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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:03,964 Look at that, huh? Nice! 2 00:00:04,237 --> 00:00:05,761 I love cycling. 3 00:00:05,838 --> 00:00:07,635 Andy, I feel like a tourist in my own city. 4 00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:09,197 I literally can't wait to wake up every morning. 5 00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:11,070 Okay. She is a beaut. 6 00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:13,578 Can't beat a horse. A horse is a bike that pedals itself. 7 00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:14,772 Yes, it is. 8 00:00:14,847 --> 00:00:15,905 Look at that, smooth roll. 9 00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:17,279 Yeah. KEVIN: You got it! 10 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,408 Lance Armstrong's bike. 11 00:00:18,484 --> 00:00:19,473 Yes! 12 00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:22,646 His ass was on that seat? All right! KEVIN: Nice. 13 00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:24,314 No, Meredith, it's not his actual bicycle. 14 00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:27,018 But it is the same exact model he uses. 15 00:00:27,126 --> 00:00:28,923 I'm on Sheryl Crow's side in that whole thing, 16 00:00:28,995 --> 00:00:30,724 so I feel really weird right now. 17 00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:32,162 PAM: Michael! MICHAEL: Oh, God! 18 00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:35,324 Yes, I can ride a bike. 19 00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:38,029 I take spinning classes three times a month. 20 00:00:38,604 --> 00:00:40,128 I think I know how to ride a bike. 21 00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:41,638 Are you sure you once knew how to do this? 22 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,005 I did, yes! 23 00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:46,944 I had those extra wheels on the back that support you. 24 00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:48,776 Michael! Michael! 25 00:00:49,048 --> 00:00:50,106 ALL: Michael! Michael! 26 00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:51,172 Michael! Michael! 27 00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:52,342 Michael! Michael! 28 00:00:52,418 --> 00:00:53,442 Michael! Yeah! 29 00:00:53,519 --> 00:00:54,543 All right! PAM: Yeah! 30 00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:55,609 Just steer more now. 31 00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:56,712 Oh, my God! 32 00:00:56,789 --> 00:00:58,313 Not the car! No, no. 33 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,653 34 00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:04,924 You never forget. 35 00:01:04,997 --> 00:01:06,225 36 00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:29,246 37 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:31,554 How do I look? 38 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:32,921 Amazing. How do I look? 39 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,384 Normal. Ugly. 40 00:01:36,028 --> 00:01:37,893 Well, I do the best with what I've got. 41 00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,761 Let's go. All right. 42 00:01:40,666 --> 00:01:44,102 Wait, wait, wait, wait for me. It's weird if I come in slightly after. 43 00:01:44,303 --> 00:01:48,171 We have a big meeting with the chief buyer for Frames Select, Steve Nash. 44 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,209 He's not "the" Steve Nash. He's... 45 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:52,301 He's big, though. He's kind of like Scranton's Steve Nash. 46 00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:54,869 Will you stop trying to put it in terms you think they'll understand? 47 00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:55,971 It's condescending. 48 00:01:56,048 --> 00:01:57,709 I'm not doing that. I'm just explaining. 49 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,344 And who is this "the" Steve Nash? 50 00:02:01,087 --> 00:02:02,554 Phoenix Suns' point guard? 51 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:03,987 No. No? Nothing? 52 00:02:04,056 --> 00:02:05,956 No, Mr. Jock Hipster. 53 00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:08,755 Well, I'm neither of those things, so... 54 00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:11,018 Oh ho. 55 00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:13,127 Libby Dirketts got married. 56 00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:15,997 Big, red mazel tov to the Libster. 57 00:02:16,602 --> 00:02:17,591 Ooh. 58 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:20,639 It says here Dan Becker fell off the side of Kilimanjaro 59 00:02:20,706 --> 00:02:22,003 in a climbing accident. 60 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,003 It appears Dan's Sherpa survived 61 00:02:24,076 --> 00:02:25,703 to tell the tale... Oh, my God! 62 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,139 What? Is Dan okay? 63 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,872 No, he died. 64 00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:30,540 It's Broccoli Rob. 65 00:02:30,616 --> 00:02:32,777 You know this guy. I showed you his picture on Facebook. 66 00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:34,577 Yes. 67 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:39,250 "Some Vermont-based alums can hear 'Broccoli' Rob Blatt, '96, 68 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:42,590 "in the state milk lobby's new milk awareness song Calci-yum, 69 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,755 "featuring Phish's Trey Anastasio. 70 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,493 "Says Broccoli, 'Trey and I had a ton of fun in the studio, 71 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,091 "'and I think you can hear it in the song."' 72 00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:50,931 Oh, that's great news for your friend. 73 00:02:51,904 --> 00:02:53,337 Yeah. Yeah. It's great. 74 00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:56,432 You know, I forget about milk. This is a terrific reminder. 75 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,611 I was the artsy musical one. 76 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:06,548 In Here Comes Treble, I had four solos, Broccoli Rob had three. 77 00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:07,847 Right? 78 00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:10,083 79 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,726 Go tell her we're here. You're good with receptionists. Ha. 80 00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:19,526 Dwight. 81 00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:25,562 Crap. 82 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,430 Danny Cordray is the worst. 83 00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:29,839 Well, by worst, you mean the best. 84 00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:31,774 The best salesman ever. 85 00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:33,539 He works for Osprey Paper over in Throop, 86 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:35,581 steals more clients from Dunder Mifflin than anyone. 87 00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:37,275 So the situation is the worst. 88 00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:38,749 Also, he slept with Pam. 89 00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:40,308 No, he didn't. 90 00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:46,350 Tell them. Nothing happened. 91 00:03:46,425 --> 00:03:49,519 We went on a couple of dates. He never called me again. 92 00:03:49,595 --> 00:03:52,257 What? He never called you? I thought you said it just fizzled. 93 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:54,822 That's fizzling. I mean, someone has to start the fizzle. 94 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,163 Yeah, I thought you started it. 95 00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:58,066 No, I liked him. 96 00:03:58,137 --> 00:04:00,128 For a couple of days. 97 00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:01,730 Four years ago. 98 00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,170 You know I have a kid with you, right? 99 00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:06,506 Aah! 100 00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:10,781 I'm gonna intimidate him. Okay? 101 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:11,874 Okay, great. 102 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:13,578 I'm just gonna watch. Watch this. 103 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:16,816 So anyway, she says, "That is the biggest penis I have ever seen." 104 00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:18,117 And I said, "I know. 105 00:04:18,190 --> 00:04:20,181 "That's why I brought you to the penis museum, 106 00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:23,751 "where tickets are $1,000." Well, hello, Danny. 107 00:04:23,829 --> 00:04:26,798 Hey, Dwight. Good to see you. Jim, hey. 108 00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:27,992 How are you? I'm good. 109 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,432 What are you doing? 110 00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:30,833 Well, I'm just here for the coffee. 111 00:04:31,203 --> 00:04:33,137 Like hell you are. Dwight! 112 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:35,268 He's not just here for the coffee, Jim. Wake up. 113 00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:39,170 Brainstorming session is now open. 114 00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:41,839 Anyone has an idea... Hold on. 115 00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:44,883 Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hello? 116 00:04:45,117 --> 00:04:48,086 Hey, it's Jim. Listen, this is important. Are you busy? 117 00:04:48,154 --> 00:04:49,746 Oh, hey. No, I'm not busy. What's up? 118 00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:51,551 You are busy! We're in a meeting! What? 119 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,717 It's Jim, okay? Yes. 120 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:54,919 Listen, you gotta get over here, 121 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,086 'cause we're pitching Steve Nash 122 00:04:56,162 --> 00:04:57,493 and Danny Cordray's here. 123 00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,424 You need the big guns, yes? 124 00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:00,931 Yes. What'd he say? 125 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,865 What did he say? The big gun thing. Stop. 126 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,335 I will see you in 10. Bye! Hold tight. 127 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,328 128 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,502 Well, I know a lot of you thought 129 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:11,236 that my sales days were behind me. 130 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,436 And, to be honest, so did I. 131 00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:15,477 And the only reason I got out of the sales game 132 00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:17,277 was to be reluctantly called back in. 133 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,084 You don't look reluctant, Michael. You look really eager. 134 00:05:20,152 --> 00:05:23,781 No, I don't have time for this. Are you kidding me? 135 00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:26,188 PAM: You don't? No! Okay. All right. 136 00:05:28,794 --> 00:05:30,887 Knockity-knock, Don't knock back 137 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:33,932 Just kidding, you can knock. It's your office. Do you have a minute? 138 00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:36,665 I'm very busy with time-sensitive work. 139 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,631 Not to go all Sherlock Holmes on you, 140 00:05:39,705 --> 00:05:41,263 but I can tell by the reflection in your glasses 141 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:43,672 that you're entering points into weightwatchers. Com. 142 00:05:43,909 --> 00:05:46,844 If you don't enter them immediately, you forget. 143 00:05:47,713 --> 00:05:48,702 What? 144 00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:51,944 I'm starting a band, and I need you on keyboards. 145 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,211 Nah! 146 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,511 I play for pleasure. 147 00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:55,981 This is for pleasure. 148 00:05:56,722 --> 00:05:57,746 Wouldn't enjoy that. 149 00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:58,981 I'm willing to pay you. 150 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:00,750 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 151 00:06:00,826 --> 00:06:02,555 How much? 60 bucks a session. 152 00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:04,152 That's crazy money. 153 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,219 I'll take 40. 154 00:06:05,297 --> 00:06:06,286 Yes! 155 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,099 There he is. 156 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:11,995 Oh, no, that's a male model. 157 00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:14,039 No, that's him. That... 158 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:16,634 Hello. 159 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:19,437 Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. 160 00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:20,638 Danny Cordray, Osprey Paper. 161 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,771 Nice to meet you. 162 00:06:22,481 --> 00:06:23,641 Three of you guys for one sale? 163 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:26,184 Yeah, well... We call it overkill. 164 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:28,186 Why am I telling you my strategy? 165 00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,480 Well, whatever works for you. 166 00:06:30,856 --> 00:06:32,050 Anyway, all right. All right. 167 00:06:32,124 --> 00:06:33,284 Good to see you guys. Nice to meet you. 168 00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:34,451 Goodbye. 169 00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,654 I could swear that guy was a male model. 170 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:37,753 He's ready for you. 171 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:38,819 Oh! Thank you. 172 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,128 All right. On the count of three, it's show time. 173 00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:42,791 Ready, one, two... No, I'm not doing that. 174 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,301 I've been in show time mode since breakfast. 175 00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:45,837 You're not? Okay, all right, just forget it then. 176 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,770 Show time! It's show time! 177 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,774 Never mind. Let's go. 178 00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:52,367 When I knock on your door, you know who it is. 179 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:53,673 It's Michael Scott. 180 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,407 We've been together forever, and... 181 00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:57,472 Michael, I appreciate everything 182 00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,609 that Dunder Mifflin has done for this company. 183 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:02,518 You know what? You are having some problems with your loading dock. 184 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:06,422 Are you not? All right, we're going to deliver to you on weekends. 185 00:07:06,792 --> 00:07:08,020 That's very generous, but... 186 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,959 And you know what else we're gonna do? 187 00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,326 I can't believe I'm gonna say this. 188 00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:14,127 We are going to offer you our paper at cost. 189 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,292 I know. 190 00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:16,999 I could get in a lot of trouble for this, 191 00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:18,058 so you'd better shake my hand right now. 192 00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:19,126 He's not kidding. 193 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:20,194 Shake it, shake it! 194 00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:21,364 Michael, I'm going with Danny. 195 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:22,629 Oh. 196 00:07:23,175 --> 00:07:24,199 Thanks for coming in. 197 00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:25,944 Okay. Thank you. 198 00:07:26,011 --> 00:07:27,171 Thank you. 199 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:30,915 Jim talked too much. No, I didn't. 200 00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:32,814 Yes, you did. Stop it. Just stop it. 201 00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:36,184 We did what we should have done. We just got bested. 202 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,185 Why is there a door close button 203 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:40,589 if it doesn't even close the door? 204 00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:44,562 How do I feel about losing the sale? 205 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:48,259 It's like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, 206 00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:51,667 jumped in the pool, belly-flopped and drowned. 207 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,333 You know who we always lose out to? 208 00:07:54,406 --> 00:07:56,738 Staples, the big guys... 209 00:07:57,076 --> 00:08:00,603 Osprey? They're a small company. They're smaller than we are. 210 00:08:00,679 --> 00:08:03,512 What's our excuse? How do we combat this guy? 211 00:08:03,849 --> 00:08:05,043 Stanley, how do we combat him? 212 00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:06,175 We sell better? 213 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,014 Okay. You know what? 214 00:08:08,087 --> 00:08:10,920 You clearly don't care, so why don't you just leave? 215 00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:13,114 I would like to stay. This pertains to me. 216 00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:14,989 Why don't you go outside 217 00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:17,528 and take a shot of insulin and have a nap, okay? 218 00:08:17,596 --> 00:08:19,530 Why do you always assume I have diabetes? 219 00:08:19,598 --> 00:08:21,293 I don't know. Your frame, your build. 220 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:22,732 Why don't you have a glass of apple juice 221 00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:25,100 and tell me you're not a diabetic? 222 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,036 See? I could tell by the sound you made 223 00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:28,471 when you stood up that you have... 224 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:29,940 Okay. Yes, Phyllis? 225 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,135 I could try to seduce him. 226 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,575 Oh, my God! 227 00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:35,045 I know how we can learn his tricks. 228 00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:38,839 What I'm about to show you is of the utmost secrecy. 229 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,008 Is that your office? 230 00:08:41,086 --> 00:08:42,075 Yes, Jim. 231 00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:44,418 And with a little tweaking, it becomes a different office. 232 00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,789 We lure Danny to it and watch him sell. PHYLLIS: Oh. 233 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,555 I'm out of here. This is weird. 234 00:08:49,628 --> 00:08:51,687 You know what this is? This is a stinger. 235 00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:53,231 A what? 236 00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:54,391 Like the movie. 237 00:08:54,466 --> 00:08:56,331 I think you mean The Sting. 238 00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:58,165 Paul Newman, Robert Redford. They're bank robbers? 239 00:08:58,237 --> 00:08:59,431 Nope. Different movie. It's called The Stinger. 240 00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:00,836 The Sting. 241 00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:07,509 Your 2:00. 242 00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:08,837 Thanks, hon. 243 00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:11,106 Meredith was the perfect choice 244 00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:13,276 to play the head of the company. 245 00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:15,377 Her lunch break lined up with our appointment with Danny, 246 00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:17,752 and... That's it. 247 00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:19,791 That's really all we were looking for. 248 00:09:19,925 --> 00:09:21,483 Danny Cordray. It's great to meet you. 249 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,027 Meredith Van Helsing. Pleased to meet you. 250 00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:24,756 Meredith Van Helsing? 251 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,388 Van Helsing was a respected professor 252 00:09:26,465 --> 00:09:27,796 before he was a vampire killer. 253 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,835 Okay. But what is he more famous for? Shh. 254 00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:33,728 Hey! That's my mug. 255 00:09:33,806 --> 00:09:35,205 You know this isn't real TV, right? 256 00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,707 Yes. 257 00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:40,139 Please, Mr. President 258 00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:43,204 If you wanna Give hope a whirl 259 00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:46,046 Bring our troops Home safe and sound 260 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:48,177 Says this little girl 261 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,723 Please, Mr. President 262 00:09:51,957 --> 00:09:53,584 Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. 263 00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:56,651 So, the song is from the point of view of a little girl? 264 00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:58,319 Yeah. But you're singing it. 265 00:09:58,397 --> 00:09:59,887 Yeah. But I'm using my falsetto. 266 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,659 No, that's not a good idea. I don't see it as a very good song. 267 00:10:02,735 --> 00:10:04,464 Yeah, well, it'd sound a lot better 268 00:10:04,536 --> 00:10:06,231 if you actually sang with some soul. 269 00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:08,300 I never sing with soul. That's a lie. 270 00:10:08,407 --> 00:10:09,499 I could sing it. 271 00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:11,835 I just was hoping to maybe save your voice 272 00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:13,902 in case we did a novelty song about frogs. 273 00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:17,182 But my voice is unique. Like Bob Dylan. 274 00:10:17,549 --> 00:10:18,709 Okay, three-way argument 275 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,513 between a drummer, a keyboardist, 276 00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:22,247 and the front man, lead singer. 277 00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:24,856 Wonder who's gonna win this one. 278 00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:27,152 Two, three, four... 279 00:10:27,359 --> 00:10:29,293 I'm gonna take off my coat, if you don't mind. 280 00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:31,630 It's just a bit warm in here. 281 00:10:34,199 --> 00:10:35,632 Hello! 282 00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:37,191 No, no, no. Don't. 283 00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:39,260 People can't keep their true natures hidden for long, 284 00:10:39,338 --> 00:10:41,101 and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire. 285 00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:42,197 Testify. 286 00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:43,571 Okay, he's not that good-Iooking. 287 00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:44,734 I don't understand why everybody's... 288 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,141 Yeah, he is that good-Iooking. Okay? 289 00:10:46,211 --> 00:10:47,473 He's very, very handsome. 290 00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:49,946 That's a great set of shoulders you got there. 291 00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:52,279 What is that, genetics? 292 00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:53,409 Creatine? 293 00:10:53,485 --> 00:10:54,509 294 00:10:54,586 --> 00:10:55,644 Sorry. 295 00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:58,387 Yeah. Pull it together, all right? 296 00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:00,254 Stop looking at him. 297 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,657 I'm sorry. 298 00:11:04,229 --> 00:11:05,491 You're here to sell me some paper. 299 00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:09,625 Well, actually, no, Miss Van Helsing, that's not why I'm here. 300 00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:13,536 I'm here to meet you, see if we'd be a, you know, good fit. 301 00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:14,697 What do you mean? 302 00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:18,334 Oh, my God! He's making her sell to him. 303 00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:21,609 Bring our troops Home safe and sound 304 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,739 Says this little girl 305 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:26,745 Okay. Honest feedback time. Oscar. 306 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:30,149 That's pandering. And it makes me think you think I'm stupid. 307 00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:32,257 But do you think it could be famous? 308 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:33,723 Like in a car commercial or something? 309 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,257 Not really. 310 00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:37,420 It's kind of weird that a grown man is singing 311 00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:39,555 from the point of view of a little girl. Mmm-hmm. 312 00:11:39,631 --> 00:11:42,122 I feel like I can see someone ice skating to it, 313 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,032 you know, like in the Olympics. 314 00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:48,699 I don't think they usually skate to such bad songs. 315 00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,638 Rude. And not helpful. 316 00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,644 Well, I really, really, really liked it. 317 00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:56,581 Well, that really bums me out. 318 00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:58,876 You're welcome. 319 00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:01,714 Well, you should think of this as a first date. 320 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:04,051 And I think it's going very well. How about you? 321 00:12:04,289 --> 00:12:05,586 Real well. 322 00:12:05,657 --> 00:12:06,646 Uh... 323 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,953 Feels more like a third date to me. 324 00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,689 There you go! 325 00:12:12,197 --> 00:12:13,596 Stay... Shut up and let me do this! 326 00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:18,926 You know, what is with this desk keeping us so far apart? 327 00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:20,801 I've never been a desk man. 328 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:24,536 Always traveling on the road. Come on... Why not? Uh? 329 00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:27,009 Well, we'll get this... 330 00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:32,250 Oh, man. So, what's your drink? 331 00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:34,882 You a vodka man? Me, too. 332 00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:37,216 We gotta get someone else in there right now. 333 00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,189 You're an exec at Pennsylvania Solartech. 334 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,384 That sounds fake. 335 00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:41,483 What do you mean? I told you. 336 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,391 You're an exec at Stark Industries, 337 00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:44,895 a corporation you inherited from your father. 338 00:12:44,963 --> 00:12:46,362 Will you stop? Here's the story. 339 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,161 They need Meredith somewhere else ASAP, okay? 340 00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:49,291 Okay. So you're taking over. 341 00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:51,063 You just gotta get her out of there as soon as you can. 342 00:12:51,136 --> 00:12:52,694 I can do that. Then what? 343 00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:53,863 Then make him pitch to you. 344 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:54,997 You gotta see what he's got. Yes. 345 00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,473 Exactly. You can do this. Okay, and remember. 346 00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:57,736 You're not gay. 347 00:12:57,810 --> 00:12:58,970 Stop it. It's gonna be great. 348 00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:01,979 Listen, if anything else happens, just roll with it. 349 00:13:04,349 --> 00:13:05,338 Meredith, I... 350 00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:06,406 Manuel. 351 00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:10,046 This is Manuel, my cleaning man. He doesn't speak any English. 352 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,822 353 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,692 Manuel, cleano el window. 354 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:18,987 Give me the... 355 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:20,053 Who else we got? 356 00:13:22,367 --> 00:13:25,200 Okay. You're a young hotshot from Stark Industries. 357 00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:27,295 You've just bought this company. Meredith is fired. 358 00:13:27,372 --> 00:13:29,806 It's a whole new regime. He's gotta pitch to you now. 359 00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:31,809 Okay, Stark Industries isn't real. 360 00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:33,037 I run Google. 361 00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:34,841 Larry and Sergey brought me... Great. Sounds awesome. 362 00:13:34,913 --> 00:13:36,608 Just have him pitch to you. Don't let us down. 363 00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:38,247 Will do. Won't do. 364 00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:39,678 Yeah, sure. 365 00:13:39,751 --> 00:13:41,082 You smell like a Scorpio. 366 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,312 This is Esteban, another cleaning man. 367 00:13:44,389 --> 00:13:46,687 He doesn't speak English either. 368 00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:48,726 Esteban, el flooro. 369 00:13:56,201 --> 00:13:58,863 You know what? I may have parked my car in a compact space, 370 00:13:58,937 --> 00:14:00,564 and I hate when I see others do that, so... 371 00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,231 Danny, I feel a real connection to you, 372 00:14:02,307 --> 00:14:03,535 and I got to get real. 373 00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:04,598 JIM: No. No, no, no. 374 00:14:04,676 --> 00:14:05,665 MICHAEL: No, no, no, no, no! 375 00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:06,904 I'm going in! I'm going in! Michael! 376 00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,412 No, Michael, stop it! No! 377 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,947 Stop, stop! Oh, my God! 378 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,540 Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it. 379 00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:15,212 Gross! Stop it, please. Everybody stop. 380 00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:16,810 Michael Scott. 381 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:17,947 I said stop. 382 00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:21,020 Okay, Danny, 383 00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:22,991 this is not Pennsylvania Solartech. 384 00:14:23,061 --> 00:14:25,086 This is Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. 385 00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:26,495 This is Meredith Palmer. 386 00:14:26,598 --> 00:14:28,088 Pleased to meet you. Don't... Stay away from him. 387 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,795 Please, just leave. Get out of here. Go. Forever. 388 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,060 Hmm. 389 00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:35,368 I owe you a most sincere and humble apology. 390 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:38,443 We were trying to watch you to see your sales technique 391 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,444 so we could stop losing so many clients to you. 392 00:14:40,812 --> 00:14:42,006 Watch from where? 393 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,604 A surveillance room next to this one. 394 00:14:43,682 --> 00:14:46,617 Okay, so you set up this fake company, 395 00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:49,916 then you hired this homeless woman to impersonate an executive, 396 00:14:50,355 --> 00:14:53,756 to spy on me so that you could copy my sales technique. 397 00:14:53,992 --> 00:14:55,823 Yes. And it's the sincerest form of flattery. 398 00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:57,452 Or crazy. 399 00:14:57,729 --> 00:14:58,889 Well... I'm gonna go. 400 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:01,057 Okay. You know what, it wasn't just me. 401 00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,392 Jim and Dwight are behind that wall 402 00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:06,069 in the surveillance room, and it was their plan, as well. 403 00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:07,332 No! No, no, no, no. 404 00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:08,834 Well, then, yeah. All right, hey! 405 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,841 Good luck, guys! 406 00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,342 Seems like you got a great operation here. 407 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,902 No, we don't. Here's... Here's my point. 408 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,340 Danny, listen, you have to understand 409 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,146 that we are not normally like this. 410 00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,949 We just... We wanted to know your tricks. 411 00:15:23,021 --> 00:15:24,818 What do you mean, tricks? There's no tricks, man. 412 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:27,415 I'm just a good salesman. You wanna copy that? You can't copy that! 413 00:15:27,492 --> 00:15:30,950 You are, you are. You are! Stop it, stop it. Stop. 414 00:15:31,029 --> 00:15:32,087 You are a good salesman. 415 00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:34,563 And because of that 416 00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:36,895 I want you to work for me. 417 00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,869 Sure. You seem like a fun, professional guy. 418 00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:40,195 So you will. No! 419 00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:41,830 Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold on. 420 00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:44,876 Hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. 421 00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:47,540 Danny, I want you to look at me. 422 00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:50,171 Do you want your life to be better 423 00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:51,910 or to be worse or to stay the same? 424 00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:53,718 Get out of my way. Answer the question. 425 00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:55,252 Do you want a better life, Danny? 426 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,117 I swear to God, I'm gonna hit you. 427 00:15:58,690 --> 00:16:00,954 I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I'm not... 428 00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:02,357 It's just, I'm very upset right now. I know. 429 00:16:02,427 --> 00:16:03,485 I'm very upset! I know, I know. 430 00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:07,054 Do you want more freedom, less freedom, or to stay the same? 431 00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:10,861 More freedom. I can give you more money. 432 00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:12,636 There's your better life. 433 00:16:12,704 --> 00:16:14,865 I can let you come and go as you please. 434 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,669 There's your freedom. 435 00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,141 And you already know Dunder Mifflin 436 00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:20,371 has the best service and the best prices. 437 00:16:20,445 --> 00:16:22,436 But you beat us anyway. 438 00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:26,610 Can you imagine how well you would do selling our stuff? 439 00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:32,490 Everyone, may I have your attention? 440 00:16:32,557 --> 00:16:35,720 I would like to introduce you to Mr. Danny Cordray. 441 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:39,929 He's going to be joining us as our new traveling salesman. 442 00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:41,497 Say hello to Danny! 443 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,293 me. 444 00:16:43,368 --> 00:16:45,199 Okay. You know what? 445 00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:47,170 No. No. 446 00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:50,868 This is not some sort of construction site, or all of Italy 447 00:16:50,942 --> 00:16:53,035 where you can just go around treating people like meat. 448 00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,711 We are to respect him. 449 00:16:55,213 --> 00:16:59,081 I respect him because he reminds me of somebody. 450 00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:00,379 Can anybody guess who that is? 451 00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:01,708 Josh Duhamel. 452 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:02,845 Yeah, I can see that! 453 00:17:02,954 --> 00:17:05,582 No. No. No. Somebody in this office. 454 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,750 He's like a better-Iooking Andy. 455 00:17:08,026 --> 00:17:09,050 Thanks, Kevin. 456 00:17:09,127 --> 00:17:10,924 No. Me. Right? 457 00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:14,325 Sort of like a little, younger version of me. 458 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,927 It's hard to judge ourselves accurately, isn't it? 459 00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:18,060 Michael. Yes. 460 00:17:18,136 --> 00:17:19,797 Can I talk to you about something? No, you may not. 461 00:17:19,871 --> 00:17:21,429 It's about this very announcement you just made. 462 00:17:21,506 --> 00:17:23,133 I said no. Michael... 463 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,539 Michael, I think you really want to talk to him. 464 00:17:24,609 --> 00:17:27,305 Okay, let's... All right, all right. Let's talk. 465 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,471 Please don't let him leave. Don't leave. 466 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,571 Got you. 467 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:31,013 You hired him? 468 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:32,107 Guys, let me ask you something. 469 00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:34,914 Do you want your life to be better or worse or stay the same? 470 00:17:34,986 --> 00:17:36,112 ALL: Stay the same. 471 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:39,089 Okay. Well, get ready, 'cause it's gonna get better. 472 00:17:39,424 --> 00:17:41,984 It's not gonna get better. He's gonna steal all of our clients. 473 00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:43,550 No. No. Wrong. 474 00:17:43,628 --> 00:17:45,357 He would have stolen your clients, 475 00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:47,125 but you know what? He can't now. 476 00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:49,224 This guy used to steal sales from us. 477 00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:51,427 Now he's going to steal sales for us. 478 00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:53,568 Where's he gonna sit? There's no more seats. 479 00:17:53,638 --> 00:17:55,299 He doesn't need to sit. He's a traveling salesman. 480 00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:58,241 Look, I am not going to exclude good people from our staff 481 00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,505 simply because they are threatening to you. 482 00:18:00,979 --> 00:18:02,378 And unless you have a better argument than that, 483 00:18:02,447 --> 00:18:03,778 I suggest you leave. 484 00:18:04,449 --> 00:18:05,438 Yeah. 485 00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:08,645 Where's he gonna park? There's no more reserved parking spots. 486 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:09,948 Goodbye! 487 00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:15,890 Songs about truth. Yeah. 488 00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:17,690 What's something you really care about? 489 00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:19,923 Reverse snobbery. 490 00:18:20,098 --> 00:18:21,156 More universal. 491 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,061 Sometimes I feel like life has passed me by. 492 00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:29,305 Couldn't get Out of bed today 493 00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:32,103 Wish the alarm clock Would go away 494 00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:33,201 Nice! 495 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,643 Holy crap. Are you kidding me? 496 00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,078 You just made that... That's amazing. 497 00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:37,206 Go ahead. 498 00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:39,681 Which me am I Gonna be today? 499 00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:42,049 Which me am I Gonna be today? 500 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,486 I got a closet full of mes Ha ha! 501 00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:48,458 Am I gonna be the happy me? 502 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:50,953 Or the me that stinks? 503 00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:53,854 Oh, my gosh. We're almost out of time. 504 00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:55,297 How much for another half hour? 505 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,264 Don't worry about it. 506 00:18:58,136 --> 00:19:00,263 Wait. Seriously? Yeah. 507 00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:02,971 So we're just, like, jamming as friends? 508 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,640 One, two, three, hit it. 509 00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:07,842 Closet full of mes... 510 00:19:07,979 --> 00:19:12,279 Oh, you know, funny, your wife and I went on a few dates. 511 00:19:13,151 --> 00:19:14,914 Did you? Yeah, way, way, way back. 512 00:19:14,986 --> 00:19:16,317 I'm just kidding. She told me about it. 513 00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:18,913 Good. She was not into me. 514 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,389 Oh. Obviously. 515 00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:21,856 I don't even think she called me back. 516 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,094 You snubbed her. Dwight, please. 517 00:19:24,162 --> 00:19:27,825 Let me handle this, Jim. Drop the act, Cordray. Okay? 518 00:19:27,899 --> 00:19:29,491 We all know that you probably thought 519 00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:33,004 that Pam was too "meh" or thin without being toned. 520 00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:34,363 But I wanna tell you something. 521 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:36,805 She is one of the plain, hearty women of Scranton 522 00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,740 that make this city great. 523 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:40,437 And so what if she doesn't wear makeup? 524 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:41,706 I wear makeup. 525 00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:44,180 We like her better that way! And you steal clients, don't you? 526 00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:45,708 Don't you? 527 00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:47,409 Okay, that's different. 528 00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:49,010 "That's different," is it? 529 00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:51,146 Okay, thief. 530 00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:54,249 You better check your things, people. In fact, where are my keys? 531 00:19:54,759 --> 00:19:58,195 Oh. They're in my pocket. False alarm. 532 00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:00,256 Okay. 533 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,959 So you're gonna be working here. 534 00:20:05,937 --> 00:20:06,926 Uh... 535 00:20:07,572 --> 00:20:08,698 I mean... Yeah. 536 00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:10,598 Welcome aboard. 537 00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:14,606 Thank you. 538 00:20:14,679 --> 00:20:16,840 Hey, crazy. Um... 539 00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:19,816 So, that's it? You're just... You're fine? 540 00:20:19,951 --> 00:20:23,216 It's after 5:00, Jim. I'm not gonna take this home. 541 00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:25,880 Pleasure. 542 00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:27,451 Thanks. 543 00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:30,552 This morning, Danny Cordray stole a sale from me. So what do I do? 544 00:20:30,795 --> 00:20:32,786 I go out and I steal Danny Cordray. 545 00:20:32,864 --> 00:20:36,027 The sale that mattered, I made. Boom. 546 00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:37,534 Funny thing about it, we don't even need him. 547 00:20:37,602 --> 00:20:39,797 We already have Packer on the road. 548 00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:40,927 549 00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:43,166 Crap. I forgot about Packer. 550 00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:46,574 551 00:20:47,612 --> 00:20:49,910 Star's in her eyes, tongue full of flies 552 00:20:49,981 --> 00:20:52,814 Would you like to share my pad? 553 00:20:52,884 --> 00:20:56,650 Croak, croak, croak, Bullfrog in love 554 00:20:57,622 --> 00:21:00,216 Croak, croak, croak, Bullfrog in love 555 00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:01,418 And I gave her the croak 556 00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:02,983 That meant I love you 557 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,120 I'll be your croak monsieur 558 00:21:06,197 --> 00:21:08,563 I'll be your croak madame 559 00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:10,794 Your mama might've said That bullfrogs are dogs 560 00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:13,463 But I'm here to Tell you that I'm a frog 561 00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:16,564 Come and sit on my log, You little pollywog 562 00:21:16,641 --> 00:21:18,939 I find you absolutely ribbitting! 563 00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:21,638 Croak, croak, croak, Bullfrog in love 564 00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:24,307 Croak, croak, croak, Bullfrog in love 565 00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:25,610 Croak Ribbit 566 00:21:25,684 --> 00:21:27,914 Scoopty splash 567 00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:29,248 Nice. 42036

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