All language subtitles for The.Office.US.S09E11.Suit.Warehouse.720p.BluRay.2CH.x265.HEVC-PSA

Stone & Son Suit Warehouse recently
lost their paper provider.

They're a family-owned business.

Jim and I used to
clean up with those.

We'd go in pretending
to be family, brothers.

We did it at
a family-owned law firm,

at a family-owned
construction company,

and a family-owned
motorcycle store.

Jim and Dwight Schrupert.

I was the dynamic, likeable winner
that was doted upon by Mom.

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

And Jim was the closeted foot
fetishist pretending to belong.

The client never knew
any of that, but I knew.

I hope you've been paying
your wig storage bills, Jimbo,

'cause it's time
for another episode

of Handsome and Stinky,
Paper Brothers for Hire.

Sorry, Stinky,
can't do it. Too busy.

Oh, God, this again?
You're Stinky!

Okay, there's no possible way I can
get there, so just ask Phyllis.

She can be your older
sister or something.

Phyllis, my sister?

More like my dead great-great-grandmother
who died of stupidity.

I have ears, Dwight.

Oh, do you really have ears, Phyllis?
Like all human beings?

We all have ears.

You see what you
leave me with here, Jim?

Hey, I'm in
Philadelphia right now.

How is that my problem? Get in
your car and drive down here.

You can make it in 30 minutes if
you drive 240 miles per hour.

Huh!

How long would it take me
if I drove 300 miles an hour?

Hmm.

That's a good question. 300 times...

A hundred and eighty. Um, that
comes to 25 minutes.

Yes. Oh, well, thank you, Jim.
Yes, lam better than you.

Thanks for acknowledging that.
Okay, bye bye. Love you.

Darryl!
L°°km9900d!

I'm heading to Philly,
interview with Jim's company.

Hey, good luck. When you get to
Philly, will you tell Jim I miss him?

Why don't you come along
and tell him yourself?

That'd be great.
Kind of like ditching school,

except instead of getting
suspended, you get...

What do you get?

Oh, my God! Why didn't I think of this?
Andy's not here.

Oh, hey, Erin, Urn, I'm
expecting a shipment of pens.

Can you cover that?

Mmm, cover that.
What does that mean exactly?

What are we talking here?
Details.

A delivery guy will
deliver a box of pens,

and you just make sure
everything's in order.

What? Everything? How do I
make sure it's in order?

I haven't
been trained for this.

Okay, see you later.

Hey, guys.

Clark! Hey.

Hey, look who's back!
Dwight Jr.

Hey, so how was it?
I mean the sex with Jan.

A gentleman doesn't
discuss such matters,

especially when the feelings
of a lady are involved.

Women reach their sexual peak at
whatever age Jan was last week.

I mean, it was like making
love with a wild animal.

But not like a cougar, like you might
think. It was like a swarm of bees.

Bees that just find something
wrong with every hotel room.

Nothing wrong with
being a gentleman.

Like my mom used to say,
"Talk classy. Act nasty."

What's with the wig,
Meredith?

What?
Is it on backwards?

No. You got it. You fixed it.
Uh, I have a gift from Jan.

Ooh!
It's an espresso maker.

We came to be
quite fond of espresso

on the Amalfi Coast,
so bon appétit!

Ooh!

Sixteen types of espresso!
Now that's Italian.

My friend has one of these.
Fool-proof espresso, every time.

Always with the friends,
Oscar.

Can't we just enjoy
the new espresso machine?

Actually, it's
pronounced espresso.

Wait, that's
what you said.

I apologize. I just assumed you
would mispronounce it, so...

There he is!

We are all so proud of
you for the small part

that you played in
landing the White Pages.

Prouder of me, but...

If you really want
to show appreciation,

just give me
half the commission.

Gosh, you know, I wish
I could, but, uh, no.

Hey, listen, remember how everyone
used to call you Dwight Jr.,

and how much
you loved that?

I loved it.

How would you like to pretend to
be my son in order to land a sale?

If it will lead to me
being a salesman,

I'll pretend
to be your friend.

Then it looks like
we have a deal, Son.

Hi, guys.

Hey, look who it is.

Oh, sorry, super busy.
Pens coming in later.

Just grabbing a java before all
hell breaks loose.

- Try this one.
- Thank you.

I don't really have time
to think about Pete right now.

I just have a lot going on with
this whole shipment of pens.

And I have a lot of people trusting
me, and I would feel super-guilty

if I broke anyone's
trust about the pens.

You ready
for your interview?

I was born ready!

No. I suck at interviews.

I had Andy's job in the
bag until my interview.

Well, you shouldn't
be nervous about this.

This is a tiny start-up with a bunch
of guys just as dorky as Jim.

Yeah, I guess.

Really! You can't be scared
of a room full of Jims.

I love the guy, but he's
basically Gumby with hair.

It's kind of funny,
father-and-son sales team

meeting with a
father-and-son suit store.

You know? You're right. We hadn't
even thought of that, had we, boy?

No, we sure hadn't, Pop!

Oh, you're a hunter, I see.

Spend your early mornings out in the
blinds like Clarky and me, huh?

He calls me Clarky
'cause he's my dad.

Guilty.

You don't meet many
hunters these days.

My dad is
the best hunter there is.

I mean, he's like a
serial killer of animals.

One time, he snuck up
behind a sleeping deer

and just sawed its head
right off. It was sick.

It was his birthday. Just turned three.
So... Ah.

You guys, I kind of think I want
to try them all. Is that crazy?

Yeah. Look,
without a taste test,

how are we supposed to know which
flavors we like to reorder?

Taste test?
I'm in.

YOLO!

What?
Oh.

It's a thing.
It means you only live once.

Yeah, we're aware
of what it means, Oscar.

You just do not
look cool saying it.

Well... All right,
everybody, who's in?

Yep-

Angela? Don't make
us come over there.

No, I don't. No.

All right,
let's go.

Can't I just agree without
putting my hand in?

No way.
Absolutely not!

Oh, fine.

Okay, guys,
we all drink them all.

We all drink them all!

Yes.
Yes!

Hey, where's my ring?

I'm sure it'll turn up.

Yes, ma'am, you want
to go east on Franklin,

take that all
the way to Commonwealth.

You'll see us on the right side.
You can't miss us.

Yes, and I want to reach
every demographic possible.

No, I hear what you're
saying, and we will.

The thing is, we've got to lock
down this key demographic first.

The rest will come, I promise. Just
give me a couple of weeks, all right?

We're talking weeks here,
not months, right?

Weeks, always weeks.

Man, the last time
I talked months

was, like,
a million weeks ago.

All right. Good.

Thanks, Dennis.
Appreciate it.

Hey! How are you?
Good.

What are you doing here? I
just wanted to see you.

That's so great.
Damn.

Jim, you've got a real Facebook
energy going on here, man.

You Zuckerberg'ed
this place out.

It's pretty great, right?
I mean, we're coming along.

Hey, Wade! We've got to just
push up Dennis' timeline.

Okay.
Actually, you know what?

Give me one second, okay?
Make yourselves at home.

But I think that all of your
concerns will be answered

when you see the brochure that
Clark's getting out of my car.

He's a good boy.
Does whatever I say.

Yeah.

I can't relate to that.
My son hates my guts.

Oh, really?

I bring him into the
business, and he resents me.

How do you like that?

Well, things between me
and Clark are good, not great.

In fact, I will say that
they're not even good, really.

They're bad.
Like you and your son.

Here you go, P0P!

I know it was just a couple of
minutes, but God, I missed you!

What took you so long?
Were you loitering

out there like a hooligan,
smoking a doobie?

I sure was, just like he taught me.
Looking cool.

You're being disrespectful.

And I love you
for saying that.

We don't get along.

I just burned him,

because the truth
is our relationship is...

Terrible!
Terrible.

Yes, genius.
Stupid, stupid genius.

Wow, this place is so great.
I had no idea!

On the phone, you made
it sound kind of dinky.

Well, I mean, I don't
even have a paycheck yet.

It is a start-up, so these
things go down all the time.

If this company is going down,
I want to go down on it.

With it,
I want to go down with it.

Are you cool
to just hang out?

- Sure. No problem.
- Yeah?

You ready? Let's do it. Yeah.

The pen delivery
went amazing.

And now I've got all these pens
just waiting to be unpacked,

but Pam did not tell
me to unpack the pens.

And I'm not one
of those people

who's just like, "Sure, I'll accept
the pens when they come in,"

and then as soon as your back's
turned, I unpack the pens,

and get all this credit
as some great pen un-packer!

On the other hand,
they are just sitting here.

Pam didn't tell me
not to unpack them.

I don't want to be a busybody, but
I don't want to be a lazybones.

Busybody, lazybones,
busybody, lazybones. Ah!

My brain is
ping-ponging around

in my head right now.
lfsinsane!

I'm sorry. What was your question again?
Oh, yeah.

No, I've never had an espresso before.
They're good, though.

Ah-bam!

My favorite is
Viennese Amaretto,

and the worst flavor I have
tried so far is Alpine Select.

Yes!

One! Two! Three! Kevin! Kevin!
Kevin! Stop it!

That's enough, Kevin. That's enough!
Cut it, Kevin! Kevin!

So, for your menswear
catalog,

I think we can offer you some
very competitive pricing.

I heard that before.

Well, I understand...
I'll bet you have.

He knows nothing about what
people have heard before, my son.

Here we go again, another
lecture from the old man.

Listen to him!
He created you.

Maybe if you listened a
little bit, you'd improve.

No wonder
women despise you.

Women don't despise me.

Oh, his last girlfriend was a transvestite.
I knew it right away.

Adam's apple like
the prow of a ship.

Thumbs like
a lowland gorilla.

But this one couldn't see it
or didn't want to see it.

All right, that's enough, 'cause I
could say some things about him, too.

Yeah? Like what? Like the
time that you got drunk

and killed those kids
on their way to prom.

Thatneverhappened.
He's always been a liar.

Ever since he
was a little kid,

and he got caught saving "treats"
from the kitty litter box.

Really shameful.

So we can offer you matte or
glossy printing in a variety...

Glistening brown
morsels tumbling

from every pouch
in his trousers.

There's obviously a volume discount.
lfyou“.

Following the cat
around on his knees

with his hands
cupped beneath its tail,

going, "Please, kitty,
may I have some more?"

You can't make this stuff up.

No, I think someone could make it
up, someone with very few friends.

Hey, fellas,
sorry to keep you waiting.

There he is. My son.

He's got cat turd
collector written all over him.

Did you say
"cat turd collector"?

So, definitely looking to
expand our market, but for now,

we're just
concentrating on athletes

that are popular
here in the Northeast.

Of course,
that's not a mandate.

Mandate. Always think
of two men on a date.

I have gay friends.
One gay friend. Oscar.

Mmm-hmm.

All right, so what makes you
think you'd be a good fit here?

Okay. Um...

All right.

Obviously,
y'all are really busy,

and I don't want to
waste your time anymore.

I'm sorry. I just...

Obviously, I'm not
qualified to be here, man.

I'm a warehouse manager,
you know?

Darryl, I was
a newspaper editor.

Science teacher,
volleyball coach.

I work at Home
Shopping Network.

I'm a lawyer. I'm the only one
here who can honestly help.

And as you know,
I was a paper salesman.

Hey, I find it helps if you
just picture everybody naked.

Cool. Hey, thanks.

So, how about
we start over?

Darryl, do you have any
thoughts on the company?

Yes. Yes, as a matter of fact,
I wrote some down.

There you go.

Wow, this guy came prepared.
That impresses me.

Ah, so, this is what 2:00 p.m.
looks like around here.

LusuaHytake
a siesta about now.

Stocking pens, huh? You're like
the new office administrator.

No, I just took over the pen
shipment because Pam had to leave.

When I say it out loud, I know that sounds
insane, but it's the truth, I swear.

Pam! Pam! Look out! Erin's
gunning for your job!

No, I'm not.

It's not like that at all!
Forget it.

Pam, look out!
I'm so sorry.

Pens, you did not buy into this. lam sorry.
What a day you've had.

By the way, Jim talks
about you all the time.

That's sweet that
he talks about me.

It's too bad he still has to work
part-time in Scranton, though.

Well, that's funny,
'cause I think of him

as working
part-time in Philadelphia.

We can't wait
until you move here.

I'm sorry. You guys are
here to sell us paper?

Do you mind?
The men are talking.

Sons used to
idolize their fathers.

Us old-timers need
to stick together,

and how better than
by signing a contract?

Pdloveto. But Sam Jr. here,
he runs the business now.

Kind of pushed me out,
truth be told.

I'm just here
for human contact.

Okay, Pop.

Wait, so you're the boss?

That's right.

Hi, I'm Clark.
Hey.

Let's talk.
Okay.

So if you look at
our catalog here...

Well, thanks for
coming down, Darryl.

It was nice
meeting you, Darryl.

I think you'd
fit in great here.

Yeah, yeah, me too.

I think it would be like...
You know what?

I think it'd be like a Kevin
Durant jump shot, perfecto.

Oh, my God.

They're the ones who put a fish
tank next to a basketball hoop.

It's like, if I put
a glass of milk on the edge

of a table,
and Cece knocks it over,

I don't blame Cece.

So, I'm like a three-year-old
girl in this scenario?

Say they don't hire you. It's not
like you're out on the street.

You have a great job
with people who love you.

And I'd only get to see
Jada on the weekends.

You know, I'm not so sure I'd
like living in Philadelphia.

Right? Thank you!
It's just Philly.

Everyone's acting like it's New
York, or Paris, or London.

Who needs it?
Not us.

Okay, so the consensus
was that that was unique.

They're going to make
you pay for the fish,

and they wanted to
know when you can start.

What?

How about yesterday?

Congratulations.
Oh, thank you!

I guess you've got to
move to Philly after all.

Yes! I love Philly! 215 or die!

Come on, man!

No, I'm not upset.
I'm really excited for Darryl.

Maybe I'm a little disappointed
that we'll be losing him.

It feels really hot in here.
Is it hot in here?

It feels really,
really hot in here.

Ifsinsane! They need to turn the
AC on year-round. January too!

I don't get the point
of this stupid window!

I mean, look,
you and I both know

that in paper or fashion,
styles change.

Check out my dad's suit. You
are looking at pure acrylic.

That's why his face
always breaks out.

Does that suit come
with a fire extinguisher?

You know what, Dad? Maybe
you should buy me a suit.

Hmm. I mean, I'm going
to need one, right,

if I'm ever going
to get a "real" job

and move my lazy ass
out of your "GD" house?

He's got you there.

That's Italian silk.
Very comfortable,

very tasteful,
although expensive.

Yeah, you don't want Italian.
You'll look like a mafia don.

Next thing you know, you'll be
doing life at Riker's Island.

Uh, that's better
than looking like

the undertaker
from Boring Island.

That place doesn't exist.
It's not a documented island.

Cartograph much?

How do I look?

Actually, you look great.
They steered you right.

I guess it does make sense buying
from a father-son team.

You know what?
I'll take one, too.

Everyone, now that we
have all this energy,

why don't we move the copier into the
annex like we've always wanted to?

Whoo!

Frickin' A!
Huh?

So long, noise!

One, two, three!

Oh!

And we have
torn up the carpet.

Oh, we are going to be
in so much trouble!

Wait!

It's beautiful!
Hardwood!

I always knew
it was down here.

I just never dreamed
that I would actually see it.

Tear up the carpet!

Killed their fish, and they still hired me!
That's how you do that, baby!

It's all good. I'm ready.
Y'all ready for this?

♪ Everybody dance now a'

Yeah!

Kevin, move!

I can't pull up the rug if you're
standing on it with your rhinoceros feet.

Well, I can't stand here if you
pull the carpet out from under me.

Oh, my head is killing me. Does
anyone have a baby aspirin?

Oh, enough with the
whining, akeadyl

Why don't you just
have some more coffee?

It's all gone! I didn't get
a chance to try them all,

because Creed poured my
Bogota Sunrise in the plant.

I saw the leaves twitch.

Shut up!

You shut up!

Everybody
shut up and work!

We don't work for you!

Yeah!
Yeah!

Hey, it's 5:00.

Kevin, can you...

What is going on?

Yes! We did it!

Well, you opened the door.

And you closed it.
The boys are back in town!

High fives!

Hey, so, all that really
specific cat turd business,

that was about you, right?

You got me!
I used to collect them.

Why?

Each one is very different,
like a snowflake.

Hey, what happened here?

You left me in
charge of the pens, Pam.

That's what happened.
The pens happened!

Are the pens here?