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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 2 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,607 Yeah, I'll go put him to bed. 3 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:11,038 R. Kelly always does the trick. 4 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,167 I think Evan may be developing a rash. 5 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,498 You know, when you rub the Aquaphor on his tush, 6 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,080 you can't just put it on his cheeks, 7 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,256 you have to rub it all over the anus, too. 8 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,333 All over the anus, got it. 9 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,050 I think I'm going to take a bath, okay? 10 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,886 Okay, babe. Go for it. 11 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,537 Not this time. 12 00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:01,372 Okay, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Okay. 13 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,713 Yep. 14 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,802 Oh, yeah, you like it nasty, don't you? 15 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,385 Oh, I do. I do, I'm sorry. Guilty as charged. 16 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,603 God, you're so big, it hurts. 17 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,605 I know, I can't help it. 18 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:19,936 Oh, yeah! 19 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,224 Give it to me, daddy. Oh, yeah. 20 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,776 Give it to me, daddy. Give it to me... Oh, yeah. 21 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,186 Daddy? 22 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,024 Evan! What the... 23 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,567 You're opening doors now? How did... 24 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,868 I saw a monster. A what? 25 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,745 Stick your finger in my asshole. 26 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,951 God. 27 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,205 Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah! 28 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,533 Come on, come on, come on. Fuck, yeah! 29 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,417 I want you to come all over my... 30 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,578 Oh, my God! 31 00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,421 Evan, don't touch that! 32 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:48,836 Don't... 33 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,759 Daddy, boo-boo. 34 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,761 What the... 35 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,847 Oh, my God. 36 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,553 Okay, don't move. Stay here. 37 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,388 Daddy needs a Band-Aid. 38 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,439 Michelle? 39 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,438 Do you... 40 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,071 Mommy, Daddy, are you okay? 41 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,568 Jim Levenstein. 42 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,988 They still haven't gotten you an assistant yet, huh? 43 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,775 Kev, I'm sorry, I've been meaning to call you back. 44 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,614 I've just been... Busy? 45 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,993 I get it. 46 00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,655 Look, I'll make this quick, okay? 47 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,828 The reunion, you in? 48 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,789 Hold on, is that really happening? 49 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,328 Yeah, man, check your Facebook. 50 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,246 Look, I know they missed the ten-year by a couple, 51 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,832 but, you know, seems like people are actually going. 52 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,176 Hey, hon. Hey! 53 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,299 Mmm. Dinner smells great. 54 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,429 Hey, Ellie. 55 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,505 Hey, Jim. 56 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,682 Ooh, Bachelorette finale later. 57 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,810 And don't forget, we still have to watch Real Housewives. 58 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,017 Yeah, how could I forget? 59 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,148 Hey, Kev, you know who my favorite housewife is? 60 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,313 You. 61 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,693 Very funny. 62 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:33,028 Look, I love my wife, but I need a weekend with the guys. 63 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,239 Come on, we'll go a few days early. No Stifler this time. 64 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:39,029 Just you, me, Oz and Finch. 65 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,823 Yeah, well, good luck with that. 66 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,663 I heard Finch's mom doesn't even know where he is. 67 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,917 And what about Oz? 68 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:48,338 I mean, do you really think he would come with all he has going on? 69 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,884 And we're back here on Sports View, 70 00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,388 with my special guest, Chad Ochocinco. 71 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,178 Chad, which college football powerhouse 72 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,098 is gonna have the most players drafted in this year's draft? 73 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,188 I'm gonna have to go with my alma mater, the Oregon State. 74 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,571 Come on, man! What are you smoking, Ocho? 75 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,481 You think I don't know what I'm talking about? 76 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,737 Do me a favor, take a look at the tape. 77 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,073 Hey, babe, I'm home! 78 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,581 And that wraps it up for my special guest, Chad Ochocinco. 79 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:27,415 This is Chris Ostreicher reminding you to play on, plava! 80 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,050 Hey, Mia? 81 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,843 Oh, my gosh! So funny. 82 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,972 Oh, hey, baby! 83 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,603 Hi! 84 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,642 I was just watching your show a minute ago. 85 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,772 Oh, yeah? 86 00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,027 Is everything okay? 87 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,939 You tell me. You're in the hot tub with another dude. 88 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,449 You are worried about Deshaun? 89 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,776 Aw, that is so cute! 90 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,913 Deshaun's the interior decorator I told you about. 91 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,539 Hey, Christopher! 92 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,951 Strip down! Come join us. 93 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,420 Maybe next time, Deshaun. 94 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,922 I still don't get why we need an interior decorator. 95 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,213 Because the place needs to look perfect for the InStyle shoot. 96 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,972 Babe, trust me. 97 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,509 Remember how you didn't wanna go on Celebrity Dance Off at first? 98 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,893 Now think of all the fans you have. 99 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:30,728 Oh! I almost forgot, Mario Lopez is having a Memorial Day party. 100 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,726 I told him we're in. 101 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:36,564 Actually, I was thinking about going 102 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,069 to my high school reunion that weekend. 103 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,949 Well, if you're going, I'm going, too. 104 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,783 Really? Yeah. 105 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:45,947 All right. 106 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,375 Mia, love, phone call. It's Rumer. 107 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,293 Oh, shit, let me talk to her. 108 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,751 What's with you jacking my style, bitch? 109 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,629 Anything I can get for you, Christopher? 110 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,013 Uh... 111 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:21,321 Morning, co-workers and cock-jerkers! 112 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,280 Reggie, give me some love. 113 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,953 Looking good, Stifler. 114 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,781 Ladies, better be working hard, 115 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,286 you weren't hired for your looks. 116 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,039 Actually, you were. 117 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,665 Not you. 118 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,959 Seriously? 119 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,089 Bob, what are you doing here? 120 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,420 Don't you know they fired your ass? 121 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,595 What? 122 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,514 I'm just fucking with you. 123 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,799 Or am I? 124 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,600 Hey! 125 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,730 Coffee for the pretty lady? 126 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,686 Sure, thanks. 127 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,816 Let me know if you want some creamer with that. 128 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,905 Hello, you. How are you? 129 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,593 "Oh, I'm good, Stifmeister, 'cause you know what? 130 00:08:06,594 --> 00:08:08,117 'Cause you're the best." 131 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,494 "Oh, I am the best." "Yes, you are the..." 132 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,786 "You know, I love you so much that I'm going to just have some fun down here." 133 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,285 "Oh, yeah, yeah..." 134 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,664 What the hell are you doing? Jesus Christ! 135 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,043 Shit, sorry, Mr. Duraiswamy It's... I was just... 136 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,168 Huh? That's good, it's all clean. 137 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,005 I told you to print out the morning numbers and put them on my desk, 138 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,635 and you're making yourself at home? 139 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,554 No, I just thought... "I just thought..." 140 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,102 I don't pay you to think. You are a temp. 141 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,432 Yeah, about that. I feel like I'm being way underutilized here. 142 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,854 Oh, you do, do you? 143 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,935 Thank you for telling me how you feel. 144 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,729 Do you mind if I tell you how I feel? 145 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:44,942 I feel the sooner you realize that you're the bitch, 146 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,027 not the boss, 147 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,410 the better off you will be. 148 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,832 Fucker. What was that? 149 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,117 Nothing! 150 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,419 Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy. 151 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,254 Fucker! 152 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,178 You know, we still haven't discussed the whole 153 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,558 bathtub incident. 154 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,728 Huh? Oh, that? That's... 155 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,060 That“ Don't worry about that. 156 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,980 Well, I mean, you know, obviously, 157 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,688 I would prefer it if I was the one 158 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,024 that made you feel that way, but... 159 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,692 I know how you feel. 160 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,863 Every time I want to shop online and I start typing "Amazon," 161 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:35,535 "amazingcollegesluts.com" pops up. 162 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,457 Amazing what? 163 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,915 Okay, look, obviously 164 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,596 we need to have more fun together. 165 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,552 I promise you, this weekend, 166 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:54,060 there is going to be plenty of Jim and Michelle time, okay? 167 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:02,985 Hey! 168 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,108 Hello, sweetheart. 169 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,530 How are you? Oh! 170 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,240 It's so good to see you. - Hey, Dad. 171 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,113 Hello, son! Come here. 172 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,695 Hi! Hi! 173 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,746 Oh, no! Look who that is! 174 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:17,452 Look at this big bruiser! Oh, my goodness! 175 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,211 He has grown. - Look at him! Huh? 176 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,794 Someone's got a little poopy diaper. 177 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,031 Jim? 178 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,542 I can't believe it's you. 179 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,878 You don't remember me, do you? 180 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,379 Uh... Remember Teletubby Tuesdays? 181 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,923 Kara? 182 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,762 Oh, my God. 183 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:19,434 What? You're not a kid any more. 184 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,065 It's been a long time since I needed a babysitter. 185 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:26,103 I can't believe how much you've grown up. 186 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,316 Thanks! 187 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,397 It's actually my 18th birthday tomorrow. 188 00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,565 Eighteen, wow. 189 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,237 You should come to my party. 190 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,318 Oh, uh... 191 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,571 Thank you, no. I... Yeah, that might be difficult. 192 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,530 Please, I want you to come so bad. 193 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,126 Hey, Kara! We gotta go. 194 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,454 Okay, relax. 195 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,377 That's AJ. Don't ask. 196 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,542 Hopefully I will see you tomorrow. 197 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,133 What? - Who the fuck was that? 198 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,881 Hey, sweetie. 199 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,965 Hey. 200 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,224 Who were you talking to? 201 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,803 That was just the kid next door. 202 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,629 Hello, my old friends. 203 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,015 I thought about throwing them out, 204 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,432 but they just have too much sentimental value. 205 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,641 Yeah. 206 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,266 Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim. 207 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,363 You know, I can remember when you were just a little guy. 208 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,445 And now you've got your own little guy. 209 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,608 I know. 210 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,411 And before you know it, he's gonna be a teenager... 211 00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,612 Wow. 212 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,121 And you'll be teaching him about masturbation 213 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,786 and, you know, all the do's and all the don'ts 214 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,211 that have to do with the little guy's weenie. 215 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,288 Right? Okay? 216 00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,124 Hopefully, it'll be more of a bratwurst by the time he's a teenager... 217 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,424 Okay, Dad, I get it. ...but I'm just... 218 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,002 Well, these are things you're gonna have to deal with. 219 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,758 I understand. It's just, you know, he's two. 220 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,680 Well, yeah, maybe you've got time, but.. 221 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,725 So, you know, I just, I'd rather not talk about his penis. 222 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,928 How you doing, Dad? I'm good. 223 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:26,106 Yeah? What are you doing for fun? You seen any movies lately? 224 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,897 Well, you know, your mother and I did go to a lot of movies. 225 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,645 Well... 226 00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:38,243 You know, it has been three years since she passed, Dad. 227 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,571 There's gotta be someone in town you can see a movie with. 228 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:45,033 I have you now. We'll see a movie tonight, you and me. 229 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,085 Tonight? 230 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,878 Well, I made plans with the guys, 231 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,671 to meet up with them tonight at the bar... Oh. 232 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:51,919 But... Yeah, yeah... 233 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,672 But I don't need to do that. I can do that tomorrow. 234 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,425 No. No, no, no, no. This is why you're in town, isn't it? 235 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,840 No, no, no. You go. I'll be fine. 236 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,141 I was just planning on staying in tonight 237 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,934 and, you know, doing a little reading. 238 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,433 Oh, not this. No. No. 239 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:15,610 Although, I do remember reading a very interesting article 240 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,616 on something Brazilian. 241 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,200 Boy, these pages are all stuck together here. 242 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,911 I got it. 243 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,625 Kev. 244 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,589 Hey! 245 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,801 What's up, man? Jim. 246 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,136 Hey, guys! 247 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,758 Oz. There he is. 248 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:44,888 You made it. 249 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,846 Hey, I missed your wedding, I wasn't gonna miss this. 250 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,643 Hey, buddy. What's up, pal? 251 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,479 Good to see you. Yeah, man. 252 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,143 Hey, Kev! 253 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,523 Looking good, look at you! 254 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,400 Oh, stop it. Come on. 255 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,163 Gentlemen. 256 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,291 Finch? Finch! 257 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,421 Oh, my God! It great to see you, James. 258 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,467 Changed at all, Jim. 259 00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,544 Good to see you, pal. 260 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,674 I didn't think you were gonna make it. 261 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,754 Finch, how are you, man? 262 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:26,761 So, after my troubles in Beijing, I just moved to Dubai, 263 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,100 and then I got all caught up in the world of underground baccarat. 264 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,563 Spent the rest of '09 living with this African tribe. 265 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,815 Oh, they made me an honorary tribesman. 266 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:37,937 Oh. 267 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,359 Whoa, that looks like it hurt. 268 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,524 It looks like that because it did hurt, Kevin. 269 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,696 Since then, I've just been biking through South America. 270 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,786 So, basically, you are the most interesting man in the world. 271 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,038 Yeah. Let me guess, 272 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,662 you guys are here for the reunion, huh? 273 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,830 You got it. Class of '99. 274 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,544 Haven I seen you before? 275 00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,801 Yeah, I'm on TV. 276 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,337 No, not you. You. 277 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,888 'Cause, your face, you're just so familiar. 278 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,644 Yeah! Yeah, this is you, right? 279 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,643 Oh! Man, Nadia! 280 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,191 More, more, you bad boy! 281 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,477 I swear I had these all taken down. How did you... 282 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,654 Oh, yeah. How many times did you pre-ejaculate again? 283 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,197 Oh, leave him alone. 284 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,359 I bet you were all desperate virgins back then. 285 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,242 Selena Vega. 286 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,663 That's Selena Vega in front of us. Wait, wait, wait, Selena... 287 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,744 Hold on, Michelle's friend from band? 288 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,828 You got it. 289 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,710 Oh, my God. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. 290 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,215 You look 291 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,666 different. 292 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,670 Well, next round's on me, okay, guys? 293 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,843 Hey, that chick was in band? 294 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,434 This is the first long weekend I have had in a while 295 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,761 so I wanna make it count. 296 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:54,056 I want the place spotless, and I want it filled with booze. 297 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,145 And I wanna make sure you're not around on Sunday night, 298 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,192 'cause I plan on bringing some ass back from the reunion, 299 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,861 and I wanna tap that without you there. You got it? 300 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,274 You know, first of all, Steven, it's my house. 301 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,067 You're lucky I'm letting you stay here. 302 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,361 Look, you wanted me to get a job, so I got one. 303 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,201 At least let me have the house for the weekend. 304 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,616 My house, my rules. 305 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,080 And as for tonight, if you don't wanna risk coming home 306 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,870 and seeing more of your mother than you'd like, 307 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,710 I suggest you stay out late. 308 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,000 Gross. 309 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,306 That was really... 310 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,682 Hey, bar wench, can I get a Budweiser? 311 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,471 Beer down. 312 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,359 What the fuck are you fuckers doing here? 313 00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,031 You made it! Made what? 314 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,157 What are you talking about? 315 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,243 What do you mean? We sent you an e-mail 316 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,125 about getting together a couple of days before the reunion. 317 00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,209 You know what? I must have put two F's in "Stifmeister." 318 00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,793 What? KEVIN: I'm sorry. 319 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,008 Two F's? You dumbass! 320 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,384 Kev! 321 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,340 Hey, Kevin, is that a pussy on your face? 322 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,801 Oh, come on! 323 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,685 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 324 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,886 Nice. 325 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,643 So, Stifler, you're looking sharp. 326 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,144 What are you up to these days? 327 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,601 I work at JBH Global. 328 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,686 Wow! That's a big-time firm. 329 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:24,937 What do you do over there? 330 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,189 Oh, you know, 331 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,366 investment stuff. 332 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,203 People wonder why our financial system's falling apart. 333 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,327 Nice scarf. I see you finally came out of the closet. 334 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,036 How is your mother, Stifler? 335 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,917 You stay away from my mom, shitbreak. 336 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,579 Okay, boys, the past is the past. 337 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,289 We can bury the hatchet here, huh? 338 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,045 Yeah, fuck it. 339 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,960 Hey, short-shorts! A round of Jägerbombs for me and my boys! 340 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,470 Go fuck yourself, Stifler. 341 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,011 How the hell does she know my name? 342 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,055 Lard Arms? 343 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,306 Jesus, Stifler. 344 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,354 Talk about an ugly duckling turning into a swan, right? 345 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,350 Let me see that. 346 00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:08,774 Oh! Fingered her, hairy nips, huge boobs. 347 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,443 Oh. 348 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,619 There she is! 349 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,738 The créme de my cock. 350 00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,573 Blowjob Lipstein. 351 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,082 Her given name was Loni, Stifler. 352 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,962 She used to call me Big Stiffy. 353 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,963 She was the mouth that got away. 354 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,172 Last call! 355 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,464 Already? Wait here, guys. 356 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,933 Oh! Man, the Senior Wish List. 357 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,060 Wish List? I don't remember that. 358 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,854 Oh, yeah, man. It's that cheesy page in the yearbook 359 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,058 where we all had to write wishes about our future. 360 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,019 What, did you write something cheesy? Let's see. 361 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:50,941 "Chris Ostreicher. Hopes to coach his son's lacrosse team." 362 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,242 Oh! Isn't that the sweetest thing? 363 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,534 Well, 364 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,742 I guess I thought I'd have a family by now. 365 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,119 All right, you wanna hear what you wrote, Finch? 366 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,290 I do. 367 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:04,249 "Paul Finch hopes to find le grand amour." 368 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,539 Yes, true love. 369 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:11,256 Alas, I have yet to find what you would call a real relationship. 370 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,047 Right, because banging Stifler's mom didn't count. 371 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,262 All right, let's see what you got, Kev. 372 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,850 "Kevin Myers. Hopes to still be living it up" 373 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,106 "with the amazing Vicky Lathum." 374 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,562 Oh, man! Vicky! What? 375 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,023 I am sure your wife would be very happy to read that. 376 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,938 What? I was dating Vicky at the time. 377 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,447 Let me see what I put. 378 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,902 "Jim Levenstein" 379 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,086 "hopes to have the sex life of Ricky Martin." 380 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,917 So, I'm assuming you didn't know he was gay back then. 381 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,672 Jim, it's a good thing you found a woman 382 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,595 with the sex drive of a dozen groupies. Hmm? 383 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,006 I mean, you're probably having more sex than any of us. 384 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,350 Probably, you know. 385 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,513 Hope you guys are thirsty. Stifler Claus is here. 386 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,273 Whoa! Stifler, that's a little too much, don't you think? 387 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,526 Dude, find your balls and return them to your sack. 388 00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,690 I say we keep this party going. 389 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,693 I say we make this weekend our bitch. 390 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,325 We could party together, do all the same shit that we used to do together. 391 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,827 It'll be just like old times. 392 00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,659 Hell yes! That's why I'm here. 393 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,324 No Bachelorette, no Real Housewives. 394 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:27,041 Thing is, you only get one chance at your 13th reunion. 395 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,583 I was kind of hoping to spend a little time with the wife. 396 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,709 Fuck! Dude! 397 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,171 James? What? Come on! 398 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,014 I mean, I'm in. Of course I'm in. Come on, what? 399 00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,174 Yeah! Yeah. 400 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,932 Then, gentlemen, I hope you're all wearing protection, 401 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,142 because this weekend, we're gonna fuck shit up! 402 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:47,978 - Cheers! - Yeah! All right! 403 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,626 What the fuck? 404 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,174 Holy shit. 405 00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,676 Hey! 406 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,261 Hi. 407 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,683 What happened? 408 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,435 I don't really remember. 409 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:32,522 I blame you. How much did you let him drink last night? 410 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,404 Honestly, not that much. 411 00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:38,783 Well, we gotta clean this up before we go to the lake. 412 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:42,036 What? The lake? 413 00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:45,285 Yeah, the lake, dude. It was your idea. 414 00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:48,000 We discussed all this last night. 415 00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,377 Oh, the lake! Yes, of course, the... 416 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,755 Hey, Jim, can you hand me those paper towels, please? 417 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,469 Oh, those paper towels? The paper ones. 418 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:00,553 Uh... 419 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,390 The paper towels, Jim. 420 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:05,471 Jim! Yeah... 421 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,019 The paper towels! 422 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,478 I'm really sorry. 423 00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:20,525 Jim, you do realize that the lid is see-through, right? 424 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,158 Oh, wow. 425 00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:29,579 Good eye. 426 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:33,166 That's the father of my child. 427 00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,144 Oh, come on! 428 00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:51,722 Hey, watch it! Okay, jeez. 429 00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,439 Am I wrong, or was this place a lot more fun when we were younger? 430 00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,775 No, no. I think it's the same. We're just old now. 431 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,154 But were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day? 432 00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,489 No. 433 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,329 Us, our generation, we were more mature. 434 00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,161 Hey, guys, check it out. 435 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,659 Vagina shark! 436 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,584 He touched my snatch! 437 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,833 I take that back. 438 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,260 Oh, my God. 439 00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,183 Fellas, do you gotta stare? 440 00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:32,346 Yeah. Yeah. 441 00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:34,106 Yes, we do need to stare. 442 00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:39,149 Could Jim be any more obvious? 443 00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,735 Oh, give him a break. 444 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,492 I mean, it's not every day you get to see a model walking around off the page. 445 00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:49,990 There hasn't been a whole lot of sexy time 446 00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:52,120 in the Levenstein household lately. 447 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,200 Why not? 448 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,997 I don't know. I'm a mom now. 449 00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:59,377 Oh, please! 450 00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,463 Just because you're a mom doesn't mean 451 00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,091 there isn't a whole other side to you. 452 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,969 Hey, remember that one time at band camp, 453 00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:10,517 when we licked whipped cream off each other's... 454 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:13,812 Yes! Yes! I remember. 455 00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:16,056 Let's keep that in the past, though, okay? 456 00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:19,689 Oh, she's... 457 00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:22,446 Yeah, well, you gotta do that, or else you're gonna get tan lines. 458 00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,073 Sideboob. There... Sorry. Sideboob. Ozzy, look! 459 00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,610 Okay! Come on! 460 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,491 You're a lucky man, Oz. 461 00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:33,915 Oh, come on, guys. I think we're all pretty 462 00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:36,786 lucky. 463 00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:42,299 Wait, is that Heather? 464 00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,137 Yeah, it is. 465 00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,633 Heather. 466 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:52,760 Chris! 467 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:54,811 Hey. 468 00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,479 What are you doing here? 469 00:25:56,638 --> 00:26:00,393 I guess we had the same idea, huh? 470 00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,107 Chris, this is Ron, my boyfriend. 471 00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,565 Chris Ostreicher, Ron Douglas. It's a pleasure to meet you. 472 00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:06,732 How do you do? 473 00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,817 Ron's a cardiologist at my hospital. 474 00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,324 A cardiologist. Wow. 475 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:15,037 Yeah. And, hey, listen, my friends call me Doctor Ron, D-Ron or just Dron. 476 00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,082 So you feel free. 477 00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:17,705 Okay. 478 00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:18,957 Hey, fuckface! 479 00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:21,168 Choir chick! Whoa! 480 00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,590 Nice to see you, too, Stifler. 481 00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:24,792 Who's this douche? 482 00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:27,173 I'm her boyfriend. 483 00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:30,632 So, you two are banging, 484 00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:33,259 and you two used to bang. 485 00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,266 This must be awkward for all of you. 486 00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:38,097 It is now. 487 00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:41,650 That little shit took my top! 488 00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:43,152 Give it back! 489 00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:47,149 Um, that's my girlfriend. 490 00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,609 What's this? What's this? 491 00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:54,789 Hey, kid! What do you think you're doing? 492 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,541 Hey! Come on, come on, let's go! 493 00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:59,827 Come on, guys. Not cool! 494 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,955 What're you assholes gonna do about it? 495 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,133 Well, that was interesting. 496 00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:15,676 Well, should we do something? 497 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,143 What are we gonna do? Come on. 498 00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:20,393 Agreed. There's no need to stoop to their level. 499 00:27:20,556 --> 00:27:21,978 Fuck that! 500 00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:24,064 I know exactly where they're going. 501 00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:28,363 Stifler? 502 00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:48,417 Where the hell is he? 503 00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:49,927 Guys, this is stupid. 504 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,213 I really can't keep Michelle waiting. Can we just head back? 505 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,256 Hold on. Let Stifler do his thing. 506 00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,517 Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. 507 00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:05,726 Did you guys see the look on their faces? 508 00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:06,940 Fucking awesome. 509 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,570 He is crazy. 510 00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,858 I think one of those guys was Kara's babysitter. 511 00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,033 Which one? 512 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,407 You know, the one that looked like Adam Sandler. 513 00:28:23,911 --> 00:28:26,130 Stifler better not do anything crazy. 514 00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:27,915 All he's gonna do is tell them off. 515 00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,879 I thought he was gonna cut their jet skis free. 516 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,589 What happened to pissing in their suntan lotion? 517 00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,221 Hold on. He told me he was going to steal their beer. 518 00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:36,469 Stifler. 519 00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:50,362 Oh, wait. There he is. 520 00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:51,563 All right. 521 00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,945 Yep, he's taking their beer. 522 00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,276 All right, hurry up, Stifler. Come on. 523 00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,496 What is he doing? 524 00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:01,081 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Wait. 525 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,783 Oh, God! KEVIN: Oh, my God. 526 00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:04,080 Steven! No! 527 00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:05,160 Oh, God. 528 00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,333 Yo, so you really think Kara's gonna give it up tonight? 529 00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:09,419 She was waiting until she turns 18. You do the math. 530 00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:15,262 The only math I know is you've added your penis to her vagina zero times. 531 00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:22,519 Jennifer's not a skank. 532 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:23,595 Dude, yes, she is. 533 00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:24,771 I'm gonna throw up. 534 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,274 Oh, my God. That's disgusting. 535 00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,475 What're you doing? 536 00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:32,362 Hurry up. Come on! 537 00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:34,607 Down it, man! Just chug it! Chug it! 538 00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,692 Do it. Do it! Don't puss out. 539 00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:38,360 Don't puss out! 540 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:39,444 Let's just go. Let's go. 541 00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:40,529 Go, go. Go, go, go, go. Go, go. 542 00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,707 You want another? 543 00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:44,866 For sure. 544 00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:49,626 Guys, I'm telling you, tonight is gonna be the night she promised me a year ago. 545 00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:57,800 What the... 546 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,223 Hey! Dipshit! 547 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,733 No! 548 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,236 No, no! 549 00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,572 Stifler! Are you crazy? 550 00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:23,160 Jesus, Stifler, what happened to just stealing their beer? 551 00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:25,245 I know, this is so much better, right? 552 00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:27,205 What? 553 00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:29,252 You destroyed their jet skis. 554 00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,413 They splashed us. 555 00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:33,415 So... 556 00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:40,680 Come on, guys. That was pretty funny. 557 00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:43,683 Maybe in high school it was funny. Now it's just a felony. 558 00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,014 Only if we get caught. 559 00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:47,846 Yeah, you gotta admit, it was nice giving those kids a little payback. 560 00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:50,015 Maybe it was good that they will learn to respect their elders. 561 00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,399 Exactly! 562 00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:54,232 Hey, give me a second, I gotta find some toilet paper. 563 00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:55,611 That's gross. 564 00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:57,989 What's up, Class of '99-ers? 565 00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:00,116 Oh, my God! Vicky! 566 00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:01,193 Hi! 567 00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:02,277 Hey! 568 00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:03,616 I can't believe you're here. 569 00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,288 Yeah, I flew in from New York last night. 570 00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:06,915 I've been hanging outwith my parents. 571 00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:09,122 They were actually just talking about you earlier. 572 00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:10,831 Really? About what? 573 00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,463 That time they caught us making out at the Falls. 574 00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:15,044 Oh, right. 575 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,093 The Falls. Wow, I haven't been there in forever. 576 00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:20,299 Michelle used to love going to the Falls. 577 00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:21,805 The place is romance incarnate. 578 00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:25,138 Hell, yeah. I got my first rim job at the Falls. 579 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,426 Okay. 580 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,304 Hey, sweetie. 581 00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,389 Mmm, sweetie pie! 582 00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:31,686 Hello. 583 00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:36,566 So, the guys were all talking about heading over to the Falls. 584 00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,781 Well, what about Jim and Michelle time? 585 00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,154 I was thinking it could be kind of romantic. 586 00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:45,867 Well, I'd love to, but your dad has been with Ev all day. 587 00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,698 Yeah, no, you're right. 588 00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:49,866 Okay. Yeah, we'll just, we'll go home. 589 00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:53,082 Oh, no, no. You go and have fun. 590 00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:54,253 Really? Yeah. 591 00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:57,924 Just, when you get home, you just better be ready. 592 00:31:58,083 --> 00:31:59,630 You better be ready. 593 00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:01,340 I'm ready. 594 00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:10,642 Um, Stifler, do you know where you're going? 595 00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:13,273 I know this place like the back of my cock. 596 00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,244 It looks like a high school party. 597 00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:29,532 With high school chicks. 598 00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:32,830 It's on. 599 00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,542 Watch it, Stifler. You know these girls are, like, half your age. 600 00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:36,796 I know. 601 00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:46,549 Okay, is it just me, or do girls today seem a bit sluttier? 602 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,762 Definitely. 603 00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:50,890 Teen sex, rainbow parties, sexting nude photos... 604 00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,430 I saw it all on Kathie Lee & Hoda. 605 00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,645 Happy birthday! 606 00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:03,656 Jim? 607 00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:05,783 Kara. You came! 608 00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,361 Hey! 609 00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:09,492 Sorry. 610 00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:11,914 Happy birthday. 611 00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:15,460 Oh, my God, is this the babysitter? 612 00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:16,502 Mmm-hmm. 613 00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,081 You make it sound like I'm a superhero. 614 00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,966 Faster than a speeding stroller, more powerful than a mini-van. 615 00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:24,552 I told you he was funny. 616 00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:25,837 He's adorable. 617 00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:30,096 Hey, Jim. Do you wanna introduce me to your friends? 618 00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:31,259 No. 619 00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,017 Girls, this is Stifler. 620 00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:37,940 So, how do you know my best friend Jim? 621 00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:39,817 Jim used to be my babysitter. 622 00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:43,693 Hey, I was just gonna do a birthday shot. 623 00:33:43,772 --> 00:33:45,115 Do you guys wanna do one with me? 624 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,316 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 625 00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:47,400 Yeah. Oh, ye& yes, yes. 626 00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:49,369 I shouldn't. Yes, we should, yes, we should. 627 00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:53,824 Never have I ever had sex in public. 628 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,998 Really? None of you? 629 00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:03,792 Oh, come on, Heather. You haven't drank once. 630 00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,506 You are such a prude! 631 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:09,424 Or maybe I've just never had sex in public. 632 00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:15,764 Okay, never have I ever been in an orgy. 633 00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:23,274 They were really nice guys. 634 00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:27,153 Believe it or not, this is my first high school party. 635 00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:28,783 You didn't miss much. 636 00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:33,493 I always preferred staying at home, throwing on a little NPR. 637 00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:35,498 You were so much cooler than me. 638 00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:39,579 I sat around writing X-Files fan fiction. 639 00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:47,344 I translated The Brothers Karamazov into Latin for fun. 640 00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,173 That is so sexy. 641 00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:53,679 You know it is. 642 00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:55,518 I've only been working as an architect 643 00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:58,017 for the last few years, and from home. 644 00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:00,056 You've been with the same company for over ten years. 645 00:35:00,223 --> 00:35:02,476 That's awesome, it sounds like everything is working out for you. 646 00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:05,941 Yeah. I mean, everything's good, especially work-wise. 647 00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:07,523 But now that we're back here in the town, 648 00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,149 and we see, like, all of our old friends, 649 00:35:09,316 --> 00:35:11,865 and everyone's married and having kids, 650 00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:14,951 it just makes me, you know, think. 651 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,537 You okay there, Kev? 652 00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,208 Yeah, I just don't normally drink like this. 653 00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:24,418 You're telling me you haven't gotten a little bit tipsy 654 00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,919 on Myers Family Wine Night? 655 00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:29,131 I see somebody's been stalking my Facebook page. 656 00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,672 At least I don't take pictures of my meals. 657 00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:33,306 Who's stalking who now? 658 00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:36,810 Okay, so I've been by your page maybe once or twice. 659 00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:40,222 You were dating someone named Alessandro? 660 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:44,059 You know, he does know that he can take a picture with his shirt on, right? 661 00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:47,320 Alessandro is long gone. 662 00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,990 It's over, huh? 663 00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,238 Okay, after this drink, I have to go home. 664 00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,372 Jim. 665 00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:02,294 There's a smoking hot 18-year-old girl over there that you used to babysit. 666 00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,420 And you're not going to do anything about that? 667 00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:06,673 Need I remind you that I am married to Michelle? 668 00:36:06,748 --> 00:36:07,749 Exactly. 669 00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:13,631 Dude, these young chicks, they know some crazy shit in the bedroom. 670 00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:17,013 You could take what you learn from Kara, 671 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,769 bring it home, and apply it to Michelle. 672 00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,098 You do care about your marriage, don't you, Jim? 673 00:36:23,264 --> 00:36:24,766 What are you talking about, Stifler? 674 00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,022 I'm not gonna cheat on my wife! 675 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,187 I'm a father for Christ's sakes. 676 00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,356 Yeah, that's perfect. 677 00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:34,151 Yeah, chicks love a father figure. Keep playing that card, dude. 678 00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,490 It's not a card, it's the truth. 679 00:36:36,653 --> 00:36:38,030 Hey. Hi. 680 00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,456 What are you guys talking about? 681 00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,784 Oh, you know... Just“ 682 00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:45,375 Jim was just saying how much fun he had taking care of you. 683 00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:48,165 Hey, ladies, why don't we give them some time to catch up? 684 00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,420 Mmm-hmm. Yeah, after you. 685 00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:51,797 No, that's not necessary. We should all hang out together. 686 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,553 Why don't we all... Stifler, just... 687 00:36:53,628 --> 00:36:55,050 Be her daddy. 688 00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:58,137 Stifler? Stifler! 689 00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:05,141 So, sounds like you and Mia have quite an adventurous lifestyle. 690 00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:07,726 Sometimes a little too adventurous. 691 00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:12,398 Wow. Well, Heather's a bit more on the conservative side. 692 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,481 But, uh... 693 00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:14,987 Hey! Hi. 694 00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:20,663 But, I gotta be honest, Chris, I could use a little adventure myself. 695 00:37:21,156 --> 00:37:22,703 What are you getting at, Ron? 696 00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:27,588 I'm just saying that usually I'm not one for swapping, 697 00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:33,003 but the fact that you've been with Heather already, kind of makes it okay. 698 00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,588 So, what do you think? 699 00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:38,923 Think they'd be into it? 700 00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:42,723 I'm kidding. Come on, I'm kidding! 701 00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:46,188 Seriously, I would never do that! 702 00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:48,937 Unless you guys wanted to. 703 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,854 So you've really been to every country in South America? 704 00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,944 No, no, not all of them. 705 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:58,201 And I don't consider French Guiana a nation. 706 00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:03,202 I remember, I couldn't wait till graduation 707 00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:06,288 so I could leave this town and reinvent myself. 708 00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:09,170 You have certainly reinvented yourself. 709 00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:10,337 I don't know. 710 00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,632 There's just a part of me that still wishes that 711 00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:15,130 I could just explore the world, you know? 712 00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,136 Be everything I set out to be. 713 00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:21,308 You can be whoever you wanna be. You just gotta be it. 714 00:38:24,052 --> 00:38:25,304 You wanna make out? Yeah. 715 00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:32,985 Are you crazy? I love the Twilight books. 716 00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,896 New Moon is my favorite. 717 00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:36,064 Mine, too! 718 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,775 Oh, my God! We have, like, so much in common! 719 00:38:38,942 --> 00:38:40,159 I know! I know! 720 00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:43,575 Wanna hit this? 721 00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:45,411 In more ways than one. 722 00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:57,464 I don't know who this is, but I'm pretty fucking busy right now. 723 00:38:57,627 --> 00:38:58,844 So sorry to interrupt, Stafler. 724 00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,131 Didn't realize the Special Olympics competed at night. 725 00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:02,298 Oh, fuck. 726 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,351 What the hell's going on over there? 727 00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:06,848 What, are you choking on your own dick? 728 00:39:07,804 --> 00:39:10,853 Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy, nothing. 729 00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:12,684 What can I do for you, sir? 730 00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:14,694 Bob from Acquisitions had a heart attack. 731 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,521 Some idiot told him that he was fired. 732 00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:17,905 He flipped out, I don't know. 733 00:39:18,064 --> 00:39:20,408 Listen, I need someone to finish his presentation. 734 00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:23,320 I need you to go in on Sunday and get everything ready. Yes? 735 00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:25,784 Oh, wait, Sunday. 736 00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:27,870 I got my high school reunion. 737 00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,158 Oh, wow, how fun! 738 00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,664 Yeah, no, I'll just call the chairman, 739 00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:31,835 and I'll get him to reschedule. 740 00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:34,248 Seriously? Hey, that would be awesome! 741 00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:37,793 That was a fucking joke, you moron. Jesus Christ, what am I doing? 742 00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,757 You know what, I am gonna handle this myself. 743 00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:43,716 No. No, no, no, listen, Mr. Duraiswamy, 744 00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:46,601 I can do it, okay? I promise, I'll get it done. 745 00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:48,303 Just don't fuck up, Stafler. 746 00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,935 It's Stifler. 747 00:39:51,097 --> 00:39:53,065 Dick! Hey, ladies... 748 00:39:53,474 --> 00:39:55,602 Ladies? They bailed, dude. 749 00:39:55,768 --> 00:39:57,486 Aw, fuck! 750 00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:00,648 Ugh! Um... 751 00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:02,484 Ooh! 752 00:40:02,567 --> 00:40:05,992 Hey, Kara, how are you getting home tonight? 753 00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,832 AJ was supposed to drive my car back, 754 00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:10,333 but he hasn't even shown up yet. 755 00:40:10,491 --> 00:40:12,835 Some lame excuse about his jet skis. 756 00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,667 Can you believe that jerk? 757 00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:18,333 What about you? 758 00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:19,671 Will you take me? 759 00:40:19,834 --> 00:40:22,053 Uh... Um... 760 00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:25,674 Come on! We're going to the same place. 761 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,763 Besides, it wouldn't be responsible 762 00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:30,186 to let me drive in this condition. 763 00:40:30,553 --> 00:40:31,600 Right? 764 00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:40,238 Okay, Kara. 765 00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:44,234 Hey! Whoa! Careful! Careful. Yeah. 766 00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:46,077 Oh, my God, I love this song. 767 00:40:46,235 --> 00:40:47,282 It's a good one. 768 00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:48,909 Isn't classic rock the best? 769 00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:52,372 Classic rock? This is classic rock now? 770 00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:56,421 Hey, you know, Kara, you should drink some more water. 771 00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:58,043 Where's that bottle I gave you? 772 00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:00,129 Oh, it's right here. Okay. 773 00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:02,385 In the back. 774 00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:11,390 Shit. Sorry. Sorry. There was a... 775 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:15,474 There was a little baby squirrel in the road, so... 776 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:20,111 Whoa! Hey! Whoa! That's not water. Okay. 777 00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:23,614 It's a little too much now. 778 00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:27,573 I love how, after all these years, you're still taking care of me. 779 00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:30,705 Well, you know, a babysitter's job never ends. 780 00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:34,000 You knew I always had a crush on you, right? 781 00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,253 No. 782 00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:40,540 I want you to be my first. 783 00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,260 Your first? 784 00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:46,421 Oh, God. Okay. Um... 785 00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:48,635 Kara, listen. Um... 786 00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:54,145 A person's virginity is something sacred, you know? 787 00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:55,805 You should save yourself for someone special. 788 00:41:55,888 --> 00:41:56,935 You're special. 789 00:41:57,015 --> 00:42:00,485 No! Not special. 790 00:42:00,643 --> 00:42:02,771 You think? I really... 791 00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,773 What are you doing? 792 00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,031 Hey, what are you doing? 793 00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:08,693 Come on. No one will ever find out. 794 00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:12,117 I don't know. I don't think... 795 00:42:12,142 --> 00:42:15,069 No, I don't. I don't think that's um. 796 00:42:15,070 --> 00:42:17,458 I don't think I should do that. 797 00:42:17,459 --> 00:42:20,722 No I-I can't, I won't so, you know that's 798 00:42:20,723 --> 00:42:22,121 Whoa. Hello. Okay. 799 00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:25,663 Kara! Kara! That's kissing. Kara you need to stop 800 00:42:25,664 --> 00:42:26,548 Stop! 801 00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:29,657 You don't think I'm pretty? 802 00:42:29,740 --> 00:42:34,541 Huh? Oh, no! You're very pretty, Kara. You're very, very... 803 00:42:34,619 --> 00:42:36,371 Really? Yes, very pretty. 804 00:42:36,455 --> 00:42:37,877 But I... Very pretty. Thanks. 805 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:39,462 Oh, my God! 806 00:42:39,624 --> 00:42:42,878 Holy shit! What? 807 00:42:44,212 --> 00:42:45,213 Oh, my... Where did your... 808 00:42:45,297 --> 00:42:46,298 Come on. 809 00:42:46,465 --> 00:42:48,809 I can't think of a better birthday gift. 810 00:42:48,967 --> 00:42:50,514 What about the new iPhone? 811 00:42:50,594 --> 00:42:52,562 Huh? Maybe a little pendant? The new Nicki Minaj album? 812 00:42:52,637 --> 00:42:54,731 No. No? Boobies. 813 00:42:54,848 --> 00:42:56,145 I want you! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 814 00:42:56,224 --> 00:42:57,476 You can't... Don't do that. 815 00:42:57,559 --> 00:42:59,061 That's not good, don't... 816 00:42:59,144 --> 00:43:00,646 Come on, stop 817 00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:02,689 Kara! Kara! Stop it. 818 00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:04,441 Shit! 819 00:43:06,485 --> 00:43:07,828 Whoa! 820 00:43:08,820 --> 00:43:09,992 Shit. Kara? 821 00:43:10,655 --> 00:43:12,157 Holy Jesus! Kara? 822 00:43:12,324 --> 00:43:14,702 Kara! Kara! Please wake up, Kara! 823 00:43:14,868 --> 00:43:16,541 Kara, wake up. Kara! 824 00:43:16,703 --> 00:43:17,704 Are you okay? 825 00:43:17,829 --> 00:43:18,921 Oh, Jesus, God! 826 00:43:18,997 --> 00:43:20,419 Oh, my God, are you all right? 827 00:43:21,041 --> 00:43:22,668 Hey, hi. 828 00:43:23,752 --> 00:43:25,846 Jim? Hey! 829 00:43:26,004 --> 00:43:28,553 What? This is crazy! 830 00:43:28,757 --> 00:43:30,134 Are you all right? 831 00:43:30,217 --> 00:43:33,687 Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah I'm okay. I was just... Um... 832 00:43:33,845 --> 00:43:36,223 I was reaching for something. 833 00:43:36,389 --> 00:43:38,562 Everything's okay. Everything's fine. 834 00:43:39,101 --> 00:43:40,444 I don't know if you've heard. Mmm? 835 00:43:40,519 --> 00:43:41,520 Did you hear? 836 00:43:42,187 --> 00:43:44,781 I am in charge of the reunion. 837 00:43:44,940 --> 00:43:47,739 Oh! Yeah, no, that's... Yeah, that's right. 838 00:43:47,901 --> 00:43:49,369 Got a whole '90s theme planned. 839 00:43:49,528 --> 00:43:51,280 Oh. That's... 840 00:43:51,446 --> 00:43:53,244 I booked Chumbawamba. 841 00:43:53,323 --> 00:43:55,371 Yeah. But the pricks cancelled yesterday. 842 00:43:55,575 --> 00:43:58,374 Was a setback, but you know me, 843 00:43:58,578 --> 00:44:01,957 "I get knocked down but I get up again." 844 00:44:04,918 --> 00:44:06,920 Oh, my God! Okay, I see what's going on. 845 00:44:13,510 --> 00:44:14,682 Yep. 846 00:44:14,761 --> 00:44:15,887 I'll see you later, buddy. 847 00:44:16,054 --> 00:44:17,727 All right then, I'll see you. 848 00:44:20,225 --> 00:44:22,728 Jesus, God. Kara. Kara, wake up. 849 00:44:22,894 --> 00:44:24,896 I just need a nap. What? 850 00:44:25,063 --> 00:44:27,157 Kara, this isn't time for a nap. Kara, wake up. 851 00:44:27,315 --> 00:44:28,612 This isn't napping time. 852 00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:31,411 Kara? Shit. 853 00:44:36,491 --> 00:44:40,337 Oh, God, this is bad. This is very, very bad. 854 00:44:51,798 --> 00:44:53,141 What took you guys so long? 855 00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:55,348 We were looking for Kevin. Couldn't find him. 856 00:44:55,510 --> 00:44:58,980 Plus, that hot piece of ass Oz is banging got wasted, so we had to drop her off. 857 00:44:59,139 --> 00:45:00,140 You brought him? 858 00:45:00,223 --> 00:45:01,395 Of course they brought me. 859 00:45:01,516 --> 00:45:03,063 When you guys were busy jacking off in high school, 860 00:45:03,143 --> 00:45:05,111 I was running this drill every weekend. 861 00:45:05,270 --> 00:45:07,193 Now, let's see what we are dealing with. 862 00:45:09,774 --> 00:45:10,775 Oh! 863 00:45:11,109 --> 00:45:13,111 Holy shit! 864 00:45:13,278 --> 00:45:14,245 Way to go, Jim. 865 00:45:14,321 --> 00:45:17,495 Shh. Okay, nothing happened, Stifler. Okay? Nothing happened. 866 00:45:17,657 --> 00:45:18,658 Stop that! 867 00:45:18,867 --> 00:45:19,914 I'm sorry. 868 00:45:19,993 --> 00:45:21,415 So, Jim, what do you wanna do? 869 00:45:21,494 --> 00:45:22,746 I don't know. 870 00:45:22,829 --> 00:45:24,627 I can't just leave her here naked, you know? 871 00:45:24,789 --> 00:45:27,463 I mean, if the cops come by and find out I'm involved, 872 00:45:28,293 --> 00:45:29,465 I'm screwed. 873 00:45:29,628 --> 00:45:31,505 That leaves us with two options. 874 00:45:32,464 --> 00:45:34,137 We dump the body or we sneak her inside. 875 00:45:34,299 --> 00:45:36,301 Dump the body? This isn't a mob hit. 876 00:45:36,468 --> 00:45:37,685 Okay, wait a second. 877 00:45:37,844 --> 00:45:41,189 I have been in her house a million times to babysit. 878 00:45:41,348 --> 00:45:44,397 I can totally sneak her in through the back door. 879 00:45:44,559 --> 00:45:47,153 I need you guys to distract her parents. 880 00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:49,030 Do you think you can do that? 881 00:45:49,397 --> 00:45:53,493 I'm an expert, Jim. Trust me. I got this shit. 882 00:46:00,992 --> 00:46:02,539 Good evening, sir. 883 00:46:02,702 --> 00:46:04,545 My friend's car broke down, 884 00:46:04,704 --> 00:46:08,174 and we were just wondering if we could use your phone to call AAA. 885 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,379 You mean to tell me that none of you have cell phones? 886 00:46:20,220 --> 00:46:23,394 Oh, my God, I know you. You were on Celebrity Dance Off. 887 00:46:23,556 --> 00:46:25,479 Oh, yeah! 888 00:46:25,558 --> 00:46:26,684 Ostreicher. 889 00:46:26,851 --> 00:46:28,068 Oh, yeah. 890 00:46:28,228 --> 00:46:29,354 Hey, come on in. 891 00:46:31,189 --> 00:46:32,782 That was very smooth, Stifler. 892 00:46:32,941 --> 00:46:34,193 Shut up, shitbreak. 893 00:46:34,359 --> 00:46:36,532 The last time I did this, cell phones didn't exist. 894 00:46:52,085 --> 00:46:53,211 Shit! 895 00:46:59,217 --> 00:47:00,434 Daddy. 896 00:47:02,095 --> 00:47:03,142 Look, Mom, Daddy! 897 00:47:03,221 --> 00:47:04,222 Shit! 898 00:47:18,987 --> 00:47:20,739 Oh, fuck! 899 00:47:21,823 --> 00:47:23,416 Kara? 900 00:47:24,576 --> 00:47:25,577 Kara? 901 00:47:27,537 --> 00:47:28,584 Kara? 902 00:47:28,747 --> 00:47:30,966 Gonna have to find me. 903 00:47:31,041 --> 00:47:32,213 Kara? 904 00:47:33,376 --> 00:47:35,378 Thank you, Sheranda. You've been very helpful. 905 00:47:35,462 --> 00:47:37,885 You get a Triple A-plus in my book. 906 00:47:38,048 --> 00:47:41,097 Oh, you take care, too. Okay, yeah, bye-bye. 907 00:47:42,093 --> 00:47:46,473 So, that was AAA on the phone and they should be here in a jiffy. 908 00:47:47,390 --> 00:47:49,108 Does this song sound familiar? 909 00:47:54,397 --> 00:47:57,071 You were such a good dancer. I felt so bad when you got voted off. 910 00:47:57,275 --> 00:47:58,322 Thank you. 911 00:47:58,485 --> 00:48:00,487 But I have to say you're much sexier in person. 912 00:48:00,695 --> 00:48:04,666 Okay. Calm down there, Susan. 913 00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:08,078 Dude, she wants to fuck you big time, dude. 914 00:48:08,244 --> 00:48:10,417 You got to hit that. No fucking way. 915 00:48:10,580 --> 00:48:11,832 Do it for Jim, dude, don't be selfish. 916 00:48:12,290 --> 00:48:15,134 Hey, you know what? I think I have to go to the bathroom. 917 00:48:16,002 --> 00:48:18,096 Kara, this is not funny. 918 00:48:18,296 --> 00:48:20,970 Kara, come on! Kara, come out. 919 00:48:21,132 --> 00:48:22,349 Boo! 920 00:48:22,509 --> 00:48:23,806 Oh, my God! 921 00:48:23,831 --> 00:48:25,287 Okay. Right. Here 922 00:48:25,288 --> 00:48:26,384 Come on. 923 00:48:26,385 --> 00:48:27,500 Alright. Okay. 924 00:48:27,501 --> 00:48:28,298 Good. Okay. 925 00:48:28,299 --> 00:48:29,746 Alright. Come on. 926 00:48:29,747 --> 00:48:30,767 Okay, good. 927 00:48:31,207 --> 00:48:32,880 - Watch it - You never could find me. 928 00:48:33,042 --> 00:48:35,761 Jim, I don't mean to alarm you but you don't have much time. 929 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:36,921 Yes, I know. 930 00:48:37,088 --> 00:48:38,431 I like your scarf. Okay. 931 00:48:38,589 --> 00:48:40,262 I like your breasts Door. 932 00:48:40,425 --> 00:48:41,893 Would it be okay if I get a picture? 933 00:48:42,051 --> 00:48:43,052 Sure. 934 00:48:47,557 --> 00:48:49,150 I know it's in here somewhere. 935 00:48:53,271 --> 00:48:55,239 Okay, a bottle of hair spray... 936 00:48:55,314 --> 00:48:56,361 You guys all right? 937 00:48:56,441 --> 00:48:57,784 Yeah. Yeah. 938 00:48:58,568 --> 00:48:59,615 You know something? 939 00:48:59,819 --> 00:49:04,620 I really was admiring how clean your toilet was in your bathroom. 940 00:49:05,158 --> 00:49:06,284 Thanks. 941 00:49:06,951 --> 00:49:09,124 You know what? I have to use the restroom, too. 942 00:49:09,287 --> 00:49:10,413 No, you don't. 943 00:49:18,004 --> 00:49:19,130 Let's get in bed. 944 00:49:19,297 --> 00:49:20,344 Come on and get in bed with me? 945 00:49:20,423 --> 00:49:21,549 No, I'm not getting in bed... 946 00:49:21,632 --> 00:49:22,679 Come on. Get in bed with me. 947 00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,053 No, I'm not... Kara, please. Oh, God. Please. 948 00:49:25,136 --> 00:49:26,137 Oh, shit! 949 00:49:27,305 --> 00:49:28,602 Stifler, what are you doing here? 950 00:49:28,765 --> 00:49:30,608 I just wanted another glimpse. No. 951 00:49:30,767 --> 00:49:32,189 Why'd you put her clothes back on, dude? Boo. 952 00:49:32,268 --> 00:49:33,485 You have to go. 953 00:49:35,146 --> 00:49:36,363 What was that? 954 00:49:36,481 --> 00:49:38,700 That sounded like it came from outside. 955 00:49:38,858 --> 00:49:40,701 No, that came from Kara's room. 956 00:49:40,860 --> 00:49:41,952 Oh, Jesus. 957 00:49:42,028 --> 00:49:43,029 Kara? 958 00:49:45,073 --> 00:49:46,074 Oh, my God. 959 00:49:47,825 --> 00:49:49,042 Go, go, go! 960 00:49:56,334 --> 00:49:57,711 What the hell's going on in here? 961 00:49:59,670 --> 00:50:00,967 Hi, Daddy. 962 00:50:01,714 --> 00:50:02,761 How'd you get back in? 963 00:50:03,841 --> 00:50:05,013 I don't remember. 964 00:50:05,176 --> 00:50:06,644 You don't remember? 965 00:50:07,512 --> 00:50:08,559 What was that sound? 966 00:50:08,638 --> 00:50:09,605 I don't know. 967 00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:10,772 What do you mean, you don't know? 968 00:50:10,848 --> 00:50:11,849 I don't know. 969 00:50:13,851 --> 00:50:15,194 You've been drinking, haven't you? 970 00:50:15,353 --> 00:50:16,479 No. 971 00:50:16,646 --> 00:50:19,445 Kara, I told you these boys try to get you drunk 972 00:50:19,524 --> 00:50:21,151 so they can take advantage of you. 973 00:50:21,234 --> 00:50:22,827 I'm old enough to know that, Dad. 974 00:50:22,985 --> 00:50:24,578 Yeah, well, I don't want to go to jail 975 00:50:24,654 --> 00:50:26,577 for kicking some horny kid's teeth in 976 00:50:26,656 --> 00:50:28,408 but I will, believe me. 977 00:50:32,078 --> 00:50:33,204 What is that? 978 00:50:33,371 --> 00:50:36,671 Oh, that's Mr. Moo! 979 00:50:37,416 --> 00:50:40,215 Will you get him for me, Daddy? Please. 980 00:50:57,436 --> 00:50:59,564 I can't be mad at my angel. 981 00:51:05,570 --> 00:51:07,743 Happy birthday, princess. 982 00:51:07,947 --> 00:51:09,039 Thanks, Dad. 983 00:51:18,541 --> 00:51:19,633 What are you doing? 984 00:51:20,418 --> 00:51:21,761 Nothing. 985 00:51:25,339 --> 00:51:26,636 Oh, jeez. 986 00:51:28,885 --> 00:51:29,932 Stifler? 987 00:51:31,095 --> 00:51:32,187 Stifler? 988 00:51:32,263 --> 00:51:33,310 Up here, dude. 989 00:51:34,765 --> 00:51:36,108 I told you I was an expert. 990 00:51:37,268 --> 00:51:38,485 Oh, shit. 991 00:51:39,145 --> 00:51:40,772 What the hell is going on now? 992 00:51:43,691 --> 00:51:44,863 Hey. 993 00:51:44,942 --> 00:51:46,819 Want to go to a Justin Bieber concert? 994 00:51:46,903 --> 00:51:48,325 Uh... Jim? 995 00:51:48,613 --> 00:51:49,990 Stifler, come on. Come on! 996 00:51:50,156 --> 00:51:51,453 Let's go. 997 00:51:52,575 --> 00:51:55,328 You and you, stay here. 998 00:51:55,828 --> 00:51:57,045 Don't push me. 999 00:51:58,331 --> 00:51:59,799 Whoa! Oh, my God. 1000 00:52:02,793 --> 00:52:03,840 Ah! 1001 00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:05,263 Kara, where the hell are you? 1002 00:52:05,338 --> 00:52:07,136 I'm on my way to your place and... 1003 00:52:10,468 --> 00:52:11,845 What the... 1004 00:52:11,928 --> 00:52:12,975 Fuck! 1005 00:52:18,309 --> 00:52:20,107 What the hell is going on? 1006 00:52:21,020 --> 00:52:22,647 Oh, God! 1007 00:52:34,784 --> 00:52:37,162 Hey, stud. 1008 00:52:37,328 --> 00:52:39,171 I thought you'd never... 1009 00:53:00,268 --> 00:53:04,444 Oh, shit, shit. We were supposed to... 1010 00:53:04,563 --> 00:53:05,610 No, it's fine. 1011 00:53:05,690 --> 00:53:07,692 What? No, God, it's not fine. 1012 00:53:08,734 --> 00:53:11,738 Shoot! I'm so sorry, Michelle. I really... I wanted to, I just... 1013 00:53:11,904 --> 00:53:13,952 I'm going to drop Ev at my grandma's 1014 00:53:14,031 --> 00:53:16,033 and I'll be back this afternoon. 1015 00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,168 No, Michelle, hold on. 1016 00:53:22,039 --> 00:53:23,507 Jim, I'm worried. 1017 00:53:24,583 --> 00:53:26,176 What are you worried about? 1018 00:53:26,335 --> 00:53:30,181 Just we're like so out of sync. 1019 00:53:32,258 --> 00:53:33,885 I just... 1020 00:53:34,051 --> 00:53:36,554 I don't know how much longer we can go on like this. 1021 00:53:39,056 --> 00:53:43,277 I promise you I will do everything I can to make it up to you. 1022 00:53:43,602 --> 00:53:44,899 Okay? 1023 00:53:45,062 --> 00:53:46,689 Stifler's having a party tonight. 1024 00:53:47,857 --> 00:53:52,328 Okay, I know that doesn't sound romantic or anything, 1025 00:53:52,403 --> 00:53:57,910 but remember our first time was at a Stifler party. 1026 00:53:58,075 --> 00:53:59,622 You made me your bitch. 1027 00:54:02,246 --> 00:54:04,624 Yes. Yes, I did. 1028 00:54:24,143 --> 00:54:25,645 Tell me when, okay? 1029 00:54:25,978 --> 00:54:27,230 What the fuck? 1030 00:54:36,614 --> 00:54:37,957 Mmm. 1031 00:54:54,799 --> 00:54:57,097 So, Mia. 1032 00:54:58,094 --> 00:55:01,143 She's a free spirit. 1033 00:55:01,305 --> 00:55:02,807 She's something else. 1034 00:55:02,973 --> 00:55:04,475 Yeah, she is. 1035 00:55:06,519 --> 00:55:09,318 Wait a minute, do I sense a little jealousy there? 1036 00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:10,982 No. Mmm-mmm. No? 1037 00:55:11,148 --> 00:55:13,401 Hey, don't forget, you were the one who broke up with me 1038 00:55:13,484 --> 00:55:14,781 before you went to med school. 1039 00:55:14,860 --> 00:55:19,036 Hey, you were moving to LA with no return in sight. 1040 00:55:19,198 --> 00:55:21,667 You can't blame me for wanting to settle down. 1041 00:55:21,992 --> 00:55:24,165 No, I don't. 1042 00:55:24,995 --> 00:55:27,748 I just don't want you to settle. 1043 00:55:28,374 --> 00:55:30,547 Look who's jealous now. 1044 00:55:30,709 --> 00:55:33,508 I wouldn't call being with Ron "settling." 1045 00:55:33,671 --> 00:55:36,174 Oh, no, he's gorgeous on paper. 1046 00:55:36,549 --> 00:55:37,971 What is that supposed to mean? 1047 00:55:38,342 --> 00:55:40,060 Nothing. Um... 1048 00:55:41,220 --> 00:55:44,315 I'm sorry. You're right. 1049 00:55:46,016 --> 00:55:47,689 I am a bit jealous. 1050 00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:50,863 You know, it's funny. 1051 00:55:51,814 --> 00:55:55,364 In some ways, you've completely changed, 1052 00:55:55,526 --> 00:55:58,496 and, in other ways, you're exactly the same. 1053 00:55:58,654 --> 00:56:00,702 Heather, you can believe this, 1054 00:56:00,865 --> 00:56:02,367 nothing's changed. 1055 00:56:04,827 --> 00:56:05,874 Oh, my God. 1056 00:56:06,036 --> 00:56:07,663 Chris Ostreicher? 1057 00:56:08,205 --> 00:56:09,377 Hi, girls. 1058 00:56:09,457 --> 00:56:10,583 Can I get a pic? 1059 00:56:10,749 --> 00:56:11,841 Sure. 1060 00:56:17,506 --> 00:56:18,553 Dad? 1061 00:56:20,259 --> 00:56:21,556 Oh, hey, Dad. Hey, Jim. 1062 00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:23,346 I'm just going to run out for a sec. 1063 00:56:23,512 --> 00:56:26,356 I was just watching your old Bar Mitzvah tape. 1064 00:56:28,225 --> 00:56:29,772 I got your Jew scarf! 1065 00:56:29,935 --> 00:56:31,562 Give it back, Stifler. 1066 00:56:34,356 --> 00:56:39,783 I think I'm the happiest man in the world thanks to you. 1067 00:56:45,367 --> 00:56:47,290 Yeah, I miss her too, Dad. 1068 00:56:49,288 --> 00:56:50,460 I know. 1069 00:56:58,797 --> 00:57:02,768 Dad, you've always been there to give me advice. 1070 00:57:03,093 --> 00:57:06,768 But if there's anything that you want to talk about, 1071 00:57:08,098 --> 00:57:09,600 I'm here for you. 1072 00:57:11,143 --> 00:57:13,612 Yeah, I don't think there's anything 1073 00:57:13,687 --> 00:57:16,110 I really need to talk about, Jim. 1074 00:57:17,066 --> 00:57:20,115 Do you think maybe it's time for you to 1075 00:57:20,569 --> 00:57:21,946 meet someone else? 1076 00:57:23,113 --> 00:57:25,161 Dad, it's okay. 1077 00:57:25,324 --> 00:57:29,454 What you're going through is perfectly natural. 1078 00:57:30,371 --> 00:57:33,170 You know, there are services out there... 1079 00:57:33,332 --> 00:57:34,379 Services? Yeah. 1080 00:57:34,458 --> 00:57:35,675 Like what? 1081 00:57:35,834 --> 00:57:37,632 A happy ending? What's that? 1082 00:57:37,795 --> 00:57:38,842 Because I won't go there. 1083 00:57:38,921 --> 00:57:39,922 Oh, my God. 1084 00:57:40,047 --> 00:57:42,049 I don't need that... I don't need that kind of massage, Jim. 1085 00:57:42,132 --> 00:57:43,224 That's not what I was... 1086 00:57:43,300 --> 00:57:44,893 Because, you know what, it's dangerous. 1087 00:57:44,969 --> 00:57:46,437 And you can pick things up. 1088 00:57:46,512 --> 00:57:48,389 You don't even wanna know what you can pick up. 1089 00:57:48,556 --> 00:57:50,058 Talk to your uncle Mort. I'd rather not. 1090 00:57:50,140 --> 00:57:51,357 He was in the hospital for two weeks. 1091 00:57:51,433 --> 00:57:52,901 That's disgusting. 1092 00:57:56,146 --> 00:57:58,649 I was talking about 1093 00:57:59,358 --> 00:58:00,951 online dating services. 1094 00:58:02,653 --> 00:58:03,700 No, Jim. 1095 00:58:03,862 --> 00:58:06,911 Yeah, right, at my age? I don't think so. 1096 00:58:07,074 --> 00:58:09,076 I've been out of the game for so long. 1097 00:58:09,159 --> 00:58:10,661 There wasn't even a game back then. 1098 00:58:10,744 --> 00:58:14,749 Dad, don't worry. I'll hook you up. 1099 00:58:20,004 --> 00:58:21,301 Do you have those photos? 1100 00:58:21,672 --> 00:58:23,265 Here you go. 1101 00:58:23,591 --> 00:58:24,592 Wow. 1102 00:58:24,675 --> 00:58:25,847 Yeah. Oh. 1103 00:58:26,010 --> 00:58:27,262 We might need something a little more recent. 1104 00:58:27,344 --> 00:58:28,345 Do you think? 1105 00:58:30,014 --> 00:58:33,109 Do you have something that's a bit sexier? 1106 00:58:33,934 --> 00:58:35,151 Gotcha. 1107 00:58:39,231 --> 00:58:40,232 Did you... 1108 00:58:40,858 --> 00:58:42,075 Favorite music. 1109 00:58:42,359 --> 00:58:43,360 Um... 1110 00:58:43,611 --> 00:58:44,988 Herman's Hermits. 1111 00:58:45,362 --> 00:58:46,363 Okay. 1112 00:58:47,197 --> 00:58:48,164 Oh... 1113 00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:51,210 Girls, one at a time, please. 1114 00:58:51,535 --> 00:58:52,707 Interests and hobbies. 1115 00:58:52,870 --> 00:58:53,962 Sudoku. 1116 00:58:54,121 --> 00:58:55,213 We'll come back to this one. 1117 00:59:02,129 --> 00:59:04,131 Are we sure we're not taking off too much? 1118 00:59:04,298 --> 00:59:07,017 These caterpillars are kind of my trademark. 1119 00:59:08,886 --> 00:59:11,560 Okay... Perfect. 1120 00:59:11,722 --> 00:59:14,145 Take a look. I'm nervous. 1121 00:59:18,062 --> 00:59:21,066 Oh, that's fantastic! 1122 00:59:21,231 --> 00:59:24,235 That is a great look for me! 1123 00:59:24,485 --> 00:59:25,486 Huh? 1124 00:59:25,569 --> 00:59:29,199 Leaner lines. I still have mobility. 1125 00:59:30,199 --> 00:59:32,167 Why didn't I do this 30 years ago? 1126 00:59:32,242 --> 00:59:33,243 Looking good. 1127 00:59:33,410 --> 00:59:35,378 Why don't we test this new look out tonight? 1128 00:59:35,704 --> 00:59:36,705 Oh, um... 1129 00:59:37,081 --> 00:59:40,460 The thing is, Stifler is throwing a party tonight. 1130 00:59:40,751 --> 00:59:42,594 Oh! Well, another time. 1131 00:59:42,753 --> 00:59:44,972 But you could come with us. 1132 00:59:45,589 --> 00:59:46,886 It would be nice to get out of the house. 1133 00:59:47,049 --> 00:59:48,596 I do have to warn you, though, 1134 00:59:48,759 --> 00:59:52,013 Stifler's parties can get a little. 1135 00:59:52,179 --> 00:59:53,351 Wild. 1136 01:00:05,567 --> 01:00:08,946 What the fuck is this? 1137 01:00:09,780 --> 01:00:11,782 Who the hell changed the music? 1138 01:00:11,949 --> 01:00:14,247 Sorry, we thought this was more baby-friendly. 1139 01:00:14,410 --> 01:00:17,209 Didn't we? Yes, we did. 1140 01:00:17,371 --> 01:00:19,089 Stifmeister! 1141 01:00:21,750 --> 01:00:22,876 Ch! 1142 01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:23,961 Bluck! 1143 01:00:24,378 --> 01:00:25,595 Chester! 1144 01:00:28,674 --> 01:00:30,392 What have you cock-smokers been up to? 1145 01:00:30,551 --> 01:00:32,849 Well, we just got engaged. Yeah. 1146 01:00:33,011 --> 01:00:35,514 What? That's so fucking gay. 1147 01:00:37,391 --> 01:00:39,644 Yeah, Stifler, we are gay. 1148 01:00:40,144 --> 01:00:41,566 Half the lacrosse team was gay. 1149 01:00:41,645 --> 01:00:43,773 You must have known that, right? 1150 01:00:43,897 --> 01:00:46,446 Dude, you walked in on Doug and Barry in the shower. 1151 01:00:47,776 --> 01:00:49,494 I just thought they were wrestling. 1152 01:00:50,757 --> 01:00:53,683 - They were - Yeah they definitely were 1153 01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:56,024 They just wasn't a loser that night 1154 01:00:56,025 --> 01:00:56,609 Oh. 1155 01:01:02,105 --> 01:01:04,153 Are we sure this is Stifler's? 1156 01:01:04,775 --> 01:01:05,776 Ooh! 1157 01:01:05,859 --> 01:01:07,202 Hors d'oeuvres! 1158 01:01:07,319 --> 01:01:08,946 Why don't you give this to our host, son? 1159 01:01:10,948 --> 01:01:11,949 Hmm. 1160 01:01:12,616 --> 01:01:14,960 Oh, my God! Look who it is. 1161 01:01:15,077 --> 01:01:16,169 Hey. 1162 01:01:18,288 --> 01:01:19,710 Sorry for interrupting you guys last night. 1163 01:01:20,165 --> 01:01:22,042 Bravo, by the way. 1164 01:01:22,209 --> 01:01:24,962 Most wives stop doing that after they get the ring. 1165 01:01:25,128 --> 01:01:26,971 What are you talking about? Did you change your hair color? 1166 01:01:27,130 --> 01:01:32,478 So, is your buddy, the other MILF guy, here tonight? 1167 01:01:32,636 --> 01:01:34,479 I thought you always come to these things together. 1168 01:01:35,305 --> 01:01:39,310 Let's just say that friendship is a two-way street. 1169 01:01:40,852 --> 01:01:42,354 Excuse me. 1170 01:01:44,523 --> 01:01:45,524 Mmm. 1171 01:01:45,816 --> 01:01:47,693 Could this party get any lamer? 1172 01:01:48,735 --> 01:01:50,328 It's not so bad. 1173 01:01:51,822 --> 01:01:53,495 You want some E? 1174 01:01:53,657 --> 01:01:55,375 No. Why do you have that? 1175 01:01:55,826 --> 01:01:58,204 No one else here probably has any. 1176 01:01:58,370 --> 01:01:59,417 Are you sure you don't want one? 1177 01:01:59,580 --> 01:02:00,581 Yeah. 1178 01:02:00,706 --> 01:02:01,878 No... Yes. 1179 01:02:01,957 --> 01:02:02,958 No. 1180 01:02:03,041 --> 01:02:05,214 Okay. Fine. More for me, then. 1181 01:02:10,716 --> 01:02:12,013 And there they are. 1182 01:02:12,175 --> 01:02:13,347 Finchy. 1183 01:02:14,386 --> 01:02:17,890 There you guys are. Look around. Can you believe this shit? 1184 01:02:18,056 --> 01:02:19,854 Yeah, man. Nice work. 1185 01:02:20,017 --> 01:02:21,439 For you. 1186 01:02:21,518 --> 01:02:23,270 What the hell am I supposed to do with this? 1187 01:02:23,437 --> 01:02:24,905 That's called wine, Stifler. 1188 01:02:25,063 --> 01:02:26,690 No, no, no, no, not at my party. 1189 01:02:26,773 --> 01:02:28,070 I'm going to get us some shots. 1190 01:02:29,484 --> 01:02:30,531 Hey, Kev. 1191 01:02:30,611 --> 01:02:32,204 Can I talk to you guys for a sec? 1192 01:02:32,529 --> 01:02:34,531 Yeah, sure. Wait here, I'll be right back. 1193 01:02:36,700 --> 01:02:38,247 So, you brought the goods? 1194 01:02:38,452 --> 01:02:39,704 Right here. 1195 01:02:39,870 --> 01:02:41,417 I want to see. 1196 01:02:43,874 --> 01:02:46,878 What the... Where did those fuckers go? 1197 01:02:47,210 --> 01:02:48,211 Hello, Steven. 1198 01:02:48,754 --> 01:02:50,552 Mr. Levenstein. Yes. 1199 01:02:50,631 --> 01:02:51,723 You made it. 1200 01:02:51,882 --> 01:02:54,510 It is so great to see all you kids back in town. 1201 01:02:54,593 --> 01:02:55,640 Hmm. 1202 01:02:55,719 --> 01:02:59,098 And what a terrific soiree you're throwing here tonight. 1203 01:02:59,264 --> 01:03:01,107 Just wonderful! 1204 01:03:01,266 --> 01:03:04,941 You know what? I'm going to get you fucked up. 1205 01:03:05,020 --> 01:03:06,317 Hmm? Have a shot. 1206 01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:08,073 Oh! No, no, no. 1207 01:03:08,231 --> 01:03:11,610 I don't think so, Steven. I'm not much of a drinker. 1208 01:03:11,777 --> 01:03:13,745 Drink it. Drink it! Drink it! No, I can't. 1209 01:03:13,904 --> 01:03:15,326 Drink it! Drink it! 1210 01:03:17,407 --> 01:03:18,499 Awesome! Let's do another one. 1211 01:03:18,575 --> 01:03:19,747 I don't think so. 1212 01:03:19,826 --> 01:03:22,170 Look, Kev, you don't know for sure if anything happened. 1213 01:03:22,245 --> 01:03:25,590 I woke up next to her in bed, and all our clothes were off. 1214 01:03:25,749 --> 01:03:28,423 I mean, whatever happened, I feel guilty. 1215 01:03:28,585 --> 01:03:30,258 Kevin, in France, 1216 01:03:30,420 --> 01:03:34,095 it's only considered cheating if your wife catches you in the act. 1217 01:03:37,469 --> 01:03:38,470 She's here. 1218 01:03:40,764 --> 01:03:42,186 I gotta go. 1219 01:03:42,474 --> 01:03:44,101 All right, get ready. 1220 01:03:44,267 --> 01:03:46,736 Wait for it. Wait for it! 1221 01:03:46,812 --> 01:03:47,859 Wait for it! 1222 01:03:47,938 --> 01:03:49,485 Here she comes! 1223 01:03:49,898 --> 01:03:50,945 Yeah! 1224 01:03:51,024 --> 01:03:52,776 Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein! 1225 01:03:52,943 --> 01:03:55,071 The name is Noah, motherfucker. 1226 01:03:58,281 --> 01:03:59,282 Mmm. 1227 01:03:59,449 --> 01:04:00,792 Feel the sofa. 1228 01:04:00,951 --> 01:04:03,625 It's so smooth. 1229 01:04:04,121 --> 01:04:06,965 It feels like a Smurf's ass. 1230 01:04:07,124 --> 01:04:08,467 Did you feel it? 1231 01:04:08,625 --> 01:04:11,674 Okay. Mia, can you... 1232 01:04:13,171 --> 01:04:15,139 Hey, guys. Sorry we're late. 1233 01:04:15,340 --> 01:04:16,341 Hi. 1234 01:04:17,384 --> 01:04:20,479 Hey, I got a treat for everybody. I picked something up. 1235 01:04:20,637 --> 01:04:23,311 Celebrity Dance Off, Season Six. My man, Chris Ostreicher. 1236 01:04:23,390 --> 01:04:24,391 Oh, my God. 1237 01:04:27,018 --> 01:04:29,020 We have to watch this. 1238 01:04:29,187 --> 01:04:31,861 Who wants to see my baby shake his booty? 1239 01:04:33,483 --> 01:04:34,951 I know I do. 1240 01:04:35,110 --> 01:04:37,454 JDate? You have to be kidding me. 1241 01:04:37,612 --> 01:04:40,866 If you want quality vag, you have to go out into the wild. 1242 01:04:41,032 --> 01:04:42,284 "Vag"? 1243 01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,003 What is that, a half a vagina? 1244 01:04:46,455 --> 01:04:49,334 You know, in my day we called it a beaver. 1245 01:04:49,499 --> 01:04:53,345 And let me tell you something, I snagged a pelt or two. 1246 01:04:53,503 --> 01:04:54,550 I bet you did. 1247 01:04:54,671 --> 01:04:55,672 Dad? 1248 01:04:55,756 --> 01:04:58,179 Hey, Jim, your dad is so much cooler than you. 1249 01:04:58,258 --> 01:04:59,931 Stifler, please stop getting my dad drunk. 1250 01:05:00,010 --> 01:05:02,354 No, he's just trying to get me some vag. 1251 01:05:02,429 --> 01:05:03,430 Okay, come on. 1252 01:05:03,513 --> 01:05:05,186 Yeah! Hey, hey. 1253 01:05:05,348 --> 01:05:07,021 Let the man make his own decisions. 1254 01:05:07,184 --> 01:05:08,231 Stop. Come on. 1255 01:05:08,310 --> 01:05:09,311 Don't listen to him. 1256 01:05:09,978 --> 01:05:12,322 I want you to dust off that old dick of yours, 1257 01:05:12,481 --> 01:05:14,483 go out there, and get some ass. 1258 01:05:14,649 --> 01:05:15,821 Oh! Just go out there. 1259 01:05:15,901 --> 01:05:17,027 I think I Will. 1260 01:05:17,194 --> 01:05:19,993 Dad, stop, okay? It's exactly what I'm gonna... 1261 01:05:20,071 --> 01:05:22,745 I'm sorry, but you have had a little too much to drink tonight, 1262 01:05:22,866 --> 01:05:24,118 and I'm not letting you... No, no. 1263 01:05:24,201 --> 01:05:27,580 No, son, I haven't hardly had one drink. 1264 01:05:27,746 --> 01:05:30,044 And you know I love you. 1265 01:05:30,207 --> 01:05:34,428 I do love you, but you need to 1266 01:05:35,837 --> 01:05:36,838 chillax. 1267 01:05:37,422 --> 01:05:39,516 "Chillax"? Dad, where are you going? 1268 01:05:39,591 --> 01:05:41,059 Do you see him? Jim! Jim! 1269 01:05:41,218 --> 01:05:42,891 Let him go. Let him have some fun. 1270 01:05:44,054 --> 01:05:47,729 And now we can have some fun. 1271 01:05:48,934 --> 01:05:49,935 Come on. 1272 01:05:51,728 --> 01:05:53,196 Excuse me. 1273 01:05:53,355 --> 01:05:55,232 I'm sorry, excuse me. 1274 01:05:55,398 --> 01:05:56,490 Is this a washroom? 1275 01:05:57,943 --> 01:05:59,991 It doesn't even occur to you that you're self-centered 1276 01:06:00,070 --> 01:06:02,994 because you are so self-centered and... 1277 01:06:03,073 --> 01:06:04,950 You know what? Hold on a second. 1278 01:06:06,910 --> 01:06:08,036 Can I help you? 1279 01:06:09,579 --> 01:06:10,956 Who might you be? 1280 01:06:11,122 --> 01:06:12,749 I'm Stifler's mom. 1281 01:06:13,250 --> 01:06:14,251 Oh. 1282 01:06:14,793 --> 01:06:16,591 I'm Jim's dad. 1283 01:06:17,921 --> 01:06:19,423 Later, fucker. 1284 01:06:38,275 --> 01:06:41,404 Oh, my God, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. 1285 01:06:48,869 --> 01:06:50,746 Dude, you have an amazing body! 1286 01:06:50,829 --> 01:06:55,300 Everybody, raise the roof for Chris Ostreicher! 1287 01:06:55,375 --> 01:06:57,377 You have really been bringing it all season long. 1288 01:06:57,460 --> 01:07:01,966 But now it's time, Chris, to see if America thinks you done brought it. 1289 01:07:02,632 --> 01:07:04,054 You ready? Let's do it. 1290 01:07:04,134 --> 01:07:05,135 Let's see the results. 1291 01:07:11,266 --> 01:07:13,985 What? Gilbert Gottfried and not you? 1292 01:07:14,144 --> 01:07:15,270 Fucking bullshit! 1293 01:07:15,437 --> 01:07:17,565 Chris, I'm so sorry, man. 1294 01:07:17,731 --> 01:07:22,328 Well, we saw you jam. Now, it's time to scram. 1295 01:07:23,278 --> 01:07:24,575 Do you have any last thoughts for the audience? 1296 01:07:24,738 --> 01:07:27,241 Okay, guys, we can probably end it there. 1297 01:07:27,407 --> 01:07:29,660 What? No, are you kidding? I haven't seen this. 1298 01:07:29,826 --> 01:07:32,170 I think what I've learned is to be true 1299 01:07:32,245 --> 01:07:33,337 to myself, 1300 01:07:33,496 --> 01:07:36,500 because that's what dancing is, it's truth. 1301 01:07:36,666 --> 01:07:38,760 And maybe, 1302 01:07:39,002 --> 01:07:42,176 if we just danced a little bit more, 1303 01:07:42,339 --> 01:07:45,718 there would be no more wars. 1304 01:07:47,594 --> 01:07:49,016 No more war! 1305 01:07:49,095 --> 01:07:51,393 Well, that is a thoughtful take on foreign policy. 1306 01:07:52,891 --> 01:07:55,394 Stick around. Hulk Hogan gets jiggy-friggy, right after this. 1307 01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:56,857 You don't want to miss this. Stick around. 1308 01:08:05,737 --> 01:08:06,909 Hey. 1309 01:08:07,280 --> 01:08:09,374 If you want my opinion, I think you got cheated. 1310 01:08:11,451 --> 01:08:12,623 Are you okay? 1311 01:08:13,536 --> 01:08:15,209 You know, 1312 01:08:15,956 --> 01:08:18,960 when you lose something that's important to you, it doesn't feel very good. 1313 01:08:19,584 --> 01:08:21,803 Oz, it's just a show. 1314 01:08:22,420 --> 01:08:24,969 I'm not talking about the show. 1315 01:08:32,180 --> 01:08:34,057 Hey, Heather, you down there? 1316 01:08:34,683 --> 01:08:36,151 Um, coming! 1317 01:08:37,185 --> 01:08:38,562 Oh, my God. 1318 01:08:38,728 --> 01:08:40,025 Wait here, I'll be right back. 1319 01:08:41,690 --> 01:08:43,863 I can't tell you how many times I walked into Steven's room 1320 01:08:44,025 --> 01:08:46,869 and I caught him in the middle of sex with some girl. 1321 01:08:47,028 --> 01:08:49,827 At least he was with a real, live human girl. 1322 01:08:49,990 --> 01:08:51,207 What are you talking about? 1323 01:08:51,282 --> 01:08:55,412 I walked into the kitchen once, and I saw Jim humping a pie. 1324 01:08:57,497 --> 01:09:01,127 He turned the damn thing into a crumble in about two seconds. 1325 01:09:05,839 --> 01:09:07,432 I can top that. 1326 01:09:07,590 --> 01:09:08,807 I once walked into my bedroom 1327 01:09:08,883 --> 01:09:12,262 and I caught Steven sticking my hairbrush up his ass. 1328 01:09:16,016 --> 01:09:18,189 No, and it wasn't the handle side, either. 1329 01:09:21,730 --> 01:09:22,731 Oh! 1330 01:09:24,107 --> 01:09:26,451 No, no, no. 1331 01:09:27,944 --> 01:09:32,370 A pretty lady like you shouldn't be drinking quite so much. 1332 01:09:33,158 --> 01:09:34,501 And neither should I. 1333 01:09:41,124 --> 01:09:42,467 How about a joint, then? 1334 01:09:45,503 --> 01:09:49,633 We don't have to wait 13 years to see each other again. 1335 01:09:49,799 --> 01:09:51,392 Yeah, true. 1336 01:09:51,551 --> 01:09:55,522 And I guess I could come along on one of your adventures. 1337 01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:58,559 Am I good sidekick material? 1338 01:09:58,641 --> 01:09:59,688 Sidekick? 1339 01:09:59,768 --> 01:10:04,740 I think you are a lot more than sidekick material. 1340 01:10:10,487 --> 01:10:12,330 Is everything okay? 1341 01:10:14,991 --> 01:10:16,993 It's better than ever. 1342 01:10:19,829 --> 01:10:20,876 Mmm. Mmm. 1343 01:10:20,955 --> 01:10:22,298 Okay, wait, wait. 1344 01:10:22,457 --> 01:10:26,303 I don't think we're dressed appropriately for the occasion. 1345 01:10:26,461 --> 01:10:28,008 Put that on. 1346 01:10:28,171 --> 01:10:29,514 Wait, where are you going? 1347 01:10:29,589 --> 01:10:32,513 To change. Be back soon. 1348 01:10:43,019 --> 01:10:44,236 Dudes! 1349 01:10:46,022 --> 01:10:47,615 What's up, bro? 1350 01:10:48,566 --> 01:10:50,534 Big Stiffy? 1351 01:10:50,693 --> 01:10:52,787 Blowjob Lipstein. 1352 01:10:55,740 --> 01:10:58,539 Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me! 1353 01:10:58,743 --> 01:10:59,869 Excuse me? 1354 01:11:06,584 --> 01:11:07,631 Okay. 1355 01:11:08,253 --> 01:11:11,427 What the hell are you doing? You just expect me to blow you? 1356 01:11:11,506 --> 01:11:12,553 Yeah! 1357 01:11:12,715 --> 01:11:14,092 I'm out of here. 1358 01:11:14,259 --> 01:11:15,761 Wait. Wait, Wait! 1359 01:11:15,927 --> 01:11:17,395 Look, I get it. 1360 01:11:17,554 --> 01:11:19,227 You're self-conscious about your body. 1361 01:11:19,931 --> 01:11:22,775 Don't worry. I was going to shut the lights off anyway. 1362 01:11:22,934 --> 01:11:25,562 You are the same douchebag that you were in high school. 1363 01:11:26,062 --> 01:11:29,783 You just expect me to do everything while I get nothing? 1364 01:11:29,941 --> 01:11:30,942 Later. 1365 01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:32,242 No, no! 1366 01:11:36,406 --> 01:11:38,283 Let's make a deal. 1367 01:11:39,576 --> 01:11:42,955 I'll get you off, you get me off. 1368 01:11:43,121 --> 01:11:44,998 What do you say? 1369 01:11:45,331 --> 01:11:46,583 Fine. 1370 01:11:47,250 --> 01:11:49,093 But I am putting you to work. 1371 01:11:49,460 --> 01:11:50,837 Holy shit. 1372 01:11:52,005 --> 01:11:53,757 Chow time! 1373 01:11:57,177 --> 01:11:59,054 There you are! 1374 01:11:59,137 --> 01:12:01,936 I've been looking all over for you. 1375 01:12:02,098 --> 01:12:04,692 Listen, we really need to... 1376 01:12:06,436 --> 01:12:07,938 What are you doing? 1377 01:12:08,104 --> 01:12:09,526 Taking what's mine. 1378 01:12:12,108 --> 01:12:14,782 No, I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice. 1379 01:12:15,069 --> 01:12:17,618 Aw, is everything okay? You seem stressed. 1380 01:12:18,031 --> 01:12:19,658 Stressed? 1381 01:12:21,492 --> 01:12:23,290 There you are! 1382 01:12:24,787 --> 01:12:26,835 No, no, no. 1383 01:12:26,998 --> 01:12:30,719 I have to go right now, but I'll call you back in a little bit. 1384 01:12:30,877 --> 01:12:34,131 Okay. And don't worry, I won't watch Gossip Girl without you. 1385 01:12:34,255 --> 01:12:35,222 I miss you, babe. 1386 01:12:35,298 --> 01:12:36,720 I miss you, too. 1387 01:12:40,136 --> 01:12:43,640 Listen, Vicky, about last night, 1388 01:12:44,515 --> 01:12:45,812 that wasn't me. 1389 01:12:45,975 --> 01:12:48,069 With what happened... 1390 01:12:48,728 --> 01:12:51,322 I don't know. It might be normal in your world. 1391 01:12:51,481 --> 01:12:53,233 What do you think happened? 1392 01:12:53,691 --> 01:12:56,035 Well, all our clothes were on the floor. 1393 01:12:56,194 --> 01:12:57,491 Yeah, because they were soaking wet 1394 01:12:57,570 --> 01:12:59,243 from when you got drunk and fell in the lake. 1395 01:12:59,405 --> 01:13:00,907 I took care of you. 1396 01:13:01,074 --> 01:13:03,918 So, we didn't have sex? 1397 01:13:04,077 --> 01:13:05,203 Of course not. 1398 01:13:05,870 --> 01:13:07,838 Oh, thank God! 1399 01:13:10,250 --> 01:13:13,094 I'm glad you think so highly of me. 1400 01:13:14,128 --> 01:13:15,175 No. 1401 01:13:15,672 --> 01:13:17,265 Vicky, wait. 1402 01:13:18,258 --> 01:13:21,353 Oh, yeah! Oh, my God! 1403 01:13:21,511 --> 01:13:23,013 Mia, stop. 1404 01:13:24,681 --> 01:13:26,024 9l", my God, yeah! 1405 01:13:26,182 --> 01:13:27,399 Mia, get off! 1406 01:13:27,475 --> 01:13:29,352 I'm about to! I'm about to! 1407 01:13:31,604 --> 01:13:32,696 Heather. 1408 01:13:35,024 --> 01:13:36,071 What the hell? 1409 01:13:37,193 --> 01:13:38,866 You have something going on with this skank? 1410 01:13:40,363 --> 01:13:43,037 Who are you calling a skank, you fucking bitch? 1411 01:13:43,574 --> 01:13:45,292 Whoa! Whoa! 1412 01:13:45,743 --> 01:13:46,915 Stop it! Stop! 1413 01:13:47,078 --> 01:13:48,079 Stop it! 1414 01:13:49,706 --> 01:13:51,458 OW! What the fuck? 1415 01:13:51,624 --> 01:13:53,797 That's my extension, you bitch! 1416 01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:55,587 You motherfucker! 1417 01:13:55,753 --> 01:13:58,006 No, Mia! Wait a minute! 1418 01:13:59,257 --> 01:14:02,227 By the way, I fucked Mario Lopez! 1419 01:14:06,723 --> 01:14:07,724 Ooh... 1420 01:14:10,643 --> 01:14:13,237 Okay, it's my turn now. 1421 01:14:13,396 --> 01:14:15,899 Uh-uh. Not this time. 1422 01:14:16,065 --> 01:14:17,863 Wait, what about our deal? 1423 01:14:18,026 --> 01:14:21,621 Now you know how it feels, Big Stiffy. 1424 01:14:28,786 --> 01:14:30,129 Gross! 1425 01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:37,661 Fucking yuck 1426 01:14:54,631 --> 01:14:57,885 You didn't actually think I'd fall asleep again, did you? 1427 01:14:58,051 --> 01:14:59,894 As long as you're mine, I'm happy. 1428 01:15:00,053 --> 01:15:01,771 Jesus, Kara. What are you doing here? 1429 01:15:01,930 --> 01:15:04,103 Your creepy friend invited me and all my girlfriends. 1430 01:15:04,265 --> 01:15:06,643 Nice outfit, by the way. Very kinky. 1431 01:15:07,519 --> 01:15:08,566 Oh, shit. 1432 01:15:08,770 --> 01:15:10,989 Don't worry. I locked it. 1433 01:15:13,566 --> 01:15:14,863 Oh, Jesus. 1434 01:15:18,488 --> 01:15:21,537 What the hell kind of freaky shit is going on in here? 1435 01:15:21,699 --> 01:15:22,951 AJ, what are you doing here? 1436 01:15:23,117 --> 01:15:24,994 I followed you. I had to see it with my own eyes. 1437 01:15:25,161 --> 01:15:28,791 First you fuck with my jet ski, then you fuck my girlfriend? 1438 01:15:28,957 --> 01:15:31,210 No! God, no! Nothing happened. 1439 01:15:31,376 --> 01:15:32,468 You're going down, Sandler. 1440 01:15:32,585 --> 01:15:34,053 Sandler? What the... 1441 01:15:34,212 --> 01:15:35,680 Jesus Christ! 1442 01:15:37,757 --> 01:15:39,100 I'm going to kill you! 1443 01:15:40,927 --> 01:15:43,100 Jim, what the fuck are you wearing? 1444 01:15:43,263 --> 01:15:45,686 Hey, I can explain everything! Jesus! 1445 01:15:46,474 --> 01:15:47,521 Come on! Shit! 1446 01:15:47,642 --> 01:15:49,189 Get up, gimp! 1447 01:15:49,352 --> 01:15:51,354 Come on, I'm not fighting you, okay? 1448 01:15:51,479 --> 01:15:53,026 This is silly. I'm an adult. 1449 01:15:53,189 --> 01:15:54,236 Oh, really? 1450 01:15:54,357 --> 01:15:56,325 Because to me you look like a little bitch pussy. 1451 01:15:57,485 --> 01:15:59,237 Don't be a pussy, Jim. 1452 01:15:59,404 --> 01:16:01,998 Look, AJ, just calm down, okay? 1453 01:16:02,156 --> 01:16:05,251 What makes you little fuckers think you can crash one of the Stifmeister's parties? 1454 01:16:05,952 --> 01:16:08,796 Did you just refer to yourself as "the Stifmeister"? 1455 01:16:08,955 --> 01:16:12,084 Because that's the lamest name ever! 1456 01:16:14,669 --> 01:16:16,797 I'm going to fucking kill you. 1457 01:16:16,963 --> 01:16:17,930 Bring it on. 1458 01:16:18,006 --> 01:16:19,508 Hey, Steve, come on, this is... 1459 01:16:24,846 --> 01:16:26,598 Where do you think you're going? 1460 01:16:31,519 --> 01:16:34,238 Don't mess with the Class of '99, bitch! 1461 01:16:35,440 --> 01:16:36,612 Finch! 1462 01:16:37,275 --> 01:16:38,447 Don't hurt my friend! 1463 01:16:53,374 --> 01:16:54,375 Hey! 1464 01:16:54,667 --> 01:16:57,716 Get off my husband, you little piece of shit! 1465 01:17:09,641 --> 01:17:12,645 Oh, crap! It's the fuzz! 1466 01:17:13,394 --> 01:17:15,613 We have to get out. How do you get out? 1467 01:17:15,813 --> 01:17:17,030 I need an escape route! 1468 01:17:17,190 --> 01:17:18,783 Oh, shit! 1469 01:17:18,900 --> 01:17:19,947 You want to be with him? 1470 01:17:20,026 --> 01:17:22,654 Fine! He's all yours. 1471 01:17:22,820 --> 01:17:24,242 Come on, man! 1472 01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:28,618 Jim, what's going on? 1473 01:17:28,785 --> 01:17:30,833 I am so sorry for all of this. I can explain. 1474 01:17:31,537 --> 01:17:33,835 Last night I ran into Kara, our neighbor. 1475 01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:37,089 She was too drunk to drive, so I drove her home. 1476 01:17:37,251 --> 01:17:42,052 And she started taking off her clothes, and touching my... 1477 01:17:42,382 --> 01:17:45,807 Okay, I know it doesn't sound good, but nothing happened, okay? 1478 01:17:45,968 --> 01:17:48,062 I don't care about her at all! 1479 01:17:48,221 --> 01:17:50,770 Thanks a lot. 1480 01:17:51,182 --> 01:17:53,685 No, no, Kara, wait. I didn't mean... 1481 01:17:53,851 --> 01:17:55,569 Wait, Michelle. Hold on, hold on. 1482 01:17:55,728 --> 01:17:57,150 It's not what you think, okay? 1483 01:17:57,313 --> 01:18:01,819 I swear, I was just trying to do the right thing, and I... 1484 01:18:01,901 --> 01:18:04,529 You have to believe me, Michelle, please. 1485 01:18:05,446 --> 01:18:08,575 Whether I believe you or not, 1486 01:18:08,783 --> 01:18:10,160 I'm disappointed. 1487 01:18:10,576 --> 01:18:13,045 I'm going to stay with my grandmother. 1488 01:18:13,204 --> 01:18:14,205 Hold it, Michelle. 1489 01:18:14,288 --> 01:18:15,289 No, Jim. 1490 01:18:15,915 --> 01:18:17,462 Hey, the fight's over, guys. 1491 01:18:17,625 --> 01:18:19,047 We're not here to stop a fight. 1492 01:18:19,293 --> 01:18:21,637 We're here about that stolen motorcycle. 1493 01:18:21,796 --> 01:18:23,469 Looks like the VIN numbers match up. 1494 01:18:23,631 --> 01:18:24,883 Paul Finch. 1495 01:18:25,049 --> 01:18:26,801 You're under arrest. 1496 01:18:28,136 --> 01:18:29,388 Awesome! 1497 01:18:29,721 --> 01:18:30,893 Excuse me, officer. 1498 01:18:30,972 --> 01:18:33,248 He won that bike betting on the World Cup in Argentina. 1499 01:18:33,249 --> 01:18:35,523 You made some sort of mistake. 1500 01:18:35,601 --> 01:18:37,569 Paul, what's going on? What is this about? 1501 01:18:37,854 --> 01:18:39,026 Paul. 1502 01:18:39,188 --> 01:18:40,485 Finch, just tell them. 1503 01:18:40,648 --> 01:18:41,820 Paul! 1504 01:18:43,067 --> 01:18:46,571 Hey, shitbreak, when you're getting rammed by your cellmate tonight, 1505 01:18:46,738 --> 01:18:47,864 think of Kevin. 1506 01:18:51,909 --> 01:18:53,911 Michelle, can I just... Please! 1507 01:18:57,832 --> 01:18:58,879 Oh! 1508 01:18:59,625 --> 01:19:00,672 Ah! 1509 01:19:01,544 --> 01:19:02,796 Dad? Ah! 1510 01:19:07,341 --> 01:19:08,342 Dad? 1511 01:19:09,260 --> 01:19:10,682 Dad, what are you doing? 1512 01:19:10,845 --> 01:19:13,598 You didn't see me! I'm not here! 1513 01:19:13,765 --> 01:19:14,937 I'm not here! 1514 01:19:16,517 --> 01:19:17,689 Is he all right? 1515 01:19:18,352 --> 01:19:20,025 I don't know. 1516 01:19:20,521 --> 01:19:22,023 What are we going to do about Finch? 1517 01:19:22,190 --> 01:19:24,443 Fuck Finch. Let him spend the night in jail. 1518 01:19:24,609 --> 01:19:25,826 Come on, Stifler! 1519 01:19:25,902 --> 01:19:27,119 Some friend you are. 1520 01:19:29,447 --> 01:19:30,915 What about you guys? 1521 01:19:31,115 --> 01:19:34,164 You don't call me, you don't e-mail, 1522 01:19:34,243 --> 01:19:36,371 you don't comment on my Facebook page. 1523 01:19:36,454 --> 01:19:38,752 You guys didn't even let me know you were coming back for the reunion. 1524 01:19:38,915 --> 01:19:42,215 Because we knew, somehow, you would find a way to screw things up. 1525 01:19:42,710 --> 01:19:44,383 Oh, I'm sorry, Jim. 1526 01:19:44,545 --> 01:19:46,138 I wanted us to have a fucking fun time 1527 01:19:46,214 --> 01:19:47,716 this weekend, like we did in high school. 1528 01:19:47,882 --> 01:19:49,884 But we're not in high school any more. 1529 01:19:50,051 --> 01:19:51,553 You are so trapped in the past, Stifler. 1530 01:19:51,719 --> 01:19:54,768 When are you going to realize that things will never be the way they used to be? 1531 01:20:01,896 --> 01:20:03,113 Fine. 1532 01:20:04,315 --> 01:20:06,113 Guess the party's over. 1533 01:20:08,402 --> 01:20:09,654 Dicks. 1534 01:20:42,186 --> 01:20:44,484 Well, that was a great party. 1535 01:20:44,939 --> 01:20:47,317 I honestly think I had fun. 1536 01:20:49,277 --> 01:20:51,996 Well, that makes one of us. 1537 01:20:54,323 --> 01:20:55,666 Have you heard from Michelle? 1538 01:20:55,825 --> 01:20:59,079 No. She doesn't want to talk to me. 1539 01:20:59,370 --> 01:21:01,168 What about the reunion tonight? 1540 01:21:01,247 --> 01:21:03,375 She said she may or may not come. 1541 01:21:03,541 --> 01:21:05,339 What's going on with you two? 1542 01:21:05,501 --> 01:21:07,048 Jim, is there anything you want to talk about? 1543 01:21:11,090 --> 01:21:12,262 Okay. 1544 01:21:13,009 --> 01:21:14,135 Um... 1545 01:21:15,344 --> 01:21:17,938 How often 1546 01:21:18,097 --> 01:21:21,442 did you and Mom... 1547 01:21:24,604 --> 01:21:25,901 You know? 1548 01:21:25,980 --> 01:21:28,074 Is that what this is about? 1549 01:21:28,149 --> 01:21:29,992 You and Michelle haven't been... 1550 01:21:30,151 --> 01:21:31,994 Not lately, no. 1551 01:21:32,069 --> 01:21:33,116 Oh... 1552 01:21:35,656 --> 01:21:37,499 ls it 1553 01:21:37,658 --> 01:21:39,160 an erectile problem? 1554 01:21:39,994 --> 01:21:44,340 Because sometimes you can buy a little time 1555 01:21:44,498 --> 01:21:45,795 with a well-placed thumb. 1556 01:21:45,875 --> 01:21:47,752 Oh, God. I'm just saying. 1557 01:21:47,835 --> 01:21:49,712 I don't think that's it. That's not it? 1558 01:21:50,004 --> 01:21:54,805 Oh! That's something to keep in your back pocket, because that's a no-fail. 1559 01:21:54,967 --> 01:21:56,640 Okay, let's be done with that. 1560 01:21:56,802 --> 01:22:00,227 No, things in that department were fine. 1561 01:22:01,432 --> 01:22:03,526 And then Evan was born 1562 01:22:03,726 --> 01:22:06,605 and we kind of stopped. 1563 01:22:06,854 --> 01:22:10,700 And they haven't really picked up since, you know? 1564 01:22:11,484 --> 01:22:14,738 This is not a problem, so do not worry. 1565 01:22:14,862 --> 01:22:16,705 You understand? Yeah, listen, Jim. 1566 01:22:16,864 --> 01:22:18,332 Before you were born, 1567 01:22:18,407 --> 01:22:21,377 your mother and I, we would do it every day. 1568 01:22:21,452 --> 01:22:22,453 I don't need this. 1569 01:22:22,536 --> 01:22:24,880 Sometimes two or three times a day. 1570 01:22:24,956 --> 01:22:28,551 This is back in the '70s. A lot of experimentation was going on. 1571 01:22:28,751 --> 01:22:33,473 Your mother favored something she called, "diving for dollars." 1572 01:22:33,714 --> 01:22:36,593 Holy shit. I'm sorry, I don't need... 1573 01:22:36,676 --> 01:22:39,054 That's fine, we can... 1574 01:22:39,220 --> 01:22:40,472 I don't have to go on with that. 1575 01:22:40,554 --> 01:22:46,027 But my point is, when you have a kid, you become a dad and a mom. 1576 01:22:46,394 --> 01:22:50,615 But it's very important not to stop being a husband and a wife. 1577 01:22:51,190 --> 01:22:54,740 And if you do that, the sex will come. 1578 01:22:56,821 --> 01:22:58,289 That actually makes a lot of sense. 1579 01:22:58,447 --> 01:23:01,826 But you can't just wait for the two of you to be alone. 1580 01:23:01,993 --> 01:23:05,463 You have to make your own alone time. 1581 01:23:05,663 --> 01:23:09,338 Why do you think you went to Hebrew school three times a week? 1582 01:23:09,500 --> 01:23:13,505 Sundays, noon to three? Tuesdays, four to seven? 1583 01:23:13,629 --> 01:23:14,926 Okay, I get it, Dad. 1584 01:23:15,006 --> 01:23:17,225 If you get it, then why the questions? 1585 01:23:17,383 --> 01:23:18,475 I'm sorry. 1586 01:23:18,551 --> 01:23:20,645 You're going through this, I am sorry. I should be listening. 1587 01:23:20,803 --> 01:23:23,807 No, I'm overreacting. I'm sorry. 1588 01:23:27,643 --> 01:23:29,361 Thank you. 1589 01:23:29,895 --> 01:23:31,818 Again. Really. 1590 01:23:35,234 --> 01:23:36,486 Anytime. 1591 01:23:41,323 --> 01:23:42,916 Welcome, you guys. 1592 01:23:42,992 --> 01:23:46,542 Listen, find your nametag, find out what table you're sitting at. 1593 01:23:46,620 --> 01:23:48,873 Ashley, so good to see you! Oh, my God. 1594 01:23:49,040 --> 01:23:52,089 Billy! Oh, my God, you're looking so svelte. 1595 01:23:52,251 --> 01:23:55,380 You used to be morbidly obese. I was concerned. 1596 01:23:55,463 --> 01:23:56,555 Hey. 1597 01:23:56,630 --> 01:23:57,722 Hey, guys. 1598 01:23:57,798 --> 01:23:59,471 Hey, Jim. Oz. 1599 01:23:59,759 --> 01:24:00,931 Where is Mia? 1600 01:24:01,010 --> 01:24:03,138 She flew out this morning. 1601 01:24:03,304 --> 01:24:05,648 Oh. I'm sorry, man. 1602 01:24:06,474 --> 01:24:07,521 What about Michelle? 1603 01:24:08,768 --> 01:24:10,645 I am not sure yet. 1604 01:24:11,353 --> 01:24:12,650 ALL; Finch! 1605 01:24:12,855 --> 01:24:16,200 What happened? I called the police department a thousand times. 1606 01:24:16,275 --> 01:24:21,156 I appreciate that, Kevin. But my mom, actually, bailed me out. 1607 01:24:22,907 --> 01:24:24,409 Guys, I screwed up. 1608 01:24:24,575 --> 01:24:26,669 That bike belongs to my boss. 1609 01:24:26,827 --> 01:24:31,173 And I was promised a raise, and I didn't get it, so I 1610 01:24:31,290 --> 01:24:32,542 simply borrowed it. 1611 01:24:33,334 --> 01:24:35,837 The truth is that my life isn't interesting at all. 1612 01:24:36,337 --> 01:24:40,342 I am an assistant manager at a Staples in Bayonne, New Jersey. 1613 01:24:40,591 --> 01:24:43,811 I lied to my best friends, and I'm sorry. 1614 01:24:45,221 --> 01:24:48,316 You know, Finch, just because you sold out 1615 01:24:48,390 --> 01:24:51,394 and got a boring job like most of us, 1616 01:24:51,477 --> 01:24:53,104 that doesn't mean you should be embarrassed. 1617 01:24:53,187 --> 01:24:55,781 Yeah, come on, man. None of that shit matters. 1618 01:24:56,857 --> 01:24:58,109 That means a lot, gentlemen. 1619 01:24:58,275 --> 01:24:59,652 What about your arm? 1620 01:24:59,735 --> 01:25:00,736 Oh. 1621 01:25:02,363 --> 01:25:05,116 I spilled coffee on myself while I was driving. 1622 01:25:05,282 --> 01:25:06,454 No. 1623 01:25:07,201 --> 01:25:08,874 It hurt like a bitch, though. 1624 01:25:08,994 --> 01:25:11,838 I'll bet. Jesus, Finch. 1625 01:25:12,206 --> 01:25:14,629 Oh, hey, check this out, you guys. 1626 01:25:15,960 --> 01:25:18,054 Crazy, huh? Look at us. 1627 01:25:18,212 --> 01:25:19,384 A lot of memories. 1628 01:25:21,382 --> 01:25:23,009 "Steve Stifler." 1629 01:25:23,968 --> 01:25:26,892 "Hopes to keep the party going with his boys." 1630 01:25:30,850 --> 01:25:32,602 Any sign of him yet? 1631 01:25:32,768 --> 01:25:34,486 I don't think he's going to show. 1632 01:25:50,035 --> 01:25:51,252 Stifler? 1633 01:25:55,332 --> 01:25:56,424 How'd you find me? 1634 01:25:56,584 --> 01:25:57,927 We asked your mom. 1635 01:25:58,752 --> 01:26:01,255 Oh, no. I didn't do anything. 1636 01:26:02,590 --> 01:26:07,346 We wanted to apologize for what we said last night. 1637 01:26:07,928 --> 01:26:08,929 We didn't mean it. 1638 01:26:10,347 --> 01:26:14,272 Yeah, you did. I get it, you guys think I'm a dick. 1639 01:26:18,939 --> 01:26:21,237 Okay. Well, 1640 01:26:22,109 --> 01:26:24,532 maybe you are kind of a dick. 1641 01:26:25,446 --> 01:26:26,538 But, 1642 01:26:27,531 --> 01:26:29,283 you're a fun dick. 1643 01:26:29,450 --> 01:26:32,499 And you're our dick. 1644 01:26:33,120 --> 01:26:37,967 Yeah, man. You were one of the biggest reasons that high school was awesome. 1645 01:26:38,125 --> 01:26:40,799 Yeah, high school was awesome. 1646 01:26:40,961 --> 01:26:43,760 Then we graduated and everybody started getting jobs 1647 01:26:43,923 --> 01:26:46,142 and getting married and having kids 1648 01:26:46,217 --> 01:26:48,595 and all that other stupid shit. 1649 01:26:48,761 --> 01:26:52,436 Now, look at me. I'm the bitch of this place. 1650 01:26:52,640 --> 01:26:54,608 Look, Stifler, none of our lives are perfect. 1651 01:26:54,767 --> 01:26:55,984 Especially mine. 1652 01:26:56,936 --> 01:27:01,316 But what do you say we keep this party going, and hit up this reunion together? 1653 01:27:03,150 --> 01:27:05,118 What the hell is going on here? 1654 01:27:05,861 --> 01:27:09,365 Oh, my God. This is the jackass. 1655 01:27:09,782 --> 01:27:12,251 You're not even close to being finished and you're up here 1656 01:27:12,326 --> 01:27:14,454 "chilling with your posse"? 1657 01:27:14,578 --> 01:27:15,795 Sorry, we can explain. 1658 01:27:15,955 --> 01:27:17,252 No, Kevin. 1659 01:27:18,666 --> 01:27:19,758 Allow me. 1660 01:27:19,833 --> 01:27:22,461 Yeah, Kevin, allow him. 1661 01:27:22,544 --> 01:27:23,761 This better be good, Stafler. 1662 01:27:24,338 --> 01:27:26,340 It's Stifler, fucker. 1663 01:27:26,674 --> 01:27:30,679 Oh, wow. Who the hell do you think you are? 1664 01:27:30,844 --> 01:27:34,348 Are you acting tough in front of your girlfriend? Huh? 1665 01:27:34,431 --> 01:27:36,433 Because we both know she's only with you for your money. 1666 01:27:37,268 --> 01:27:38,611 Definitely not for your dick. 1667 01:27:38,769 --> 01:27:40,612 Because anybody that's peed next to you 1668 01:27:40,688 --> 01:27:42,531 knows it's the size of a leprechaun's pinkie. 1669 01:27:44,108 --> 01:27:46,110 That's not true. 1670 01:27:46,193 --> 01:27:49,538 "That's not true." Oh, yeah, it is. 1671 01:27:50,625 --> 01:27:54,380 Look, just because you got a fancy office and I don't even have a desk 1672 01:27:54,545 --> 01:27:56,843 doesn't change who we really are. 1673 01:27:57,006 --> 01:28:00,556 The truth is, you're still a dork, 1674 01:28:00,718 --> 01:28:02,641 and I can still kick your ass. 1675 01:28:03,554 --> 01:28:05,227 But I'm not going to. 1676 01:28:05,389 --> 01:28:06,891 You know why? 1677 01:28:07,058 --> 01:28:09,026 Because I'm the fucking Stifmeister. 1678 01:28:09,227 --> 01:28:14,081 And if you even look at me again. I will shit in your briefcase 1679 01:28:14,502 --> 01:28:15,686 Dudes? 1680 01:28:22,147 --> 01:28:25,822 By the way, I had no clue what I was doing with any of this shit, 1681 01:28:25,984 --> 01:28:28,328 so you got a lot of work to do. 1682 01:29:03,021 --> 01:29:04,694 Surprise! Hey! You made it. 1683 01:29:04,856 --> 01:29:06,108 Of course. 1684 01:29:06,274 --> 01:29:07,401 What do you think about the Lions this year? 1685 01:29:07,402 --> 01:29:08,527 They got a shot? 1686 01:29:08,693 --> 01:29:11,071 We'll see if their offensive line can hold. 1687 01:29:11,238 --> 01:29:13,866 Are you planning on being on - All Stars? 1688 01:29:14,032 --> 01:29:15,955 I actually haven't thought much about that. 1689 01:29:16,118 --> 01:29:18,166 You should think about it. 1690 01:29:22,791 --> 01:29:26,136 I'm sorry, guys, you'll have to excuse me. 1691 01:29:30,715 --> 01:29:32,058 Can I cut in? 1692 01:29:32,634 --> 01:29:35,228 I don't know. Can you promise to keep your shirt on? 1693 01:29:36,096 --> 01:29:38,895 Come on, buddy, I'm busting balls. Huh? 1694 01:29:38,974 --> 01:29:41,068 Yeah, of course. 1695 01:29:41,393 --> 01:29:42,736 I'll get us some drinks. 1696 01:29:42,811 --> 01:29:43,937 Okay. 1697 01:29:45,730 --> 01:29:48,279 Hey. 1698 01:29:49,317 --> 01:29:51,615 Shouldn't you be dancing with your girlfriend? 1699 01:29:51,778 --> 01:29:52,779 Uh... 1700 01:29:53,905 --> 01:29:57,079 Mia and I are over. 1701 01:29:58,577 --> 01:30:03,253 She wanted me to be someone else. 1702 01:30:03,790 --> 01:30:07,465 Something that I don't want to be. 1703 01:30:08,587 --> 01:30:10,760 What do you want, Chris? 1704 01:30:11,256 --> 01:30:13,600 Heather, I want this. 1705 01:30:14,009 --> 01:30:15,306 I want us. 1706 01:30:16,761 --> 01:30:20,265 What about your career? LA? 1707 01:30:20,432 --> 01:30:23,732 Look, I know that it's crazy. 1708 01:30:23,894 --> 01:30:28,650 And I don't have all the answers right now, but I see you, 1709 01:30:30,025 --> 01:30:31,493 and I just know 1710 01:30:32,736 --> 01:30:33,908 I want you. 1711 01:30:35,447 --> 01:30:36,573 I love you. 1712 01:30:37,782 --> 01:30:39,159 I love you. 1713 01:30:46,124 --> 01:30:47,216 So, I'm skiing down a mountain. 1714 01:30:47,292 --> 01:30:48,635 Guy has a heart attack right there. 1715 01:30:48,793 --> 01:30:51,672 Saved his life. It was a big story, you can Google it. 1716 01:30:51,838 --> 01:30:52,964 Yeah, it was. 1717 01:30:53,131 --> 01:30:54,474 I bet. 1718 01:30:55,467 --> 01:30:57,640 Holy shit! Excuse me. 1719 01:30:57,802 --> 01:31:00,225 Hey, excuse me. What the hell is going on? 1720 01:31:00,639 --> 01:31:01,765 Ron, I can explain. 1721 01:31:01,848 --> 01:31:03,225 Seriously, this guy? 1722 01:31:03,391 --> 01:31:05,644 I'm a fucking heart surgeon, this guy's not even on ESPN. 1723 01:31:05,810 --> 01:31:07,608 Hey, take it easy, Ron. 1724 01:31:07,771 --> 01:31:10,115 What are you going to do? Hit me, Oz? Huh? 1725 01:31:10,273 --> 01:31:13,197 Oh, I got an idea. What about a dance-off? Huh? 1726 01:31:14,152 --> 01:31:16,996 This isn't a reality show, okay? This is the real world. 1727 01:31:17,155 --> 01:31:20,500 You take one swing at me, I will sue you for all you're worth. 1728 01:31:24,955 --> 01:31:27,424 I'm not worth jack shit, Dron. 1729 01:31:30,001 --> 01:31:31,218 I'm your dick. 1730 01:31:34,214 --> 01:31:35,261 Dropped him! 1731 01:31:35,340 --> 01:31:36,341 That was awesome! 1732 01:31:36,508 --> 01:31:38,681 Listen, we had a blast the other night. 1733 01:31:39,844 --> 01:31:42,313 Have you ever thought about being a party planner? 1734 01:31:42,847 --> 01:31:45,270 Because we want you to plan our wedding. 1735 01:31:45,350 --> 01:31:46,897 Say yes. 1736 01:31:47,894 --> 01:31:49,862 Yeah, yeah! I'd love to. 1737 01:31:49,938 --> 01:31:51,736 Nice! Oh, my God. 1738 01:31:51,898 --> 01:31:53,616 Thanks! This is great, man. 1739 01:31:53,775 --> 01:31:56,403 Thank you so much. Thank you, bro. 1740 01:31:56,569 --> 01:31:58,037 You're welcome. Thank you. 1741 01:32:03,827 --> 01:32:04,919 I have to tell you something. 1742 01:32:04,995 --> 01:32:06,121 You don't have to explain. 1743 01:32:06,705 --> 01:32:11,051 Look, Paul, I didn't like you because you climbed the Alps, 1744 01:32:11,209 --> 01:32:13,211 or killed a camel with your bare hands. 1745 01:32:13,545 --> 01:32:16,048 I liked you because you were still the same good guy 1746 01:32:16,131 --> 01:32:18,384 that was actually nice to me in high school. 1747 01:32:19,009 --> 01:32:20,261 I'm still that guy. 1748 01:32:20,677 --> 01:32:22,395 I really am. 1749 01:32:23,138 --> 01:32:25,857 You know, the last time I was here was for prom. 1750 01:32:27,100 --> 01:32:28,397 I didn't have a date. 1751 01:32:28,476 --> 01:32:29,728 Neither did I. 1752 01:32:32,397 --> 01:32:33,523 I have to get a drink. 1753 01:32:33,648 --> 01:32:35,150 What? 1754 01:32:35,317 --> 01:32:36,364 Was my dancing that bad? 1755 01:32:36,443 --> 01:32:37,490 Yeah. 1756 01:32:37,902 --> 01:32:39,575 Kev! Hey! 1757 01:32:39,654 --> 01:32:40,655 Hey, Jess! 1758 01:32:40,739 --> 01:32:42,537 Wow. Look, you have a beard! It looks great. 1759 01:32:42,615 --> 01:32:44,583 Thanks. I'm kidding. 1760 01:32:44,701 --> 01:32:47,079 Let's just get this out of the way. 1761 01:32:47,245 --> 01:32:48,872 I'm a lesbian now, and this is my girlfriend. 1762 01:32:48,873 --> 01:32:50,499 This is Ingrid. 1763 01:32:50,665 --> 01:32:52,383 Good to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. 1764 01:32:52,542 --> 01:32:55,216 Lesbians? I knew it! 1765 01:32:55,295 --> 01:32:57,093 Why don't you guys make out and prove it. 1766 01:32:57,255 --> 01:33:00,350 You must be Stifler. I've heard a lot about you. Ow! 1767 01:33:00,425 --> 01:33:01,893 Mostly negative. 1768 01:33:02,093 --> 01:33:04,187 Cool, dude. What the fuck? 1769 01:33:04,262 --> 01:33:06,105 Jessica, it's good to see you. 1770 01:33:06,222 --> 01:33:07,348 No, it wasn't. 1771 01:33:07,432 --> 01:33:08,558 What the... 1772 01:33:09,017 --> 01:33:11,770 Look, Kev, I think you should go talk to Vicky. 1773 01:33:12,020 --> 01:33:14,114 She's really upset over there. 1774 01:33:14,939 --> 01:33:17,033 Yeah, thanks. 1775 01:33:17,108 --> 01:33:18,485 Nice to meet you. 1776 01:33:18,568 --> 01:33:20,787 Be a real man, you have a beard now. 1777 01:33:24,741 --> 01:33:26,709 Kevin, don't. I'm fine. 1778 01:33:26,868 --> 01:33:30,463 Come on. I was a complete jerk last night. 1779 01:33:30,622 --> 01:33:33,501 I was just upset that you would think that I would do that 1780 01:33:33,666 --> 01:33:35,293 knowing that you're married. 1781 01:33:35,835 --> 01:33:37,508 I know you wouldn't. 1782 01:33:37,670 --> 01:33:41,265 Honestly, that was more about me being nervous. 1783 01:33:42,342 --> 01:33:46,438 Seeing you again, all these old feelings came up, and... 1784 01:33:46,596 --> 01:33:49,315 I don't know, I guess I just felt guilty. 1785 01:33:50,183 --> 01:33:54,359 But the fact that I still have feelings for you 1786 01:33:54,521 --> 01:33:57,274 just means that what we had was special. 1787 01:33:57,440 --> 01:33:59,317 Don't get me wrong, all right. 1788 01:33:59,484 --> 01:34:02,784 I love Ellie more than anything. 1789 01:34:02,946 --> 01:34:05,449 But no matter how much time passes 1790 01:34:06,199 --> 01:34:08,167 you'll always be my first love. 1791 01:34:11,204 --> 01:34:12,330 And you'll always be mine. 1792 01:34:12,997 --> 01:34:14,044 Kev. Hey. 1793 01:34:14,207 --> 01:34:16,175 You have to try these cupcakes, they're awesome. 1794 01:34:16,251 --> 01:34:18,379 Ellie, this is Vicky. 1795 01:34:18,628 --> 01:34:22,883 Oh, my God! The Vicky? Kevin has told me so much about you. 1796 01:34:23,007 --> 01:34:26,011 You're a really lucky girl. He's a great guy. 1797 01:34:27,262 --> 01:34:28,980 Come dance with us. No, it's okay. 1798 01:34:29,139 --> 01:34:31,892 Yes, come on, this is happening. Come on. 1799 01:35:11,556 --> 01:35:12,603 Hey. 1800 01:35:13,641 --> 01:35:14,642 Hey. 1801 01:35:18,062 --> 01:35:19,188 My name's Jim. 1802 01:35:20,148 --> 01:35:23,322 We were in Mr. Lee's English class together. 1803 01:35:23,568 --> 01:35:24,615 Really? 1804 01:35:25,403 --> 01:35:29,579 Yeah, I... Sorry, I don't remember you. 1805 01:35:29,782 --> 01:35:30,908 Okay. 1806 01:35:32,118 --> 01:35:35,622 I was the kid who everyone saw on the Internet. 1807 01:35:35,997 --> 01:35:36,998 Mmm. 1808 01:35:37,081 --> 01:35:40,301 Sorry, you're going to have to be more specific. 1809 01:35:40,460 --> 01:35:42,133 I pre-ejaculated twice. 1810 01:35:42,253 --> 01:35:43,755 Oh, Jim Levenstein! Right! 1811 01:35:43,838 --> 01:35:46,307 Levenstein. Yeah, Jim Levenstein. 1812 01:35:46,466 --> 01:35:48,969 Now I remember. Yeah. 1813 01:35:49,844 --> 01:35:52,267 So, how have you been since high school? 1814 01:35:52,639 --> 01:35:55,438 Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. Let's see. 1815 01:35:55,767 --> 01:35:56,768 Um... 1816 01:35:57,268 --> 01:35:58,269 Oh! 1817 01:36:00,939 --> 01:36:03,442 I married the most wonderful woman in the world. 1818 01:36:05,735 --> 01:36:07,453 And we have the cutest kid ever. 1819 01:36:08,821 --> 01:36:11,950 It sounds like things are perfect. 1820 01:36:12,784 --> 01:36:15,628 I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it perfect. 1821 01:36:16,871 --> 01:36:21,047 And that means being the sexiest husband possible. 1822 01:36:21,960 --> 01:36:23,086 Really? 1823 01:36:23,836 --> 01:36:25,179 Michelle, you look beautiful. 1824 01:36:25,547 --> 01:36:28,016 Oh, thanks. 1825 01:36:29,342 --> 01:36:30,810 Would you like to dance? 1826 01:36:31,386 --> 01:36:32,683 I'd love to. 1827 01:36:48,319 --> 01:36:49,320 Whoo! 1828 01:36:54,075 --> 01:36:55,247 Stifler. 1829 01:36:55,493 --> 01:36:58,087 Sherman? The Sherminator? 1830 01:36:58,621 --> 01:37:00,339 What the fuck have you been up to? 1831 01:37:00,498 --> 01:37:02,876 Married. Had a kid. 1832 01:37:03,042 --> 01:37:04,760 And divorced. 1833 01:37:05,169 --> 01:37:07,718 Oh! I'm sorry. 1834 01:37:07,880 --> 01:37:09,052 Yeah, I'm sure you are. 1835 01:37:09,132 --> 01:37:12,181 But, you know what, at least I got to keep little Furlong. 1836 01:37:13,344 --> 01:37:15,472 You named your kid after Eddie Furlong? 1837 01:37:15,847 --> 01:37:17,190 Yes, I did. You know why? 1838 01:37:17,348 --> 01:37:20,397 Because Terminator 2 is still the greatest film ever made. 1839 01:37:21,019 --> 01:37:24,523 Dude, you need to get banged bad. 1840 01:37:24,548 --> 01:37:28,461 I'm gonna help you out. Your cock can thank me later. What do you say? 1841 01:37:29,314 --> 01:37:32,219 No no. See I'm not going to fall for that again. 1842 01:37:32,609 --> 01:37:33,696 Come on. 1843 01:37:33,697 --> 01:37:35,982 I know I was a bit of a jerk back in the 1844 01:37:35,983 --> 01:37:38,045 day but I grown up a lot since then. 1845 01:37:38,320 --> 01:37:40,862 Please. Let me help you out. 1846 01:37:46,230 --> 01:37:52,435 Sigh. I'm just messing with you. Get over here you littile rascal. 1847 01:37:53,161 --> 01:37:56,791 Hey lets find you some puss-puss. Lets go 1848 01:38:02,209 --> 01:38:03,269 Okay, we have to get out of here. 1849 01:38:03,357 --> 01:38:04,894 It's about time. Yeah. 1850 01:38:10,183 --> 01:38:11,400 It's a lost cause. 1851 01:38:11,476 --> 01:38:14,229 All these women are either married or came with dates. 1852 01:38:15,647 --> 01:38:16,648 Hey, Loni. 1853 01:38:17,541 --> 01:38:21,045 Dude, how would you like to have your world blown? 1854 01:38:31,457 --> 01:38:33,926 Hasta la vista, Stifler. 1855 01:38:38,070 --> 01:38:41,745 Great, everybody's getting laid but me. 1856 01:38:41,907 --> 01:38:43,204 This sucks. 1857 01:38:43,367 --> 01:38:45,165 Excuse me. 1858 01:38:46,437 --> 01:38:48,314 Hi. Hi. 1859 01:38:48,481 --> 01:38:51,530 I'm looking for Paul Finch. Have you seen him anywhere? 1860 01:38:51,693 --> 01:38:53,411 What do you want with Finch? 1861 01:38:53,569 --> 01:38:56,664 I'm here to pick him up. I'm his mom. 1862 01:39:00,201 --> 01:39:01,418 Finch has a mom? 1863 01:39:03,705 --> 01:39:06,709 I mean, you're Finch's mom? 1864 01:39:07,542 --> 01:39:09,886 Yeah. Are you a friend of his? 1865 01:39:10,044 --> 01:39:11,136 Oh, yeah. 1866 01:39:12,255 --> 01:39:13,802 Paul is like my best friend. 1867 01:39:13,965 --> 01:39:18,220 I love him so much. More now than ever before. 1868 01:39:18,386 --> 01:39:21,765 In fact, I can't believe we haven't met. I'm Steven Stifler. 1869 01:39:24,684 --> 01:39:25,810 I'm Rachel. 1870 01:39:27,645 --> 01:39:29,693 What? What is it? 1871 01:39:29,856 --> 01:39:33,611 I just got this feeling like something really bad is about to happen. 1872 01:39:33,776 --> 01:39:38,657 Don't worry. I'll be as quiet as a church mouse. 1873 01:39:43,244 --> 01:39:44,336 Oh, Jim! 1874 01:39:48,374 --> 01:39:49,421 Oh! 1875 01:39:51,836 --> 01:39:52,837 I want you so bad. 1876 01:39:52,920 --> 01:39:54,593 Oh, you have no idea! 1877 01:39:55,423 --> 01:39:57,471 Oh, God! Oh, God! 1878 01:39:57,633 --> 01:40:01,183 Oh, God, there it is. I don't think I can hold it any more. 1879 01:40:01,262 --> 01:40:02,263 Hold it in! 1880 01:40:02,346 --> 01:40:04,394 I'm sorry, I will. 1881 01:40:04,515 --> 01:40:05,687 I just forgot how awesome this is. 1882 01:40:05,808 --> 01:40:07,981 Oh, yeah, I need this. 1883 01:40:10,772 --> 01:40:13,446 Oh, God, Michelle! Fuck, I love you! 1884 01:40:13,524 --> 01:40:14,776 Jim? 1885 01:40:16,861 --> 01:40:17,862 Nadia? 1886 01:40:20,072 --> 01:40:21,073 Hey. 1887 01:40:22,116 --> 01:40:25,290 I'm sorry. You are busy, yes? 1888 01:40:26,120 --> 01:40:27,212 No. Yes. 1889 01:40:27,288 --> 01:40:28,460 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1890 01:40:29,123 --> 01:40:32,127 Nadia, it's so nice to see you. 1891 01:40:32,502 --> 01:40:35,176 But do you think you could give us a minute? 1892 01:40:35,338 --> 01:40:36,305 Three. 1893 01:40:36,380 --> 01:40:37,381 Three minutes. 1894 01:40:37,548 --> 01:40:41,178 Okay! So nice you are still together. 1895 01:40:41,260 --> 01:40:42,261 Aw! 1896 01:40:42,345 --> 01:40:44,723 And I see you've gotten much better at this. 1897 01:40:45,431 --> 01:40:47,684 Well, thanks. 1898 01:40:52,563 --> 01:40:55,112 That's Jim? He looks nothing like me. 1899 01:40:56,943 --> 01:41:02,074 You know, when I was in high school, I dated a lacrosse player. 1900 01:41:02,323 --> 01:41:04,200 In fact, I dated a few of them. 1901 01:41:04,367 --> 01:41:06,369 You don't say. 1902 01:41:06,536 --> 01:41:09,710 I always wanted Paul to be more into sports. 1903 01:41:09,872 --> 01:41:12,591 But he was never that interested. 1904 01:41:13,084 --> 01:41:14,757 You don't have to sugarcoat it. 1905 01:41:14,919 --> 01:41:16,262 Finch was a klutz. 1906 01:41:18,756 --> 01:41:21,680 Yeah, I guess he was, but he did not get that from me. 1907 01:41:21,884 --> 01:41:24,763 I was head cheerleader. 1908 01:41:25,096 --> 01:41:28,100 And if there's anything I learned from lacrosse players, 1909 01:41:28,266 --> 01:41:31,816 it's that I like to handle a stick 1910 01:41:33,479 --> 01:41:36,028 and cradle those balls. 1911 01:41:39,277 --> 01:41:40,494 I love you. 1912 01:41:41,445 --> 01:41:43,743 Are you ready for me, Stifler? 1913 01:41:48,202 --> 01:41:49,454 Oh, yeah! 1914 01:41:51,038 --> 01:41:52,631 Let's go. 1915 01:41:52,790 --> 01:41:54,713 Oh, Michelle. 1916 01:41:54,876 --> 01:41:56,799 Oh, God, Michelle. 1917 01:41:57,378 --> 01:41:59,801 You are amazing! 1918 01:42:00,172 --> 01:42:01,640 Better than the bathtub? 1919 01:42:01,716 --> 01:42:02,763 Much. 1920 01:42:04,552 --> 01:42:06,179 Better than this? 1921 01:42:06,637 --> 01:42:07,729 Ooh! 1922 01:42:11,058 --> 01:42:12,560 Of course. 1923 01:42:14,061 --> 01:42:15,984 Oh, take those off! 1924 01:42:16,147 --> 01:42:17,444 We shouldn't be doing this. 1925 01:42:17,607 --> 01:42:18,699 Yes, we should. 1926 01:42:18,774 --> 01:42:20,617 Oh, Stifler. 1927 01:42:20,776 --> 01:42:22,323 Oh, Finch's mom! 1928 01:42:23,821 --> 01:42:25,164 Call me the Stifmeister! 1929 01:42:25,323 --> 01:42:27,746 Yeah, you are the Stifmeister. 1930 01:42:29,243 --> 01:42:30,495 MILF? 1931 01:42:37,168 --> 01:42:38,761 Oh, Finch's mom! 1932 01:42:39,003 --> 01:42:40,050 MILF. 1933 01:42:41,631 --> 01:42:42,678 MILF. 1934 01:42:46,427 --> 01:42:47,770 Tell me I'm the best. 1935 01:42:47,845 --> 01:42:49,518 You are the best! 1936 01:42:50,348 --> 01:42:51,395 MILF. 1937 01:42:52,642 --> 01:42:54,019 MILF. MILF. 1938 01:42:55,645 --> 01:42:56,862 Oh, Finch's mom! 1939 01:42:57,480 --> 01:43:02,486 MILF! MILF! MILF! 1940 01:43:04,862 --> 01:43:06,330 Yes! Yes! 1941 01:43:06,405 --> 01:43:07,827 Oh, your son's such a dork! 1942 01:43:07,907 --> 01:43:09,830 Stop talking about him! 1943 01:43:12,244 --> 01:43:14,918 Well, our first reunion is officially in the books. 1944 01:43:15,081 --> 01:43:18,301 I don't know about you guys, but my night ended pretty well. 1945 01:43:18,459 --> 01:43:19,551 It was great. 1946 01:43:19,627 --> 01:43:20,970 I had a blast. It was unforgettable. 1947 01:43:21,045 --> 01:43:22,763 Fuck yeah! I jizzed like a racehorse. 1948 01:43:23,464 --> 01:43:25,137 What happened to you at the end of the night, Stifler? 1949 01:43:25,216 --> 01:43:26,513 Who did you end up with? 1950 01:43:26,592 --> 01:43:29,345 A gentleman never kisses and tells, Jim. 1951 01:43:32,223 --> 01:43:33,270 Guys? 1952 01:43:35,351 --> 01:43:37,228 I'll be right back, okay? 1953 01:43:41,148 --> 01:43:42,240 Kara! 1954 01:43:48,781 --> 01:43:50,875 HEY-HEY... 1955 01:43:51,659 --> 01:43:54,333 Look, I'm sorry about what I said the other night. 1956 01:43:54,495 --> 01:43:57,874 No, I'm the one who should be apologizing. 1957 01:43:58,040 --> 01:44:00,168 I can't believe the way I acted. I'm so embarrassed. 1958 01:44:00,251 --> 01:44:01,798 Don't be. 1959 01:44:02,211 --> 01:44:05,511 When I was your age I was pretty obsessed with sex, too. 1960 01:44:05,589 --> 01:44:06,681 I know. 1961 01:44:07,717 --> 01:44:08,809 I've seen the YouTube clip. 1962 01:44:09,301 --> 01:44:11,770 Oh, of course you did. 1963 01:44:11,929 --> 01:44:14,148 But, thanks for understanding. 1964 01:44:14,306 --> 01:44:17,105 I was thinking about it, and you're right. 1965 01:44:17,268 --> 01:44:18,895 I should really wait for someone special. 1966 01:44:20,604 --> 01:44:23,608 Just, it's going to be tough to find a guy as good as you. 1967 01:44:27,028 --> 01:44:28,120 I'm sure you will. 1968 01:44:34,952 --> 01:44:37,046 I feel like a whole new man after this weekend. 1969 01:44:37,121 --> 01:44:38,589 Kind of sucks we have to leave, though. 1970 01:44:38,664 --> 01:44:41,793 Not me. I'm going to take some time off my job 1971 01:44:41,876 --> 01:44:43,719 and stick around here with Heather for a while. 1972 01:44:43,794 --> 01:44:44,886 Nice! 1973 01:44:44,962 --> 01:44:46,088 What about you, Finch? 1974 01:44:46,172 --> 01:44:49,392 Selena and I, we're planning a little jaunt to Europe. 1975 01:44:49,550 --> 01:44:52,144 Just make sure you call your mom. She misses you. 1976 01:44:53,012 --> 01:44:54,389 How would you know? 1977 01:44:56,182 --> 01:44:57,183 Oh... 1978 01:45:00,311 --> 01:45:02,234 I guess this is it, huh? Back to reality? 1979 01:45:02,396 --> 01:45:04,148 We shouldn't wait until the next reunion. 1980 01:45:04,315 --> 01:45:07,410 We should try to get together every year. 1981 01:45:07,526 --> 01:45:10,154 What do you say, until next time? 1982 01:45:10,237 --> 01:45:12,410 Until next time. Until next time! 1983 01:45:22,124 --> 01:45:23,421 I fucked Finch's mom. 1984 01:45:23,542 --> 01:45:24,839 What? 1985 01:45:24,960 --> 01:45:26,303 What was that? 1986 01:46:48,377 --> 01:46:49,378 Hmm? 1987 01:46:50,045 --> 01:46:51,422 What's this? 1988 01:46:52,756 --> 01:46:54,508 Oh, no, dean No, no, no. 1989 01:46:54,675 --> 01:46:56,518 No, dear. No! 1990 01:46:56,594 --> 01:46:57,595 Oh! 1991 01:47:03,475 --> 01:47:04,476 Oh... 1992 01:47:05,227 --> 01:47:08,276 Oh. Oh. Oh. 1993 01:47:08,522 --> 01:47:11,867 Ah. Oh. Oh. 1994 01:47:12,276 --> 01:47:15,155 Oh, boy. Oh, boy! Oh, boy! 1995 01:47:15,362 --> 01:47:17,456 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1996 01:47:18,115 --> 01:47:19,708 Oh! Oh! 1997 01:47:19,783 --> 01:47:21,831 Oh, my God! 1998 01:47:22,203 --> 01:47:23,625 Ah! 1999 01:47:28,687 --> 01:47:29,426 Great movie. 2001 01:47:30,000 --> 01:47:33,098 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 140291

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