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1
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:10,845
Come on,
come on, come on.
2
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,248
Leslie Knope.
Hey, Chris.
3
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:15,753
Wow, is that
a new jogging shirt?
4
00:00:15,815 --> 00:00:16,953
It is.
5
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,155
It's an experimental fabric
called Bumble-Flex.
6
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:20,758
It's made out of
synthetic bees' wings.
7
00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:21,855
It's cool.
8
00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:23,696
Anyway, you're not supposed to be here.
You're suspended.
9
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:24,827
I totally understand that.
10
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:26,427
I'm just going to
take my flash drive
11
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:27,631
and I'll do some
work from home.
12
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:31,164
N-O. You are specifically
prohibited from doing your job.
13
00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:32,437
Oh, I'm not
going to do my job.
14
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,809
I'm just going to oversee the
department and check in on the parks
15
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,678
and attend any meetings that are
required of the deputy director.
16
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:40,148
Leslie, go home and give
me the flash drive.
17
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:47,750
This is a nasal spray.
Give me the flash drive.
18
00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:49,592
Give me the nasal spray.
19
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,453
On three.
20
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:52,553
One...
Two.
21
00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:53,925
Two, three.
22
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,793
Okay, good. Now, in
two weeks, you can...
23
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:02,567
Leslie Knope! I am much faster than you!
I have Bumble-Flex!
24
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:24,920
It's so nice to be able
to sit here in public
25
00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,588
and have breakfast with you.
Yeah.
26
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,929
In away, my suspension from
work was kind of a blessing.
27
00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:32,401
Yeah, I feel the same way
about resigning in disgrace.
28
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,302
Totally. The key is you
have to keep yourself busy
29
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:35,862
or else you're going to go crazy.
Mmm-hmm.
30
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,340
I mean, look at me.
Look how busy I am.
31
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:42,709
I'm inventing a new spice called salger.
It's part salt, part sugar.
32
00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:44,648
What could that
possibly be good on?
33
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:45,739
Butterscotch pudding.
34
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:46,806
Fair enough.
35
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:49,114
Okay, I have to go to this
meeting with my advisors.
36
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:51,883
You have a big day, right?
Which interview is this?
37
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:55,586
It's a job doing in-house accounting
work for an accounting firm.
38
00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:57,558
So it could be
pretty interesting.
39
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,755
Yeah. Sounds interesting.
40
00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:01,355
You know. If I hadn't
resigned in disgrace,
41
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:03,560
I might never have
explored the private sector.
42
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:06,467
It's like, why didn't I resign
in disgrace 12 years ago?
43
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:09,896
You might want to stop saying
"resigned in disgrace."
44
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,303
Especially during job interviews.
Good call.
45
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:15,439
Leslie wishes she could
be here herself
46
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:16,537
to give you
these presents,
47
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,048
but she's suspended.
48
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:19,412
Oh, and, also,
she said that
49
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:20,712
they're not from her,
they're from Santa Claus.
50
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:22,309
Can I go first?
51
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,822
Mouse Rat. Certified gold!
52
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:32,330
Over 100 copies
sold in Pawnee.
53
00:02:32,852 --> 00:02:35,298
I need to get a picture of me
holding this, so I can frame it.
54
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:39,804
A personalized leopard-printed robe.
Pink feather cuffs.
55
00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:42,098
And on the back,
in rhinestones...
56
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,206
"You Can Get It."
57
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,709
"I know you're sad
you couldn't get tickets
58
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:47,176
"to the 'Watch
the Throne' tour,
59
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:51,044
"so I got you a watch
and a tiny throne instead."
60
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:52,308
And check it out.
She even took out
61
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:53,715
the dumb clock part
and put this in.
62
00:02:56,142 --> 00:03:00,022
These are the Black Eyed Peas.
And I finally killed them.
63
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,823
It's a Christmas miracle.
64
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:07,587
Every year, I give Leslie the
same present I give everyone.
65
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:09,793
A crisp $20 bill.
66
00:03:10,089 --> 00:03:14,629
And every year, she gets me
something thoughtful and personal.
67
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,837
It makes me furious.
68
00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:20,006
This year,
she outdid herself.
69
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,143
She had it installed
over the weekend.
70
00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:31,722
It's so...
It's so beautiful.
71
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,089
We need to get
Leslie something
72
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,388
that erases the enormous
emotional debt
73
00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:39,555
that has built up over years
of this gift-giving imbalance.
74
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:41,662
Everyone start
thinking of ideas.
75
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,261
Aw, jeez.
76
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:46,427
Socks. She gets me.
77
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:48,199
Hi, hi, hi, hi.
Sorry I'm late.
78
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:50,832
I was off getting holiday
gifts for my team.
79
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,377
William, here is a Knope
2012 tree ornament.
80
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:54,468
Hey.
81
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:59,574
And, Elizabeth, I got you
a Knope 2012 menorah?
82
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:01,175
Maybe?
No.
83
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,346
No. Okay. Then I got
you a tree ornament.
84
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,423
Okay. So let's talk
about damage control.
85
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:07,822
Now, I could go
on Pawnee Today.
86
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,861
But, and I know this is a long shot,
Oprah has her own network now.
87
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,055
Whoa, Leslie, slow down.
88
00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:14,223
The first step is for us to
figure out what we're up against.
89
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,164
- And we've already got polls out in the field.
Mmm-hmm.
90
00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:18,202
And we should have results
back in a couple of days.
91
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:21,636
Just stay out of the spotlight
until we can figure out just how
92
00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:23,901
this incident has
affected the voters.
93
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:26,034
Sit tight.
Take a beat, relax.
94
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,777
Sit tight?
Take a beat? Relax?
95
00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:31,906
I don't really do
any of those things.
96
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:33,382
In fact, while I was
in that meeting,
97
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,942
I was also planning my mother's
birthday party in my head.
98
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,186
Strawberry margaritas.
99
00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:40,688
Another use for salger.
100
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:45,924
Financial analysis. Automated
general ledger accounting systems.
101
00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:47,722
Audit management.
Yeah.
102
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,289
Hmm. You've done everything.
103
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,892
Well, they call me
"the Swiss Army accountant."
104
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:55,239
They don't call me that.
They should.
105
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:58,471
Well, look. I think
you'd be a great addition.
106
00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:00,909
Would you be willing to come
back to meet the division head?
107
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,343
Yes, absolutely.
108
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:04,143
We'll set that up.
Okay.
109
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:05,440
- Great.
- Thank you.
110
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:09,510
Well, calc-you-later.
111
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:17,091
Oh, you like that one?
112
00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:21,759
We do not get
a lot of humor here.
113
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,528
And when we do,
it's wonderful.
114
00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:25,626
Ted, come in here.
115
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,002
Say it to
Ted when he comes in.
116
00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:34,501
We could get Leslie some Marshmallow Fluff.
I have some right here.
117
00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:38,211
Correction, darling.
You had some right here.
118
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:39,443
Did you just scoop it
out of the jar
119
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,540
with your hand
like a bear?
120
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:44,085
Yes. I can't get it off.
Can you help me?
121
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,384
Behold.
My latest attempt
122
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:48,790
to drag this department
into the 20th century.
123
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,521
Tom, it's the 21st century.
124
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,824
I know. I'd settle for
getting you into the 20th.
125
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:57,432
I fed all of Leslie's e-mails,
letters, and memos into a program
126
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,868
and generated a word cloud.
127
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,633
This is how we
can get gift ideas.
128
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:04,368
The more she's mentioned a
word, the larger it appears.
129
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:07,434
Ben, and much larger Ann.
130
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,472
She definitely loves Ann.
Aw!
131
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,174
Okay, I have an idea.
132
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:15,117
I will build a small wooden
model of the Parks Department.
133
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,079
We can decorate our offices
as they are in real life.
134
00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:19,520
It will be
135
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:22,415
cute.
136
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:25,086
Wait. Better idea.
137
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:28,223
We make a gingerbread
version of the office.
138
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,060
That's so good!
139
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,262
A wood model is best.
140
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,135
And we can decorate our offices
with candy canes and gumdrops.
141
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,764
Oh, that would be
so adorable.
142
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:39,173
That's such a cute idea.
143
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,178
I have some great red birch
with a nice spalting.
144
00:06:42,301 --> 00:06:45,441
I already have some scale wainscoting.
145
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,109
Mmm! I love me a calzone.
146
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,343
Ben, I'm going crazy.
147
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,980
First, they won't let me work
at the Parks Department.
148
00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:53,580
Now they won't let me
campaign, either?
149
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:56,991
All I want to do is improve our town.
And they won't let me do that.
150
00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:59,359
You're putting an awful lot
of salger on your pasta.
151
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,261
This is just sugar. Okay, I
need you to distract me.
152
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,027
Talk to me about something.
Anything.
153
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:05,466
Well, that accounting firm is
going to make me a job offer.
154
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:06,663
Oh, yeah? That's great.
Yeah.
155
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,728
Are you going to take it?
Well, it pays well.
156
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,868
The commute is a little
long, but that's okay.
157
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,743
I didn't love the carpeting.
But I don't know.
158
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,850
You know what I think? If you
don't love it, take a month.
159
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,719
See what else
is out there.
160
00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:26,549
Yeah. And, you know, you can
still improve the city.
161
00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:29,283
You can't work right now
or run a campaign?
162
00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:30,691
Do it as
a private citizen.
163
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:33,253
Oh, my God. I'll form a
citizen action committee.
164
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:36,357
I'll lobby from the outside. I'll
harness the power of the community.
165
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:38,368
Oh, my God. I finally
have some work to do.
166
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:39,732
Thank you so much for
dinner, honey. Oh.
167
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:45,069
I can hear you breathing and,
yes, you can finish her pasta.
168
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,341
Thank God. I'm so hungry.
169
00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:52,776
Mmm! Tastes like
Fruit Loops.
170
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,317
Wow. Great turn-out.
171
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:59,185
Okay. Welcome, everyone,
to the first meeting
172
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:02,249
of the Parks Committee
of Pawnee, or PCP.
173
00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:05,461
Should we really be called PCP?
See, because...
174
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:08,089
Yes. Because,
like the drug PCP,
175
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:11,226
we are so fast-acting and
powerful, we should be illegal.
176
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:14,572
Now, what do you want to see
fixed in the parks? Yes.
177
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:16,436
I've noticed that
the White Hills hiking path
178
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,941
could really use
some upkeep.
179
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,773
I was thinking we organize
a letter writing campaign.
180
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:24,076
I know for a fact that nobody in the
Parks Department reads letters.
181
00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:29,243
Except for one person. Who is amazing,
but she isn't currently there,
182
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:32,185
because he was suspended.
183
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,952
How amazing can he be
if he got suspended?
184
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,357
Pretty damn amazing, Diane.
Now, shush.
185
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:37,689
If we want to get
the government
186
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,855
off their bloated
bureaucratic butts
187
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:41,523
then we need our
voices to be heard.
188
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:43,524
And that's what
we're going to do.
189
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:45,830
Clear eyes,
full hearts, can't lose.
190
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:47,566
Ron is making the model,
191
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,698
and then we're going to put
all of our candy decorations
192
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:51,264
in our corners
of the office.
193
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:52,707
Okay, so what did
everybody make?
194
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:56,372
- Boom! Rock 'n' Roll Candy Andy.
- Wow.
195
00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:59,476
That's really good, son. I didn't
do anything for my office.
196
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,050
That's okay
I took care of it.
197
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,210
I made a marshmallow
Ron Swanson.
198
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:06,384
See? His arms are crossed,
199
00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:07,617
because he's mad
at all the other
200
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,250
marshmallow workers
for annoying him.
201
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:11,350
Do you like it?
202
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:12,521
It's fine.
203
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:15,699
When I was trying to decide
how to decorate my office,
204
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:19,134
I had to ask myself, "What kind
of candy should I choose?"
205
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:21,102
Obviously, chocolate.
Because I'm sweet,
206
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,901
smooth, and
the ladies love me.
207
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:26,306
Now, the question still remained.
"What kind of chocolate am I?"
208
00:09:26,465 --> 00:09:28,411
Do I have a little
gooey caramel center?
209
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,640
Am I filled with
little Rice Krispies?
210
00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:33,379
Maybe I'm white chocolate and I'm
bucking all the stereotypes.
211
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:34,713
Oh, just put
your damn candy out.
212
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:39,120
Ultimately, I decided to go
with a little gourmet fudge.
213
00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:40,657
I didn't have time to
make it into anything.
214
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:43,091
And please don't eat it,
because it cost $55 an ounce.
215
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:46,553
Sol made my desk
out of silver M&Ms.
216
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:49,895
But they do not make silver M&Ms.
So I spray painted them.
217
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:52,129
Okay. Those are poisonous.
So no one eat them.
218
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,429
Yeah, duh.
219
00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:54,698
Go throw up.
220
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,330
I didn't eat any.
Go throw up.
221
00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:57,703
Throw up.
222
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,107
Ben Wyatt.
Hi.
223
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,440
Great to meet you.
You, too.
224
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:02,979
I'm this.
225
00:10:04,236 --> 00:10:06,682
Well, thank you for meeting
with me, Mr. Feinstein.
226
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:08,776
Please. Call me
Dennis Feinstein.
227
00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:10,581
I'm going to cut
right to the chase, Ben.
228
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:12,281
This cologne company
is my life's work.
229
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:15,082
Why should I trust you
with my perfumery?
230
00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:18,890
Well, I've been in government
accounting for more than a decade.
231
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,158
And I just think
it's time for a change.
232
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:23,927
Listen. Ben, I'm going to cut right
to the chase. Okay? I like you.
233
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:27,164
I've always liked you.
But I also like Eddie.
234
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,671
Eddie... Who's Eddie?
235
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,106
Eddie's my current CFO.
236
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:34,571
But I might fire him
and hire you.
237
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,678
You got kids?
No.
238
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,771
That's good. Dum-dum
Eddie has two kids.
239
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,975
Oh, God.
Don't fire Eddie.
240
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,781
Why would you have him in
here in this interview?
241
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,879
Eddie, I am sorry. I...
Don't talk to Eddie.
242
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:48,857
Treat him like you would treat
a person in another country
243
00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:51,895
that you paid
$25,000 to hunt.
244
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,298
What are you talking about?
What am I talking about?
245
00:10:54,353 --> 00:10:55,923
I'm talking about the
best vacation of my life.
246
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,467
Oh, my God.
Look, I'm sorry.
247
00:10:57,523 --> 00:11:00,436
I thought I wanted to branch
out a little, career-wise.
248
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:01,766
But that was a mistake.
249
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:05,036
So keep Eddie.
I do not want this job.
250
00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:07,734
Hah! You're crazy, man.
251
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,177
We'll be in touch.
252
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,476
Okay. Are there
any more recommendations
253
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:13,141
for new games at
the Rec center?
254
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:15,207
My daughter, she loves
Chutes and Ladders.
255
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,446
Oh, come on.
256
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,923
There is no strategy to Chutes and Ladders.
It's just luck.
257
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:22,421
My daughter is five.
258
00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:25,428
Well, your daughter is an idiot.
Her daughter is an idiot.
259
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,020
Her daughter is an idiot.
260
00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:28,997
No. No, no. No. No, she's not.
261
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:32,499
Hello. I am Leslie Knope,
and I represent the PCP.
262
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,170
We have a list of six demands. Here
they are in alphabetical order.
263
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:39,903
Number one. Ants. Too many
ants in the teen center.
264
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,706
Number two.
Tennis court improvements.
265
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:42,837
Number three. Undue...
266
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,347
Well, ma'am.
267
00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:47,384
This public forum, it is
just about improvements
268
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,714
that we can make
to the Rec Center.
269
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,721
Speaking of which. The fact that
Yahtzee is not in the Rec Center
270
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:54,724
is a tragedy on par
with human trafficking.
271
00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:59,224
Slight exaggeration. Getting
back to our demands.
272
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,822
We will not be muzzled
like a rabid dog.
273
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,833
We are going to take this
all the way to the top.
274
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,268
Okay. We have made
some waves here, people.
275
00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:08,999
But we need to keep
this momentum going.
276
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,667
Now, the City Manager's name
is Chris Traeger.
277
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,801
I want to take
this fight to him.
278
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:14,606
Ohhh! A letter writing
campaign.
279
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:17,610
God, Diane. Would you stop it with
the letter writing campaigns? No.
280
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:18,808
I have his office number.
281
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:21,477
I want one of you calling
it every 15 minutes.
282
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,918
We are also going to protest
along his jogging route.
283
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:26,320
And I need someone
in every GNC
284
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,324
within a 5-mile radius
of the city center.
285
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:29,518
But there are
only 12 of us.
286
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,652
Thirteen.
287
00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:32,286
Look.
Our numbers are growing.
288
00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:34,627
There's nothing we can't do
if we work hard, never sleep,
289
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:36,598
and shirk all other
responsibilities in our lives.
290
00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:38,225
- You with me?
- Yes.
291
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:51,974
I can hand-craft 17-foot canoes
out of Western Red Cedar,
292
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:54,813
but I can't glue two damn
graham crackers together.
293
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:58,344
Look. It's really easy.
I know a lot about candy.
294
00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:03,456
I play with it. I eat it. Sometimes,
I play with it and eat it. Boom!
295
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:08,230
Okay. New plan. Everyone
else makes this candy house,
296
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,790
and I make myself
useful elsewhere.
297
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,070
Your 11:00 is here.
298
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,969
Concerned citizen and community
leader, Leslie Knope.
299
00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:17,439
Nice to meet you.
Hi, Leslie.
300
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:18,736
You're not
supposed to be here.
301
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,368
As a government employee,
that's true.
302
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:23,641
But I am just here as a concerned
citizen and founder of PCP.
303
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,013
The Parks Committee
of Pawnee?
304
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:27,775
Those are the people
that have been harassing me.
305
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:28,875
We have many demands.
306
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:31,012
Specifically, these six
unfunded projects
307
00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:32,612
that need to be
dealt with immediately.
308
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,119
Well...
Not good enough.
309
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:37,457
Leslie. Out of respect for you,
I will meet with your group.
310
00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:39,994
But I hope that this puts
an end to the madness.
311
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:41,765
Prepare for battle.
312
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,889
Oh, I forgot to tell you I
got your Christmas present.
313
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:46,527
It's, like, a little stopwatch
that records your jogging times
314
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:48,469
and then sends it to your
computer via Bluetooth.
315
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:49,733
Ah!
316
00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:51,297
That is so thoughtful.
317
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:54,102
My pleasure.
See you in hell.
318
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,812
Well, I see you've taken
our advice about relaxing.
319
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:02,182
Oh, this is just a little militant
citizen group I slapped together.
320
00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:04,385
But enough about me. What
are my polling results?
321
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:07,385
Well, before the scandal,
you were at 26%.
322
00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:09,191
Now, we knew
we'd take a hit.
323
00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:11,454
But we figured as long as
we're at 15% or above,
324
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,655
we're still in the fight.
325
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:16,263
And we're at 15%? We went
back to 26% percent?
326
00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:18,427
Whoa. Wait. 50%?
327
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,534
We're at one.
328
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,402
One hundred?
329
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,197
You're polling at 1%.
330
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:26,276
What? No.
That can't be right.
331
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,145
Okay. Well, what we do
is we move forward from this.
332
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:30,942
How do we put
a positive spin on this?
333
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,311
There's no way
to spin this.
334
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:35,477
Sure there is. You're looking at
the glass like it's 99% empty.
335
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,281
I'm looking at it
like it's 1% full.
336
00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:40,347
You know, the last delicious
sip of a milkshake
337
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,624
at the bottom of
the metal milkshakey thing?
338
00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:45,159
It's very hard to come back
from this kind of thing.
339
00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:46,792
You know, a sex scandal
with your boss.
340
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,025
Oh, like you're
so pure and chaste.
341
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,825
Please. I know the two of
you are sleeping together.
342
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:55,905
It's obvious. With all your
glances and your sly smiles.
343
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:57,030
I'm gay.
344
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,097
Well, never mind, then.
345
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,844
It's a small town.
There's nowhere to hide.
346
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,674
We can't run your
campaign anymore.
347
00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:08,812
I'm sorry, Leslie. You were a
great candidate, but it's over.
348
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,459
Could you maybe
find new advisors?
349
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:18,426
I can't. I talked to
everyone in the entire state
350
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,724
who's ever run
a campaign.
351
00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:21,958
Nobody wants a candidate
who's polling
352
00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:24,126
at "last milkshake
sip levels."
353
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,165
Can I say something?
This sucks.
354
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:28,000
I am not going to convince
you that it doesn't,
355
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,904
and you can tell me every day for the
next year about how much this sucks.
356
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,840
One year. You said one year.
That's on the record.
357
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:33,899
And I meant it.
358
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,773
But, eventually,
this will pass.
359
00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:37,939
You're going to
get through this.
360
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:40,005
I don't know
if I'm going to.
361
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:43,315
I mean, look, I return
to my old job in a week.
362
00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:45,252
And that's great, because
I love my old job.
363
00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:49,292
But my heart was
really set on this new job.
364
00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,525
Ann...
365
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,597
Don't touch my pickles, Ann.
366
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:00,364
UP. up. up. up. UP!
Jason!
367
00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:01,861
Oh, my God.
368
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:03,304
Yeah, I know,
I know, I know.
369
00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:05,000
Hey, Jean-Ralphio.
How's it going?
370
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:07,544
It's going good. I'm actually
right here for an appointment.
371
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,668
Getting a Brazilian.
372
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:11,510
By the way, there is a woman
over there that is unbelievable.
373
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:14,073
Her name is Kim. When she
rips it off, she smiles.
374
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,748
And it makes you
feel things.
375
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,118
Throw my name, I get a referral
discount, if you don't mind.
376
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:19,313
Okay.
377
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:21,255
I heard somebody
resigned in disgrace.
378
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:24,556
My question to you is,
how you making that paper?
379
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:25,959
Well, I've
interviewed around.
380
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,656
But I'm actually
about to take a job
381
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,722
doing in-house accounting
for an accounting firm.
382
00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:32,769
Gosh. I almost fell asleep
during that sentence.
383
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:33,895
Okay.
Let me get this straight.
384
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:37,998
You would be an accountant
for accountants.
385
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,167
Yeah.
386
00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:42,075
So at this accounting firm,
you would have the boring job.
387
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:43,769
Are you nuts?
388
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,509
This is probably the first
time you've had off
389
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:46,641
since you've been
kid president.
390
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:48,446
True or false? True.
Mayor.
391
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:51,418
Why don't you use that time and
go after one of your passions?
392
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:54,287
Like model trains or like
toy Gandalfs or something.
393
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:57,183
I don't know why you'd jump
straight to model trains.
394
00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:59,422
I mean, it's accurate.
395
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:00,930
I'm going to tell you
something that I once heard
396
00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:03,592
from a very, very
smart woman named Kim.
397
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:05,935
The lady who waxes you?
398
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:10,201
She told me, "If you don't love
what you do, then why do it?"
399
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,337
Then she ripped
the hair from my B-hole.
400
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,210
Ron filled me in on
everything that happened.
401
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:20,614
And I really wish that the ethics
investigation hadn't interfered
402
00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:21,946
with your campaign
in any way.
403
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,486
You don't have to apologize.
404
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:27,080
You were very fair. In fact, I'm
the one that needs to apologize.
405
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:30,354
I got you involved in PCP.
406
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:35,121
But I'm starting a new group now.
LSD. Leslie's Sorry Division.
407
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,199
And I just want to say
I'm sorry, Chris.
408
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:40,430
Oh. That's nice
of you to say.
409
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,836
Anyway. Now, for
your Christmas present.
410
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:53,113
Your suspension has been lifted.
Please come back to work.
411
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:55,147
Thank you.
412
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,351
Hey. What are you
doing here?
413
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:02,722
Hey. I just wanted to tell
you something in person.
414
00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:05,453
Oh, my God.
I'm pregnant. Wait.
415
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,564
What? No, that's not it.
416
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,734
I turned down
that accounting job.
417
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:13,397
It just didn't feel right.
That's okay, right?
418
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,097
Yeah. I think that's great.
419
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,472
I'm really proud of you.
Yeah?
420
00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:19,702
What are you
going to do instead?
421
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:20,835
I have no idea.
422
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:23,004
I like it.
423
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:24,138
Yeah. Okay.
424
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:25,477
Well, I guess
I'll just see you at home.
425
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:26,948
Well, they're having
a party in here.
426
00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:28,348
Why don't you stay?
427
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,580
Actually, I think
you should go in alone.
428
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,160
What's going on here?
429
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,995
Merry Christmas, Leslie.
430
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:46,298
We made you this replica of the Parks
Department out of gingerbread.
431
00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:50,738
Oh, my God. I love it.
I love it and I love you guys.
432
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,002
And Ann, specifically.
And all of you.
433
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,278
You did all of this together?
434
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,245
Yes. Except for me.
435
00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:00,778
It turns out I cannot make
a gingerbread house.
436
00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:03,486
Which would bother me if I
were an eight-year-old girl.
437
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:07,520
In any case, these people
stepped up and helped me out.
438
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:09,555
And that gave me
another idea.
439
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,464
This is the city
council chambers.
440
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,625
And that's you, next May.
441
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:18,461
I don't understand.
442
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:22,533
Your campaign advisors quit.
Big deal.
443
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:25,334
You're running for city council
again, Leslie. With our help.
444
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:32,037
April Ludgate. Youth Outreach
and Director of New Media.
445
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:35,375
Tom Haverford. Image Consultant.
Swagger Coach.
446
00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:38,653
Ann Perkins. Office Manager
and Volunteer Coordinator.
447
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,852
Andy Dwyer.
Security. Sweets.
448
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,827
Body Man.
Javelin, if need be.
449
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:48,921
Donna Meagle. Transpo,
AKA rides in my Benz.
450
00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:53,929
What? You guys didn't tell
me we were doing this.
451
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,565
I did not know that
I was supposed to
452
00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:56,765
come up with something.
I...
453
00:19:57,062 --> 00:19:58,507
Ron Swanson.
454
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:00,974
Any other damn thing
you might need.
455
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:07,080
Guys, it's so much work. I can't
ask you to put your lives on hold.
456
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:10,947
Find one person here who you haven't
helped by putting your life on hold.
457
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,886
I don't know what to say.
458
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:19,324
Except...
459
00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:21,996
Let's go win an election.
460
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:28,064
Giving Christmas gifts
is like a sport to me.
461
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:31,634
Finding or making
that perfect something,
462
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,307
it's also like a sport to me
because I always win.
463
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,340
This year, though,
my friends won.
464
00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:40,381
In fact, I got my
ass handed to me.
465
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:44,944
Welcome, Mr. Saperstein.
466
00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:46,114
Thanks so much.
467
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:47,518
I will just show you
to your cubicle.
468
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,115
I can't wait. I bet it's
a big one, huh, Barney?
469
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:53,527
The temp agency said that you are
fluent with QuickBooks Pro, correct?
470
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:54,962
Oh, right. Yeah,
we should cover that.
471
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:58,160
You see, my resume might not
actually be accurate, right?
472
00:20:58,223 --> 00:20:59,566
Sol have no idea what
you're talking about.
473
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:00,933
Don't know what
QuickBooks are.
474
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:03,873
You don't have any
accounting experience?
475
00:21:03,962 --> 00:21:05,066
No, no, no, no.
Barney, come on.
476
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:07,269
But you don't have
to be an accountant
477
00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:09,403
to know that
this girl is a 10.
478
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:10,738
Yo, what up, D.S.?
479
00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:12,679
You come here often?
To my job?
480
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,681
Oh! She's got a mouth on her, also.
Shut it.
481
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,014
Is this the new temp
who's supposed
482
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:17,280
to help me with
the spreadsheets?
483
00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:18,616
If you want to talk
about spreading and sheets,
484
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,953
we can go back to my place
and I will rock your...
485
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,117
You're fired.
486
00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:24,217
That makes sense. So I just go
out the same way I came in?38257
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