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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:16,913 # Leo and Max, up off our backs # 2 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:20,181 # Back on the great white way # 3 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:24,748 # Leo and Max, back on the tracks # 4 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,487 # We're back on top to stay. # 5 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,859 Okay, that's enough. Larry! 6 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:32,763 You've been doing your homework. 7 00:00:32,799 --> 00:00:34,426 - I'm all astonishment. - Really?! 8 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:36,526 It is fantastic, fierce, absolutely fierce. 9 00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,264 - Was it fierce? - Yes, it was fierce. 10 00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:40,295 - Really fierce? - Really fierce. 11 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,774 - My problem child no longer. - How did, uh... 12 00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:44,470 I mean, was I there too, or? 13 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,308 Yeah yeah, you were doing the steps. 14 00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:48,906 Um, a little bit late on the pas de bourr�e 15 00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:51,439 which then makes you late for the hitch-kick. 16 00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:54,817 Pas de bour�e's are really tough. Pas de bourr�e's are the toughest thing. 17 00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:57,254 It'll get easier. Yeah. 18 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,815 But, oh my God, the difference is just astonishing. 19 00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:02,794 - I don't even think about it anymore. - Of course not. 20 00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:04,888 - That's what I told you would happen. - Yeah. 21 00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:07,832 - 'Cause it's in the muscle memory now. - Hey... 22 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:10,427 - Michael, too bad you can't see. - Tell me about it. 23 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,563 - It was great. - All right, thank you. 24 00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:14,835 - Great. Okay. - In a minute. Okay. 25 00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:20,369 - Hey. - Hey. 26 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,074 Don't let that pas de bourr�e stuff... 27 00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,481 Oh no, I'm not worried about it. I mean, I'll get it. 28 00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:27,543 If you wanna do any extra work on that... 29 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:30,454 - You wanna continue? - Oh, I can't today. I'm meeting my dad. 30 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,287 But, uh, tomorrow would be great. 31 00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:35,021 - Oh, okay. Your dad, huh? - Yeah. 32 00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:36,653 - Oh, he lives here? - Yeah. 33 00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:38,027 - No kidding? Wow. - Yeah. 34 00:01:38,064 --> 00:01:40,157 What does he do? 35 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,465 Um, you know Health-Glo? 36 00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:45,903 - The mixed nuts? - Yeah, I've seen that. 37 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,464 - Absolutely. That's his? - They're packages of... 38 00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:51,375 That's him. My dad is Health-Glo. He started that when he was, 39 00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:53,811 like, I don't know, right out of college or something. 40 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:57,715 You know what? I get ideas all the time about mixed nut packages. 41 00:01:57,750 --> 00:02:00,184 Like, I'll see a mixed nut package, I'll think, 42 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:03,621 what would I want to put in a mixed nut? I have my own ideas about that. 43 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:06,921 Maybe I could pitch some... some ideas to your dad. How would that be? 44 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,793 If I said I want to combine a pecan 45 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:12,627 and a blueberry, you know? 46 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,997 - Yeah. - And a dried cherry, 47 00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:17,730 and maybe a, uh, a filbert or something? 48 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:21,137 You know, it's kind of like everyone has their idea 49 00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:23,608 of what would be the best combo. 50 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,544 Just pitching... you know how it is. Come on, you must get 51 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:30,675 people on the street come up and pitch you story ideas and stuff. 52 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,618 It's just... you know what, stay in your element. 53 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,213 Yeah. But I do have some good ideas. 54 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:39,225 - I'm sure you do. - Hey, 9:00 A.M. tomorrow, guys. 55 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:40,692 - Okay. - Oh, okay. 56 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,354 I'm gonna go get a snack. 57 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:44,556 - Snack? I'll go with you. - Yeah. Oh, great. 58 00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:48,761 You and David are so good together. I'm so happy. 59 00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:50,962 - Love him, love that guy. - Oh God. 60 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,767 Your chemistry together is fierce. 61 00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:55,035 - It is fierce. - Absolutely fierce, totally. 62 00:02:55,074 --> 00:02:57,133 - It's fierce. - Ah, so much better than Ben, 63 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,941 - don't you think? - Ben was so bossy. 64 00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:02,345 Yeah, you know he had that kind of entitled attitude. 65 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:06,045 - I don't care for it at all. - Totally, I know. 66 00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:09,077 Oh my God, my friend Anthony was supposed to come to rehearsal. 67 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,181 That's right, and he didn't show up. 68 00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,385 Oh, I'm so worried about him. He's a doctor, 69 00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:15,417 he's gorgeous, he's smart, obviously, 70 00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:17,952 and he's single now... he just had a horrible break up. 71 00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:20,659 So I'm kind of looking for somebody to match him up with now. 72 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,429 - Is he good looking? - Gorgeous. 73 00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:23,992 # Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba # 74 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,972 # Pirate's Booty, Pirate's Booty... # 75 00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:29,167 You're embarrassing me. Stop it, no. 76 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,973 - I can't have Pirate's Booty? - No, but you can have a pear. 77 00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:33,774 - Hey! - What? 78 00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:35,713 Look at this, Health-Glo. 79 00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:37,875 - Those are Schwimmer's dad's nuts. - Yeah. 80 00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:40,579 Yes, let's check these out. 81 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,349 - Good stats. - Look at this. 82 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,288 There's only four cashews in here. 83 00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:47,054 - The numbers are good. - Look, they're all the same. 84 00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:50,256 - This one's got four, three. - That's probably a mistake. 85 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:53,288 The whole cashew-raisin balance is askew. 86 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,131 - It's awful. - There's gotta be more cashews. 87 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,400 - Absolutely. - Schwimmer's dad's pulling a fast one. 88 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,999 - All right, well. - You can eat two packages of them. 89 00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:05,340 Fine, two packages. You know what? I gotta get out of this place. 90 00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:08,040 - I gotta get to my office. - Okay. 91 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,748 # Back on the great white way. # 92 00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,722 Hey, Broadway. 93 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,782 - How was rehearsal? - It was good. 94 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,350 - Yeah? - Yeah. 95 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,624 - Schwimmer's great. - Is he great? 96 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,153 - He's fierce. - Is he? 97 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,496 - Yes. - Look at you with the dancing terms. 98 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:30,127 I'm glad it's going well. 99 00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:33,468 - Yeah, it's going great. - I got you a something to say thank you 100 00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,167 for those "Tonight Show" tickets. 101 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:38,939 - You didn't have to do that. - My mom had the best time. 102 00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:41,344 - What do we got? - Just a little thing. 103 00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,315 Oh, a picture frame. Thank you. 104 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:46,045 I didn't know what to get and Cheryl said it might be nice. 105 00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:49,577 - Put a glamour shot of her on the desk. - Is that what she suggested? 106 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,817 And the dental hygienist called. 107 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:54,622 - She said please call when you get in. - Dental hygienist? 108 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,390 Hm, I wonder what she wants. 109 00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:58,761 - I just saw her last week. - Mm-hmm. 110 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,561 Well. 111 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,535 Get together? You and me? 112 00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:05,901 - Really? - Am I being too forward? 113 00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:08,907 'Cause, when you were at the office, 114 00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:10,465 you gave me the tongue sign. 115 00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:12,808 Tongue sign? Pfft! 116 00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:16,474 I was just really trying to get some cotton out of my mouth. 117 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,818 So, uh, I don't get it. Why me? 118 00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:23,379 I don't know. You remind me of my college history teacher. 119 00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:25,618 Was he an avuncular bald Jew? 120 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:28,786 Larry, I was... oh, I'm sorry. 121 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,524 Um, you left your script at the rehearsal. 122 00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,794 - I was in the area. - Thank you so much. 123 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,324 - So I can leave this here? - Put it down over there. 124 00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,599 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 125 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:51,244 - Hello? - So where were we? 126 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,218 She calls me just out of the blue. 127 00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:58,189 Out of the blue. It's all set up. 128 00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:01,785 It's all set up for next Thursday. 129 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,352 Wow. 130 00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:06,260 Can I do this? Is it wrong? 131 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:09,996 You'll never get another opportunity like this for the rest of your life. 132 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:13,267 You have to do this. It's a gift from your wife. She wants you to do it. 133 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,001 It's my 10th anniversary present. 134 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,169 It's your 10th anniversary present. You have to do it. 135 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,736 Oh, I hope I can do it. 136 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,214 - She's fierce. - Okay. 137 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:25,444 At first I thought it was my imagination, 138 00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:27,146 but you're talking really gay. 139 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,886 - No no no, really gay. - Get out of here. 140 00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:33,255 Fierce? Where does fierce come from? 141 00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:35,192 And everything is this and that. 142 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:38,493 - What do you think? - Steve the choreographer says it. 143 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:41,762 Steve the choreographer... you been spending a lot of time with him? 144 00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:45,532 - I probably picked up some mannerisms. - Some? All! You're him! 145 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,334 - What? - You're him. 146 00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:49,671 You've become Steve the gay choreographer. 147 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,574 - It's not that bad. - No, it's that bad. 148 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:54,171 At first I thought, no no no, then..."fierce!" 149 00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:58,817 - Okay. - What's going on with your locker? 150 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:01,251 - What? - It's a pigsty, man. 151 00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,482 - So what? - It's decorum. Have respect. 152 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,855 What are you doing throwing all that shit on the ground? 153 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,450 - Mind your own business. - Hey, Norm. 154 00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:09,484 - Hey, Jeff. - Hey, Norm. 155 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:12,589 - Hello, Larry. - Norm, you should've seen rehearsals. 156 00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,862 They're really coming along. 157 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,698 Oh, good. Mel told me. 158 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:20,365 Hey, I forgot to ask you, wanna play golf on Saturday 159 00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:22,033 - with Marty Funkhouser? - Sure. 160 00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:25,168 I don't think you'll be playing golf with Marty Funkhouser this Saturday. 161 00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:28,044 - Why? - You know Leo his father? 162 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,878 - Yeah. - We lost him yesterday. 163 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:34,182 - Hodgkin's, real bad. - Oh. 164 00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,220 I thought he had the good Hodgkin's. 165 00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:39,884 - No such thing as good Hodgkin's. - Yes, there is. 166 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,053 How do you know? What's your proof? 167 00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:43,686 I'm gonna tell you how I know, okay? 168 00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:45,253 I used to watch "Party of Five"... 169 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,198 "Party of Five," right there. 170 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:51,101 Charlie, the orphan son, the oldest one, he had good Hodgkin's. 171 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:54,470 I wouldn't be going around quoting good Hodgkin's based on "Party of Five." 172 00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,941 - Just me. - Okay, fine. 173 00:07:58,444 --> 00:08:00,036 - Half off. - Really? 174 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:02,138 - Here you go, guys. - What a deal. 175 00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:04,775 - I know. - You guys got a nice day. 176 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,752 - Thank you, Sven. - You're welcome. 177 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,654 All right. What is that? Is that Swedish, Sven? 178 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,521 It's Norwegian. 179 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:18,628 I'm sorry, I thought Sven was a Swedish name. 180 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,859 It's not. 'Cause I don't look Swedish, do I? 181 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,993 It's a big difference. 182 00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:25,367 Apparently. What's the difference, may I ask? 183 00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:29,864 Culture, looks, names, history, food, dancing. 184 00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:32,241 Okay okay, sorry, honest mistake. 185 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,307 Are Swedes touchy if you refer to them as Norwegians? 186 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,250 - Why don't you ask a Swede? - Yeah, maybe I will. 187 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:44,089 - Hey. - Hi. 188 00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:47,581 - Hey, fancy-pants. - Oh yeah, I gotta go to a funeral. 189 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:51,085 - Uh, oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah, it's a guy I knew. 190 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:53,792 - Are you okay to move and stuff? - Yeah yeah yeah yeah. 191 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:57,064 - I was in this store a few days ago. - Yeah? 192 00:08:57,103 --> 00:09:00,595 And, uh, I saw a bag of your dad's cashew-raisins. 193 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,437 Oh, good good, did you get it? 194 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,705 Yeah. He's kind of, uh... 195 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:07,736 he's kind of skimping on the cashews a little bit. 196 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,407 Uh, what do you mean? 197 00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:12,781 There's like four cashews in a whole bag, you know? 198 00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:16,185 - Um... - Here look. I'll show you. 199 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,520 See? 200 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,186 Wow, you... you saved a bag to show me. 201 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,390 I didn't save it. I'm going to the funeral, I need a snack actually. 202 00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,694 They're very good. They're delicious cashews, 203 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:29,428 but would it kill him to put three more cashews in there? 204 00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:32,699 You know what it is? I mean, the cashews are expensive, first of all. 205 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:36,868 Um, there's a... you know there's a shortage right now. 206 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:39,207 - Cashew shortage? - It's for the last several... 207 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,442 - actually, several years. - I never read about a cashew shortage. 208 00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:44,506 That's because you're not in the industry. 209 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:46,950 - Can I give him a little advice? - Please. 210 00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:50,478 I would call it raisins. 211 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:53,651 And then let people be surprised by the cashews. 212 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,718 You're not serious, are you? 213 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:58,491 I am, yeah. It's better than being disappointed 214 00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,999 by buying something called cashew-raisins. 215 00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:03,831 We could put more in there, but they'd charge you a lot more. 216 00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:06,963 That's the balance. We wanted to make an affordable snack. 217 00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:09,907 - An affordable snack. - Give me three more cashews in here, 218 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,809 I'll be a happy man. Then I think you got the right ratio. 219 00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:15,609 That's all. No big deal. 220 00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:18,947 Should we just rehearse? Can we get started? 221 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,214 Hey. 222 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,224 Hey. 223 00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:29,750 Look at this. Letter from the club. 224 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,854 I didn't get one. 225 00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:35,128 - Having a dirty locker. - You're kidding me?! 226 00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:37,499 If I don't clean it, they're gonna suspend me. 227 00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:41,233 - You believe this bullshit? - Wow, how do you think they found out? 228 00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:44,299 - Norm. - Why would he do something like that? 229 00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:46,538 - He hates me. - He hates you, huh? 230 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:50,071 - He hates me. - Wow, that's a horrible thing to do. 231 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:53,051 Terrible, yeah. 232 00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:54,882 What do you eat those things for? 233 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,980 - What, Health-Glo? - There's no cashews. I love cashews. 234 00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:00,720 - They put no cashews in there. - Yeah, you know who makes it? 235 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,250 - Who? - Schwimmer's father. 236 00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:03,989 - You're kidding me. - Swear to God. 237 00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,396 - You ought to tell him to add cashews. - I did. 238 00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:09,026 - Really? Wow, great, great. - Yeah. 239 00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,933 - Hey, Norm. - Shalom, Jeff. 240 00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,494 - Hey, Norm? - Yeah? 241 00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,801 Care for some, uh, cashew-raisins? 242 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,469 No, I have no appetite. 243 00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:22,145 Hey, Norm, let me ask you something. 244 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:27,648 I got a letter from the club about having a dirty locker. 245 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,621 They don't like dirty lockers. 246 00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:31,782 - Yeah. - You remember Burt Suzuki? 247 00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:35,055 - Yeah. - They kicked him out months ago. 248 00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:38,154 - Filthy locker, filthy. - Yeah, I was just kind of wondering 249 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,961 maybe, if you had anything to do with that? 250 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,490 - Me? - Yeah. 251 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,003 No. 252 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:47,062 You sure? 253 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,530 Yeah. 254 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:20,167 - I'm very sorry. - Thank you very much. 255 00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:22,299 I'm very sorry. 256 00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,241 Very sorry. 257 00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:26,107 - Hi, Larry. - Sorry about your uncle. 258 00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:29,080 - Thank you very much. - Very sorry. 259 00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:34,149 Very sorry. Sorry about your dad. 260 00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:37,053 - Thanks, Larry. - He was a good man. 261 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,353 He was a great man. 262 00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,561 Maybe we'll play golf sometime, when you're... 263 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,564 - Mm-hmm. ...feel better. 264 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,396 - If you feel up to it. - Mm-hmm. 265 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:52,666 Sure you don't want to give me that weatherman's tip? 266 00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:55,105 Right now I'm in mourning. 267 00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:58,110 No, I'm not saying now, but some other time, you know. 268 00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:02,137 We'll talk about it. Do what... do what you have to do. 269 00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,012 What's with the open casket? 270 00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:09,213 I know, why do we have to go look at that? 271 00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:11,416 Hey, Jeff Rosenthal. 272 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,152 He was a writer on "Party of Five." 273 00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:14,887 - That guy, really? - Yeah. 274 00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:16,656 Go ask him. 275 00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,798 Excuse me. I'm sorry. 276 00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:22,733 - Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure. 277 00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:26,204 This is gonna sound a little crazy. Did you work on "Party of Five"? 278 00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,035 Yeah. 279 00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:30,871 You remember the season when Charlie had Hodgkin's? 280 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,400 Right. Yeah yeah. 281 00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:35,811 So in the show, didn't he have good Hodgkin's? 282 00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:39,784 Well, he had Hodgkin's that he survived. 283 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,787 I don't know if that's good. 284 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,516 He survived it, so that was good. 285 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:46,548 But isn't there a good Hodgkin's and a bad Hodgkin's? 286 00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:50,323 No, there's Hodgkin's and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. 287 00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:53,593 And Hodgkin's disease has a better survival rate. 288 00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:56,032 Okay, so that's a better Hodgkin's. 289 00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,332 I mean, that's a valid point, 290 00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:01,237 but I wouldn't say it was good. 291 00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:04,333 - It's better. - It's better. 292 00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:07,072 - Okay. - But not good. 293 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:09,410 Better. 294 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,981 Okay, there's two kinds of Hodgkin's. 295 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,579 One has a better survival rate than the other. 296 00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:18,351 - Right. - Okay, so it's good. 297 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,415 No, it's not good. 298 00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:22,017 Well, it's better than the other. 299 00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:23,688 Okay, better, but it's not good. 300 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:25,321 Compared to the other, it's good. 301 00:14:41,313 --> 00:14:43,110 - What? - My 5-wood's in there. 302 00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:44,945 - What? - Go see for yourself. 303 00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,451 It's my 5-wood. 304 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:52,683 - Oh my God. - The fuck is my 5-wood 305 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,159 - doing in the casket? - I have no idea. 306 00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:59,255 - He wanted to be buried with his club. - Yeah? 307 00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:02,790 Sven must have put my club in there, probably on purpose. 308 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:05,998 - That's a horrible thing to do. - That club's irreplaceable. 309 00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:09,166 - It's 10 years old. They don't make it. - Oh, I'm so sorry. 310 00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,971 I'm sorry, man. 311 00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:15,944 - You got your clubs in your trunk? - Yeah. 312 00:15:17,182 --> 00:15:19,446 - No, not... no no no. - Why? 313 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,646 Because I like the way mine feels. 314 00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:24,315 Your club, I can get at any store in the country. 315 00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:26,756 - But I like the feel. - It doesn't matter. It's one club. 316 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:28,885 - I like that club. - Why should this guy 317 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,694 be buried in eternity with my club? That's not fair. 318 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:35,757 That's not fair. I'll buy you a new club today. 319 00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:38,361 The exact same one. And it better have the same feel. 320 00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:51,808 My Uncle Leo was more than my uncle, 321 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,402 he was like a second father to me. 322 00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:57,381 And he loved life, my Uncle Leo. Didn't he? 323 00:16:57,416 --> 00:17:01,113 He was a guy who lived it to the hilt. 324 00:17:02,888 --> 00:17:05,755 Loved his only son Marty. 325 00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:09,249 He loved a good walk. Loved ginger-ale... 326 00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,922 on ice with the fizz. 327 00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:14,330 - He liked driving his car. - Hey. 328 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,698 - Hated to fly. - Hey! 329 00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:19,898 A short nap in the afternoon; "Jeopardy." 330 00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:22,498 - Those of you that knew him. - Look at that. 331 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:26,033 He loved to frame the answers 332 00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:28,808 - like questions, huh? - It's disgusting. 333 00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:32,408 Every second Tuesday, a haircut. 334 00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:37,417 I'm just gonna say goodbye to my Uncle Leo. 335 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:41,856 Marty, come here a minute. 336 00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,827 Is this his 5-wood? 337 00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:55,670 No. Someone must have switched it. 338 00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:01,977 What is that? 339 00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:05,541 - Is that a cashew? - Yeah, it's a cashew. 340 00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:33,244 We are kicked out of our country club 341 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:36,145 because of a fucking 5-iron? 342 00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:38,081 - It was a 5-wood. - Jeffrey? 343 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,449 You didn't know the golf club had your name on it? 344 00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:42,181 Fucking idiot! 345 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,712 What are we supposed to do now, all right? 346 00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:46,724 Where's Cheryl gonna play tennis? 347 00:18:46,758 --> 00:18:50,125 - Good question. Where am I gonna play? - Yeah, exactly. 348 00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:52,596 I've been playing at that club for years. 349 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:55,464 She's in the tournaments. She's one of the best players in the club. 350 00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:56,991 She's not that great. 351 00:18:57,035 --> 00:18:59,128 Matter of fact, I am and I think I proved that. 352 00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:01,469 I beat her 6-1, 6-love 353 00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:04,067 - two years ago. - Two years ago! 354 00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,906 And you're still hanging onto that. 355 00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:09,175 You know how many times I've played tennis since? You know what? 356 00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:11,045 The truth of the matter is 357 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,779 Cheryl cares about that club, I care about that club, 358 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:17,277 Sammi goes to day camp there with the same kids she's been with for years. 359 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,347 You two don't give a shit about anybody but yourself. 360 00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:21,951 You're fucking narcissists, okay? 361 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:25,293 It's all a game, all a big fucking game. 362 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,730 - What are we gonna do? - You're just so inconsiderate. 363 00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:29,927 You don't think about what's gonna happen next. 364 00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:32,266 You know what? That 5-wood was irreplaceable. 365 00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,465 - Mine's replaceable. - And I'll tell you, 366 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,736 I would rather be out of that club with my 5-wood 367 00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:40,506 - than in it without it. - We'd rather you be in it without it. 368 00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:42,844 We've no place to go, no place to play. 369 00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:45,145 It was our social life! 370 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,152 Okay, you know what? 371 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,211 I think my friend Julie was just saying 372 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:52,314 that the Beverly Park Country Club might be taking new members. 373 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,382 Beverly Park, that's pretty... 374 00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:56,451 And it's a beautiful country club. 375 00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,360 All right, I don't want to offend you, 376 00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,093 but there's, like, three fucking Jews in the whole club. 377 00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,693 It's not for us. It's WASP, WASP, Republican city. 378 00:20:03,735 --> 00:20:06,704 Okay, you know what? I fit in with you guys all the time. 379 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:08,968 For years, I've been going to your thing, so... 380 00:20:09,007 --> 00:20:10,736 How am I gonna get by in the interview? 381 00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:13,336 This one would stick out like a sore fucking thumb. 382 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,313 - This Jew-face over here. - I'm more of a Jew-face than you? 383 00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:19,408 Hey, fuck you, Larry. I didn't get us into this predicament. 384 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:22,477 - I'm much more gentiley than you are. - Okay okay, look. 385 00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:24,284 We get an interview, we go in there. 386 00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:26,223 - It's a great golf course. - It is. 387 00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:29,523 - They have a beautiful tennis court. - But you know what? 388 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:32,121 You have to walk on that course. There's no carts. 389 00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,223 - We like to take a cart. - I'm not joining. 390 00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:36,325 It wouldn't hurt you to walk a little, Jeff. 391 00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:39,269 That's what it's all about. You can't exercise a little bit? 392 00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:41,795 I'd have to get a doctor's note in order to take a cart. 393 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,604 - So get a fucking doctor's note! - I don't know any doctor. 394 00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:46,577 It's always something with them. 395 00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:56,816 Oskie. 396 00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:59,722 Hey, Oskie! Come on. 397 00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:05,387 What's going on? What are you doing? 398 00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,463 Should I sit? 399 00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:10,866 Yeah. 400 00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:29,083 The dog bit my penis! 401 00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:43,491 - Fucking dog should be put to sleep. - He should be put to sleep. 402 00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:46,333 - You think so too? - He's biting people. That's dangerous. 403 00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:48,168 He's never bitten anybody before, ever. 404 00:21:48,206 --> 00:21:50,697 It's not the first time with you and the dog. I know that. 405 00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:54,075 What does that mean? What happened with the dog? 406 00:21:54,112 --> 00:21:57,513 - Tell her. - Nothing happened with the dog. 407 00:21:57,549 --> 00:21:59,540 Obviously something happened. 408 00:21:59,584 --> 00:22:02,883 - He said it's not the first incident. - He pet the dog before. 409 00:22:02,921 --> 00:22:05,481 Dog was in his lap. He got up, he had a boner. 410 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:09,387 Why did the dog give you an erection? 411 00:22:10,595 --> 00:22:12,392 And why didn't you tell me about that? 412 00:22:12,431 --> 00:22:15,298 First of all, that's not true, okay? 413 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:18,394 - That's not true. I was petting the... - Why would he say that? 414 00:22:18,437 --> 00:22:21,406 - Because he's a moron... - I'm making it up? What happened? 415 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,500 I was petting the dog, and then the dog left 416 00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:27,706 - and I got up and I adjusted my pants. - Because you had an erection? 417 00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:29,771 No, because I just had to adjust my pants. 418 00:22:29,815 --> 00:22:31,908 - And then Susie saw me. - What was the dog doing to you? 419 00:22:31,950 --> 00:22:34,919 Nothing, I was just petting it. You see what you did? 420 00:22:34,953 --> 00:22:37,581 - You see what you did now? - Oh my God, wait a second. 421 00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:40,523 Is that why Ted Danson didn't want you to take care of his dog? 422 00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:42,823 Mmm-hmm. 423 00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:48,121 Oh, God, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. 424 00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:50,964 Some privacy here. 425 00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:53,903 Okay, let me see. I just got this. 426 00:22:53,939 --> 00:22:56,305 I'm sorry, I haven't really looked at it. 427 00:22:56,341 --> 00:22:58,707 They checked you in outside and, uh, 428 00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:01,440 you don't have any allergies to medicines or... 429 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,948 - No no. - You have a history of heart disease? 430 00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:06,610 High blood pressure, eczema, anything like that? 431 00:23:06,651 --> 00:23:09,119 - No no. - Okay, good, good. 432 00:23:09,154 --> 00:23:12,248 All right, so what's the problem? 433 00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:19,955 I, uh... 434 00:23:21,633 --> 00:23:23,897 a dog, uh... 435 00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:30,970 - A dog? - Bit me over there. Bit my penis. 436 00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:35,637 A-a dog bit your penis? 437 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,114 Okay, well... 438 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:40,050 that sounds painful. 439 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:42,485 Sorry. 440 00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:45,957 Let's see. Okay, Mr... Larry David? 441 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,885 Oh my God. 442 00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:52,590 Are you in "The Producers"? 443 00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:57,393 - Yeah. - I'm best friends with Steve. 444 00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,870 Steve, the choreographer for "The Producers." 445 00:23:59,905 --> 00:24:02,169 Anthony? 446 00:24:02,207 --> 00:24:03,731 Yes! 447 00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,242 Yes! He mentioned me, then? 448 00:24:06,812 --> 00:24:08,746 He's told me a lot about you, actually. 449 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:12,045 He said that I think you love to play golf and... 450 00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:14,210 I golf too. 451 00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:16,948 That's the only reason I'm bringing it up. 452 00:24:18,423 --> 00:24:21,859 So, okay. Well, I'll go all day if you let me. 453 00:24:21,893 --> 00:24:23,918 Why don't you give me "Mister Baggie" 454 00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:29,294 and just stand up and show me what the dog did? 455 00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:44,376 And he says to you, "You got it out there, 456 00:24:44,416 --> 00:24:46,782 - but it's low and to the right." - Hello! 457 00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:51,050 - Hi, Erin told us to come right in. - Cheryl? 458 00:24:51,089 --> 00:24:52,852 - Yes. Cheryl. - Jim Rummington. 459 00:24:52,891 --> 00:24:54,916 - Nice to meet you. - Hello, Jim. Larry. 460 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,155 - Larry? - Larry David. 461 00:24:57,195 --> 00:24:59,823 - What a great pleasure to meet you. - I'm sure it's ours. 462 00:24:59,865 --> 00:25:01,594 - Please, have a seat. - Thank you. 463 00:25:01,633 --> 00:25:04,363 - Here you go, sweetheart. - Thank you, darling. 464 00:25:04,402 --> 00:25:06,302 By the way, gentlemen, 465 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:11,298 I must comment on how friendly everybody was. 466 00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:14,073 - We just parked our Hummer in the lot. - You have a Hummer? 467 00:25:14,112 --> 00:25:16,637 - Oh yes. - How do you like it? 468 00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:18,808 Oh, I like it. 469 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:21,614 - It's very roomy. - What a beauty. 470 00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:24,144 I'm not too worried about the global warming. 471 00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:26,282 People like it a little warmer, don't they? 472 00:25:26,324 --> 00:25:28,952 - Am I crazy here? - By the way, 473 00:25:28,994 --> 00:25:30,962 where did you go to school? 474 00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:33,089 New Haven. I went to Yale. 475 00:25:33,131 --> 00:25:35,463 - Oh, I see, I see. - Did you meet in school? 476 00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:38,936 - Um, no, actually. - Not really. 477 00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:41,495 It's sort of a May-December relationship. 478 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:43,303 I don't know if you've noticed. 479 00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:45,935 I would call it May-October. I wouldn't say December. 480 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,541 No, we met at a fundraiser. 481 00:25:50,582 --> 00:25:52,641 - What was the fundraiser? - It was for... 482 00:25:52,684 --> 00:25:54,413 - Ronald Reagan. - Reagan. 483 00:25:54,452 --> 00:25:57,580 - Oh yeah? Oh I see. - Yeah, we were both volunteering. 484 00:25:57,622 --> 00:26:00,614 Just volunteering our time and our effort. 485 00:26:00,659 --> 00:26:03,287 Good for you. Because when you're young, 486 00:26:03,328 --> 00:26:06,456 you have the energy and the power to do those things. 487 00:26:06,498 --> 00:26:08,966 But now, that's the interesting question, 488 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,265 - what do you do afterwards? - Right. 489 00:26:12,304 --> 00:26:15,000 That's a good question. What do you do after that? 490 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,009 - You maintain that kind of commitment. - We come to a place 491 00:26:18,043 --> 00:26:20,603 like this beautiful country club, and we make... 492 00:26:20,645 --> 00:26:22,670 Magnificent, really. Just magnificent. 493 00:26:22,714 --> 00:26:25,683 You feel comfortable here? 494 00:26:25,717 --> 00:26:28,481 Oh, so at home. 495 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,317 Quite comfortable. 496 00:26:30,355 --> 00:26:32,687 Let me say the golf course is magnificent too, 497 00:26:32,724 --> 00:26:34,988 I'm fairly new to golf. 498 00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:38,621 - Polo was my game. - Really? 499 00:26:38,663 --> 00:26:40,597 Oh, well, I had a terrible accident. 500 00:26:40,632 --> 00:26:42,293 I got hit with a mallet in the head 501 00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:45,269 and fell off the horse, and unfortunately my polo days are over. 502 00:26:45,303 --> 00:26:48,363 But I found the swing really works for golf. 503 00:26:48,406 --> 00:26:51,136 - Yes, he's a natural. - I picked it up right away. 504 00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:53,303 You know, that's right. It is a similar swing. 505 00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:56,508 It's a similar swing. Think about it, yeah. 506 00:26:56,548 --> 00:26:58,846 By the way, did I notice 507 00:26:58,883 --> 00:27:02,341 a log-cabin Republican in the parking lot? 508 00:27:02,387 --> 00:27:04,685 Was that you? Did you let that one in, Ken? 509 00:27:08,059 --> 00:27:10,027 I thought we did. 510 00:27:10,061 --> 00:27:11,858 Let me ask you a question. What hobbies 511 00:27:11,896 --> 00:27:15,457 or social societies have you been involved in? 512 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,991 That's a fair question. Outside of golf of course, 513 00:27:18,036 --> 00:27:21,369 - we like sailing. - Yes, we sail as a pair. 514 00:27:21,406 --> 00:27:24,534 Got a schooner down at the marina. 515 00:27:24,576 --> 00:27:26,942 A schooner in the marina? That's marvelous. 516 00:27:26,978 --> 00:27:29,469 - You must know Baxter Churchill? - Of course. 517 00:27:29,514 --> 00:27:31,482 - Yes yes. - Sail it yourself 518 00:27:31,516 --> 00:27:33,347 or do you have a captain? 519 00:27:33,385 --> 00:27:37,845 Occasionally I'll bring a captain in if it's windy. 520 00:27:37,889 --> 00:27:39,948 Could I ask you a few more questions 521 00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:43,483 - about organizations you belong to? - Absolutely. 522 00:27:43,528 --> 00:27:45,792 Well, I'm a Moose... 523 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:48,856 - and an Elk. - You're a Moose and an Elk? 524 00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:51,425 - I'm a Moose and an Elk, yes. - That's extraordinary. 525 00:27:51,469 --> 00:27:56,600 - I'm in the Rotary Club. - Well, oh my. 526 00:27:56,641 --> 00:27:59,109 What other organizations are you members of? 527 00:27:59,144 --> 00:28:02,477 We're on the Council for Conservative Citizens, 528 00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,607 - National Right to Life Committee. - Yes. 529 00:28:04,649 --> 00:28:06,617 we're in the Heritage Foundation. 530 00:28:06,651 --> 00:28:08,243 I think this has gone rather well. 531 00:28:08,286 --> 00:28:10,516 - Proceedings have come to an end. - Great. 532 00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:12,284 We've enjoyed meeting you. 533 00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:15,815 - We've enjoyed meeting you. - Gentlemen, before we go... 534 00:28:15,860 --> 00:28:18,954 unfortunately because of my polo accident, 535 00:28:18,997 --> 00:28:22,433 I'm not able to walk the course 536 00:28:22,467 --> 00:28:24,401 and I'll have to take a cart. 537 00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:27,405 That's from my personal physician. 538 00:28:27,439 --> 00:28:29,669 - Oh, I see. - One Anthony Parker. 539 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,506 Dr. Anthony Parker. 540 00:28:38,817 --> 00:28:41,684 - Hello? - Hey, Delilah, it's Larry David. 541 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,553 - Hi, Larry. - I'm sorry, 542 00:28:44,589 --> 00:28:46,648 but I'm not gonna be able to make it tonight. 543 00:28:46,691 --> 00:28:48,556 Why not? 544 00:28:48,593 --> 00:28:51,153 A dog bit my penis. 43249

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