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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,920
Have it! Smash it, babe! Six. Woo!
2
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,520
Go on. Think of that suit, darl.
Shah!
3
00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:09,440
Burn!
4
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,320
Oh! That's right.
5
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:14,040
Nine, OK.
6
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,480
Ten. Well done. Well done.
Ah! Babe. Yeah, darling?
7
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,520
Can I tell you something, but you
promise you can't go garrity?
8
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,520
What, is it?
Oh, my God, what is happening?
9
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,720
Is it Teddy, baby,
is this why you're holding me down?
10
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,800
I'm not holding you down, babe.
Feels like you are holding me down right now.
11
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,360
Definitely not holding you down,
babe. Listen to me, listen.
12
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,040
I can tell you
I'm starting to get proper
13
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,000
Aggro Santos about this wedding, all
right, you know, what with Chloe not
14
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,680
being the wedding planner any more.
I can see you're getting
15
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,040
your heart palpitations,
your tight chest.
16
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,400
Just tell me,
just, just tell me quick.
17
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,520
Kay's stepping in as
the new wedding planner.
18
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,720
No, she isn't!
No way, that is not happening.
19
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,520
No way, no way to Kay,
she ain't though, she is not though.
20
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,160
Oh, she is though, Gary,
21
00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,480
and do not go to war with me
in the middle of The Dave, Gal.
22
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,600
Oh, we're at war,
this is the middle of the...
23
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:02,840
Hold up, hold up.
24
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:05,560
Is that why she's changed the name
of the wedding WhatsApp group
25
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,120
to Party People?
26
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,920
I mean, Party People?
This is my wedding!
27
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:10,400
Oh-ho, it's your wedding, is it now?
28
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,880
Well, you should have thought
about that before organising
29
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,680
the sten do the night
before the wedding.
30
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,800
It's in keeping with the old school
traditional theme what we're
31
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,720
going for.
Plus, it's cost-effective,
32
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,600
and I'm the only one who's thinking
about expenditure cos you're
33
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,480
just rinsing it, darling, flopping
out the wedge. Here it goes, money,
34
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,400
money, money. Terri don't worry
about it - where's that money going?
35
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,520
I don't care!
Whoa! What is that supposed to mean?
36
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,200
I'm just saying there's been
a lot of events. Has there?
37
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,440
You've had your bottomless
garage brunch,
38
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,000
you've had your afternoon tea
at Claridge's. So?
39
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,480
Now tomorrow, you've got
another big lunch up west.
40
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,440
I mean, come on!
41
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,240
Well, it's Kay's
official first event,
42
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,520
the change of the guard,
you've got your boy's one.
43
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,680
It's a suit-fitting!
It's a suit-fitting.
44
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,600
Honestly, rein your mates in.
45
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,040
My mates? What about your
mates on that group, Gary?
46
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,360
Have you seen the filth Martin's
been putting out there?
47
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,240
I mean, it's making me
feel utterly bilious.
48
00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,640
Martin ain't my mate,
he's your mum's boyfriend. He's part of the groom party, babe.
49
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,360
Because he begged to be because he's
never been to a wedding before.
50
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:07,200
We knew the WhatsApp group would be
a political mind-field,
51
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,280
and now Kay's in charge.
52
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,160
Hm, what could go wrong?
53
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,200
Oh, do not take
that tone with me, Tony.
54
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,960
Tony, what are you going
on about Tony? Not at all, mate.
55
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,960
Hold on a minute,
sorry, can you hear that music?
56
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,800
Can't hear a thing.
It's Toni Braxton.
57
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,600
Oh, very funny, very funny,
honestly,
58
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,280
I'm just worried about our wedding.
So I'm sorry.
59
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,080
Oh, what are you worried about?
Cry me another river, Tony Bennett.
60
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,480
Rich, why don't you shut your face?
Honestly, Tel, shut up, serious.
61
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,880
Ooh, shut up now? Why you being
so defensive, Tony Adams?
62
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:36,080
Stop calling me different Tonys,
stop it now!
63
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,120
I'm going to walk away cos I don't
want this to evolve any more than it has to.
64
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,680
Oh, it's evolved, Gary,
it's evolving,
65
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,720
you just sped up the evolvalation
process, so good one.
66
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:49,440
Oh, go on, yeah, yeah, go on,
ooh, you're hard, yeah, go on.
67
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,200
Go on, I can do it all day, mate,
boom, there we go,
68
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,680
there's another for you.
69
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,760
You're a big baby, Gary,
with your big baby balls.
70
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,400
Yeah, wreck the joint!
71
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,280
Uh!
72
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,080
DISTANT ANIMALISTIC SQUEALS
73
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,520
Fo... That is foxes,
stupid horny foxes.
74
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,480
I'm going to give them what for.
75
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,000
ANIMALISTIC SQUEALS
76
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,440
Oh, babe, babe, baby.
77
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,720
It's Aaron!
Aaron's bonking out there.
78
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,200
He is bonking in his garden!
79
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,040
TO HIMSELF:
What are you playing at?
80
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,360
Dirty, horrible bonker.
Dirty, filthy bonker.
81
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,200
Oh, I'm going to turn my back.
82
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,960
So you know, I'll turn my back.
83
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,280
Ah!
84
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:27,720
I don't even want cover,
so you have it, I like to be cold.
85
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,200
I'm hot anyway. So I'm hot.
86
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:33,280
Actually done me a favour,
thank you for letting me cool down.
87
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,120
MOANING AND GROANING INTENSIFIES
88
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:45,920
Right, listen, you take care, yeah?
Be safe, be safe, yeah?
89
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,600
What's that? New girlfriend?
90
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,360
Why? You taking notes?
91
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,440
No notes, mate, just happy for you.
92
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,240
I see you having a little
sneaky peak last night.
93
00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,000
Is that cos you ain't
getting your end away?
94
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,200
SCOFFS COMICALLY
Sneaky peak, mate? Me? Nah. Nah.
95
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,640
And let me tell you, I'm still
very much getting my end away.
96
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,880
Really? Yeah, really.
97
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:12,240
Anyone can rock up and
put in a shift here and there,
98
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,880
for the odd game or two,
score a couple of goals.
99
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:19,240
You try staying with
the same club year upon year
100
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,800
and consistently performing.
101
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,520
Gary Neville, mate, that's who
I am when it comes to the sex.
102
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:29,760
I'm Gary Neville. Reliable,
no frills, just dependable.
103
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,680
Gary Neville?
Yeah, Gary Neville, mate.
104
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,360
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
105
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,360
Hello, darling.
106
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,000
You all right, b... Babe?
107
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,440
Don't know if you saw, I just did
the bins, done the bins.
108
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,000
Ooey! Trouble in paradise?
109
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,960
Trouble in nowhere - paradise in
paradise if anything, so...
110
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,920
Actually, I'm glad that
I've seen you here,
111
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:50,280
cos I wanted to say, um,
I've been talking to the
112
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,640
neighbours, mate, and this is -
you've got to stop the parties.
113
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,520
HE ROLLS HIS LIPS
114
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,640
I'm having another one
tonight, as it goes.
115
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:01,800
No, honestly, Aaron, no way,
no way. I'm going to have to say no.
116
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:05,080
Look, what I'm going to say is join
the Crescent Facebook group
117
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,800
and just see how it's
affecting people's lives.
118
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,240
I ain't joining
the Facebook group, Gary.
119
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,400
If anyone's got a problem with me,
they can come and talk with me.
120
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,800
OK. I get it.
121
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,240
Not everyone has got Facebook
but seriously, Aaron, mate,
122
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,560
seriously, Aaron, mate,
seriously, mate.
123
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,000
Friends and neighbours,
124
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,960
I want to assure you,
as your crescent warden,
125
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:32,520
I have noticed
the chatter that's happening
126
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,040
on WhatsApp and
the Facebook groups. Now...
127
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,560
You spoken to him yet?
Yeah, I was just getting to that.
128
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:41,640
I talked to Aaron this morning
on the drive and we talked, right...
129
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,720
I mean spoken to him,
opened your mouth, words come out,
130
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,120
let him know the apple core.
131
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,400
He knows, mate, he knows,
I very much let him know,
132
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,040
I was, like, "Mate, if you think
this is going to happen for much
133
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,160
"longer, you've got
another thing coming..."
134
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,360
Great, great, so no more
loud late-night parties.
135
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:59,440
Mm-hm, mm-hm, probably not,
probably maybe not, probably not.
136
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,960
What? Come on,
he's running riot over you.
137
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,200
When I handed down
the stewardship of this
138
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,240
crescent to you,
I thought you was ready.
139
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,800
I was born ready.
140
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,480
Born ready.
141
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,400
I have never let down
the kin of my...
142
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,920
Because you ain't been tested.
143
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,640
Look, people are unhappy, boy.
144
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,240
From down there in the circle
145
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,440
to as far as the eye can see,
there's rumblings.
146
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,880
Well, that is why... Dissent.
And that is why...
147
00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:27,080
Unrest. That's why I am
taking drastic action.
148
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:31,520
I am putting together
a list of people's grievances
149
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,520
and I am going to take
that to the council office.
150
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,880
A list? Lists are for mugs
and supermarkets.
151
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:40,240
He needs to go, there's no
reasoning with people like that.
152
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,320
Firm action must be taken.
153
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:45,280
Yes! Father, please,
just let me do this my way.
154
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,000
OK, please, I beg of you.
155
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,480
Yes, Robin Tuckett,
take the floor, mate, come on.
156
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,360
Him and his cohorts are always out
the front, smoking, shouting,
157
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,720
horns beeping. I was literally
hopping mad the other night.
158
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,600
He was in our back garden
hopping and screaming.
159
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,440
Yes, I was. Oh, look, it's quite
simple, send the boys round,
160
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,400
smash his motor to pieces,
take the man's heart out.
161
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,760
Nah, nah, nah,
no to that, that is vandalling.
162
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,480
Have you seen Annie's wrist, Gary?
163
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,920
She has taken a seriously
bad fall, look at this.
164
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,440
It's, it's nothing, honestly.
It's not nothing,
165
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,000
she was knocked off her bike
by a dangerously parked car.
166
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,600
It's just a sprain.
167
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,760
A grade-two sprain,
the ligament is completely twisted.
168
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,400
I should have spotted it,
but it just jumped right at me.
169
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,240
Don't blame yourself, you can't
move for aggressively parked cars
170
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,080
since this Aaron moved in!
171
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,280
This is all great stuff
for the list, thank you, Robin,
172
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:35,160
this is going to be... Come on, he's
nearly maimed one of our own here.
173
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,600
Well, it's just a sprain.
174
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,600
Are you even listening to me, Gary?
A grade-two sprain! Grade two!
175
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,280
Robin, Robin, I am listening, mate,
with my heart and my ears
176
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,920
but I am trying to be
diplomacy here.
177
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,880
Everyone should write a letter.
178
00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:52,400
Oh! Letters? What is it, 1954?
179
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,840
What you don't know, mate, what
no-one here knows is if the council
180
00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:59,000
gets more than seven letters about
the same problem, they will act.
181
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,200
Yes, Mum, please?
182
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,040
Can we talk about this
filth that Martin is
183
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,200
sharing on the WhatsApp group?
Mum, that is...
184
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,760
Sherilee and Ian are on there
and they're in their 70s.
185
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:08,960
That is not the concern...
186
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,080
No, it is vile, it's always the same
man looking very pleased with
187
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,360
himself with his big
Bob Watson hanging out.
188
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,560
Yes, Mum, I know it's
very upsetting for you
189
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:18,440
but this is a whole
different scenario.
190
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,080
I don't think she understands...
191
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,360
This is about the Crescent
and about Aaron, please.
192
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,040
Anne, darling, yes, please,
is it about Aaron? It is.
193
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,840
He yelled at poor
Jed Johns last week.
194
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:33,200
Oh. OK, Jed Johns isn't here, is
he?
195
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,560
He's had a heart attack, Gary.
Oh, my God.
196
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:36,960
That's where he is.
197
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,480
What, a heart attack because
of Aaron? Well, that's murder!
198
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,800
Murderer! I don't know
if it's because of Aaron.
199
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,360
But more about the heart attack
there, Anne,
200
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,360
just to sort of like
check back a little bit.
201
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,880
So Jed Johns was what,
in his late 30s, early 40s?
202
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,560
Um, late 30s, 38.
203
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,840
So, jeez, 38, I'm 39.
204
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,760
I mean, the heart attack did happen
a few days after the altercation
205
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,160
with Aaron.
206
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,080
Look, he's maimed Anne,
he's nearly killed Jed Johns,
207
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,680
the parties are endless,
208
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,520
the cat's having a 24-hour
shitathon in our garden.
209
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,560
This is not a time for
letters or civil lists.
210
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,280
You want to put the burners on,
liven yourself up
211
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,120
and get him off the Crescent now!
212
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,360
Yes!
APPLAUSE FADES OUT
213
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,360
Cheers, my darlings.
214
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,800
It's exciting.
215
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,880
Tel, what's going on, girl?
216
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:33,040
You've not been yourself within
yourself, I know that face.
217
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:38,000
It's Gary, I'm...
I'm not talking to him.
218
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,240
Oh, no. How bad is it?
219
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,960
Oh, I've gone fully dark.
220
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,640
Oh, God. Big tings though?
221
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,840
Big tings. Yeah.
222
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,560
We had a massive barney
down the Dave about the wedding.
223
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:53,200
Oh, you still a member, Terri?
I never see you down there.
224
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,440
So what was it about, babe?
225
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,960
Oh, nothing, just,
you know, wedding stuff,
226
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,520
Gary getting his knickers all
bunched up his walnut about it.
227
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,200
I'm actually going to get my hair
done different for the wedding.
228
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,800
So what stage you at, then,
with the fully dark? Stage two.
229
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,800
I'm going to go
really, really mega short with it
230
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,480
like a pixie cut, so you can, like,
really see my face properly.
231
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,240
Completed the silent treatment.
232
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:14,960
Now I'm moving smoothly into the
second phase and, oosh, guess what?
233
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:19,560
Gary's already crumbled,
asking where am I and am I OK?
234
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,720
So now I just hit back
with the dot dot dots.
235
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,160
Oh, the dot dot dot.
236
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,640
What's a dot dot dot?
237
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,520
Yeah, see, I go to reply
to the message,
238
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,200
Gary can see the dot dot dots,
239
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,960
he's thinking, "Ah, Terri's
replying, what's she going to say?
240
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:37,200
"What's she going to say?"
Nothing, nitto, back to dark.
241
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,200
Oh, to dark!
242
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,680
Savage.
243
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,480
So savage, yeah.
244
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:43,960
Shall we get a cocktail, then?
245
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,400
Stage three will be to
eventually answer the question,
246
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,800
but not answer the question,
with, like, a really confusing
247
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,240
cryptic message that will get
right into his bonce,
248
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,080
something like
"Oh, you know what you've done."
249
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,760
Just cos the wine's not
very good for my tummy,
250
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,240
it sort of gives me IBS.
251
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,560
Stage four, turn off my phone,
stage five, another cryptic message,
252
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:05,880
but this time I send the worst
emoji of all the emojis.
253
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,560
Oh, go on. The thumbs up.
254
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,240
I mean, no woman worth her salt
ever uses the thumbs up,
255
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,600
do you know what I mean?
256
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,600
I always send you
the thumbs up though, don't I?
257
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,960
Well, either that or you
could go sarcastic heart.
258
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,760
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
stick to what I know, babe,
259
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,600
it sends out a powerful message -
260
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,800
we are still friends,
but nothing more.
261
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,200
For now anyway, I mean,
I love him to pieces really.
262
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,520
Do you know what I mean?
263
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,560
DIAL TONE
264
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,560
Pick up, bubba, pick up.
265
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:32,320
I need you, baby girl, I need you.
266
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,880
Stuart! Stuart Williams.
267
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,320
Where were you for the big
Crescent meeting today, mate?
268
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,800
Erm, I was working.
269
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,040
I tell you something, mate,
you, you need to
270
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,560
go on the record about what happened
with your recycling bin.
271
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,480
Oh, do you know what, Gary? I'm
happy enough to stay out of it now,
272
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:47,880
it'll sort itself out.
273
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:51,320
Evil thrives
when good men do nothing,
274
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,200
and we're the good men here.
275
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,480
I'm under the cosh, Stu,
I'm under the cosh, mate.
276
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,040
I had the mother of all
arguments with my Terri.
277
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,560
Honestly, mate, I don't know
what to do, I'm beside myself.
278
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:05,880
She's ignoring me, blanking
all my calls, blanking my texts.
279
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,200
It's the longest I've ever
gone in my life
280
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,920
without speaking to her, mate.
I feel like I am living your life.
281
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,680
Well, when did
you have this argument?
282
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:15,800
Last night. Right, so you've not
spoken for an entire morning?
283
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,880
It's not quite the same,
is it, Gary?
284
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,400
It's exactly the same!
285
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,520
Shall we look at our
relative situations?
286
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,920
Cos your situation is
you've had a minor
287
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,000
disagreement during preparation for
your wedding, whereas my situation
288
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,800
is if I want to see my kids, I've
got to speak to a lawyer first.
289
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,760
So it's pretty much exactly
the same is what I'm saying, mate.
290
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,560
Honestly.
291
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:37,720
Look, this is a text what she said,
just read that for me, please.
292
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,720
"You now what you've done"?
293
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,040
Does she mean "know"?
294
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,880
Yeah. I think that, yeah,
that does make more sense.
295
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,960
Yeah. Well, what have you done?
296
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,360
Last night, she turned round,
297
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,760
she said she wanted Kay to be
the wedding planner,
298
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,320
and I'm like, "No way, mate!"
299
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,240
Do you actually call her mate?
300
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,560
Yeah, because she is
my best mate of all time
301
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,440
and my most exquisite lover of sex.
302
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,080
OK, well, that's disgusting,
303
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,160
but she is clearly
talking about this argument?
304
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,560
Honestly, I knew that you'd
understand of all the people
305
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,920
I knew in my life cos you are, like,
the captain of sadness.
306
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,240
OK, I don't want to be known as
the captain of sadness...
307
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,280
You are, mate,
you are like Professor Sad.
308
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,480
I'm...I don't want to be
known as Professor Sad.
309
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,480
Thank you for being
so sad and giving me
310
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,720
the wisdom of your sadness.
That's not wisdom.
311
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,360
Of everyone I know, you have the
most experience with people not
312
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,080
loving you. Well, that's incredibly
hurtful, Gary, thank you.
313
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,680
And I also need to ask
you something.
314
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:30,320
Sure, I mean, after that
absolute volley of insults, what can I do for you?
315
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,920
If this thing kicks off with Aaron,
316
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,160
I need to know that you
have my back.
317
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,800
Well, as a last resort, I will...
318
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,480
I tell you what,
I'll think about it.
319
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,320
Do you mean that? A million
percent?
320
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,440
A million percent? There's no such
thing as a million percent.
321
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:46,000
Just do it, please, mate.
I need you, Stu.
322
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,280
I need you. Stu?
323
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,640
If you leave my driveway.
324
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,440
Thank you, OK. Thank you.
325
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:06,840
Well, thank you, Mr Tailor Man, and
how does one find the measurements?
326
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,720
Are they to your liking, sir?
327
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,720
Tell you what, I feel
like one of the Kingsmen.
328
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,600
Oh, he's a bit keen, isn't he, Gal?
LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY
329
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,080
Naughty, naughty!
Crabbie, mate, please.
330
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,560
What would Tel say? Hah!
331
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,680
Please, please, just show a bit of
decorum, mate,
332
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,400
show a little... Martin, why are you
taking your clothes off, mate?
333
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,200
Oh, I've never had a suit before.
But you don't take your clothes off.
334
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,560
What's this, mate? Is it mohair?
335
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:31,600
Look with your eyes, mate, not
your fingers, Crabbie, don't touch. What you got there, Gal? New ink?
336
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,320
Nothing, mate, don't worry about it,
don't worry about it. Show us.
337
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,880
Don't be no shy guy!
338
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,880
GUFFAWS
339
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,760
Just a little something
what I've had done.
340
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:39,880
Come on, show us.
341
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,000
Who's that? Kurt Cobain?
342
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,040
What? Tiger King.
343
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,960
Nah. Dog the Bounty Hunter.
344
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,440
Look at it, Crabbie, mate,
look...look at it.
345
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,520
Edward Scissorhands. Edward...
346
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,680
What?! Is it Mick Hucknall?
347
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,840
It's Terri, mate, that is clearly...
348
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,320
Look at... Look at it, it's Terri!
349
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,560
Oh. All right, Crab?
All right, mate. All right, boy?
350
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,800
Hello, Crabbie.
351
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,640
Murder trying to find
this gaff, wasn't it?
352
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,760
Martin, mate, pull your trousers up
there, pal.
353
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,560
My mother's here now,
pull your trousers up. What's that on your arm?
354
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,120
It's the most romantic thing what
someone can do for the person
355
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:16,080
they love most with all their heart.
What, get a tattoo of Robbie Savage?
356
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,880
Martin, trousers, mate, seriously.
357
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,800
I am not happy with you,
you pervert.
358
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,920
Mum, not in here if you don't
mind, please, not in here.
359
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,720
No, he's got me terrified
to look in my phone, literally.
360
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,120
Every time I get a WhatsApp
from you, I get the fear.
361
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,800
What have I done? The big willy man.
362
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,280
No, Mum, not in here, this is
a respectable establishment,
363
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,680
these are gentlemen.
I am livid here, Gary, I'm livid.
364
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,640
If he comes to the wedding, I'm
telling you now, there'll be uproar!
365
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,360
Oi, mate, can I borrow your khazi?
366
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,680
No, you can't, mate,
you can't, no, Crabbie, seriously.
367
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,720
I said before we came here,
I said go to the toilet.
368
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,120
I'm so sorry, Denise.
369
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,880
I'm not very able with the phones.
370
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,080
It's innocent wrong grouping,
that's all it is, Mum.
371
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,400
Oh, just don't, it's disgusting,
you should be ashamed. Please forgive me.
372
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,280
You'd genuinely feel more sincere
if you just pulled your trousers up.
373
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,520
Oi, that muppet Aaron is sorted.
374
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,000
Winkle's going to smash
his motor to pieces tonight.
375
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,400
No, he isn't. Yes, he is.
No, he isn't. Yes, he is.
376
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,800
No, he isn't.
377
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,280
No, get out!
378
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,520
Get out now.
Go! Get! Go and wait in the car!
379
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,840
For now, can I just please enjoy
the suit fitting,
380
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,400
which I have been looking
forward to my whole life?
381
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,160
OK, that's it. I'm going to have
to throw him a little lifeline -
382
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,280
just in case there's
an emergency or something.
383
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,720
PHONE VIBRATES
384
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:46,240
LAUGHTER AND
INDISTINCT CONVERSATION
385
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,960
PHONE RINGS OUT
386
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,880
That's three times.
387
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,560
Three times he ain't answered.
388
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:10,400
Here, do you reckon he is going
fully dark an' all?
389
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,040
He's probably just got bored
like we have.
390
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,840
Babe, it takes as long as it takes.
391
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:18,200
Just so you both know, I need a wee.
392
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,640
Oh. Have you got a bottle?
I haven't got a bottle.
393
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,280
Have you got a bottle? I don't
really want to do it in a bottle.
394
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,880
Do you reckon you can get it
in there? Got too much for that.
395
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:29,640
No! No! No, no, no!
396
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,080
This is not a piddle bus!
397
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:38,080
This is insane. This has gone
too far. What? Sitting in my car - pissing in my car!
398
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,240
It's too far, mate!
399
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,720
Right, we are going home.
400
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,440
Hello!
It's me, Mum. Let me in.
401
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,160
No, you're all right.
What do you want?
402
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,920
Gone fully dark, haven't I?
Got nowhere else to go, so...
403
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,480
What stage are you at?
Further than I've never been.
404
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,000
You all right? Yes.
405
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,920
No! Shitting hell!
406
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,480
What's going on?
Look, I've got some...
407
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,560
What?
408
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,440
I've got something
to tell you. All right.
409
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,720
Me and Martin...have finished.
410
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:34,480
Oh, what's going on? I thought
you was happy. I was!
411
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:39,320
Like 70% happy.
412
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,000
But I've met someone else. Ah!
413
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,560
Of course you have.
Here we go again.
414
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,200
I mean, honestly, you not getting
a bit old for all this caper?
415
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:51,680
Well, this is the thing.
This new fella is younger...
416
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,040
..and sexier.
417
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,360
Go on, then, who is it?
418
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,360
SHE SNIGGERS
419
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,000
Why are you acting like a kid?
What is going on?
420
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,600
Oh, my God, it stinks in here, Mum.
421
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,120
DISTANT CHEERING
422
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,440
ALL: Whoa!
423
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,440
CHEERING
424
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,200
Hey! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
425
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,080
Sneaky Peeker!
426
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,080
LAUGHTER
427
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:37,160
What you looking at, guy?
Keep yourself to yourself, mate!
428
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:41,000
He's having another party, babe.
He's having another party!
429
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,800
And this one is the loudest one yet!
430
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:47,440
Honestly, babe. Honestly?
I'm bubbling.
431
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,240
I'm bubbling, babe.
432
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,320
I'm about to boil over, darling.
433
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:54,320
I don't know what to do,
because you're not here.
434
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,760
I need you babe, I need you,
435
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,440
so please, call me.
436
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,960
Love you.
437
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,360
DOORBELL RINGS
438
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,200
You all right, Gary? I've got
a noggin full of problems, mate,
439
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,080
and I don't need you. Do you want
to hear some good news?
440
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,400
What good news?
I've taken a lover.
441
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,120
Really? What kind of bird's going
to be knocking about with you?
442
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:20,680
I'm now the official boyfriend
of Jodie Simone - Terri's mother.
443
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,680
Nah! No way.
444
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:27,080
I knew you would do this, mate.
I knew you'd do it. Any way you
445
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:30,440
could get an invite to the wedding,
you would. You're disgusting!
446
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,360
No, Gal, our love is pure.
447
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,800
I just want this to be a new
start for us...as a family.
448
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,640
You are not my family.
Don't fight it, son.
449
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:44,720
Stop calling me "son".
You are not my dad. Stepdad.
450
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,560
Let's not put labels on things. I'm
going to do something about this.
451
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:54,040
Wahey! It's Sneaky Peeker!
What's up?
452
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,160
I wasn't peeking, mate,
I wasn't.
453
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,520
There's a sparrow's nest at the back
of the garden there.
454
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,600
That's what I was looking at.
Is that a tattoo of Meat Loaf
455
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,000
on your arm, Gary?
456
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,160
That is a tattoo of my beloved,
Terri, and it is not for your
457
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,280
eyes, so look away. None of you
look at it. It's not for your eyes.
458
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,280
I'm glad that you've
heeded my warning
459
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,520
and you've taking your partying ways
away from this crescent.
460
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,680
What? Not that it's any of
your business, Gary, yeah?
461
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,880
But we'll be back here for afters.
462
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,440
But there's an agreement here
on Butterchurn Crescent -
463
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,480
an amnesty, if you will.
There are no after-parties.
464
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,560
What, an amnesty, yeah?
Really, Gary?
465
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:34,520
Why do you keep saying my name
like it's funny?
466
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,040
It's a normal name, mate.
I'm just trying to warn you.
467
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,880
What, are you threatening me?
468
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,280
Nah.
469
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,920
Nah, mate, I'm not
threatening you, mate.
470
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:50,760
This is just a warning that comes
before the actual threat, OK?
471
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,920
That's what people
who are threatening say.
472
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,280
No, no, this is like...
473
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,320
So there's a warning that comes
before the threat and that's what
474
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,280
I'm doing to you, mate. So this
is a friendly warning, if anything.
475
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,880
Well, shouldn't the friendly warning
come before the official
476
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,440
warning and then the threat?
I don't... Honestly, I don't know.
477
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,080
All I'm saying to you, mate,
is just please don't bring your
478
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,480
after-party back here. Please, mate.
479
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:13,840
Nah, mate!
480
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,400
We make this! Ah, let's go!
481
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,760
My guys!
482
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,320
Eh! Too much!
483
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,120
Do you want a hand, son? Nah.
484
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,880
Nah, I got this, Winkle.
485
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,160
MUSIC: Bucky Done Gun by MIA
486
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,200
They're coming through the window
487
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,000
They're coming through the door
488
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,000
They're busting down the big wall
489
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,160
And sounding the horn
490
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,160
We want the bucky done gun
491
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:51,960
We want that fire done burn
492
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,920
We want the bucky done gun
493
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,920
Get crackin'
Get, get crackin'
494
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,720
We want the bucky done gun
495
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:01,040
We want that fire done burn
We want the bucky done gun
496
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:04,080
Get crackin'
Get, get crackin'.
497
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,200
Sorry, you didn't explain
what the hell is going on.
498
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,840
Time to hand out
some street justice.
499
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,880
What...
What does that even mean?
500
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,800
I mean, they've gone out,
the music's stopped.
501
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,840
That is all part of the plan.
502
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,000
Yeah, what is the plan?
You haven't told me.
503
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,760
Less talk, more action.
504
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,320
Smash car.
505
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,720
So the plan is to smash his car up?
506
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,160
Exactly.
507
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,560
Smash...car!
508
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,800
You... Are you all right, Gary?
509
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,440
Smash cars!
510
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,920
You sound a bit...
Well, you sound a bit like the Hulk.
511
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,560
Ugh! Sick in my bum!
512
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,960
Yeah, OK? Agh-agh-aagh!
513
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,560
Gary, you all right, mate? Agh!
514
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,600
DISTORTED: Can you hear me, Gary?
515
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,760
My name Gaky! Are you all right?
Hey, put that down.
516
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,320
Smash car! Gary!
517
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:54,760
Gary?
518
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,280
HIS VOICE DISTORTS
AND ECHOES
519
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,880
Hey, it's all right.
Shh-shh-shh-shh.
520
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:11,880
Gave us a scare there, babes.
521
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,240
Gave myself a scare.
522
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,080
I'm really sorry, babe.
I should have been here for you.
523
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,680
I was too busy trying to punish you
and I shouldn't have done.
524
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,400
I feel really rotten.
525
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,000
Don't dare blame yourself.
Do not dare blame yourself.
526
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,840
It's my doing.
527
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:33,040
I have been playing fast and loose
with my health for far too long.
528
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,080
From now on,
I will be Chill-play Gary.
529
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,480
Yeah.
530
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,760
What's that there, babe?
531
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,120
Oh! That's supposed to be me, is it?
Yeah.
532
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:51,520
Oh, OK. Um...
All right, I'm sure we can do
533
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,560
something about that - like, you
know, shade it in or block it out,
534
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,960
or just, we'll get rid.
535
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,880
You bloused it, then?
A panic attack?
536
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,840
They're the ones that kill you, Mum.
537
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,440
They're far more dangerous
than any heart attack.
538
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,200
PHONE RINGS
539
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,200
Oh, my life.
540
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,680
Oh, it's Martin again. Ugh!
541
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,840
He wants neutering, the louse.
542
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:15,760
My darling? Yeah. I want you to
speak to our wedding planner, Kay,
543
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,520
and you tell her to remove
Martin Fudd
544
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,320
from the wedding WhatsApp group.
545
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,920
Oh, babe, she'll be
so made up. Thank you.
546
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,480
Oh, I love you. Love you more.
547
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,080
I'm like a chair without legs
without you.
548
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:32,960
DOORBELL RINGS
549
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,360
Oh, I'll get that.
550
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,400
Oh, hello.
Yeah, is Gary there, please?
551
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,560
Yeah, I'll grab him for you.
552
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,040
What do you want?
Someone's, er...
553
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,840
Someone's smashed up me motor
554
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,800
and they've stole my cat.
555
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,920
Do you know anything?
556
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,680
Did you see anything,
or, like, I think, maybe,
557
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,440
as, like, the crescent warden,
558
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,920
someone might have reported
something?
559
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,560
I know who smashed up
your car, mate.
560
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:23,160
And I know who took your cat.
Who-who... Who was it, bruv?
561
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,080
It was me. I did it.
562
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,560
What...? You're serious? Yeah.
563
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,160
See, this is my serious face.
564
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:37,720
What...? You think you can...
you can do something like that to me
565
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:38,960
and get away with it?
566
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,480
Oh, I know I'm going
to get away with it, mate.
567
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,640
See, this is what your problem is,
right?
568
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,360
This is your problem.
569
00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:47,800
In a domestic dispute such as this,
570
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,560
what one needs is weaknesses, right?
571
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:54,320
Now, in this circumstance, for you,
is I'm pretty sure no-one saw
572
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,720
a thing, mate.
I can almost guarantee that.
573
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,800
You've gone down like
a shitty penny round here, mate.
574
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:05,360
So get your stuff and get out
of Butterchurn Crescent, mate.
575
00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:06,960
Be gone.
576
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,400
I'll have your cat sent along
safely and soundly,
577
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,520
but you've got to go, boy! Go on!
578
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,840
You look after her, yeah?
You have my word on that.
579
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,480
Go on. Go on mate, go on.
Go on, off you go.
580
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,400
HE WHISTLES
581
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:27,120
You all right, boy? Mate, honestly -
well done, smashing his car up.
582
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,240
I've just done a deal
with the man, yeah?
583
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,560
You've just got to get that cat back
to him safely. That's the deal. Well done, Dad.
584
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:36,360
What cat? I didn't touch his cat.
Just smashed his motor to pieces.
585
00:28:36,410 --> 00:28:40,960
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