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1
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:04,003
- Yeah! Yeah!
- No! No!
2
00:00:04,330 --> 00:00:07,500
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Get some of that!
3
00:00:07,830 --> 00:00:09,000
- Damn.
- Yeah, boy.
4
00:00:09,330 --> 00:00:11,150
Kind of stinks
without Jordan.
5
00:00:13,383 --> 00:00:16,103
- Yo, this is mine.
- Get outta here.
6
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:18,153
Marlon, this is my..
7
00:00:18,183 --> 00:00:20,383
It's not funny.
8
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:22,170
Alright.
9
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,350
Ah-choo!
10
00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:29,296
Yo, man, that's not fair.
11
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,203
Want to split it?
12
00:00:31,233 --> 00:00:33,223
[theme song]
13
00:00:34,366 --> 00:00:36,096
♪ We're brothers ♪
14
00:00:36,133 --> 00:00:40,373
♪ We're happy and we're singing
and we're colored ♪
15
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,830
♪ Give me a high-five ♪♪
16
00:00:43,116 --> 00:00:45,246
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.
Beautiful guys.'
17
00:00:45,283 --> 00:00:47,133
'Dynamite that is..'
18
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:50,326
♪ Girl what you got
goin' on tonight? ♪
19
00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:52,220
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
20
00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:54,370
♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪
21
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,830
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
22
00:00:57,116 --> 00:00:59,266
♪ Girl what you got
going on tonight? ♪
23
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,270
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
24
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:04,170
♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪
25
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,180
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
26
00:01:06,216 --> 00:01:08,326
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪♪
27
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:17,656
(Shawn)
'These infomercials are the
biggest rip-offs in the
world.'
28
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,380
Yes, I'd like to order
two tubes
29
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,000
of "Plums on a Hill"
lipstick.
30
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:22,300
Lisa, what
are
you doing?
31
00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:25,333
I'm orderin' two tubes
of "Plums on a Hill" lipstick.
32
00:01:25,366 --> 00:01:28,316
No. They charge you $10
for some lipstick
33
00:01:28,350 --> 00:01:31,220
that only
costs
42 cents.
34
00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:33,130
- So?
- So..
35
00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:34,316
That's highway robbery.
36
00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:36,370
Nobody should be able
to make that much
money..
37
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,000
...except me.
38
00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:41,370
Damn! I wish I had
something
to sell on an infomercial.
39
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,320
I'll get paid.
40
00:01:43,350 --> 00:01:45,270
But you don't, Shawn,
and they do.
41
00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:48,330
Besides, I want to have lips
like Whitney Houston.
42
00:01:48,366 --> 00:01:50,146
Wouldn't you
like that?
43
00:01:50,183 --> 00:01:52,133
No, I'm not
kissing
anything
44
00:01:52,166 --> 00:01:54,126
that touches
Bobby Brown's tongue.
45
00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:59,503
Besides I like your
lips
the way they are.
46
00:02:00,383 --> 00:02:03,233
[door opens]
47
00:02:03,266 --> 00:02:06,246
[crying]
48
00:02:08,216 --> 00:02:10,826
Don't mind me.
49
00:02:10,116 --> 00:02:12,346
You guys just keep doing
what you're doing.
50
00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:17,253
I'm only doing this
for attention.
51
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,120
Hey, hey, hey.
Alright!
52
00:02:22,150 --> 00:02:25,160
What do you want?
53
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,250
Nothing.
54
00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:29,350
Oh, just say it,
Marlon.
55
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:32,663
Alright,
since you
asked.
56
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:34,330
Tonight, I went to a club
with my boys
57
00:02:34,660 --> 00:02:36,120
Bentley and Kevin, right.
58
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:37,180
Kevin got in..
59
00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,296
...then Bentley got in..
60
00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:41,333
...and then I didn't get in.
61
00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:42,830
And do you know why?
62
00:02:42,116 --> 00:02:43,296
Because you're loser?
63
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:46,150
No.
64
00:02:46,183 --> 00:02:49,173
Because the bouncer said
he didn't like my hair.
65
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,660
[laughs]
66
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:52,130
Your hair?
67
00:02:52,166 --> 00:02:54,166
[laughs]
68
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,330
What you laughin' at?
69
00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:57,366
At least my hair is real.
70
00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:00,183
So is mine.
71
00:03:00,216 --> 00:03:03,126
What? Real horse
or real goat?
72
00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,266
- I got your goat.
- Oh, you abad
73
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,330
Alright, alright, alright.
74
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:11,160
Okay, alright now,
y'all stop. Alright?
75
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,830
Marlon, I'mma help you
to fix your hair. Come
on.
76
00:03:13,116 --> 00:03:15,326
Hey. Stop being
so rough.
77
00:03:15,366 --> 00:03:17,366
Who do you think you are, Tupac?
78
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:20,350
Baby, I'll be right back.
79
00:03:20,383 --> 00:03:22,303
It's okay, Shawn.
80
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:24,153
Take your time.
81
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:27,320
Yes, I'd like
to order two tubes
82
00:03:27,350 --> 00:03:30,100
of "Plums on a Hill"
lipstick.
83
00:03:30,133 --> 00:03:32,333
That'll be on my visa.
84
00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:35,500
The name is Shawn Williams.
85
00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:37,660
5-2-0-6-0-1..
86
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:39,300
[instrumental music]
87
00:03:40,266 --> 00:03:41,346
- Not a nickel.
- Get..
88
00:03:41,383 --> 00:03:43,233
- Get away from me.
- Oh, but, Pops..
89
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,176
An infomercial
is the perfect plan.
90
00:03:45,216 --> 00:03:47,496
See, all we need
is to get a
celebrity.
91
00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:49,280
Then they go on TV
and they make us
rich.
92
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:52,496
All I need is $600.
93
00:03:52,830 --> 00:03:55,220
Six hundred dollars?
Man, have you lost your mind?
94
00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:57,250
With $600 I can get
your mama an operation.
95
00:03:57,283 --> 00:03:59,323
Put those breasts back up
where I can see them.
96
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:03,350
But, Pops, for $600,
I can get us a half-hour show
97
00:04:03,383 --> 00:04:06,163
on public-access TV.
98
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:07,220
Public access?
99
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:08,300
You mean like
that naked
channel?
100
00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:09,373
Yeah!
101
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,320
And they got some
good shows on
there.
102
00:04:11,350 --> 00:04:14,350
That naked talk show
host Robin Byrd.
Whoo!
103
00:04:14,383 --> 00:04:16,133
She's one sassy
little mama.
104
00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:17,266
I'll remember that.
105
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,330
I'd like to put
some hot sauce on
her.
106
00:04:19,366 --> 00:04:22,176
So, what do you say, Pop, huh?
Will you give me the money?
107
00:04:22,216 --> 00:04:25,116
Ask for my wooden arm,
son,
you can get that quicker.
108
00:04:25,150 --> 00:04:27,150
But, Pops,
you don't have a wooden arm.
109
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,663
Brains ain't
your strong suit, is it boy?
110
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,150
Marlon, now,
if you're late again
111
00:04:32,183 --> 00:04:34,123
I'mma whoop you
like that boy in Singapore.
112
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,660
What the hell
happened to your
hair?
113
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,830
'Look like Don Cornelius
died on your head.'
114
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,120
See, Pops? That's what
I'm talking about.
115
00:04:47,150 --> 00:04:48,330
That's his new pomade.
116
00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:50,996
See, after he got
thrown
out of the club last
night
117
00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:52,350
he went home,
mixed up some of that
stuff..
118
00:04:52,383 --> 00:04:55,223
And bam! It was move over,
Little Richard.
119
00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:57,000
There's a new perm
in town.
120
00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:58,170
Whoo!
121
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,500
I'd tell you, Pop,
before I knew it
122
00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:02,150
I was getting into clubs.
123
00:05:02,183 --> 00:05:04,373
I was cashing checks,
catching cabs.
124
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,330
Pop, I felt just like
a white dude.
125
00:05:08,116 --> 00:05:09,226
In that case,
Mr. White boy
126
00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:12,126
go down to the bank
and get me a loan.
127
00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:14,096
Pop, I'm telling you,
this stuff works.
128
00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:15,203
It works so good
129
00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:17,103
I got my boys Bentley
and Kevin some..
130
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:19,323
And look at them
over there, macking.
131
00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:21,270
(Pops)
'Would you look at
that big-haired boy'
132
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,250
'over there macking
with those pretty girls.'
133
00:05:23,283 --> 00:05:26,183
Lookin' like two macaronis.
134
00:05:26,216 --> 00:05:28,156
Macaronis!
135
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,270
See, Pops? If it
worked
for "The Lion King"..
136
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,216
...imagine how much money
we can make.
137
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:36,160
We could makemillions.
138
00:05:36,383 --> 00:05:38,123
Millions?
139
00:05:38,150 --> 00:05:39,230
Millions.
140
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,333
- Ya-ta-dee!
- You-dee, huh, huh.
141
00:05:44,366 --> 00:05:46,116
Let me get
my checkbook.
142
00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:47,370
Thanks, Pop,
you won't be sorry.
143
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,130
What are y'all
talking about?
144
00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:53,216
Marlon, we're gonna
sell
your pomade on TV.
145
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:55,300
- I'm gonna be on TV?
- Yes.
146
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:01,330
Hello, out there in TV land.
147
00:06:01,366 --> 00:06:05,826
See, now all we need
is a catchy name.
148
00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:07,146
Something that everybody's
going to remember.
149
00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:09,203
Ooh. How about
the clapper?
150
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,270
No. What about hair--
151
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:15,200
Ball.
152
00:06:15,233 --> 00:06:20,203
- No, no, no. Hair--
- Riet Tubman.
153
00:06:20,233 --> 00:06:21,373
No, no, no. Alright,
I got it, I got it.
154
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,250
- I think it's hair..
- Maphrodite.
155
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,380
I got it.
I got it.
156
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,180
Hair...come the judge.
157
00:06:29,216 --> 00:06:30,376
♪ Hair come
the judge ♪
158
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,220
♪ Hair come
the judge ♪♪
159
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:33,370
You better
get outtahair
160
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,350
with those
stupid suggestions.
161
00:06:36,383 --> 00:06:38,333
- I got it.
- What?
162
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:39,170
What about..
163
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,350
"Goop, Hair It Is."
164
00:06:41,383 --> 00:06:43,253
- Hey.
- Hey, I like that.
165
00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:45,123
♪ Goop, hair it is ♪
166
00:06:45,150 --> 00:06:46,100
Alright.
167
00:06:46,133 --> 00:06:48,133
♪ Goop, hair it is ♪
168
00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,096
♪ We gonna make
some millions ♪
169
00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:51,153
♪ Goop, hair it is ♪
170
00:06:51,183 --> 00:06:52,173
Alright!
171
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,370
♪ We gonna make
some millions ♪
172
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,160
♪ Goop, hair it is ♪
173
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:56,500
Go, Pop!
174
00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:57,180
♪ Goop, hair it is ♪♪
175
00:06:57,216 --> 00:06:58,276
Alright!
176
00:06:58,316 --> 00:07:03,376
Please, Latoya,
it's just an infomercial.
177
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,500
What do you mean
degraded?
178
00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:07,500
You posed butt-naked
with a snake.
179
00:07:08,283 --> 00:07:10,163
Aw, I..
180
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:11,330
[sniffling]
181
00:07:11,366 --> 00:07:14,996
Don't cry, Lisa. Don't worry,
we'll get a celebrity. Watch.
182
00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:16,270
I'm not crying
because of
that.
183
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:20,130
I'm crying because
this stuff is burning my
eyes.
184
00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:22,146
Shawn, it stinks.
185
00:07:22,183 --> 00:07:24,323
Yeah, well, they
can't smell it over the TV.
186
00:07:26,116 --> 00:07:27,196
[whimpering]
187
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:31,326
Hey, y'all,
look who I
got.
188
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,270
It's Garrett Morris.
189
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,320
Garrett Morris?
190
00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,100
I thought
it was Ben
Vereen.
191
00:07:41,383 --> 00:07:43,223
Get off of me.
Who are you people?
192
00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:45,000
- Please don't hurt me.
- Don't worry.
193
00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:46,250
- We're not gonna shoot you.
- Okay.
194
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:51,320
We want you to work
with us, Mr. Morris.
195
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:52,350
Doing what?
196
00:07:52,383 --> 00:07:54,373
- Hi.
- Oh. Hey, look, man.
197
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,130
I don't do pornos...anymore.
198
00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:01,100
This is nothing like that.
199
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:02,283
Didn't Marlon tell you,
what we want?
200
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,166
Hell, no, man,
I was mindin' my own business
201
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,160
comin' out of my apartment,
on my way to the dentist.
202
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,380
Next thing I knew this freak
jumps outta the bushes
203
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:12,180
puts this pillow case
over my head
204
00:08:12,216 --> 00:08:16,166
and then starts dragging me down
Ninth Avenue by my legs.
205
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,380
Well, it wasn't easy.
206
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:19,330
He's heavier
than he looks
207
00:08:19,660 --> 00:08:20,250
and you scream
like a girl.
208
00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:21,303
[screams]
209
00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:23,203
Hell, yeah,
the screaming reminds me..
210
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:25,203
When he dropped
that pillow case on me
211
00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:30,003
man it was Mississippi,
1961, all over again.
212
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:31,500
Whoo.
213
00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:32,370
Man, I'll never forget
that night.
214
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,180
Running naked
through the swamps
215
00:08:34,216 --> 00:08:37,096
the sound of them dogs
yapping at my heels.
216
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:38,373
- Lynch mob?
- No, man.
217
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,370
An ex-girlfriend
and her ugly
mother.
218
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,330
Well, this is nothin'
like that, Mr. Morris.
219
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:46,300
See, we're producing
an infomercial.
220
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:49,103
- An infomercial?
- Yeah. And we're desperate.
221
00:08:49,133 --> 00:08:52,333
I mean, every celebrity
worth a damn turned us
down.
222
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:53,500
That's why we want you.
223
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:54,170
What my brother means is
224
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,230
you are our first choice,
Mr. Morris.
225
00:08:56,266 --> 00:08:57,366
No, he wasn't, Shawn.
226
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,180
- Ben Vereen was our first--
- Shh!
227
00:09:00,216 --> 00:09:02,266
Now, look, Mr. Morris,
this is what we want you to
do.
228
00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:05,270
- Grab some of this.
- Uh-huh.
229
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:08,100
Smile into the camera, and say..
230
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,253
Goop, Hair It Is..
231
00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,283
...has been bery,
bery good to me.
232
00:09:11,316 --> 00:09:14,376
No. No, no, hey,
I'm sorry, man.
233
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,380
I don't do commercials.
234
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,320
Well, what if we let you
sing opera?
235
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:22,100
I'm sorry, man.
I have integrity.
236
00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:24,123
What are you
talking about, integrity?
237
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:26,270
You played Sporty James
on "Hunter."
238
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,180
I don't care.
I'm not doin'
it.
239
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:32,366
Well, get your old
behind out of here.
240
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,150
Come on,
get out.
241
00:09:36,233 --> 00:09:37,323
Get outta here.
242
00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:44,500
Great, now we're booked
at a cable station
243
00:09:44,830 --> 00:09:45,330
and we have
no
celebrity.
244
00:09:45,366 --> 00:09:49,156
Well, I guess we could
always usehim.
245
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,330
- Who?
- Is he still here?
246
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,370
- Who?
- He's been here all morning.
247
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,000
- Why don't he just leave?
- Who?
248
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,350
Look, guys,
we're desperate, okay?
249
00:09:58,383 --> 00:10:01,183
Nobody else is gonna do this.
We might as well use him.
250
00:10:01,216 --> 00:10:02,296
I don't care.
251
00:10:05,233 --> 00:10:07,323
Alright, you can
come out now.
252
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,330
Shawn, Marlon.
253
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:19,180
Wow! This Goop, Hair It Is
sure makes my scalp tingle.
254
00:10:19,216 --> 00:10:21,126
Emmanuel Lewis.
255
00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:22,176
[screams]
256
00:10:22,216 --> 00:10:24,166
Come on now!
257
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,100
Drop it!
258
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,180
Put it down,
Come on, calm down.
259
00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:34,166
- Gary Coleman.
- Who?
260
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,500
Lisa, please.
Gary Coleman.
261
00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:37,350
He's sensitive.
262
00:10:37,383 --> 00:10:39,373
Hey, Gary babes,
sweetheart.
263
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,300
What's going on,
little guy, huh?
264
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:44,333
Aye, we've been
doing
a lot of thinking.
265
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:46,350
And we decided
we want you to be our
man.
266
00:10:46,383 --> 00:10:49,103
We want you
to endorse our
Goop.
267
00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:50,183
Excellent.
Count me in.
268
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:53,266
- Alright.
- Have a seat.
269
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,160
Cross your legs.
270
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,160
Now, fellas,
I don't work cheap.
271
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:58,170
I know, I know.
272
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,150
And your parents get
90 percent of your check,
right?
273
00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:04,000
Well, actually,
I cut 'em back to 85.
274
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,200
Smart move.
275
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,330
[instrumental music]
276
00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:11,230
That's Goop!
277
00:11:11,266 --> 00:11:13,316
(together)
Hair it is!
278
00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:15,660
And cut.
279
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:16,230
Good, one more rehearsal.
280
00:11:16,266 --> 00:11:18,156
Wonderful, boys,
wonderful.
281
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,250
That was so wonderful.
Wonderful. Those are my boys.
282
00:11:20,283 --> 00:11:22,833
Yeah, yeah. You
got
the 600 bucks?
283
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,366
There you go,
600 sweet dollar bills.
284
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,830
I happen to be
the executive producer
285
00:11:26,116 --> 00:11:27,146
of this little production.
286
00:11:27,183 --> 00:11:29,233
And look over there,
it's Gary Coleman.
287
00:11:30,383 --> 00:11:32,503
Uh-huh.
288
00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:34,320
Excuse me.
289
00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:37,500
Excuse me. Where are
the dressing rooms?
290
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,330
The utility
closet's
in back.
291
00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:40,230
Just don't
pee
in the sink.
292
00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:43,300
Uh, yo, my man.
293
00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:45,373
Uh.. the lights keep drying
the Goop right out of my hair.
294
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,220
So do me a favor,
when we start filming
295
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:50,330
could you just, like, you
know,
dim the lights down a little?
296
00:11:50,366 --> 00:11:53,216
[chuckling]
297
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:55,170
He wants us
to change the lights.
298
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,120
[guffawing]
299
00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:03,120
Hey, Shawn, let's just
put the Goop on extra thick.
300
00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,500
That's a good idea.
301
00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:08,380
Eew. What's in this
stuff?
It really smells.
302
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:10,130
Ha ha.
303
00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:12,176
[indistinct]
304
00:12:12,216 --> 00:12:15,656
Ancient African secret.
305
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,230
Let's just rehearse it
again,
one more time.
306
00:12:17,266 --> 00:12:19,366
Hey, Gary, man,
I'm nervous.
307
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,500
Hey, don't
worry.
This is
television.
308
00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:24,270
If you make a mistake,
you can always do it again.
309
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:29,160
Not unless you got another
600 bucks. This is live TV,
pal.
310
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,120
- Live?
- Live?
311
00:12:33,366 --> 00:12:35,366
[instrumental music]
312
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,330
Five, four, three, two..
313
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:46,250
[applause]
314
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,330
Hi, peoples.
315
00:12:49,366 --> 00:12:51,996
I'm Shawn Williams..
316
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:55,320
and today I'm wearing
a sensational new product
317
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:59,270
called "Goop, Hair It Is."
318
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,100
[audience cheering]
319
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,660
But don't just
take my word for it
320
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,300
'cause that would be
plain ol' ignorant.
321
00:13:08,366 --> 00:13:10,376
Take a look
at your monitors.
322
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,130
Oh, gee, golly, woe!
323
00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:18,366
I sure hope I can get
into this club tonight.
324
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,350
- Hey, how you doing?
- Just, go on in there.
325
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:25,153
Hey. You can't
come into the
club.
326
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:27,153
Why not, Mr. Bouncer man?
327
00:13:27,183 --> 00:13:29,253
Because of your
funked-up hair.
328
00:13:31,166 --> 00:13:32,346
My hair?
329
00:13:32,383 --> 00:13:34,253
Oh, dag!
330
00:13:34,283 --> 00:13:37,223
What on earth shall I do?
331
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:41,500
'Scuse me, y'all.
A real player's coming
through.
332
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:43,160
Whoo! Hey buddy!
333
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,200
- Hey, brother.
- Hey, how you doing?
334
00:13:44,233 --> 00:13:47,833
You looking
good.
Come on in.
335
00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:49,326
Say, brother.
336
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:51,280
Could I be using
just a smidgen of that?
337
00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:54,220
No, my brother.
338
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,100
You gots to get your own.
339
00:13:59,350 --> 00:14:01,330
[bell dings]
340
00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:07,663
Hey, look at you.
341
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,270
Come on in.
342
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,300
Thanks,
Goop, Hair It Is.
343
00:14:15,233 --> 00:14:18,333
[audience cheering]
344
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:23,120
Are those results,
or what?
345
00:14:25,116 --> 00:14:26,196
Amazing!
346
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,323
But, ladies
and gentlemen
347
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:30,300
Goop, Hair It Is
can do even more.
348
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:33,223
Watch your monitors.
349
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:39,500
(Marlon)This was mea few days ago.
350
00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:40,320
I couldn't walk
351
00:14:40,350 --> 00:14:44,100
and they wouldn't let meplay basketball.
352
00:14:50,366 --> 00:14:53,656
Hey, guys.
Can I play?
353
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,660
(together)
No, you can't!
354
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:56,180
I'll show them.
355
00:15:11,133 --> 00:15:12,233
Yah!
356
00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:16,223
Thanks,
Goop, Hair It Is.
357
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:21,333
[audience cheering]
358
00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:27,000
Is that a miracle product,
or what?
359
00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:30,223
And now, ladies and gentlemen
360
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,500
the moment we all
been waiting for.
361
00:15:32,830 --> 00:15:33,130
You're about
to meet the man
362
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,126
who invented
Goop, Hair It Is.
363
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:38,996
Hair inventor
and GED recipient himself..
364
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:42,170
Give it up
for Mr. Marlon Williams!
365
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,000
[audience cheering]
366
00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:47,220
[applause continues]
367
00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:53,003
- How you doing, Shawn?
- How you doing, Marlon?
368
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:56,160
Hello out there in TV land.
369
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:57,120
Hey.
370
00:15:57,150 --> 00:16:00,100
How you doing, brother?
Get some Goop. Alright.
371
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,250
[laughs]
372
00:16:05,133 --> 00:16:07,153
Oh, man.
Well,
Marlon..
373
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:10,163
Goop, Hair It Is sure is
a sensational new
product.
374
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:11,280
- Isn't it?
- It sure is, Shawn.
375
00:16:11,316 --> 00:16:13,216
But don't just
take my word for it.
376
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:16,270
(together)
'Cause that would be
plain ol' ignorant.
377
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:19,500
Take the word
of a celebrated actor.
378
00:16:19,830 --> 00:16:22,160
Ah! You mean
we have one here?
379
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:23,100
Yes, we do, Shawn.
380
00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:26,303
Star of screen,
stage, television.
381
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:29,123
And high scorer
at every arcade in town
382
00:16:29,150 --> 00:16:33,270
please, give a warm welcome
for Mr. Gary Coleman.
383
00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:35,380
[audience cheering]
384
00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:38,303
- How you doing?
- How you doing?
385
00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:40,103
How you doing, fine?
386
00:16:42,316 --> 00:16:45,326
Well, I know a huge
superstar
like yourself is very busy
387
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:47,120
but what brings
you here today, Gary Colemans?
388
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:50,270
Well, fellas, I just
had to come by today
389
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:54,300
and tell all my fans
about Goop, Hair It Is.
390
00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:56,123
[audience clapping]
391
00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:57,250
Yeah!
Ha ha ha!
392
00:16:57,283 --> 00:17:00,323
Well, now, I'm gonna
get
personal on you.
393
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:02,200
How did
Goop, Hair It
Is
394
00:17:02,233 --> 00:17:05,253
change your
life,
Gary Colemans?
395
00:17:05,283 --> 00:17:07,173
Before Goop
396
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,230
I couldn't get a job.
397
00:17:09,266 --> 00:17:11,226
- No!
- No!
398
00:17:12,350 --> 00:17:14,150
But now look at me.
399
00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:17,173
I'm the star of my own
action-adventure picture
400
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,330
"The Man with the Tiny Gun."
401
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,100
(together)
Isn't that amazing?
402
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,150
Well, let's take a look
at our monitors.
403
00:17:28,383 --> 00:17:31,323
[instrumental music]
404
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,350
The name's Coleman..
405
00:17:38,383 --> 00:17:41,203
...Gary Coleman.
406
00:17:41,233 --> 00:17:42,353
[gunshots]
407
00:17:42,383 --> 00:17:44,373
[woman screams]
'Ah! My foot!'
408
00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:52,123
(together)
'Isn't that amazing?'
409
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:53,370
You see the power of the Goop?
410
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,130
Not only does it
revive your hair
411
00:17:56,166 --> 00:17:58,176
but it revives
your career.
412
00:17:58,216 --> 00:18:00,216
(Shawn)
'Alright!'
413
00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:02,180
We must be
out of our
mind.
414
00:18:02,216 --> 00:18:04,266
'Cause today we're
selling
Goop, Hair It Is
415
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:08,330
for the low, low
price
of just $60 a jar.
416
00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:09,370
[audience cheering]
417
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,220
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
418
00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:15,160
Fellas, couldn't we give people
a discount just for today only?
419
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,330
Well, Gary, that's
none
of your business.
420
00:18:17,366 --> 00:18:20,176
But, since I loved your movie
421
00:18:20,216 --> 00:18:21,276
I'mma take your advice.
422
00:18:21,316 --> 00:18:25,166
We're gonna cut these
prices
from $60 a jar..
423
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,270
...to the low,
low price of..
424
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:28,330
(together)
Fifty nine, ninety nine.
425
00:18:28,366 --> 00:18:30,656
[audience clapping]
426
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,180
Whoo!
427
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,200
[audience cheering]
428
00:18:42,233 --> 00:18:43,333
Shawn..
429
00:18:43,366 --> 00:18:45,126
Shut up.
430
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:47,656
Is it hot in here?
431
00:18:48,183 --> 00:18:49,183
- No!
- No!
432
00:18:49,216 --> 00:18:51,266
I smell rubber burning.
433
00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,160
- No, you don't!
- No, you don't!
434
00:18:56,830 --> 00:18:58,830
And remember,
ladies and
gentlemen
435
00:18:58,116 --> 00:19:00,226
the name is
"Goop, Hair It
Is."
436
00:19:00,266 --> 00:19:03,996
And the number's 5-5-5-GOOP!
437
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:08,330
Marlon, what the hell
is in this stuff?
438
00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:09,280
The lights are starting
to burn it.
439
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:13,216
Nothing. It's just Vaseline,
Bacon fat, and Drano.
440
00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:14,320
Drano?
441
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:17,130
There's lye in Drano.
442
00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:19,496
My hair!
My hair!
443
00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:22,160
Look at how soft
and silky it is.
444
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,830
My hair..
It's burning!
445
00:19:25,216 --> 00:19:27,146
My hair!
446
00:19:27,183 --> 00:19:29,123
My man, his hair's on fire!
Help!
447
00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:30,300
Give me some water
or something!
448
00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:33,123
Hey, come on,
I'm on lunch, huh?
449
00:19:33,150 --> 00:19:35,100
Marlon, do
something!
His hair's on fire!
450
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,133
Okay.
Hey, Gary.
451
00:19:41,316 --> 00:19:44,326
(Shawn)
'Now, look at that,
they're fighting over the
Goop.'
452
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:46,120
Look how crazy
this is.
453
00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:49,000
'He's possessed by
Goop, Hair It Is-demon.'
454
00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:52,000
- And remember, y'all..
- Aah!
455
00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:54,220
We're...coming to you live.
456
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,370
Hey, hey, hey!
457
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,330
Get up here, you baby,
I'm not paying $600
458
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:03,130
for you roll on the carpet.
459
00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:04,376
- Aah!
- Aah!
460
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,230
- Your hair's on fire!
- Your hair's on fire!
461
00:20:07,266 --> 00:20:08,366
[screams]
462
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,500
(Pops)
Back off, little fella.
You on fire.
463
00:20:11,830 --> 00:20:14,120
And the number is 5-5-5-GOOP.
464
00:20:14,150 --> 00:20:15,180
'Hey, get off you little..'
465
00:20:15,216 --> 00:20:16,376
'Tell them we got a fire sale.'
466
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,200
A fire sale, ain't that
funny?
Ha ha. A fire sale.
467
00:20:19,233 --> 00:20:22,173
Call before your
parents stop you. 5-5-5-GOOP.
468
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,170
Somebody buy some. I'm gonna
buy some. Somebody buy some.
469
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,150
It's good for your grandma,
your preacher
470
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:29,503
Your-your-your neighbors..
471
00:20:29,830 --> 00:20:30,150
[instrumental music]
472
00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:38,333
[groaning]
473
00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:45,830
Oh, look at your poor patchy
little blistered heads.
474
00:20:45,116 --> 00:20:47,656
That must hurt so much.
475
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,160
Not as much
as when Pop beat
us.
476
00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:53,830
I can't believe
he beat a burning man.
477
00:20:54,366 --> 00:20:57,096
It just don't seem right.
478
00:20:57,133 --> 00:21:00,663
I feel sorry for Gary Coleman.
I think you killed him.
479
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:03,220
Hey, I had to put that fire
out somehow.
480
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:06,160
Yeah, but you didn't
have
to stomp on him.
481
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:08,160
(Pops)
'Hey, scabheads.'
482
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,830
Break's over.
483
00:21:10,116 --> 00:21:11,196
Until I'm paid back
484
00:21:11,233 --> 00:21:13,183
you two are gonna clean
that damn kitchen
485
00:21:13,216 --> 00:21:16,176
every weekend
for the next 20 years.
486
00:21:16,216 --> 00:21:19,226
Twenty years?
Hey, we only owe you
$600.
487
00:21:19,266 --> 00:21:21,116
Yes, how much you
payin' us an hour?
488
00:21:21,150 --> 00:21:25,660
A nickel more than I'm payin'
Hop Sing, and he's happy.
489
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,180
Right, Hop Sing?
490
00:21:26,216 --> 00:21:27,366
[indistinct muttering]
491
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,300
Well, the truth is, Pops,
we only lost $540.01.
492
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:33,303
How did that happen?
493
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,273
Someone actually
bought a jar.
494
00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:37,280
What stupid-ass fool
was dumb enough
495
00:21:37,316 --> 00:21:39,326
to buy a jar of that stuff?
496
00:21:41,116 --> 00:21:43,146
I am gonna kill you.
497
00:21:43,183 --> 00:21:45,353
[screams]
498
00:21:51,283 --> 00:21:54,003
Wasn't that Ben Vereen?
499
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,300
Have some more coffee.
500
00:21:57,333 --> 00:21:59,223
[instrumental music]
501
00:22:04,283 --> 00:22:06,323
When I was asked
to play this role
502
00:22:06,350 --> 00:22:08,270
I didn't think
I had it in me
503
00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:11,220
but after a humbling
personal tragedy
504
00:22:11,250 --> 00:22:13,120
I did change my mind.
505
00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:15,300
I guess I was just
born to star in..
506
00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:19,203
"Richard Pryor, the Day
My Crack Pipe Exploded."
507
00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:23,096
I wanna thank
everyone in the film
508
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:25,103
everyone that had something to
do with the film.
509
00:22:25,133 --> 00:22:27,103
It was a wonderful
experience.
510
00:22:27,133 --> 00:22:28,103
Thank you.
511
00:22:28,133 --> 00:22:29,373
Thank you and goodnight.
512
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:30,380
Goodnight.
513
00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:34,833
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon, say cheese!
35893
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