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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:05,971 David. 2 00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,940 Oh, Michael. 3 00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:09,441 Are we all set? 4 00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,811 Isn't... our interview tomorrow? 5 00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:16,048 Yes. 6 00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:18,150 I just happened to be in the neighborhood, 7 00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:20,052 thought I'd drop in, say hello. 8 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,553 Just happened to be in Midtown Manhattan? 9 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,390 Thought I'd catch a show. 10 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,991 Middle of a work day? 11 00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,760 No. 12 00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:29,828 You know what? 13 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,231 Since I'm here, let me ask you a few questions 14 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,266 about the job. 15 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,567 Okay. 16 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,269 Um, how many people are you interviewing? 17 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:39,171 We're only interviewing branch managers 18 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,939 and some lower level company people. 19 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:43,075 Ah, well. Good. 20 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,843 Out of curiosity, are you interviewing anyone 21 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,678 who's been here longer than I have, 22 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,514 or manages more people? 23 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,449 - I don't think so. - Great. 24 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,217 One more question. 25 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:55,254 When you merged those branches, who did you put in charge? 26 00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:58,023 I believe we put you in charge. 27 00:00:58,025 --> 00:00:59,925 Ah, great. No further questions. 28 00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,427 - Okay, Michael. - Okay. 29 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,195 I'm really looking forward to our interview. 30 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,564 And I'm really looking forward to working with you. 31 00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:13,038 I have got it made in the shade. 32 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,239 I know this company. 33 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,775 The other branch managers are total morons. 34 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:17,943 Hey, Pam, yeah. 35 00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,044 I forgot what day the interview was, 36 00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:20,312 and I drove to New York accidentally. 37 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:22,247 Be, like, three hours late. 38 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:46,138 See, I have 600. 39 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,806 Yeah, I don't have-- 40 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,408 Hey. 41 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:50,542 Hey, Kev. 42 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:53,212 What's different about you? 43 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,446 You look worse. 44 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,447 Thank you. 45 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,448 He got a haircut. 46 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,950 That's sexy. Hot. 47 00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:58,984 Oh. 48 00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,119 Turn around. 49 00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,120 - No. - C'mon. 50 00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:01,854 No, thanks. 51 00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,522 Do it! 52 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:04,890 Lull-up do! 53 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,292 What's up, Big Haircut? 54 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,027 You are no longer Big Tuna. 55 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,497 From henceforth, you shall be known as Big Haircut. 56 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:12,498 Andy, just-- 57 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,133 - Big Haircut? - Nothing. 58 00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,334 Sorry, can't hear you, Big Haircut. 59 00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,368 - Yup. - What. 60 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,171 Karen suggested that I get a haircut 61 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:21,473 for the interview tomorrow. 62 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,475 So that I could look presentable. 63 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,645 And not, as she so lovingly puts it, 64 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,447 homeless. 65 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,781 Hey. 66 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,116 I think it looks great. 67 00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:33,218 Thanks, Pam. 68 00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:39,091 After I had my little outburst at the beach, 69 00:02:39,093 --> 00:02:41,093 Jim was really nice about it. 70 00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:42,127 He just basically said 71 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,763 that he missed my friendship too, 72 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,398 and I would always mean a lot to him. 73 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,433 And I understand where he's coming from. 74 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,703 For the record, I am not embarrassed at all. 75 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,006 It needed to be said, and I said it. 76 00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:56,441 And it only took me three years 77 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,610 to summon the courage, so... 78 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,746 Thank you. 79 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,481 Yeah? 80 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,682 You wanted to see me? 81 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,250 Yes. 82 00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,452 The time has come to name my own replacement. 83 00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:10,923 So please hand this letter of congratulations 84 00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:13,825 to Dwight K. Schrute. 85 00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:18,297 But that's my name. 86 00:03:23,102 --> 00:03:26,271 "Dwight, congratulations, a-wipe. 87 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:29,041 Don't screw the pooch." 88 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,347 Oh. 89 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,515 Thank you. 90 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,650 Okay. 91 00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:42,287 All right. 92 00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:43,288 Thank you, Michael. 93 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,357 Okay. 94 00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:50,529 - Thank you so much. - Please. 95 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,531 Stop crying. 96 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:53,865 Thank you. 97 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:03,375 Hey. 98 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,110 Hey. 99 00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:08,447 Um, about the beach. 100 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,949 It's okay, we all say things without thinking. 101 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,551 Oh, no, it's not that. 102 00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,820 I've actually been thinking that for a long time. 103 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,421 And I'm glad I said it. 104 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,191 I just, I'm sorry if it made you feel weird. 105 00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:22,394 Oh. 106 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,929 Okay. 107 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:28,200 Pam is kind of a bitch. 108 00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:29,635 Hey. 109 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,336 What if we leave tonight? 110 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:33,639 Grab a bite, get a hotel room. 111 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,474 Enjoy the city a little bit. 112 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:38,010 Uh... 113 00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:40,712 I just have so much paperwork to do. 114 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,417 Wow, done. 115 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:48,053 Okay, let's do it. 116 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,755 So I was wondering if Karen and I could get off 117 00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,123 a few hours early, 'cause we wanted 118 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,124 to spend the night in the city. 119 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,259 Why, so you can do it? 120 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:55,294 Whoops. 121 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,395 No, um... 122 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,729 Well, I was thinking that, uh, 123 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,665 actually, we could all leave tomorrow. 124 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,333 And do a convoy. 125 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,668 - You know? - Oh. 126 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,803 Convoys are really fun. 127 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,305 Pull up next to each other. 128 00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,906 Give each other the finger. 129 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,007 Mm. 130 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,609 Moon each other. 131 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:11,977 Uh, we're gonna go tonight. 132 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,345 But we're gonna see you there tomorrow morning, right? 133 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,413 All right. All right. 134 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,814 Your loss. Wait. 135 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,749 Um, how would you moon us if you were driving? 136 00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:18,884 Cruise control. 137 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,285 Oh. 138 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,255 So Jim, who do you think is hotter, 139 00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,057 Pam or Karen? 140 00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,958 Yeah, I'm not gonna talk about this now. 141 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,060 Pam is taller. 142 00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,094 You sure? 143 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,630 Yes. 144 00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,765 She has bigger breasts too. 145 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:34,900 Wow. 146 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:36,535 But I think Karen has a prettier face. 147 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,203 Mm-hmm. 148 00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:40,038 Mm-hmm. 149 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,973 What else? 150 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:45,711 Well, I mean, Pam's face is really pretty too. 151 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,145 It's a very tough call. 152 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,580 Mm. 153 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:49,648 Really tough call. 154 00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:50,816 Yeah. 155 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,584 You know what, why don't you take 156 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,319 the rest of the day, figure it out, 157 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,888 and then come back and tell me what you got? 158 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,358 Will do. 159 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,126 All right. 160 00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,829 Yes. 161 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,964 Hey, Pam. 162 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,899 I've been meaning to say something to you. 163 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,801 I really miss our friendship. 164 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,871 Ha ha, that's very funny. 165 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,906 I've never heard you talk that much. 166 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,375 I thought it was Kelly. 167 00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:18,276 Are you kidding? I would never have done that. 168 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,311 It was patheticville. 169 00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,312 No offense, Pam. 170 00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:21,313 You know what? 171 00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:22,748 Don't even worry about it. 172 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:23,782 Everyone was so drunk, 173 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,584 I bet no one even remembers what you said. 174 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,585 I remember. 175 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,120 I blogged the whole thing. 176 00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:34,559 www.creedthoughts.gov. wwwcreedthoughts. 177 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:35,927 Check it out. 178 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,964 Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. 179 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:43,402 Wanting to protect the world from being exposed 180 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:46,705 to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document 181 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,775 on his computer, and put an address at the top. 182 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:52,077 I've read some of it. 183 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,478 Even for the internet, 184 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,115 it's... pretty shocking. 185 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,150 There they are. 186 00:06:58,152 --> 00:06:59,317 The accounting department. 187 00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,319 I shall miss your humility 188 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,288 and your promptly-printed checks. 189 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,623 Do you think it's gonna be weird? 190 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,858 Working with Jan in New York? 191 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:07,959 No, not at all. 192 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,828 I haven't talked to Jan since we broke up. 193 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:12,531 And I think if she had something to say, 194 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,698 she would've called me. 195 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,100 Maybe you should talk to her-- 196 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,101 No, no, no, no. 197 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,102 You know what? 198 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,370 It's a done deal. 199 00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:20,172 I basically have the job already. 200 00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:22,274 There's nothing she can do to stop it now. 201 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,508 I already sold my condo. 202 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,609 Michael. 203 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,877 What? Why? 204 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,546 I'm sorry, that just doesn't make sense. 205 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,547 Yes. W-why? 206 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:29,848 Who gave you that advice? 207 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,983 Yeah, Michael, you should never sell your condo-- 208 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,251 I have to buy another place. 209 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,453 But you said you were in debt. 210 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:35,987 You're not sure that you have the job. 211 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,056 I sold it on eBay. 212 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,826 The buyer was very motivated, as was I. 213 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,528 It went for 80% of what I paid. 214 00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,831 Sold in record time. 215 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,265 How would you like to spend the night 216 00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:50,669 with the regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton? 217 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,138 No, Dwight, I don't care if that's how 218 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,240 they consolidated power in ancient Rome. 219 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,108 No, no. Not--not Michael. 220 00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,910 Me. 221 00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,847 I'm taking his job. 222 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,049 Not now. 223 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,058 Good-bye, Kelly Kapur. 224 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,528 Jim, Jim, Jim. 225 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:22,667 Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. 226 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,103 Oh. Hey, Dwight. 227 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,972 I'm going to be your new boss. 228 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,642 It's my greatest dream come true. 229 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,377 Welcome to the Hotel Hell. 230 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:35,780 Check-in time is now, check-out time is never. 231 00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:37,048 Does my room have cable? 232 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,049 No. 233 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,318 And the sheets are made of fire. 234 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,786 Can I change rooms? 235 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,388 Sorry, we're all booked up. 236 00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,557 Hell convention in town. 237 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,092 Can I have a late checkout? 238 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,793 We'll have to talk to the manager. 239 00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:50,362 You're not the manager? 240 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:51,963 Even in your own fantasy? 241 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,733 I'm the owner. 242 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,268 The co-owner. 243 00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:57,836 With Satan. 244 00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,605 Okay, just so I understand it. 245 00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:04,309 In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. 246 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:07,612 And you are co-running a bed and breakfast 247 00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:08,847 with the devil. 248 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,383 Yeah, but I haven't told you my salary yet. 249 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,384 Go. 250 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:16,021 $80,000 a year. 251 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,589 Once I am officially regional manager, 252 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:20,926 my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. 253 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,528 So I will need a new number two. 254 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,164 My ideal choice? 255 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,066 Jack Bauer. 256 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,201 But he is unavailable. 257 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,903 Fictional. 258 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,805 And overqualified. 259 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:37,475 I will see you... 260 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:40,445 at the interview. 261 00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:43,748 Yes, you will. 262 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,584 Who is D. Abramson? 263 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,118 Um, he's from that company in Pittsburgh. 264 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,119 Michael. 265 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,488 Why? 266 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:52,490 Are you here? 267 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:56,595 Uh, how are you? 268 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:57,596 I'm good. 269 00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:58,730 How are you, Janet? 270 00:09:58,732 --> 00:09:59,731 It's good to see you. 271 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,299 I'm great. 272 00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:08,840 Uh, can we... can we talk privately 273 00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,241 for a minute? 274 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,143 Why privately? 275 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:16,581 Uh, I just... I, uh, I don't, uh. 276 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,850 I-I don't like the way that we left things. 277 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,986 Okay, sure. Fine. 278 00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,420 Um, why don't you wait in my office? 279 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,255 I have some important business matters 280 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,958 to take care of. 281 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,226 Okay. 282 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,195 Okay. 283 00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:36,668 Pam, DEFCON 10, Houston, we have a problem. 284 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,703 What do you want me to do? 285 00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:41,373 Uh, I may need some immediate assistance. 286 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:44,609 If you would slowly and quietly gather the ladies 287 00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:45,710 in the conference room. 288 00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:46,945 Phyllis, Angela, Karen. 289 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,279 What about Meredith? 290 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,748 No. 291 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,783 She's an alternate. 292 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,385 So how you been? 293 00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:54,619 - I've been good. - Good. 294 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,321 Good. Yeah. 295 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,389 Oh. 296 00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:58,723 Sorry to drop by unexpectedly. 297 00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:02,093 I, uh, tried calling, but I kept getting voicemail. 298 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,628 Weird, yeah. 299 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,530 I didn't get both of your messages. 300 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,532 Ah. 301 00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:12,370 So, uh, Michael needs us in the conference room. 302 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,371 Oh, is it Jan again? 303 00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:16,074 Hey, uh, before I leave tonight, 304 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,343 would you mind making a half a dozen copies 305 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,511 of Jim's and my sales reports 306 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:20,512 for our interviews tomorrow? 307 00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:21,513 Uh, sure. 308 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,881 Thanks. 309 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,083 I really hope you get the job. 310 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:29,521 Thanks. 311 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,257 After you ended everything with us, 312 00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:33,758 I went on a vacation. 313 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,393 Mm. 314 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,594 To kind of clear my mind. 315 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,063 Sounds good, sounds fun. 316 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,799 It was, yeah, it was good. 317 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,867 I think I should just... 318 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,602 get right to the point, you know? 319 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:48,740 Um, I-I feel good about myself 320 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:52,310 for the first time in a really long time. 321 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,579 And I've made some big changes 322 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:57,382 in my life, and... 323 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,818 I miss you. 324 00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,922 I want us to get back together. 325 00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:10,028 Would you excuse me for a second? 326 00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,597 Oh, okay. 327 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:16,534 DEFCON 20. 328 00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:17,669 She wants to get back together. 329 00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:18,837 What are you gonna do? 330 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,538 I don't know. That's why you're here. 331 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,740 Help me, please. 332 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:22,774 Would you wanna get back together with her? 333 00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,375 No! No. 334 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:25,610 What do I do? 335 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,512 Just don't get back together with her. 336 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,646 What if she makes me? 337 00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,415 How can she make you get back together with her? 338 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,084 She made me do a lot of things I didn't wanna do. 339 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,386 This was a terrible relationship. 340 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,088 You were not happy when you were with her. 341 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,089 I wasn't. 342 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,791 You're so much happier now. 343 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,060 Just go in there and be strong. 344 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,595 You're right. 345 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,230 You are absolutely right, I need to go in there 346 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,232 and tell her that we can't be together. 347 00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:48,767 Right. 348 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,401 - Wow. - You can do it. 349 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,737 I'm in a very good place right now. 350 00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:53,738 Thank you. 351 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,440 Go. Go, go. 352 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,376 Okay. 353 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,247 Jan... 354 00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:04,616 We need to talk. 355 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,123 Jan is in a different place right now. 356 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,225 And it is a sign of maturity 357 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:17,028 to give people second chances. 358 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,930 So I'm going to hear her out. 359 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:27,105 Oh, my God. 360 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,709 Yeah, bigger actually. 361 00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:32,710 That's crazy. 362 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:33,845 Mm-hmm. 363 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:40,151 Oh, my God, can you believe that? 364 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,352 Unbelievable. 365 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,687 Wow. 366 00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:43,922 She could put the cup right there. 367 00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:44,923 I know. 368 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,424 No, it's fine. 369 00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,459 I'm sure it must've been weird for Jim 370 00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,262 when Roy and I were joking around. 371 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,131 That one time. 372 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,467 I would never do that. 373 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,603 Waste of money. 374 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,472 In my experience, guys are way more attracted 375 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,975 to the back of you than to the front. 376 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:05,710 I love fake boobs. 377 00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:08,780 Oftentimes you find them on strippers. 378 00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:09,781 I find it offensive. 379 00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:11,482 Au naturel, baby. 380 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,784 That's how I like 'em. 381 00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:15,820 Swing low, sweet chariots. 382 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,388 So... 383 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,190 There are a lot of things I would like to do differently. 384 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,191 Yeah. 385 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,193 I feel like when we first got together, 386 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,162 that I had a problem with my priorities. 387 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,663 First got priorities. 388 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,399 And if we could talk about a way to approach 389 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,801 a possible reconciliation. 390 00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,302 Let's get back together. 391 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,039 No. No, no, no. 392 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,107 I'll tell you this, 393 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,042 it is not because of the boob job. 394 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,178 Excuse me, boob enhancement. 395 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,379 That would be shallow. 396 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,414 And this is the opposite of shallow. 397 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,951 This is emotionally magnificent. 398 00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:48,386 Okay, everyone, listen up! 399 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,522 Time to begin the interview process! 400 00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:55,260 Andrew Bernard. 401 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,161 Saving the best for first. 402 00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:58,930 All right, you guys, see you later. 403 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,131 Wish us luck. 404 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,566 No! Hey, hey, hey, do not wish them luck. 405 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,734 Do not wish them luck. 406 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,535 All luck must be wished unto Michael. 407 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,371 Good luck, you guys. 408 00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,839 What did I say? 409 00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:08,840 Good luck. 410 00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:10,575 Thanks. 411 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,380 I'm happy for him. 412 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:17,048 I hope he gets the job. 413 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,183 I really just want him to be happy. 414 00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:20,852 And I know that sounds cliché. 415 00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:25,690 And I know saying it sounds cliché sounds cliché. 416 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,159 Maybe I'm being cliché, I don't care. 417 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:31,930 'Cause I am what I am. 418 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,265 That's Popeye. 419 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,034 I am going to begin this process 420 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,869 with a simple test of intelligence 421 00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:40,672 and mental dexterity. 422 00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:41,973 What is the best color? 423 00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:45,777 White, because it contains all other colors. 424 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,879 Wrong, black. It is the most dominant. 425 00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:49,180 How do you make a table? 426 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:52,550 You make a chair, but you don't sit on it. 427 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,851 What is the capital of Maine? 428 00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,554 The capital of Maine is Montpelier, Vermont. 429 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,690 Which is near Ithaca, New York, 430 00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:00,091 where I went to Cornell. 431 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:03,061 Okay, also, moratorium on Cornell talk. 432 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,195 Don't wanna hear about it. 433 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,496 Forget your personal history, 434 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,098 and learn the history of this company. 435 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,099 Should not be a problem. 436 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,233 I minored in history 437 00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:11,169 in the ivy league school which I attended. 438 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:13,438 You're not off to a very good start, Bernard. 439 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,340 I agree. 440 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,709 But in another way, 441 00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:21,245 I am off to a very good start, wouldn't you say? 442 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,781 I am a great interviewee. 443 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:26,784 Why? Because I have something no one else has. 444 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,953 My brain. 445 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:33,558 Which I use to my advantage, when advantageous. 446 00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:38,796 Time! Nope, you failed. 447 00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,098 Damn it! 448 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:44,202 This interview is over, I'll let you know. 449 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,771 Hey, thank you so much for driving me down 450 00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:47,772 for my interview. 451 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,040 Totally. No problem. 452 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,142 What are you interviewing for, by the way? 453 00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:52,610 My assistant, or... 454 00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:53,978 Oh, you know, I'm gonna have 455 00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:56,614 a "Congratulations, Karen" party, um, 456 00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,049 tomorrow night at my friend's house. 457 00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,118 - Oh, wow, that sounds fun. - Yeah. 458 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,153 Is your friend named Karen too? 459 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,554 What did she accomplish? 460 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,757 No, I'm sorry. I should've been clearer. 461 00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:06,991 Uh-huh. It's for me. 462 00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:10,828 - Oh. - 'Cause I'm gonna get the job. 463 00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,597 How remarkable. 464 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,399 Thanks. 465 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,903 Wait, let me just check one more thing. 466 00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:22,140 Okay. 467 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,008 Very good. 468 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,783 All right, well, I have to get back. 469 00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:33,851 But I will see you in New York tomorrow, right? 470 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:34,852 Yes, indeed. 471 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,020 Good luck with your interview. 472 00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,523 Thank you. 473 00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:39,991 Bye. 474 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,598 So I... 475 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,233 guess we're getting back together. 476 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,468 What happened? 477 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,203 Your advice was good, 478 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,605 but Jan's was bigger. 479 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,274 Here's the sitch. 480 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,710 Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship 481 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:00,711 of my life. 482 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,447 She treated me poorly. 483 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,781 We didn't connect. 484 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,283 I was miserable. 485 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:09,654 Now I'm in the best relationship of my life 486 00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:12,590 with the same woman. 487 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,693 Love is a mystery. 488 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,563 So we have all night, where do you wanna go first? 489 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,831 I don't know. 490 00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:20,932 How 'bout the U.N.? 491 00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,134 How often do you come here? 492 00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:25,036 Mm, every time my sixth grade class 493 00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:26,037 goes on a field trip. 494 00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:27,038 Well, I think you're 495 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,707 really going to enjoy this, Adult Jim. 496 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,349 Hey, everybody. 497 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,084 The next time you see me, I will be working 498 00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,953 for corporate. 499 00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,754 Starting tomorrow, Dwight Schrute 500 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:47,258 will be running the branch. 501 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,961 So without further ado... 502 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,132 I would like to start saying my good-byes. 503 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:58,903 ♪ For everything you've done 504 00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:01,639 ♪ You know I'm bound 505 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,141 Okay. 506 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,610 ♪ I'm bound to thank you for it ♪ 507 00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,912 ♪ Na na na na na na na 508 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,281 Good night. 509 00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,883 And good luck. 510 00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:13,851 ♪ Na na na 511 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,487 ♪ Na na na na na na 512 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,656 ♪ Na na na na na na na 513 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,297 Who's ready to work? 514 00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:31,202 Yeah, we went to The Spotted Pig 515 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,670 for dinner, it's in the Village. 516 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,105 Uh, Karen knew it. 517 00:19:34,107 --> 00:19:36,741 And then we second-acted Spamalot. 518 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,476 That's when you sneak in at intermission 519 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:39,977 with all the smokers. 520 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,114 And then we went to a bar that used to be a church. 521 00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:46,184 Oh, and at this one bar, I swear I saw Lorne Michaels. 522 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,519 That wasn't him. 523 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,022 So what's gonna happen with us 524 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,590 when I get this job? 525 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,258 Oh, do you mean when I get the job? 526 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:57,695 Well, if you get the job... 527 00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,398 then I'd move here with you. 528 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,967 Would you move with me? 529 00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,569 I'm not stupid, okay? 530 00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:06,604 I was at the beach. 531 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,940 We don't have a future in Scranton. 532 00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:12,076 There's one too many people there. 533 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,378 You mean Kevin? 534 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,613 Exactly. 535 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,518 No, but you get it, right? 536 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,486 We can't stay there. 537 00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,622 Yeah. 538 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,924 I do. 539 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,593 Come on. 540 00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,474 How are you guys doing? Need anything? 541 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,443 Uh, no, we're good. Thanks. 542 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,044 I have been here a bunch of times, 543 00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,546 so I know where everything is. 544 00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,914 Know everybody's names. 545 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,582 If you need to know somebody's name, just ask me. 546 00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,520 Who's that? 547 00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:58,356 That is Beardy. 548 00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,390 Beardy? 549 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,424 Mm-hmm. 550 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,692 Why don't I introduce myself. 551 00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:02,893 No, no, no--just-- that's not his real name. 552 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:05,563 That's just what I call him, so. 553 00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,331 I am by far the most qualified person 554 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,566 they're interviewing. 555 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,167 Jim and Karen are here. 556 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,535 Which is cute. 557 00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:14,839 They're like kid actors tagging along with Daddy 558 00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:16,340 on the big audition. 559 00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:18,075 Hoping to be discovered. 560 00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:21,779 Except Daddy is the best actor around. 561 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:25,349 Daddy is Meryl Streep. 562 00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:27,485 Michael is gone. 563 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:32,223 Hail to the Chief! 564 00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:33,491 My first order of business, 565 00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:36,661 make Andrew Bernard my number two. 566 00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:39,463 My first order of business, accept. 567 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,232 As if you had a choice. 568 00:21:41,234 --> 00:21:42,867 Duh. 569 00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:45,002 Opportunity of a lifetime. 570 00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:49,607 Three months ago, I was nowhere. 571 00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:53,110 I was just a Cornell grad in anger management. 572 00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:54,679 Look where I am now. 573 00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:57,581 Not bad. 574 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:02,920 Hey, Hunter! 575 00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:04,522 What's up, my brother? 576 00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:07,391 This is Hunter, secretary extraordinaire. 577 00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:09,427 Uh, administrative assistant. 578 00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:10,795 Is Jan in yet? 579 00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:11,962 I think she's coming in later. 580 00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:12,963 Could you give her a message for me 581 00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:13,964 when she gets in? 582 00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:15,800 Sure. 583 00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:20,004 Just say "I want to squeeze them." 584 00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:22,239 It's code, she'll know what it means. 585 00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:24,342 Okay. 586 00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:25,343 Oh, and Hunter? 587 00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,511 Could you tell her "Brr," also? 588 00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:32,950 You showed great leadership potential 589 00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:33,984 at the coal walk. 590 00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:35,419 Even if you did follow it 591 00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:37,588 with that embarrassing personal confession. 592 00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:39,457 Thank you. 593 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:41,392 I had to make Andy my number two. 594 00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:43,060 It's political, complicated. 595 00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:44,195 You wouldn't understand. 596 00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:48,265 I want you to be assistant regional manager. 597 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:50,468 Really? 598 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,269 Well, in a sense. 599 00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:54,038 Although publicly, I am going to retain 600 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,974 the assistant regional manager position. 601 00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:58,342 You will be your own assistant. 602 00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:00,378 Correct, I need someone I can trust. 603 00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:02,480 But I would also like the title 604 00:23:02,482 --> 00:23:04,882 to be secretly applied to you. 605 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:09,019 Just stripped of its pomp and frills. 606 00:23:09,021 --> 00:23:11,288 Okay. 607 00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:15,459 So you would be the regional manager 608 00:23:15,461 --> 00:23:18,396 and the assistant regional manager. 609 00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:20,464 Andy is your number two. 610 00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:24,168 I would be the secret assistant regional manager. 611 00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:25,336 Mm, let's call it secret assistant 612 00:23:25,338 --> 00:23:26,971 to the regional manager. 613 00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:28,205 Mm-hmm. 614 00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,673 Do you accept? 615 00:23:29,675 --> 00:23:32,443 Absolutely, I do. 616 00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:33,811 I learned from Jim, 617 00:23:33,813 --> 00:23:36,313 if Dwight ever asks you if you accept something secret, 618 00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:40,384 you reply, "Absolutely, I do." 619 00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:45,956 Hello, hello! 620 00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:47,792 Michael, good to see you. 621 00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:49,160 - Good to see you. - Have a seat. 622 00:23:49,162 --> 00:23:50,928 Here are the post-merger performance stats 623 00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,530 - that you asked for. - Great. 624 00:23:52,532 --> 00:23:54,198 I've been meaning to thank you, by the way. 625 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,500 You didn't lose a single customer in the merger, 626 00:23:56,502 --> 00:23:58,068 and you still managed to trim the budget. 627 00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,971 That is nice work. 628 00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:04,408 So let me ask you a question right off the bat. 629 00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:05,876 What do you think are your greatest strengths 630 00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:07,211 as a manager? 631 00:24:07,213 --> 00:24:10,014 Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? 632 00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:11,916 I work too hard. 633 00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:13,350 I care too much. 634 00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:17,721 And sometimes I can be too invested in my job. 635 00:24:17,723 --> 00:24:19,857 Okay. 636 00:24:19,859 --> 00:24:21,592 And your strengths? 637 00:24:21,594 --> 00:24:25,029 Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths. 638 00:24:25,031 --> 00:24:28,365 Oh! Yes. Very good. 639 00:24:28,367 --> 00:24:29,366 Thank you. 640 00:24:29,368 --> 00:24:30,367 Very good. 641 00:24:30,369 --> 00:24:31,669 Dwight is our new boss. 642 00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,771 Oh, Michael's not going anywhere. 643 00:24:33,773 --> 00:24:35,506 Then who do you think will get the job? 644 00:24:35,508 --> 00:24:36,941 Karen. 645 00:24:36,943 --> 00:24:39,043 She looks corporate. 646 00:24:39,045 --> 00:24:41,479 Those little pantsuits. 647 00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:42,913 I think it's gonna be Michael. 648 00:24:42,915 --> 00:24:44,782 Do you really think he's qualified for that job? 649 00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:47,518 No, but he wasn't qualified for the job he has now, 650 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,752 and he got that one. 651 00:24:48,754 --> 00:24:49,753 Yeah. 652 00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:50,855 Listen up! 653 00:24:50,857 --> 00:24:53,224 Come to the center of the room, please. 654 00:24:53,226 --> 00:24:56,060 This... 655 00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:58,629 is a Schrute buck. 656 00:24:58,631 --> 00:25:00,130 When you have done something good, 657 00:25:00,132 --> 00:25:03,634 you will receive one Schrute buck. 658 00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:05,436 1,000 Schrute bucks equals 659 00:25:05,438 --> 00:25:07,972 an extra five minutes for lunch. 660 00:25:07,974 --> 00:25:11,108 What is the cash value of a Schrute buck? 661 00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:12,743 Excellent question, Pam. 662 00:25:12,745 --> 00:25:14,578 1/100th of a cent. 663 00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:18,415 So 10,000 of your dollars is worth one real dollar? 664 00:25:18,417 --> 00:25:20,084 Just zip your lid. 665 00:25:20,086 --> 00:25:22,119 Another announcement. 666 00:25:22,121 --> 00:25:24,088 Michael wasted an enormous amount 667 00:25:24,090 --> 00:25:25,389 of the group's time and patience 668 00:25:25,391 --> 00:25:27,858 with non-work-related ethnic celebrations 669 00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:30,828 and parades of soft-minded do-good-edness. 670 00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:32,363 No longer. 671 00:25:32,365 --> 00:25:34,598 No more meetings. 672 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:35,799 Amen. 673 00:25:35,801 --> 00:25:38,736 Instead, today I will begin my first lecture 674 00:25:38,738 --> 00:25:41,105 in a long series of lectures designed to increase 675 00:25:41,107 --> 00:25:42,640 your knowledge on the world of paper. 676 00:25:42,642 --> 00:25:43,641 Do we have to? 677 00:25:43,643 --> 00:25:45,342 Yes. Michael is gone. 678 00:25:45,344 --> 00:25:48,279 There's a new sheriff here in these offices. 679 00:25:48,281 --> 00:25:50,080 And his name is me. 680 00:25:50,082 --> 00:25:52,449 Conference room, ten seconds. 681 00:25:52,451 --> 00:25:53,484 All of you! 682 00:25:53,486 --> 00:25:55,553 I literally cannot wait until I see 683 00:25:55,555 --> 00:25:57,688 what Dwight has planned. 684 00:25:57,690 --> 00:26:00,090 And I wish Jim were here. 685 00:26:00,859 --> 00:26:03,160 What do you think we could be doing better? 686 00:26:03,162 --> 00:26:05,729 I've never been a big fan of the name Dunder-Mifflin. 687 00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:07,164 I was thinking we could name the company 688 00:26:07,166 --> 00:26:10,134 something like Paper Great, 689 00:26:10,136 --> 00:26:12,036 where great paper is our passion. 690 00:26:12,038 --> 00:26:14,605 We're grrreat! 691 00:26:14,607 --> 00:26:17,508 I don't know, could be good. 692 00:26:17,510 --> 00:26:18,976 Or, uh, Super Duper Paper. 693 00:26:18,978 --> 00:26:20,578 It's super duper. 694 00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:22,446 I don't know, something like that. 695 00:26:22,448 --> 00:26:24,248 - Okay. - Okay. 696 00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:25,282 Thanks for coming in, Michael. 697 00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:26,417 Thank you. 698 00:26:26,419 --> 00:26:28,686 It is always a treat when our paths cross. 699 00:26:28,688 --> 00:26:31,422 It is always a treat when our paths cross. 700 00:26:31,424 --> 00:26:33,324 So--oh, before I forget. 701 00:26:33,326 --> 00:26:36,560 I wanted to let you know, if you hadn't already heard, 702 00:26:36,562 --> 00:26:38,762 uh, Jan and I are back together. 703 00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:40,297 So I may need to fill out 704 00:26:40,299 --> 00:26:42,366 one of those love documents again. 705 00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:43,434 You're back together. 706 00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:45,769 Yes, and I am very excited about the prospect 707 00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:46,837 of working under her. 708 00:26:46,839 --> 00:26:48,572 Or on top of her. 709 00:26:48,574 --> 00:26:51,375 Mm, that's not sexual, just we're all professionals. 710 00:26:51,377 --> 00:26:53,077 Okay, well. 711 00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:55,145 Uh, I thought it was clear in the description 712 00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:57,181 of the position. 713 00:26:57,183 --> 00:26:59,984 The job you're applying for is Jan's job. 714 00:26:59,986 --> 00:27:01,285 I don't understand. 715 00:27:01,287 --> 00:27:03,120 So we're gonna tag team it? 716 00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:05,656 No, we're letting Jan go. 717 00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:12,463 Listen up. Let's start from the ground up. 718 00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:14,598 Where does paper come from? 719 00:27:16,001 --> 00:27:17,267 Trees. 720 00:27:17,269 --> 00:27:20,604 And where do trees grow? 721 00:27:20,606 --> 00:27:22,039 - Forest. - Soil. 722 00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,607 Right. 723 00:27:23,609 --> 00:27:26,310 We have in front of you here, 724 00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:30,280 seven different types of Pennsylvania topsoil. 725 00:27:30,282 --> 00:27:35,819 Now, what would you say is the most important element 726 00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:39,289 in the production of aboveground leafy growth? 727 00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:42,793 Probably phosphorus, right? 728 00:27:42,795 --> 00:27:43,794 Wrong. 729 00:27:43,796 --> 00:27:45,062 It's nitrogen. 730 00:27:45,064 --> 00:27:48,265 Absorb this information. 731 00:27:49,534 --> 00:27:50,768 Good. 732 00:27:50,770 --> 00:27:52,836 Now, let us discuss precipitation. 733 00:27:52,838 --> 00:27:53,837 Stanley. 734 00:27:53,839 --> 00:27:55,439 When rainfall occurs, 735 00:27:55,441 --> 00:27:58,676 does it usually fall in a liquid, solid, 736 00:27:58,678 --> 00:28:00,044 or gaseous state? 737 00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:02,079 Liquid. 738 00:28:02,081 --> 00:28:03,380 Very good. 739 00:28:03,382 --> 00:28:06,083 You have earned one Schrute buck. 740 00:28:06,085 --> 00:28:07,951 I don't want it. 741 00:28:07,953 --> 00:28:10,387 Then you have been deducted 50 Schrute bucks. 742 00:28:10,389 --> 00:28:11,388 Make it 100. 743 00:28:11,390 --> 00:28:13,657 Well... 744 00:28:13,659 --> 00:28:15,693 Don't you wanna earn Schrute bucks? 745 00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:18,729 No--In fact, I'll give you a billion 746 00:28:18,731 --> 00:28:21,265 Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again. 747 00:28:21,267 --> 00:28:22,266 What's the ratio of Stanley nickels 748 00:28:22,268 --> 00:28:23,567 to Schrute bucks? 749 00:28:23,569 --> 00:28:26,036 The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns. 750 00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:27,271 - Okay. - That's it! 751 00:28:27,273 --> 00:28:28,672 Class is cancelled, everybody out. 752 00:28:28,674 --> 00:28:29,840 What? No, wait! What are you doing? 753 00:28:29,842 --> 00:28:31,041 - I'm punishing them. - No, no, no! 754 00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:32,076 Class is not cancelled! 755 00:28:33,746 --> 00:28:34,712 Hey! Come on! 756 00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:38,315 Let's listen to Dwight's presentation. 757 00:28:40,018 --> 00:28:41,251 What--what are you winking for? 758 00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:42,286 Zip your lid! 759 00:28:42,288 --> 00:28:45,122 So that's my basic five year plan. 760 00:28:45,124 --> 00:28:47,124 And then after that, who knows? 761 00:28:47,126 --> 00:28:48,692 Okay. 762 00:28:48,694 --> 00:28:51,061 And now, this may seem like an odd question. 763 00:28:51,063 --> 00:28:52,896 Yeah? 764 00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:55,065 What do you think about Michael Scott? 765 00:28:55,067 --> 00:28:56,667 He's a very nice man. 766 00:28:56,669 --> 00:28:57,968 Mm-hmm. 767 00:28:57,970 --> 00:29:00,637 And he's very well-suited for the job he has now. 768 00:29:00,639 --> 00:29:02,072 This is off the record. 769 00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:04,074 He would be a disaster. 770 00:29:09,447 --> 00:29:10,447 Hey, you! 771 00:29:10,449 --> 00:29:12,616 Hey. 772 00:29:12,618 --> 00:29:14,418 How was your interview? 773 00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:15,753 - Pretty good. - Yeah? 774 00:29:15,755 --> 00:29:16,987 Could've gone better, I guess. 775 00:29:16,989 --> 00:29:20,257 Oh, well, I will put in a good word for you. 776 00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:23,193 Cool. Maybe you should do it sooner rather than later. 777 00:29:23,195 --> 00:29:24,495 What? 778 00:29:24,497 --> 00:29:25,529 Uh, let's just run away together. 779 00:29:25,531 --> 00:29:26,697 Let's run away to Jamaica, 780 00:29:26,699 --> 00:29:27,831 live in a bungalow. 781 00:29:27,833 --> 00:29:28,999 You have some savings, right? 782 00:29:29,001 --> 00:29:30,000 You can pay off my debts. 783 00:29:30,002 --> 00:29:31,869 It would be fine. 784 00:29:31,871 --> 00:29:33,003 We'd have fun. 785 00:29:33,005 --> 00:29:35,405 What's-- what's the matter? 786 00:29:35,407 --> 00:29:37,374 W-what happened in there? 787 00:29:37,376 --> 00:29:40,677 I can't tell you. 788 00:29:40,679 --> 00:29:42,246 Tell me what? 789 00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:50,621 You son of a bitch. 790 00:29:50,623 --> 00:29:52,589 Jan, this isn't the time-- 791 00:29:52,591 --> 00:29:53,791 You're firing me? 792 00:29:53,793 --> 00:29:55,592 Where the hell do you get off? 793 00:29:56,962 --> 00:29:58,762 Frankly, it's overdue. 794 00:29:58,764 --> 00:30:01,031 Your behavior in the last two years 795 00:30:01,033 --> 00:30:02,332 has been completely erratic. 796 00:30:02,334 --> 00:30:04,001 Erratic? 797 00:30:04,003 --> 00:30:05,702 Recently, you don't even show an interest in your work! 798 00:30:05,704 --> 00:30:07,671 You smoke constantly in your office. 799 00:30:07,673 --> 00:30:09,807 You spend most of the day online shopping. 800 00:30:09,809 --> 00:30:12,309 You disappear for hours at a time, sometimes days, 801 00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:14,845 always saying you're visiting your sister in Scottsdale. 802 00:30:14,847 --> 00:30:16,814 You go to Scranton far more often than you need to. 803 00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:17,948 Is it because of these? 804 00:30:17,950 --> 00:30:19,650 Whoa, hey, whoa, Jan-- 805 00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:20,951 I wanna know-- I wanna know! 806 00:30:20,953 --> 00:30:23,987 Because if it is, then-- then I will see you in court. 807 00:30:23,989 --> 00:30:25,823 - It's not. It's not. - No. 808 00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:27,391 'Cause he likes them. Okay? 809 00:30:27,393 --> 00:30:30,227 He likes them, and that is-- that is all I care about. 810 00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:31,662 The time has come for you to end 811 00:30:31,664 --> 00:30:34,097 your professional relationship with this company. 812 00:30:34,099 --> 00:30:35,966 You are clearly unstable. 813 00:30:35,968 --> 00:30:37,067 Hey, you're unstable! 814 00:30:37,069 --> 00:30:38,068 Yeah. 815 00:30:38,070 --> 00:30:41,238 No. We're all unstable. 816 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,840 Okay, you know what, I'm just not leaving! 817 00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:44,741 I'm not leaving. 818 00:30:44,743 --> 00:30:46,543 Not leaving. 819 00:30:46,545 --> 00:30:48,612 David, I did not tell her. 820 00:30:51,282 --> 00:30:53,116 It's like I'm staring into my soul 821 00:30:53,118 --> 00:30:54,318 when I look at this wall. 822 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,654 It's like outer space without the stars. 823 00:30:57,656 --> 00:30:58,989 It's so black. 824 00:30:58,991 --> 00:31:01,525 This is gonna look so awesome! 825 00:31:01,527 --> 00:31:02,659 It's so intimidating. 826 00:31:02,661 --> 00:31:03,927 Anyone who comes in here 827 00:31:03,929 --> 00:31:05,696 is gonna have to take me seriously. 828 00:31:05,698 --> 00:31:08,565 Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. 829 00:31:09,235 --> 00:31:10,367 Totally. 830 00:31:21,079 --> 00:31:22,079 Bye, Hunter. 831 00:31:22,081 --> 00:31:23,080 Bye. 832 00:31:24,516 --> 00:31:26,516 Good luck with your band. 833 00:31:26,518 --> 00:31:27,517 Oh, thank-- 834 00:31:27,519 --> 00:31:28,852 Don't let them change you. 835 00:31:28,854 --> 00:31:30,454 Okay? 836 00:31:50,808 --> 00:31:53,043 So long,. 837 00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:58,682 So I am gonna give her a ride home. 838 00:31:58,684 --> 00:32:00,450 Let me know about the job. 839 00:32:00,452 --> 00:32:02,219 Actually, Michael, I think we're gonna take it 840 00:32:02,221 --> 00:32:03,353 in another direction. 841 00:32:03,355 --> 00:32:05,022 Good, I'm glad we're on the same page. 842 00:32:05,024 --> 00:32:06,657 I have a lot of ideas for new directions. 843 00:32:06,659 --> 00:32:09,526 No, we're not giving you the job. 844 00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:15,699 You know what? 845 00:32:15,701 --> 00:32:18,068 That is actually good 846 00:32:18,070 --> 00:32:20,771 because, um... 847 00:32:20,773 --> 00:32:23,840 I don't think I could take my girlfriend's job. 848 00:32:23,842 --> 00:32:26,043 That's not being a good boyfriend. 849 00:32:26,045 --> 00:32:30,714 So I respectfully withdraw my name from consideration. 850 00:32:33,151 --> 00:32:34,851 Do you accept my withdrawal? 851 00:32:34,853 --> 00:32:36,653 - I do. - Good, very good. 852 00:32:36,655 --> 00:32:39,089 I am glad we are finally on the same page. 853 00:32:39,091 --> 00:32:40,991 Still have my job in Scranton though? 854 00:32:40,993 --> 00:32:42,359 Yes. Good. 855 00:32:42,361 --> 00:32:43,860 It's all I ever wanted. 856 00:32:43,862 --> 00:32:46,029 These two... 857 00:32:46,031 --> 00:32:48,098 either one of them... 858 00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:50,500 excellent candidates. 859 00:32:53,538 --> 00:32:54,938 Wow. 860 00:32:56,075 --> 00:33:00,377 That was some serious, hardcore self-destruction. 861 00:33:00,379 --> 00:33:01,645 Yeah. 862 00:33:01,647 --> 00:33:03,246 Kinda feel bad for her though. 863 00:33:03,248 --> 00:33:05,449 Don't. She's nuts. 864 00:33:07,286 --> 00:33:09,152 Oh, man. 865 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,389 You know what? This might take a while. 866 00:33:12,391 --> 00:33:14,391 You really don't have to stay, if you don't want. 867 00:33:14,393 --> 00:33:16,893 Okay, good, because a bunch of my friends 868 00:33:16,895 --> 00:33:18,528 are meeting downtown for lunch, 869 00:33:18,530 --> 00:33:19,997 and I was gonna meet them. 870 00:33:19,999 --> 00:33:21,231 Okay. So... 871 00:33:21,233 --> 00:33:22,265 Just call me when you're done. 872 00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:23,900 Sure. 873 00:33:23,902 --> 00:33:31,141 - Good luck, Halpert. - Thank you. 874 00:33:31,143 --> 00:33:33,577 Dunder-Mifflin, this is Grace. 875 00:33:33,579 --> 00:33:35,779 Sure. 876 00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:39,750 Oh, God! 877 00:33:39,752 --> 00:33:41,318 I mean, I just don't understand. 878 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,320 It's just so rude, you know? 879 00:33:43,322 --> 00:33:44,888 I mean, the absolute nerve of that guy! 880 00:33:44,890 --> 00:33:46,123 I am sorry about that. 881 00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,324 - Oh, just... - That was terrible. 882 00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:48,959 No, actually, I think it's good. 883 00:33:48,961 --> 00:33:50,327 You know, it's fine actually. 884 00:33:50,329 --> 00:33:51,495 I-I do. 885 00:33:51,497 --> 00:33:53,363 I really think it's great that it happened, 886 00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:55,132 because, you know, my work has always been 887 00:33:55,134 --> 00:33:56,133 the thing that's gotten in the way 888 00:33:56,135 --> 00:33:57,134 of my happiness, so... 889 00:33:57,136 --> 00:33:58,135 Mm-hmm, yeah. 890 00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:01,405 Well, it's... 891 00:34:07,346 --> 00:34:09,379 No, don't cry. 892 00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:10,380 It's gonna be okay. 893 00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,682 Oh, I know, I know. 894 00:34:12,684 --> 00:34:14,284 It's just... I'm sorry. 895 00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:16,353 It's just these painkillers that I started taking 896 00:34:16,355 --> 00:34:18,188 since the surgery. 897 00:34:18,190 --> 00:34:22,292 Oh, they make my moods totally unpredictable. 898 00:34:22,294 --> 00:34:23,693 Wow. 899 00:34:23,695 --> 00:34:26,229 What am I gonna do? 900 00:34:29,033 --> 00:34:33,804 Well, I guess you could come and stay at my condo. 901 00:34:33,806 --> 00:34:35,972 I think I could back out of the sale. 902 00:34:35,974 --> 00:34:37,974 Probably get some negative feedback 903 00:34:37,976 --> 00:34:39,276 on my eBay profile. 904 00:34:39,278 --> 00:34:40,277 Live together... 905 00:34:40,279 --> 00:34:41,278 Actually, wait a minute. 906 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:42,279 This could be great. 907 00:34:42,281 --> 00:34:43,613 This could be perfect. 908 00:34:43,615 --> 00:34:45,749 You know, my full-time job could be our relationship. 909 00:34:45,751 --> 00:34:46,983 I could wear stretch pants and wait for you 910 00:34:46,985 --> 00:34:48,285 to come home at 5:15. 911 00:34:48,287 --> 00:34:49,419 It could work, this could work! 912 00:34:49,421 --> 00:34:51,254 Really. 913 00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:02,933 I'll be back. 914 00:35:02,935 --> 00:35:06,470 And I am back. 915 00:35:06,472 --> 00:35:07,671 How'd it go? 916 00:35:07,673 --> 00:35:09,439 No. No, Pam. 917 00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:11,908 I'm back. 918 00:35:11,910 --> 00:35:14,478 For good. 919 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:15,912 Kevin Nealon. 920 00:35:15,914 --> 00:35:18,381 Everybody, may I have your attention please? 921 00:35:18,383 --> 00:35:22,352 It is with great honor and privilege 922 00:35:22,354 --> 00:35:25,155 that I announce to you, I have officially withdrawn 923 00:35:25,157 --> 00:35:28,024 my name for consideration from the corporate job. 924 00:35:28,026 --> 00:35:30,727 I know, I know, I know. 925 00:35:30,729 --> 00:35:32,229 "Michael, what are you thinking? 926 00:35:32,231 --> 00:35:33,230 You were a shoo-in." 927 00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:35,232 Well, got down there. 928 00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:37,033 I nailed the interview. 929 00:35:37,035 --> 00:35:39,736 And the strangest thing happened. 930 00:35:39,738 --> 00:35:42,539 Why is my office black? 931 00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,875 To intimidate my subordinates. 932 00:35:44,877 --> 00:35:46,543 That's stupid. 933 00:35:46,545 --> 00:35:47,944 It was Andy's idea. 934 00:35:47,946 --> 00:35:49,513 You shouldn't have taken it. 935 00:35:49,515 --> 00:35:51,581 Bad management. 936 00:35:51,583 --> 00:35:54,818 Good thing I'm back. 937 00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:56,853 Ryan, coffee. 938 00:35:56,855 --> 00:35:58,555 I don't do that stuff anymore. 939 00:35:58,557 --> 00:36:01,124 No, it's for me, bimbo. 940 00:36:01,126 --> 00:36:02,225 Kids. 941 00:36:02,227 --> 00:36:04,227 So I'm back. 942 00:36:04,229 --> 00:36:11,268 And I am never, ever going to leave. 943 00:36:11,270 --> 00:36:14,838 I am going nowhere. 944 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,375 This place is like... 945 00:36:18,377 --> 00:36:21,645 the hospital where I was born, 946 00:36:21,647 --> 00:36:24,314 my house, 947 00:36:24,316 --> 00:36:28,485 my old age home, 948 00:36:28,487 --> 00:36:30,654 and my graveyard... 949 00:36:30,656 --> 00:36:33,190 for my bones. 950 00:36:33,192 --> 00:36:35,692 Did Karen get the job? 951 00:36:38,095 --> 00:36:39,696 Back to work. 952 00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,264 Still waiting on that coffee. 953 00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:56,880 Pam, hello. 954 00:36:56,882 --> 00:36:57,981 Dwight, hello. 955 00:36:57,983 --> 00:36:59,883 I wanted to thank you. 956 00:37:01,319 --> 00:37:03,420 For helping me... 957 00:37:03,422 --> 00:37:05,021 when you held the title 958 00:37:05,023 --> 00:37:08,191 of secret assistant to the regional manager. 959 00:37:10,261 --> 00:37:14,397 You served the office with great dignity. 960 00:37:22,173 --> 00:37:24,574 No, I don't know what the future holds, 961 00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,477 but I'm optimistic. 962 00:37:27,479 --> 00:37:31,047 And, uh, I had fun goofing around with Dwight today. 963 00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:36,720 Jim and I are just too similar. 964 00:37:38,155 --> 00:37:41,825 Maybe one day I'll find my own Karen. 965 00:37:41,827 --> 00:37:44,294 But--you--that is a, um... 966 00:37:44,296 --> 00:37:45,929 You know, not-- 967 00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:47,297 A man. 968 00:37:47,299 --> 00:37:48,865 A man version. 969 00:37:48,867 --> 00:37:52,869 But, uh, until then... 970 00:37:52,871 --> 00:37:55,672 I can hold my head up. 971 00:37:55,674 --> 00:37:57,741 I'm not gay. 972 00:37:57,743 --> 00:38:00,910 I don't know how I feel about hiring a Sixers fan. 973 00:38:00,912 --> 00:38:02,445 I should leave. 974 00:38:03,382 --> 00:38:04,547 Now, let me ask you a question, Jim. 975 00:38:04,549 --> 00:38:06,149 You're clearly a very bright guy. 976 00:38:06,151 --> 00:38:07,350 - Thanks. - Always hit your numbers. 977 00:38:07,352 --> 00:38:09,452 Personable, you make a great impression 978 00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:10,787 - on everyone you meet. - I'm sorry, wait. 979 00:38:10,789 --> 00:38:13,023 So is the question how'd I get to be so awesome? 980 00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:15,759 Because I don't have an answer for you. 981 00:38:15,761 --> 00:38:18,528 Oh, uh, hey, do you have your quarterly numbers? 982 00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:19,696 Yes, absolutely. 983 00:38:19,698 --> 00:38:20,797 And that, uh, questionnaire? 984 00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:22,032 Sorry to make you fill that thing out. 985 00:38:22,034 --> 00:38:24,100 - Oh, no, absolutely. - Stupid HR formality. 986 00:38:24,102 --> 00:38:27,070 We have this very irritating HR guy here. 987 00:38:27,072 --> 00:38:28,471 He's probably the only person you're not gonna like. 988 00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:32,242 Kendall. Ugh. 989 00:38:32,244 --> 00:38:34,577 So first up. 990 00:38:34,579 --> 00:38:35,612 There you go. 991 00:38:35,614 --> 00:38:36,613 How do you think you'd function 992 00:38:36,615 --> 00:38:38,214 here in New York? 993 00:38:38,216 --> 00:38:40,350 What's that? 994 00:38:40,352 --> 00:38:42,118 Oh, uh, great. You know? 995 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,788 I just, um, I really appreciate the buildings, 996 00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:47,190 and, uh, the people. 997 00:38:47,192 --> 00:38:50,694 And, um, there's just an energy that New York has. 998 00:38:50,696 --> 00:38:51,961 - Mm-hmm. - Uh... 999 00:38:51,963 --> 00:38:54,631 Not to mention, they have places that are open past 8:00. 1000 00:38:54,633 --> 00:38:56,366 So that's a bonus. 1001 00:38:56,368 --> 00:38:57,500 You've been in the Scranton branch 1002 00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:58,802 a long time. 1003 00:38:58,804 --> 00:39:02,305 What have you liked most about that place? 1004 00:39:04,809 --> 00:39:06,543 The friendships. 1005 00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:07,911 Okay. 1006 00:39:07,913 --> 00:39:10,447 Well, we want the person who takes this position 1007 00:39:10,449 --> 00:39:12,582 to be here for the long haul. 1008 00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:15,285 So... long haul. 1009 00:39:15,287 --> 00:39:17,153 Where do you see yourself in ten years? 1010 00:39:26,964 --> 00:39:28,665 How are your feet? 1011 00:39:28,667 --> 00:39:30,233 Medium rare. 1012 00:39:30,235 --> 00:39:31,935 Thanks. 1013 00:39:34,338 --> 00:39:36,072 The real reason that I went to Stamford 1014 00:39:36,074 --> 00:39:40,410 was because I wanted to be... 1015 00:39:40,412 --> 00:39:43,847 not here. 1016 00:39:43,849 --> 00:39:46,449 I know. 1017 00:39:46,451 --> 00:39:51,321 And even though I came back, 1018 00:39:51,323 --> 00:39:53,423 I just feel like 1019 00:39:53,425 --> 00:39:57,627 I've never really come back. 1020 00:40:04,702 --> 00:40:06,936 Well, I wish you would. 1021 00:40:14,513 --> 00:40:17,614 Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. 1022 00:40:17,616 --> 00:40:19,682 Just one moment, I'll transfer you. 1023 00:40:19,684 --> 00:40:21,317 I haven't heard anything. 1024 00:40:21,319 --> 00:40:23,586 But I bet Jim got the job. 1025 00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:24,888 I mean, why wouldn't he? 1026 00:40:24,890 --> 00:40:27,323 He's totally qualified and smart. 1027 00:40:27,325 --> 00:40:29,592 Everyone loves him. 1028 00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:33,530 And if he never comes back again, 1029 00:40:33,532 --> 00:40:35,865 that's okay. 1030 00:40:35,867 --> 00:40:38,168 We're friends. 1031 00:40:38,170 --> 00:40:40,937 And I'm sure we'll stay friends. 1032 00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:43,673 We just... we never got the timing right. 1033 00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:45,108 You know? 1034 00:40:45,110 --> 00:40:49,612 I shot him down, and then he did the same to me, and... 1035 00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:50,613 But you know what? 1036 00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,215 It's okay. 1037 00:40:52,217 --> 00:40:54,417 I am totally fine. 1038 00:40:54,419 --> 00:40:55,885 Everything is gonna be totally-- 1039 00:40:55,887 --> 00:40:57,487 Pam. Sorry. 1040 00:40:57,489 --> 00:41:01,491 Um, are you free for dinner tonight? 1041 00:41:01,493 --> 00:41:02,926 Yes. 1042 00:41:02,928 --> 00:41:04,194 All right. 1043 00:41:04,196 --> 00:41:07,797 Then it's a date. 1044 00:41:14,004 --> 00:41:16,072 I'm sorry, what was the question? 1045 00:41:16,507 --> 00:41:20,043 So I know we left the other day on a note of uncertainty, 1046 00:41:20,045 --> 00:41:21,744 but after some more thought, 1047 00:41:21,746 --> 00:41:24,714 I'm very pleased to be able to offer you this job. 1048 00:41:24,716 --> 00:41:26,816 Great. 1049 00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:28,551 I'm so glad. 1050 00:41:28,553 --> 00:41:30,553 We're all very excited you're gonna be joining us. 1051 00:41:30,555 --> 00:41:32,522 It'll be nice to have another MBA around here. 1052 00:41:32,524 --> 00:41:35,191 I'm excited too. 1053 00:41:35,193 --> 00:41:36,893 Okay. 1054 00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:39,562 Bye. 1055 00:41:39,564 --> 00:41:40,563 Who was that? 1056 00:41:40,565 --> 00:41:42,732 Nobody. 1057 00:41:42,734 --> 00:41:44,200 You and I are done. 1058 00:41:44,202 --> 00:41:46,269 What?! 69620

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