,332
Sometimes I think you're smarter
755
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:58,463
than your old man.
756
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,000
I want mommy to come home.
757
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,040
I want mommy to come home.
758
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:03,206
I do, too, sweetheart.
759
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:05,960
Come here.
760
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,847
[Sighing]
761
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,016
Really, dude?
762
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,000
Really.
763
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:18,190
Really.
764
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,058
I gotta tell you guys,
765
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,765
it gives me extreme pleasure
766
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:23,315
to see you all here today.
767
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:23,999
I know there are some of you who
768
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:24,480
I know there are some of you who
769
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:25,856
are new to the course.
770
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,073
And for those of you who are
771
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,152
returning, welcome back.
772
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:29,998
Now in the past, I may have been
773
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,320
now in the past, I may have been
774
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,947
a little harsh.
775
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,243
Inflexible.
776
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:35,076
Demanding, even.
777
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,000
And for that I apologize.
778
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,120
And for that I apologize.
779
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,124
You see, today is a new day.
780
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,576
But make no mistake,
781
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:41,997
young bright ones.
782
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:42,710
Young bright ones.
783
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,463
We will delve deeply into
784
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:45,995
the classics.
785
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,998
Deep into "Hamlet."
786
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:48,630
Deep into "Hamlet."
787
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:49,546
It's my approach that will
788
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:50,633
change.
789
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:53,388
In other words, I am here
790
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,000
for you.
791
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:54,890
For you.
792
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,432
So let's jump into "Hamlet:
793
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,556
"The tragedy of the prince of
794
00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:00,003
Denmark."
795
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,100
Denmark."
796
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,556
So, who's the main character
797
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,726
in "Hamlet."
798
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:11,913
My god...
799
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:11,999
You know what?
800
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:12,910
You know what?
801
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:13,910
What's your name?
802
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:14,661
Dave.
803
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,872
Dave, Dave, I am glad you
804
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,241
asked that question.
805
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:17,997
Because I am going to give
806
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:23,038
you a shot at answering that
807
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:23,995
question.
808
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,000
Question.
809
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:29,165
Okay, Dave, give it a go.
810
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:29,996
Hamlet?
811
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:30,220
Hamlet?
812
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,299
How brilliant! Brilliant!
813
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,184
Rice krispies treats for
814
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,050
everyone.
815
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:35,997
That you, son?
816
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,850
That you, son?
817
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:38,181
Yeah, pop.
818
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,805
Sorry to awake you.
819
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,003
Come, come sit with
820
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:42,640
Come, come sit with
821
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,108
your old man.
822
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,360
[Sighing]
823
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:48,001
I know you're a grown man with
824
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:48,360
I know you're a grown man with
825
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:49,572
three kids, but I still can't
826
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:50,111
sleep 'til I hear you come
827
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:54,004
through the door.
828
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:54,110
Through the door.
829
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,618
[Sighs]
830
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,870
You think I ran Carla away?
831
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,002
I don't know.
832
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,450
I don't know.
833
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:01,747
All I ever saw was you two
834
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:04,210
lovin' each other.
835
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:05,631
And I saw you put your career
836
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:05,999
on hold, stayed at home,
837
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,170
on hold, stayed at home,
838
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:11,262
while Carla built her practice.
839
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,000
Apparently it wasn't enough.
840
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,970
Apparently it wasn't enough.
841
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,051
Are you kidding?
842
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:17,996
You took a job on the Internet.
843
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,680
You took a job on the Internet.
844
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:21,676
I mean if that's not
845
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:22,727
a commitment, I don't know
846
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,000
what is.
847
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:24,900
What is.
848
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,649
Why won't you call her?
849
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:30,003
Or do what most men do to forget
850
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,110
or do what most men do to forget
851
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:33,153
their troubles?
852
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,277
What's that?
853
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,004
Drive fast cars, chase loose
854
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,990
Drive fast cars, chase loose
855
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,945
women.
856
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:41,995
I'm sorry, have we met?
857
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:42,160
I'm sorry, have we met?
858
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:45,326
[Laughs] Or you could write
859
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:47,205
about your troubles.
860
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,002
I mean you're an English
861
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,090
I mean you're an English
862
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,800
professor.
863
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:52,670
At least the grammar will be
864
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:53,996
good.
865
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,180
Good.
866
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,339
Both: [Laughing]
867
00:18:59,179 --> 00:18:59,999
Alex: [Thinking] Title.
868
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,310
Alex: [Thinking] Title.
869
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,730
I need a good title.
870
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,003
♪
871
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:11,320
♪
872
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,000
Hm...
873
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:12,070
Hm...
874
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:14,110
Becoming a married, single dad
875
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,364
after your wife gets a job in
876
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:17,997
L.A. even though her husband
877
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,450
L.A. even though her husband
878
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:22,043
and three kids live in New York.
879
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,999
Colon.
880
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:24,080
Colon.
881
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,463
Marriage is complicated.
882
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:30,002
♪
883
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:36,000
♪
884
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,380
♪
885
00:19:37,430 --> 00:19:41,980
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