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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,016 --> 00:00:01,375 Who's up for Chinese checkers? 2 00:00:01,438 --> 00:00:03,164 Oh, half the marbles are missing. 3 00:00:03,219 --> 00:00:05,171 Everyone, spread out and find a suitable replacement 4 00:00:05,226 --> 00:00:06,434 for the red and white ones. 5 00:00:06,481 --> 00:00:08,265 And a suitable replacement for a pet in this house. 6 00:00:08,314 --> 00:00:11,377 Something snobby and purebred, with lots of health issues 7 00:00:11,417 --> 00:00:13,541 so it dies before I get bored with it. 8 00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:18,112 You hurt his feelings! 9 00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:19,580 Don't you have a heart? 10 00:00:19,682 --> 00:00:22,449 He does, and it's just covered under layers of snark. 11 00:00:23,486 --> 00:00:25,753 Taylor, it's game night. Do you want to join us? 12 00:00:25,821 --> 00:00:27,521 Don't be ridiculous. 13 00:00:27,590 --> 00:00:29,390 I'm going downtown with my friends. 14 00:00:29,458 --> 00:00:31,992 Have fun with your little games. 15 00:00:33,129 --> 00:00:35,529 I do not like what our nice, fun-loving Taylor has become 16 00:00:35,598 --> 00:00:37,598 since she started hanging out with these popular girls. 17 00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:39,400 This is the way she walks around school 18 00:00:39,502 --> 00:00:40,934 with her stuck-up friends... 19 00:00:42,638 --> 00:00:44,672 - Excellent pantomime work. - Mm-hmm. 20 00:00:48,944 --> 00:00:50,044 Spencer! 21 00:00:50,146 --> 00:00:51,812 I've got big news! 22 00:00:51,914 --> 00:00:53,947 Wait for it. 23 00:00:54,050 --> 00:00:55,415 Wait for it. 24 00:00:55,461 --> 00:00:57,169 Ta-da! 25 00:00:57,238 --> 00:00:59,672 Please tell me this has nothing to do with Viagra. 26 00:00:59,741 --> 00:01:04,276 No, my house-arrest ankle bracelet isn't beeping anymore. 27 00:01:04,345 --> 00:01:06,012 That's because I don't have one. 28 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:07,380 I'm a free man! 29 00:01:07,448 --> 00:01:08,814 Congratulations! 30 00:01:08,883 --> 00:01:10,316 Tomorrow we golf. You got clubs? 31 00:01:10,385 --> 00:01:11,584 No. 32 00:01:11,653 --> 00:01:13,519 I'm buying you clubs. Can I buy him clubs? 33 00:01:13,588 --> 00:01:15,321 - Um... - I'm buying you clubs! 34 00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:18,124 You know, you got a good kid here. 35 00:01:18,192 --> 00:01:20,059 A true friend, which is hard to find. 36 00:01:20,209 --> 00:01:21,942 Because when you're rich, 37 00:01:22,044 --> 00:01:24,411 people are always trying to get close to you. 38 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,181 Biggie called it... mo money, mo problems. 39 00:01:27,249 --> 00:01:28,549 Oliver, be ready. 40 00:01:28,617 --> 00:01:31,085 I got us a tee time... 9:00 a.m., Longshore. 41 00:01:31,153 --> 00:01:33,053 - You got golf shoes? - No. 42 00:01:33,122 --> 00:01:34,421 I'm buying you golf shoes. 43 00:01:34,490 --> 00:01:35,923 I'm buying him golf shoes! 44 00:01:36,058 --> 00:01:37,558 Ha-ha! 45 00:01:37,626 --> 00:01:39,560 You hear what he said? 46 00:01:39,628 --> 00:01:41,161 I'm a good kid. 47 00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:43,530 Yeah, I'm not buyin' it. 48 00:01:43,786 --> 00:01:46,548 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 49 00:01:50,573 --> 00:01:51,805 Hey, Taylor. You're home early. 50 00:01:51,907 --> 00:01:53,841 Something wrong? 51 00:01:53,943 --> 00:01:55,943 No! Why does something always have to be wrong? 52 00:01:56,045 --> 00:01:57,945 And why are you guys always in my business? 53 00:01:57,980 --> 00:01:59,313 I just want to be left alone! 54 00:01:59,415 --> 00:02:00,614 God!! 55 00:02:02,618 --> 00:02:03,884 Such a fun age. 56 00:02:03,986 --> 00:02:05,285 Come on, let's go talk to her. 57 00:02:05,387 --> 00:02:06,587 She said she wants to be left alone. 58 00:02:06,655 --> 00:02:08,388 I want to be left alone all the time, Greg, 59 00:02:08,491 --> 00:02:09,823 but nobody listens to me. 60 00:02:15,231 --> 00:02:16,563 So, what's going on? 61 00:02:16,665 --> 00:02:18,532 Everything is fine. 62 00:02:18,634 --> 00:02:19,600 It's perfect. 63 00:02:19,702 --> 00:02:21,168 I love my life, okay? 64 00:02:21,270 --> 00:02:23,137 The only reason why I'm getting misty right now 65 00:02:23,239 --> 00:02:24,455 is because I look at my life and I think, 66 00:02:24,504 --> 00:02:26,908 "Wow, it's so beautiful!" Now get out! 67 00:02:27,276 --> 00:02:29,009 Something is obviously wrong. 68 00:02:29,111 --> 00:02:31,912 And we're not leaving until we find out what it is. 69 00:02:31,948 --> 00:02:33,247 You won't understand! 70 00:02:33,349 --> 00:02:34,549 - Try us. - Mm-hmm. 71 00:02:36,352 --> 00:02:38,686 We were at Tom Garrity's house just hanging out, 72 00:02:38,755 --> 00:02:40,688 and I went to talk to Summit, Zola, and Londyn, 73 00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:42,557 but they kept ignoring me and walked away. 74 00:02:42,659 --> 00:02:44,959 So I followed them and I tried talking to them again, 75 00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:46,461 but they just kept ditching me. 76 00:02:46,529 --> 00:02:47,929 And then when I asked them why, 77 00:02:48,031 --> 00:02:50,431 Summit said they're reevaluating their friend group. 78 00:02:50,533 --> 00:02:51,799 What does that even mean? 79 00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:53,101 She's right, I don't understand. 80 00:02:53,203 --> 00:02:54,368 It means I'm out. 81 00:02:54,471 --> 00:02:55,770 I left my old friends to be with my new friends, 82 00:02:55,872 --> 00:02:57,338 and now my new friends don't want me. 83 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:58,406 I have no one. 84 00:02:58,475 --> 00:03:00,041 - You always have us. - Oh, Greg. 85 00:03:00,143 --> 00:03:01,642 Is that what you think of me? 86 00:03:01,745 --> 00:03:04,512 That I'm just some loser whose only friends are her parents? 87 00:03:04,614 --> 00:03:06,247 - No, I... - Taylor, I understand. 88 00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,615 Don't even! 89 00:03:07,684 --> 00:03:09,984 Maybe in the 1900s something like this happened to you. 90 00:03:10,053 --> 00:03:11,252 But it's different now. 91 00:03:11,354 --> 00:03:12,633 You don't know what I'm going through 92 00:03:12,719 --> 00:03:14,390 and don't say you do because you don't! 93 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,159 She stormed out of her own room. 94 00:03:18,194 --> 00:03:19,560 I wonder when she's gonna realize... 95 00:03:19,662 --> 00:03:21,062 Get out! 96 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,232 Reevaluate their friend group? 97 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:27,268 Hans Gruber, how'd you get up there? 98 00:03:27,303 --> 00:03:29,937 Greg, there's something I really need you to understand... 99 00:03:30,006 --> 00:03:32,082 from now on, that one's your pillow. 100 00:03:32,125 --> 00:03:33,090 I'll get him down. 101 00:03:33,145 --> 00:03:34,578 And then you'll change the sheets. 102 00:03:34,646 --> 00:03:35,979 - Yes. - Like, really change them. 103 00:03:36,114 --> 00:03:38,081 Actually get the elastic under the mattress 104 00:03:38,149 --> 00:03:39,148 so it doesn't slip out 105 00:03:39,217 --> 00:03:41,217 and I dream I'm caught in a fishing net. 106 00:03:41,286 --> 00:03:42,652 I got it. 107 00:03:42,754 --> 00:03:44,120 Hans Gruber, get down. 108 00:03:44,189 --> 00:03:45,722 Get down. Come on. 109 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:48,424 Come on. Good boy. Good boy. 110 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,026 Gruber. 111 00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:52,095 Gruber, get down. 112 00:03:52,163 --> 00:03:53,529 Come on, come on. 113 00:03:53,631 --> 00:03:54,764 Come on. 114 00:03:54,866 --> 00:03:56,399 - Mnh-mnh. - Come on. 115 00:03:56,468 --> 00:03:58,076 Come down. 116 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,607 Yeah, Greg, that's why the 400-pound farm animal 117 00:04:00,676 --> 00:04:02,843 won't get off our comforter... Enunciation. 118 00:04:04,246 --> 00:04:05,412 That pig has got to go. 119 00:04:05,514 --> 00:04:08,115 I know! But what do I do? I can't sell him for meat. 120 00:04:08,183 --> 00:04:09,616 Anna-Kat considers him family. 121 00:04:09,718 --> 00:04:11,385 I give to this charity that lets animals 122 00:04:11,453 --> 00:04:13,487 safely live out the rest of their lives on a farm. 123 00:04:13,555 --> 00:04:14,755 You could bring him there. 124 00:04:14,857 --> 00:04:16,790 Is that one of your "date a woman, dump her, 125 00:04:16,892 --> 00:04:17,958 but then support her charities 126 00:04:18,027 --> 00:04:19,426 so you don't seem like a monster" deals? 127 00:04:19,528 --> 00:04:21,061 Yes. But if they don't have a charity, 128 00:04:21,163 --> 00:04:22,529 then they get a Jo Malone candle. 129 00:04:22,631 --> 00:04:23,964 The big one with the three wicks. 130 00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:25,966 The farm sounds perfect. 131 00:04:26,035 --> 00:04:28,035 Now I just have to convince Anna-Kat and Greg. 132 00:04:28,103 --> 00:04:29,870 Just sneak it out in the middle of the night. 133 00:04:29,972 --> 00:04:31,972 That's what I did with Richard's mom when I moved her 134 00:04:32,074 --> 00:04:33,907 out of the guest room into a retirement home. 135 00:04:34,009 --> 00:04:35,509 She bit me, but it was worth it. 136 00:04:40,115 --> 00:04:43,550 That's them. The Blontourage. 137 00:04:43,619 --> 00:04:45,986 - The girls who kicked Taylor to the curb? - Mm-hmm. 138 00:04:46,055 --> 00:04:49,222 If you squint, you can almost see them doing porn in 10 years. 139 00:04:49,325 --> 00:04:50,857 I'm just gonna go say hi. 140 00:04:50,893 --> 00:04:52,759 Uh, you're just gonna go make things worse. 141 00:04:52,861 --> 00:04:54,528 - Or better! - But probably worse! 142 00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:55,829 Maybe better! 143 00:04:57,666 --> 00:04:59,733 - Girls. - Hi, Mrs. Otto. 144 00:04:59,768 --> 00:05:01,635 No. We're not doing that. This isn't a pleasant meeting. 145 00:05:01,704 --> 00:05:03,870 - I'll have... - She'll have nothing! 146 00:05:03,973 --> 00:05:05,205 What's your deal? 147 00:05:05,274 --> 00:05:09,109 My deal is that you blew off Taylor for no reason. 148 00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:12,245 Well, let me tell you something. 149 00:05:12,348 --> 00:05:14,982 I know you think you're all that and... 150 00:05:15,084 --> 00:05:16,283 Wait, wait. All what? 151 00:05:16,318 --> 00:05:19,219 - All that. - What's that mean? 152 00:05:19,321 --> 00:05:20,420 It's a saying. 153 00:05:20,522 --> 00:05:22,122 - No, it's not. - Yes, it is. 154 00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,057 It's short for "all that and a bag of chips." 155 00:05:24,159 --> 00:05:25,759 Chips are terrible for you. 156 00:05:25,861 --> 00:05:28,929 Yeah, even the healthy kind are like a bazillion calories. 157 00:05:29,031 --> 00:05:30,297 Totally. Like, one bag... 158 00:05:30,366 --> 00:05:33,533 Guys. We are not talking about bags of chips. 159 00:05:33,635 --> 00:05:36,937 We are talking about what bags of garbage you are. 160 00:05:37,973 --> 00:05:39,740 Incredible transition. 161 00:05:39,775 --> 00:05:43,210 Personally, for me, I'm glad you blew off my daughter 162 00:05:43,312 --> 00:05:45,779 because I don't want her ending up like you. 163 00:05:45,881 --> 00:05:49,116 Pretty on the outside but rotten on the inside. 164 00:05:49,184 --> 00:05:52,452 And eventually, that rottenness will come to the surface 165 00:05:52,554 --> 00:05:54,488 and no amount of concealer will hide 166 00:05:54,590 --> 00:05:56,857 what dried-out old hags you become. 167 00:05:56,959 --> 00:05:59,226 And when you look at your shriveled reflections 168 00:05:59,294 --> 00:06:01,161 in the mirror, remember, I called it. 169 00:06:04,266 --> 00:06:05,532 How'd that go? 170 00:06:05,634 --> 00:06:07,100 I made it better. 171 00:06:07,202 --> 00:06:08,201 Or worse. 172 00:06:08,270 --> 00:06:10,537 - I made it worse. - Yeah. 173 00:06:12,994 --> 00:06:14,619 Hans Gruber won't come down. 174 00:06:14,681 --> 00:06:16,439 Is he sick or depressed or something? 175 00:06:16,494 --> 00:06:17,843 Well... 176 00:06:17,921 --> 00:06:19,728 near as I can tell, he's suffering from 177 00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:22,030 "I should be living on a farm, but these stupid people 178 00:06:22,099 --> 00:06:24,538 brought me into their house and named me after a movie villain." 179 00:06:26,244 --> 00:06:28,377 That sounds like a fairly judgy condition. 180 00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,112 I think what Dr. Hatch is trying to say is, 181 00:06:30,198 --> 00:06:33,208 Hans Gruber belongs on a farm with other pigs. 182 00:06:34,712 --> 00:06:36,245 He's right. It's time. 183 00:06:36,347 --> 00:06:39,114 Now, how do we get him off the bed? 184 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:42,017 Stop feeding him. When he's hungry, he'll find his way down. 185 00:06:42,119 --> 00:06:45,087 You're giving away Hans Gruber? 186 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,289 I'm sorry, honey. He belongs with his own kind. 187 00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:48,824 I'm his own kind! 188 00:06:48,926 --> 00:06:50,759 Anna-Kat. 189 00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:52,561 Okay, I'm off to see some morons 190 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,730 that have a llama in their apartment. 191 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,500 Anna-Kat, Hans Gruber has to go to a farm. 192 00:06:58,602 --> 00:06:59,768 He's gotten too big. 193 00:06:59,803 --> 00:07:02,671 You didn't send Mom to a farm after she had Taylor! 194 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,541 What'd she say? 195 00:07:05,609 --> 00:07:08,310 She said she needs some time to process things. 196 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,046 Did you hear from Oliver? 197 00:07:11,115 --> 00:07:12,314 He texted me. 198 00:07:12,383 --> 00:07:14,950 They landed safely in New York and are grabbing a bite. 199 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,985 I can't believe our son took a helicopter to dinner 200 00:07:17,054 --> 00:07:18,687 with his 80-year-old billionaire friend. 201 00:07:18,756 --> 00:07:20,956 There is so much bad in that sentence, 202 00:07:21,025 --> 00:07:22,591 I am choosing to block it out. 203 00:07:26,964 --> 00:07:28,397 The vet was right. 204 00:07:28,465 --> 00:07:31,500 Don't feed them, and eventually they'll come down. 205 00:07:33,904 --> 00:07:35,137 What's up? 206 00:07:35,239 --> 00:07:36,505 Nothin'. 207 00:07:36,607 --> 00:07:37,639 You? 208 00:07:37,741 --> 00:07:39,207 Nothin'. 209 00:07:39,276 --> 00:07:40,375 Cool. 210 00:07:40,477 --> 00:07:42,344 Subzero over here. 211 00:07:49,253 --> 00:07:51,887 Do you think maybe we could play a game? 212 00:07:51,989 --> 00:07:53,388 Stay calm, Katie. 213 00:07:53,490 --> 00:07:55,657 Don't look too eager and scare her off. 214 00:07:55,793 --> 00:07:58,627 Give Greg the "play it cool" look. 215 00:07:58,696 --> 00:08:01,863 He never understands my looks. 216 00:08:01,932 --> 00:08:04,766 I'm up for playing a game. 217 00:08:04,868 --> 00:08:06,301 Just not the mystery one. 218 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,669 Mystery one? 219 00:08:07,705 --> 00:08:10,606 It's the one with the rope and the candlestick and the clues. 220 00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:12,307 Yeah, with the clues. What is that? 221 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,509 - Uhh. - It's on the tip of my tongue. 222 00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,778 - With the rooms. - Yeah, with the clues. 223 00:08:16,847 --> 00:08:18,680 It's Clue, guys. The game is Clue. 224 00:08:22,853 --> 00:08:25,454 Look who's off the bed and is hungry. 225 00:08:25,522 --> 00:08:27,889 Oh, Anna-Kat, let me help you with that. 226 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,426 Now that Taylor's been cast out, 227 00:08:31,495 --> 00:08:32,861 our sweet, fun-loving girl is back. 228 00:08:32,963 --> 00:08:35,330 I know. Hopefully she'll be alone and friendless forever. 229 00:08:40,504 --> 00:08:41,803 Hey, Mrs. Otto. 230 00:08:41,905 --> 00:08:44,439 Uhhh... What are you doing here? 231 00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:46,341 Well, I-I thought about what you said 232 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,110 about being rotten on the inside, 233 00:08:48,178 --> 00:08:50,312 and I want to make up with Taylor. 234 00:08:50,414 --> 00:08:51,680 That's very nice of you, 235 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:54,182 but she already has a new group of friends. 236 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,417 Who? 237 00:08:55,486 --> 00:09:00,322 Uh, Brenda, Brandon, Dylan, and Jennie Garth. 238 00:09:00,391 --> 00:09:02,591 You don't know them. They don't go to your school. 239 00:09:02,693 --> 00:09:05,861 Now she's too cool to talk to you. Ha! 240 00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:10,899 Who was at the door? 241 00:09:13,103 --> 00:09:15,203 - Pizza guy. - So where's the pizza? 242 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,772 I ate it. 243 00:09:16,874 --> 00:09:18,573 Okay. 244 00:09:18,609 --> 00:09:20,308 It's sweet she's so trusting. 245 00:09:20,344 --> 00:09:21,677 But it hurts my feelings 246 00:09:21,779 --> 00:09:23,979 that she thought I ate a whole pizza in 30 seconds. 247 00:09:24,081 --> 00:09:26,915 Mom! Dad! Come quick! You have to see this! 248 00:09:28,713 --> 00:09:30,713 _ 249 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,822 It's exactly like in "Charlotte's Web." 250 00:09:33,924 --> 00:09:35,590 Hans Gruber can spell. 251 00:09:35,726 --> 00:09:37,893 We can't give away a pig this special. 252 00:09:37,961 --> 00:09:40,128 Actually, in "Charlotte's Web," 253 00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:42,664 it was the spider who could spell, not the pig. 254 00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:43,832 So... 255 00:09:43,901 --> 00:09:45,867 I had to pick the one book you've read. 256 00:09:45,936 --> 00:09:47,903 Sweetie, Hans Gruber belongs on a farm. 257 00:09:47,971 --> 00:09:49,738 But I don't want him to go. 258 00:09:49,807 --> 00:09:51,039 I know. 259 00:09:51,141 --> 00:09:53,842 But if you love somebody, you need to let them grow. 260 00:09:53,944 --> 00:09:56,611 And sometimes that means letting them go. 261 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,214 And then you'll put my hair in a bow. 262 00:09:59,316 --> 00:10:01,149 Stop trying to Dr. Seuss me. 263 00:10:03,721 --> 00:10:04,953 Who was at the door earlier? 264 00:10:05,055 --> 00:10:07,122 I know you didn't eat a pizza in 30 seconds. 265 00:10:07,224 --> 00:10:08,264 Thank you. 266 00:10:08,312 --> 00:10:10,178 It was that Zola girl trying to make up with Taylor. 267 00:10:10,247 --> 00:10:11,155 What'd you tell her? 268 00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:12,452 I told her that Taylor was friends 269 00:10:12,491 --> 00:10:14,816 with the cast of "90210" and to never talk to her again. 270 00:10:14,885 --> 00:10:16,785 - Good. - Good? 271 00:10:16,854 --> 00:10:19,187 No lecture on morals? 272 00:10:19,289 --> 00:10:21,490 No "Oh, what a tangled web we weave... 273 00:10:21,592 --> 00:10:25,093 when we first... lie to our friend... 274 00:10:25,195 --> 00:10:26,561 Steve?" 275 00:10:28,198 --> 00:10:30,032 Would you like to hear the correct version, 276 00:10:30,134 --> 00:10:32,067 or shall I act like you nailed it and move on? 277 00:10:32,169 --> 00:10:33,201 Nailed it and move on. 278 00:10:33,303 --> 00:10:35,303 Okay. 279 00:10:35,406 --> 00:10:36,438 Well, hey, guys. 280 00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:37,873 We had the best day. 281 00:10:37,908 --> 00:10:39,541 We went golfing and then... 282 00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:42,811 Ran into some old acquaintances who weren't happy to see me. 283 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,846 They bet us $10,000 on a round of golf. 284 00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,014 We crushed them. 285 00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:48,116 You crushed them. He was amazing. 286 00:10:48,185 --> 00:10:50,018 At my prison, there wasn't much do but golf. 287 00:10:50,087 --> 00:10:51,687 You know, unless you were into sport fishing 288 00:10:51,789 --> 00:10:53,055 or hot air ballooning. 289 00:10:53,123 --> 00:10:54,823 We took our winnings and blew it all on dinner. 290 00:10:54,892 --> 00:10:58,994 How did you spend $10,000 on dinner? 291 00:10:59,063 --> 00:11:01,797 Dessert, plus tip. Adds up. 292 00:11:01,865 --> 00:11:05,300 Well, it's been a long day. I think I'll go home 293 00:11:05,402 --> 00:11:09,404 and have a Manhattan or two and drunk-dial Daryl Hannah. 294 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:10,572 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 295 00:11:10,674 --> 00:11:12,040 That guy is my hero. 296 00:11:12,109 --> 00:11:13,742 Isn't your father supposed to be your hero? 297 00:11:15,245 --> 00:11:16,812 Good night, Dad. 298 00:11:19,049 --> 00:11:20,849 I got up early and made you breakfast. 299 00:11:20,951 --> 00:11:21,950 Aww. 300 00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:24,319 - Mmm. - Good. 301 00:11:24,388 --> 00:11:25,320 It's good. 302 00:11:25,422 --> 00:11:26,822 It has kale in it. 303 00:11:26,890 --> 00:11:28,223 Don't ruin it for me. 304 00:11:28,292 --> 00:11:30,759 I thought later we can go for a walk down at the beach. 305 00:11:30,828 --> 00:11:33,061 We can bury Dad in the sand and then give him boobies. 306 00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:35,263 I'm gonna go see if there's a bucket. 307 00:11:36,366 --> 00:11:39,601 It's official... friendless Taylor just surpassed 308 00:11:39,636 --> 00:11:41,603 "five-month-old- sleeps-18-hours-a-day Taylor" 309 00:11:41,705 --> 00:11:43,438 as my favorite Taylor. 310 00:11:43,507 --> 00:11:45,741 Oh, it's her phone. 311 00:11:45,809 --> 00:11:48,076 It's one of the Blondetourage texting her. 312 00:11:48,145 --> 00:11:49,311 Zola. 313 00:11:49,379 --> 00:11:52,114 She's the one who always has that dumb look on her face. 314 00:11:52,182 --> 00:11:54,082 What'd she say? 315 00:11:54,184 --> 00:11:55,817 "Hey, Tay-Tay." Hate her. 316 00:11:55,919 --> 00:11:57,552 - Mm. - "Where are you? 317 00:11:57,654 --> 00:11:59,554 I stopped by your house last night to talk, 318 00:11:59,623 --> 00:12:01,223 but your parents said you were out. 319 00:12:01,291 --> 00:12:02,257 Let's hang." 320 00:12:02,359 --> 00:12:04,025 Hey, I also found a Frisbee! 321 00:12:04,094 --> 00:12:05,160 Oh, God. 322 00:12:08,098 --> 00:12:09,264 What are you doing? 323 00:12:09,366 --> 00:12:10,866 - Feeling up your mom. - Mm-hmm. 324 00:12:10,968 --> 00:12:12,801 With my phone? 325 00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:15,704 That's what I'm into, Taylor. Don't judge. 326 00:12:17,374 --> 00:12:20,342 Zola stopped by last night? And you didn't tell me? 327 00:12:20,444 --> 00:12:22,711 We didn't want you running back to those terrible girls. 328 00:12:22,813 --> 00:12:24,846 They have already showed you who they really are. 329 00:12:24,948 --> 00:12:26,648 They're the worst and not to be trusted. 330 00:12:26,717 --> 00:12:28,049 Kinda like my parents. 331 00:12:28,085 --> 00:12:29,284 Hey. We're trying to protect you. 332 00:12:29,386 --> 00:12:31,319 When your mom yelled at them at Stewart and Kingston's... 333 00:12:31,388 --> 00:12:32,821 - Oh, Greg. - You yelled at them? 334 00:12:32,923 --> 00:12:35,157 They were asking for it. Who doesn't eat potato chips? 335 00:12:35,225 --> 00:12:38,193 Are you insane?! You're ruining my life! 336 00:12:41,298 --> 00:12:42,697 She's right. 337 00:12:42,766 --> 00:12:44,866 We are no better than the Blondetourage. 338 00:12:44,935 --> 00:12:46,201 We're the Parentourage. 339 00:12:46,303 --> 00:12:47,235 Ottotourage. 340 00:12:47,337 --> 00:12:48,470 No need to one-up me, Greg. 341 00:12:48,572 --> 00:12:50,672 Hey, Spencer and I are going down to the marina 342 00:12:50,774 --> 00:12:52,841 this afternoon to test out yachts from Dubai. 343 00:12:52,943 --> 00:12:55,377 Is there a rule about wearing golf shoes yacht-shopping? 344 00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:58,346 Why am I asking you guys? 345 00:12:58,482 --> 00:13:01,082 I'm just setting you up to fail. 346 00:13:01,151 --> 00:13:03,685 I was never crazy about Spencer's influence on Oliver, 347 00:13:03,787 --> 00:13:06,421 but now that he's mobile, it's going to get worse. 348 00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:09,191 I am going to go over there and lay down the law. 349 00:13:15,532 --> 00:13:16,765 Hi, Spencer. 350 00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,500 I rang the bell and no one answered, 351 00:13:18,602 --> 00:13:20,168 so I came around the side. 352 00:13:20,270 --> 00:13:25,173 Oliver thinks the world of you. 353 00:13:25,275 --> 00:13:27,642 But he is an impressionable kid, 354 00:13:27,711 --> 00:13:32,280 and, well, we're not helicopter people. 355 00:13:32,349 --> 00:13:33,949 You know, Spencer? 356 00:13:39,690 --> 00:13:41,456 Spencer? 357 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,801 Oh, my God. 358 00:13:59,109 --> 00:14:01,243 Oh, Spencer. 359 00:14:19,105 --> 00:14:20,971 Oliver, we need to talk to you. 360 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,474 Listen, I need to go yacht shopping with Spencer 361 00:14:23,543 --> 00:14:25,075 to complete the cycle. 362 00:14:25,144 --> 00:14:26,410 You look confused. 363 00:14:26,479 --> 00:14:28,245 The cycle consists of the big four... 364 00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:30,448 mansion, Ferrari, 365 00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:31,949 plane, yacht. 366 00:14:32,051 --> 00:14:32,983 Oliver... 367 00:14:33,052 --> 00:14:34,785 I know, I know. I'm a douchebag. 368 00:14:34,854 --> 00:14:36,387 It's not that. 369 00:14:36,489 --> 00:14:38,956 Please. We need you to sit down. 370 00:14:39,025 --> 00:14:40,191 It's about Spencer. 371 00:14:40,259 --> 00:14:41,525 What about Spencer? 372 00:14:43,663 --> 00:14:47,832 Sweetie, I am so sorry to tell you this. 373 00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:49,266 Tell me what? 374 00:14:49,368 --> 00:14:51,202 Spencer... 375 00:14:54,607 --> 00:14:56,006 ...passed away today. 376 00:14:56,075 --> 00:14:58,609 What are you talking about? He was just here. 377 00:14:58,678 --> 00:15:00,644 He was perfectly fine yesterday. 378 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:04,615 I know it didn't seem like he was an old guy, but he was. 379 00:15:04,684 --> 00:15:08,719 The paramedics said his heart just stopped. 380 00:15:08,788 --> 00:15:12,122 He died peacefully, lying by his pool. 381 00:15:12,191 --> 00:15:15,326 It's okay, honey. We're here for you. 382 00:15:15,428 --> 00:15:16,494 I'm fine. 383 00:15:16,562 --> 00:15:18,896 I know he was your friend. 384 00:15:18,998 --> 00:15:21,732 And it is okay to be upset. 385 00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:23,901 Good to know. But you're right. 386 00:15:23,970 --> 00:15:26,437 He wasn't young and stuff happens. 387 00:15:26,506 --> 00:15:29,540 But he died rich. That's the dream, right? 388 00:15:29,642 --> 00:15:32,209 I got to go cancel the yacht guy. 389 00:15:35,348 --> 00:15:38,015 What was that? He didn't even cry. 390 00:15:38,117 --> 00:15:39,884 His voice didn't even crack. 391 00:15:39,986 --> 00:15:41,318 Maybe he's in shock? 392 00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:43,320 I'm sure it'll set in eventually. 393 00:15:43,422 --> 00:15:45,022 What if it doesn't? 394 00:15:45,124 --> 00:15:48,158 Then we make him watch Pixar movies until he feels something. 395 00:15:50,263 --> 00:15:52,062 Honey, don't worry. 396 00:15:52,098 --> 00:15:54,498 On the farm, there's a lot of room for him to run around. 397 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,001 He'll have friends and be free. 398 00:15:57,069 --> 00:15:59,370 Yeah, free to be a bag of pork rinds. 399 00:16:00,873 --> 00:16:03,541 What happened to, "it'll set in eventually"? 400 00:16:03,643 --> 00:16:05,709 Oliver just has issues with happiness. 401 00:16:05,811 --> 00:16:07,311 He has trouble with empathy, 402 00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:09,313 and he's currently showing no signs of grief. 403 00:16:09,348 --> 00:16:12,716 You realize that is the textbook definition of a psychopath. 404 00:16:12,818 --> 00:16:14,785 But he's not torturing animals. 405 00:16:14,887 --> 00:16:17,087 You're right. How are we so blessed? 406 00:16:25,264 --> 00:16:28,165 Look. He already made friends. 407 00:16:28,267 --> 00:16:30,067 Yeah. Pig friends. 408 00:16:30,169 --> 00:16:31,468 He looks pretty happy. 409 00:16:31,537 --> 00:16:33,370 - Mm-hmm. - He does, doesn't he? 410 00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:36,507 Okay, we've been here long enough. 411 00:16:36,609 --> 00:16:39,009 Just say goodbye and we can get on with our lives. 412 00:16:39,111 --> 00:16:41,712 Come on. 413 00:16:42,882 --> 00:16:45,783 Hans Gruber, I'm gonna miss you, big guy. 414 00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:48,185 ♪ Me and you, and you and me ♪ 415 00:16:48,254 --> 00:16:51,722 ♪ No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be ♪ 416 00:16:51,791 --> 00:16:53,824 Yep. That was our jam. 417 00:16:54,994 --> 00:16:56,660 Bye, Hans. 418 00:16:56,729 --> 00:16:59,296 I know we didn't start out the best of friends, 419 00:16:59,365 --> 00:17:00,764 but you grew on me. 420 00:17:00,866 --> 00:17:03,133 The night I ate all those Girl Scout Cookies, 421 00:17:03,202 --> 00:17:05,970 I looked over and saw you chewing on a used coffee filter. 422 00:17:06,038 --> 00:17:08,973 I feel like you did it to make me feel better about myself. 423 00:17:09,041 --> 00:17:11,909 And it worked, so thank you. 424 00:17:16,916 --> 00:17:18,482 Goodbye, Hans Gruber. 425 00:17:18,551 --> 00:17:20,117 At least you can make friends here 426 00:17:20,219 --> 00:17:21,552 without your parents butting in 427 00:17:21,621 --> 00:17:23,253 and deciding who's best for you. 428 00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:30,094 So this is it. When Daddy brought you home, 429 00:17:30,129 --> 00:17:32,529 you got a second chance at life, and I got a chance 430 00:17:32,598 --> 00:17:35,111 to know what real friendship is all about. 431 00:17:36,252 --> 00:17:38,902 I'm gonna miss your snorts and your nose kisses. 432 00:17:38,938 --> 00:17:42,072 I'm gonna miss playing fetch with Daddy's hairbrush. 433 00:17:42,141 --> 00:17:44,141 - What did she just say? - Shh. 434 00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:46,243 Be a good pig. 435 00:17:46,312 --> 00:17:48,879 And I'll be back to visit before you know it. 436 00:17:55,721 --> 00:17:58,355 You did good, baby. 437 00:17:58,424 --> 00:18:00,691 I'm spent. Let's go. 438 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,526 Wait. Oliver. 439 00:18:02,628 --> 00:18:04,595 Aren't you going to say goodbye? 440 00:18:06,198 --> 00:18:08,432 Fine. 441 00:18:10,069 --> 00:18:11,935 Hey. 442 00:18:12,038 --> 00:18:14,304 Take it easy, pig. 443 00:18:14,407 --> 00:18:17,775 Oliver, you're never going to see him again. 444 00:18:17,877 --> 00:18:20,778 Okay. 445 00:18:22,715 --> 00:18:24,782 I guess she's right. 446 00:18:24,850 --> 00:18:27,051 I'm not gonna see you again. 447 00:18:29,955 --> 00:18:31,855 But that's life. 448 00:18:36,762 --> 00:18:38,629 I just want you to know... 449 00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:42,700 ...meeting you was one of the best things 450 00:18:42,768 --> 00:18:44,134 that's ever happened to me. 451 00:18:44,236 --> 00:18:46,036 I'm sorry I never told you that. 452 00:18:46,105 --> 00:18:48,772 I'm just... 453 00:18:50,009 --> 00:18:52,443 The thing is, 454 00:18:52,545 --> 00:18:55,212 I feel like I just got to know you, 455 00:18:55,281 --> 00:18:56,914 and now you're gone. 456 00:18:58,984 --> 00:19:00,451 It's not fair! 457 00:19:02,588 --> 00:19:04,354 I know, baby. 458 00:19:04,457 --> 00:19:05,422 I know. 459 00:19:07,393 --> 00:19:10,994 Oh, my sweet boy. 460 00:19:25,644 --> 00:19:27,978 It was a good idea to play Monopoly in honor of Spencer. 461 00:19:28,047 --> 00:19:30,214 Yeah, we would've caught him sneaking money into his pocket, 462 00:19:30,316 --> 00:19:31,982 and when we called him on it he would've gone... 463 00:19:32,084 --> 00:19:33,784 "Swiss bank account, ha-ha!" 464 00:19:35,988 --> 00:19:37,121 Room for one more? 465 00:19:37,189 --> 00:19:39,089 I thought you were going out with the Blondetourage. 466 00:19:39,158 --> 00:19:41,425 They were supposed to pick me up, but they blew me off. 467 00:19:41,527 --> 00:19:43,494 I saw on Snapchat they're already at the party. 468 00:19:43,596 --> 00:19:45,395 Those girls are the worst. 469 00:19:45,498 --> 00:19:46,830 - Mm-hmm. - I was so stupid. 470 00:19:46,932 --> 00:19:48,632 I should've never gone back with them. 471 00:19:48,734 --> 00:19:50,434 You were right. 472 00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:53,570 Sometimes that happens. 473 00:19:53,672 --> 00:19:55,372 Now come on and sit down. 474 00:19:55,474 --> 00:19:58,275 You can either be a button or a Skittle. 475 00:20:01,413 --> 00:20:02,813 You're the button. 476 00:20:04,817 --> 00:20:06,494 - Yes! - Yeah! 477 00:20:07,659 --> 00:20:09,494 Gotta pay up. 478 00:20:11,917 --> 00:20:13,783 Goodnight, sweetheart. 479 00:20:13,885 --> 00:20:15,151 Mama? 480 00:20:15,253 --> 00:20:17,120 You're not gonna die soon, are you? 481 00:20:19,224 --> 00:20:24,211 I am not gonna die for a very, very long time. 482 00:20:24,531 --> 00:20:26,197 But you will someday. 483 00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:29,036 Yes. But by the time that happens, 484 00:20:29,138 --> 00:20:31,105 you will be married, with kids, 485 00:20:31,207 --> 00:20:33,174 and I will be living above your garage 486 00:20:33,276 --> 00:20:36,064 spilling popcorn on your couch and bugging you 487 00:20:36,095 --> 00:20:37,930 that you don't spend enough time with me 488 00:20:37,978 --> 00:20:40,211 even though you spend all your time with me, 489 00:20:40,313 --> 00:20:43,915 and you'll be like, "When is she gonna die already?" 490 00:20:44,017 --> 00:20:45,183 Thanks, Mama. 491 00:20:45,218 --> 00:20:48,219 You always know what to say to make me feel better. 492 00:20:53,721 --> 00:20:58,721 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 35603

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