All language subtitles for The.Ms.Pat.Show.S01E08_English

- You know the most beautiful
thing about Black folks' ears?

We are immune to bullshit,

whether it's trauma,
eviction notice,

or the skid marks
in between our thighs.

Wait a minute.
Is that just me?

Fuck y'all.

All I'm saying is when you
surround yourself with love,

you can overcome
all kinds of darkness.

For example, our ancestors
came over here on a boat,

yet Tom John still got niggas
pawning on a cruise.

You have the power
to get through anything

if you use your brain.

I gave birth to four kids,

but I only felt the pain
from one.

You know why?
'Cause I use my brain.

It told me to get
a God damn epidural.

- Daddy said, wash the dishes.

- Yeah, I can talk.

Ooh, I know you heard that.

Quisha finally met
her new boo's family.

Yeah, she said
the mama was cool

and the daddy was cool too.

It's their wife
she had the problem with.

Yes, girl.
That's what I said.

I said, "Baby,
she is better than me."

Girl, let me call you back.

Somebody in here acting like
I'm disturbing them.

You happy?

What you studying anyway?

- It's for my debate.

The topic is
jury nullification.

- Is this where I pretend
to know what that is?

- Well, it's when a jury
returns a non-guilty verdict

even though the jury believes

the defendant
has broken the law.

Okay, so, you remember
the movie "Friday"?

Well, remember when Big Worm
went to kill Smokey over $40?

- Hell yeah.
Big Worm was sexy!

I used to love a brotha
with a perm.

- Well, in this case,
the judge will be Big Worm,

the jury will be
the neighborhood,

and they would tell Big Worm

that even though Smokey is
guilty, he shouldn't kill him

because the crime
doesn't match the punishment.

- Okay, well, that sounds good.

- Not always.

I mean, especially
for people like us.

That's why all these
guilty people are getting off

for killing
unarmed Black folks.

- Wow. I get it now.

- You get jury nullification?

- No, I get why your ass
ain't got no boyfriend.

- Well, what was your excuse?

- Girl, I will beat you

just for looking me ass up
in this kitchen.

- Okay. All right.

Going, going, going.
- Gone.

- [coughing]

- Shouldn't you be in
the basement while you're sick?

- Nah, it's colder
than penguin piss down there.

Besides, Junebug's playing
a qualifying round for me

and I got to help him
or I ain't gon' get paid.

- You mean
"we" ain't gon' get paid.

- Damn it.
Why they all juke today?

Y'all see my cell phone?

- It's right there.
- Where?

- In your hand, Ma.

- Don't talk to me like that.

Oh, disrespect fast, boy.

Plus, y'all need to get
this house cleaned up

before y'all daddy get here.
[wind whistling]

- Damn, that wind been
screaming all day.

- It reminds of me when our
cousin, Marcus, got locked up.

- Why was it windy
when he got locked up?

- Well, it was a sad day

and everybody said
that cousin Marcus

made the wind blow
to dry everybody's tears up.

- Who's cousin Marcus again?

- He's our cousin
on Grandma's side.

- Mm-mm.
I think he's on Daddy's side.

- He's on both.

- This family is nasty.

- And he used to walk around
with these trash bags with him.

He would just pop out
out of the blue and say--

- Look who the wind done
blew the fuck here, Cousin!

- ♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪

♪ It's the "Ms. Pat Show" ♪

- We were just talking
about your Black ass.

How'd you get
the playing field?

- Hey, I go where
the wind takes me.

- Well, didn't that same wind
blow your ass to prison?

- Prison is a state of mind.

- Well, were you released
from that state of mind,

or did you escape
from that state of mind?

- Specifics are irrelevant,
Patricia.

- Man, get your little skinny,
ugly ass over here

with that cheap ass suit on.
- How you doing?

- Come on in here.
- What do you mean cheap suit?

This is a Steve Harvey special
right here.

You must be Brandon.

His body done finally grew big
as his big ass head.

[both laugh]

- Now, if we could just
get his mind to match,

we'll be on to something.

- I like that humor, Denise.
- Yeah.

- Last time I saw you, you had
a crack pipe in your mouth.

- You must be Janelle.

The Black power princess.

Mm-mm-mm.

Wakanda forever.

[chuckles]

Cockroach?

Cricket? Ladybug?

- It's Junebug.

- Well, it's still an insect,
ain't it?

- We've never met.
How do you know us?

- We are all born
in the mind of our guides.

Our quest is not what we learn.
It's what we remember.

- Well, niggah, do you remember
them $20 you still owe me?

- You owe yourself
some peace, okay?

I used that $20 for this suit.

Now, where's the man
of the house?

Did you run him off?

- No. But I ran his ass crazy.

He's at therapy, down there
running his big ass mouth.

- Mr. Carson.
- Mm-hmm?

- You do understand
this session costs the same,

whether or not
you choose to speak?

- Yeah?

Oh, well, overall,
everything is good, Dr. Blake.

- It also costs the same,

whether or not
you tell the truth.

And you can call me Cheryl.

What brings you in?

- My daughter felt like
I needed to talk to somebody.

- Oh. So, let's talk.

- Okay.
I'm frustrated as hell.

[sighs]
Work, life, my family.

I'm trying, but it don't seem
like they wanna see it.

All I hear is,
"Can I have this?"

or, "We wanna buy that,"
or my personal favorite,

"I ain't know that was yours."
"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did!"

I wanna say something,

but who gonna listen to a man
who ain't working, huh?

- Do you share these feelings
with your wife?

- [chuckles dryly]

- What's funny?
You and your wife don't share?

- [scoffs] Yeah, we share.
- Oh.

- Her wants, her needs,
and my money.

- Oh. Okay.

Do you know
why flight attendants

tell their adult passengers

to put on their own mask
before they help their child?

- Because you can always
have more kids?

- Because we have to make sure
we are okay

before we can help others.

How's Terry going
to take care of his family

if he isn't taking care
of himself?

You need to unplug.

What usually activates
these triggers?

- Let me see.

My spoiled kids.
- Mm-hmm.

- My trifling sister-in-law.

- So, you haven't told
any of this to your wife?

- No. She expects me to get
past her wig to read her mind.

Hell, it's easy
to read my mind.

I'm bald.

- Well, I suggest
you just say it.

And you need to relax.

What calms you?

- When Black families
win "Cupcake Wars."

- Aren't you tired
of that same, old episode?

Seriously?

- Well, when I was little,
whenever my parents fought,

my mama would sing
"Amazing Grace"

to keep from putting poison
in my daddy's liquor.

- Well, take a deep breath.

- [inhales deeply]

And sing "Amazing Grace"
until you relax.

- That's it?

I gave you money
for a Negro spiritual?

- It's a process, Terry.

- Yeah.

- And you can schedule
your next session online.

The payment as well.

- ♪ Amazing ♪

♪ Grace ♪

- He's right behind you.

[coughing]
Come on, man. Duck.

- Oh!

Phew! He missed.

- Can y'all keep it down?

- Can you study someplace else?

- What in the hell?

Hey y'all. Why it
so danggone messy up in here?

All right.
Like y'all can't hear.

- Oh! Come on, Dad.
Man, we were just about to win.

- Everybody in here now!
Denise, you too.

I got something I need to say.
Come on.

- Get 'em, Terry.
I told their asses.

- What I do?

- Nothing.
That's the problem.

Everyone needs to start pulling
their own weight around here.

- "Pull"?
Do you see these?

I wish the hell
I would pull something.

- That's all you got?
No threats, no punishment,

no killing one of these kids
as a damn example?

- My therapist encouraged me
to remain calm

when I am
confronting my triggers.

- We Black.
We always triggered.

You pay somebody
to tell you that shit?

- My therapist also suggested

that we make our kids
more responsible.

- Terry!

What it do, man?

- Who the hell are you?

- Cousin Marcus.

Uh, cousin Marcus?
Freaknik, '91?

Come on.
Cabbage patch?

Snake? The wop?

♪ Set it up on the ♪

Oh, my bad.

Wrong side of the family.

That's Terry, the man
with integrity and character.

- [chuckles]
Yeah, that's me, man.

Thanks, man.
[both laugh]

He could tell I got character.

- See that? See, cousin Marcus
knows everything.

And I know that something
in here is eschewed.

- Oh. God bless you.

- Thank you, Crackeline.

My cousin, Pat,
ain't never been this nasty.

Y'all's mom had
the only trap house in the hood

that had a four-star rating,
I'm telling you.

- Five star, nigga.
Get it right.

- Not something to brag about.

- I was literally just
telling the kids about that.

We're trying to empower them
to make better choices.

- What kind of Dr. Phil
bullshit is that?

The only thing that needs
to be empowered in here

is a broom, okay?

Let's hop on it, Grasshopper.

- Junebug.
- Well, then crawl on it.

- And Janelle have school work.

- Oh, she got school work?
- Mm-hmm.

- Two and two is four, okay?

Hit the floor.

Let's go.

- I can't find the broom.

- Oh, you mean this one?

[whimsical sting]

- How'd you do that?

- Get to work
and I might show you.

- For real?
- Deadass.

But if you don't get going,
your ass gon' be dead.

Let's hit it.

- So how long you staying?

- I guess as long as it takes.

- Don't mind him. You can stay
as long as you like.

You family. Look how big
this damn house is.

- You see how many people
are already in it?

- You know what,
I--I--I don't wanna rain

on y'all's sunshine in here.

If this ain't cool, I can--
I can just go ahead.

I mean, right, Terry?

- I--I--I'll go upstairs,
and, um,

get some more blankets
from upstairs.

♪ Amazing ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Grace ♪

- Whoo! You know he can get
a check for that, right?

- This is the first time
I see that boy be useful.

It makes me nervous.

- [coughing]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey. Hey, boy.
You still got that shit.

- [groans] I feel awful.
Everything hurts.

- I know what you need.

Try some of this!
- What's that?

- A spoonful of 'Tussin
to get your body bussin'.

Three swallows of gin
to give you that zen.

And you'll be a dumbass
all over again.

That's that 'Tussin!
[cackles]

- I love you, cuz.
[both laugh]

- [mutters]
Pass that gin.

- Saving on that seizure!
[cackles]

- I'm feeling much better.

Almost good enough to play the
whole qualifying round myself.

Hey, Junebug.
You fired.

- Boy, you can't fire nobody
you wasn't paying.

Hey, cuz,
I think that it's cool

that you came here fixed
almost everything,

but I was wondering if you
could find it in your heart

to help a sista out.

- Uh, well, what does
said sista want?

- Your girl need a man.

- Well, my girl got a man.

You gotta be
a little more specific.

- All right, I want somebody

that's tall, dark,
and handsome.

- Oh, you mean like
a man like Terry.

- Tall, dark, handsome,
and employed.

- "We can always
make room for family."

Hell, we can.

- Why you pacing around
like you short on the mortgage?

I know you ain't short
on the mortgage, are you?

- I will be if I have to add
another mouth to feed.

- You talking about Marcus?
He's family.

- Hey, I'm family too.

When the hell you gonna
look out for me too, huh?

- Man, you already got a roof
over your head.

- That got nothing
to do with you!

- Really? You know what,
I'm not about to talk to you

about this shit today, okay?

- Fine.

- Hey, don't walk away from me

when I'm not talking
to your ass, okay?

- [hums "Amazing Grace"]

- Denise, I cannot just grab
some man for you out of a bag.

And ain't you tired of
getting men out of the trash?

- Well, can you try
to recycle him then?

- [hums "Amazing Grace"]

- Why you humming
like fearing nigga?

You free.

- You're so busy trying
to save the world,

you gon' end up
losing your husband.

[continues humming]

- For real, for real, Terry?
- Yeah, for real!

- Really, Terry?
- [vocalizing]

- Ooh, how you gon' fix that,
Nigga Poppins?

- I can't believe
you being so damn selfish.

- You're the one being selfish.

- Guys, if this is about
me staying, we can--

- I said you could,
and that's that!

- We got more people than beds.
Where the hell he gonna sleep?

- On the couch,
on top of yo ass.

- What?!

Oh!
[groans]

What the hell you looking at?

- Look like a roommate.

You want bottom couch,
or top couch?

- You know I'll be damned
if I sleep on the couch

in a house
where I pay the bills.

- [screams]
- [screams] Hit the deck!

What? I almost
put these hands on you.

- Looked like you put 'em
on the floor.

- You couldn't sleep either,
huh?

- Looks like
you got more problems

than a hard couch.
- Yeah.

I ain't got nothing
against you, Marcus,

but the house
already full, man.

My wife bring in strays
like it pays.

- [chuckles]
Strays always end up

where they're supposed to be.

- You sound like my therapist.

- You ever thought about
taking Pat to therapy?

- Please. You know Pat ain't
going to nobody's therapy.

- Is your therapist
a good listener?

- She better be.
My co-pay was $10.

- Whoa, whoa, now. "She"?
- Shh!

Pat thinks it's a dude, man.

- I'm not one to judge.
That's on your ass.

Okay?

I gotta get me some rest.
- A'ight.

Marcus, how much stuff
you got up in there?

- [inhales deeply]
Enough.

- Oh, well,
thanks for the talk, man.

Good night.

[dramatic musical sting]

What in the hobo Hogwarts shit
is this?

How did you--
- [snoring]

- Bet you a dime, 'cause these
kids are off the hook again.

- Mm-hmm.

- What are y'all
wiping your ass with

under the danggone counter?
What's going on in here?!

Junebug, you buggin'!

- [chuckles]

- Cousin Marcus, this is Jesse.

- Hey. Nice to meet y'all.

- Oh, I see I'm not
the first of me you've met.

- I know plenty of Jesses.

A notorious poet
told me one time,

"Don't be ashamed
of who you are.

"Don't let them hold you down.

"Reach for the stars.

Watch the hip."

- Is that Biggie?

- It's "Juicy."

- How did you know
that Jesse was non-binary?

- He always had a weird way
of finding out stuff.

- Like the time I found out
the only reason

why you was playing
with the fire hydrant

is because you had no way
to take a bath.

- Please tell me
you didn't get naked.

- It's according
what time of day it was.

Since you tell them my biz,
how about that time you stole

that ugly-ass cat
and tried to pawn it?

- All right, all right.
I was just trying

to get us enough money
so we can get something to eat.

- Did you go to jail?
- Yes.

Right there at the pawn shop.

Cat had a damn
identity bracelet.

- But you were just trying
to feed yourself.

- Well, you know what?

I did the crime,
so I had to do the time,

even though the crime
didn't fit the punishment.

Pussy-ass cat.

- Wow. That's messed up.

[cell phone chimes]

- Is that your mama?

- Yeah.
She parked down the street.

- Good 'cause she ain't coming
in my damn house.

- Nice meeting you.
- You guys too.

I mean, you girls--
I mean, shit, y'all.

- It's good to see
your magical Negro ass.

I wanted to come see you
when you was in prison,

but, shit, I was too scared

I was gonna have flashback
and choke a bitch out.

- Hey, I tried to avoid you
in my own way.

You know what? You doing
real good, cousin Pat.

You got a beautiful family,

got this beautiful home.

You doing things I couldn't do.

- Uh, nigga,
I ain't got no money.

- I talked to Terry last night.

- Nigga, he ain't got
no money either.

- He's a good man, Pat.

- I know that.

Hell, he came from heaven
when I was going through hell.

- You've come a long way.
- What you talking about?

- Letting Terry have
that sexy-ass therapist.

- When did you start
thinking mens was sexy?

- I looked his therapist up
on LinkedIn last night.

Ha? Huh?

If that's a man,
then rooty tooty is booty.

- What the hell?

- Mm-hmm.

The old Pat would've been
down there right now

trying to find out
what's going on.

- That Pat was young, immature,
on Section Eight,

and used to sell food stamps.

Chile, I trust Terry.
- Well, good for you.

I don't know
how you trust therapy.

She's probably down there
right now convincing him

that he's miserable up
in this piece.

- Miserable?
- Yeah.

And wait till he tell her
about you

putting his "Green Mile" ass
out on the couch.

- Oh, damn.

She's cute.
Who's that?

- Terry's fine-ass therapist

that Pat is allowing
to put things up in his head.

- Oh, you better than me,
but you let me know

if we need to burn that
pretty bitch's office down.

- I trust my husband.

Now, if you unmarried people
will please excuse me,

I'm gonna pick up something
for dinner.

- What's on the menu?
Thot therapist, or Terry's ass?

- I ain't gon' eat no ass.

- So have you been meditating?

- Meditating. Singing.
- And how's that working?

- It's got me sleeping
on the damn couch.

- So, what do you think
is the problem?

[doorknob clicks]
- I don't know.

I think about my father.

He had depression too,
though we didn't call it that.

We knew when he got laid off
'cause he come home drunk,

put on Johnny Teller,
and act the fool.

An evil fool.

- But you're not your father,
Terry.

- I know.

I take care of my family.

See, Pat and I
are good together,

but it's just sometimes,

she makes choices
without discussing it first,

and it makes me feel like
we're not a team.

- Then say something.
- I want to.

And when I get ready to,

I start to think,
"I don't blame her."

That's when I feel like

the line between
me and my father

is getting blurred.

- Most people
wouldn't recognize that.

- Well, I do.

[door creaks]

I often wonder...

[loudly]
I wonder

why the hell
she's hiding behind the door.

Come on in, Pat.

- Is this Patricia?

- How you know
my government name?

- What are you doing here?

- I was in the area.
- We live 20 miles away.

- Well, I was in the city.
- We live in a different city.

- Fine.

I was worried about us.

I know I shouldn't
have been eavesdropping,

but I heard you loud and clear.

You're an amazing man
and father.

And the best teammate
a woman can ask for.

And no layoff
can ever change that.

- You don't have to say that.

- Yes, I do.

Because you don't
hear it enough.

And I promise you
I'm gonna start communicating.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Okay.

- Communication is key.

And I wouldn't be
a good communicator

if I didn't say
the session is over.

[clears throat]
It's time to go, unfortunately.

- Oh, I'm sorry about that.
We'll go.

- I'm so glad you decided
to come to therapy

and work out your issues.

- Yeah, it went really good.
- Good.

I wanna ask the therapist
something.

Sweetheart, I'm so glad
you listen to that bullshit

'cause I did not
wanna hear it, okay?

- Really, Pat?
- What?

You know
I ignore your bullshit.

Come on here.

- These people went all out
with these signs, didn't they?

- Oh, don't worry, Pat.

I got your back.

- Oh, thank you.
- For?

- This, and earlier today.

'Cause you knew
I was gonna go down

to that therapist office,
didn't you?

- I--I--I did?
I did.

- There they go!
[chuckles]

[cheers and applause]

- Yeah, Jesse!
- Yeah, that's my baby!

Yes! Yes!

- Give it to 'em, little cuz.
There ya go.

- This is a debate,
not a tailgate.

Can't take y'all
Negros nowhere. Shh.

- Welcome to tonight's oratory
and debate competition.

- Well, who is that?

- Janelle's new debate teacher.
He's name Lee Grazer.

- Oh, I will oratory his ass
all night.

- Shut your nasty ass up.
This a school.

[whimsical sting]
- Oh!

- Now, see if I knock your bag
over, it'll be a problem.

- Well, I can help you
with that, if you want.

- I got it.

- You got this.

- All right.

Good evening.

My name is Janelle Carson,

and I'll be discussing
jury nullification.

Now, in my original argument,

I was against making jurors
aware of the option to nullify

due to past travesties.

But...

after hearing from people
much closer to the situation

than myself,

I knew in my heart that I could
no longer defend that position.

My own family has suffered
because of this.

Now, what if jurors knew

that they can nullify
my mother's ruling

when she was convicted
of selling drugs?

- Why she telling
all my damn bizness?

- Now, luckily,
she didn't let that stop her.

She has gone on to become a
comedian and do amazing things.

- Keep talking, girl!
Keep talking.

- But she was lucky enough
to slip through the cracks.

- Well, now she telling
my damn business.

- Now, what about the ones
who's spent their adult lives

behind bars
over nonviolent offenses?

Just think about
all of that incredible magic

that's just wasting away.

Thank you.

- Whoo!
That my baby girl right there!

[cackles]

Oh, my bad.
I just got a little excited.

Sorry.

- You can't take
Negros nowhere.

- Nowhere.

[laughter]

- Hey, baby girl,
you did that.

- We're so proud of you.

- I'm proud of you too, Mom.
Really.

Thanks for pushing through
all those boots on your neck.

- [chuckles]
- You too, cousin Marcus.

- Aw, thank you.

- I'm sorry you guys had to get
dressed just to watch me lose,

but I couldn't defend that

and I had to speak
from my heart.

- Well, I say
that's a moral victory.

- Well, I say
please let a bitch know

that you gon'
take a dive next time

so I can put some money on it.

- Shoes off. I just cleaned
the kitchen floors.

- Okay.

- Thanks again
for reminding me, Marcus.

- Mm-hmm.
My pleasure.

- [giggles]
Yes!

Y'all, I finally got asked
to join a clan.

Ooh, that was a bad choice
of words.

I actually got invited
to join a e-sports team.

- Might as well called a clan.

All they say is "nigga"
all day.

- And why are you so excited?

- Because it means
more exposure,

brand deals.

And it means that
I can make enough money

so I can stop
wearing y'all drawers.

both: What?
- Mines be dirty.

- Well, it looks like
my work here is done.

- I thought you had
no place to go?

- I never said that.
I just asked if I could stay.

- [clears throat]
- Oh, wait a minute.

- Marcus, I want a man!

- Listen, it will happen
when it's supposed to.

[wind whistling]

Well, there it is.

When the wind blows,

it's time for me to go.

Whew!

Well, you guys, until the wind
blows me your way again,

I'ma fuck with you!

Trudy!

- That nigga stole my umbrella!

[doorbell chimes]

- If you don't stop messing up
them damn bags,

that's some poor kid's kite.

- Hi. I'm Lee Grazer.

I found your license
in the auditorium.

- Oh. Wow.

Thank you,
but this is my Georgia ID.

How did you find me?

- Well, it's a playing field.

It was kinda obvious.

- Well, I'm sure that
your wife must be happy

to have a gentleman like you.

- I'm not married.

- Girlfriend?

Boyfriend?

- No.

- You thirsty?

- Yeah, I'd say so.

- Okay. Well, come on in.

Straight ahead.

Wrong color, but thank you,
Nigga Poppins.

[cell gates slam shut]

- Hey. Where the hell
did you get that umbrella?

[whimsical sting]

[upbeat music]

- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't take
no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And you can't get enough ♪

[upbeat music]

- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't take
no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And you can't get enough ♪

- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't take
no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And you can't get enough ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ With a man and kids ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And it's
"The Ms. Pat Show" ♪

♪ ♪