Original subtitles

See?

Ready?

Oh! Shit!

Goddamn it!

#Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah #

#I was a teenage anarchist #

#Looking for a revolution #

#I had the style I had the ambition #

#Read all the authors I knew the right slogans #

# There was no war but the class war #

#I was ready to set the world on fire #

#I was a teenage anarchist #

#Looking for a revolution #

#Do #

# You remember #

# When you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire? #

Hello, there. Pennywise from Hermosa Beach, California. How you doin'?

You can take a garbage can and throw it through a car window,

and someone will say, "What the hell are you doing?" You know, it's punk.

You can do...

And just say "I'm punk. "

It's just that kind of willfulness with a bit of insanity thrown in, a whole ton of"Fuck you. "

Goin' against the grain when everyone else tells you no, that's punk rock.

Punk rock was supposed to be about no responsibility, no rules. I'm gonna to do things my way.

In your face. Whaaa!

We're at The Wiltern an hour before Social Distortion is gonna go on,

and Betsy calls me, my wife, she goes, "My water broke. I'm having a baby. "

And I'm just like, "Oh, God. I don't know what to do. "

You're gonna be the proud father of a little girl.

I remember at that point it was like everything went silent.

Some of the guys were like, "What, you're gonna have a kid?"

Having a baby changed everything.

And you hear that. You hear that. And it totally did.

Wade, don't hit him with a stick, please. Thank you.

I was on the street from a real young age. I was headed for trouble.

Our dads weren't there, man. And so, fuck you.

There's nothing really in the punk rock ethos that prepares you for being a dad.

#Do you remember #

# When you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire? #

# When you were young ##

This picture was taken on the day we got to Hawaii,

and I was playing in, uh, Washington, D.C.

It was my birthday.

And I flew home and got in at midnight.

And then woke up the next morning...

and got my kids and packed them up and got on a plane and went to Hawaii.

And then we got there and that was like the first day of vacation...

after I'd been gone for like three weeks.

So, it was, like, "Yay! Everyone's back and it's normal time with Dad around again. "

Are you giving me a doll... a Barbie doll to take with me on the road? Yes!

I don't think she'd be very happy on the road.

She might get in trouble on the tour bus.

I've been doing this for 20 years, being a singer for a punk band.

Rock belt. That's where the magic happens.

Um, I'm not even sure that these are clean.

I just found these, but, you know...

You want me to get you a different pair?

We have a big album coming out.

You know, a lot of touring in front of us.

Got open house at school, I'll be in Myrtle Beach.

Got a birthday party, I'll be in West Palm Beach.

My anniversary, I'll be in St. Petersburg.

Sometimes I'll be here, sometimes I'll be gone.

No, I can't take 20 Barbies. I'll take one.

For the first time, my oldest daughter said, "I hate it when you leave.

You know, I really don't like it. "

It's heartbreaking.

Twenty years on, Pennywise is still rockin' with a new album coming out.

And, of course, Reason To Believe is what that's called.

You're leaving right after the Key Club Show. Aren't you heading toJapan and then down to Australia, and you're gonna do it all.

This is the ever-important shave kit.

Everything in there. Everything I need to keep movin' on the road.

Antacids. Super important, 'cause you eat like shit.

Pennywise is like one of the pillars of punk.

Certainly in the punk of my generation, they are a band that really stayed the course for so many years.

Shake hands all day. Gotta get hand sanitizer.

The hair dye. Gotta keep the dream alive.

Keep people thinking that I'm 20, when I'm twice that age.

Pennywise took us on our first Australian tour ever.

Right then, Pennywise was breaking in Australia. Huge in Australia.

And Blink was nobody back then.

They were like mentors to us.

Trimmer, 'cause now you're starting to get hairs in weird places.

Bunch of hats to hide the "receda. "

Receding hairline has to be hidden from view.

That's okay, guys. I got it.

# I say #

# We're gonna open your eyes #

# Frustration, domination #

# Feel the rage of a new generation #

#We're livin', we're dyin' #

#And we're never gonna stop #

# Stop tryin' #

# Stop tryin' #

# Stop tryin' #

#Stop tryin'##

I have my first two daughters' names tattooed, but, um, I don't have the third yet.

It's taken a long time, and now they're kinda fighting...

over who gets Kate's name on their side.

You're a rose.

And what am I?

I could make you a rhinoceros. What do you want?

I don't know. An armadillo.

No!

Nope. A unicorn.

Unicorn? A butterfly. A butterfly.

Unicorn, I don't know. I think those tattoos have kinda gone out of style.

I want to be a butterfly. You want to be a butterfly?

These are all very girlie tattoos. You got to remember I'm a dude, so...

All right, we have to go. We're gonna be late for this thing anyways.

Bye. Okay. Love you girls. Have them go to bed.

Homework, bath, bed. American Idol. American Idol.

American Idol, bath, bed. Okay, love you. Bye.

I told her this morning...

Uh, I go, "Kate, I'm getting your name tattooed tonight. " And she was so excited.

I think she even wanted to share it at school today during her "share"thing.

Other kids are sharing, like, their dolls...

and mine's sharing that her dad's getting her name tattooed.

#Destination unknown #

#Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Soho #

#Destination unknown #

#Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Soho #

#He's singing #

#And she's there to lend a hand #

#He's seen his name on the marquee, but she will never understand #

I think a lot of the guys in the scene are feeling the same way.

Before, I think, when we were younger, we were all very nihilistic and didn't care. Live for today, live fast.

You know, uh, do whatever you want.

I don't think any of these guys expected to be around this long.

#Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Soho #

Beautiful. Baby Kate.

I'm stoked.

We grew up at a... during a different time.

We were kinda left to our own devices.

I didn't have a male role model.

Male role models in my life were my dad, who left, right?

Didn't-Didn't pay child support.

Didn't, um, own up to his responsibilities.

I used to have to salute him.

"Jack Grisham reporting for inspection, sir," when he got home.

My dad once told me, uh, if I ever get my ears pierced, he'd yank 'em out.

My dad hated me. He hated me.

I don't know what it is, but your thinking changes.

You're that guy that tied a screw out of your neck, and you become Ward Cleaver.

And Ward Cleaver's a prick.

You march right back upstairs, young man, and put on a clean shirt.

All right, homie, I think we're gonna get ready and go to dinner. You got your stuff?

I was doing my chores and I was washing my dad's truck,

and I was listening to a Descendents's song, and he walked out.

It was a song called "Parents. "

And, uh, the, uh... the hook of the song is...

"Parents, why won't they shut up? Parents, they're so f'ed up. "

And, uh, he walked out right when that was playing, didn't like that song.

And I remember he ejected the cassette...

and took it and threw it in the bucket of water I was washing his car with.

# Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker #

#Tits, fart, dirty twat #

# Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker #

#Tits, fart, dirty twat #

I mean, punk rock, in general, is really nihilistic.

It was just about doing whatever you want.

And usually whatever you want meant causing a lot of trouble...

and doing everything that your parents didn't want you to do.

#Tits, fart, dirty twat #

# I fucked your mom ##

Thank you. Thank you so very, very much.

How did we go from rebelling against your own parents to become parents ourselves?

I just remember going out on the blacktop in kindergarten the first time...

and just having all those kids look at me like, "There's something wrong with you,"

and, like, looking at me strange.

And this one guy looked at me and said, "Oh, yeah. You do that.

You make that funny face and we'll go scare the girls. "

I was born totally cross-eyed.

So it'd be like someone who's like with irregular faces scaring kids.

It, you know, had a weird effect on me.

From an early age, I started acting out and acting like a total freak...

just to have people look past my eye condition.

And so right when I entered junior high and I was getting in trouble all the time,

it was right then when this big musical bomb dropped on the cultural landscape...

and altered music forever.

I was 12 years old in 1977.

It was a really important time for me musically,

because that's really when music becomes a huge part of your life.

I started playing with Fear, I guess in 1980 or 1981?

Punk rock had already been going for, like, three or four years or something.

You have to be the perfect stereotypical California teenager.

And if that's not you, you better stand out in some way or else you're a loser.

So, like, for me, it was, like, well, I better find something.

Thank God I got the guitar and started playing it.

I think the L.A. Scene...

I think it was less about fashion than New York or London.

L.A. 's a funny city, you know.

It's just a big, sprawling thing, and people get really lonely here.

L.A. Was more like these kind oflike...

desolate people, kind of desperate people, all kind of coming together.

It was a real feeling of bonding.

And a real feeling of community. And a real feeling of belonging.

#I love livin'in the city #

#I love livin'in the city #

#My house smells just like the zoo #

#It's chock full of shit and puke #

Punk rock, when it started, there weren't so many of us.

So when you were driving down the street, if you saw somebody with purple hair,

you'd pull over and go, "Hey, what are you into, man?"

And it was that instant kinship which was really cool.

It wasn't cool to be a punk rocker. Like you walk down the street, people yelled at you.

They made fun of you. They beat you up. They threw shit at you.

You can't look like you're fitting in to society if you don't want to fit in society.

I used to get beat up every day for having green hair.

And it was a bunch of misfits who all came from the same kind ofbackground.

And you felt like you fit in finally.

You were, like, "Whoa! Where the fuck did this come from? Why didn't I find this last year?"

Here's this group of people that will definitely accept me, no matter how screwed up I am.

And, you know, that was a feeling they couldn't get at home, they couldn't get anywhere else.

And it was important to find that in life, or else you just feel cast out.

I think in Hermosa Beach back then, it was a very strange place to grow up.

Even though we're at the beach and everything's nice and it's clean and with everything we could possibly want,

the underbelly of it all is rotting.

You had this huge military defense complex surrounding you.

You realized that your mom worked for Air Research and your dad worked for TRWworking on satellites.

All these things you read about in the paper are being built, you know, two blocks from your house.

The attacks slashed at North Vietnam with renewed fury.

In our generation, our first images of politicians...

was President Nixon resigning.

I shall resign the presidency effective at noon tomorrow.

You had this spiraling divorce rate in the '70s.

So a lot of broken homes, a lot of anger that couldn't be expressed anywhere else.

It was supposed to be Ozzie and Harriet and the Nelson family, and the perfect little family.

But Vietnam and Nixon and all that came along and ruined it.

It's almost like you're promised the American dream, and you got the nightmare.

But in reality, what can people do?

Do you go throw rocks at windows or do you...

A lot of people decided to play music that sounded like a rock going through a window.

It was like a powder keg ready to explode, and it did.

In all of L.A., a lot of really influential bands came from this area,

but three of the biggest... Black Flag, CircleJerks and Descendents... came from one tiny town.

And you'd see these guys walking around.

But you'd also see their flyers, and they had these really, really aggressive, really dark flyers...

from Raymond Pettibon, that were really subversive.

A lot of them had pretty hard core images on them...

that were against everything in society that we supposedly hold dear... religion, politics.

#Die young #

#Live fast, die young ##

I was part of the Black Flag fan club.

I remember bringing home Jealous Again, the yellow album.

That was the best music I'd ever heard in my life, but especially the voice.

Ron had a very expressive voice.

For me, even to this day, it's the most explosive, genuine, raw album there is.

# I don't care what you think #

#I don't care what you think #

#I don't care what you say #

That was exactly it... "I don't care what you think. "

And I felt that way so deeply.

Like, I don't care what you think.

And to hear that just come right out of those speakers,

it was just like, yeah!

#No, no, no, no, no values #

#No, no, no values ##

I rented a place in this place called The Church.

And it became kind of the mecca for the South Bay punk rock scene...

that emerged in my living room.

When I was about 15 years old, this guy hired me and my friend to work here.

And it was across the street from The Church.

In fact, that's why I took the job. I really didn't want to work at all.

It was huge for me. It was like a little kid having Led Zeppelin living across the street.

So we kind of created this scene out of, like, our rehearsal space.

Everybody was doing everything that you can imagine.

#I was a fuck-up ## That's the one difference from the New York scene...

and the London scene that I saw a lot.

I mean, yeah, they were violent there, but in California it was super violent.

- #I was out of my head # - Black Flag always made me want to go out and drink beer and smash stuff up.

Like, it scared me, but it also gave me like a boner at the same time, you know what I mean?

Just the troublemaking is what attracted me.

#I was so jacked up I was so drunk up #

#I was so knocked out I was out of my head #

#I was so wasted I was wasted ##

And I went to go see, like, Black Flag, and it was really violent.

And people were getting beat up for having the wrong hair.

And I mean beat up, not just like punched. I mean, like, hospitalized.

And, like, constant. It was, like, ambulances taking people away from shows all the time.

We had a lot of friends die along the way.

Some died of an overdose, lot of psychological problems.

So, you know, and obviously, um, the bass player for our band died later on.

And, you know, you saw that happening all the time. So it was like...

We knew the dangers were there.

And that's what a lot of our songs became about, you know...

is, uh, you know, living every day like it's your last, because it could be.

It was angry. It was...

The lyrics spoke to me. The music was loud and abrasive and fast.

The people that I went to school with hated it. They hated me, I hated them.

It was perfect. It was beautiful.

It was beautiful. It was everything I needed.

# Whoa, oh, oh, oh #

# Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh #

# Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh #

# Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh ##

I thought we were gonna change the world.

The whole thing boggles the mind. It's, like, I don't know.

You might say, hey, maybe punk rock was never meant to grow up.

But it did. So too bad.

You know, it's like we're in uncharted territory, you know.

#Happy birthday, dear Brighton #

# Happy birthday to you ##

Hey, don't get so excited, Brighton.

That's it, darling. You can do it.

You can do it. Yay! Yes!

#We are not men We are DEVO #

# D-E-V-O #

# Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba #

It's tough to be a punk rock hero and still be a good authority figure for your kids. It's almost impossible.

When my wife and I decided to have a kid, we made kind of a pact.

Said we're not gonna change our life.

We'll have a good time with the kid. We'll bring this child into our life.

But we're not gonna be... We're not changing.

It pretty much changes everything.

I get up a lot earlier now.

#I never thought about the universe It made me feel small #

#Never thought about the problems of this planet at all #

#Global warming #

I know you're tired.

'Cause it's early.

Can I carry you there?

Yeah, I'll carry you.

You're welcome.

# Why think of all the bad things when life is so good? #

# Why help with an "am" when there's always a "could"? #

#Let the whales worry about the poisons in the sea #

#Outside of California, it's foreign policy #

#I don't want changes I have no reactions #

# Your dilemmas are my distractions #

# That's no way to go, Franco Un-American #

#No way to go, Franco Un-American #

#No way to go, Franco Un-American #

#No way to go, Franco Franco Un-American ##

Got to wait for the toast.

There's no gettin' around that.

There you go, buddy.

# That's no way to go, Franco Un-American #

Our drug use and our sexual perversities...

you know, it's all out there for the public to see.

The two dominatrices on my arm?

The one tied up with the ball gag? I don't know. How do you explain that to a four-year-old?

#Or hang down low with the nice Australians #

#I don't want to be another I- don't-care-ican #

Never.

Never.

#Franco Un-American ##

One bite.

Never. Never.

You will never get a bite.

I think that when you're in a band,

it extends your adolescence through the rest of your life.

The cool thing about what I do for a living...

is that the expectation of me as a father is so fucking low.

I play in a band, and a punk rock band,

and, you know, people see videos and we're running around naked and we're cursing or whatever.

The expectations of me as a parent is flat.

The bar couldn't be any lower.

Because I play in a band, people think that I'm just gonna be this, you know...

I guess, stumble in drunk...

To kindergarten graduation with a cigarette and a hooker.

Um, this is my son Keegan. He is almost eight.

Um, this is Spencer. He's 10. Hi.

And this is Kady, who is nine months old.

Oh, no!

Whoo!

Skaters themselves identified with the punk rock movement.

#Go #

Do it yourself and doing things that are different that maybe the mainstream didn't accept as well.

Um, and it just forced... I don't know, there was a synergy that was pretty obvious...

that-that most of the skaters identify with punk rock.

Bye, Kady. Bye. #Kids in a fast lane livin'for today #

#No rules to abide by and no one to obey #

It is hard to be home and to turn that element off.

It's the biggest challenge of my life, for sure.

#Kids of the black hole ##

Hot on your trail.

I wondered when you were gonna do that.

I thought you were gonna do a fakie.

# Wheels on the bus go round and round #

# Round and round Round and round #

#The wheels on the bus go round and round #

#All through the town ##

I grew up in a family full of yellers, you know.

So people screaming and chaos going on, I feel right at home in it.

Whereas it makes my partners crazy.

And I'm... I-I have to...

I've really worked on myself with anger management to not be as much of a yeller.

I try to save that for stage.

#Yeah, whoo, ohh, ohh #

#Yeah, yeah #

# Whoo, ohh, ohh #

I got a little girl, Natalie, that is 21 months.

And I got a son on the way right when I get off tour.

# Yeah, yeah #

Oh, shit.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. You're okay.

You're okay. You slipped out of my hand. You're all right.

I know. You're okay.

Look... Ah, that really hurt you. You're smiling.

Ah.

Yeah, all daddies mess up.

Daddy!

Oh, I mean, shoot! Shoot!

Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot.

The other day I was driving my son and his friend,

and they were in the car seats in the back.

Jack turned to his friend and said, "You know those bad words?"

His friend said, "What do you mean?"

He said, "Well, words like hate and shit and fuck and fucking...

and fuck you and shut up...

you're not supposed to say those things. "

And I just smiled like, that's my kid.

Like, it's all good.

Stop!

It never dawned on my that at one point I'd be a father...

and have to buy the clean version of my albums to play in the car.

Um, yeah. That's a pickle.

There's certain words that we try not to encourage her to be a part ofher vocabulary.

Those words will inevitably become a part of her vocabulary for sure,

but in the interim, we can at least do our best to, you know...

I don't know, put your finger in the dike and hope that it holds for a while.

How am I supposed to shelter the F-word?

Okay, let's cross this way. Wait, wait. Aren't we gonna do the corner?

Yeah. No, we're goin' straight then across.

Teaching my kids to do the right thing is incredibly difficult.

Hey, Brighton, what did I say?

Okay, Kate, you know how to use your brakes. Yeah.

Okay. Those are very important.

Hey, Brighton Rose, what's that all about?

I said we're going diagonal.

Okay. Well, I'm not sure if that was cool.

#Can't buy you a Cadillac, a diamond ring #

# There's no dough in the ghetto #

#A 9:00 to 9:00 Got a barmy life #

#And I broke all the windows #

I don't want to be one of those guys where you're...

pointing the hose at the kids goin', "Get the hell off my yard. " No way.

# We're gonna run, run, run ##

I try to be a good dad.

Fake seat belt.

Still a rebel.

How about this one? The pink one?

I don't see that pink one. Oh.

Oh, how about this one? This one's like cool hearts and skulls. Look. Hey.

Yeah, let's take my van.

It's cold.

Listen to this.

Ohh! I farted.

Now it's gonna be real stinky in here.

That was a good one.

Oh, she's in a hoity-toity private school.

You can jump from there. Go.

Uh, I don't know, we hang out with her friends'parents, and you know, they're nice enough to us.

They're just all so boring though. Wow!

Hey, wait up, man.

Like, really? That's your... That's the story you're gonna tell me? That was it?

Wow. That was your story. Boy.

Morning. See you later.

I went to volunteer at the school one time.

I went up to the school for something and had no idea I was wearing a shirt that said, "Fuck the police" on it.

Like I was just that clueless.

Um, that was embarrassing.

That definitely was kinda like a "What are you doing, Dad?

You're in the principal's office with a shirt with profanity. "

One, two, three, one, two, three.

I remember one time I was in a ballet class. I was like 12 or 13.

We're like going through our class, and one girl went to go to the bathroom or something,

and she came back and she was like, "Elizabeth"... that was my teacher's name...

She was like, "Elizabeth, there's this really weird guy in the hall. I'm really freaked out. "

And everyone looked out and my dad... I think he had a Mohawk or something.

Was wearing like bondage pants and everyone was like,

"Oh, my God. It's okay. Just stay in there. "

I look and I was like, "Oh, fuck. It's my dad. "

You know, sometimes you think about, like, you know,

"Oh, shit. Should I have tattooed my forehead?" You know.

Park.

We better get there before they shut it down.

But, you know, that lasts about two seconds.

Because, to be honest, I am who I am.

And hopefully, I will instill in my son that you respect people on their merit,

not on the way that they look.

#Said, who would've thought the dreams come true? #

#And who would've thought I ended up with you? #

What's working is that I live in San Francisco.

So you got to basically be naked on fire before somebody's even going to bat an eye at you.

So, I mean, I'm stoked.

What are you doing? And I'm pretty sure there's a lot more open-minded people here.

It's not like I'm in, uh, Little Rock, Arkansas, right now.

Hey, you guys want to know how to clear out a park?

That sounds great, yeah.

Bring the punker... Turn on the camera.

Yeah, bring a punker and the camera.

Get this place to ourselves. High five, pal. High five.

Let's go. Come on. Let's go down the slide.

Lookin'like this, tryin'to raise a kid, that might be a little tougher, you know.

Crazy.

You don't want to do anything that's gonna...

inhibit your child's progression in life.

Because it's the most important thing in my life is this kid now.

I kind of choose not to take on, like, could of, would of, should of, or what will be or whatever.

I kind of just like try to stay in the moment.

And, um, you know, if I can win over her family...

I can win over a fucking school teacher.

You know what I mean? So...

Ohh!

Look, he's eating a poo right in front of you.

How's that taste, dog? Dude.

This lady told me that any bad habits your dog has,

it's actually your fault for not training him right.

So, when he lays a turd, you put some Tabasco on it.

I can imagine my neighbor looking over and seeing me putting Tabasco on a turd and wondering what the hell I'm doing.

Poop's on.

There you go. Try that on for size. See how you like that.

Just the other day I was talking to my kid and I was saying something...

and she looked at me and went like...

And I could tell she had just turned off.

You know, she wasn't listening to me anymore and, like, was giving me like a, "Oh, yeah, sure, Dad. "

And right in the middle I go, "Don't give me that look. That's... I invented that look. "

If you want... If you want to request a Pennywise song, you got to add a "fucking" in there.

In the middle. Like "Every Single Fucking Day. "

Or "Living for Fucking Today. "

"Peaceful Fucking Day. " "Peaceful Fucking Day. "

"My Own Fucking Country. "

"My Own Fucking Way of Life. " "My Own Fucking Way of Life. "

"Wouldn't It Be Fucking Nice?"

You got... You got the fucking picture?

Penny-fucking-wise.

Emma, I'm not gonna warn you again, honey, okay?

Then you're gonna stay home from Allison's.

It's like you're supposed to be a, uh... a model citizen for your little kid...

and show them the right thing to do.

Whereas, you know, I'm the exact opposite of that.

# Fuck 'em all ##

In the beginning, I probably let her do what she wanted, but now I discipline her, for sure.

I never hit her. I never spank her. I pinch her.

Do you want one of these?

Do you want one of these? No!

I just give her, like, the little good pinch on her arm and she goes...

'Cause I don't have the heart to smack her on her hands or her butt.

But, like, I just figure I'll pinch her and she'll get the point, you know?

Ready? #Twinkle #

Hey, I just turned that off.

Hey, I'm turning it off, okay? No.

You know this one, right?

Not all of it.

Sing a part that you know.

I don't know all of it.

You know how it goes?

I'll start it. # Now I'm standing on a... #

# Rooftop #

# Ready to fall #

# I think I'm at the... #

# Edge now #

# But I could be... # #Wrong #

# Now I'm standing on a... #

That's all I know. That's all you know?

# Ready #

# I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall #

# I think I'm at the edge now, but I could be wrong #

# I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall #

# Look out #

# Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall #

Now we have to put it in the oven. The oven? We're not putting this in the oven.

I've never microwaved peanut butter before.

What if it... explodes?

You scared me.

#... won't take me #

# Heights don't phase me #

# So take a step #

# But don't look down Take a step #

# I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall #

I think Mom and Dad make the rules.

I think that's how it goes. Right?

You're in charge of your playhouse? Mm-hmm.

Okay.

How many playhouses do you have? Are you a playhouse tycoon?

Right now, Boston!

We got to take care of each other!

We'll see you next time! Peace!

Ron, can you show us where you live, please?

You mean, like, specifically, like where I sleep? Yeah.

Okay, well, this room is where I live.

This is... This is a two-room apartment here, right? Yeah, this is a...

I can't rent a house because I owe the gas company money.

I owe the electrical company money. I owe the telephone company money.

So I can't rent a house under my name.

So I might as well live in a fucking closet for $ 16.00 a month, you know.

I think what's happening is, like, with me, I'm noticing that actually...

I've turned a little bit more into my dad...

than I would have ever thought I would have.

Let's go inside.

Oh, no. Oh, no? What do you mean, oh, no?

This is a great record. I wonder if they have the first Blondie record?

Um...

I would go for this one... Dirty Deeds...

because it's got my favorite AC/DC song on it. It has my favorite.

"Ride On. " It has "Rocker" on it.

Okay, so there you go.

This one has your dad on it.

This was recorded in Hermosa Beach where we used to live. Where I used to live, of course.

So, um, yeah, what a trip.

Me and Jessica Mclntryre looked up you on Wikipedia and we found...

a bunch of stuff.

That's hilarious.

When Di and I had kids,

we tried hanging on to some of that, you know.

Going out, going to gigs, getting a little bit wasted...

and coming back and, like, you know, trying to breast-feed and change diapers.

And it just... It doesn't work.

And God bless anybody who's made it work.

But for us, it was like, "This is not gonna work. "

I don't know if it was a conscious thing. We didn't sit down one day and say, "Hey, let's not be punk rockers anymore. "

But there was a definite, uh, switch in priorities as far as our life priorities.

And it became more like, "Well, because, you know, I actually have to pay for these diapers. "

#A guitar #

#Collects dust like his heart #

#Soundless and still #

#A girl collapses on her bed #

You get some kids and you realize they need to have their diapers changed,

they need to go to the doctor, you need health insurance.

And then you need a house for them and then you need clothes and you have a mortgage.

And then all of a sudden the system that you are fighting against or trying to change,

you become part of that system.

# We walk alone with our troubled minds #

#A guitar #

#Strikes a chord #

#Hits a misery so hard, so bold #

Everybody who has high ideals at some point has a crisis,

you know, when they have to actually get food on the table and take care of other people.

No one joined Pennywise to make money. No one joined Rancid to make money.

No one, uh... We didn't start the Vandals to make money.

It kind of slowly became a job and what we did for a living.

We're a working-class band.

It's not like we have Learjets picking us up...

or, you know, manservants doing stuff for us.

Are you really supposed to make money from, uh... from rock music?

Do you deserve an income from rock music, especially if you want to have kids too?

Isn't rock music for the wild, rambling guy...

who maybe has kids he doesn't know about in each town?

And doesn't pay his taxes. And has a drug problem.

And dies when he's 34, 35.

#It's time to bring it back ##

Your life goes through stages, and I don't think any of us when we started punk rock,

uh, looked at punk rock as a career decision...

with a long-term, uh, career path and a pension plan.

It's funny in the punk scene, because, you know, I try to always instill that Pennywises,

the Bad Religions, the NOFX's,

the bands are starting to go on their 20, 25 years of existence.

And it's not been that meteoric rise and fall of these bands.

It's just been a steady... how do you make this a steady business?

Oh, God, it's killing everybody, dude.

How long do you think you can keep doing it...

and, you know, supporting your kid and helping out with the...

I mean, as far you want to count on record sales, it's over, man.

I mean, right now it is.

I mean, there's no way we're gonna make any money on record sales.

For a long time, we stayed on an independent label,

but it just... this last album...

it just got to the point where that's not gonna be viable for us anymore.

Everybody, it's Fletcher from Pennywise.

I've been meaning to ask... the new record,

it's been put out on Myspace for two weeks, right?

You guys feel good about this new chapter in the Pennywise history?

I mean, yeah. Obviously we've been on Epitaph for about 16 years or something like that.

It's probably the greatest independent label in the world.

Uh, like a family to us. And just can't say anything but good things about Epitaph.

But with the way the music industry's been over the last couple of years,

and people not buying records anymore and record stores closing,

we just wanted to change it up a little bit.

I've never judged them for it for one second, you know.

I think a band... it's-it's difficult to make a living as a musician.

And a band's gotta do what they gotta do to get paid out there.

Something I read, put a lot of thought into, that entity is owned by...

a huge, multinational conglomerate,

which is probably the worst words you can mention in the punk arena.

Just the other day I went there for the first time for a meeting...

and walked into the lobby, and literally the hairs on my back stood up.

And I'm just like, "Oh, my God. I'm in the monster. "

I'm standing in the lobby of the monster, and there's Fox News on the wall.

Well, at this point, everything with meaning in this world better be prepared to be a brand.

I always joke there's this place called Hot Topic at malls.

I always call it the big church of the commodification of subculture.

Because it's where, like,

every bizarre subculture can be friends at the mall.

So you've got your, like, Sex Pistols baby T's,

you've got your anarchist's bracelets,

your, like, little Goth chokers, you know,

your Tim Burton ephemera, your Slip Knot, your speed metal, your surfer, whatever.

They're all friends. They're cheap.

You know, this is corporate culture eating everything that exists up.

#Let me take you to the herding ground #

# Where all good men are trampled down #

#Just to settle a bet #

The Pennywise deal that we did,

we worked with Pennywise to give their album away for free,

and we found a sponsor to make sure that Pennywise, um, was able to get paid for their art.

Now what was the... what was the rationale behind giving it away?

We thought it would be a cool way to give back to the fans.

We figured if we... if we don't sell any records,

then, uh, we'll be cool with just getting some new fans.

#And there will be sorrow #

Some people compare the digital revolution, the Web revolution...

to the industrial revolution.

It's really more significant than that.

Stores are no longer necessary.

Little shiny disks are no longer necessary.

The trucks that ship the content back and forth are no longer necessary.

The warehouses are no longer necessary.

And probably the record companies themselves are no longer necessary.

# There will be sorrow no more #

#No more ##

I think for some reason rock musicians are judged on a much stricter standard...

than anyone else in our society... I have no idea why.

You make one wrong turn, they call you a sellout or something like that.

You know, you sell an MP3 for 99 cents and they think you're ripping someone off.

You know, where they have no problem,

you know, paying $3.99 for a crappy coffee at Starbucks, and it's not even a free-trade product.

You know, it's like exploiting some... some peasant in Nicaragua.

You know what I mean? They'll go down there and chug it...

and then they'll fill up their car with Shell Oil, right?

And then they'll get mad at a band...

for being in a, uh... in a Nike commercial... having their music in a Nike commercial...

when they're fucking wearing Nikes.

Forget punk. Just ask yourself as a person...

Is it... How is one supposed to operate ethically in this world...

while at the same time pay your way?

And the reality of having to make money and keep your family supported...

and then being home, there's this huge kind of sacrifice on both ends.

The wife and the husband trying to figure out that balance.

What are we paying for? What are these checks for?

P.E. Clothes, yearbook, planner,

P.T.A. Membership and foundation.

P.E. Clothes? Did I have to pay for P.E. Clothes?

You know what?

I mean, Pennywise, to make a living, have to work.

And Pennywise work means...

getting up on stage...

and entertaining those who are willing to pay money to see them do so.

They just got to learn to kick ass live, that's what it's all about.

You got to really know how to play music.

Well, now what you may have noticed is, uh, bands that,

you know, would tour once a year, are now coming home once a year.

Um, I'm sorry I have to miss your thing tonight,

but I want you to do really good, okay? Okay.

Buckle up.

#All my bags are packed and ready to go #

#I'm standin'here outside the door #

#I hate to wake you up to say good-bye # Okay, everyone, be super good to Mom while I'm gone, right?

#But the dawn is breakin' It's early morn #

# The taxi's waitin' He's blowin'his horn # Love you.

#Already I'm so lonesome I could die #

# 'Cause I'm leavin'on a jet plane #

#Don't know when I'll be back again #

#Oh, babe, I hate to go #

Then you have a good tour and it's easy to keep going.

I love everything about Pennywise... their sound, their aggression on stage. Just everything.

Pennywise is sick. Pennywise is great.

I just like the basic beat and, like, the singer. I like everything about it.

It's this sick, fast-paced punk band.

Explosiveness, like when they're singing on stage.

I mean, there's Black Flag, there's, you know, all kinds of good stuff.

But Pennywise will always,

always be in the top category of any punk rock bands, period.

# 'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane #

#Don't know when I'll be back again #

#Oh, babe, I hate to go #

Right now I feel happy about it.

I understand that we're goin'out there to play music and do somethin'for our fans,

and I think we're still playing good music...

and stoking our fans out, which is what it's all about.

As long as we're doing that, I'll keep doing it... well, for a little while longer.

As long as they keep their live show...

as much fun and as good as it is,

I think, you know,

no reason they can't go another 10 or 20 years.

#Oh, kiss me and smile for me #

# Tell me that you'll wait for me #

#Hold me like you'll never let me #

# You'll never let me go #

# 'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane #

#Don't know when I'll be back again #

#Oh, babe, I hate to go ##

Well, I just checked in to my hotel in, uh, Austria.

- Bologna, Italy. - Hamburg.

- Milan. - Sardinia.

Landau, Germany.

8:00 in the morning...

on a flight back to Milan.

Vocals shot, as usual.

#Hey, where have you gone? #

# You used to be the one #

# That we looked up to #

#Seemed like nothing could get you down #

#How high was your price #

#And was it worth it? #

Write an "R."

#From the start #

#In the end #

#It's all a question ofheart #

#Hey, where have you gone? #

# You used to be the one that we looked up to #

#Seemed like nothing could bring you down #

#How high was the price and was it worth it? #

Kids sense an intrinsic value to a live performance.

It's something that they're part of.

It's something that's only gonna happen right then and there,

for that moment, and then it's gone.

And so they put a value on it,

and that's one of the places where artists can make money now.

That's, like, maybe the main place for most bands.

#Hey, where did it go? #

#Everything we fought for #

#And everything it meant #

Touring is really something for people that are in their 20s to do anyhow.

# Who I am, who I was #

# Who I wanna be ##

The idea of touring at my age...

is hard work.

I'm not in a band that's at a level...

that comfort is always... there.

As the bands get older, you know,

it's like, "Boy, this isn't for me, you know.

I want a hotel. " They deserve it.

But I'm still trying.

Oh, yeah? What's the hotel? The Econo Lodge.

The Econo Lodge.

#Everyday I convince myself #

#Of everything I can and can't believe #

#Abused, confused #

#Everyday you get a little bit older #

#And everything gets hard You wonder why #

#Afraid, deranged #

#Hold on to your promise #

# You can use it for a crutch #

It doesn't matter who the band is, it's all Spinal Tap.

Everybody... No matter what you say, you know, you're playing the same kind of venues,

and you have the same kind of crews and the same kind of flights...

and the same kind ofbad hotel food...

and bad hotel experiences.

Okay. Let's see what we got here.

We got a chicken sandwich, but...

the bread has, like, weird pimentos.

Oh, man!

What the hell is this? Look at this stuff.

This is what I'm talkin' about. Like, what is that?

I don't even know what that is.

It looks like a huge, flattened booger.

I don't know what to do with that.

#Afraid, deranged #

#Hold on to your promise #

- # You can use it for a crutch # - My earl

#Stand by while all your dreams get trampled into dust ##

This is the bunk area where everyone sleeps.

Usually when we're rollin' down the road,

there's anywhere from 10 to 12 guys...

sleeping in here at once.

So it smells like a combination...

of ass, farts, feet...

and, um, a hint of balls in there too.

I don't know where he is sometimes,

and I don't know where he is right now.

I think he's going to lots of different places.

Yeah. Once he went to Texas.

Stay on the bus.

Right now I'm starting to realize,

like, I don't wanna do it this way anymore.

You know, I don't wanna sell the band out...

at every possible opportunity.

I wanna... I want to just play to our fans at the place that we wanna play.

I don't wanna do a bunch ofhype.

I don't want to do all these things that people think you have to do to make a band successful.

Oh, that's pretty bad.

Oh, fuckin' right, it's great to be here.

What happens to a lot of guys... You get up there and you're just sarcastic.

"Hey, Chicago. How you doin'? Who gives a fuck?

All right. What's goin'on today? How you feelin'?"

And then you're, like, "I'm a dildo. I'm just...

I'm not the real thing, you know?

I'm just up here. "

You know, insert "Milwaukee" where "Chicago" was.

Oh, it's great to be here tonight. Have I said that yet?

I'm just being honest, 'cause a lot of guys won't tell you this.

They'll go up there and be, like, "No, the show last night was rockin'."

But they won't tell you they have hemorrhoids...

and their liver's fallin'apart because they had to drink, you know, a pint of whiskey...

to get into their personality for the show.

And they're a frickin' mess, you know.

Or they're like me... They're on Ambien and, you know, hair dye.

In Japan I was so sick from the night before...

because everyone wanted to party with me.

I started feeling nauseous in the van.

I was, like, "Oh, my God. I feel nauseous, dude. "

I was, like, "I gotta puke. I gotta puke. "

They opened up the fucking sliding door, and the guy's holding me down.

I'm throwing up out on the side of the freeway, dude. Like...

I saw Fletcher one time throw up in the crowd one time.

Yeah, that's great. I saw him go... He's all...

You know... Throw-up flies out of his mouth, dude.

It turns out... Like pictures like crazy of him.

Throw-up coming right out of his mouth, guitar in his hand, dude. He's, like...

He's an artist. He's a vomit artist.

When I'm on tour, I'm drunk every day.

For sure. I will not play sober.

And I'm not one of those guys who has a couple drinks before a show.

You know, I will have four vodka drinks and maybe a Valium.

Let's just get this one thing straight...

MichaelJackson... wow, he wrote some good songs,

but he was a fucking child molester, so fuck him.

This song is for MichaelJackson...

because this was actually the theme song of Neverland.

Here we go. It's called "Fuck Da Kids. "

# Fuck da kids, fuck da kids #

# Fuck da kids, fuck, yeah, yeah ##

Every road guy, to me, is an actor.

I mean, you have to make them think that this song...

you fucking hate now, you hate playing it,

you don't even listen to it anymore,

but you are playing it.

To this person, it fucking means the world to them.

He can't believe you're singing this right in front of him,

and it's his one night out and your 900th night out.

You're looking at your watch. "How you doin'?"

I got three days left.

# I named this Randy With a can I am handy #

#Watch what I can do Fuck all of you ##

If you're touring with your band, the pettiness of traveling on the road...

is ridiculous at times.

# My name is Randy I look likeJamie Foxx #

Let me hear ya. # If you ask me what I like, I'll tell you I like cocks #

Okay. Here it is.

# My name is Fletcher and I am real big #

# I cannot see my penis, but I sure can find a fork #

The other guys, I mean, especially Fletcher, man,

he wants to just keep doing this forever, you know.

At least I don't have hemorrhoids.

At least I don't come back from the bathroom, fuckin' talkin' about,

"Oh, my God. That outhouse... code red. You don't wanna see what happened in there. "

Well, at least I don't pee in the sink.

Hey, the sink's a perfect height. # Fletcher pees in the sink #

Sink's a perfect height. #What do you think? #

Yeah. Big fuckin' deal.

I'm fuckin' drunk again. Goddamn it.

Couple of the other guys in the band don't have kids,

and, um, you know, they wanna keep going.

They wanna go out there and rage...

and go out and party every night and play shows.

That's totally fine. That's great.

If you don't have kids to consider, that's an easy decision.

When you'reJimmy from Pennywise,

and you're drawing anywhere from 1,500 to 5,000 kids,

and that's anywhere... not in the state, country-slash-the world...

and you've got three other people that are counting on you to keep it going,

no longer are you just like... you're the singer.

Like you can't go, "Oh, yeah, dude. Pennywise withoutJimmy, that's cool. "

You know, it's like no one can replace the singer. It doesn't work.

This band was fuckin' built on fuckin' backyard parties...

and fuckin' Budweiser,

and we're never gonna stop...

until I have to get a liver transplant,

and then I'm gonna fuckin' slow down for, like, a couple weeks.

Punk rock singers should be up there bleeding and drunk...

and, you know... How we doin' up there?

Off their tree every night.

That's who they want you to be.

They want you to be the tragic figure...

of Darby Crash or Sid Vicious...

and, you know, get on heroin and get drunk...

and play totally fucked up and break bottles over your head.

Who wants to be that every day? You'll be dead by the time you're 30.

It's like, you know, you write a song when you're 18,

like "Fuck the world. I'm gonna die before I get old. "

But then you get old, and you don't wanna die.

Dyeing the goatee a little bit.

Gettin' a little gray. Don't wanna disappoint the kids,

let 'em think I'm gettin' old.

So,

a little hair dye on the old beard.

Look young again.

Don't tell anyone I'm doin' it though.

Don't want the secret to get out.

We were going through the set for the next Blink tour that starts this summer,

and, uh, there was a couple songs that got cut...

'cause I'm, like, "Look, I'm 37. I'm not singin' about jerking off...

Right now. "

Yeah, sometimes you feel like a birthday clown.

There's definitely that element in there.

It's, like, "All right. These are little kids, and you're entertaining 'em.

Why not make a balloon animal, you know? They'd probably like that too. "

Live fast, die, uh, a little bit older.

I don't wear boots and go do random acts of nihilistic destruction.

Even though I thoroughly enjoyed doing so...

as a teenager, right?

I think that's probably the right time to be doing it, you know.

If you do it at my age, you're a terrorist.

Here, let's play catch with that diaper behind your head. There's a dirty diaper.

Throw it to me. Come on! Let's have some fun.

I've been touring a lot in the last three years with Nine Inch Nails.

It's tough finding the balance,

and I consciously work at that because I work a lot.

What do you think's in there... one or two?

Throw it, we'll figure it out. You know, I think it's two actually.

Just go ahead, throw it to me.

#So fresh, so clean # Whoa!

I don't know. It's questionable. It's kinda heavy.

Oh, gee! You gotta catch it.

This was his to begin with. Here.

Can you play catch? Yeah.

This isn't even the most screwed-up part of the whole thing, playing catch with a dirty diaper.

As my oldest son gets older, it's getting harder.

You know, the more he turns into his own person,

the more he and I have this bond that continues to get stronger and stronger,

and he's turning into a little boy,

it's just tough being gone, and now we've got this newborn.

Go!

Go, Augie.

It's the late-night phone calls where he's sad, or asking me when I'm gonna come home.

That's the worst part.

The rate and the volume that Nine Inch Nail's been touring,

I just couldn't keep up with it right now. You know what I mean?

Augie.

You know, I left the band strictly because of that.

Uh, because, uh, I needed to be around more.

Yeah, there's the "wa-wa. "

No, we're not walking down to it though.

We can look at it from across the street.

All right. We're running a little bit late, okay, so let's keep going.

All right. Jacket off.

I need to go to the bathroom. We'll get your jacket off, and we'll go to the bathroom.

My child is five years old. I've never been home for a Halloween.

You know, I've never seen her on Halloween day...

or with her trick-or-treating.

It's little things like that... that sort of... that are sad moments that you miss, that you sacrifice.

That's the hard part for me,

is knowing that there's things I wanna be present for.

Okay, go jump in the car.

I missed the first day of school for my kid this year...

to go to Europe and do extra shows that I didn't wanna play,

but the guys really wanted to do 'em and thought they were important.

I hope my kids understand one day that the reason I went on tour...

is so I can give them everything.

Is that gonna... Oh, ballpoint pen. Okay. You got it.

Should we go see if Brighton's coming up the street yet?

It's only exactly 3:00, so I'd be surprised if she made it home yet, but...

So how was the first day, you guys? Good.

Was it fun? Did you guys have a good time? Yeah.

Ready, get together. One, two.

One more. One, two. Emma, stop it.

Okay. One more. One, two.

Hello.

Hi. We can't see you. Yes.

Can you see me? Daddy! Lookit. There he is.

Hi! I fixed it.

# I am DEVO # Are they there?

And Kelly was here, and we went school shopping. # I am DEVO, hoo-hoo #

Oh, you went school shopping with, uh, my sister? Kelly. We went to go get supplies.

Uh-huh. Where are you?

There you are. How come you can see us?

I don't know. You just had me, and now I'm gone. Uh-oh. Get yourself back.

It's not quite the same unless we can see you. I'll try.

Daddy, let me tell you about my day, all righty?

Okay. How was it? Kate's trying to be in front of me, so I'm gonna wait till...

Good confetti. Okay. Go ahead.

Okay, Dad. So do you want to hear about my whole entire actual live day?

Yeah. Let's hear it.

Dad?

Growing up, my dad was a salesman and had to wine and dine clients,

you know, after work.

And he missed out on baseball games and stufflike that.

I'll never forget this one game that I pitched, and I got...

I pitched a two-hitter and we won the game.

After the game, I, you know, wanted my dad to be proud of me.

I came out, and he showed up at the end of the game and missed it all.

Even though I love my dad and stuff, I was, "How could you miss that and not be there for me?

Like, that was such an important thing, and I wanted you to be proud of me.

I won the game, and everyone cheered for me. "

Even though it was a long time ago, it still sticks with me,

and I don't want to do that to my kid, you know.

It's, like, I don't want them ever to be, like, "Where were you?"

When I had my daughter,

that's when I started to really get angry at my dad.

I didn't go to the park with my dad. I never went to a game with my dad.

I never did anything with him.

I was asking him about it. He was, like, "Yeah, yeah. Your mom used to make me take you on weekends,

you know, twice a month, but I didn't want you around. "

And he would, uh... he would be at the pool at his adults-only apartment building,

and I'd be inside, watching TV.

I don't understand why they would let me just roam the streets as a kid.

When I was growing up, came home from school,

and, you know, when the streetlights come on,

it's time to come home.

So that's a solid, like, three or four hours...

where they just had no clue where I was or anything.

That is wheels off.

And they'd just drop us off at the park. "All right. We'll come back in two hours.

You guys have fun. "

And that was normal.

For the first 10 years of my life, I was raised...

from a single parent.

My mom was a single parent.

My dad left when I was real young.

I had a stepdad who had a lot of major substance abuse problems.

My mom was a full-time worker and didn't really have time...

and wouldn't know what I was doing.

I once asked my dad...

what the difference between a Republican and a Democrat is,

and his answer was, "We're Republicans, Son. "

So I don't know if that tells you.

I just was not happy with my family life.

I just didn't like my whole thing.

My mom was so overboard Christian,

and my dad was a gun fanatic.

He trashed my place.

He ripped off my posters and broke my records.

And I ran away from home.

My parents divorced at nine...

when I was nine, so I had to be dad.

My father left when I was four, five.

You know, took that walk for the cigarettes and didn't come back.

So we ended up on the welfare thing, eatin' the welfare food...

Velveeta and the big cans and all that shit.

The police would come and knock on my window and sneak us out...

because my stepfather was in another part of the house with a gun,

threatening to shoot everybody in the house.

But it's made me want to be a better dad.

I try to catch myself when I see my dad coming through.

I learned something about my father...

and every other man that's walked out on their kids.

I learned that there are some people in the world that don't deserve children,

and, um, that they really don't deserve them.

I mean, because my parents just didn't really do it.

They weren't really present, and, you know,

um,

I don't think that they were really focused on the job at hand.

I don't think that they knew, you know?

And I just, like, for me, I saw this little girl that I loved so much,

and I wanted to be there for her at all times and to be there...

You know, when she was real young, like, I stopped doing everything.

I stopped drugs, and I stopped drinking.

I stopped smoking weed. It was, like, "I'm gonna be here for you. "

And whether I'm on the other side of the world,

when you talk to me on the phone, I'm gonna be present, you know?"

And, like...

That's what parents are supposed to do, you know.

So I guess it's like I feel sad because I just feel like, you know,

that my parents... it's kind of sad to me...

'cause they just never understood that.

# Father of mine #

#Tell me where have you been #

#Just close my eyes #

# My whole world disappeared #

I just remember being a really sweet boy...

that wanted everybody to just behave.

I wanted my daddy would be my daddy and my mama to be my mom.

And when I was six, my dad split to Florida.

He didn't pay child support.

# Father of mine #

#Take me back to the day #

#Yeah, when I was still your golden boy #

# Back before you went away #

# I was 10 years old #

#Doing all that I could #

#Wasn't easy for me to be a scared white boy #

# In a black neighborhood #

I was... I was abused. I was sexually raped by older boys in the neighborhood...

when I was living in the projects.

#Never be safe #

# I will never be sane #

# I will always be weird inside #

# I will always be lame #

One of the things of the therapy I'm in right now,

I'm dealing with a lot of the trauma that happened to me as a kid,

as I go back as an adult...

and comfort me as a child.

# Father of mine #

#Tell me how do you sleep #

#With the children you abandoned #

#And the wife I saw you beat #

When my daughter Anna was born, I remember...

she was born in the early afternoon.

I remember sitting down on the couch...

in our apartment...

and feeling this weight, physical weight on me,

like I had never felt.

It just felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.

I had no idea how to do this. I can barely take care of myself.

#I'm a grown man #

# With a child of my own #

#And I'll swear I'm not gonna let her know #

#All the pain I have known #

# Daddy gave me a name #

#Daddy gave me a name #

# Then he walked away #

#Daddy gave me a name #

# Then he walked away #

#Daddy gave me his name #

#Then he walked away #

#Then he walked away #

#Then he walked away, yeah ##

Okay, I'm gonna go outside and work. You wanna work on the tomatoes?

Plant that stuff? I am.

Dari, you wanna help me? No? All right.

Come on, Nico. Let's do it.

You got the directions? Do you have the seeds?

Let's do these over here.

We're gonna test natural selection is what we're gonna do.

Then we'll have to pull out the strong... keep the stronger ones.

'Cause those are gonna be the ones that'll make the tomatoes.

It's really hard growing something from a seed. I'll be impressed if this actually happens.

When Mary and I got married, we wanted to have children.

That was in the plan.

And the pregnancy went really well.

But then something went wrong, and she had a stillbirth.

And, um, I said, "Can I see the baby?

You know, bring me the baby. "

They'd wrapped her up and sat and let me hold her and let me sit with her.

I talked to her and read her a story.

Just... Just tried not to lose my mind.

So I can still see that baby. I can still see Anabella, you know.

I can still see her face.

She looked just like her mother.

These kids need you, man.

"Cat's in the Cradle" is so real.

You know, that song?

You know, promisin'the kid, "And we'll get together then, Son. "

You know, "We'll have a good time then. "

That's him when he was young,

him and his brother sleepin', you know.

Just stuff... a lot of stuff when I wasn't there,

like what he was doin'.

Those were his shoes he was wearin',

his last cup.

This is his little thing when he was nine.

That was him.

He just got this, his first tattoo. "Peters. "

So all the nephews and brother...

and everybody's got... I even got one.

Can you see it?

#My son, you're gone #

#Had a little fun #

#Good-bye My God, I'm numb #

#Now you're gone #

My kid was comin' down a street that was just about to get on to the freeway.

This guy couldn't wait, and he went to make a left right in front of my son,

and my son, in front, instead of hittin' him,

tried to... he veered.

He didn't go to the hospital or nothin'.

He was in the worst car crash the towing company had seen in 10 years.

The car was split in two, wrapped around a pole.

They had to take two trucks to...

He was killed instantly.

It was just so gnarly. It was, like, where was he?

It was so gnarly in this thing.

#My boy, I see you smile #

#Can feel you right beside me #

#My sweet child #

#I miss the games #

#I miss the school plays ##

My first parental instinct...

when I heard my kid was killed...

Ah, got an answer. Got a gun.

Running to the gun. Half-ass suicide.

Aaah. Do I really wanna... blah, blah, blah.

Whoa, it's kinda gnarly.

Blah, blah, blah. This was the answer.

My kid needs a jacket.

Uh, warm... somethin' to eat.

You know what I mean?

This is a gnarly trip.

I gotta go find him before he gets too far away.

And I was just running to go get my gun.

I was almost happy, kind of,

and there was not gonna be any hesitation.

And in a matter of a second,

my, uh, other two boys came up,

and I got so fuckin' bummed, I collapsed...

and totally seized up and shit.

So I couldn't go nowhere.

You know? I can't go nowhere.

We've been through a lot,

and, uh, this is the most important job a person can have...

is that of a parent.

And anybody who's lucky enough to have children needs to understand that.

This has to be everything.

It's funny, you always hear about people saying, like, uh...

That thing, the classic parent attitude of, like, to a kid,

like, "I brought you into this world! I gave you life, you know!"

Like, I think completely opposite.

Like, my kids gave me life. You know?

They gave me a reason.

To become a real parent, whether you're a father or a mother,

you have to... there has to be this almost physiological change,

definitely a psychological and spiritual change.

There's a... There's a couple of kids in the back of that wagon.

The baby in the back... that's mine.

This is Arizona.

Mmm.

The transition that I was talking about, I think once it happened for one child,

it was kinda in for, not just any other child I have,

but for any child I ever see.

I'm the kind of person, that if a kid's running loose at the airport,

I'll pick 'em up.

Of course I'm sure I've freaked a lot of parents out.

You know, "Where's my baby?

Oh, that blond man with the tattoos and earrings is carrying her.

Oh, that's... that's cool.

That's kind of scary. "

But I think once they meet me and they see the way I hold a baby,

they know that I'm a dad because kids know that I'm a dad.

I want to be present for my children, mentally and physically,

and being gone all the time just doesn't work into that.

What, what, what, what, what, what?

Being home for a day or two here and there...

really doesn't give you that bonding that you need.

Being a parent is such an indescribable thing...

that when you talk to people... friends who don't have kids...

and are maybe thinking about it or maybe, like, a friend whose wife is pregnant,

they're, like, "Oh, man, what's coming? What's gonna happen?"

And you're, like, "I'm gonna tell you this. It's gonna change every single thing in your entire world,

and I tell you that right now, but it'll be 10 times that when it actually happens. "

It just really is like, uh...

It's like red matter from Star Trek, you know?

It just sucks everything in, and your whole world just becomes...

this right here,

and it's the most amazing thing ever.

My family comes first, regardless of anything,

and that's the beautiful thing about Rancid...

is that, like, me and Matt both have kids.

I'm real lucky 'cause I've got guys that I work with are super-involved...

and super, um...

I mean, they get it. They understand.

They love those kids too.

So I've been really lucky with that.

Okay, give me your foot.

#Happy birthday to you #

I love you. I love you.

Thank you very much, girls.

Daddy, guess what? What?

You get to a certain point in your life... What have I done and where am I going?

And I think guys, girls, women, men...

They end up going through it at this time, you start saying,

"Do I like who I am, and do I want to continue being this person?"

What I'm getting at is, this is a midlife crisis.

You know, spelled out in a band.

- Hi, Dad. - Hey, kiddo. What are you doin'?

Dad, I did my guitar every day.

You practiced your guitar every day?

Yup. Every day?

Yeah. Even today?

Yeah. Yeah?

Awesome, B. I'm so proud of you.

#Am I loud and clear #

# Or am I breakin' up #

You look out the window, and you have a lot of time...

of thinking about your family and your kids getting older.

# Or are we just getting more lost #

Then all of a sudden you find yourself... the years start going by quicker,

and you need to find how you get off the road.

I moved some dates around, so I'm flying home from Texas...

for the father-daughter dance.

But the band doesn't know that.

I'm sure when they find out why I switched the shows, they're all gonna be pissed.

# We live on front porches and swing life away #

# We get by just fine here on minimum wage #

My middle daughter has never had just me alone for the father-daughter dance.

She's always had to share me with her older sister.

And I have to go to the dance and dance with two of'em at once.

Beautiful.

My middle daughter definitely likes having just me and just my attention,

so this is the one year that she will have that.

# We live on front porches and swing life away #

# We get by just fine here on minimum wage #

#Iflove is a labor, I'll slave till the end #

#I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand #

#Swing life away #

#Swing life away #

#Swing life away ##

I'm willing to piss everyone off to make my daughter happy.

The other day I get a five-page letter from the band...

saying that I don't appreciate what we have...

and, you know, basically, that I'm an asshole because I won't tour enough...

and won't tour as much as they want, you know.

I feel like this year I've toured twice as much.

Just looks like every other downtown city I've been in in the last frickin' month and a half.

I added it up... We did, like, 115 shows this year.

I'm definitely burnt out from playing shows...

and just need a little break.

Fuck. # I need a Red Bull #

This isn't something that has a lot of precedent.

If you're a big rock star, you know, it's no question.

You go on tour, you make millions of dollars.

And then if you're a small band, people know that you can't continue to do it past a certain age.

I'm, uh... You have a list for Club Nokia?

When you're right in the middle like this, it's kind of difficult.

Last name: Lindberg. L- I-N-D-B-E-R-G.

Do you have Fletcher Dragge, Byron...

Lindberg.

James orJim.

Yeah. Yeah.

Motherfucking Pennywisel

Los Angeles, we are Pennywise from Hermosa Beach.

How you doin'?

Whoo-hoo!

Are you ready?

Let's do this shit.

All right. Let me hear you scream!

We got to see the world.

We made a lot of great fans, and we had a good time doing it.

But I'm up there trying to be a good lead singer of a band... Are you ready?

And a good dad at the same time. Are you ready?

And you start to worry if you're doing a bad job at both.

Oh, shit.

Oh, thank God. Are you ready?

I have, you know, been in places where there's that fan...

and the adulation and stuff like that, and it's huge.

You know what? I got an ego just like anyone else, and I like that. It feels good.

But you know what? Still, you know, you come home, and... "Hey, Dad. "

I got a house full of teenagers, and they're still here,

and they haven't moved out.

And, you know, to me, that's just the crown... for me.

I just love that. That's awesome.

Growing up here in Hermosa Beach, I learned from bands like Black Flag...

and the CircleJerks and the Descendents.

You don't have to kill yourself, you know,

playing a different show every night for months and months and months.

You do it as much as you can and still live your life and be happy.

We got one more song.

Before this song happens,

I'm gonna invite fuckin' our band up here.

This has never happened in the fuckin' history 'cause it's kind of fuckin' gay,

but we're doin' a group hug up here.

Randy, get your ass over here. Byron, get your ass out here.

Don't make me drag you from behind that kit.

What? Group hug.

I don't know what. Byron, come here.

Pennywise, motherfuckers. Let's hear it for us.

This is a fuckin' family up here, motherfuckers!

This shit don't happen.

I love you guys.

I love you guys!

I guess it's part of us getting to a certain age,

but our drummer's mom passed away,

and then Fletcher's brother passed away.

You know, we had Jason.

Pennywise! Pennywise!

You know, we're all men.

It's hard to sit there and pour your heart out to each other.

L.A., I love you! Here we go!

#Whoa, oh, oh, oh #

Everyone here, let me hear you.

#Whoa, oh, oh, oh #

#Whoa, oh, oh, oh #

Let's hear it!

Yeah, to you!

#Whoa, oh, oh, oh #

#Whoa, oh, oh, oh #

#Whoa, oh, oh, oh #

#Whoa, oh, oh, oh ##

Thank you, L. A! We're Pennywise! We'll see you next time!

We did something and it was great,

and it was filled with all the drama oflife...

the tragedy, the success, the fun times, the not-so-fun times.

It's time to just put the final chapter on it.

Kind of made the decision in, like, the last few hours...

that I'm gonna tell the guys that I don't wanna do it anymore.

It's a crazy day. I quit Pennywise today.

Yeah.

It's official. I told Randy and Byron, but Fletcher won't answer my phone calls for the last three days.

I didn't want to be sitting in a hotel in Pittsburgh...

and missing the soccer game and the piano recital.

I didn't want to miss out on some important thing...

that I needed to be there for for my kids...

or miss some lessons that they needed to be taught...

that I wasn't there for.

Now is a great opportunity to try different things with writing...

or other types of music...

or doing soundtrack stuff.

But at the same time, I'm not above anything to take a regular job.

The, uh, statement came down on Friday.

Let me read this, and then we'll discuss.

"After 19 years with Pennywise, Jim Lindberg has decided to step down as lead singer,

and we wish Jim the best luck in his new ventures, whatever they may be. "

But "F"him, it says here. I don't think it...

I'm sorry. That was an ad lib.

He's got a family, and he wants to...

He's a punk-rock dad, for God's sakes. He wants to be more dad and less punk rock, it sounds like.

Um, you said that. I didn't say that.

I mean, like, we gotta respect the fact that he wants to spend more time with his family,

and he doesn't want to tour as much.

You don't take risks and you don't gamble with your children.

You can take risks for yourself. I don't think we have the right to take risks with our children.

There's one thing to be an individual. There's another thing to be an individual at the cost of the people around you.

I'm tired of watchin' my life go by like a fuckin' really fast movie.

It's like a fuckin' bad Twilight Zone.

I'm raising my kid...

the way I wish I had been raised.

I think that's what we're all doing.

Someone said the other day to me, "Man, I wish you were my father. "

I go, "Me too.

I wish I was my father too. "

I know there's kids out there that might be watching this...

or can relate that are from broken homes,

and that you've clung to that anger.

But you learn over time, you learn to take the anger...

and make it something positive.

You take a negative to positive, which is gonna put you on top,

which is another whole type oflevel of punk rock feeling...

oflike flippin'a switch.

I just felt there was a better world out there,

that with a little bit of unity and cooperation,

we could all make this place better.

And it's very idealistic, it's a very young person's way oflooking at the world.

But I think once you get older, you get a little more realistic,

but that's what I wanna have, that's what I wanna hold on to...

is that feeling that we can make a change out there.

Maybe the way we change the world is by raising better kids...

and being more attentive to those kids.

And, um, maybe that's how we change the world...

Instead ofby writing a punk rock song, maybe we just be better parents.

I wanna be around for my kids. I wanna be, um...

I wanna be there when they want me to be there,

and I think that's the punkest thing of all.

#Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah #

#I was a teenage anarchist #

#Looking for a revolution #

#I had the style I had the ambition #

#Read all the authors I knew the right slogans #

# There was no war but the class war #

#I was ready to set the world on fire #

#I was a teenage anarchist #

#Looking for a revolution #

#Do #

# You remember #

# When you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire? #

#Do you remember #

# When you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire? #

#I was a teenage anarchist #

#But the politics were too convenient #

#In the depths of their humanity #

#All I saw was bloodless ideology #

# With freedom as a doctrine #

#Guess who was the new authority #

#I was a teenage anarchist #

#But the politics were too convenient #

#Do you remember #

# When you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire? #

#Do you remember #

# When you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire? #

# When you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire? #

She wants us to start a swear jar.

But I think all the money's gonna go to her.

So it's, you know... She'll call you out on it.

You'll be, like, "Damn it. " And she's, like, "Daddy. "

I mean, crap! "Crap" is like a quarter.

I'm, like, crap is... No, "crap" is in the dictionary.

Does anybody really get offended by the word "fuck"?

Anybody? Really? I don't think so.

But yet, when we're around people that we don't know that well,

we don't say it.

Let's bring down these walls between people.

The word "fuck" can being us together as humans.

Fuck the neighbors.

Why? I don't know. They're close by.

I don't know what's going on.

Sounds like that cat's dying.

I'm not a cat guy.

It was the first time I had to, uh, actually lay down the law as a dad,

and it was not easy.

The thing I can't give him is orange juice.

There's just a blowout after that, man.

It's just like you're running around with a bucket behind him.

The craziest colors come out. You know what I mean?

You're like, "What kind of fuckin' shade of green is that?"

I wish I could get my hair that color.

I'll never be as old as DEVO.

I keep telling myself that.

Can I ask how old you are? Is that okay? Yeah.

How old are you? Thirty-eight.

No, 58. I know I had you fooled there for a second.

#I was a teenage anarchist ##

Ah, it's not too bad.

All right. Let's go before I get in trouble.

Shit!

Let's go.

Goddamn it.