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1
00:00:00,613 --> 00:00:02,905
Previously, on United
States of Tara...
2
00:00:03,073 --> 00:00:04,802
I'm kinda worried
about Max, though.
3
00:00:04,885 --> 00:00:06,951
The alters have been
coming on to him.
4
00:00:07,119 --> 00:00:09,495
I've been reading a tasteful
guide to the french arts.
5
00:00:09,663 --> 00:00:12,015
He says he respects our agreement
and doesn't sleep with them,
6
00:00:12,098 --> 00:00:13,805
but I don't know... I
think he's tempted.
7
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:16,001
It's been too long since
we did any manly stuff.
8
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:19,026
All we do now is nurse
trees and shit.
9
00:00:19,109 --> 00:00:20,756
We're landscapers, asshole.
10
00:00:20,924 --> 00:00:24,343
Are you hiring? I'd like to
fill out an application.
11
00:00:24,511 --> 00:00:25,653
I think he's nice.
12
00:00:25,736 --> 00:00:28,931
I'm workin' on this experimental
theater thing right now.
13
00:00:29,099 --> 00:00:30,433
You should come check it out.
14
00:00:30,516 --> 00:00:32,369
Hell House? Is that
the name of the play?
15
00:00:32,452 --> 00:00:34,478
Hi! Tiffany St. John.
16
00:00:34,646 --> 00:00:37,648
This part over here, the water, would
have kind of a trompe-l'oeil type feel.
17
00:00:37,816 --> 00:00:38,858
I am impressed.
18
00:00:39,026 --> 00:00:41,402
I know about the
multiple personalities.
19
00:00:41,570 --> 00:00:44,530
You know, you've conquered it with
your creativity and your talent.
20
00:00:44,698 --> 00:00:46,782
- What are you doin'?
- Trying to get laid.
21
00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:48,701
I gotta get these
concepts mocked up.
22
00:00:48,869 --> 00:00:50,589
Charmaine actually did
me a favor for once.
23
00:00:50,704 --> 00:00:53,122
It's a mural, too, not
some boring bathroom job.
24
00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:54,453
Hey.
25
00:00:55,167 --> 00:00:57,209
You and me tomorrow night.
26
00:00:57,732 --> 00:00:59,732
I might even bring some props.
27
00:02:01,342 --> 00:02:02,992
I don't believe in God.
28
00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:04,717
I wish I did.
29
00:02:05,487 --> 00:02:07,118
Hail Mary, full of grace,
30
00:02:07,201 --> 00:02:08,607
the Lord is with Thee.
31
00:02:08,690 --> 00:02:10,741
Alice believes in God.
32
00:02:10,909 --> 00:02:12,536
Blessed art Thou amongst women,
33
00:02:12,619 --> 00:02:15,019
and blessed is the
fruit of Thy womb.
34
00:02:16,565 --> 00:02:18,615
I don't know what I believe in.
35
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:22,541
Yes, I do.
36
00:02:23,533 --> 00:02:24,333
Faith.
37
00:02:25,247 --> 00:02:26,147
And art.
38
00:02:26,878 --> 00:02:29,328
Not that what I do
is art or anything.
39
00:02:32,928 --> 00:02:35,628
This one here is for
national colitis week.
40
00:02:38,264 --> 00:02:40,817
Hadassah plant a tree drive.
41
00:02:41,088 --> 00:02:43,062
Seem to be on some list
for people who need
42
00:02:43,145 --> 00:02:45,720
gigantic fundraising
thermometers.
43
00:02:59,257 --> 00:03:00,857
But once in a while...
44
00:03:01,718 --> 00:03:03,218
What you do for work
45
00:03:04,264 --> 00:03:06,005
is also what you do for love.
46
00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:12,636
And when that happens...
47
00:03:14,005 --> 00:03:15,105
it's heaven.
48
00:03:24,256 --> 00:03:25,712
Max? You up?
49
00:03:46,555 --> 00:03:48,005
I didn't mean to...
50
00:03:48,509 --> 00:03:50,506
I didn't realize you
were, you know...
51
00:03:50,589 --> 00:03:52,745
Having your gentleman's time.
52
00:03:53,219 --> 00:03:55,666
Which is fine. I think
it's fantastic.
53
00:03:58,648 --> 00:03:59,349
What?
54
00:03:59,517 --> 00:04:01,246
Where'd you get the
term gentleman's time?
55
00:04:01,329 --> 00:04:02,269
I made it up.
56
00:04:02,879 --> 00:04:04,911
- Right now. Just now.
- Well, yeah.
57
00:04:05,343 --> 00:04:08,681
- I didn't know, so...
- No, no, it's good. I like it. It's...
58
00:04:08,764 --> 00:04:10,164
very Rhett Butler.
59
00:04:10,737 --> 00:04:12,523
Fetch me some brandy and cigars.
60
00:04:12,606 --> 00:04:15,032
I'm preparing myself
a gentleman's time.
61
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:19,954
- Why? 'Cause we're not having...
- Somethin' like that.
62
00:04:22,516 --> 00:04:25,866
That's a... interesting
question you pose, little lady.
63
00:04:26,544 --> 00:04:30,505
Some day when women have the
vote, we'll have to discuss it.
64
00:04:30,673 --> 00:04:33,940
Until then, I'll just be in
the library with the colonel
65
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:35,873
having my gentleman's time.
66
00:04:40,743 --> 00:04:43,398
Okay, camping trip check.
Book fair pledge.
67
00:04:43,714 --> 00:04:46,906
And if you could tell Laurie Marvin
she can shove her PTA Blood Drive
68
00:04:46,989 --> 00:04:49,139
out her hideous
reworked snout...
69
00:04:50,065 --> 00:04:53,615
Only kidding. teo to four shift.
Plus, I'm making bloodies.
70
00:04:53,813 --> 00:04:55,392
So eat that, Alice.
71
00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:57,090
Like your glasses.
72
00:04:57,421 --> 00:04:59,809
Why's your sister
wearing dark glasses?
73
00:05:00,161 --> 00:05:01,322
Shade out drugs today.
74
00:05:01,405 --> 00:05:03,997
Tomorrow's put a cap on drugs.
We have to wear a hat.
75
00:05:04,165 --> 00:05:06,652
- Look at you with the school spirit!
- Not really.
76
00:05:06,735 --> 00:05:09,162
She's just doing it because
otherwise we'd get detention.
77
00:05:09,245 --> 00:05:12,495
- Fucking benedict dushbag.
- Is this form for school?
78
00:05:13,039 --> 00:05:14,589
No, actually. It's...
79
00:05:14,936 --> 00:05:18,336
It's a parental consent for
this theater thing I'm doing.
80
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,029
What theater thing?
81
00:05:20,408 --> 00:05:23,225
It's for Halloween. It's like
a haunted house kind of deal.
82
00:05:23,393 --> 00:05:25,268
- Wait, is it a Hell House?
- A what?
83
00:05:25,436 --> 00:05:27,771
This evangelical play that they
use to scare kids straight.
84
00:05:27,939 --> 00:05:30,042
Maybe you can be a gang raper?
85
00:05:30,125 --> 00:05:30,775
No.
86
00:05:31,745 --> 00:05:34,523
Let's see, it says here,
"Youth quakin', soul shakin'"
87
00:05:34,606 --> 00:05:38,240
"keep you from wakin' up
Satan's bacon cutting edge"
88
00:05:38,408 --> 00:05:40,242
"evangelism tool of the'90s."
89
00:05:40,802 --> 00:05:43,986
- They oughta change that right now.
- I'm just doing it to infiltrate.
90
00:05:44,069 --> 00:05:46,414
I'm writing an extra credit
expose for social studies.
91
00:05:46,582 --> 00:05:49,862
Marshy, I think you're a liar. I
think you're joining the God squad
92
00:05:49,945 --> 00:05:52,003
in order to get closer to Jason.
93
00:05:52,712 --> 00:05:54,172
And mystery solved.
94
00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:56,132
His dad's the pastor.
95
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:57,384
Oh, my God!
96
00:05:57,552 --> 00:05:59,506
I can't wait to dance at
your ass pirate wedding!
97
00:05:59,589 --> 00:06:00,639
Hey, knock it off!
98
00:06:00,805 --> 00:06:03,800
If Marshall wants to put his time into
this, I'm sure he has a very good reason.
99
00:06:03,883 --> 00:06:05,475
Yeah. Cock!
100
00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:07,966
Okay, Marsh, am I dropping you?
I gotta go.
101
00:06:08,049 --> 00:06:09,187
Yes. Please.
102
00:06:11,598 --> 00:06:12,598
Hey, Neil.
103
00:06:15,413 --> 00:06:16,622
Neil. Neil!
104
00:06:16,778 --> 00:06:18,238
I can't understand you, Neil.
105
00:06:18,733 --> 00:06:21,280
I guess marijuana is a
gateway drug after all.
106
00:06:21,363 --> 00:06:23,686
Why'd he call you from
the Ikea parking lot?
107
00:06:23,769 --> 00:06:25,711
Olive garden waitress
wouldn't go home with him,
108
00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:28,065
so he drove three feet
and passed out. Fuck!
109
00:06:28,148 --> 00:06:29,853
This is a new client.
Huge property.
110
00:06:29,936 --> 00:06:32,986
How am I gonna aerate this
lady's lawn in one day?
111
00:06:33,605 --> 00:06:37,305
Was that rhetorical? Because it
sounded euphemistically filthy.
112
00:06:39,855 --> 00:06:40,605
What?
113
00:06:41,679 --> 00:06:44,396
No! Dad... I have a quiz
in french fourth period.
114
00:06:44,479 --> 00:06:46,779
I'll get you back in time.
Come on.
115
00:06:48,419 --> 00:06:49,853
- Fine.
- Yeah! Knuckles.
116
00:06:50,232 --> 00:06:52,406
My man! All right.
117
00:06:56,638 --> 00:07:00,422
Now, you know what, honey? It's
not saturation. It's timing.
118
00:07:00,505 --> 00:07:02,962
They don't want us in Uganda?
Coolio, okay?
119
00:07:03,045 --> 00:07:05,056
But don't you tell me that
we're done in Winnipeg,
120
00:07:05,139 --> 00:07:08,489
because that's just fear
talking, and I don't play that.
121
00:07:10,225 --> 00:07:12,083
Okay, honey, can
I buzz you back?
122
00:07:12,251 --> 00:07:15,420
That's Jeff from the president's team.
Okay, bye, honey.
123
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,703
Hey, himbo, give
me the good news.
124
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:20,698
Awesome. Okay, book it and cook it.
I'll talk to you soon.
125
00:07:20,781 --> 00:07:21,772
Okay, bye.
126
00:07:22,899 --> 00:07:24,958
Oh... my God!
127
00:07:25,635 --> 00:07:26,792
I came home late,
128
00:07:26,875 --> 00:07:29,449
so I didn't get to see
what you did yesterday!
129
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,637
Oh, it's amazing. I love it!
130
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,313
It's like... It's glowing.
131
00:07:33,481 --> 00:07:35,281
I put mica in the pigment.
132
00:07:35,947 --> 00:07:37,255
You know, I am so glad
133
00:07:37,338 --> 00:07:40,095
You got me to go with
inspiration over motivation.
134
00:07:40,178 --> 00:07:43,053
Oh, God, I just wanna
live in there, right?
135
00:07:43,136 --> 00:07:45,825
Are your other personalities
all so talented?
136
00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:48,443
Well, Alice plays the piano.
137
00:07:48,526 --> 00:07:49,945
She's not very good, apparently.
138
00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:52,178
Just moves her
arms around a lot.
139
00:07:53,658 --> 00:07:56,312
You need to keep that rock.
I mean it.
140
00:07:56,395 --> 00:07:58,338
People always pick
the one they need.
141
00:07:59,177 --> 00:08:01,412
Who is at our door?
142
00:08:02,464 --> 00:08:04,425
- Hey.
- Hey, sugar, come on in.
143
00:08:04,508 --> 00:08:08,133
- How's it going?
- Well, I only have four RSVP,
144
00:08:08,216 --> 00:08:12,004
so maybe I could get another
week before the BYYCB party.
145
00:08:12,087 --> 00:08:13,509
Oh, hey... Tara.
146
00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:17,482
That's the "Best You,
You Can Be" party.
147
00:08:18,952 --> 00:08:22,184
I already invited you, but you said
you don't have disposable income.
148
00:08:22,267 --> 00:08:24,400
Okay, let me see
these work sheets.
149
00:08:25,241 --> 00:08:26,952
Okay, why is this
one crossed out?
150
00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:30,656
I talked past the "yes".
151
00:08:30,739 --> 00:08:33,227
Okay, all right. Now,
you listen to me.
152
00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:35,664
I am not gonna say that
this isn't gonna be hard,
153
00:08:35,747 --> 00:08:38,702
because to do anything
of measure takes work.
154
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,702
But you can either
stand here and say,
155
00:08:40,785 --> 00:08:43,558
"Why is everything
always happening to me?"
156
00:08:43,641 --> 00:08:45,866
Or you can take control
157
00:08:45,949 --> 00:08:50,010
and see what your life can become
when you really let your light shine.
158
00:08:50,093 --> 00:08:51,543
That's what I want.
159
00:08:53,193 --> 00:08:55,103
I'll come to your
party, Charmie.
160
00:08:55,551 --> 00:08:56,782
You see that?
161
00:08:56,865 --> 00:08:59,515
- All right, now go pick out a rock.
- Okay.
162
00:09:01,403 --> 00:09:03,194
So she's recommended me
163
00:09:03,362 --> 00:09:05,395
to this head honcho, at
the world headquarters
164
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,793
to do something in the
executive dining room,
165
00:09:07,876 --> 00:09:10,471
which is so generous.
166
00:09:10,554 --> 00:09:13,037
Tiffany must be very
pleased with your work.
167
00:09:13,205 --> 00:09:14,267
Yeah!
168
00:09:16,885 --> 00:09:18,960
Is that hard for you
to admit to yourself?
169
00:09:19,128 --> 00:09:20,068
No.
170
00:09:21,254 --> 00:09:22,204
I mean...
171
00:09:23,273 --> 00:09:24,423
It is, but...
172
00:09:25,751 --> 00:09:27,351
And worse than that...
173
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,650
When I was driving here
today, I had this...
174
00:09:31,489 --> 00:09:32,389
feeling.
175
00:09:33,404 --> 00:09:35,444
You're gonna think I'm insane.
176
00:09:35,527 --> 00:09:37,527
Well, I'm sure you already do.
177
00:09:38,354 --> 00:09:39,454
It's just...
178
00:09:40,035 --> 00:09:42,535
I haven't had a real
friend in so long,
179
00:09:43,422 --> 00:09:45,472
it's kinda scary to be hopeful.
180
00:09:45,829 --> 00:09:47,905
Don't even wanna
say it out loud.
181
00:09:48,248 --> 00:09:51,043
Well... People who've
been through trauma
182
00:09:51,126 --> 00:09:53,019
don't believe they're lovable.
183
00:09:53,102 --> 00:09:56,590
You've been carrying that negative
programming for a long time, so
184
00:09:56,673 --> 00:09:59,542
it's gonna take a while for you
to really trust a new person.
185
00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:02,314
I just wish I had more of a
handle on what happened to me.
186
00:10:02,397 --> 00:10:03,849
Well, your alters know.
187
00:10:03,932 --> 00:10:06,706
That's why the system was
created, to protect you.
188
00:10:06,789 --> 00:10:10,288
So you could live through school,
so you could go to college,
189
00:10:10,371 --> 00:10:13,306
so that you could
meet and marry Max,
190
00:10:13,389 --> 00:10:15,409
and raise those amazing kids.
191
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:20,468
I'm sorry my parts are so shy
about coming out in here. It's...
192
00:10:20,551 --> 00:10:22,451
We have lots of time, honey.
193
00:10:23,573 --> 00:10:24,442
Maybe...
194
00:10:25,264 --> 00:10:25,964
Tara
195
00:10:26,878 --> 00:10:29,447
needs space to take it all in.
196
00:10:29,615 --> 00:10:32,575
- Take all what in?
- Well, look at you.
197
00:10:32,743 --> 00:10:36,095
You're facing life head-on.
You've got satisfying work,
198
00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:37,953
you've got a new friend.
199
00:10:38,036 --> 00:10:40,041
You should be so
proud of yourself!
200
00:10:43,405 --> 00:10:44,555
So is this...
201
00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:48,507
Does this qualify
as a breakthrough?
202
00:10:49,768 --> 00:10:50,859
You bet!
203
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,207
Well, smell me!
204
00:10:55,641 --> 00:10:58,445
Okay, then when you get going,
you just drop this down.
205
00:10:58,528 --> 00:11:00,561
- Whoa, nelly!
- Give it some gas.
206
00:11:01,656 --> 00:11:03,056
Yeah, there ya go!
207
00:11:04,983 --> 00:11:07,372
- Look at this!
- Rock and roll!
208
00:11:12,697 --> 00:11:13,657
Slow down.
209
00:11:23,201 --> 00:11:23,912
Dad!
210
00:11:25,487 --> 00:11:26,887
I had one in here.
211
00:11:27,255 --> 00:11:28,405
Motherfucker!
212
00:11:28,638 --> 00:11:29,938
In my briefcase.
213
00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:44,565
- Fuck!
- One, two, three, four,
214
00:11:44,648 --> 00:11:49,512
five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten.
215
00:11:49,595 --> 00:11:51,487
Okay. All right.
216
00:11:51,655 --> 00:11:54,635
- Whoo, my arms!
- I know!
217
00:11:54,718 --> 00:11:57,162
Guys, we are doing so great!
218
00:11:57,461 --> 00:12:00,079
Remember, anything of measure
takes work, doesn't it?
219
00:12:00,247 --> 00:12:01,166
Fuck, yeah!
220
00:12:01,249 --> 00:12:03,282
Also remember that
whichever one of you
221
00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:07,212
does the most cars gets this
very posh Vita-self hoodie
222
00:12:07,295 --> 00:12:09,406
in addition to the
cash I'm giving you.
223
00:12:10,806 --> 00:12:12,331
Are these yours?
224
00:12:12,414 --> 00:12:15,554
- Yeah. Is there a problem?
- We do Vita-self here.
225
00:12:15,637 --> 00:12:18,825
- It's our mall.
- It's everybody's mall, Sudoku.
226
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,031
All right, it's your mall.
227
00:12:22,114 --> 00:12:23,164
No problem.
228
00:12:23,803 --> 00:12:25,003
It's all good.
229
00:12:25,298 --> 00:12:27,036
Get the fucking flyers.
230
00:12:27,119 --> 00:12:27,919
Sorry.
231
00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:31,459
I know, it...
232
00:12:34,382 --> 00:12:36,682
- I think that's enough, Mom.
- Okay.
233
00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:39,250
Oh, God, you should rest up.
234
00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:42,785
Yeah, I'm just gonna watch brief
encounter, and cool my heels.
235
00:12:42,824 --> 00:12:43,574
Nice.
236
00:12:45,374 --> 00:12:48,491
And Mom, it was pretty fun
until my throat closed up.
237
00:12:48,574 --> 00:12:50,087
So don't chew Dad a new one.
238
00:12:51,194 --> 00:12:52,964
I wish you would. It'd
make me feel better.
239
00:12:53,091 --> 00:12:54,401
I don't have the energy.
240
00:12:54,484 --> 00:12:56,891
Yeah, you do. He's allergic,
and I lost my EpiPen.
241
00:12:56,974 --> 00:12:58,791
Plus, you took him
out of school.
242
00:12:58,874 --> 00:13:01,251
- So you are mad.
- Of course I'm mad.
243
00:13:01,334 --> 00:13:03,131
He could have been really hurt.
244
00:13:03,214 --> 00:13:04,864
What were you thinking?
245
00:13:05,224 --> 00:13:08,574
I'm not the only one that's
ever screwed up around here.
246
00:13:09,104 --> 00:13:11,561
- You wanna give me the laundry list?
- No, I don't.
247
00:13:11,644 --> 00:13:14,570
You don't wanna remind me about
the time T left the iron on,
248
00:13:14,738 --> 00:13:16,523
and Katie burned herself and
got a bubble on her hand, and
249
00:13:16,549 --> 00:13:18,182
since she was still crawling,
it kept splitting open?
250
00:13:18,325 --> 00:13:20,885
- Will you knock it off?
- Come on. I wanna hear all my offenses.
251
00:13:20,914 --> 00:13:23,421
Don't you have them meticulously
listed on your computer?
252
00:13:23,504 --> 00:13:26,039
Yeah, so you'll know everything,
so we won't have secrets.
253
00:13:26,494 --> 00:13:28,708
Come on, you think I wanna
tell you that stuff?
254
00:13:30,864 --> 00:13:31,614
Tara!
255
00:13:31,924 --> 00:13:34,351
I can't believe this. two
hundred bucks' worth of flyers,
256
00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:36,441
and a whole day's
work down the drain.
257
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,074
You don't have to pay
me, Aunt Charmaine.
258
00:13:39,794 --> 00:13:41,344
That's nice, sweetie.
259
00:13:42,784 --> 00:13:45,634
But I still have 600 worth
of elixirs at home,
260
00:13:46,704 --> 00:13:48,554
and nobody wants to buy it.
261
00:13:49,504 --> 00:13:51,986
Do you know how many people are
trying to unload this stuff on eBay?
262
00:13:52,069 --> 00:13:53,919
Even at all the fake eBays.
263
00:13:54,514 --> 00:13:55,664
I had no idea.
264
00:13:57,213 --> 00:13:59,241
Maybe we can talk to my manager.
265
00:13:59,324 --> 00:14:01,671
- Set something up at Barnabeez.
- Really?
266
00:14:01,754 --> 00:14:02,504
Sure.
267
00:14:02,964 --> 00:14:05,511
I mean, isn't there some sort
of Vita-self slogan about...
268
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,623
making your own future but
innovating your present?
269
00:14:08,694 --> 00:14:10,678
I'm just so blown away
270
00:14:10,761 --> 00:14:13,211
by the power of Vita-self!
271
00:14:25,984 --> 00:14:26,734
Mom...
272
00:14:27,374 --> 00:14:29,941
Can I skip school today?
I'll get the homework.
273
00:14:30,024 --> 00:14:32,772
Okay. Don't you have
rehearsal after school?
274
00:14:33,084 --> 00:14:34,534
They don't need me.
275
00:14:35,593 --> 00:14:38,051
If you like him, he
must be a great guy.
276
00:14:38,134 --> 00:14:41,751
And if he likes you, then he won't
give a damn about the bee stings.
277
00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:44,384
If you don't show up,
you'll never know.
278
00:14:49,082 --> 00:14:51,051
At least he does
it in the shower.
279
00:14:51,134 --> 00:14:52,112
My ex
280
00:14:52,513 --> 00:14:55,969
used to have his gentleman's
time right next to me in bed.
281
00:14:58,274 --> 00:14:59,550
I don't care what he says.
282
00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:03,541
I just, I'm never gonna believe that I
know how to do it better than he does.
283
00:15:03,624 --> 00:15:04,474
I mean,
284
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,348
I know T doesn't feel that way,
285
00:15:06,516 --> 00:15:10,393
which is, I'm sure, part of
her skank muffin appeal.
286
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,220
So how does it work, you know?
287
00:15:12,303 --> 00:15:15,953
Do you guys have, like, rules
about having sex with the alters?
288
00:15:16,234 --> 00:15:19,914
Well, the first DID therapist
said it should be my choice.
289
00:15:21,204 --> 00:15:23,371
And I felt bad about putting
Max through so much,
290
00:15:23,454 --> 00:15:25,431
so I was like, "knock
yourself out".
291
00:15:25,514 --> 00:15:28,845
Which he did... with T. until he
realized she was stuck at sixteen.
292
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,145
- And that kinda put a damper on things.
- Gotcha.
293
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,751
Basically, we...
mutually agreed.
294
00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:37,469
It's... too messy if
he fucks my alters.
295
00:15:38,381 --> 00:15:39,731
Well, you know...
296
00:15:40,364 --> 00:15:41,714
When I blow Roger,
297
00:15:42,254 --> 00:15:43,904
I pretend I'm Nichelle,
298
00:15:44,554 --> 00:15:46,901
from that Fox show with
the grainy streetwalkers?
299
00:15:46,984 --> 00:15:49,140
It's like the only way
I can get through it.
300
00:15:49,308 --> 00:15:52,269
Honestly, I think you are a genius.
I really do.
301
00:15:54,044 --> 00:15:55,680
Yeah, but it, it's...
302
00:15:56,104 --> 00:16:00,107
different, you know? When you're
Nichelle, you're still in the room.
303
00:16:00,984 --> 00:16:02,634
I don't know where I am.
304
00:16:04,444 --> 00:16:06,676
What is it, honey?
What's wrong?
305
00:16:08,754 --> 00:16:10,278
- Sorry, it's just...
- No...
306
00:16:10,361 --> 00:16:11,411
Max and I...
307
00:16:12,864 --> 00:16:14,314
haven't been very...
308
00:16:15,494 --> 00:16:16,444
connected.
309
00:16:18,504 --> 00:16:19,337
I'm sorry,
310
00:16:19,505 --> 00:16:21,475
but I don't know how
that's any different
311
00:16:21,558 --> 00:16:23,800
from any other couple who've
been married for a while.
312
00:16:24,304 --> 00:16:26,219
- Really?
- Listen, I hate to disappoint you,
313
00:16:26,387 --> 00:16:28,806
but that is like the
centrifugal forces
314
00:16:28,889 --> 00:16:31,641
of unsexy daily
life plus biology.
315
00:16:32,494 --> 00:16:35,431
You know, you name me
one couple your age
316
00:16:35,514 --> 00:16:37,641
who has sex more
than once a week.
317
00:16:37,724 --> 00:16:39,474
Who are not TV characters.
318
00:16:43,354 --> 00:16:45,530
Thank you. And this
is why we drink.
319
00:16:52,914 --> 00:16:54,364
- Hey, Kate.
- Hey.
320
00:16:57,264 --> 00:16:58,414
Hello, Kitty.
321
00:16:58,684 --> 00:16:59,961
Why do you always call me that?
322
00:17:00,044 --> 00:17:02,694
Workers like nicknames.
We have solid data.
323
00:17:03,394 --> 00:17:06,644
Hey, so I have a line on an
excellent product discount.
324
00:17:07,044 --> 00:17:08,511
Love that word. Hit me.
325
00:17:08,884 --> 00:17:09,861
Protein powder.
326
00:17:09,944 --> 00:17:11,929
I mean, people love
healthy shakes.
327
00:17:12,012 --> 00:17:14,344
So we could tie it into some sort of...
fit menu?
328
00:17:14,427 --> 00:17:15,777
We don't do that.
329
00:17:16,574 --> 00:17:18,424
Next time, do your homework.
330
00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:30,531
I'm sorry I left the iron on.
331
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,464
I'm sorry I don't remember
leaving the iron on.
332
00:17:35,664 --> 00:17:36,420
Babe...
333
00:17:36,503 --> 00:17:39,253
It isn't just that I can't remember
whole chunks of my childhood
334
00:17:39,418 --> 00:17:41,226
or almost killing our children.
335
00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:43,048
And It doesn't only happen
when the altersthey
336
00:17:43,074 --> 00:17:44,886
are out and doing stuff
that I don't know about.
337
00:17:44,944 --> 00:17:47,550
I've been fading in
and out forever, Max.
338
00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:51,394
Until I quit the meds, I didn't
even know how much I'd lost.
339
00:17:51,924 --> 00:17:53,374
How much good stuff.
340
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,924
I remember I met you at
a party, but that's it.
341
00:17:59,894 --> 00:18:03,524
My head is so messed up, I literally
have no memory of our first date.
342
00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:06,799
Honey... We got high a lot when
we first started going out.
343
00:18:06,882 --> 00:18:08,171
No, no, no.
344
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:11,201
The point is, I missed it.
I can't reminisce!
345
00:18:11,284 --> 00:18:12,234
With you.
346
00:18:15,114 --> 00:18:17,528
I mean, how can you make a
lifetime of memories with someone
347
00:18:17,611 --> 00:18:20,961
when the person you're spending
it with isn't even there?
348
00:18:25,254 --> 00:18:26,504
What did we do?
349
00:18:28,744 --> 00:18:32,031
We made a casserole thing
with a can of mushroom soup.
350
00:18:32,114 --> 00:18:34,430
Burned the shit out of it,
set off all the alarms.
351
00:18:35,274 --> 00:18:38,679
Well, I wanna make new memories,
and I want our sex life back.
352
00:18:39,214 --> 00:18:40,638
Our sex life.
353
00:18:42,034 --> 00:18:44,398
And if we never had one,
then I wanna make one.
354
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,584
Oh, we had one.
355
00:18:48,914 --> 00:18:51,328
Why do you think you burned
the shit out of the chicken?
356
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,296
Great work, guys. Great
work, everybody.
357
00:19:00,379 --> 00:19:01,829
Really looking good.
358
00:19:02,024 --> 00:19:03,074
Just great.
359
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,534
Welcome. Welcome.
360
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,011
We're just about to get started, and...
Oh, Kimmy!
361
00:19:07,094 --> 00:19:09,381
Kimmy'll catch you up on the blocking.
Okay? Great.
362
00:19:13,074 --> 00:19:14,470
What happened to your face?
363
00:19:15,984 --> 00:19:17,234
Shut up, Kimmy.
364
00:19:23,344 --> 00:19:25,094
I had a bad bug encounter.
365
00:19:27,394 --> 00:19:28,644
Does that hurt?
366
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:29,844
Yes.
367
00:19:30,094 --> 00:19:31,044
I mean...
368
00:19:31,594 --> 00:19:32,304
No.
369
00:19:33,684 --> 00:19:35,434
You're so cute. Come on.
370
00:19:36,034 --> 00:19:36,984
Thank you.
371
00:19:40,084 --> 00:19:42,999
It's just complicated 'cause it's
a national chain and everything.
372
00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:45,412
Oh, you're a
sweetheart for trying.
373
00:19:48,216 --> 00:19:49,566
I gotta run. Bye.
374
00:19:53,584 --> 00:19:54,834
Sorry I'm late!
375
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,138
We started without you.
376
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:58,981
Excuse me, can I get one of...
377
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:00,571
whatever they're having?
378
00:20:00,654 --> 00:20:01,851
And some nachos?
379
00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:05,124
So...
380
00:20:05,324 --> 00:20:07,574
- So...
- Did you close that deal?
381
00:20:11,134 --> 00:20:13,461
Good girl! Good girl!
Drinks are on you.
382
00:20:13,544 --> 00:20:15,694
Oh, good. I'll have
a sip of that.
383
00:20:16,644 --> 00:20:17,394
A sip?
384
00:20:17,794 --> 00:20:18,744
Oh! Okay.
385
00:20:21,324 --> 00:20:22,774
- See ya.
- See ya.
386
00:20:33,804 --> 00:20:36,321
I'll say one thing. You're not
the girl I thought you were.
387
00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:37,114
No?
388
00:20:38,184 --> 00:20:39,634
Putting it together.
389
00:20:40,284 --> 00:20:41,223
Supply, demand.
390
00:20:42,614 --> 00:20:44,664
It wasn't the right idea, but...
391
00:20:45,114 --> 00:20:47,464
you know what you
were thinking like?
392
00:20:49,854 --> 00:20:51,104
Junior manager.
393
00:20:56,344 --> 00:20:57,594
Some day, Kitty.
394
00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:00,224
Some day soon.
395
00:21:00,794 --> 00:21:02,544
- Do I get a raise?
- No.
396
00:21:06,792 --> 00:21:09,501
So the disassociation happens
when you have a trigger, right?
397
00:21:09,584 --> 00:21:10,934
Sorry. Thank you.
398
00:21:11,214 --> 00:21:13,505
And is the trigger
something that reminds you
399
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:16,341
of, like, some bad thing that
happened to you, or what?
400
00:21:16,424 --> 00:21:19,510
Yeah, but like a lot of the
triggers are just weird, like,
401
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:22,181
the smell of instant
coffee or something.
402
00:21:22,264 --> 00:21:23,825
I mean, I have no
idea what that means.
403
00:21:23,872 --> 00:21:25,757
And there were no alters
before the event,
404
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,603
but you just have no
idea what happened?
405
00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:30,521
At boarding school, she had sex with a
guy she didn't want to have sex with.
406
00:21:30,604 --> 00:21:32,771
- Charmaine!
- What? Everybody has their shit!
407
00:21:32,854 --> 00:21:35,648
Besides, that's back when "No"
meant give her another drink.
408
00:21:35,731 --> 00:21:37,458
I mean, if I had a
nickel for every guy
409
00:21:37,541 --> 00:21:40,591
I had drunk sex with when
I didn't want to, well...
410
00:21:40,834 --> 00:21:43,118
I wouldn't be selling
Vita-fuckin'- Self.
411
00:21:45,374 --> 00:21:47,247
Wait. So you're not
buying any of this?
412
00:21:47,794 --> 00:21:48,644
Look...
413
00:21:49,384 --> 00:21:51,031
I watch 20-20, okay?
414
00:21:51,214 --> 00:21:54,915
I believe that bad things happen
that people can't remember.
415
00:21:54,998 --> 00:21:58,300
But, I mean, how come
whenever it's this DID thing,
416
00:21:58,468 --> 00:22:01,992
the abusers are always hooking up
electrical boxes to the kids' genitals?
417
00:22:02,075 --> 00:22:06,183
I mean, who has electrical
boxes ready to go?
418
00:22:06,351 --> 00:22:08,727
- You are screaming.
- Can I get an electro...
419
00:22:08,895 --> 00:22:11,159
genital torturer at...
420
00:22:11,634 --> 00:22:13,372
Hi... At Wal-Mart?
421
00:22:13,954 --> 00:22:14,782
Thank you.
422
00:22:14,865 --> 00:22:16,921
Can we have another one of those, please?
Thank you.
423
00:22:17,004 --> 00:22:18,399
Oh, my God...
424
00:22:23,224 --> 00:22:24,284
I wanna meet one.
425
00:22:26,004 --> 00:22:28,827
- Tiffany, you don't.
- No, I do. I do!
426
00:22:28,910 --> 00:22:33,043
- I'm not a dancing monkey.
- Oh, come on! Hello, who's in there?
427
00:22:33,211 --> 00:22:35,361
Come out and have
a drink with us.
428
00:22:36,172 --> 00:22:38,760
Did I mention I was molested?
I was.
429
00:22:38,843 --> 00:22:40,676
Come out, come out, come out!
430
00:23:00,224 --> 00:23:01,574
Did you have fun?
431
00:23:03,094 --> 00:23:03,804
No.
432
00:23:33,884 --> 00:23:35,034
Good morning!
433
00:23:50,024 --> 00:23:51,621
- I didn't... No, no, no.
- Get out.
434
00:24:03,564 --> 00:24:05,694
So Tiffany thinks
one of your alters
435
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:08,251
broke into her place in
the middle of the night.
436
00:24:08,334 --> 00:24:10,484
I'm the only one
who has her key.
437
00:24:15,605 --> 00:24:17,856
If it's not a good time, I
can just skip rehearsal.
438
00:24:18,024 --> 00:24:20,032
No, no. Can I drop him?
I'll be right back.
439
00:24:20,115 --> 00:24:21,956
Go! Go. Infiltrate.
440
00:24:25,394 --> 00:24:26,444
Thanks, mom.
441
00:24:50,974 --> 00:24:52,524
Are you Tara Gregson?
442
00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:03,401
What is it?
443
00:25:05,424 --> 00:25:06,924
A restraining order.
444
00:25:07,804 --> 00:25:08,654
No shit!
445
00:25:16,864 --> 00:25:18,314
Gotta mean it, guys.
446
00:25:18,904 --> 00:25:20,919
We've got homosexual
souls to save!
447
00:25:21,164 --> 00:25:23,463
Kevin, you look like you're
waiting for the bus.
448
00:25:23,546 --> 00:25:24,965
Come on, let's go. Get moving!
449
00:25:42,108 --> 00:25:45,431
I mean, what the fuck, okay? It's
not just the restraining order.
450
00:25:45,514 --> 00:25:48,488
I'm banned from selling
Vita-Self products.
451
00:25:51,404 --> 00:25:52,154
God...
452
00:25:52,854 --> 00:25:54,704
You just ruin everything...
453
00:25:55,494 --> 00:25:56,444
Don't you?
454
00:26:10,654 --> 00:26:11,886
Find joy.
455
00:26:22,674 --> 00:26:24,224
Self-satisfied bitch.
456
00:26:29,543 --> 00:26:32,511
- We never get to have any friends.
- Oh. Thanks a lot.
457
00:26:32,594 --> 00:26:34,144
You know what I mean.
458
00:26:40,484 --> 00:26:43,021
Early in the morning
and late at night,
459
00:26:43,284 --> 00:26:45,811
two dead boys got up to fight.
460
00:26:46,054 --> 00:26:48,451
Back to back, they
faced each other,
461
00:26:48,534 --> 00:26:50,800
drew their swords and
shot each other.
462
00:26:50,968 --> 00:26:52,891
Early in the morning
and late at night,
463
00:26:52,974 --> 00:26:54,637
two dead boys got up to fight.
464
00:26:55,054 --> 00:26:56,482
God bless Max,
465
00:26:57,094 --> 00:26:58,555
Katie, and Marshy.
466
00:26:59,164 --> 00:27:01,014
God bless Charmie and Tara.
467
00:27:02,324 --> 00:27:03,450
God bless T.
468
00:27:05,534 --> 00:27:06,934
God bless Buck.
469
00:27:08,394 --> 00:27:09,444
God bless...
470
00:27:12,198 --> 00:27:14,148
Two dead boys got up to fight.
471
00:27:14,854 --> 00:27:15,804
I'm done.
472
00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:18,566
- Come on.
- You always go too fast.
473
00:27:19,444 --> 00:27:21,721
Early in the morning
and late at night,
474
00:27:21,804 --> 00:27:24,181
two dead boys got up to fight.
475
00:27:24,264 --> 00:27:26,481
Back to back, they
faced each other,
476
00:27:26,564 --> 00:27:28,540
drew their swords and
shot each other.
477
00:27:28,623 --> 00:27:31,073
Early in the morning
and late at night.
35523
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