Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:05,971
David.
2
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,940
Oh, Michael.
3
00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:09,441
Are we all set?
4
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,811
Isn't...
our interview tomorrow?
5
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:16,048
Yes.
6
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:18,150
I just happened to be
in the neighborhood,
7
00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:20,052
thought I'd drop in, say hello.
8
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,553
Just happened to be
in Midtown Manhattan?
9
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,390
Thought I'd catch a show.
10
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,991
Middle of a work day?
11
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,760
No.
12
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:29,828
You know what?
13
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,231
Since I'm here,
let me ask you a few questions
14
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,266
about the job.
15
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,567
Okay.
16
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,269
Um, how many people
are you interviewing?
17
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:39,171
We're only interviewing
branch managers
18
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,939
and some lower level
company people.
19
00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:43,075
Ah, well. Good.
20
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,843
Out of curiosity,
are you interviewing anyone
21
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,678
who's been here
longer than I have,
22
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,514
or manages more people?
23
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,449
- I don't think so.
- Great.
24
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,217
One more question.
25
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:55,254
When you merged those branches,
who did you put in charge?
26
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:58,023
I believe we put you in charge.
27
00:00:58,025 --> 00:00:59,925
Ah, great.
No further questions.
28
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,427
- Okay, Michael.
- Okay.
29
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,195
I'm really looking forward
to our interview.
30
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,564
And I'm really looking forward
to working with you.
31
00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:13,038
I have got it made
in the shade.
32
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,239
I know this company.
33
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,775
The other branch managers
are total morons.
34
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:17,943
Hey, Pam, yeah.
35
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,044
I forgot what day
the interview was,
36
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:20,312
and I drove
to New York accidentally.
37
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:22,247
Be, like, three hours late.
38
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:46,138
See, I have 600.
39
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,806
Yeah, I don't have--
40
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,408
Hey.
41
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:50,542
Hey, Kev.
42
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:53,212
What's different about you?
43
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,446
You look worse.
44
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,447
Thank you.
45
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,448
He got a haircut.
46
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,950
That's sexy.
Hot.
47
00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:58,984
Oh.
48
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,119
Turn around.
49
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,120
- No.
- C'mon.
50
00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:01,854
No, thanks.
51
00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,522
Do it!
52
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:04,890
Lull-up do!
53
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,292
What's up, Big Haircut?
54
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,027
You are no longer Big Tuna.
55
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,497
From henceforth, you shall
be known as Big Haircut.
56
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:12,498
Andy, just--
57
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,133
- Big Haircut?
- Nothing.
58
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,334
Sorry, can't hear you,
Big Haircut.
59
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,368
- Yup.
- What.
60
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,171
Karen suggested
that I get a haircut
61
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:21,473
for the interview tomorrow.
62
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,475
So that I could look
presentable.
63
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,645
And not, as she
so lovingly puts it,
64
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,447
homeless.
65
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,781
Hey.
66
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,116
I think it looks great.
67
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:33,218
Thanks, Pam.
68
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:39,091
After I had my little outburst
at the beach,
69
00:02:39,093 --> 00:02:41,093
Jim was really nice about it.
70
00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:42,127
He just basically said
71
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,763
that he missed
my friendship too,
72
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,398
and I would always mean
a lot to him.
73
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,433
And I understand
where he's coming from.
74
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,703
For the record,
I am not embarrassed at all.
75
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,006
It needed to be said,
and I said it.
76
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:56,441
And it only took me three years
77
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,610
to summon the courage, so...
78
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,746
Thank you.
79
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,481
Yeah?
80
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,682
You wanted to see me?
81
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,250
Yes.
82
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,452
The time has come
to name my own replacement.
83
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:10,923
So please hand this letter
of congratulations
84
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:13,825
to Dwight K. Schrute.
85
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:18,297
But that's my name.
86
00:03:23,102 --> 00:03:26,271
"Dwight, congratulations,
a-wipe.
87
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:29,041
Don't screw the pooch."
88
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,347
Oh.
89
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,515
Thank you.
90
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,650
Okay.
91
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:42,287
All right.
92
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:43,288
Thank you, Michael.
93
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,357
Okay.
94
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:50,529
- Thank you so much.
- Please.
95
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,531
Stop crying.
96
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:53,865
Thank you.
97
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:03,375
Hey.
98
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,110
Hey.
99
00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:08,447
Um, about the beach.
100
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,949
It's okay, we all say things
without thinking.
101
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,551
Oh, no, it's not that.
102
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,820
I've actually been thinking that
for a long time.
103
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,421
And I'm glad I said it.
104
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,191
I just, I'm sorry
if it made you feel weird.
105
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:22,394
Oh.
106
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,929
Okay.
107
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:28,200
Pam is kind of a bitch.
108
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:29,635
Hey.
109
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,336
What if we leave tonight?
110
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:33,639
Grab a bite, get a hotel room.
111
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,474
Enjoy the city a little bit.
112
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:38,010
Uh...
113
00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:40,712
I just have
so much paperwork to do.
114
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,417
Wow, done.
115
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:48,053
Okay, let's do it.
116
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,755
So I was wondering if Karen
and I could get off
117
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,123
a few hours early,
'cause we wanted
118
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,124
to spend the night in the city.
119
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,259
Why, so you can do it?
120
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:55,294
Whoops.
121
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,395
No, um...
122
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,729
Well, I was thinking that, uh,
123
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,665
actually, we could
all leave tomorrow.
124
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,333
And do a convoy.
125
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,668
- You know?
- Oh.
126
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,803
Convoys are really fun.
127
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,305
Pull up next to each other.
128
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,906
Give each other the finger.
129
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,007
Mm.
130
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,609
Moon each other.
131
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:11,977
Uh, we're gonna go tonight.
132
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,345
But we're gonna see you there
tomorrow morning, right?
133
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,413
All right.
All right.
134
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,814
Your loss.
Wait.
135
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,749
Um, how would you moon us
if you were driving?
136
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:18,884
Cruise control.
137
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,285
Oh.
138
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,255
So Jim, who do you think
is hotter,
139
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,057
Pam or Karen?
140
00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,958
Yeah, I'm not gonna talk
about this now.
141
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,060
Pam is taller.
142
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,094
You sure?
143
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,630
Yes.
144
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,765
She has bigger breasts too.
145
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:34,900
Wow.
146
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:36,535
But I think Karen
has a prettier face.
147
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,203
Mm-hmm.
148
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:40,038
Mm-hmm.
149
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,973
What else?
150
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:45,711
Well, I mean, Pam's face
is really pretty too.
151
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,145
It's a very tough call.
152
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,580
Mm.
153
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:49,648
Really tough call.
154
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:50,816
Yeah.
155
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,584
You know what,
why don't you take
156
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,319
the rest of the day,
figure it out,
157
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,888
and then come back
and tell me what you got?
158
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,358
Will do.
159
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,126
All right.
160
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,829
Yes.
161
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,964
Hey, Pam.
162
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,899
I've been meaning
to say something to you.
163
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,801
I really miss our friendship.
164
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,871
Ha ha, that's very funny.
165
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,906
I've never heard you
talk that much.
166
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,375
I thought it was Kelly.
167
00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:18,276
Are you kidding?
I would never have done that.
168
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,311
It was patheticville.
169
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,312
No offense, Pam.
170
00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:21,313
You know what?
171
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:22,748
Don't even worry about it.
172
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:23,782
Everyone was so drunk,
173
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,584
I bet no one even remembers
what you said.
174
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,585
I remember.
175
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,120
I blogged the whole thing.
176
00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:34,559
www.creedthoughts.gov.
wwwcreedthoughts.
177
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:35,927
Check it out.
178
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,964
Last year, Creed asked me
how to set up a blog.
179
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:43,402
Wanting to protect the world
from being exposed
180
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:46,705
to Creed's brain,
I opened up a Word document
181
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,775
on his computer,
and put an address at the top.
182
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:52,077
I've read some of it.
183
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,478
Even for the internet,
184
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,115
it's...
pretty shocking.
185
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,150
There they are.
186
00:06:58,152 --> 00:06:59,317
The accounting department.
187
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,319
I shall miss your humility
188
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,288
and your
promptly-printed checks.
189
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,623
Do you think
it's gonna be weird?
190
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,858
Working with Jan in New York?
191
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:07,959
No, not at all.
192
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,828
I haven't talked to Jan
since we broke up.
193
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:12,531
And I think if she had
something to say,
194
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,698
she would've called me.
195
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,100
Maybe you
should talk to her--
196
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,101
No, no, no, no.
197
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,102
You know what?
198
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,370
It's a done deal.
199
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:20,172
I basically have the job
already.
200
00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:22,274
There's nothing she can do
to stop it now.
201
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,508
I already sold my condo.
202
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,609
Michael.
203
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,877
What?
Why?
204
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,546
I'm sorry,
that just doesn't make sense.
205
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,547
Yes.
W-why?
206
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:29,848
Who gave you that advice?
207
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,983
Yeah, Michael, you should never
sell your condo--
208
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,251
I have to buy another place.
209
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,453
But you said you were in debt.
210
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:35,987
You're not sure
that you have the job.
211
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,056
I sold it on eBay.
212
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,826
The buyer was very motivated,
as was I.
213
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,528
It went for 80% of what I paid.
214
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,831
Sold in record time.
215
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,265
How would you like to spend
the night
216
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:50,669
with the regional manager
of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton?
217
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,138
No, Dwight, I don't care
if that's how
218
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,240
they consolidated power
in ancient Rome.
219
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,108
No, no.
Not--not Michael.
220
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,910
Me.
221
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,847
I'm taking his job.
222
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,049
Not now.
223
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,058
Good-bye, Kelly Kapur.
224
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,528
Jim, Jim, Jim.
225
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:22,667
Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim,
Jim, Jim, Jim.
226
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,103
Oh.
Hey, Dwight.
227
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,972
I'm going to be your new boss.
228
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,642
It's my greatest dream
come true.
229
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,377
Welcome to the Hotel Hell.
230
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:35,780
Check-in time is now,
check-out time is never.
231
00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:37,048
Does my room have cable?
232
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,049
No.
233
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,318
And the sheets are made
of fire.
234
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,786
Can I change rooms?
235
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,388
Sorry, we're all booked up.
236
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,557
Hell convention in town.
237
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,092
Can I have a late checkout?
238
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,793
We'll have to talk
to the manager.
239
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:50,362
You're not the manager?
240
00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:51,963
Even in your own fantasy?
241
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,733
I'm the owner.
242
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,268
The co-owner.
243
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:57,836
With Satan.
244
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,605
Okay, just so I understand it.
245
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:04,309
In your wildest fantasy,
you are in hell.
246
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:07,612
And you are co-running
a bed and breakfast
247
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:08,847
with the devil.
248
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,383
Yeah, but I haven't told you
my salary yet.
249
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,384
Go.
250
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:16,021
$80,000 a year.
251
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,589
Once I am officially
regional manager,
252
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:20,926
my first order of business
will be to demote Jim Halpert.
253
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,528
So I will need
a new number two.
254
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,164
My ideal choice?
255
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,066
Jack Bauer.
256
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,201
But he is unavailable.
257
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,903
Fictional.
258
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,805
And overqualified.
259
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:37,475
I will see you...
260
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:40,445
at the interview.
261
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:43,748
Yes, you will.
262
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,584
Who is D. Abramson?
263
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,118
Um, he's from that company
in Pittsburgh.
264
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,119
Michael.
265
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,488
Why?
266
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:52,490
Are you here?
267
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:56,595
Uh, how are you?
268
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:57,596
I'm good.
269
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:58,730
How are you, Janet?
270
00:09:58,732 --> 00:09:59,731
It's good to see you.
271
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,299
I'm great.
272
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:08,840
Uh, can we...
can we talk privately
273
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,241
for a minute?
274
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,143
Why privately?
275
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:16,581
Uh, I just...
I, uh, I don't, uh.
276
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,850
I-I don't like the way
that we left things.
277
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,986
Okay, sure.
Fine.
278
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,420
Um, why don't you wait
in my office?
279
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,255
I have some important
business matters
280
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,958
to take care of.
281
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,226
Okay.
282
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,195
Okay.
283
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:36,668
Pam, DEFCON 10,
Houston, we have a problem.
284
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,703
What do you want me to do?
285
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:41,373
Uh, I may need
some immediate assistance.
286
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:44,609
If you would slowly and quietly
gather the ladies
287
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:45,710
in the conference room.
288
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:46,945
Phyllis, Angela, Karen.
289
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,279
What about Meredith?
290
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,748
No.
291
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,783
She's an alternate.
292
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,385
So how you been?
293
00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:54,619
- I've been good.
- Good.
294
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,321
Good. Yeah.
295
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,389
Oh.
296
00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:58,723
Sorry to drop by unexpectedly.
297
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:02,093
I, uh, tried calling,
but I kept getting voicemail.
298
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,628
Weird, yeah.
299
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,530
I didn't get
both of your messages.
300
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,532
Ah.
301
00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:12,370
So, uh, Michael needs us
in the conference room.
302
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,371
Oh, is it Jan again?
303
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:16,074
Hey, uh,
before I leave tonight,
304
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,343
would you mind making
a half a dozen copies
305
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,511
of Jim's and my sales reports
306
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:20,512
for our interviews tomorrow?
307
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:21,513
Uh, sure.
308
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,881
Thanks.
309
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,083
I really hope you get the job.
310
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:29,521
Thanks.
311
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,257
After you ended everything
with us,
312
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:33,758
I went on a vacation.
313
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,393
Mm.
314
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,594
To kind of clear my mind.
315
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,063
Sounds good, sounds fun.
316
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,799
It was, yeah, it was good.
317
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,867
I think I should just...
318
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,602
get right to the point,
you know?
319
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:48,740
Um, I-I feel good
about myself
320
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:52,310
for the first time
in a really long time.
321
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,579
And I've made some big changes
322
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:57,382
in my life, and...
323
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,818
I miss you.
324
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,922
I want us to get back together.
325
00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:10,028
Would you excuse me
for a second?
326
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,597
Oh, okay.
327
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:16,534
DEFCON 20.
328
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:17,669
She wants to get back together.
329
00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:18,837
What are you gonna do?
330
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,538
I don't know.
That's why you're here.
331
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,740
Help me, please.
332
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:22,774
Would you wanna get
back together with her?
333
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,375
No! No.
334
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:25,610
What do I do?
335
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,512
Just don't get
back together with her.
336
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,646
What if she makes me?
337
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,415
How can she make you
get back together with her?
338
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,084
She made me do a lot of things
I didn't wanna do.
339
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,386
This was
a terrible relationship.
340
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,088
You were not happy
when you were with her.
341
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,089
I wasn't.
342
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,791
You're so much happier now.
343
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,060
Just go in there and be strong.
344
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,595
You're right.
345
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,230
You are absolutely right,
I need to go in there
346
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,232
and tell her
that we can't be together.
347
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:48,767
Right.
348
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,401
- Wow.
- You can do it.
349
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,737
I'm in a very good place
right now.
350
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:53,738
Thank you.
351
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,440
Go. Go, go.
352
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,376
Okay.
353
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,247
Jan...
354
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:04,616
We need to talk.
355
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,123
Jan is in a different place
right now.
356
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,225
And it is a sign of maturity
357
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:17,028
to give people second chances.
358
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,930
So I'm going to hear her out.
359
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:27,105
Oh, my God.
360
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,709
Yeah, bigger actually.
361
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:32,710
That's crazy.
362
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:33,845
Mm-hmm.
363
00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:40,151
Oh, my God,
can you believe that?
364
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,352
Unbelievable.
365
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,687
Wow.
366
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:43,922
She could put the cup
right there.
367
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:44,923
I know.
368
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,424
No, it's fine.
369
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,459
I'm sure it must've been weird
for Jim
370
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,262
when Roy and I
were joking around.
371
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,131
That one time.
372
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,467
I would never do that.
373
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,603
Waste of money.
374
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,472
In my experience,
guys are way more attracted
375
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,975
to the back of you
than to the front.
376
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:05,710
I love fake boobs.
377
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:08,780
Oftentimes you find them
on strippers.
378
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:09,781
I find it offensive.
379
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:11,482
Au naturel, baby.
380
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,784
That's how I like 'em.
381
00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:15,820
Swing low, sweet chariots.
382
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,388
So...
383
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,190
There are a lot of things
I would like to do differently.
384
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,191
Yeah.
385
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,193
I feel like
when we first got together,
386
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,162
that I had a problem
with my priorities.
387
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,663
First got priorities.
388
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,399
And if we could talk
about a way to approach
389
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,801
a possible reconciliation.
390
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,302
Let's get back together.
391
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,039
No. No, no, no.
392
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,107
I'll tell you this,
393
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,042
it is not
because of the boob job.
394
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,178
Excuse me, boob enhancement.
395
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,379
That would be shallow.
396
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,414
And this is the opposite
of shallow.
397
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,951
This is emotionally magnificent.
398
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:48,386
Okay, everyone, listen up!
399
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,522
Time to begin
the interview process!
400
00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:55,260
Andrew Bernard.
401
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,161
Saving the best for first.
402
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:58,930
All right, you guys,
see you later.
403
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,131
Wish us luck.
404
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,566
No! Hey, hey, hey,
do not wish them luck.
405
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,734
Do not wish them luck.
406
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,535
All luck must be wished
unto Michael.
407
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,371
Good luck, you guys.
408
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,839
What did I say?
409
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:08,840
Good luck.
410
00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:10,575
Thanks.
411
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,380
I'm happy for him.
412
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:17,048
I hope he gets the job.
413
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,183
I really just want him
to be happy.
414
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:20,852
And I know that sounds cliché.
415
00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:25,690
And I know saying
it sounds cliché sounds cliché.
416
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,159
Maybe I'm being cliché,
I don't care.
417
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:31,930
'Cause I am what I am.
418
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,265
That's Popeye.
419
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,034
I am going to begin
this process
420
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,869
with a simple test
of intelligence
421
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:40,672
and mental dexterity.
422
00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:41,973
What is the best color?
423
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:45,777
White, because it contains
all other colors.
424
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,879
Wrong, black.
It is the most dominant.
425
00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:49,180
How do you make a table?
426
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:52,550
You make a chair,
but you don't sit on it.
427
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,851
What is the capital of Maine?
428
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,554
The capital of Maine
is Montpelier, Vermont.
429
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,690
Which is near Ithaca, New York,
430
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:00,091
where I went to Cornell.
431
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:03,061
Okay, also, moratorium
on Cornell talk.
432
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,195
Don't wanna hear about it.
433
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,496
Forget your personal history,
434
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,098
and learn the history
of this company.
435
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,099
Should not be a problem.
436
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,233
I minored in history
437
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:11,169
in the ivy league school
which I attended.
438
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:13,438
You're not off
to a very good start, Bernard.
439
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,340
I agree.
440
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,709
But in another way,
441
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:21,245
I am off to a very good start,
wouldn't you say?
442
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,781
I am a great interviewee.
443
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:26,784
Why? Because I have something
no one else has.
444
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,953
My brain.
445
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:33,558
Which I use to my advantage,
when advantageous.
446
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:38,796
Time!
Nope, you failed.
447
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,098
Damn it!
448
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:44,202
This interview is over,
I'll let you know.
449
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,771
Hey, thank you so much
for driving me down
450
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:47,772
for my interview.
451
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,040
Totally. No problem.
452
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,142
What are you interviewing for,
by the way?
453
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:52,610
My assistant, or...
454
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:53,978
Oh, you know, I'm gonna have
455
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:56,614
a "Congratulations, Karen"
party, um,
456
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,049
tomorrow night
at my friend's house.
457
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,118
- Oh, wow, that sounds fun.
- Yeah.
458
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,153
Is your friend named Karen too?
459
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,554
What did she accomplish?
460
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,757
No, I'm sorry.
I should've been clearer.
461
00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:06,991
Uh-huh.
It's for me.
462
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:10,828
- Oh.
- 'Cause I'm gonna get the job.
463
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,597
How remarkable.
464
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,399
Thanks.
465
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,903
Wait, let me just
check one more thing.
466
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:22,140
Okay.
467
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,008
Very good.
468
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,783
All right, well,
I have to get back.
469
00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:33,851
But I will see you
in New York tomorrow, right?
470
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:34,852
Yes, indeed.
471
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,020
Good luck with your interview.
472
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,523
Thank you.
473
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:39,991
Bye.
474
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,598
So I...
475
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,233
guess we're getting
back together.
476
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,468
What happened?
477
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,203
Your advice was good,
478
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,605
but Jan's was bigger.
479
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,274
Here's the sitch.
480
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,710
Two weeks ago, I was
in the worst relationship
481
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:00,711
of my life.
482
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,447
She treated me poorly.
483
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,781
We didn't connect.
484
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,283
I was miserable.
485
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:09,654
Now I'm in the best relationship
of my life
486
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:12,590
with the same woman.
487
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,693
Love is a mystery.
488
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,563
So we have all night,
where do you wanna go first?
489
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,831
I don't know.
490
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:20,932
How 'bout the U.N.?
491
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,134
How often do you come here?
492
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:25,036
Mm, every time
my sixth grade class
493
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:26,037
goes on a field trip.
494
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:27,038
Well, I think you're
495
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,707
really going to enjoy this,
Adult Jim.
496
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,349
Hey, everybody.
497
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,084
The next time you see me,
I will be working
498
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,953
for corporate.
499
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,754
Starting tomorrow,
Dwight Schrute
500
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:47,258
will be running the branch.
501
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,961
So without further ado...
502
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,132
I would like to start saying
my good-byes.
503
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:58,903
♪ For everything you've done
504
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:01,639
♪ You know I'm bound
505
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,141
Okay.
506
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,610
♪ I'm bound to thank you
for it ♪
507
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,912
♪ Na na na na na na na
508
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,281
Good night.
509
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,883
And good luck.
510
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:13,851
♪ Na na na
511
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,487
♪ Na na na na na na
512
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,656
♪ Na na na na na na na
513
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,297
Who's ready to work?
514
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:31,202
Yeah, we went
to The Spotted Pig
515
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,670
for dinner,
it's in the Village.
516
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,105
Uh, Karen knew it.
517
00:19:34,107 --> 00:19:36,741
And then we second-acted
Spamalot.
518
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,476
That's when you sneak in
at intermission
519
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:39,977
with all the smokers.
520
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,114
And then we went to a bar
that used to be a church.
521
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:46,184
Oh, and at this one bar,
I swear I saw Lorne Michaels.
522
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,519
That wasn't him.
523
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,022
So what's gonna happen with us
524
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,590
when I get this job?
525
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,258
Oh, do you mean
when I get the job?
526
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:57,695
Well, if you get the job...
527
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,398
then I'd move here with you.
528
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,967
Would you move with me?
529
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,569
I'm not stupid, okay?
530
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:06,604
I was at the beach.
531
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,940
We don't have a future
in Scranton.
532
00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:12,076
There's
one too many people there.
533
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,378
You mean Kevin?
534
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,613
Exactly.
535
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,518
No, but you get it, right?
536
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,486
We can't stay there.
537
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,622
Yeah.
538
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,924
I do.
539
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,593
Come on.
540
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,474
How are you guys doing?
Need anything?
541
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,443
Uh, no, we're good.
Thanks.
542
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,044
I have been here
a bunch of times,
543
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,546
so I know where everything is.
544
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,914
Know everybody's names.
545
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,582
If you need to know
somebody's name, just ask me.
546
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,520
Who's that?
547
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:58,356
That is Beardy.
548
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,390
Beardy?
549
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,424
Mm-hmm.
550
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,692
Why don't I introduce myself.
551
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:02,893
No, no, no--just--
that's not his real name.
552
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:05,563
That's just
what I call him, so.
553
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,331
I am by far
the most qualified person
554
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,566
they're interviewing.
555
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,167
Jim and Karen are here.
556
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,535
Which is cute.
557
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:14,839
They're like kid actors
tagging along with Daddy
558
00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:16,340
on the big audition.
559
00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:18,075
Hoping to be discovered.
560
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:21,779
Except Daddy
is the best actor around.
561
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:25,349
Daddy is Meryl Streep.
562
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:27,485
Michael is gone.
563
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:32,223
Hail to the Chief!
564
00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:33,491
My first order of business,
565
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:36,661
make Andrew Bernard
my number two.
566
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:39,463
My first order of business,
accept.
567
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,232
As if you had a choice.
568
00:21:41,234 --> 00:21:42,867
Duh.
569
00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:45,002
Opportunity of a lifetime.
570
00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:49,607
Three months ago,
I was nowhere.
571
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:53,110
I was just a Cornell grad
in anger management.
572
00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:54,679
Look where I am now.
573
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:57,581
Not bad.
574
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:02,920
Hey, Hunter!
575
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:04,522
What's up, my brother?
576
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:07,391
This is Hunter,
secretary extraordinaire.
577
00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:09,427
Uh, administrative assistant.
578
00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:10,795
Is Jan in yet?
579
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:11,962
I think she's coming in later.
580
00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:12,963
Could you give her
a message for me
581
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:13,964
when she gets in?
582
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:15,800
Sure.
583
00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:20,004
Just say
"I want to squeeze them."
584
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:22,239
It's code,
she'll know what it means.
585
00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:24,342
Okay.
586
00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:25,343
Oh, and Hunter?
587
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,511
Could you tell her "Brr," also?
588
00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:32,950
You showed
great leadership potential
589
00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:33,984
at the coal walk.
590
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:35,419
Even if you did follow it
591
00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:37,588
with that embarrassing
personal confession.
592
00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:39,457
Thank you.
593
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:41,392
I had to make Andy
my number two.
594
00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:43,060
It's political, complicated.
595
00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:44,195
You wouldn't understand.
596
00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:48,265
I want you to be
assistant regional manager.
597
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:50,468
Really?
598
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,269
Well, in a sense.
599
00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:54,038
Although publicly,
I am going to retain
600
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,974
the assistant regional manager
position.
601
00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:58,342
You will be your own assistant.
602
00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:00,378
Correct, I need someone
I can trust.
603
00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:02,480
But I would also like the title
604
00:23:02,482 --> 00:23:04,882
to be secretly applied to you.
605
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:09,019
Just stripped
of its pomp and frills.
606
00:23:09,021 --> 00:23:11,288
Okay.
607
00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:15,459
So you would be
the regional manager
608
00:23:15,461 --> 00:23:18,396
and the assistant
regional manager.
609
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:20,464
Andy is your number two.
610
00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:24,168
I would be the secret
assistant regional manager.
611
00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:25,336
Mm, let's call it
secret assistant
612
00:23:25,338 --> 00:23:26,971
to the regional manager.
613
00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:28,205
Mm-hmm.
614
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,673
Do you accept?
615
00:23:29,675 --> 00:23:32,443
Absolutely, I do.
616
00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:33,811
I learned from Jim,
617
00:23:33,813 --> 00:23:36,313
if Dwight ever asks you
if you accept something secret,
618
00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:40,384
you reply,
"Absolutely, I do."
619
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:45,956
Hello, hello!
620
00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:47,792
Michael, good to see you.
621
00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:49,160
- Good to see you.
- Have a seat.
622
00:23:49,162 --> 00:23:50,928
Here are the post-merger
performance stats
623
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,530
- that you asked for.
- Great.
624
00:23:52,532 --> 00:23:54,198
I've been meaning to thank you,
by the way.
625
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,500
You didn't lose
a single customer in the merger,
626
00:23:56,502 --> 00:23:58,068
and you still managed
to trim the budget.
627
00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,971
That is nice work.
628
00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:04,408
So let me ask you a question
right off the bat.
629
00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:05,876
What do you think
are your greatest strengths
630
00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:07,211
as a manager?
631
00:24:07,213 --> 00:24:10,014
Why don't I tell you
what my greatest weaknesses are?
632
00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:11,916
I work too hard.
633
00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:13,350
I care too much.
634
00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:17,721
And sometimes I can be
too invested in my job.
635
00:24:17,723 --> 00:24:19,857
Okay.
636
00:24:19,859 --> 00:24:21,592
And your strengths?
637
00:24:21,594 --> 00:24:25,029
Well, my weaknesses
are actually strengths.
638
00:24:25,031 --> 00:24:28,365
Oh! Yes. Very good.
639
00:24:28,367 --> 00:24:29,366
Thank you.
640
00:24:29,368 --> 00:24:30,367
Very good.
641
00:24:30,369 --> 00:24:31,669
Dwight is our new boss.
642
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,771
Oh, Michael's
not going anywhere.
643
00:24:33,773 --> 00:24:35,506
Then who do you think
will get the job?
644
00:24:35,508 --> 00:24:36,941
Karen.
645
00:24:36,943 --> 00:24:39,043
She looks corporate.
646
00:24:39,045 --> 00:24:41,479
Those little pantsuits.
647
00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:42,913
I think it's gonna be Michael.
648
00:24:42,915 --> 00:24:44,782
Do you really think
he's qualified for that job?
649
00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:47,518
No, but he wasn't qualified
for the job he has now,
650
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,752
and he got that one.
651
00:24:48,754 --> 00:24:49,753
Yeah.
652
00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:50,855
Listen up!
653
00:24:50,857 --> 00:24:53,224
Come to the center
of the room, please.
654
00:24:53,226 --> 00:24:56,060
This...
655
00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:58,629
is a Schrute buck.
656
00:24:58,631 --> 00:25:00,130
When you have done
something good,
657
00:25:00,132 --> 00:25:03,634
you will receive
one Schrute buck.
658
00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:05,436
1,000 Schrute bucks equals
659
00:25:05,438 --> 00:25:07,972
an extra five minutes
for lunch.
660
00:25:07,974 --> 00:25:11,108
What is the cash value
of a Schrute buck?
661
00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:12,743
Excellent question, Pam.
662
00:25:12,745 --> 00:25:14,578
1/100th of a cent.
663
00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:18,415
So 10,000 of your dollars
is worth one real dollar?
664
00:25:18,417 --> 00:25:20,084
Just zip your lid.
665
00:25:20,086 --> 00:25:22,119
Another announcement.
666
00:25:22,121 --> 00:25:24,088
Michael wasted
an enormous amount
667
00:25:24,090 --> 00:25:25,389
of the group's time
and patience
668
00:25:25,391 --> 00:25:27,858
with non-work-related
ethnic celebrations
669
00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:30,828
and parades of soft-minded
do-good-edness.
670
00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:32,363
No longer.
671
00:25:32,365 --> 00:25:34,598
No more meetings.
672
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:35,799
Amen.
673
00:25:35,801 --> 00:25:38,736
Instead, today I will begin
my first lecture
674
00:25:38,738 --> 00:25:41,105
in a long series of lectures
designed to increase
675
00:25:41,107 --> 00:25:42,640
your knowledge
on the world of paper.
676
00:25:42,642 --> 00:25:43,641
Do we have to?
677
00:25:43,643 --> 00:25:45,342
Yes.
Michael is gone.
678
00:25:45,344 --> 00:25:48,279
There's a new sheriff here
in these offices.
679
00:25:48,281 --> 00:25:50,080
And his name is me.
680
00:25:50,082 --> 00:25:52,449
Conference room, ten seconds.
681
00:25:52,451 --> 00:25:53,484
All of you!
682
00:25:53,486 --> 00:25:55,553
I literally cannot wait
until I see
683
00:25:55,555 --> 00:25:57,688
what Dwight has planned.
684
00:25:57,690 --> 00:26:00,090
And I wish Jim were here.
685
00:26:00,859 --> 00:26:03,160
What do you think
we could be doing better?
686
00:26:03,162 --> 00:26:05,729
I've never been a big fan
of the name Dunder-Mifflin.
687
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:07,164
I was thinking we could
name the company
688
00:26:07,166 --> 00:26:10,134
something like Paper Great,
689
00:26:10,136 --> 00:26:12,036
where great paper
is our passion.
690
00:26:12,038 --> 00:26:14,605
We're grrreat!
691
00:26:14,607 --> 00:26:17,508
I don't know, could be good.
692
00:26:17,510 --> 00:26:18,976
Or, uh, Super Duper Paper.
693
00:26:18,978 --> 00:26:20,578
It's super duper.
694
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:22,446
I don't know,
something like that.
695
00:26:22,448 --> 00:26:24,248
- Okay.
- Okay.
696
00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:25,282
Thanks for coming in, Michael.
697
00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:26,417
Thank you.
698
00:26:26,419 --> 00:26:28,686
It is always a treat
when our paths cross.
699
00:26:28,688 --> 00:26:31,422
It is always a treat
when our paths cross.
700
00:26:31,424 --> 00:26:33,324
So--oh, before I forget.
701
00:26:33,326 --> 00:26:36,560
I wanted to let you know,
if you hadn't already heard,
702
00:26:36,562 --> 00:26:38,762
uh, Jan and I
are back together.
703
00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:40,297
So I may need to fill out
704
00:26:40,299 --> 00:26:42,366
one of those love documents
again.
705
00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:43,434
You're back together.
706
00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:45,769
Yes, and I am very excited
about the prospect
707
00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:46,837
of working under her.
708
00:26:46,839 --> 00:26:48,572
Or on top of her.
709
00:26:48,574 --> 00:26:51,375
Mm, that's not sexual,
just we're all professionals.
710
00:26:51,377 --> 00:26:53,077
Okay, well.
711
00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:55,145
Uh, I thought it was clear
in the description
712
00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:57,181
of the position.
713
00:26:57,183 --> 00:26:59,984
The job you're applying for
is Jan's job.
714
00:26:59,986 --> 00:27:01,285
I don't understand.
715
00:27:01,287 --> 00:27:03,120
So we're gonna tag team it?
716
00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:05,656
No, we're letting Jan go.
717
00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:12,463
Listen up.
Let's start from the ground up.
718
00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:14,598
Where does paper come from?
719
00:27:16,001 --> 00:27:17,267
Trees.
720
00:27:17,269 --> 00:27:20,604
And where do trees grow?
721
00:27:20,606 --> 00:27:22,039
- Forest.
- Soil.
722
00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,607
Right.
723
00:27:23,609 --> 00:27:26,310
We have in front of you here,
724
00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:30,280
seven different types
of Pennsylvania topsoil.
725
00:27:30,282 --> 00:27:35,819
Now, what would you say
is the most important element
726
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:39,289
in the production
of aboveground leafy growth?
727
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:42,793
Probably phosphorus, right?
728
00:27:42,795 --> 00:27:43,794
Wrong.
729
00:27:43,796 --> 00:27:45,062
It's nitrogen.
730
00:27:45,064 --> 00:27:48,265
Absorb this information.
731
00:27:49,534 --> 00:27:50,768
Good.
732
00:27:50,770 --> 00:27:52,836
Now, let us discuss
precipitation.
733
00:27:52,838 --> 00:27:53,837
Stanley.
734
00:27:53,839 --> 00:27:55,439
When rainfall occurs,
735
00:27:55,441 --> 00:27:58,676
does it usually fall
in a liquid, solid,
736
00:27:58,678 --> 00:28:00,044
or gaseous state?
737
00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:02,079
Liquid.
738
00:28:02,081 --> 00:28:03,380
Very good.
739
00:28:03,382 --> 00:28:06,083
You have earned
one Schrute buck.
740
00:28:06,085 --> 00:28:07,951
I don't want it.
741
00:28:07,953 --> 00:28:10,387
Then you have been deducted
50 Schrute bucks.
742
00:28:10,389 --> 00:28:11,388
Make it 100.
743
00:28:11,390 --> 00:28:13,657
Well...
744
00:28:13,659 --> 00:28:15,693
Don't you wanna earn
Schrute bucks?
745
00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:18,729
No--In fact,
I'll give you a billion
746
00:28:18,731 --> 00:28:21,265
Stanley nickels
if you never talk to me again.
747
00:28:21,267 --> 00:28:22,266
What's the ratio
of Stanley nickels
748
00:28:22,268 --> 00:28:23,567
to Schrute bucks?
749
00:28:23,569 --> 00:28:26,036
The same as the ratio
of unicorns to leprechauns.
750
00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:27,271
- Okay.
- That's it!
751
00:28:27,273 --> 00:28:28,672
Class is cancelled,
everybody out.
752
00:28:28,674 --> 00:28:29,840
What? No, wait!
What are you doing?
753
00:28:29,842 --> 00:28:31,041
- I'm punishing them.
- No, no, no!
754
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:32,076
Class is not cancelled!
755
00:28:33,746 --> 00:28:34,712
Hey! Come on!
756
00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:38,315
Let's listen
to Dwight's presentation.
757
00:28:40,018 --> 00:28:41,251
What--what
are you winking for?
758
00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:42,286
Zip your lid!
759
00:28:42,288 --> 00:28:45,122
So that's my basic
five year plan.
760
00:28:45,124 --> 00:28:47,124
And then after that, who knows?
761
00:28:47,126 --> 00:28:48,692
Okay.
762
00:28:48,694 --> 00:28:51,061
And now, this may seem
like an odd question.
763
00:28:51,063 --> 00:28:52,896
Yeah?
764
00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:55,065
What do you think
about Michael Scott?
765
00:28:55,067 --> 00:28:56,667
He's a very nice man.
766
00:28:56,669 --> 00:28:57,968
Mm-hmm.
767
00:28:57,970 --> 00:29:00,637
And he's very well-suited
for the job he has now.
768
00:29:00,639 --> 00:29:02,072
This is off the record.
769
00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:04,074
He would be a disaster.
770
00:29:09,447 --> 00:29:10,447
Hey, you!
771
00:29:10,449 --> 00:29:12,616
Hey.
772
00:29:12,618 --> 00:29:14,418
How was your interview?
773
00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:15,753
- Pretty good.
- Yeah?
774
00:29:15,755 --> 00:29:16,987
Could've gone better, I guess.
775
00:29:16,989 --> 00:29:20,257
Oh, well, I will put in
a good word for you.
776
00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:23,193
Cool. Maybe you should do it
sooner rather than later.
777
00:29:23,195 --> 00:29:24,495
What?
778
00:29:24,497 --> 00:29:25,529
Uh, let's just run away
together.
779
00:29:25,531 --> 00:29:26,697
Let's run away to Jamaica,
780
00:29:26,699 --> 00:29:27,831
live in a bungalow.
781
00:29:27,833 --> 00:29:28,999
You have some savings, right?
782
00:29:29,001 --> 00:29:30,000
You can pay off my debts.
783
00:29:30,002 --> 00:29:31,869
It would be fine.
784
00:29:31,871 --> 00:29:33,003
We'd have fun.
785
00:29:33,005 --> 00:29:35,405
What's--
what's the matter?
786
00:29:35,407 --> 00:29:37,374
W-what happened
in there?
787
00:29:37,376 --> 00:29:40,677
I can't tell you.
788
00:29:40,679 --> 00:29:42,246
Tell me what?
789
00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:50,621
You son of a bitch.
790
00:29:50,623 --> 00:29:52,589
Jan, this isn't the time--
791
00:29:52,591 --> 00:29:53,791
You're firing me?
792
00:29:53,793 --> 00:29:55,592
Where the hell do you get off?
793
00:29:56,962 --> 00:29:58,762
Frankly, it's overdue.
794
00:29:58,764 --> 00:30:01,031
Your behavior
in the last two years
795
00:30:01,033 --> 00:30:02,332
has been completely erratic.
796
00:30:02,334 --> 00:30:04,001
Erratic?
797
00:30:04,003 --> 00:30:05,702
Recently, you don't even show
an interest in your work!
798
00:30:05,704 --> 00:30:07,671
You smoke constantly
in your office.
799
00:30:07,673 --> 00:30:09,807
You spend most of the day
online shopping.
800
00:30:09,809 --> 00:30:12,309
You disappear for hours
at a time, sometimes days,
801
00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:14,845
always saying you're visiting
your sister in Scottsdale.
802
00:30:14,847 --> 00:30:16,814
You go to Scranton
far more often than you need to.
803
00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:17,948
Is it because of these?
804
00:30:17,950 --> 00:30:19,650
Whoa, hey, whoa, Jan--
805
00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:20,951
I wanna know--
I wanna know!
806
00:30:20,953 --> 00:30:23,987
Because if it is, then--
then I will see you in court.
807
00:30:23,989 --> 00:30:25,823
- It's not. It's not.
- No.
808
00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:27,391
'Cause he likes them.
Okay?
809
00:30:27,393 --> 00:30:30,227
He likes them, and that is--
that is all I care about.
810
00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:31,662
The time has come
for you to end
811
00:30:31,664 --> 00:30:34,097
your professional relationship
with this company.
812
00:30:34,099 --> 00:30:35,966
You are clearly unstable.
813
00:30:35,968 --> 00:30:37,067
Hey, you're unstable!
814
00:30:37,069 --> 00:30:38,068
Yeah.
815
00:30:38,070 --> 00:30:41,238
No.
We're all unstable.
816
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,840
Okay, you know what,
I'm just not leaving!
817
00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:44,741
I'm not leaving.
818
00:30:44,743 --> 00:30:46,543
Not leaving.
819
00:30:46,545 --> 00:30:48,612
David, I did not tell her.
820
00:30:51,282 --> 00:30:53,116
It's like I'm staring
into my soul
821
00:30:53,118 --> 00:30:54,318
when I look at this wall.
822
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,654
It's like outer space
without the stars.
823
00:30:57,656 --> 00:30:58,989
It's so black.
824
00:30:58,991 --> 00:31:01,525
This is gonna look so awesome!
825
00:31:01,527 --> 00:31:02,659
It's so intimidating.
826
00:31:02,661 --> 00:31:03,927
Anyone who comes in here
827
00:31:03,929 --> 00:31:05,696
is gonna have to take me
seriously.
828
00:31:05,698 --> 00:31:08,565
Abandon all hope,
ye who enter here.
829
00:31:09,235 --> 00:31:10,367
Totally.
830
00:31:21,079 --> 00:31:22,079
Bye, Hunter.
831
00:31:22,081 --> 00:31:23,080
Bye.
832
00:31:24,516 --> 00:31:26,516
Good luck with your band.
833
00:31:26,518 --> 00:31:27,517
Oh, thank--
834
00:31:27,519 --> 00:31:28,852
Don't let them change you.
835
00:31:28,854 --> 00:31:30,454
Okay?
836
00:31:50,808 --> 00:31:53,043
So long,.
837
00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:58,682
So I am gonna give her
a ride home.
838
00:31:58,684 --> 00:32:00,450
Let me know about the job.
839
00:32:00,452 --> 00:32:02,219
Actually, Michael,
I think we're gonna take it
840
00:32:02,221 --> 00:32:03,353
in another direction.
841
00:32:03,355 --> 00:32:05,022
Good, I'm glad we're
on the same page.
842
00:32:05,024 --> 00:32:06,657
I have a lot of ideas
for new directions.
843
00:32:06,659 --> 00:32:09,526
No, we're not giving you
the job.
844
00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:15,699
You know what?
845
00:32:15,701 --> 00:32:18,068
That is actually good
846
00:32:18,070 --> 00:32:20,771
because, um...
847
00:32:20,773 --> 00:32:23,840
I don't think I could take
my girlfriend's job.
848
00:32:23,842 --> 00:32:26,043
That's not being
a good boyfriend.
849
00:32:26,045 --> 00:32:30,714
So I respectfully withdraw
my name from consideration.
850
00:32:33,151 --> 00:32:34,851
Do you accept my withdrawal?
851
00:32:34,853 --> 00:32:36,653
- I do.
- Good, very good.
852
00:32:36,655 --> 00:32:39,089
I am glad we are finally
on the same page.
853
00:32:39,091 --> 00:32:40,991
Still have my job
in Scranton though?
854
00:32:40,993 --> 00:32:42,359
Yes.
Good.
855
00:32:42,361 --> 00:32:43,860
It's all I ever wanted.
856
00:32:43,862 --> 00:32:46,029
These two...
857
00:32:46,031 --> 00:32:48,098
either one of them...
858
00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:50,500
excellent candidates.
859
00:32:53,538 --> 00:32:54,938
Wow.
860
00:32:56,075 --> 00:33:00,377
That was some serious,
hardcore self-destruction.
861
00:33:00,379 --> 00:33:01,645
Yeah.
862
00:33:01,647 --> 00:33:03,246
Kinda feel bad for her though.
863
00:33:03,248 --> 00:33:05,449
Don't. She's nuts.
864
00:33:07,286 --> 00:33:09,152
Oh, man.
865
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,389
You know what?
This might take a while.
866
00:33:12,391 --> 00:33:14,391
You really don't have to stay,
if you don't want.
867
00:33:14,393 --> 00:33:16,893
Okay, good, because a bunch
of my friends
868
00:33:16,895 --> 00:33:18,528
are meeting downtown for lunch,
869
00:33:18,530 --> 00:33:19,997
and I was gonna meet them.
870
00:33:19,999 --> 00:33:21,231
Okay.
So...
871
00:33:21,233 --> 00:33:22,265
Just call me when you're done.
872
00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:23,900
Sure.
873
00:33:23,902 --> 00:33:31,141
- Good luck, Halpert.
- Thank you.
874
00:33:31,143 --> 00:33:33,577
Dunder-Mifflin,
this is Grace.
875
00:33:33,579 --> 00:33:35,779
Sure.
876
00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:39,750
Oh, God!
877
00:33:39,752 --> 00:33:41,318
I mean,
I just don't understand.
878
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,320
It's just so rude, you know?
879
00:33:43,322 --> 00:33:44,888
I mean, the absolute nerve
of that guy!
880
00:33:44,890 --> 00:33:46,123
I am sorry about that.
881
00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,324
- Oh, just...
- That was terrible.
882
00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:48,959
No, actually, I think
it's good.
883
00:33:48,961 --> 00:33:50,327
You know, it's fine actually.
884
00:33:50,329 --> 00:33:51,495
I-I do.
885
00:33:51,497 --> 00:33:53,363
I really think
it's great that it happened,
886
00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:55,132
because, you know,
my work has always been
887
00:33:55,134 --> 00:33:56,133
the thing that's gotten
in the way
888
00:33:56,135 --> 00:33:57,134
of my happiness, so...
889
00:33:57,136 --> 00:33:58,135
Mm-hmm, yeah.
890
00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:01,405
Well, it's...
891
00:34:07,346 --> 00:34:09,379
No, don't cry.
892
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:10,380
It's gonna be okay.
893
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,682
Oh, I know, I know.
894
00:34:12,684 --> 00:34:14,284
It's just...
I'm sorry.
895
00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:16,353
It's just these painkillers
that I started taking
896
00:34:16,355 --> 00:34:18,188
since the surgery.
897
00:34:18,190 --> 00:34:22,292
Oh, they make my moods
totally unpredictable.
898
00:34:22,294 --> 00:34:23,693
Wow.
899
00:34:23,695 --> 00:34:26,229
What am I gonna do?
900
00:34:29,033 --> 00:34:33,804
Well, I guess you could come
and stay at my condo.
901
00:34:33,806 --> 00:34:35,972
I think I could back out
of the sale.
902
00:34:35,974 --> 00:34:37,974
Probably get
some negative feedback
903
00:34:37,976 --> 00:34:39,276
on my eBay profile.
904
00:34:39,278 --> 00:34:40,277
Live together...
905
00:34:40,279 --> 00:34:41,278
Actually, wait a minute.
906
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:42,279
This could be great.
907
00:34:42,281 --> 00:34:43,613
This could be perfect.
908
00:34:43,615 --> 00:34:45,749
You know, my full-time job
could be our relationship.
909
00:34:45,751 --> 00:34:46,983
I could wear stretch pants
and wait for you
910
00:34:46,985 --> 00:34:48,285
to come home at 5:15.
911
00:34:48,287 --> 00:34:49,419
It could work, this could work!
912
00:34:49,421 --> 00:34:51,254
Really.
913
00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:02,933
I'll be back.
914
00:35:02,935 --> 00:35:06,470
And I am back.
915
00:35:06,472 --> 00:35:07,671
How'd it go?
916
00:35:07,673 --> 00:35:09,439
No. No, Pam.
917
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:11,908
I'm back.
918
00:35:11,910 --> 00:35:14,478
For good.
919
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:15,912
Kevin Nealon.
920
00:35:15,914 --> 00:35:18,381
Everybody, may I have
your attention please?
921
00:35:18,383 --> 00:35:22,352
It is with great honor
and privilege
922
00:35:22,354 --> 00:35:25,155
that I announce to you,
I have officially withdrawn
923
00:35:25,157 --> 00:35:28,024
my name for consideration
from the corporate job.
924
00:35:28,026 --> 00:35:30,727
I know, I know, I know.
925
00:35:30,729 --> 00:35:32,229
"Michael,
what are you thinking?
926
00:35:32,231 --> 00:35:33,230
You were a shoo-in."
927
00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:35,232
Well, got down there.
928
00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:37,033
I nailed the interview.
929
00:35:37,035 --> 00:35:39,736
And the strangest thing
happened.
930
00:35:39,738 --> 00:35:42,539
Why is my office black?
931
00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,875
To intimidate my subordinates.
932
00:35:44,877 --> 00:35:46,543
That's stupid.
933
00:35:46,545 --> 00:35:47,944
It was Andy's idea.
934
00:35:47,946 --> 00:35:49,513
You shouldn't have taken it.
935
00:35:49,515 --> 00:35:51,581
Bad management.
936
00:35:51,583 --> 00:35:54,818
Good thing I'm back.
937
00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:56,853
Ryan, coffee.
938
00:35:56,855 --> 00:35:58,555
I don't do that stuff anymore.
939
00:35:58,557 --> 00:36:01,124
No, it's for me, bimbo.
940
00:36:01,126 --> 00:36:02,225
Kids.
941
00:36:02,227 --> 00:36:04,227
So I'm back.
942
00:36:04,229 --> 00:36:11,268
And I am never, ever
going to leave.
943
00:36:11,270 --> 00:36:14,838
I am going nowhere.
944
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,375
This place is like...
945
00:36:18,377 --> 00:36:21,645
the hospital where I was born,
946
00:36:21,647 --> 00:36:24,314
my house,
947
00:36:24,316 --> 00:36:28,485
my old age home,
948
00:36:28,487 --> 00:36:30,654
and my graveyard...
949
00:36:30,656 --> 00:36:33,190
for my bones.
950
00:36:33,192 --> 00:36:35,692
Did Karen get the job?
951
00:36:38,095 --> 00:36:39,696
Back to work.
952
00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,264
Still waiting on that coffee.
953
00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:56,880
Pam, hello.
954
00:36:56,882 --> 00:36:57,981
Dwight, hello.
955
00:36:57,983 --> 00:36:59,883
I wanted to thank you.
956
00:37:01,319 --> 00:37:03,420
For helping me...
957
00:37:03,422 --> 00:37:05,021
when you held the title
958
00:37:05,023 --> 00:37:08,191
of secret assistant
to the regional manager.
959
00:37:10,261 --> 00:37:14,397
You served the office
with great dignity.
960
00:37:22,173 --> 00:37:24,574
No, I don't know
what the future holds,
961
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,477
but I'm optimistic.
962
00:37:27,479 --> 00:37:31,047
And, uh, I had fun goofing
around with Dwight today.
963
00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:36,720
Jim and I are just too similar.
964
00:37:38,155 --> 00:37:41,825
Maybe one day I'll find
my own Karen.
965
00:37:41,827 --> 00:37:44,294
But--you--that is a, um...
966
00:37:44,296 --> 00:37:45,929
You know, not--
967
00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:47,297
A man.
968
00:37:47,299 --> 00:37:48,865
A man version.
969
00:37:48,867 --> 00:37:52,869
But, uh, until then...
970
00:37:52,871 --> 00:37:55,672
I can hold my head up.
971
00:37:55,674 --> 00:37:57,741
I'm not gay.
972
00:37:57,743 --> 00:38:00,910
I don't know how I feel
about hiring a Sixers fan.
973
00:38:00,912 --> 00:38:02,445
I should leave.
974
00:38:03,382 --> 00:38:04,547
Now, let me ask you
a question, Jim.
975
00:38:04,549 --> 00:38:06,149
You're clearly
a very bright guy.
976
00:38:06,151 --> 00:38:07,350
- Thanks.
- Always hit your numbers.
977
00:38:07,352 --> 00:38:09,452
Personable, you make
a great impression
978
00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:10,787
- on everyone you meet.
- I'm sorry, wait.
979
00:38:10,789 --> 00:38:13,023
So is the question
how'd I get to be so awesome?
980
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:15,759
Because I don't have
an answer for you.
981
00:38:15,761 --> 00:38:18,528
Oh, uh, hey, do you have
your quarterly numbers?
982
00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:19,696
Yes, absolutely.
983
00:38:19,698 --> 00:38:20,797
And that, uh, questionnaire?
984
00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:22,032
Sorry to make you fill
that thing out.
985
00:38:22,034 --> 00:38:24,100
- Oh, no, absolutely.
- Stupid HR formality.
986
00:38:24,102 --> 00:38:27,070
We have this very irritating
HR guy here.
987
00:38:27,072 --> 00:38:28,471
He's probably the only person
you're not gonna like.
988
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:32,242
Kendall. Ugh.
989
00:38:32,244 --> 00:38:34,577
So first up.
990
00:38:34,579 --> 00:38:35,612
There you go.
991
00:38:35,614 --> 00:38:36,613
How do you think you'd function
992
00:38:36,615 --> 00:38:38,214
here in New York?
993
00:38:38,216 --> 00:38:40,350
What's that?
994
00:38:40,352 --> 00:38:42,118
Oh, uh, great.
You know?
995
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,788
I just, um, I really appreciate
the buildings,
996
00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:47,190
and, uh, the people.
997
00:38:47,192 --> 00:38:50,694
And, um, there's just
an energy that New York has.
998
00:38:50,696 --> 00:38:51,961
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh...
999
00:38:51,963 --> 00:38:54,631
Not to mention, they have places
that are open past 8:00.
1000
00:38:54,633 --> 00:38:56,366
So that's a bonus.
1001
00:38:56,368 --> 00:38:57,500
You've been
in the Scranton branch
1002
00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:58,802
a long time.
1003
00:38:58,804 --> 00:39:02,305
What have you liked most
about that place?
1004
00:39:04,809 --> 00:39:06,543
The friendships.
1005
00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:07,911
Okay.
1006
00:39:07,913 --> 00:39:10,447
Well, we want the person
who takes this position
1007
00:39:10,449 --> 00:39:12,582
to be here for the long haul.
1008
00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:15,285
So... long haul.
1009
00:39:15,287 --> 00:39:17,153
Where do you see yourself
in ten years?
1010
00:39:26,964 --> 00:39:28,665
How are your feet?
1011
00:39:28,667 --> 00:39:30,233
Medium rare.
1012
00:39:30,235 --> 00:39:31,935
Thanks.
1013
00:39:34,338 --> 00:39:36,072
The real reason
that I went to Stamford
1014
00:39:36,074 --> 00:39:40,410
was because I wanted to be...
1015
00:39:40,412 --> 00:39:43,847
not here.
1016
00:39:43,849 --> 00:39:46,449
I know.
1017
00:39:46,451 --> 00:39:51,321
And even though I came back,
1018
00:39:51,323 --> 00:39:53,423
I just feel like
1019
00:39:53,425 --> 00:39:57,627
I've never really come back.
1020
00:40:04,702 --> 00:40:06,936
Well, I wish you would.
1021
00:40:14,513 --> 00:40:17,614
Dunder-Mifflin,
this is Pam.
1022
00:40:17,616 --> 00:40:19,682
Just one moment,
I'll transfer you.
1023
00:40:19,684 --> 00:40:21,317
I haven't heard anything.
1024
00:40:21,319 --> 00:40:23,586
But I bet Jim got the job.
1025
00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:24,888
I mean, why wouldn't he?
1026
00:40:24,890 --> 00:40:27,323
He's totally qualified
and smart.
1027
00:40:27,325 --> 00:40:29,592
Everyone loves him.
1028
00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:33,530
And if he
never comes back again,
1029
00:40:33,532 --> 00:40:35,865
that's okay.
1030
00:40:35,867 --> 00:40:38,168
We're friends.
1031
00:40:38,170 --> 00:40:40,937
And I'm sure
we'll stay friends.
1032
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:43,673
We just... we never got
the timing right.
1033
00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:45,108
You know?
1034
00:40:45,110 --> 00:40:49,612
I shot him down, and then
he did the same to me, and...
1035
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:50,613
But you know what?
1036
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,215
It's okay.
1037
00:40:52,217 --> 00:40:54,417
I am totally fine.
1038
00:40:54,419 --> 00:40:55,885
Everything
is gonna be totally--
1039
00:40:55,887 --> 00:40:57,487
Pam. Sorry.
1040
00:40:57,489 --> 00:41:01,491
Um, are you free
for dinner tonight?
1041
00:41:01,493 --> 00:41:02,926
Yes.
1042
00:41:02,928 --> 00:41:04,194
All right.
1043
00:41:04,196 --> 00:41:07,797
Then it's a date.
1044
00:41:14,004 --> 00:41:16,072
I'm sorry,
what was the question?
1045
00:41:16,507 --> 00:41:20,043
So I know we left the other day
on a note of uncertainty,
1046
00:41:20,045 --> 00:41:21,744
but after some more thought,
1047
00:41:21,746 --> 00:41:24,714
I'm very pleased to be able
to offer you this job.
1048
00:41:24,716 --> 00:41:26,816
Great.
1049
00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:28,551
I'm so glad.
1050
00:41:28,553 --> 00:41:30,553
We're all very excited
you're gonna be joining us.
1051
00:41:30,555 --> 00:41:32,522
It'll be nice to have
another MBA around here.
1052
00:41:32,524 --> 00:41:35,191
I'm excited too.
1053
00:41:35,193 --> 00:41:36,893
Okay.
1054
00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:39,562
Bye.
1055
00:41:39,564 --> 00:41:40,563
Who was that?
1056
00:41:40,565 --> 00:41:42,732
Nobody.
1057
00:41:42,734 --> 00:41:44,200
You and I are done.
1058
00:41:44,202 --> 00:41:46,269
What?!
69620
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.