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1
00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:04,166
So, coasting time
is officially over.
2
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:07,803
Big changes are coming,
and they're coming fast.
3
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,102
If you don't like 'em,
4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,669
this is called a door,
you can walk
right through it.
5
00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:14,338
All right? I'm not
here to be your friend.
6
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,911
I like my life
outside of this place.
7
00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:18,919
I live to leave at 5:00.
8
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,518
Change number one, Darryl.
9
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:25,923
Per your request,
the company is sending you
to business school at night.
10
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,825
Full ride, deal with it.
11
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,198
Seriously?
Stone-cold seriously.
12
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:35,596
They are trying
to figure me out,
and I don't like it.
13
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:41,265
Once they figure me out,
they start to tell me
what I want to hear.
14
00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:43,936
And I need to
quickly figure out
who's a good worker,
15
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,913
and who is simply
a good mind reader.
16
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:50,045
Because as soon
as I'm hearing
what I wanna hear,
17
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,880
I'm not gonna care.
18
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,221
Change two, Toby.
You're getting a new chair.
19
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,321
Thanks.
Don't thank me.
20
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,527
Hey, don't thank me, guy.
21
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,020
Okay?
22
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,357
I don't care
if you like it.
23
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,365
These sound like good ideas,
why wouldn't we like them?
24
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,731
I don't care what
your favorite flavor is.
25
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,499
Here's a bowl of ice cream,
you either like it
or you don't.
26
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,101
That's my attitude
right now in this room,
27
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:17,440
that's my attitude on
"Ice Cream Thursdays."
28
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:19,610
All right?
29
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,175
Clear? Any questions?
30
00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,381
This all sounds great to me.
31
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,918
But I could see
how some people might
think that they're bad.
32
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,018
I don't know what to think.
33
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,295
That is a...
34
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,956
An astute observation, Kevin.
35
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,796
Kev's got me pegged.
36
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:17,197
It blows away
Vermont in the fall.
37
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,533
DARRYL: Snap, for real?
38
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:19,800
DEANGELO: Not even...
Good morning, Deangelo.
39
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,034
Hold on, Pam.
Okay.
40
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,474
And if you're really serious,
41
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,470
you should go in the spring.
42
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,644
'Cause of the flowers.
No.
43
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,444
Because the entire
state smells like earth.
44
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:30,609
Dogwoods,
or just the earth?
45
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:32,341
Yes, Pam.
46
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:35,518
Hey, well, good morning.
I think I have good
news for you today.
47
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:38,491
I found your new
executive assistant,
my friend, Carla.
48
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,150
She's got
great experience,
49
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,219
we even considered
making her Cece's godmother,
50
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:43,661
but she had this
boyfriend at the time.
51
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,255
But here's her resume.
Put it with the rest.
52
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:46,458
Okay.
53
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,435
Hey, dudes.
Hey.
54
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,561
Hey.
55
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,035
Oh, my God, he hates me.
No, he doesn't.
56
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,869
You just get so nervous
and hyper around him.
57
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,738
I know.
Every time
there's a silence,
58
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,641
your brain's, like...
59
00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:59,838
Is that what he tells you
at your little
inner circle meetings?
60
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,848
Careful,
there is no inner circle.
61
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,451
Oh, there is
an inner circle.
Oh, yeah.
62
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:07,878
There is no inner circle.
63
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:12,386
Deangelo just prefersto delegate a fewthings to a few guys.
64
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:16,187
Jim only says that
because he's in
the inner circle.
65
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:21,196
I also say that
because I am also
in the inner circle.
66
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,865
Did you get that, ma?
67
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:28,466
Your boy, Kevin Malone,
is in the inner circle,
68
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,642
which doesn't exist.
69
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:39,285
There he is.
Got you coffee.
70
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:42,254
Oh, wow, thank you,
that was so kind of you.
71
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,387
Not a coffee guy,
I take it, huh?
72
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,429
It's just that I
own the coffee shop.
73
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:51,192
So once you've seen
sausage being made,
74
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:53,763
all you wanna do
is make sausage
'cause it's so much fun.
75
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:58,295
Listen, I've got a sixer,
Automatic for the People
on the jukebox.
76
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,103
Let's hit the park
after sundown, come on.
77
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,267
Pick up some sausage
if you want.
78
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:06,737
I think you'll find
what you're looking for
over there.
79
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:14,021
No matter how many times
I reach out to Dwight,
80
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,023
he doesn't seem to want
anything to do with me.
81
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,525
It reminds me of
my relationship
with my son.
82
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,789
Except there,
I'm the Dwight.
83
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:23,725
Who's the biggest
client in the state?
84
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:25,959
I say we go get 'em,
whatever it takes.
85
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,494
What do you guys say?
86
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,296
KEVIN: Yes.
Right?
87
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:33,067
DARRYL: Let's do it.
Or my other idea,
50,000 tiny clients.
88
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,939
Yeah, I say that
we just go for it.
89
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:38,902
Is that ball
lighter than usual?
90
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:40,138
Is that
a Chinatown knockoff?
91
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,373
That's Toys "R" Us,
I think.
92
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,711
No, that's definitely
a knockoff.
93
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,547
You can feel
the center of gravity
is off.
94
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,086
Feel that,
what do you think?
95
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,710
Oh, yeah, totally.
96
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:48,949
Jim, you got
ripped off big time.
97
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,284
Deangelo!
98
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,256
See what I did there?
That's what you need to do.
99
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,852
Just add a little English.
The British are coming.
100
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,329
KEVIN: Yes.
DEANGELO: Deangelo's open!
101
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,560
Hey, Ry.
Your department's
killing it, baby.
102
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,865
Hey! My pleasure,
my treasure.
103
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,160
Keep it up.
104
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:09,175
The problem with
having it, or,
the X factor,
105
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,336
or whatever it is
you wanna call it,
106
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:14,609
is that
it's impossible to
put into words
107
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:17,977
what you're
bringing to the table.
108
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,987
So, to make things
simpler for Deangelo,
I just, without lying,
109
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:24,024
strongly implied that
I'm Kelly's supervisor.
110
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,786
It's not even that
much of a stretch.
111
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,656
She pretty much
does whatever I say.
112
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,287
What?
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
113
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:32,127
Why should I pretend
that you are my boss?
114
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,065
Because what
would you have done
in that situation, Kelly?
115
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,763
I'll tell you what I
would have done for you.
I'd lie for you.
116
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,102
Yeah,
but you lie all the time.
You lie for no reason.
117
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:40,570
Ryan, you just
like to lie.
118
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,901
I'd die for you, too.
119
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:43,899
You really would?
120
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:47,703
Hey, Kelly Kapoor,
if I don't have those
call logs on my desk,
121
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:51,343
we're just gonna
have to evaluate
your future at the company.
122
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,711
Sure thing, Mr. Howard.
123
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,746
Glad he's not my boss.
124
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:58,981
You're the best, thank you.
125
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,257
You know, I have a cousin
who cracked the secret formula
126
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,495
for a certain popular cola
that I shall not name.
127
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:12,595
So I've never
had to buy it.
True story.
128
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:14,072
I just drink
my cousin's.
129
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,473
Congratulations
on your one cousin.
130
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,977
I have 70, each one
better than the last.
131
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:23,677
You know what?
Straight up,
why don't you like me?
132
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:27,082
I'm just not a suck up
like everyone else
around here, okay?
133
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,846
I do my job well,
so why don't you
just leave me alone,
134
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,286
and let me do it. Okay?
135
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:35,892
Oh, no.
136
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:36,952
What...
Okay?
137
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,461
I'm gonna win you over.
No, you're not.
138
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:40,522
Yes, I am.
No.
139
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:41,624
Oh, yes.
No.
140
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:42,691
Yes.
No.
141
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:43,759
Yes!
No!
142
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,100
Yes! Yes!
No! No!
143
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:48,403
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
144
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,444
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...
145
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,001
Uh-oh.
146
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,070
This former
administrative assistant
147
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,240
misspelled "administrative,"
and "assistant."
148
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,174
The winner.
149
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:03,155
Under special skills,
Mr. Don Finer put juggling.
150
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,551
151
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,754
What's wrong with juggling,
Darryl?
152
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,556
I'm a big juggler.
153
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:12,198
I actually perform
a motivational
juggling routine.
154
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,330
Seriously?
Oh, yeah.
155
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,697
I'd do it for you
here, but...
156
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,297
What would you
say this room is?
300 square feet? 320?
157
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:23,175
Three-twenty,
just free-balling it.
158
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,543
It's a little cramped.
159
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,945
How many square
feet out there?
Seventeen, eighteen hundo?
160
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,779
Oh, I think it's 18 hundo.
161
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,284
GABE: Give or take.
162
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:35,153
Sorry, gang.
163
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:38,419
I thought my juggling stuff
was in the trunk of
my car, but it's not.
164
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,653
Oh, no,
do you think
it was stolen?
165
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,093
ANDY: I got you
covered, boss.
166
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,859
Used to play with
the parabolas myself.
167
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:48,328
Got some extra balls.
Hey! Oh!
168
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:52,662
Sorry, I never touch
another juggler's
instruments.
169
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,810
You know, we're all here,
I've got the music cued.
170
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:59,072
Why don't I just do my routine
without the juggling balls?
171
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,545
172
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,912
Prepare to go
into the danger zone.
173
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,881
Oh, wow,
you weren't kidding.
No, never.
174
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:17,322
Can someone please
throw me a fifth ball?
If you dare.
175
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,161
Incoming!
176
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:21,824
And we're on.
177
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:25,336
Remember,
nothing's impossible.
178
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,181
Phyllis, where's Phyllis?
179
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:42,578
Here.
180
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,219
Do you believe
in me, Phyllis?
181
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,987
Yes.
'Cause I believe in you.
182
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,619
Oh, okay.
183
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,056
Feel that connection?
184
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:58,094
Don't move your head,
please, thank you.
185
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,138
Big hand for Phyllis.
186
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,938
That took a lot of guts.
187
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,578
I'm Deangelo Vickers.
188
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,679
Thank you so much.
Hope you learned something.
189
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,217
190
00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:21,287
He didn't drop
a single ball.
191
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:23,819
Look.
192
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,056
I'm juggling eggs
and bowling balls.
193
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,100
I'm juggling with one hand.
194
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,092
No hands.
195
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,807
What could he
possibly stand to gain
from a fake juggling routine?
196
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:38,208
What could he
possibly stand to gain
from a real juggling routine?
197
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,110
How can you
keep defending him?
198
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,442
He's good at his job,
and I like working for him.
199
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,212
Of course you do, Jim.
You're a man.
200
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:47,553
Deangelo is a huge sexist.
201
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,918
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
202
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:51,480
I think if he was sexist,
I'd be able to tell.
203
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:54,058
I took a crap load
of women's studies
courses at Cornell.
204
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,793
And I wrote my
own companion piece
to The Vagina Monologues,
205
00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:59,628
called The Penis Apologies.
So I know a thing or two.
206
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:00,928
Okay, then how about
207
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,628
I'm the head of
the accounting department,
208
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,603
but he only ever
talks to Kevin.
209
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,163
What about Pam and Kelly?
Also department heads,
210
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,833
but has he ever
met with you?
211
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,672
Or even asked you
to do anything?
212
00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,213
How could I not see it?
You're so right.
213
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,885
Why don't you
talk to him about it?
214
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:22,081
And say what?
"Hey, Deangelo, are you shy
or just a sexist?"
215
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:24,453
Why don't you just tell him
how his actions
are being perceived
216
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:25,856
by the women
in this office?
217
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:26,915
Mmm-hmm.
218
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:30,989
And if he doesn't listen,
then he can kiss
his penis goodbye.
219
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,324
Snip-snip.
Am I right, girls?
220
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,060
Hey, you got a second?
221
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,795
Yeah, I got tons of time,
this job's a joke.
222
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:40,863
So what's up?
223
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,602
Really, it's nothing.
I was just talking
to Angela.
224
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:46,869
And she was...
225
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,739
Hey. Saw Jim come in,
are we meeting?
226
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:51,645
Yeah, sure,
let's make it a meeting.
227
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:53,050
If it's all right,
can I just have, like,
228
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,518
one minute alone,
just to go over...
229
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:57,455
What's the big secret?
Why are you even whispering?
230
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:58,958
Come on, it's the guys.
231
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,560
I know, just the guys.
232
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:04,191
Well, maybe that's
part of the problem,
I think.
233
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:07,434
So what happened was
I was talking to some of
the department heads.
234
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,968
Right.
235
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,230
Some of the female
department heads.
Uh-oh.
236
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,327
Yeah.
JIM: Right?
237
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,000
Hot.
Maybe there's
a vibe out there
238
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:17,205
with certain members
of the office
239
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:22,648
that you are
a little sexist, or...
240
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,748
Damn!
Whoa!
241
00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,912
Wait.
Are you serious?
Who feels this way?
242
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,188
Oh, like, nobody,
it was...
Pam?
243
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:32,418
Was it Pam?
KEVIN: Oh, my gosh.
244
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,654
That sounds like Pam.
You know how she gets.
245
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:37,526
Deangelo,
she can get really bitchy.
246
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,860
KEVIN:
Kevin...
DEANGELO: Guys.
247
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,559
Hold on.
Doesn't matter who, okay?
248
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:45,370
I'm just happy
that Jim brought it
to my attention,
249
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,373
because, honestly,
I had no idea.
250
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,938
That's awesome.
Thank you.
251
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,905
Mom, Ryan's taking us
out to dinner tonight.
252
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:55,813
No, no,
he's not gonna stand us up
like he did last time.
253
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,578
He won't ever
stand us up again.
254
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,017
So I am the new
Customer Service
supervisor...
255
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,782
When Deangelo's around.
256
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:06,188
And I'm also a very
dutiful boyfriend when...
257
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,626
All the time.
All the time.
258
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,497
Erin, do you mind
running down to the lobby
259
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,999
and bringing up my brand new
executive assistant?
260
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,863
Absolutely.
Hey, who'd you
end up hiring?
261
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,461
I'm glad you asked, Jim.
262
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,730
Because, apparently,
there's a rumor
263
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,468
running around here
that I'm a sexist.
264
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,868
Mmm-hmm.
265
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:27,380
I can't work here
effectively if you guys think
I'm something that I'm not.
266
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,574
I'm not a sexist.
267
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,979
Raise your hand if
you have a vagina.
268
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:43,993
Raise your hand
if someone you love
has a vagina.
269
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:47,890
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Just about everyone.
270
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:49,999
What about Deangelo's hand?
271
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,702
Oh, wow.
He's got 'em both up.
272
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:55,964
Yeah.
273
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,066
Uh-huh.
274
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,543
Yeah. So it bothers me,
275
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:04,076
when I hear that
there's gossip around here
276
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,176
that I treat women
lesser than men.
277
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,615
Okay? Frankly,
278
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,957
we all look
a little ridiculous
when that happens.
279
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,391
I'm not a feminist,
280
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,854
but I think that
the men in this office
281
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:18,261
are being given chances
that the women aren't.
282
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:19,655
Dwight.
283
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,356
What's your take?
284
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,491
What's the argument here?
285
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,732
NBA, WNBA. One is a sport,
one is a joke.
286
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,496
I love sports, I love jokes.
287
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,467
Room for all.
Man, you're smart.
288
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:34,475
Oh, hey! Hi. Hello.
Hi.
289
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:39,779
Welcome. Everyone,
I'd like you to please
welcome Jordan Garfield.
290
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,748
This is everyone.
Hello.
291
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:45,253
So, Jordan,
where did you work before?
292
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,216
A law office?
293
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,283
No, Anthropologie.
294
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,226
"We don't have
this and that size."
Pretty lame.
295
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,592
Lame? You worked
at Anthropologie?
296
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,329
Yeah.
That's, like,
my dream job.
297
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:57,392
How did you even
get that job?
298
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,434
Well, I...
You chose this job
over that job?
299
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,030
Okay, okay,
back to work, Kelly.
300
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,076
We have a lot to
get done today.
301
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,738
So, is this your
first office job then?
302
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,375
Yeah.
Yup.
303
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:11,248
Wow.
No corporate
experience whatsoever.
304
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,577
I didn't want anyone
with any bad habits.
305
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:14,643
KEVIN: Nice.
306
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,788
Jim, are you coming?
307
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,291
Oh, yeah, did he text us?
KEVIN: Yeah.
308
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,389
No!
309
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:29,295
Jim, what are you doing?
Get in there.
310
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,904
This is not
the time to take a stand,
at least he likes one of us.
311
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:33,769
He didn't text me.
Yes!
312
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,564
I'm in.
313
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,303
Andy, what are you doing?
314
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,804
I'm going in into
the belly of the beast.
315
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,907
I'm gonna infiltrate
and change from within.
316
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:47,484
What's up, man cave?
317
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,543
318
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,592
Just go in.
Hmm?
319
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,350
Just go in,
he probably just forgot
to text you.
320
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,753
Internally for office use,
321
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,965
where do we get
our paper from?
322
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:01,159
Do we go and...
323
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,125
Do we have that system?
Don't worry,
324
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,226
the first day's
always the hardest.
325
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,394
Yeah.
326
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,368
Hey, Jim.
Yeah?
327
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,174
Can I help you?
Nope.
328
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,437
Just...
329
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,146
Okay.
330
00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,974
So, he kicked you out
of the inner circle, huh?
331
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,272
No, there is no
inner circle.
332
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:47,402
Dwight?
333
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,283
Deangelo wanted me to ask you
if there's anything
I could help you with?
334
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,606
Really?
335
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,475
Anything?
336
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,286
Do you need anything?
337
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,478
Deangelo?
338
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:59,292
Tell your whore
to leave me alone!
339
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:05,525
Okay, I do not
wanna waste your time,
so I will keep this brief!
340
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,230
Now, word on the street
is Mercy Hospital,
341
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,791
back on the market.
342
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,428
Deangelo would like
you to put together
a sales pitch for next week.
343
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:16,509
Deangelo has also
recently learned about
the Barnacle Project,
344
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,036
which is
a non-profit organization
based in Mystic, Connecticut,
345
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:22,544
that assists in
the scraping of barnacles...
346
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:23,946
So this is my life
347
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,611
until I win the lottery
348
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,852
or Pam finally writes
that series of
young adult books.
349
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:34,626
So, one afternoon
while walking
home from school,
350
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,526
quirky 10th-grader
Becky Walters
351
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,494
finds a wounded
Pegasus in the woods.
352
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:42,225
And she becomes
"The Horse Flyer."
353
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,698
Hey, Kelly,
that's the last time
354
00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:47,672
I'm gonna talk to you
about your paycheck, okay?
355
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:50,368
We pay you a fair salary here
and if you're only here
for the money,
356
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:51,842
maybe you shouldn't
be here at all.
357
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,402
No one likes
a money grubber.
358
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:59,312
I'm sorry, Mr. Howard.
I apologize for
grubbing for money...
359
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:02,949
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry, I just can't do it.
360
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,116
Deangelo,
Ryan is not my boss, okay?
361
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,217
Frankly, he hasn't had
a real job here in years.
362
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:08,419
Whoa!
363
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,557
That's hilarious, Kelly.
364
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,426
No, he's just
a big fraud, Deangelo.
365
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:13,761
He's like Rango.
366
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,426
He doesn't work here,
basically,
367
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,766
just like the way
Rango didn't save
those animals.
368
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,305
It was just a big
misunderstanding.
369
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:21,935
Is this true, Ryan?
370
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:23,901
I did not see Rango.
371
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:26,674
Okay,
I don't have time for this
"he said, she said."
372
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:27,941
He's not saying anything!
373
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,004
It's too murky.
374
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:33,183
I like Ryan.
You seem kind of
hysterical to me.
375
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:36,882
Ryan's your supervisor.
Let's just leave it that way.
376
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:39,551
But it's not fair.
I've been working here
for such a long time...
377
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:41,249
378
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:42,417
Close call.
379
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:45,094
Okay, why don't you
just finish this stuff up
and leave it on my desk
380
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:47,030
and I will see
you at your place
around 2:00 a.m.?
381
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,293
382
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,105
DEANGELO:
Oh, angry, angry dunk.
383
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,302
Hey.
384
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:02,007
It sounds like you guys
are having a lot of fun,
385
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,074
but it's really loud
and some of us are
trying to work, so...
386
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,017
Do you think
you could do it
a little more quietly?
387
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,816
Well, that's gonna
be tough because we're
getting a dunking clinic
388
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,380
from Magic Jordan himself.
389
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,854
You mean Michael Jordan?
390
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:17,686
Total brain burp.
391
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:18,753
I'm no MJ.
392
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:20,388
Please.
393
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,968
I can do his dunk
from free-throw line,
though.
394
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,025
Whoa!
395
00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:28,697
Damn!
Mad respect
from a brother!
396
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,878
The man is paying me
to take Chinese.
I will say what I need to say.
397
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,881
And soon,
I will say it in Chinese.
398
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,450
Okay, well,
it's just really loud.
399
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:41,378
Okay. We'll keep that
in mind.
400
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,883
All right, ladies.
Back to the game.
Do it!
401
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,291
And, Jim, come on in.
402
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,451
You're back in.
403
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:55,332
You know what?
Instead of a game,
why don't we do an exhibition?
404
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:56,664
Love to see
that dunk of yours.
405
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:58,893
Yeah, we'll set that up
one day.
406
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:00,737
Today. Now, maybe.
407
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,474
'Cause we have
a hoop downstairs,
408
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,567
and a real ball,
so you don't have
to mime it.
409
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:07,239
Yeah, I don't know.
410
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:08,737
Why not?
411
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,740
Only because
412
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,342
no one has called NASA
to request a lift off.
413
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,043
414
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,687
Let's go downstairs, okay?
Let's do it.
415
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:18,747
Pass.
416
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:20,725
If I wanted to see
a pissing contest,
417
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,294
I'd lock Mose in
the chicken coop.
418
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:23,996
Damn it, Dwight, enough!
419
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:28,859
Get your ass downstairs,
or find a new place
to sell paper!
420
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,164
DWIGHT: Okay,a little about me.
421
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,870
I respond to
strong leadership.
422
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:40,671
All right, there you go.
Seems a little close.
423
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:41,907
You're sure that's
the real foul line?
424
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,209
Fifteen feet
from the baseline.
425
00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:45,080
So you need me
to move it in?
426
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:46,977
Nah, that's 15.
427
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:48,043
Yeah.
Okay.
428
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,520
And, you know what,
to make it interesting,
429
00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:52,785
Jordan, why don't you sit
underneath the basket?
430
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,656
Seriously?
Yeah, come on.
431
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,386
I'll dunk over you,
best seat in the house.
432
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:57,756
I don't...
I don't think
I can do that.
433
00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:59,121
I'm holding your jewelry.
434
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:00,324
Right, yeah.
435
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,496
Okay, fair enough.
Kevin, you do it.
436
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:03,758
Yes, okay.
437
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:04,927
Why don't you?
438
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:05,994
Here?
439
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:07,595
Someone wanna
sit in Kevin's lap?
440
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:08,697
Angela?
No.
441
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,174
Oscar?
No, thank you.
442
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,904
Okay, Jimmy, this is for you,
to show you that
anything is possible.
443
00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,344
Fantastic.
All right?
444
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,473
Yup.
This is also for the troops.
445
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,648
Doctor is in!
446
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:28,817
447
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:29,984
448
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,189
449
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:34,993
450
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:41,896
Now what?
451
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:49,777
Deangelo?
452
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,176
Oh, my God,
are you all right?
453
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:55,013
Erin, will you
call 911, please?
ERIN: Okay.
454
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,523
Who should I say
is calling?
Erin.
455
00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:01,023
456
00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:20,711
457
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:24,912
Dry sweat, yeah,
I get it.
458
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:25,974
459
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,545
Okay, we're gonna
work on it.
33794
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