All language subtitles for Val.2021.1080p.WEB.H264-BIGDOC-English

So I went over
to Harold Becker and I said,

"Listen, man, I'm not quitting.

You can't get me to quit,
you fucker."

I'll kick that guy's ass
in the last scene.

You know?

So the next day, they said,
"No, you got to go."

You ever been fired before?

- Fuckers.
- I've been fired.

Yeah?

I've almost been fired
from all of my movies.

Every time, they start
looking for someone else.

Even this one.

# I love her... #

Hey! More! More! More.

More. More.

He wants more!

More sex.

More drugs. More wine!

More tobacco. More headaches.

More ulcers. More herpes.

More women.

And less of Tom Cruise.

Give me more!

# Everybody's talking at me #

# I don't hear a word
they're saying #

# Only the echoes... #

I don't do this
with every interview I go on,

take you inside my home.

I don't, but I'm going to.

# People stopping, staring #

# I can't see their faces #

# Only the shadows
of their eyes... #

My name is Val Kilmer.

# I'm going where the sun
keeps shining #

# Through the pouring rain... #

I'm an actor.

I was recently diagnosed
with throat cancer.

# Banking off
of the northeast winds... #

Though I healed quickly
from the cancer,

the extensive radiation
and chemotherapy treatment

that followed
has left my voice impaired.

# The ocean like a stone... #

I'm still recovering,
and it is difficult

to talk and to be understood.

# Everybody's talking at me #

# Can't hear a word
they're saying #

# Only the echoes of my mind #

# I won't let you leave #

# My love behind #

# No, I won't let you leave... #

# No, I won't... #

# I won't let you leave... #

Here we go.

My name is Val Kilmer.

I've lived a magical life.

And I've captured
quite a bit of it.

I was the first guy I knew
to own a video camera.

I have thousands of hours
of videotapes and film reels

that I've shot
throughout my life and career.

I've kept everything.

And it's been
sitting in boxes for years.

Writing.

Hi, my name's Val.

Audition tapes.

Behind the scenes.

Hi, buddy.

You look
strangely natural in that.

Look what?

You look
strangely natural in that.

Home movies.

Does that thing record
your voice, too?

Mm-hmm.

Ideas for films.

I've wanted to tell
a story about acting

for a very long time.

About the place where you end

and the character begins.

About truth and illusion.

Now that it's more difficult
to speak,

I want to tell my story
more than ever.

A story about my life...

...that is also not my life.

It's like I've lived my life

and

it's sort of

all in these boxes,

but what

is part of the

profound sadness

is that

I know it's incomplete.

As much as I've

filmed and as hard
as I've tried,

there's nothing I can do

to make

any of it understood.

I know that

that's not true,

but it's how I feel.

# Show me the way #

- # To go home #
- # Home #

# I'm tired
and I want to go to bed #

# Go to bed #

# I had a little drink #

# About an hour ago #

# And it's gone
right to my head. #

Hey, there, you come to see
the boating accident?

This was no boating accident.

I know you want this fish dead.

And I'll find him.
And I'll kill him.

But not for no measly $3,000.

I'll find him for three,
but I'll kill him for ten.

$10,000?

Ten boxes of crackers.

Once upon a time,
there were three brothers:

Wesley,

Mark

and me, Val.

Our father Eugene
was an industrialist

and real estate developer.

He named his company
Liberty Engineering

after the greatest
large sculpture in America.

Our mother Gladys
was a spiritual woman

who loved horses.

It was their shared devotion
to Christian Science

that brought
my parents together.

They raised us
in Chatsworth, California,

deep in
the San Fernando Valley,

adjacent to Hollywood,
the movie capital of the world.

My younger brother Wesley
was an aspiring director,

an artistic genius whose
imagination dwarfed mine.

He spent most of his time
making art...

...and remaking the films
he loved most.

We lived down the street
from Roy Rogers' ranch,

and when it went up
for sale in 1971,

my father bought it
and moved us in.

Wesley turned the ranch
into a full-on movie set.

Ha-ha! Push the button.

With this rocket, I intend
to cover the measured mile

in approximately 12 seconds.

Activate the rocket.

I wanted to act early on.

# Merry Christmas,
Uncle Scrooge #

# Humbug. #

My heroes were the greats...
- Yeah?

...who trained on the stage
and went on

to light up the screen.

Stella!

I remember the first time
I made a real audience laugh.

Don't wake the bomb.

It was then and there
that I realized

- there was nothing better.
- That small bomb,

if it explodes, will blow up
all of New York.

Also, Philadelphia and Boston.

And that was that.

Repeat after me:

- I...
- I...

- am...
- am...

- ...listening!
- ...listening!

- I don't believe it!
- I don't believe it!

This is the first time
for Chatsworth.

If you believe
in something enough,

it becomes real.

After years of dreaming
about going to New York,

I was the youngest kid
ever accepted

into drama school at Juilliard.

Mr. Kilmer, just...
just what did you feel

at the time when they said

Tales from Chatsworth
is the play?

All I felt
was this numbing sensation

in my left ear saying,
"We won!"

I was about to start
school in New York

when I had a dream.

In it, I was talking to
my high school girlfriend Mare

and her mom about death.

Her mom said it wasn't
something she feared

because it was where
she would meet her creator.

I woke from that dream
to a phone call

from my older brother Mark
telling me that Wesley

had an epileptic fit
and drowned in our Jacuzzi.

He was 15.

The sky wept.

No more home videos.

No more makeshift plays.

My confidant had
disappeared into dust.

And our family
was never the same again.

Hi.

I'm meeting the director
of the drama division

to show my son the school.

When I finally
started school,

I was raw with grief.

I put Wesley's drawings up all
over my apartment to help me.

Juilliard was tough.

The courses were rigorous,
and it was made clear to us

on the first day, whatever
we thought we knew was wrong.

When did you write
a volume of poetry

called My Edens After Burns?

'87, '88.

There's a poem in here
called "Acting Class."

"These acting scenes
are death pennies

"hanging over my head.

"But we're all friends here,
sitting in chairs

"designed by Satan...

"a million miles away
from this pontificator

juicing over the eternal springs
of moment-to-moment acting."

- She was so hard on us.
- She was hard?

We were schooled
in everything: Euripides,

Chekov,
and Shakespeare, of course.

There you go, Val.

Here's your name.

Right under...

- Do you know who that is?
- I do not, no.

That's a famous actress,

Kelly McGillis.

- Does this look familiar?
- It sure does.

This is cool.

There was no playwriting
program at the time,

which was odd,
so we started one.

We wrote a play called
How It All Began,

based on the memoir
of Michael Baumann,

a former leftist
German militant.

Well, now,

Michael Baumann will
be able to tell his story.

The play was about terrorism,

a topic as relevant
as ever today.

Before the Central Committee
of the Roaming Hash Rebels

or anything like it existed,
I was a perfectly normal person.

And then I got this feeling
from it that's like,

just like the Rolling Stones,
like, you know,

it's a downtowner!

We dreamed
that play into existence

and I experienced the joy of
performing my own words onstage.

- It's-it's abstract.
- Abstract.

It was life-changing.

You can't look at
any one element in isolation

and say this is
the only thing that's true.

The play
was such a success

that we were invited to
perform it at the public theater

after graduation.

As the lead,
it was my first step toward

becoming a young theater star
in the city.

Here we are,
filming ourselves.

The date is April 3, 1983.

Two years after graduation,

I get my first big break

on the New York stage
in a play called Slab Boys.

But after being given the lead,

I was asked by the director
if I would mind

playing the second lead because
Kevin Bacon was available.

Come on, man.

Is that, uh, is that
a video camera?

- It's rolling, yeah.
- Oh, that's really cool, Val.

That... that is boss.

Do we have a television here?

Then I was asked
to play the third lead

because Sean Penn was available.

# There's a moon out tonight #

# That I adore. #

That's gonna be worth
some money.

Now, what I'd like you to do
is when I leave,

I want you to get
as close as you can.

You only have a couple of feet.

And zoom in on the box.

And then you'll hear me say,
"I'll take a tea, please,"

onstage, while Mark and Cheryl,
my brother and...

you know who you are...
well, they'll be watching it.

Bye.

About to go onstage.

Val's just about
to make his entrance.

- Jack.
- Hi, Archie.

- And this is Phil McCann.
- Howdy, Andy.

And last but
by all means least...

Hector McKenzie...

I went from being
the star of the play

to playing the character
that was the butt of every joke.

It wasn't an easy pill
to swallow, but I did it.

Whoa!

It's true that
there are no small parts,

only small actors.

It's also true that not all
characters are created equal,

and it became clear to me
that my mission should be

to chase down those roles
that would transform me.

I'm really determined
to do Hamlet...

...by about 27, maybe 28.

I really am.

I'm gonna work on it very hard
and be very dedicated to it,

just like
a weekend camp counselor.

In Hamlet, Shakespeare
suggests it's the actor's job

to hold a mirror up to nature.

To capture everlasting truth
through an illusion.

What we strive for as actors
is a performance so true

that the audience can
see themselves in it.

Good, bad or ugly.

Oh, that this too, too solid
flesh would melt,

thaw...

and resolve itself into a dew.

Oh...

...that this too, too solid
flesh would melt,

thaw...

...and resolve itself
into a dew.

Oh...

...that this too, too solid
flesh would melt,

thaw and resolve itself
into a dew.

That this...

too, too solid flesh would melt,

thaw and resolve itself
into a dew.

Or that the Everlasting
had not fixed

his canon
'gainst self-slaughter.

Oh, God.

God!

Your body was
literally, uh, um,

responding to
what was happening.

Turmoil was going on inside...

your head this time.

Um... why such
an extreme response?

Uh, these words,
when he says that,

"I don't want to live anymore,
I wish I was dead,"

I've-I've never thought
those thoughts, really.

I've never...
and I took them to be true.

It's not just like a...

"Fuck, I wish I was dead."
Or, "I wish..."

There is no way,
absolutely no way

you never thought
those thoughts.

There is no way.

Every actor
must finally accept that.

Well, yeah,
in the context of what...

of the situation where
the character expresses...

Yes, so you had those thoughts

even as
this character expresses.

Yes, you've had
these experiences.

Yes, you have had this response.

There are no limitations

to the actor's capacity...
the creative capacity...

to have experienced
even that which is not

a conscious experience in your
life, and it's for this reason

that I have held firmly
to the belief

that there never is a need
for substitution.

Because, "I never had
this situation in my life.

I never experienced this."

There is nothing

that you have not
experienced and known.

# Wop-bop-a-loo-bam,
a-lop-bam-boom #

# Tutti frutti, oh, Rudy... #

I had been working hard
building a career in theater

when Hollywood came calling.

I was cast
in the movie Top Secret.

# Wop-bop-a-loo-bam,
a-lop-bam-boom... #

Top Secret is an over-the-top,

rock musical,
spy thriller parody.

To this day, I have trouble

explaining
what the film is about.

I'm not the first guy
who fell in love

with a girl he met
in a restaurant,

who then turned out to be
the daughter of

a kidnapped scientist,
only to lose her

to a childhood lover who she'd
last seen on a deserted island

and who turned out
15 years later

to be the leader
of the French Underground.

I know. It...

It all sounds like
some bad movie.

I approached the character
the only way I knew how,

which was with everything I had.

# How silly can you get,
yeah, yeah... #

I spent four months learning
how to play the guitar,

but when I got to set,

the directors thought
it would be funnier if I mimed.

They watched me
make my fingers bleed

just to see the look on my face

when they told me,
"We like it better

when you can't play,
like Elvis."

We filmed the movie in London,

but it was my initiation
into Hollywood.

# Cross my heart... #

I miss London bad.

It's just, you know,

the first big city I came to

after New York.

While I was filming,
I stayed in an apartment

just down the street from
the famous Royal Court Theatre.

Great actors like
Laurence Olivier

and Alec Guinness
have graced that stage.

At the time,
an unknown Danny Boyle

was directing a play there
called The Genius,

and I went eager for
some culture and inspiration.

I immediately fell in love

with a young actress in it
named Joanne Whalley.

I watched her in that play more
times than I'd like to admit.

And one night, I followed
her and her cast mates

to a local pub, but I was
too intimidated and shy

to introduce myself.

She was brilliant.

# And love me tonight... #

And I was in town
making fluff.

Fuck. This is our set.

Welcome aboard, actors.

Here it goes.
The rails are up.

Rick.

And follow me.

Believe it or not,

I didn't want
to do Top Gun at first.

I felt the script was silly,

and disliked
warmongering in film.

But I was under contract
with the studio,

so I didn't
really have a choice.

It was the director
Tony Scott's colorful vision

and energy that made
the whole experience enjoyable.

It was hard
not to be seduced by it.

On the page, there was very
little to the character Iceman.

# I don't like the film,
I don't like the film... #

So I attempted to make him real.

# Play it all back,
and I don't like... #

I manifested a backstory for him

where he had a father
who ignored him,

and as a result,
was driven by the need

to be perfect in every way.

# But I like the actors... #

This obsession with perfection
is what made him so arrogant.

That was great.
That was a good shot.

I would purposely
play up the rivalry

between Tom's character and mine
off-screen as well.

And what ended up happening
is the actors,

in true Method fashion,
split into two distinct camps.

You had Maverick and Goose
on one side

and Slider, Hollywood, Wolfman
and me, Iceman, on the other.

It was fun to play up the
conflict between our characters,

but in reality, I've always
thought of Tom as a friend,

and we've always
supported each other.

- It was Val.
- Val, that smelled great.

- Great.
- Hey.

Inserts.

Inserts can be valuable.

Each night after wrap,
our camp would party hard

around San Diego.

# They say we're young
and we don't know #

# We won't find out
until we grow... #

Kelly McGillis and I
hardly spoke at Juilliard,

but because we had
that experience in common,

we became fast friends on set.

# Baby, I got you... #

She and Barry Tubb,
who played Wolfman,

fell in love during the film

and stayed happily together
for some time.

# I got you, babe #

# I got flowers in the spring #

# I got you to wear my ring... #

Anthony Edwards,

star of Revenge of the Nerds!

I'm a nerd, and, uh,

I'm pretty proud of it.

We were all
at the start of our careers,

with a film or two
under our belts.

Haven't you dicks
got anything better to do?

There's one thing I've learned

in all my years:

sometimes you got to say,
"What the fuck?"

Come in for the close-up.

Val, it was a full-page ad
yesterday.

Val, you have to get
still approval next time.

Would you be prepared
if gravity reversed itself?

# I got you, babe #

# I got you, babe... #

A surprise leader in
the summer movie sweepstakes...

- Top Gun is a pop gun.
- When it kicked in its burners,

the box office went "pow!"

None of us knew at the time

what a crazy commercial success
the film would be.

All of a sudden,

I was being catapulted
into the celebrity stratosphere.

Val!

And for the rest of my
life, I would be called "Iceman"

by every pilot
at every airport I ever went to.

I love you, Val!

Want to say a few words
to Cable News Network?

- Okay.
- Sheryl, Val "Kilmeer."

- Val! Val!
- We've got... We have him?

# Looking for some hot stuff,
baby, this evening #

# I need some hot stuff #

# Baby, tonight #

# I want some hot stuff,
baby, this evening #

# Got to have some hot stuff #

# Got to have
some love tonight #

# Hot stuff #

# I need hot stuff #

# I want some hot stuff #

Yeah?

# I need hot stuff #

What's up?

So, as you have seen now
several times,

I can't speak
without plugging this hole.

This is because

they put a piece of plastic

down my breathing tube,

which is also,
as everyone knows,

where your food goes down,

and because the hole
is so small,

you have to make a choice,

when you have this
kind of problem, whether you

breathe or eat.

Obviously, if you can't breathe,
you can't eat.

Shit!

Goddamn.

Oh, no, not...

Oh, Val, I'm not even ready,
dressed.

She really looks great usually.

- Oh... come on.
- You'll notice later.

I want my picture taken.

Please d... don't, Val.

Oh... don't. Don't, Val.

My mom filed for divorce
when I was eight.

My father had several affairs,

and my mother finally left him
because of it.

She's trying to hide.

My father used
his power and money

to win custody
of my brothers and I.

You can tell everybody it was...

it was the Swedish cooking.

Growing up,
Mom was as enigmatic to me

as Ingrid Bergman,

who was also Swedish.

She was strong but aloof,

which made me seek out
her approval and love even more.

Carla's got eight grandkids.

And they're all darling.

After the divorce, she
moved to Wickenburg, Arizona,

and married Bill,
the love of her life.

That's not fair,
Val Kilmer, you turkey.

Bill was the life of the party,

who loved to drink
till he slurred

and told dirty jokes
that my mom loved to laugh at

and then would admonish with,
"Oh, Bill."

Yeah, yeah, get it, get, get!

I didn't take to him
right off the bat.

I eventually came to recognize
what a good soul he was.

Hello.

I think I'll have
another Diet Coke.

My mother rarely shared
her personal feelings,

but I always
felt connected to her

through the faith
that she passed on to me.

That faith has helped me weather

some of life's
most devastating hardships.

I used to hate the Valley
with an absolute passion.

I hate it.

It's so, uh...

it's the rim of hell.

It's where hell begins,
right here.

If you look over the edge,

you can look down into hell.

I haven't been out here
in 15 years.

The last time
I was out here was making

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
with Robert Downey Jr.

That house was there,

but the rest
of these houses weren't here,

and my dad
bought all the property

and

sold each one of the lots

so he could

decide who his neighbors
were gonna be.

This is my old house.

The second house.

It's full of death.

Dad blamed himself
for Wesley's death.

Wesley was under his care,
and he wasn't as strict

as he probably should have been

about making him take
his epilepsy pills.

Moses and his band
of faithful followers.

We're coming
to the promised land.

That's over Jordan
and beyond the Red Sea.

# Look over Jordan #

- # And what did I see #
- Just outside of Egypt.

# Coming for to carry me home? #

After Wesley died, all of
my father's charisma vanished,

and he became a detached
and vacant version of himself.

What you thinking about?

I'm thinking about
how nice it is to be away from

the civilization called
Los Angeles.

Life seems to have
more meaning out here

if you can just get connected
to it, huh?

His finances had also
taken a turn for the worse.

But he was unwilling
to give up his dream:

becoming one of California's
biggest land barons.

So he asked for my help.

After starring in a few films,
I'd begun to make my own money

and was asked to cosign
on his loans.

That's our property line
right there?

Yeah, that's the property.
This is lot number three.

I wanted to be a good son to him

and agreed
without much hesitation.

My father bought all of this.

All of this.

Come over, Val,
so we can show you...

- Okay.
- ...what we're doing here.

Good deal.

So, we're coming here
with a ten-foot...

I gave my father
power of attorney,

and he put my name
on over 20 phantom companies

that were shells
in order to avoid taxes.

He hoped it would work out,
but when it didn't,

I had to make a choice:

sue my own father

or write a check
for everything I had.

I wrote the check
and got back to work.

Whoa.

What are you staring at?

A few years after first
seeing her perform in London,

fate miraculously cast
Joanne Whalley and I together

in the movie Willow.

I fell in love with her
all over again.

# Hear it like a pounce
upon a peak, oh #

# Look at what the light
did now #

# Bear it like a bounce
upon the beak, oh... #

Help!

# Land and water and bird... #

Uh, it's too late.

It's too late to stop now, Val.

- No, I-I'm fine.
- All right.

You having fun?

# Look at what the light
did now... #

It's too late, Val.

# Look at what the light
did now... #

My father
was born in Texas,

but raised on Native American
land in New Mexico.

When we were kids, he brought
my brothers and I there

to visit my grandfather's grave.

That day, something deep
in my spirit awoke

and New Mexico
became home to me.

Joanne agreed
to make it hers as well,

and we decided to build
a beautiful life there together.

This is the reason I'm here,

and it's the reason you're here.
- What?

My daddy, Gene Kilmer.

He spawned me now
some 28 years ago.

- Yeah, about that.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, we're
gonna go cut the cake, Pop.

Okay, I'll be with you.

ANDY and DAVID WILLIAMS:
# Love is touch #

# Touch is love #

# Love is reaching #

# Reaching love #

# Love is needing #

# To be loved. #

Okay.

He's freaked out and he said
he saw the bogeyman, okay?

So I took it away for him.
That's all.

I took it away.

That's all I'm saying.

Though I had starred
in a few films,

I was hardly walking
in Brando's footsteps.

The best character roles
were few and far between.

So I'd go out of my way
to make audition tapes

for directors
that I wanted to work with,

for roles that I wanted to play.

Marines are not allowed to die
without permission.

'Cause we are...

...government property.

I made multiple tapes
for Stanley Kubrick

when I heard he was making
Full Metal Jacket.

I'm gonna give you
about four takes

with some different voices.

I sure do like shooting people.

I sure do like shooting people.

I sure do like killing people.

I even flew 6,000 miles
to hand-deliver it in person.

I'm in England now for
a couple of days because I made

a film here last year
and I still have a ticket back.

And I thought
that I would come by and...

...see how you felt about this.

I also made a film
for Martin Scorsese,

where I played Henry Hill
around the time of Goodfellas.

The feds spent so much
money to hook me.

They had wiretaps,
surveillance, helicopters.

They had a list
a mile long for him.

I had a lot of money
out on the street to collect,

several scores to wrap up.

I mean, I was really scrambling
the last days there.

It was very dangerous.

Those attempts didn't work.

But when I heard they were
making a Doors movie,

not playing Jim
was not an option.

Snow peas, righteous.

# Give us a creed to believe #

# A night of lust, give us
trust in the night... #

I made an audition tape
where I sang the songs myself.

# Give of color, hundred hues #

# A rich mandala
for me and you... #

The tape impressed
the producers, and I was given

the character that I would live
in for the next year of my life.

Background action.

Come on!
- Come on, man. This isn't our scene, man.

These people are vampires.
Come on, man.

It's the four of us tonight.

Make the myths, man. Come on.

- Come on.
- Hey, don't leave.

Come on, don't let me down.

I don't know
what'll happen tonight.

Might be death.

I would watch videos
to study Jim's movements...

...and memorize them
so the way he moved

was the way I moved
at all times.

# Five to one, baby #

# One in five #

# No one here
gets out alive, now #

# You get yours, baby #

# I'll get mine #

# Gonna make it, baby,
if we try #

# Yeah. #

He wore
these leather pants for years,

so I wore them
as long as I could,

which was about a year.

For Joanne, my wife,
it was total hell.

Home was just
another place to rehearse.

She tried to be supportive, but

also just the music

over and over and over again.

# Country in your eyes #

# Arms that chain us,
eyes that lie #

# Break on through
to the other side... #

Jim had this aspiration to

capture this

fleeting

ethereal truth.

I think it's Yeats who said,

I'm paraphrasing, but

the idea is

you see a tree
and you observe a truth

about the tree.

You see a tree,

and you observe a truth
about the tree.

And you're hit with it...

And you're
hit with it...

...the magic of the tree.

...the magic
of the tree.

It's a spiritual thing

beyond the physical life-form
of the tree.

So, then you write and write

and write
about the form of the tree

and the life of the tree
and the spirit of it...

...till your own personality
is gone from the words.

# This is the end #

# Beautiful friend #

And when you're gone
from the poem,

then it's a poem.

# This is the end #

# My only friend #

# The end #

# It hurts to set you free #

# But you'll never
follow me... #

Part of you disappears

so that you can dance
with the spirit

of something else.

# Not to touch the earth #

# Not to see the sun #

# Nothing left to do
but run, run, run #

# Let's run #

# Let's run #

# House upon the hill #

# Moon is lying still #

# Shadows of the trees #

# Witnessing the wild breeze #

# Come on, baby, run with me #

# Let's run #

# Some outlaws lived #

# By the side of a lake #

# The minister's daughter's
in love with the snake #

# Who lives in a well
by the side of the road #

# Wake up, girl #

# We're almost home, yeah #

# I will get you #

# Soon #

# Soon, soon #

# I am the Lizard King #

# I can do anything. #

Or we could do one.

I see this

hole in my throat

and I wonder

whether people wonder

if I've had any fear of dying.

Because I obviously

am

sounding

much worse than I feel.

But it's an obstacle
obviously that

is, uh,

very present
with whoever sees me.

And

I have had fears

but none that have ever

been overwhelming

about my life,

because I

don't believe in death,

and my whole life I've

tried to see the world

as one

piece of life.

That's how
I understand it right;

when you pull back

from the planet, you see that

we're all one

life source.

MERCEDES
Hello?

- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hey.

You're not quite ready yet.

Almost.

Okay.

I'm going to come...

I'm going to come over
to you, right?

- Pick you up?
- Okay.

- All right.
- Bye.

It's a peach.

It's a peachy little bum.

What did you do?
It's all over your belly.

You dirty mate. Look.

Oh, my God.

You think you're funny,
don't you? -

Well, let's get this off, as well.
- Ew.

Ew.

Mercedes' first
over the shoulder.

Don't wake the child.

Yeah, you can do it.

We're just one big happy family,
aren't we, honey?

One small happy family.

- My trailer.
- You've arrived.

You're a... you're a pro.

In close.

Who's the real...?

See, what a historian
would say during the credits,

if you don't show a picture
of Wyatt Earp, it's what?

This Wyatt Earp
or this Wyatt Earp?

Which one is Memorex?

You be the judge.

You're out of focus.
You can't get that close.

Do you have
a macro lens on that thing?

Listen, conk.

- Listen, conky.
- I've been conked.

Lot of love
on this location.

Lot of love
in these tumbleweeds.

It's
an extremely unusual experience.

It's one we used to talk about

in the theater,
that you really want

an ensemble feeling
and all those things

that are rarely,
if ever, achieved.

Are you filming? Stay filming.
- Uh-huh.

Whoa!

Doctor's in.

I'll be your huckleberry.

Doc Holliday
was a highly educated aristocrat

and-and a dentist.

Really?

- Roll, Liz.
- We're rolling.

He was also dying
of tuberculosis

and lost everything, including
his practice, because of it.

Tough roles are when
the writing's not good,

and the writing was good.

Doc Holliday's
a very well-written character.

Five hundred.

Must be a peach of a hand.

So it was just a pleasure,
but it's all...

it's in the writing.

I saw Tombstone
as a love story between two men.

In the final scene,
Doc, who's dying,

tries to get Wyatt to leave him
and go live his life.

I got the art department
to fill my bed with ice

so I could lay on top of it.

I wanted to create a pain
for myself equal to the pain

Doc must have felt
in saying goodbye.

It was the best way
I could come up with

to do justice
to their beautiful friendship.

Live, Wyatt.

Live for me.

Wyatt, if you ever were
my friend,

if you ever had even
the slightest feeling for me,

leave now.

Leave now.

Please.

- You want to throw a tomahawk?
- Sure, why not?

Come on.

Hey!

Ready.

# Have you got a nickel?
'Cause I got a dime #

# Let's get together
and drink... #

I'll take a photo for you.

Oh, I got it. Ready to do this?

Yeah, you can go on in.
What's your name?

Steve.
- Steve. Oh, I got it. There we go.

Steve, this is Val.

Holy cow.

- This is for you.
- Howdy.

- How you doing?
- Not bad.

Hop in there. I'll get your photo.
- All right.

I enjoy your films.

Thank you so much.

Thunderheart.

Yeah.

Thank you very much, sir.

We're nerds,
so we play Magic: The Gathering.

It's a card game.

- So we made that for you.
- Thank you.

There's a Bible verse
on the back there for you.

Fantastic.

Val Kilmer "Chosen by God."

Thank you very much, sir.

One, two, three.

He blew my mind in South India.

- Val gets around.
- Yeah, man.

I blew his mind in South India.

Who's next?

Val Kilmer is here,
and we're gonna watch Tombstone

on this screen.

I always love it here

in Texas because

my father was born here.

Even though he passed on,

I always feel close by
when I come to Texas.

And, um...

and, um,

I'm having such
a great time here.

I'd like to thank everybody for

putting on such a great show.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Val Kilmer is here with us

for Tombstone in a Western town!

Sometimes

I feel so low
and I have the blues

really, really hard

about having to,

you know,
fly around the country.

I don't look great and

I'm selling basically
my old self, my old career.

For many people,

it's like the lowest thing
you can do is

talk about your old pictures
and sell photographs of...

of when you were Batman or

the Terminator.

I don't want to insult
any of the other actors

that fly around the world.

Five hundred.

Must be a peach of a hand.

But it enables me to

meet my fans and...

and what ends up happening is

I feel really grateful
rather than humiliated

because there's so many people.

Come on.

Come on, show.

Is everybody paying attention?

I will help you solve
the greatest riddle of all.

The mother of all riddles.

Who is... Batman?

You see him?

- See?
- Yeah.

- Oh.
- Whew. - He's pissed.

Fuck, look at that head, eh?
- Yeah.

I was in Africa
when I got a call from my agent,

who had been frantically trying
to get ahold of me.

He asked me how I'd feel
about being the next Batman.

I was in shock and disbelief,

mostly because I had just been
exploring a remote bat cave

and that's why
I was so hard to reach.

It was a sign.

Every boy dreams
of being Batman.

Batman is a superhero
without any superpowers.

Just a normal guy.

Some days, you just can't
get rid of a bomb.

But he does incredible things

using his own intelligence

and the amazing gadgets
he invents.

Every boy dreams of being Batman

because it actually is
possible to be him.

When I was in second grade,

our family was invited to
the set of the Batman TV show.

To this day,
one of my dearest memories

is that of my father
lifting me into the Batmobile.

By Hollywood standards,

Batman is
the ultimate leading role

and a dream come true.

I took the part
without even reading the script.

Michael Keaton has moved on.

Val Kilmer has moved into
the rubber body armor of Batman.

Mark.

But whatever
boyish excitement I had going in

was crushed by
the reality of the Batsuit.

When you're in it,
you can barely move

and people have to help you
stand up and sit down.

Poor Val would
have to put the mask on

and couldn't hear
when he had it on

and couldn't breathe properly.

You also can't hear anything.

And after a while,
people stop talking to you.

It's very isolating.

Do about an hour of acting,
and then you fall down...

hyperventilate
and need oxygen and water.

It was a struggle for me

to get a performance
past the suit,

and it was frustrating
until I realized that my role

in the film was just to show up
and stand where I was told to.

Actors like Tommy Lee Jones...

Ha! Our kind of day.

...had designed
this whole performance,

and so had Jim Carrey.

Riddle me this, riddle me that.

Was that over-the-top?
I can never tell.

It was just so huge.

I think it made no difference
what I was doing.

I tried to be like an

actor on a soap opera.

The way I would turn to Nicole.

Bat-Signal is not a beeper.

Well, I wish I could say
that my interest in you was

purely professional.

Go count how many times

I put my hands on my hips.

I don't know how
they come up with this

style of acting,

but they seem to go...

go to soap opera school.

"Why, why,
why would you say that?"

The day I wrapped Batman,

I jumped in the car and went
immediately to the set of Heat.

Compared to the massive
production of Batman,

Heat felt like an indie film.

Working with Al Pacino,

Robert De Niro

and director Michael Mann
was pure joy.

Remember Jimmy MacAwain
on the yard used to say,

"You want to be making moves
on the street?

"Have no attachments.

"Allow nothing
to be in your life

"that you cannot walk out on
in 30 seconds flat

if you spot the heat
around the corner."

Remember that?

For me, the sun rises
and sets with her, man.

Well, let's talk
about Batman now.

Now, this is kind of neat.
You're playing Batman.

Batman became
the number one movie of the year

with $183 million.

Val Kilmer is Batman.

Most of the time,
all you see is his lips,

so who would know anyway?

Hot entrance.

Batman Forever got mixed reviews

but was a commercial success.

They wanted to start
the next one immediately.

I turned it down.

I was already committed
to The Saint,

a remake of
a British spy thriller series

where I'd get to play
a character who dons

multiple personas and disguises.

It was like ten roles in one,
and I wanted to do that more.

What's that I see, Jack?

Batmobile!

- Is that mine, Daddy?
- Yeah!

Ready?

Are you all ready, Batman?

Quick, turn left.

That's this way. Turn, turn.

Yes, every boy
wants to be Batman.

They actually want to be him.

They don't necessarily
want to play him in a movie.

- Val, Val, Val, Val, Val.
- Val, Val, Val, Val Kilmer.

Is it possible to write "You
can be my wingman" on there?

Sorry, can you put
"Iceman" on that one?

Would you write
"You can be my wingman"?

"You can be my wingman"
on this one.

Can you put "Iceman" on it
as well, please, Val?

Can you put "You can be
my wingman anytime"

and then "Val Kilmer, Iceman"?

I wanna take a break.

You want to take a break anyway?
Okay.

- Yeah, my stomach...
- Okay, okay. All right. Let me...

- Hey, Kim?
- Yep.

Can we just finish
these last few people?

Want to lock it down,
if they would...

Yaseem, tell them
to hold the people.

Hold the people. Thank you.

Okay.

- I wanna lay down.
- Okay.

- Thank you.
- Hey, thank you so much.

So, Val, what do you want to do
with that guy's autos?

Testing for Fatman.

# Fatman... #

Wes Kilmer... coming in
the famous actor's home.

Wes Kilmer, KBIC News.

Goodbye.

Look, there's a fence!
How we gonna get out?!

Ha-ha. Push the button.

Okay.

He's back, he's back.

Cheer for Val Kilmer, please!

I'll take that ticket,
and then you move right down.

- Hope you're feeling better.
- Oh, he chose blue.

Thank you.

Thanks, Val. Much appreciated.

Thanks for coming back.

- Thank you, sir.
- Very good of you.

- You take care.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

You're an amazing Batman.

Thank you very much.
Really appreciate it.

- Okay.
- Thank you very much.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

I love you.

Last call for Val autographs!

Hi, Daddy.

Hello, Mercedes.

We were talking about
things that are scary,

and you said the only things
that you were afraid of

were your dreams.

Not many things scare me.

But one thing kind of is, um...

Scary.

It's not exactly scary

but one thing
that I'm concerned about.

I'm concerned

about making
a really beautiful home

for you and Jack

in New Mexico.

There's the river.

It's beautiful this morning.

# Me and my shadow #

# Love you more than life. #

Jezebel likes carrots a whole
lot more than James Brown.

And...

sometimes not...
I'm not afraid...

...but close to being afraid

of when I'm standing
on a high cliff

that I might fall.

# So I walk up on high #

# And I step to the edge #

# To see my world below... #

Marlon gets to video.

I'm gonna video.

# While the tears roll down #

# 'Cause it's the world
I know, oh #

# It's the world that I know. #

Is that one of
those brand-new ones?

Nice ones?
- Yeah, it's one of the brand-new ones.

If you could all just
scooch in a little.

Okay, thanks. If we can
clear the frame please.

- Umbrellas out.
- Wait, wait, wait.

Want everybody that's
not in costume off the set.

Let's all, let's all kiss.

The Island of Dr. Moreau
was my chance

to finally work
with Marlon Brando.

The movie was doomed
from the start.

Our first director, Richard
Stanley, who was talented

but had never directed
anything of this scale,

was replaced
after he started shooting

by the experienced
John Frankenheimer.

Frankenheimer, tasked
with getting a production

already weeks behind
under control,

was intent on finishing
the film as quickly as possible,

and was unwilling
to take the time

to explore Marlon's ideas.

When this became clear
to Marlon, he stopped trying

to inject his own genius
into the film.

This was devastating to me.

That's not Marlon.

He's not coming in today.

Did anybody tell you
that Marlon wasn't

- working today, David?
- No.

- No one told me, either.
- You don't notice.

- Can you tell it's not him?
- What?

- Can you tell it's not him?
- No, you can't even tell,

to quote John Frankenheimer.
What's the problem?

- You can't even tell.
- This guy's exactly like him.

What's your name?

- Norm.
- Norm.

You're rockin', Norm.

Marlon Brando's played by Norm.

Back! Back!

No! Douglas, no!

No! No!

He won't hurt us.

Can I help you in any way?

Um...

Maybe if I acted better?

No, that's not it.

Okay. Let me know

if there is anything
I can do for you.

- The writing.
- Writing.

Should we get together
and write?

Sophie, was I smoking in this?

Get those umbrellas
out of there.

- Let's go! Roll!
- Roll?

What do you need?
Tell me what you...

Speak English. Go.

Right. He won't let me get in.

You want shoes for the cast?
- Yes.

I have no shoes on.

Very observant of you.
This is blue.

- Remember, I saw that.
- I'm right over there.

Thanks for
your-your concern, Bill.

Have we discussed the blocking
or what happens in this scene?

- No.
- No. Did you say "no"?

- No.
- Yeah. Thank you.

The chance to make a great film

with my hero, slipping away.

And on top of everything,

the strain of our careers
and too much time apart

had taken its toll
on my marriage,

and I was served
divorce papers on set.

You know, John Frankenheimer
can say "action" and "cut"

all day long, and it will never
make him a director.

Action.

Okay. Uh,
this has just gone too far.

I can't do it.

If we're going to work this way.

Shut the video camera off.

Are we rehearsing?

We are about to rehearse.

Would you please
shut the video camera off?

No, because I'm in
a highly emotional state,

because you said earlier
to David and I

you were going
to leave this movie.

If this continues, I will not...

I do not see how I could
function under these conditions.

I'm supposed to be
doing creative work

and this is not conducive
to creating a good scene.

Well...

can I have a minute, because
I'm in an emotional state

and I won't be able
to read my lines.

By all means,
please have a minute.

I'll tell you what. When you
guys are ready to rehearse...

I'm ready to rehearse right now.

Shut the video camera off?

I need a witness
because of things you've said.

Things that I've said?

Yeah.

You've debated in front of
your two lead actors

on whether you will continue
to direct this film.

That puts me in a state of mind

not conducive to creating.

Please shut
the video camera off.

I will keep it on
until we're rehearsing.

¿Donde esta Marlon?

Uh, he's around the corner.

Thanks.

What's your earliest
childhood memory?

Gimme a shove.

Can you... Do you have memories
from before you could speak?

Big, big, big shove.

Yeah. That's good.

Ah, there we are.

This is a nice fade-out.

I have a legal right
to have my children

and use my best discretion.

Uh, we don't have anything
written in the agreement,

and I don't remember
saying that anyway.

If that's what
the court order says,

then that's what I'll do.

Well, the...
that happens every single time

we don't make separate time
and agree about the time.

I'm not saying you did it.

I'm saying we cannot do
a schedule in front of them.

And if you're willing
to do that,

you're willing to experience
conflict like you had.

I'm not willing
to experience it in my home

or in your home.

I'm not blowing off steam.
I'm speaking directly

to the children's best interest,
which is the quality of time

that they have
with both parents.

If you're unwilling
to negotiate with me,

then we have to negotiate
with someone else.

I'll lodge a legal complaint
with the sheriff's department

since we can't go
through the court

'cause it's the holidays
and no one's there,

that you're unwilling
to negotiate with me,

and someone else has to do it.

And I'll check out
what... what I have to do.

If I have to legally
bring them back by 6:00,

then I'll try to legally,
just like I did 15 times

in the last two years...

Enough!

Good morning.

Hi, Jack. Hi, Mercedes.

Happy Easter from New Mexico.

Look what I found...

in a cactus.

What a clever Easter Bunny.

A beanbag duck?

What are you doing
in New Mexico?

Oh, there's another one.

My name is Pinky.

Hi, Pinky.

Will you come with us
to California?

There's the river.

It's beautiful this morning.

Wish you were here.

It's really interesting
in acting,

where you do so many things
that are...

very final
about your personal life.

There's no turning back.

You say yes
and agree to do a film,

then it's-it's a... what they
call a "pay-or-play contract,"

and a lot of them have been
lawsuits through the years.

They become final
if you verbally agree.

And, uh...

...it's your, uh...

actual life
that you're agreeing to...

...forfeit.

It's one of the things that
they buy for all that money.

They-they actually buy your...

life for a period of time.

Your experience,
your opinions, your...

...soul in a way.

The Indians thought
that-that a photograph

or the image took away...

the soul, and it's...

...it sometimes feels like that.

All these stories about

how tough Val Kilmer,
who pulled out of Batman,

is to work with.

Spoiled and immature,

a perfectionist
obsessed with detail.

Stop it. Stop!

- Let that man alone!
- I'm guessing

that probably not much
of those things are true.

- None that I heard of.
- Yeah.

You're not difficult

- to work with?
- No, I care very much about

telling the story well.

I'm frustrated because what I
have to do isn't getting filmed

'cause the director
isn't able to bring it out.

Not very long ago, it mattered
if you knew how to act.

Smile through it, Val.
Smile through it, Val.

Now it actually is a deterrent.

Yeah, if you know how to act,

you know, you-you know, you-you
could be a problem actor.

Is there a problem?

Yeah. There's a problem.

You, 'cause you're dangerous.

You are a perfectionist.

You are an intense individual,
would you not say?

Val is his own man.
You understand?

The only thing
that I've obligated myself to

is to be, uh, the best

actor that I can be.

I didn't want to address
also being a politician.

You don't turn down Batman.

You know, you don't.

Val is a puzzle inside

a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

He sees deeply.

I think he was always right,
and sometimes it's convoluted.

Like, here it goes again.

Here's that thing.
You're the difficult guy.

No, he's not.

MAN Now collecting
one through 15 general boarding.

Keep in mind that you are going
to preboard the aircraft...

MAN
...service to Oakland.

My name is Matt. I'll be your
operations agent this afternoon.

Want to welcome you
to start lining up now, please.

A1 through 30 on your left.
A31 through 60 on your right.

If you have a boarding pass
with a B or C,

please stay seated
until I make that announcement.

The reason
I'm wearing an AZ hat

is that

I'm going to Arizona,

because

my mother passed on,

and

she, uh...

right now she doesn't have
anyone to cremate her.

Don't... don't get my dress.
Don't get me wet.

Val, stop it. Stop it!

Oh, Val.

That's not funny. Look.

That's not funny, and it's
not kind, and it's not nice.

And it's not
environmentally friendly.

Yo... you got me.

It glows in the dark.

It's very pretty.

Awesome.

These ones or the big ones?

I like those with that dress.

Okay, time to go.

Okay, let me just do
my eyelashes, then we can go.

Hi, Val.

I'm happy you're here.

Hey, boy.

There he goes.

Val.

Oh, lookee at you.

Lookee at you.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Val,
here's something for you.

This is for you.

Val.

Oh, Val.

No, no. Come here.

Come here. Sit. Sit.

See the camera?

I wrote something nice
last night all about her style.

Her hairdo and her jewelry...

they always popped.

I miss my mama.

But I had a vision

that she was so happy

with her youngest son.

The kind of acting that
I'm really interested in,

I haven't very... I haven't
done very much of in movies.

So it's a strange feeling,
because I can't really complain.

I'm very, very fortunate, and...

and, um, you...
you can't really discuss it

with other fellow actors,

because nobody has a job
in acting, so you can't...

you can't, uh,
complain about jobs

or, especially, successful jobs.

Then they just think you're
crazy or a pig or something.

So, uh,

it's-it's a difficult thing,
uh, trying to reconcile.

And the business changes
all the time, so...

But I-I don't have the kind
of doubts I did when I started.

And I'm in...
I'm still interested

in pursuing acting,
and it's-it's, uh,

fascinating studying people,
but, uh,

I-I don't think
I would let myself

get as worked up as I used to.

It's very hard
in the movie business

to do something different
on any level

without being on your own.

And so that's
what happened to me.

I just ended up in sort of
constant conflicts with people

that wanted me
to do commercial work.

I was looking for
a big American story to direct.

I came across

the story of Mark Twain
and Mary Baker Eddy.

I spent ten years writing
the screenplay on and off.

When I got close
to finishing the script,

I felt I needed
to understand the character

I was going to play in my movie.

I started writing
a one-man play.

I play the character
of Mark Twain,

who was arguably
America's greatest writer.

He was also
the first stand-up comedian.

I speak cow.

It's very hard to write
a good movie,

and I've been trying to write
a great movie.

Uh, I might even... I might
even go further than that,

say I'm trying to write
a classic.

In order to bring Twain
to life onstage,

I needed money and a lot of it.

And at the time, I was in
a lot of debt from the divorce,

and the economy had crashed.

The only thing I had
of significant value

was the 6,000 acres of land
I'd accumulated in New Mexico,

with the dream of one day
building an artist community.

It was going to be my legacy

that I passed on to my children
and their children.

I made the impossible choice

to sell the land
that was so dear to me

in order to pay off my debts

and pursue the role I believed
I was destined to play.

VAL
If a man picks up a cat

by the tail,
he learns something about life

that he cannot learn
in any other way.

Man is the only animal
that blushes,

or needs to.

Civilization is
the limitless multiplication

of unnecessary necessities.

If you had to pick a narrator
for the story of America,

you can't name...

a more qualified man, because...

he really understood everything.

Please forgive me
if you're having trouble

hearing me in the back.

I'm dead.

Please forgive me
if you're having trouble

hearing me in the back.

I'm dead.

# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh #

# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh #

# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh #

# Mama, take this badge
off of me #

# I can't use it anymore #

# It's getting dark,
too dark to see #

- All right.
- # I feel I'm knockin' #

# On heaven's door #

"The secret source of humor
ain't joy but sorrow."

# On heaven's door #

The secret source of humor
is not

joy but sorrow.

There ain't no laughter
in heaven.

- Bang!
- # Knock, knock, knockin' #

# On heaven's door #

# Knock, knock, knockin'
on heaven's door... #

Why is there no cat food
that's mouse-flavored?

You know the difference between

praying in the casino and
praying in church, don't you?

In the casino,

they really mean it.

# Knock, knock, knockin'
on heaven's door... #

What in the hell
am I doing out here?

Twain lost his river.

I lost my river.

I took a measureless pride

in being a steamboat captain.

He lost his daughters.

I lost my brother.

I stopped writing

my autobiography that day.

Twain had to go
on the road to pay his debts.

I'm on the road to pay my debts.

In a one-man show,

Kilmer takes on
the life of Mark Twain.

I can probably
self-finance the movie

in about three years
of doing the play,

so I'm out on the road now.

Are you gonna bring it
to New York, maybe Broadway?

Yes, yes. I've been
meeting producers here,

- and, uh, I don't have a...
- Yes!

Bring this to Broadway!

- I'll do it!
- Yes!

- I'll do it here.
- You must do it!

# Knock, knock, knockin'... #

What's the most important
question in the world?

Why are we here?

'Cause you paid 70 bucks. I...

When I...

was away, uh,
our youngest daughter,

our favorite daughter...

...Susy, died of a broken heart

because I was away too long
touring to pay my debts

because of my folly.

And my wife took ill
and she also passed.

I used my influence

to get our youngest daughter,
Jean,

released from the sanatorium.

My poor Ophelia...

...drowned in a bathtub in 1909.

My poor Ophelia

drowned in a bathtub in 1909,

the last year I suffered Earth.

How do you heal a broken heart?

What are the words
that heal a broken heart?

I know that's not the most
important question in the world,

but that's the ball and chain
around my memory tonight.

I was getting ready to put
on Citizen Twain in Nashville

when I lost my voice.

I postponed the show for what I
thought would be a month or two.

My voice didn't get better.

It got worse, and one day
I started coughing up blood

and was rushed to the hospital.

Through treatment and prayer,
I slowly recovered,

but how much I would regain
my voice remained unknown.

I wrestled with the possibility
of my career being over,

and fell into darkness.

If heaven exists, what would
you like to hear God say

when you arrive
at the pearly gates?

Well, I had this dream once.

And, uh...

this happened.

And she opened
what would be her arms,

that feeling, and enveloped me
and said, "I love you."

In the hospital,
I began to paint again.

The way we did
when we were kids.

When I finally got out,
I threw myself

into making art.

I found a studio big enough
for my ideas.

That studio has become
a sacred space

where artists gather
and collaborate...

...and help the next generation
of artists

in our community grow.

Here on Earth,

the distance
between heaven and hell

is the difference
between faith and doubt.

I have no doubt, for example,
my recent illness shut down

professional opportunities that
were not opportunities at all.

Healing is not born of vanity.

It is born of honesty.

Honesty is born of pure love.

And love is
the most divine healer,

the sweetest, holiest
and most effective.

So we're going out to Malibu

because of
my wonderful little church,

and

my members there,
I love them very much.

I've studied
all the major religions.

I've always been
interested in religions,

and

often when I meet someone,

I'll end up
talking about their faith.

I'll ask them.

You okay?

- I can't help it.
- That's not funny.

I'm a bastard.

- Not funny.
- And I love you.

Not funny.

It's very, very funny.

Malibu, six miles.

Oh, look at the ocean.

What would happen if
I went into this church service

and I came out
speaking perfectly well?

WOMAN
Thanks be to God

which giveth us the victory
through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Our master fully and finally
demonstrated divine science

in his victory over death
and the grave.

It's a very good lesson
for me to study

about victory over the grave.

I think we got time
for one more story, don't we?

I'm gonna tell you
one more story.

This is as humble
as I'm willing to get.

I've wanted to tell
a story about acting

for a very long time.

About truth.

And illusion.

VAL
My sermon's gonna be about

truth and illusion.

The truth is,

in order to find each character,

I've had to put
a little bit of me in them

and find a little bit
of them in me.

I've lived in the illusion

almost as much as
I've lived outside of it.

I have behaved poorly.

I have behaved bravely.

I have behaved bizarrely,
to some.

I deny none of this and have
no regrets because I've lost

and found parts of myself
that I never knew existed.

And I am blessed.

Action.

Let's just say
I was testing the bounds

of reality.

That's all. I was curious.

Like Erich von Stroheim
in the movies.

The man you love to hate.

It's meant to be ironic,

like courage wants to laugh.

But essentially,
it's a stupid situation.

I go out onstage
and howl for people.

O, vengeance!

What an ass am I.

In me, they see
exactly what they want to see.

Some say a lizard king,

whatever that means.

Some black-clad leather demon,
whatever that means.

But really,

I see myself as a...

sensitive, intelligent
human being...

...but with the soul of a clown.

Here's what I preach.

Do what you love to do
so well...

I'm thrilled. It excites me.

That's why working here
is so stimulating.

...that someone will
pay you wages for it.

And then sometimes
there is God so quickly.

Am I the conscience of America?

No, I leave that to my betters.

Perhaps I am the narrator.

Yes, that's it.

All you need is
ignorance and confidence,

and success is sure.

Don't let go
of your illusions though.

When they are gone,
you may still exist,

but you have ceased to live.

# One, two, three, four #

# I am a cinematographer #

# I am a cinematographer #

# Oh, I am #

# A cinematographer #

# I am a cinematographer #

# And I walked away #

# From New York City #

# And I walked away from
everything that's good #

# And I walked away
from everything I leaned on #

# Just to find #

# It was made of wood #

# Of wood #

# Wood #

# And I was
a big old bear once #

# And I was a big old bear
once #

# Oh, I was
a big old bear once #

# Yeah, I was a big old bear
once #

# And I walked away
from California #

# And I walked away from
everything that shone #

# And I walked away
from everything #

# I lived for just to find #

- Action!
- Running!

# Everything had grown #

# It had grown #

# Grown #

# And I am a cinematographer #

# I am a cinematographer #

# Oh, I am a cinematographer #

# I am a cinematographer #

# And if you were alone #

# You could walk away #

# From anywhere. #

Say adios.

- Adios.
- Adios.

Vaya con dios.

� bient�t.

Au revoir.

C'est la vie. Hasta ma�ana.