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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,961 --> 00:00:15,131 [dramatic music] 2 00:00:15,164 --> 00:00:16,704 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:16,733 --> 00:00:18,273 ‐ Yeah, mm‐hmm. 4 00:00:18,301 --> 00:00:19,901 Understood. Will do. 5 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,866 Listen‐‐listen, I'm gonna bring in some agency staff on this. 6 00:00:22,905 --> 00:00:24,435 I know there's an extra cost, 7 00:00:24,474 --> 00:00:26,784 but gotta spend money to make money, you know? 8 00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:28,679 ♪ ♪ 9 00:00:28,711 --> 00:00:32,221 Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm. 10 00:00:32,248 --> 00:00:33,848 Okay, look, I've been standing outside my house 11 00:00:33,883 --> 00:00:35,353 for about the last 20 minutes now. 12 00:00:35,385 --> 00:00:37,845 Could we pick this up early doors Monday? 13 00:00:37,887 --> 00:00:39,857 Yeah, understood. Will do. 14 00:00:39,889 --> 00:00:42,629 And you, mate. Bye, bye. 15 00:00:42,659 --> 00:00:48,399 ♪ ♪ 16 00:00:48,431 --> 00:00:49,771 Hello. 17 00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:52,399 Ava: Hurry up! Hurry up! Luke: Quick, Dad! 18 00:00:52,435 --> 00:00:53,895 You're missing it! ‐ Yes, I'm coming! 19 00:00:53,936 --> 00:00:55,196 Ava: Come on! ‐ Hold your horses! 20 00:00:55,238 --> 00:00:57,138 Ava: What horses? ‐ Right. 21 00:00:57,173 --> 00:00:59,543 Over here, crisps for Luke. Luke: Yes, crisps! 22 00:00:59,575 --> 00:01:01,735 ‐ Where's my yogurt? ‐ Weird yogurt thing for Ava. 23 00:01:01,778 --> 00:01:04,308 ‐ Yes! ‐ G&T for Mummy. 24 00:01:04,347 --> 00:01:07,647 ‐ Yay. ‐ And lager for me. 25 00:01:07,684 --> 00:01:10,494 [sighs] Here we go, all set. 26 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,620 announcer: Welcome to "Dancing on Ice." 27 00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:15,825 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:18,558 ‐ Sorry I'm late. 29 00:01:18,594 --> 00:01:21,204 Hello. Ally: Up here. 30 00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:22,670 ‐ Hey. Didn't you hear me shouting? 31 00:01:22,699 --> 00:01:24,669 Ally: Didn't want to add to it by shouting back. 32 00:01:24,701 --> 00:01:26,371 ‐ Still working? 33 00:01:26,402 --> 00:01:27,702 ‐ Always. ‐ [sighs] 34 00:01:27,737 --> 00:01:29,207 Where is everyone? 35 00:01:29,238 --> 00:01:30,568 ‐ Upstairs. Downstairs. 36 00:01:30,606 --> 00:01:33,206 Somewhere. What you late for? 37 00:01:33,242 --> 00:01:34,782 ‐ Yay. Hasn't started yet. 38 00:01:34,811 --> 00:01:36,751 ‐ Oh, God, not "Dancing on Ice." 39 00:01:36,779 --> 00:01:38,749 ‐ Ava, quick. It's starting. 40 00:01:38,781 --> 00:01:40,651 New series. ‐ What? 41 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:42,723 ‐ "Dancing on Ice." Go on, get your brother. 42 00:01:42,752 --> 00:01:44,452 We'll miss the beginning. ‐ Where is he? 43 00:01:44,487 --> 00:01:46,117 ‐ I don't know. I just got here. 44 00:01:46,155 --> 00:01:49,585 ‐ Downstairs? ‐ Maybe. 45 00:01:51,394 --> 00:01:52,704 ‐ Could we maybe watch it later, Dad? 46 00:01:52,729 --> 00:01:54,399 I'm in the middle of a game. 47 00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:55,870 ‐ Can't you pause it? 48 00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:58,228 ‐ It's tricky, because if the‐‐ 49 00:01:58,267 --> 00:02:01,367 it's just tricky to pause it on this level. 50 00:02:01,404 --> 00:02:03,474 ‐ All right, fine. 51 00:02:03,506 --> 00:02:05,206 ‐ Do I have to pause it? ‐ No, you don't have to 52 00:02:05,241 --> 00:02:06,681 pause it, 'cause it's not Saudi Arabia. 53 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:08,379 But don't you want to watch the new series? 54 00:02:08,411 --> 00:02:10,351 ‐ I think I might be too old for that sort of stuff. 55 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,350 Sorry. 56 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:17,123 ‐ Okay. 57 00:02:17,153 --> 00:02:19,363 Ava, are you watching this with me, then? 58 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:22,259 ‐ I might watch it later. ‐ Why not watch it live? 59 00:02:22,292 --> 00:02:24,292 ‐ It's fine. I don't mind watching it later. 60 00:02:24,327 --> 00:02:26,127 ‐ You know, when I was a kid, if you missed your program, 61 00:02:26,162 --> 00:02:27,362 you literally had to wait 62 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,367 20 years till you could see it again. 63 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,139 ‐ That's sounds horrible. 64 00:02:32,168 --> 00:02:34,798 ‐ It was horrible, to be fair. 65 00:02:34,837 --> 00:02:36,437 There are still some episodes of "The Sweeney" 66 00:02:36,472 --> 00:02:38,242 I've never seen. 67 00:02:38,274 --> 00:02:41,584 But it also made you value the present moment. 68 00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:45,322 [keyboard clacking] 69 00:02:45,348 --> 00:02:47,618 [indistinct chatter on television] 70 00:02:49,519 --> 00:02:51,319 Sorry, have I died, and no one's telling me? 71 00:02:51,354 --> 00:02:53,494 ‐ What? ‐ Nothing. 72 00:02:53,523 --> 00:02:54,693 ‐ And do the kids not want to watch it? 73 00:02:54,724 --> 00:02:56,334 ‐ No. Neither of them. 74 00:02:56,359 --> 00:02:57,559 [indistinct chatter on television] 75 00:02:57,593 --> 00:02:59,163 This is it, then. 76 00:02:59,195 --> 00:03:00,155 ‐ I guess they've grown out of it. 77 00:03:00,196 --> 00:03:01,156 ‐ Well, I haven't. 78 00:03:01,197 --> 00:03:02,467 ‐ It is a bit cheesy. 79 00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:03,528 ‐ Not when you watch it together, it isn't. 80 00:03:03,566 --> 00:03:04,666 It becomes a different thing then. 81 00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:07,571 It becomes our family thing. 82 00:03:07,603 --> 00:03:09,913 Since when were we the kind of family that retreats 83 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:12,279 into separate rooms to look at separate screens? 84 00:03:12,308 --> 00:03:13,878 ‐ We were never gonna be the Waltons. 85 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:15,310 ‐ I don't need us to be the Waltons, hon. 86 00:03:15,345 --> 00:03:16,805 I'd make due with the Munsters at this point. 87 00:03:16,846 --> 00:03:18,206 Or the fucking Manson family. 88 00:03:18,247 --> 00:03:19,917 At least they had a shared interest. 89 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,579 ‐ Why don't you just tell them to get their asses in here? 90 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,718 ‐ 'Cause I want them to want to watch it. 91 00:03:23,753 --> 00:03:25,523 I want it to be a consensual watch. 92 00:03:25,555 --> 00:03:26,685 ‐ Well, then I can't help you. 93 00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:29,663 ‐ Apparently not. 94 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,514 [mischievous music] 95 00:03:50,546 --> 00:03:52,146 Night, Jim Bob. 96 00:03:52,181 --> 00:03:57,621 ♪ ♪ 97 00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,894 Ava: Dad, the internet's off. Luke: Dad! 98 00:04:00,923 --> 00:04:02,663 Ally: Paul, is the internet down? 99 00:04:02,692 --> 00:04:09,432 ♪ ♪ 100 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,603 Did you see I put in the inset day? 101 00:04:12,635 --> 00:04:15,435 ‐ Monday week? Yep, it's there in green. 102 00:04:15,471 --> 00:04:17,341 And I have to take Ava to taekwondo later, 103 00:04:17,373 --> 00:04:18,613 and Luke to Mum and Dad's 104 00:04:18,641 --> 00:04:20,211 ‐ Is that okay? Paul: Yeah. 105 00:04:20,243 --> 00:04:21,843 If it's in green, it shall be done. 106 00:04:21,878 --> 00:04:23,178 ‐ Is it green on yours? 107 00:04:23,212 --> 00:04:24,552 It's red on mine. That's funny. 108 00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:26,250 ‐ Hmm, yeah, it's definitely one for the memoirs. 109 00:04:26,282 --> 00:04:27,422 ‐ [chuckles] 110 00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:30,250 [sighs] 111 00:04:30,286 --> 00:04:32,486 ‐ God, did you ever think you'd end up as a calendar person? 112 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:36,432 ‐ What, tits out for WI? Vag behind a vase. 113 00:04:36,459 --> 00:04:39,129 ‐ I never had a Filofax, when everyone had Filofaxes. 114 00:04:39,162 --> 00:04:40,702 Did you have a Filofax? 115 00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:43,230 ‐ No, I didn't have anything to organize. 116 00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:44,696 ‐ Those were the days. 117 00:04:44,734 --> 00:04:47,144 ‐ Ah, finally, that guy's replied about the pickups 118 00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:49,770 for the Horror Channel ad. ‐ Right, better go, babe. 119 00:04:49,806 --> 00:04:51,836 Come on, you two. Let's make a move, please. 120 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:55,314 Luke: All right. Ava: Coming. 121 00:04:55,345 --> 00:04:58,575 ‐ Yeah, bye. 122 00:05:06,656 --> 00:05:09,356 ‐ Why does Granddad always wait in the road for us like that? 123 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:12,362 ‐ Don't pull on that thread, darling. 124 00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:18,333 ‐ Bob and Lynn are through that way, Luke. 125 00:05:18,368 --> 00:05:19,768 ‐ Okay. 126 00:05:19,802 --> 00:05:20,902 ‐ They just want a hand with a few last bits. 127 00:05:20,937 --> 00:05:23,407 ‐ All right. ‐ Thanks, son. 128 00:05:23,439 --> 00:05:24,839 Nice of Luke to help. 129 00:05:24,874 --> 00:05:27,884 ‐ Yeah, he's a good kid. ‐ End of an era, this. 130 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,380 ‐ Bob and Lynn have been here 131 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,652 almost as long as you, haven't they? 132 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,720 ‐ Moved in two months after we did. 133 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,819 48 years ago. Never a cross word. 134 00:05:35,852 --> 00:05:37,822 ‐ Well, apart from that thing with the drains‐‐ 135 00:05:37,854 --> 00:05:39,564 ‐ Never a cross word, 136 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:43,259 apart from that one isolated incident with the drains. 137 00:05:43,293 --> 00:05:45,463 ‐ You gonna be all right? ‐ Dad, we're gonna be late. 138 00:05:45,495 --> 00:05:48,665 ‐ Yeah. ‐ Ah, we'll be fine. 139 00:05:48,698 --> 00:05:51,198 I used to know everybody on this street. 140 00:05:51,234 --> 00:05:53,544 Now we're the last of the old guard, 141 00:05:53,569 --> 00:05:55,669 invaded by the middle classes. 142 00:05:55,705 --> 00:05:59,275 No net curtains and constant fucking building work. 143 00:05:59,309 --> 00:06:03,149 I don't know them. Don't want to know them. 144 00:06:03,179 --> 00:06:06,849 They've gone. He's a fucking lawyer. 145 00:06:06,883 --> 00:06:08,723 Sue and Terry were evicted. 146 00:06:08,751 --> 00:06:11,351 They downsized. She died. 147 00:06:11,387 --> 00:06:13,557 He died. I don't know them. 148 00:06:13,589 --> 00:06:16,329 She went into a care home. 149 00:06:16,359 --> 00:06:18,189 She's an architect or something. 150 00:06:18,227 --> 00:06:19,627 ‐ I should probably get going, then. 151 00:06:19,662 --> 00:06:21,362 ‐ I think that fucker makes puppets. 152 00:06:21,397 --> 00:06:22,597 ‐ See you later. Ava: Bye, Granddad. 153 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:26,302 ‐ Bye, love. [horn honks] 154 00:06:28,404 --> 00:06:30,514 ‐ [screams] 155 00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:32,610 ‐ That's great. ‐ Are we nearly done? 156 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,282 ‐ No, not really. Sorry. 157 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:35,810 Look, I don't like working on a Saturday either, 158 00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:37,275 but this is the only way we're gonna get through it all. 159 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:38,823 ‐ My throat's getting a bit‐‐ ‐ Great. 160 00:06:38,848 --> 00:06:41,178 So, the next few bits are, yeah, just more screaming. 161 00:06:41,217 --> 00:06:42,587 So if you could really let rip, 162 00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:45,519 then I'll‐‐I'll drop it in as needed. 163 00:06:45,555 --> 00:06:48,315 ‐ [screams] ‐ Yeah, that's good. 164 00:06:48,358 --> 00:06:49,558 I guess just‐‐the more terrified you sound, 165 00:06:49,592 --> 00:06:51,562 the better. So, I don't know, 166 00:06:51,594 --> 00:06:52,734 imagine you've dropped your phone in the loo, 167 00:06:52,762 --> 00:06:54,732 or you're being murdered. Whatever works. 168 00:06:54,764 --> 00:06:56,534 ‐ I missed that. Sorry? ‐ No, no, no, no. 169 00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:58,126 No, no. Don't stop. 170 00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,237 I'm saying brilliant screaming. Keep going. 171 00:07:00,269 --> 00:07:01,769 Abigail: [screaming] ‐ Oh. 172 00:07:01,804 --> 00:07:04,314 [phone vibrating] 173 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:06,610 Hi. ‐ Hi, I forgot to say 174 00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:08,713 we need juice and milk, so can you‐‐ 175 00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:10,805 ‐ No probs. How's your dad? 176 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,847 ‐ Lamenting the social cleansing of London 177 00:07:12,882 --> 00:07:14,552 by ponces like us. 178 00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:16,454 Ally: Well, he has got a point. 179 00:07:16,486 --> 00:07:18,446 ‐ [sighs] Yeah, I guess so. 180 00:07:18,488 --> 00:07:20,488 Anyway, we're just heading into taekwondo now. 181 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:21,863 ‐ Oh. Paul: See you later. 182 00:07:21,891 --> 00:07:23,231 ‐ [screaming] ‐ That's great. 183 00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:26,159 You can stop screaming now, Abigail. 184 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:30,225 How you doing? Oh. 185 00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:31,896 ‐ Haven't seen you do your taekwondo before. 186 00:07:31,934 --> 00:07:35,614 ‐ It's not ty‐KWON‐do, it's tae‐kwon‐DO. 187 00:07:35,638 --> 00:07:37,538 ‐ What? ‐ You keep saying it wrong. 188 00:07:37,573 --> 00:07:40,183 ‐ Ty‐KWON‐do. ‐ No, tae‐kwon‐DO. 189 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:41,339 Say it with me. Tae‐kwon. 190 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:43,477 ‐ Judo. ‐ Dad, no. 191 00:07:43,513 --> 00:07:44,783 ‐ I'll live with mispronouncing it, 192 00:07:44,814 --> 00:07:46,284 as will Japan. 193 00:07:46,316 --> 00:07:49,386 ‐ Korea. Hey, Emily. 194 00:07:49,419 --> 00:07:50,689 instructor: Straighten that leg. 195 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,160 Good. Other side. 196 00:07:52,188 --> 00:07:53,318 Really stretch. Just lean. 197 00:07:53,356 --> 00:07:56,356 ‐ Hus. 198 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,592 Up and hus. Not "and hus." 199 00:07:58,628 --> 00:08:00,328 Up and hus. ‐ This is all wrong. 200 00:08:00,363 --> 00:08:02,203 ‐ Up and hus. ‐ Hey. 201 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,571 ‐ Dad, what are you doing? 202 00:08:03,599 --> 00:08:06,169 ‐ I'm just saying hello. 203 00:08:06,202 --> 00:08:07,472 ‐ Go sit down. We're starting. 204 00:08:07,503 --> 00:08:08,713 ‐ Okay. I'm Paul. 205 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,238 ‐ George. How are you doing? 206 00:08:10,273 --> 00:08:12,743 First time at taekwondo? 207 00:08:12,775 --> 00:08:14,875 ‐ Yes, it is, yeah. ‐ Right! 208 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,481 ‐ Fuck me. ‐ Sorry about that. 209 00:08:16,512 --> 00:08:17,912 ‐ I mean. ‐ Right, everyone. 210 00:08:17,947 --> 00:08:20,517 We're gonna start with a warmup. 211 00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:25,892 [speaking Korean] 212 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,462 ‐ Taekwon. George: All right, guys. 213 00:08:28,491 --> 00:08:30,331 Lean over to the left. 214 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,460 Deep lunge. Foot to the ceiling. 215 00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:34,555 ‐ That's not it. No, that's disgusting. 216 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:35,767 instructor: Stretch, guys. 217 00:08:35,798 --> 00:08:37,528 [indistinct chatter] 218 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:41,267 Rasheed, your balance, Jocelyn, look out please. 219 00:08:41,304 --> 00:08:43,844 Abigail: [screaming] 220 00:08:43,873 --> 00:08:47,613 [tense music] 221 00:08:47,644 --> 00:08:50,354 ‐ I really appreciate you putting all this extra work in. 222 00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:51,780 The Horror Channel guys have been‐‐ 223 00:08:51,814 --> 00:08:53,554 ‐ Horror. ‐ Yes. 224 00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:55,393 I was gonna say shits, but that's better. 225 00:08:55,418 --> 00:08:57,288 ‐ It's fine. I've been busy, but it's fine. 226 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,360 The kids are still alive. So is Paul, I think. 227 00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:02,760 ‐ Can be so tricky, can't it? Kids and all that. 228 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,392 Sometimes it's all just so intense. 229 00:09:04,427 --> 00:09:06,527 We're all supposed to pretend like we cope so well, 230 00:09:06,562 --> 00:09:08,532 but we're all of us screaming inside. 231 00:09:08,564 --> 00:09:10,734 ‐ Considering we're basically mammals with Nectar cards, 232 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,437 I think we do okay. ‐ Well, this is it. 233 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,438 You do what you can. I mean, we're not perfect. 234 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:16,711 My mother takes the twins two days a week, 235 00:09:16,739 --> 00:09:18,569 and I just have to decide to be okay with that. 236 00:09:18,608 --> 00:09:20,408 Not feel guilty. 237 00:09:20,443 --> 00:09:22,153 ‐ It's a nice thing. There's no need to feel guilty. 238 00:09:22,178 --> 00:09:23,908 ‐ There is a nanny, obviously, and a cleaner. 239 00:09:23,946 --> 00:09:25,816 Not an au pair or anything, just a woman. 240 00:09:25,848 --> 00:09:27,818 And the girl's mother has the same setup. 241 00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:30,190 ‐ How is Karen? ‐ Who the fuck cares? 242 00:09:30,219 --> 00:09:33,219 ‐ All right. ‐ Sorry, still raw. 243 00:09:33,256 --> 00:09:35,756 Like that macrobiotic shit she feeds the kids. 244 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,362 ‐ Are you still thinking of sending them 245 00:09:37,393 --> 00:09:38,803 to boarding school? 246 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,358 ‐ Nothing wrong with boarding school at seven. 247 00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:41,626 That's what I did. ‐ At seven, though? 248 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:42,604 Aren't you scared it'll fuck them up? 249 00:09:42,632 --> 00:09:44,332 ‐ So would state school. 250 00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,537 But at least it'll fuck them up in a way I can understand. 251 00:09:46,569 --> 00:09:48,809 ‐ Brilliant. 252 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,338 Abigail: [screaming] 253 00:09:56,546 --> 00:09:58,246 in this new place of yours? 254 00:09:58,281 --> 00:10:00,521 ‐ We have, Jackie. Nice new boiler. 255 00:10:00,550 --> 00:10:02,690 Jim: Great. Bob: Yeah, won't freeze. 256 00:10:02,719 --> 00:10:06,159 And as it's a bungalow, won't fall down the stairs, either. 257 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:10,159 So that's two forms of possible death out the picture already. 258 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:13,403 ‐ You're quids in. Paul: Hi, folks. 259 00:10:13,429 --> 00:10:15,429 Bob: Oh, here they are. 260 00:10:15,465 --> 00:10:18,265 ‐ Thank you for letting us borrow your son, Paul. 261 00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:20,271 ‐ You're welcome. ‐ Look at this one. 262 00:10:20,303 --> 00:10:23,273 ‐ Hi, Granny. ‐ Shooting up, beautiful. 263 00:10:23,306 --> 00:10:25,376 ‐ Yeah, we're just waiting for our cab. 264 00:10:25,408 --> 00:10:27,838 Having one last beer. 265 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,807 ‐ End of an era. ‐ End of an era. 266 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:34,177 ‐ It really is. End of an era. 267 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:37,347 ‐ Do you know, I once caught your dad 268 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,617 up to no good with my Katrina in the shed. 269 00:10:40,657 --> 00:10:43,487 ‐ What were they doing? ‐ Just shed stuff. 270 00:10:43,526 --> 00:10:47,296 ‐ Uber's just getting here. Come on, Lynn. 271 00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:50,300 ‐ You will look after the roses, won't you, Jackie? 272 00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,643 ‐ I promise, Lynn. They'll be fine. 273 00:10:52,669 --> 00:10:55,439 ‐ I'd hate to think of them dying after all these years. 274 00:10:55,471 --> 00:10:59,841 ‐ As long as I'm alive, they'll be alive. 275 00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:01,836 ‐ Give Bob a hug, Dad. 276 00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:04,248 ‐ I couldn't. ‐ He's your oldest friend. 277 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,820 ‐ Come on, you old sod. Hug me. 278 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,560 First hug in 40 years. 279 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:16,628 ‐ And don't expect any more, you sentimental old bastard. 280 00:11:16,659 --> 00:11:18,529 ‐ Bye, then. 281 00:11:18,561 --> 00:11:22,301 ‐ Bye, Bob. I'll miss you, pal. 282 00:11:22,332 --> 00:11:26,702 ‐ Yeah. Come on, Lynn. 283 00:11:26,736 --> 00:11:30,306 ‐ Bye, Lynn. Good luck in your new place. 284 00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:33,180 ‐ Take care, Lynn. ‐ Good luck! 285 00:11:33,209 --> 00:11:36,149 [gentle music] 286 00:11:36,179 --> 00:11:39,579 ♪ ♪ 287 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:42,285 ‐ So, you put your photo in. ‐ And the filter makes you 288 00:11:42,318 --> 00:11:44,548 look like a bear or a rabbit or whatever. 289 00:11:44,587 --> 00:11:47,517 ‐ So that's you, Granddad. But you look like a badger. 290 00:11:47,557 --> 00:11:49,257 ‐ What you think? 291 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,832 ‐ I think they should bring back national service. 292 00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:53,160 ‐ Right, come on, you two. Let's go home, please. 293 00:11:53,196 --> 00:11:54,696 Get in the car. both: Shotgun. 294 00:11:54,731 --> 00:11:56,501 ‐ Why can't you both just sit in the back? 295 00:11:56,532 --> 00:11:57,772 ‐ What's the point of that? 296 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,500 ‐ I don't know, a sense of family unity. 297 00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:00,695 ‐ But I called shotgun. 298 00:12:00,737 --> 00:12:01,897 Ava: I did first. 299 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:03,708 ‐ Yeah, to be fair, mate, she was first. 300 00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:07,180 Hey. You all right, Mum? 301 00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:09,910 ‐ I've been doing Lynn's roses for years. 302 00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:12,846 Since she got arthritis in her hands 303 00:12:12,882 --> 00:12:17,552 and couldn't work the‐‐oh, what are they called, Jim? 304 00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:20,387 ‐ Secateurs. ‐ Secateurs. 305 00:12:20,423 --> 00:12:25,303 So, I'd nip in and do some deadheading or pruning. 306 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:27,298 Well, she loves her roses. 307 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,570 ‐ Bob couldn't give a shit. ‐ No. 308 00:12:29,599 --> 00:12:31,299 Lynn loved them, though. 309 00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,244 ‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ And I've promised her 310 00:12:33,269 --> 00:12:37,269 that I'd make sure that they'd be kept nice. 311 00:12:37,307 --> 00:12:40,807 Do you think the new neighbors will look after them? 312 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,713 ‐ How could I possibly know that? 313 00:12:42,745 --> 00:12:45,375 ‐ Apparently, they're young professionals. 314 00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:46,645 ‐ Mm‐hmm. 315 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,493 ‐ So that doesn't sound too bad. 316 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,519 ‐ Would you have a word, Paul? ‐ What, with the new neighbors? 317 00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:55,525 ‐ You can speak middle class. We can't. 318 00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:57,828 ‐ It would put my mind at rest. 319 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,830 ‐ Yeah, sure. Once they move in, 320 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,802 I'll pop over and have a word about the flowers, yeah. 321 00:13:02,832 --> 00:13:05,672 ‐ Thanks so much, love. ‐ It's all right, Mum. 322 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:10,567 ‐ All right. Fuck me, a hug. 323 00:13:10,606 --> 00:13:12,836 ‐ I'm getting a taste for them after hugging Bob. 324 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,505 Like when I discovered French bread pizzas. 325 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,245 ‐ We wouldn't eat anything else. 326 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,320 ‐ The tomato melts the roof of your mouth. 327 00:13:19,349 --> 00:13:21,679 Then the crusts embed themselves in it. 328 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:24,788 But it's worth it. 329 00:13:24,821 --> 00:13:26,491 ‐ Good story, innit? 330 00:13:26,522 --> 00:13:27,692 See you soon. Love you. 331 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:30,664 ‐ We love you. 332 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,699 ‐ Who's that? 333 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,701 [bright music] 334 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,804 ♪ ♪ 335 00:13:39,836 --> 00:13:43,436 [laughter] 336 00:13:43,473 --> 00:13:45,173 ‐ What's so funny? ‐ We're on Discord. 337 00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:46,578 ‐ Is that a game? ‐ Chat server. 338 00:13:46,609 --> 00:13:48,439 ‐ My friend Andrew's so stupid. 339 00:13:48,478 --> 00:13:50,648 ‐ He reckons that Roblox is better than Minecraft, 340 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,320 just 'cause he's never seen an ender dragon. 341 00:13:52,348 --> 00:13:53,578 ‐ He doesn't even have a Switch. 342 00:13:53,616 --> 00:13:55,286 He plays on his mum's iPad. 343 00:13:55,318 --> 00:13:57,348 And he's not allowed to watch Mobile Suit Gundam Wing, 344 00:13:57,387 --> 00:13:59,517 'cause of all the boobs. But he still does. 345 00:13:59,555 --> 00:14:02,555 ‐ You're right, that is really funny. 346 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,832 [door closes] 347 00:14:04,861 --> 00:14:06,561 Ava: Hi, Mum. 348 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,296 ‐ Hi. ‐ Hi, love. 349 00:14:08,331 --> 00:14:10,401 How was your day? ‐ Oh, you know. 350 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,303 How about you? ‐ Same. 351 00:14:12,335 --> 00:14:14,165 I got us all some fried chicken, though. 352 00:14:14,203 --> 00:14:16,513 ‐ Ooh, greasy‐‐I've missed eating out of the bucket. 353 00:14:16,539 --> 00:14:18,269 ‐ Thought we could watch "Dancing on Ice." 354 00:14:18,308 --> 00:14:20,308 Not live, you know, but beggars can't be choosers. 355 00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:22,253 ‐ I might eat mine at the table, if that's okay. 356 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,178 ‐ No, hang on, hang on. 357 00:14:24,213 --> 00:14:25,553 Eat it on your lap in front of the telly. 358 00:14:25,581 --> 00:14:26,921 ‐ Yeah, I was gonna go to my area. 359 00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:28,519 ‐ We're all knackered, Paul. 360 00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:31,151 ‐ No, come on, come on. Don't just disperse. 361 00:14:31,187 --> 00:14:32,557 You know, we're a family. Why don't we, for once, 362 00:14:32,588 --> 00:14:35,118 just watch the same screen at the same time? 363 00:14:35,158 --> 00:14:36,428 ‐ I'm not hugely in the mood, to be honest. 364 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,689 ‐ I've got homework. 365 00:14:37,727 --> 00:14:39,557 ‐ Yeah, so have I. ‐ Fuck homework. 366 00:14:39,595 --> 00:14:41,655 We're watching telly. All right, I'm not asking much. 367 00:14:41,698 --> 00:14:44,268 I'm not saying let's have parlor games 368 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,670 or play Trivial Pursuit or Rounders. 369 00:14:47,704 --> 00:14:51,314 But I am asking‐‐I'm fucking ordering you shithouses 370 00:14:51,341 --> 00:14:54,281 to sit down, eat this barely warm, batter‐y chicken, 371 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,680 and look in the same fucking direction. 372 00:15:02,251 --> 00:15:05,221 ‐ What happened to consent? 373 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,756 ‐ Can I have some coleslaw, please? 374 00:15:12,795 --> 00:15:15,295 Thank you. Thanks, babe. 375 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:18,271 [upbeat cheesy music] 376 00:15:18,301 --> 00:15:25,141 ♪ ♪ 377 00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:31,680 Right, well, this is shit. Go on, then. 378 00:15:31,714 --> 00:15:34,724 Fuck off to your screens. 379 00:15:34,751 --> 00:15:38,291 I mean it. Go. 380 00:15:38,321 --> 00:15:44,561 ♪ ♪ 381 00:15:44,594 --> 00:15:47,404 ‐ These fake turns‐‐ ‐ Don't. 382 00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:50,230 Just don't. [cheers and applause] 383 00:15:55,571 --> 00:15:58,541 [relaxed music] 384 00:15:58,574 --> 00:16:00,544 ♪ ♪ 385 00:16:00,576 --> 00:16:04,546 ‐ [sighs] 386 00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:06,850 Hello, hi. My parents live next door, 387 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,753 and I was wonder‐‐ I'm Paul, by the way. 388 00:16:08,785 --> 00:16:10,415 I was wondering, are you a gardener, 389 00:16:10,453 --> 00:16:13,493 or is your partner a gardener, if you have one? 390 00:16:13,523 --> 00:16:16,163 Sorry, I realize this is a strange question. 391 00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:17,692 ‐ We haven't really thought about the garden yet. 392 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:20,697 We've only just moved in. ‐ Right, well. 393 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,230 The thing is that my mum promised the previous tenant 394 00:16:23,266 --> 00:16:25,226 that she would look after her roses, 395 00:16:25,268 --> 00:16:26,798 and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind 396 00:16:26,836 --> 00:16:30,136 if she occasionally popped in to do that. 397 00:16:30,173 --> 00:16:31,843 ‐ Uh... Sure. 398 00:16:31,874 --> 00:16:34,284 Yeah, I suppose. 399 00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:37,580 If she‐‐she won't come in the house, will she? 400 00:16:37,613 --> 00:16:40,523 ‐ No, no, there's a‐‐there's a side gate in the back garden 401 00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:41,380 that she can use; you won't know even know she's there. 402 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,687 She's not a looney. 403 00:16:42,719 --> 00:16:44,349 She just promised her friend, you know. 404 00:16:44,387 --> 00:16:45,617 ‐ Yeah, sure, no problem. ‐ Thank you very much. 405 00:16:45,655 --> 00:16:48,355 Thank you. 406 00:16:51,828 --> 00:16:53,798 Yeah. 407 00:16:53,830 --> 00:16:56,570 Sorry. 408 00:16:56,599 --> 00:17:02,239 ♪ ♪ 409 00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:03,771 ‐ Oh, great. You're here. 410 00:17:03,806 --> 00:17:05,266 ‐ Yeah. Got you this. 411 00:17:05,308 --> 00:17:07,408 ‐ Oh, thanks. Are you having an affair? 412 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,543 ‐ What? ‐ The coffee. 413 00:17:08,578 --> 00:17:09,708 You haven't done that in months. 414 00:17:09,746 --> 00:17:11,276 ‐ Can't I just do a nice thing 415 00:17:11,314 --> 00:17:13,524 and not be having an affair? ‐ I mean, I guess. 416 00:17:13,549 --> 00:17:15,349 ‐ She's called Roxie, and she makes me feel alive, 417 00:17:15,385 --> 00:17:16,785 okay? ‐ [chuckles] 418 00:17:16,819 --> 00:17:17,819 ‐ Right, so what are we doing, then, sweets stall? 419 00:17:17,854 --> 00:17:19,294 ‐ Well, I am. 420 00:17:19,322 --> 00:17:20,292 I think you're over there, on Lucky Dip. 421 00:17:20,323 --> 00:17:21,763 ‐ Oh, so we're not together. 422 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,691 ‐ You know how it is. They like to split us up, 423 00:17:23,726 --> 00:17:25,526 in that divide and conquer kind of way. 424 00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:26,701 ‐ Oh. ‐ You know George. 425 00:17:26,729 --> 00:17:28,529 ‐ Yeah, of course. 426 00:17:28,564 --> 00:17:29,834 Yeah, we're massive taekwondo mates, aren't we? 427 00:17:29,866 --> 00:17:31,296 ‐ Yes. Hello. 428 00:17:31,334 --> 00:17:33,644 ‐ Hello, mate. All right. 429 00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:35,640 Okay, so I'll be over there. 430 00:17:35,672 --> 00:17:37,442 See you in a minute. ‐ Yeah. 431 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:40,713 [bright jazzy music] 432 00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:45,723 ♪ ♪ 433 00:17:45,748 --> 00:17:47,648 ‐ That's it. 434 00:17:47,684 --> 00:17:49,154 That's it. Dig deep, son. 435 00:17:49,185 --> 00:17:51,215 Who knows what could be hidden at the bottom there. 436 00:17:51,254 --> 00:17:54,524 An iPhone, 30 grand in use notes, raisins. 437 00:17:54,557 --> 00:17:56,627 [phone ringing] Oh, excuse me. 438 00:17:56,659 --> 00:18:00,559 Ally: [laughing] ‐ Hello. 439 00:18:00,596 --> 00:18:03,896 Yeah, speaking. 440 00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:06,643 Sorry, who is this? 441 00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,499 ‐ Yes, right, so two of those, one of those, 442 00:18:08,538 --> 00:18:10,538 and a couple of those, please. ‐ Okay. 443 00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:13,413 Can I interest you in an extra gobstopper for 20p? 444 00:18:13,443 --> 00:18:15,383 ‐ George, back me up. Two cola keeps 445 00:18:15,411 --> 00:18:17,551 and a couple of caramel wafers, please. 446 00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:19,180 ‐ These sweets are selling like‐‐ 447 00:18:19,215 --> 00:18:20,575 well, I was gonna say hotcakes, 448 00:18:20,616 --> 00:18:22,146 but I'm looking over at Christine on baked goods, 449 00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:23,685 and to be honest it's a graveyard. 450 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,520 ‐ She's so miserable. That's the trouble. 451 00:18:25,555 --> 00:18:28,415 The kids think all the cake's poisoned. 452 00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:29,528 [phone ringing] Sorry. 453 00:18:29,559 --> 00:18:30,759 Paul? 454 00:18:30,793 --> 00:18:32,133 ‐ Someone called the cops on my mum. 455 00:18:32,161 --> 00:18:33,401 Ally: Police? Why? 456 00:18:33,429 --> 00:18:34,899 ‐ I don't know. It's this garden thing. 457 00:18:34,931 --> 00:18:37,171 I've got to go sort it. Ally: Okay. 458 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,300 Well, let me know how it goes. Give her my love. 459 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,504 Bye. Sorry. 460 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,896 ‐ Back to work. We have a queue forming. 461 00:18:41,938 --> 00:18:43,638 ‐ Right. 462 00:18:43,673 --> 00:18:45,683 More sugar for your developing brains and teeth, yay! 463 00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,308 ‐ Yay. ‐ What can I get you? 464 00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:51,713 ♪ ♪ 465 00:18:51,748 --> 00:18:54,218 ‐ Thanks a lot, mate. Sorry about that. 466 00:19:01,691 --> 00:19:04,161 Hello, did you call the police on my mum? 467 00:19:04,193 --> 00:19:05,633 ‐ Oh, I thought she was lost. 468 00:19:05,662 --> 00:19:07,532 You see an elderly woman in your garden, 469 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,533 and you think she might have‐‐well, not escaped, 470 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,895 but wandered off, maybe, from a facility. 471 00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:15,305 ‐ Well, that's my mum, who's also your neighbor. 472 00:19:15,338 --> 00:19:17,138 And I spoke to your girlfriend about her 473 00:19:17,173 --> 00:19:19,243 coming to do the roses, and she said it was fine. 474 00:19:19,275 --> 00:19:20,435 ‐ I don't have a girlfriend. 475 00:19:20,476 --> 00:19:21,436 One of my housemates, maybe? 476 00:19:21,477 --> 00:19:22,777 Martina? Ema? Nadia? 477 00:19:22,812 --> 00:19:23,852 ‐ I don't know. She was going for a run. 478 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,680 Brown hair. ‐ Martina. 479 00:19:25,715 --> 00:19:28,115 I haven't seen her today. I think she's on her run? 480 00:19:28,151 --> 00:19:29,521 ‐ What, still? 481 00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:31,422 ‐ Look, I'm sorry if I upset your mum. 482 00:19:31,454 --> 00:19:33,664 It was just a weird situation, and I thought the authorities 483 00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:35,430 would be able to deal with it better than me. 484 00:19:35,458 --> 00:19:38,558 ‐ Yeah, no, I understand that. ‐ Those are nice roses. 485 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,304 Tell your mum we'll look after them ourselves. 486 00:19:41,331 --> 00:19:44,171 ‐ It's just a thing that she's become focused on, you know, 487 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,500 because her friend went away, and so the roses are symbolic. 488 00:19:47,537 --> 00:19:49,537 ‐ I get it. Trust me. 489 00:19:49,572 --> 00:19:50,772 We'll take care of them. 490 00:19:50,807 --> 00:19:53,477 ‐ All right, thank you. 491 00:20:01,751 --> 00:20:04,621 Hey, Mum. It's all sorted. 492 00:20:04,654 --> 00:20:07,294 ‐ I wasn't burgling. I was pruning. 493 00:20:07,323 --> 00:20:10,293 I couldn't climb in a window anyway, not with these legs. 494 00:20:10,326 --> 00:20:12,156 ‐ No, I know, the police understand what happened, 495 00:20:12,195 --> 00:20:13,695 and I've just spoken to one of the 700 people 496 00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:15,130 who live next door. 497 00:20:15,164 --> 00:20:17,434 ‐ Oh, okay, and? 498 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,137 ‐ He said he'd look after the roses. 499 00:20:19,168 --> 00:20:21,398 ‐ But will he do it properly, though? 500 00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:24,567 Oh, Lynn's gonna be so upset. ‐ Don't tell her. 501 00:20:24,607 --> 00:20:27,637 She doesn't need to know. She won't remember. 502 00:20:27,677 --> 00:20:30,377 ‐ I'm not sure you can reasonably expect 503 00:20:30,413 --> 00:20:33,723 to go and fiddle around in someone's garden anyway, Mum. 504 00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:36,820 I just don't think that's gonna work, you know, going forward. 505 00:20:36,853 --> 00:20:39,363 ‐ She asked me, though. ‐ But the thing is, 506 00:20:39,389 --> 00:20:42,289 they've moved away now, sweetheart. 507 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,785 Here, have a hug. 508 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:47,697 ‐ You're fucking hug mad these days, aren't you? 509 00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:50,600 ‐ [laughs] 510 00:20:53,936 --> 00:20:55,766 ‐ Why did they move, Lynn and Bob? 511 00:20:55,805 --> 00:20:57,505 They always seem so sprightly. 512 00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:59,440 ‐ Well, Lynn's got dementia. Early stages. 513 00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:01,275 They needed sheltered housing, you know, somewhere with 514 00:21:01,311 --> 00:21:04,281 a warden and all that. ‐ Oh. 515 00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:09,219 ‐ Do you ever get the feeling that everybody's... 516 00:21:09,252 --> 00:21:11,292 missing each other a bit? 517 00:21:11,321 --> 00:21:13,361 ‐ Well, it's the modern curse, isn't it? 518 00:21:13,389 --> 00:21:16,389 We're all on our own islands, like Branson. 519 00:21:17,927 --> 00:21:20,527 [indistinct chatter] 520 00:21:20,563 --> 00:21:22,173 ‐ Jesus Christ. 521 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,898 Can't we just have one horsecocking conversation? 522 00:21:25,935 --> 00:21:28,435 Jesus wept. 523 00:21:28,471 --> 00:21:30,911 Ava: [laughs] 524 00:21:30,940 --> 00:21:34,480 ‐ Ally, come and look at this. 525 00:21:35,578 --> 00:21:38,478 [laughter] 526 00:21:43,419 --> 00:21:44,389 ‐ [humming] ‐ All right, that's good. 527 00:21:44,420 --> 00:21:45,290 Now spin, now spin. ‐ Okay. 528 00:21:45,321 --> 00:21:46,821 ‐ And again! 529 00:21:46,856 --> 00:21:49,156 [indistinct chatter] Ally: What are they watching? 530 00:21:49,192 --> 00:21:52,162 Sweet. 531 00:21:52,195 --> 00:21:56,265 ‐ And I'll pick you up on the second one. 532 00:21:56,299 --> 00:21:57,899 ‐ They are shit at it, though, aren't they? 533 00:21:57,934 --> 00:21:59,504 ‐ Oh. ‐ Absolutely, yeah. 534 00:21:59,535 --> 00:22:01,165 ‐ It's fucking awful. 535 00:22:01,204 --> 00:22:04,174 [upbeat music] 536 00:22:04,207 --> 00:22:11,147 ♪ ♪ 37966

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