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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,660
I know a lot of us
have been feeling
under the weather lately,
2
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:04,966
it's that time of year,
3
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:08,099
and according to
a study done by the
University of Arizona,
4
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,801
they discovered
that your keyboards
5
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:12,403
have hundreds of
times more bacteria
6
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:14,414
per square inch,
than a toilet seat.
7
00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:15,972
I heard your mama
has more bacteria
8
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,142
per square inch
than a toilet seat.
9
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:19,448
That's true. That's true.
I dated her mama.
And you know what?
10
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,510
Stop.
11
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,245
All right.
12
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,915
One of the simplest
ways to cut down on
the spread of germs
13
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,960
is to use something
called the vampire cough.
14
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:28,693
Did you say vampire?
15
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,588
Oh, no, it's just that,
if a vampire had to cough,
16
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:33,099
he would do it
like this.
17
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,395
18
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,664
Uh-huh. Right,
and ruin their cloaks?
19
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,365
Do you have any idea
how expensive wool is
in Transylvania?
20
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,463
'Cause of the euro.
21
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,375
Well, other things you
can do to help cut down
on the spread of disease
22
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,776
are to wash your
hands regularly,
23
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,541
don't come in
if you're sick,
24
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,582
Ah.
and get your flu shot.
25
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:52,847
Also, I'm going to set up
hand-sanitizing stations
around the office.
26
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:56,151
No. No, no.
They will cost
you your life.
27
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,247
Elaborate.
28
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,883
The worst thing you
can do for your immune
system is to coddle it.
29
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,551
They need to fight
their own battles.
30
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:04,296
If Sabre really cared
about our well-being,
31
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:06,924
they would set up
hand-desanitizing
stations.
32
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,366
A simple bowl
at every juncture
33
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,962
filled with dirt,
vomit, fecal matter.
34
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,062
Exposing yourself
to germs...
35
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,164
I'm not going
to do that.
36
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,472
...is the best way to
make yourself stronger.
37
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,479
So by that rationale,
if I had to sneeze,
I should just sneeze on you.
38
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,673
Yes. I would
welcome it.
39
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:23,873
40
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:26,978
You're welcome.
41
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,383
The principle is sound.
42
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:31,219
To avoid illness,expose yourself to germs,
43
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:34,750
enabling your immune systemto develop antibodies.
44
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,056
45
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:38,758
I don't know whyeveryone doesn't do this.
46
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,996
Maybe they havesomething againstliving forever.
47
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,951
Jim, Pam,
48
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:10,020
and the precious
bundle of God's
best everything,
49
00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:12,529
I wish you both
a pleasant day.
50
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,066
And you, too.
Yes. Praise God.
51
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,125
Okay.
52
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:17,329
PAM: Cece's gettingchristened today.
53
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:18,394
JIM: Big day.
54
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,597
Everyone from
work is here.
55
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,698
We weren't
planning on that.
56
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:22,868
Nope.
57
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,511
Top of the Sunday
morning to you.
58
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,604
And a top of the day
to you, too, sir.
59
00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,245
I hope you brought
your pipes.
60
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,408
We're about to smoke
the opium of the masses.
61
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,213
Oh, yes,
doobie-doobie-doo.
62
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:32,343
63
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,786
I invited everyone
in the office
64
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:38,155
because it's not
a day for just Jim,
65
00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:41,154
or Pam, or the baby, or me.
66
00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,092
It is about us all.
67
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:46,462
And I thought we
should all celebrate
68
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,594
my joy and our...
All of our joys.
69
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,935
Oh, man...
70
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:53,631
71
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,775
ANDY: Does the Nard dogwant Nard pups? Yeah.
72
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,607
I want a big old
litter of Nard pups,
73
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,307
all jumping around
and sucking on the teat.
74
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,940
Put them in a box,
give them to my neighbors.
75
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,518
Yeah, I want kids.
76
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,045
For all your paper
and printer needs.
77
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,783
For all your paper
and printer needs.
78
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,393
For all your paper
and printer needs.
79
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:16,487
TOBY: Sunday church service.It's been a few years.
80
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:20,263
The big guy and I,
we've got some
catching up to do.
81
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,227
Hey. Hey.
82
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:27,665
I got an offer
that you can't refuse.
Scooch over.
83
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,334
Oh, Michael, this is
just for family.
84
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:30,911
But I'm the godfather.
85
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,206
It is really funny,
but, you know,
86
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:33,975
that can be confusing
at a christening,
87
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,913
because you are
not the godfather.
88
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:37,983
Are you talking to me?
89
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:39,511
Okay, your turn.
90
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,953
Scooch, before
I shoot you
in the head.
91
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,783
Okay, Michael, um,
92
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,189
you know, I love
when you do that voice,
93
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:49,091
but today,
I'm so sorry,
94
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:52,155
I need you to tell me
that you know you're
not Cece's godfather.
95
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,229
Yeah.
96
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,800
I'm sorry, Michael.
I need you to say it.
I'm so sorry.
97
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,234
I'm not the godfather.
98
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:02,908
Okay. Thank you.
99
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,212
So who is
the godfather?
100
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:08,042
Our friend Seth and
his wife there. Yeah.
101
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,082
Okay.
102
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:14,044
Old friend, like,
you've known him
since kindergarten?
103
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,317
No, I met his wife
in Mommy And Me.
104
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,982
They're a great couple.
You should meet them later.
105
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,084
No, I have plenty
of friends, so...
106
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,988
All right, well,
you have great seats.
Enjoy the show.
107
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,362
Okay. Thank you
for coming, Michael.
108
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,662
MICHAEL: I don't evenknow how to say this.
109
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:32,431
But Cece is turning out
to be a little B-I-T-C-H.
110
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,534
And that's not true,
111
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,906
but her parents are
kind of boxing me out.
112
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:43,211
113
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,180
Good morning.
ALL: Good morning.
114
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,247
Good morning.
115
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,254
What a terrific
day this is,
116
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:54,988
and not just because
the Eagles are playing.
117
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:56,693
118
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,459
You may have seen
the bus out front.
119
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,092
Today we also
say goodbye to our
young adult ministry.
120
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,701
They're leaving
for three months
121
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:06,672
to build a school for
the village of Quimixto
in Cabo Corrientes, Mexico.
122
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,599
I've heard of that place.
123
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:12,510
If you go to Cabo San Lucas,
all the prostitutes
are from Cabo Corrientes.
124
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,675
Okay, this is...
All right, this is silly.
125
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:24,417
Nope, nope, nope, nope,
nope, nope, nope, nope.
126
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:28,050
And thank you
for your prayers
for Justin.
127
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,596
We hope for
a speedy recovery.
128
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,087
Thank you.
129
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:34,428
Anyone else
with a prayer
or a remembrance?
130
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,330
Good morning.
Dwight Schrute.
131
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:44,310
Thank you all for
your prayers and
your remembrances.
132
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,538
Like Justin and
his disfigurement,
133
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,172
I, too, have had
a horrible year.
134
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:52,508
They say that
the middle class
is disappearing,
135
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,555
and with it,
the soul of America.
136
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,857
So, as a gift to this
beautiful congregation,
137
00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:00,917
I would like to
offer a 4% discount
138
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,725
on all Dunder
Mifflin-Sabre products
139
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,494
if you buy a printer
at full price.
140
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,333
Christening calls
to repentance,
141
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,634
to faithfulness
and to discipleship.
142
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:15,674
We've come to
celebrate these babies.
143
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,140
Somebody needs a change.
144
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,540
Right now?
145
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,376
Well, she can't
bring this up with her.
146
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,046
Okay.
147
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:26,814
All right, come on.
Where are we going?
Where are we going?
148
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,785
We're gonna take
a little field trip.
149
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,285
Okay. Okay.
150
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,817
There's my girl.
All right.
151
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:37,358
Hold on one second.
There we go.
152
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,420
153
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:40,194
What's that face for?
154
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,132
Oh, my... Oh, my God.
155
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,728
Cece, no.
No, no, no.
Not on the dress.
156
00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:45,828
Cece, stop.
157
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,879
158
00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,275
What?
What?
159
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,887
Honey, no.
Yes.
160
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,116
No, no.
161
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:04,316
This is happening.
162
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,755
We have an extra
outfit in the bag.
163
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,486
No. There's no
extra outfit
in the bag.
164
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:09,926
You said you checked it.
I did
165
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:11,787
say that.
166
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,494
At this time,
will the families
please come join me?
167
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,905
MICHAEL: Jim and Pamand Cece reallyseem to be clicking.
168
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,371
They are totally gelling.
169
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,136
It's as if they leavemy office and theygo to another office
170
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,040
that sells happiness.
171
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,134
And good for them.
172
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:28,614
That's great,because, you know,
173
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,651
the paper industry's
not gonna last forever.
174
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,715
MINISTER: Before we go,
I'd like to remind everyone
175
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,658
that the Halberts
have been kind enough
to host a reception next door
176
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:41,217
immediately
following the service.
177
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,956
Mmm. Mmm.
178
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,725
No. Wrong on
both counts.
179
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:48,027
Okay, A, "Halbert"?
180
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:51,762
And, B, I think a more
appropriate statement
would be,
181
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:54,865
"The 'Halberts'
are hosting an
intimate reception
182
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,432
"for their
invited guests."
183
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,746
For all their
generosity of spirit,
184
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,941
they password-protect
their wireless?
185
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,074
Try "Jesus."
186
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:04,611
Opus Dei.
187
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,619
Hi. Good morning.
188
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,650
Good morning.
189
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,588
Good morning.
Good morning.
190
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,057
Hello.
191
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,457
192
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,223
How are you?
Good morning.
193
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,697
Good morning.
Good morning.
194
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,062
MICHAEL: I am feeling this.
195
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,636
Call it the Holy Spiritor the Passion of the Christ,
196
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,762
I am loving these people.
197
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,173
Hi.
Thanks for having us.
198
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:31,677
I'm Doug McPherson,
Davey's uncle.
199
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,244
Oh, well, Dave is
an adorable baby.
200
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,474
Davey.
201
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:36,844
Yeah.
202
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,141
203
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,183
Well, this is intimate.
204
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,847
We just had to add
a few more tables.
205
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,322
We weren't expecting
this many people.
206
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:45,855
You don't know them all?
207
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,393
Nope. And we're gonna need
208
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:50,123
a loaves and fishes
kind of miracle
to feed them all.
209
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,523
Jesus is not
your caterer.
210
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,100
But he should be
your caterer, 'cause
you're a little angel.
211
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,534
Why didn't your parents
get you a caterer?
212
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,365
'Cause they don't think.
213
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,967
Mmm! Don't listen to her.
214
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,773
She's just jealous
'cause she doesn't
get to come home
215
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,836
to someone
as cute as you.
216
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,504
You think she is jealous
about having a baby?
217
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,083
I don't know.
I'm just hungry.
218
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,743
Okay, well,
you know what,
everybody's hungry.
219
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,946
Sorry. I think
I'm just hungry.
220
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,992
Oh, after you.
Oh, no, after you.
221
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,960
No, I insist. After me.
222
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,620
I'm gonna
use that one.
223
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:24,663
Have a good lunch.
Thank you. You, too.
224
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,098
This is not the meal
I was promised.
225
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,898
I'm going to have
no energy for the
rest of the day.
226
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:34,031
I canceled my plans
to come to this thing
and they repay me with this?
227
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,334
You know what, guys?
Let's just enjoy lunch.
228
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,344
With what? How?
229
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,638
Sometimes, Michael.
230
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,713
Sometimes.
231
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,285
Excuse me, everyone,
on behalf of
the Youth Ministry
232
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:46,842
that's leaving
for Mexico,
233
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,718
I just wanted to
thank our hosts
234
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:52,220
and tell you about
those good-looking guys
and gals over there.
235
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,124
236
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:57,125
Teach For America
girls are way hotter,
237
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,591
but they're nuts.
238
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:01,290
This is Jessica Ortega.
239
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,927
I met her when
she and I were both
seven years old,
240
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:07,303
when my parents
took me to Quimixto
on a service trip.
241
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,508
Who takes
a kid to Mexico?
242
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,602
I would run to Mexico
if that's where
the sandwiches are.
243
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:12,668
Shh!
244
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:16,307
Right now,
Jessica's children
have to walk 12 miles
245
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:17,714
to a school
with dirt floors.
246
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:18,979
No.
247
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,980
It's gonna be three
months of hard work,
248
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:24,889
and when we're done,
we'll practically
be Quimixtanos.
249
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,286
Greg, hello,
it's Dwight from
the vestibule.
250
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,389
You want to know
my 11th commandment?
251
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,494
I will not be undersold.
252
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,621
Dwight. Dwight, hey.
253
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,395
I am ready to love
thy neighbor with
these kind of discounts.
254
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:36,697
Are you kidding me?
Stop it.
255
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,260
I'll call you back.
256
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,500
My parents
explained it
to me this way.
257
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:43,771
You wouldn't hesitate
to save a family member
from a burning building,
258
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:46,244
but what if the earth
was your building
259
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,941
and all the people on
it were your family?
260
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:52,247
What if the moon was
your car and Jupiter
was your hair brush?
261
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,048
MICHAEL: Shh!
Thank you.
262
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,089
Or should
I say, gracias.
263
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,230
Cece went down.
264
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,231
What was this?
You're out of it.
265
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,135
Scones.
I didn't get one.
266
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,265
Well, if it makes you
feel better, I didn't
get one either.
267
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,202
Is it just the one
jug of apple cider?
268
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,205
Who the heck was that?
269
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,007
I think that
was Sconesy Cider,
270
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,143
noted baptism
reception critic.
271
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,087
We need more food.
272
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,623
I'll go get some
subs and sodas.
273
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,056
All right.
274
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,284
And cider.
275
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:38,488
Look at that.
Look at that.
That's fun.
276
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,659
We need to do stuff
together outside of work.
277
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:46,231
Let's go help Africa.
Let's go build an airport.
278
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,534
We'll start small.
We'll have a carwash.
279
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,736
We'll send some
cheerleaders
to regionals.
280
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:53,005
You could feed
the hungry. Us.
281
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:54,672
OSCAR: Why do we have
to do something together?
282
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:56,477
I volunteer
at a clinic
on my own time.
283
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,176
Yeah, well, that's
just a pick-up scene.
284
00:11:58,251 --> 00:11:59,844
MICHAEL: Okay, we don't
have to volunteer.
285
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,387
But I think
we should hang
out more together.
286
00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:04,218
We are hanging out.
Right now.
287
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,783
You want some
more of this?
288
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,521
Look at these people.
These are church-going
people.
289
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:11,390
And they know
how to party.
290
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:12,864
Church isn't
a party, Michael.
291
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,560
Well, it's... It's...
Welcome to the party.
292
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,865
Everybody have
their Kool-Aid?
No.
293
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,529
Okay, you know what?
That's inappropriate.
294
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:19,595
What is wrong
with you guys?
295
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:20,731
What is wrong
with you?
296
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,741
What is so horrible
about wanting to
297
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,209
get together and
do something nice?
298
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,074
Why did you guys
even come today?
299
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:27,339
What's so great
about your lives
300
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,109
that you think
you're better
than everybody else?
301
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,810
That you can make
fun of everybody else?
302
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,950
You're mean.
You're mean girls,
303
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,551
like the movie
Mean Girls.
304
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,081
And Kevin and Stanley,
305
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,683
if you don't stop
worrying so much
306
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,729
about what you're
gonna put in your gullet,
307
00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:45,264
you're gonna die
in about a month.
308
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:52,030
Oh, hey, Meemaw,
would you watch
Cece for a second?
309
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:55,165
Don't worry. She's asleep.
I'm just gonna track
down some more chairs.
310
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:56,539
Fine.
311
00:12:56,643 --> 00:13:00,045
Fine, I guess I'll
watch Suzanne's purse
and your baby.
312
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,481
313
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:10,750
314
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,626
Bye. Good luck.
315
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,665
Good luck to you. Bye.
316
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,598
Do good. Do good.
317
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,000
Bye. Have fun.
318
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,433
We're proud of you.
319
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,767
320
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,916
Bye. Okay.
321
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,248
Hey. Hey. Is this
the bus to Mexico?
322
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,788
ALL: Yeah!
323
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:44,949
I'll take a shirt.
324
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,083
Are you coming?
325
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:48,318
If you'll have me, yes.
Heck, yes.
326
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:51,057
Really?
327
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,366
Thank you.
All right.
328
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,102
Michael? Get off the bus.
329
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,694
No, I'm not.
I'm staying on the bus.
330
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,364
I'm already on the bus.
I'm going.
331
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,099
Michael,
this is irresponsible.
332
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,609
It is not irresponsible!
333
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:07,169
I have never been
more confident about
a decision in my life.
334
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,010
I agree.
I think it's superb.
335
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,414
Well, you have
a job to do. Okay?
336
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,678
There is no off-season
when it comes
to printer sales.
337
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,744
You know what?
My job will be
here when I get back.
338
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,790
Michael, you can't
go to Mexico.
339
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:17,949
You don't have
your passport.
340
00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:19,716
You don't need
one to get in.
341
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,125
Plus, we can just
have it sent to him
down in Mexico.
342
00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,252
Hey, right?
343
00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:26,060
Michael, what am I supposed
to tell my clients
if they ask about you?
344
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:29,432
Tell them that I died
and I turned into an angel,
345
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,038
and when they
feel a breeze
346
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,665
in a room with all
the windows closed
347
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:37,472
or that chill on
the back of their neck,
348
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,910
that is just me
watching over them.
349
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,311
Okay, but what
about the bigger
corporate accounts?
350
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,439
Tell them that
I'm in a meeting.
351
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,211
Michael, I am just
about to close a sale.
352
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:46,616
Can I authorize
a 15% discount?
353
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:47,676
No, you may not.
354
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:49,755
ERIN: I think it's
really cool, Michael.
355
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:51,888
I wish I had a job
that I could just leave.
356
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:53,251
Thank you.
357
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,157
Save me an aisle seat,
Michael! I'm coming!
358
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:03,099
I will not stand idly by
while these Mexican
villagers are sick.
359
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,864
We're actually
building them
a school.
360
00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:05,927
Whatever.
361
00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:06,995
They need to learn.
362
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,598
I won't...
I won't stand for it.
363
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,312
See you in
a few months.
364
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,244
If the whole world
were like you guys,
365
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:20,081
we wouldn't have
so many problems.
366
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,018
Hmm, that's not gonna happen.
367
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,522
We're one in a million.
368
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,682
I know.
369
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,591
Nobody I know
would leave their jobs
and friends and families
370
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,526
to do manual labor
for three months.
371
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:33,324
Well, you know what?
Everybody thinks
that I am crazy,
372
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:37,632
and that tells me
that I am the sanest
person I know. So...
373
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,165
Just a heads up.
Probably gonna be
borrowing a few things.
374
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:44,641
Gonna need
a contact lens case,
375
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,202
some sunscreen,
some sandals...
376
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,412
Why you always got
to be so mean to me?
377
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,926
Uh, Meemaw, where's Cece?
378
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:06,556
I don't know.
I lost the purse, too.
379
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,939
Goodbye, Lackawanna county.
380
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:15,336
How long till
we get to Mexico?
381
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,266
Well, two days minus...
382
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:19,369
How long we've
been on the road,
45 minutes?
383
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,246
So, like, two days
basically. Maybe more.
384
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,409
What are we
building down
there again?
385
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:27,611
Like, a hospital?
A school for Mexicans? What?
386
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,118
I don't know,
I thought it was
like a gymnasium or...
387
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,181
Why aren't they
building it themselves?
388
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:33,385
They don't know how.
389
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:34,927
Do we know how?
I don't know how.
390
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,292
You know how?
Well, Carla knows.
391
00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:39,092
Carla knows.
392
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,494
Oh.
393
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,229
I feel like there
were so many more
people on this bus.
394
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:46,033
There were, like,
200, 300 people before.
395
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,935
Hey, Carla?
396
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:51,571
Carla?
397
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,110
Hi. What are you doing?
398
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,773
Mmm, trying to sleep.
399
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,717
What is happening?
400
00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:05,622
Oh, God,
what is happening?
401
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,191
Do you smell like
a weird, warm cheese?
402
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:14,525
Oh, God,
you know what?
403
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,863
I am gonna be
in Mexico for
my half-birthday.
404
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,837
And the Christmas party.
And Cinco De Mayo.
405
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:20,806
Nah. No, we'll be
back before that.
406
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:23,877
No, we...
You know how
these things go.
407
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,538
Construction projects,
they say three months,
408
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:30,105
and then, after two years,
the lazy bums
haven't even started.
409
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:32,310
Now we're those lazy bums.
410
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,651
I gotta get
off this bus.
411
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,690
Hey, guys,
has anybody
seen the baby?
412
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,786
Here's her carrier,
but no Cece.
413
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,354
Jim, Jim, I want
to give a toast.
414
00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:46,592
Where's the little
girl of honor?
415
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:47,656
I don't know, Dad.
I don't know.
416
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,894
I don't mean to bug,
417
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,231
but do you know
when those subs
are due into port?
418
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:51,396
I got a hungry bunch
of McPhersons over there.
419
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,996
I don't know.
Hey, have you
seen my baby?
420
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,564
I think maybe some
blonde lady had her.
421
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,473
A small blonde woman?
Smaller than me.
422
00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:59,671
Everyone.
Everyone, can I just
have your attention?
423
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,441
Has anyone
seen a small...
424
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,380
Stop that tiny,
blonde woman!
She stole my baby!
425
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,249
What are you doing?
426
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,343
Give me the baby.
427
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,218
What? Kevin!
428
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:12,986
Hi, honey.
I was just
changing the baby.
429
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:15,961
Hi. Hi. All right.
430
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:17,925
Travel safe, Angela.
431
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,863
Did you think
I stole your baby?
432
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,025
What's that?
433
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,200
Oh, yeah,
back then I did.
Just now.
434
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:27,068
So don't,
because I've got
my eye on you.
435
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,901
Look at
these scones, Jim.
436
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,239
Give me that!
437
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,835
Thousands of them.
438
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:36,473
What kind of a person
steals scones from a baby?
439
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,177
Someone put them
in my bag.
440
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,182
So that was lunch, eh?
441
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:45,120
McPherson troop,
let's haul out.
Rendezvous at Friendly's.
442
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,124
Did you lose Cece?
443
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:49,184
Yeah.
444
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,491
Yeah, a little bit. I did.
445
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,224
Can you fake a seizure
or a heart attack
or something?
446
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,667
I can make myself cry.
447
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,034
Do that. Do it.
448
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,903
Should I...
I got it. I got it.
449
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:05,035
Hey, I saw a sign
for a scenic
overlook coming up.
450
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,545
Really love to
check out the view.
451
00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,103
Can't stop.
We're on a schedule.
452
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:11,006
Well, there's
a nice bistro
coming up.
453
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,052
We could pick up some
paninis for the road.
454
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,781
Maybe we'll stop
in Tennessee.
455
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,186
It's unsafe to
talk to a driver.
456
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:19,783
Okay, driver, driver,
if you're not gonna
stop this bus,
457
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,885
then I'm going
to stop it for you.
458
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,829
Okay? Hang on.
459
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:28,400
Stopping in Tennessee.
460
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,761
Hey, is there
a problem, you guys?
461
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,963
Yeah, just get him to
stop the bus, please.
462
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,129
Why?
463
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:35,902
Just make him stop
the freaking bus!
464
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,068
Stop the bus, okay?
465
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,202
Are you okay, sir?
466
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,438
I didn't sign up for this.
467
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,209
You guys are young,
that's great.
468
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,113
You want to give
back to society.
469
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,549
I've done that.
470
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:46,745
I need to take.
471
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:48,811
You have plenty
left to give.
You're doing...
472
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:49,878
Blah-di-blah!
473
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,924
It doesn't matter.
We could go back
and forth all day.
474
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,721
It's not gonna
solve anything.
475
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,989
If we went to Mexico,
we'd probably screw
everything up anyway.
476
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:58,963
Do you want that
for little Jessica?
No, you don't.
477
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,055
And the answer is clear.
478
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,164
Stop the bus. Okay?
Stop the bus!
479
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,998
Stop the bus!
Stop the bus!
480
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,833
Stop the bus!
Stop the bus!
481
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,134
Stop the bus!
Stop the bus!
482
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,341
Okay, stop the dang bus.
483
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:12,908
Okay, well, a pleasure.
484
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,237
Go save the world.
485
00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:17,408
We'll keep an eye
on America for you.
486
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,487
Wait for me!
487
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,597
Don't say anything
to my parents.
488
00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:46,668
Get in quick.
489
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,445
Why quick?
So it's faster.
490
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:53,278
Do you guys want
me to take you home
or go back to the church?
491
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:54,479
Is anyone still
at the church?
492
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:57,045
No. Actually,
most of them went
to go see a movie.
493
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:58,384
What? Shut up.
494
00:20:58,457 --> 00:20:59,447
Yeah.
495
00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:02,255
Kevin suggested it,
and then they all went
in Meredith's minivan.
496
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:05,526
It is so nice to
be back in a country
that has movies.
497
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:07,329
I bet, you guys...
498
00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:08,731
Can I come?
499
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,430
Oh! Lake Wobegon is on.
500
00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:14,905
Do you guys...
Are you cool with that?
501
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:16,374
MAN ON RADIO:
...banana bread, but,
502
00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:18,671
Fred Northquesthad no appetite.
503
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,838
He was thinking abouthis pair of new boots.
504
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:24,850
It'd been 10 yearsafter all, and, as hetold Mrs. Northquest,
505
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:28,684
it would take two yearsto get comfortablewith the new boots.
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