All language subtitles for The.Ms.Pat.Show.S01E04_English

- Can I ask y'all something?

We family tonight, right?

And I need y'all to be honest.

And I'm gonna start
with the white people

because according
to our history books,

you guys are first
at everything

except track and field.

Other than niggers,
what have you heard us call?

And I need that downright
racist shit.

You know, what you hear
at a bar

or at a Thanksgiving dinner.

- African-American.

- Hell no, that shit
on my baby birth certificate.

Come on,
we can do better than that.

- Porch monkey.

- What the fuck you say?

Now, that's the main reason
why I bought

my real house
with no front porch.

Hell, I don't even
fuck with bananas.

White people, what do you think
we call you guys?

- Crackers.
Trailer park trash.

- Mm-mm, baby.

We done upgraded y'all ass
like a jailbroke Fire Stick.

We call y'all
Mountain Dew babies,

colonizers, Snicker lickers.

That's when a white woman
suck a black dick.

But my favorite thing
to call you guys is ignorant.

'Cause look at it,
we all ignorant

in some way, shape and form.

But I gotta say, I'd rather
be ignorant than ignant.

'Cause when you ignorant,
you have a baby

by a cheating-ass nigga.

But when you ignant,

you have two babies
by a cheating-ass nigga.

Wait a minute.
What that make me?

- I'll be damned.

- Who's in our bathroom?

- I don't know.

Shit, you the man
in this relationship--go see.

- Nah, OG.

You always say
you from the streets.

This one on you.

Ow! Ow!
- Go see who's in the bathroom.

- All right!
- You be getting raw.

- All right, baby, damn!

- The hell you gonna do
with that?

Mute 'em?

- You know, I used to
throw hatchets in the military.

- That ain't no fucking
hatchet, Terry.

- Shh!

- [yells indistinctly]

- I will beat the fuck
out of you, Terry.

And stop all this yelling.
It's 6:00 in the morning.

Why y'all being so ghetto?

- What the hell are you doing
in our bathroom?

- I'm using it.
What'd you think I'm doing?

- Why don't you take your
loud ass down the hallway

and use the other bathroom?

- Oh, hell no.

That port-a-potty
down the hall?

Mm-mm, them kids don't be
cleaning that bathroom.

The drain is clogged

and the showerhead
got more calcium than milk.

- Why don't you just clean it?

- Now, why would I
clean a bathroom

that I don't use, Terry?

You're not making no sense.

You must not be
getting enough sleep.

Oh, and by the way, y'all out

of the seaweed scrub
that I like.

Get some more.

- Bitch, get some money.

- Pat, you need to talk
to your sister.

Good googly boogly!

She got that bathroom so nasty,

the toilet just threw up.

Now I can't sleep.

- Me neither.

- Since we up early,

you wanna give me
some of that nappy grip?

- Hell no, my pussy on layaway.

- ♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪

♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪

- Denise, you need to learn
how to respect our house.

You run around here acting like
you done co-sign on some shit.

- Well, I thought
what's mine is yours

and what's yours is mine.

- But you ain't got no mine.

You need to respect me
and Terry.

- Fine, Pat-Pat, I understand.

- And he's fixing
that bathroom today,

and I don't wanna
catch you back in mine.

- Fine, from now on,
you won't even know I'm here.

Just like sex with four inches.

- Ashley.
- Hey, y'all.

- Where the hell you been?

- Clearing my mind and
re-centering my spirit.

- Well, did your spirit
tell you I called five times?

- No, but it told me
to hit that block button.

- Really?
Thank you for coming back.

- I didn't come here for you.

Janelle said she needed
my help with something.

- You left the club
before I got a chance

to tell you
what I wanted to say.

- I'm really not interested
in that conversation.

- Ain't you some kind
of counselor?

I mean, shouldn't you be trying
to fix this shit

on a family rate?

- That's a conflict
of no interest.

- Well, we're here now,
and I'm sorry.

See, I can be
the bigger person.

- Child, you already are.

- Don't get uppercut, Denise.

- What you said was offensive.

- I'm a comedian.
It comes with the territory.

- You don't get a pass
at offending people

just because you're a comedian.

- I do jokes
that pop in my head.

Girl, that's just
how my brains work.

My mom used to call us
a one-arm musty motherfucker,

and we never got offended.

- A one-arm musty what?

- Yeah, but that was because
we only could afford

to put deodorant under one arm.

- And we kept it moving,
and we turn out fine.

- Fine?

I count one,
two felons up in here.

- That's her mama fault.

- We got the same mama.

- Oh, that's her daddy fault.

- Y'all don't see this
is a generational cycle.

That's not okay.

And I'm not gonna
be around anybody

who keeps choosing that cycle.

- Okay.
Denise, you need to leave.

- See, childish.
- Okay, okay.

Look, what do I need to do?

- You're back.

- Hey, pumpkin.
I got your text.

- You don't know
how glad I am to see you.

Can we talk? You know.

- Ha! Ah!

[speaking French]

- What the hell I need
to behave for?

- You know French?

- How do you know
how to speak French,

but you can't say ambulance?

- Amb-a-lance, I said.

- Look, Janelle has a friend
coming over,

and they're different.

- They're?

- How many friends
are coming over?

- Just one, Ma.

- She said, "They're."

- Yeah, when did
"they're" become one?

- They Siamese twins?

- That's conjoined twins now.

- Siamese twins,
conjoined twins.

No wonder y'all think
I'm offensive.

Y'all keep changing
the damn words.

How many friends
are coming over?

- My friend is
gender nonconforming.

- Gender what the fuck is that?

[doorbell rings]

- This is a kid, Ma,
so be mindful of what you say.

- I'm not a goddamn
monster, Ashley.

- Hi.

- Are you the people
my daughter was talking about?

- I'm Jesse.
- And I'm confused.

- Ma.
- I'm Ms. Pat. Come on in.

- I'm Janelle's sister, Ashley.

Ma, Janelle and Jesse
need to go upstairs

and work on their debate.

- Janelle can't have boys
in her room.

- I don't identify
as a boy or a girl.

- Like E.T.?
- Ma.

- I'm not an alien.

- No, everybody
just know E.T. wasn't--

- [clears throat]

- I'm sorry.

- Their pronouns
are them, they, and their.

Right, Jesse?

- Well, do they have any verbs?

- I'm gender nonconforming.

- It means that they don't fit
into expectations

of who people
think they should be.

- Thanks for that.
- You're welcome.

- Sounds like I need
to mind my damn business.

- That works too.
- Let's go.

- Ashley, how am I doing?
- Girl.

- Sorry for how
my mom was acting.

- Don't sweat it.

But you didn't have to do
what you did back there.

- What'd I do?
- You tried to explain me.

I don't want to be somebody's
teachable moment.

- Oh, I was just trying to make
sure you weren't uncomfortable.

- Don't assume that I was.

People make assumptions
about me my entire life.

I don't need another one.

- Touché.

But if my mom calls you
Pokémon, don't come to me.

- [laughs]
I'm not worried about her.

And trust me, you should meet
the other people I come across.

Your mom seems like
she's actually trying to learn.

- I hope so.

So should we jump
into this research?

- Can we talk about how
I'm not looking forward

to this project?
It's so antiquated.

- Right, like, who cares
about debating abortion?

- Yeah, I used to hoop
with Migos all the time.

You know, they were gonna
take me on tour,

but Offset got in trouble,

and you know
how that type of stuff goes.

- Dang.

Yo, you ever
seen somebody get shot?

- [scoffs]
- Oh! Were you scared?

- Stop all that lying, boy.

The only one you know been shot

is your mama and her brother
and your granny.

Or did your granny
shoot her brother?

- Yo, why you be lying,
Junebug?

- Fool, I ain't lying.

- Your dad straight
busted you, nigga.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What did he just say?

- Busted?

- You know what the hell
I'm talking about.

- What's going on?

- He just called Junebug
the N-word.

- Nigga, what?
- What?

- It's not that big of a deal.
It's just how we talk.

- How you talk?

- Hey, hey,
Junebug said it's cool.

I mean, we literally say it,
like, all the time.

- Plus, I'm Mexican.

We were the Black family
in town before y'all got here.

- See, he's a minority too.

- It doesn't work like that.

- So you gonna let El Salvador
and Miracle Whip Devil

call you nigga?
- Pat.

- Well, isn't that
the Paula Dean pot

calling the kettle racist.

- Black people can't be racist.

- Ma, you just called Sergio,
who is Mexican, El Salvador.

And Ryan, Miracle Whip Devil.

- You know I didn't mean
it like that.

- You always don't mean
it like that.

- Okay, you know, we don't mean
anything by it either, okay?

Junebug is our boy.
- Boy?

[laughs]
Man.

- Y'all working a little bit
of Jesus

that left up in this house,
baby.

- Junebug, your friends

got five seconds
to leave this house.

- But Dad!
- One.

- I didn't mean to--
- Two.

- Three, four, five.

- You moving like
you paying rent.

- Get your asses up
out of here.

- Dad, they were just--

- I'm going upstairs to finish
fixing the bathroom.

- Ooh, you in trouble.

- Can, y'all keep it down?
We're trying to study.

- Your brother here
letting his white friends

call him nigga boy.

- Janelle, tell Ma that it's
a part of our generation.

We all listen to rap music,

and it has nothing to do
with race.

- It's not generational
because I don't use it.

Nobody should.

- Amen, baby.

Because the word
is just for us.

- Did you not hear
what she just said?

- Yeah, she said only Black
people

should be able to use the word.

Right, Jesse?

- This means
I can't answer that.

- We have other ignorance
to finish debating.

Let's go.

- Ma, who is that?
- His name is Jesse.

- Not a he.
- Her name.

- Not a her, Ma.
- That nigga named Jesse, okay?

- See, that's why I didn't
wanna come back over here.

You're never gonna change.

- I am. I'm trying.
- No, you're not.

You're mad
at Junebug's friends,

but you just as bad as them.

I bet you couldn't go one day

without saying
a derogatory word.

- Girl, that's a sucker bet.

I can do that in my sleep.

- 'Cause that's the only time
your mouth is shut.

- No, for real, I wanna break
this generational curse

Ashley keep talking about.

- Okay.
Then let's make it interesting.

The loser does my feet.

- Don't nobody want to do
your raggedy-ass feet.

- I think
that's the perfect bet.

- Actually, why don't we all
play a game of spades?

- Oh, now, you know
she can't play spades

without talking shit.

- Exactly.
- Oh!

- Yes, I can.
- All right then, it's a bet.

- Bitch, bastard,
trick ho, ho trick.

Motherfucker, fatherfucker,
slut, squirrel pussy.

Republican.
Okay, I got it all out of me.

Come on, let's go get your ass
with the spade.

- [whistling]

- You're not finished
with the bathroom yet?

- Nope.

- You need any help?

- Nope.

- Look, Dad, I'm sorry

for what happened out there
with my friends.

You know, I didn't think
it was that big of a deal.

It's just how we talk.
- Why?

How is that word
coming in their mouth

not upsetting to you?

- Well, if they meant it
in a bad way,

then, of course, I'd be angry,

but they're my friends,
and it's just a word.

- That's where
you're wrong, son.

It's not just a word.

- But Mama uses it
all the time.

- Look, I'm not a fan of her
using it, either,

but your mama is Black.

And she don't listen to nobody.

- Yeah, that's true.

- I remember the day
I joined the military.

[chuckles]

I was on my way back
to the barracks.

I ran into these brothers,

and we were just
letting niggas fly.

"What up, nigga?"

"Nigga looking clean
in them fatigues."

[laughs]

It was freeing, man.
It was empowering.

It was ours.

When I got back to the barrack,

my white bunkmate
took one look at me and said,

"I ain't rooming
with no nigger."

Man, that shit cut.

That one little word
had a different meaning

depending on
whose mouth it was in.

- Wow. That's crazy.

- Look, son,
all I'm trying to tell you is,

you own that word
to use however you see fit.

It comes from your blood,
your history.

But you don't have the right
to allow someone to use it.

You understand?

- Yeah, I think so.

- And I would never
hang with anybody

who ain't never get that,
but, uh...

I'm sure that you gonna make
the right choice for yourself.

All right?

- Okay, Dad.

- Study long,
study wrong, baby.

- You just remember you can't
say anything derogatory.

- I'ma call a spade a spade.

- I'm 'bout to run a Boston
on that ass.

- You bout to catch the bus
back to Boston without an ass.

- What's that mean?
- She thinks she's gonna win.

- Come on 'round that corner
so I can bust your head

to the white meat.
- I know what that one means.

- Wait, what?

We playing Joker, Joker,
Deuce, Deuce?

- Don't get out the car
if you didn't come to play.

- Y'all slide my books
on over here.

- Nig--I mean, son.

You cutting hearts already?
You better not renege.

- What was that?

- I said "neg." I can say that.

You can't.

- Come on, Auntie.

- Come on,
I know you over that bleed.

You need a tampon?

Come on, bitch.
I mean, female dog. Come on.

- I ain't got nothing.

- Yup, just like in real life.

Hey, Terry, you wanna
get in this spade game?

- No, baby, I'm gonna go
and finish up.

Besides, y'all don't want
none of this smoke.

- Junebug, you just reneged.

- You're a reneger.

- You just gone keep finding
a way, ain't you?

Give me my three books.

- See, somebody
been practicing.

- You know how I do.

- Bam. Rack 'em up, baby.
I made my books.

- I still ain't got nothing.

- Man, I'm done.
Y'all too aggressive.

- You would be aggressive, too,
if you was in prison

with a lady named Bruce

and had to play cards
for a pack of noodles.

- Is that true?

all: Yeah.
- Hell yeah.

- For all you Falcons fans,

this is what winning look like.

♪ What winning looks like,
what winning looks like ♪

- 306 to 232.
- Period.

- You lucky bitches.

- Oh! Lucky bitches?

So you lost the game
and the bet.

Take off your shoes, Auntie.
Come on.

- Yo, get your Freddy
Krueger-ass feet away from me!

- Get buying!

- I want a recount.

- Take the loss, Trump.

- Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

- You should identify as Jesse
with the smart-ass mouth.

- Hey, Jesse's right.

She beat you fair and square.
- Period.

- Coming from a nigga
who can't even

get a book from the li-berry.
- Library.

- Shut your retarded ass up.

- Ma.
- You can't say that.

- Yeah, I even knew
that one was bad.

- Y'all kids are too damn
sensitive these days.

It was just a joke.
I'm a comedian.

- But jokes can hurt people.

- Back in my day,
the only thing that hurt

was an ass-whupping.

Hey, people gonna talk shit.
It's life.

- But it shouldn't be.

That's why we all
walk around scared now.

'Cause we all got told
that our hurt didn't matter,

but it does.

- I've been trying
to tell her that

since I got here.
- What?

Why is it okay
for me to let you be you,

but you won't let me be me?

- Because on Tuesday at Kroger,
you were "just being you"

when you said you got gypped
on that toaster on clearance.

- And remember when you say

you didn't want to buy
my school portrait

because you said
my eyes looked too chinky?

- Wait a minute, now,
you can't say "chinky," either?

- No.

- Asian communities are being
attacked like crazy right now.

And racial slurs
like that don't help.

Y'all are a part
of the problem.

- Black people get attacked
all the time

and they don't say nothing.

- Did you say
anything for them?

- I ain't got time
to be watching.

I got shit to do.

- Okay, fine,
somebody need to invite me

to the word change meetings

'cause they seem to happen
every three seconds.

- There's not a meeting.

- Well, then why do I have
to change how I stay stuff

just to make somebody else
feel comfortable?

- White people said
the same thing

when they had to go from saying
nigger to "Negro" to "colored."

Now African-American.

- Now, you know
that ain't the same.

- It literally is.

- Junebug, shut the fuck up.

'Cause you about one step off

from letting your friends
call you a jiggaboo.

- The only reason
you feel that way

is because Negro and colored
are sensitive to you.

It's hypocritical to think
the other words you say

aren't just as sensitive
to other people.

- I don't know them people.

- I still can't believe
I can't say that word.

- Sis, you grown.

You can say whatever
you wanna say.

- Yeah, and saying whatever

she wanna say
comes with consequences.

- What are you talking about?
I support the Asian community.

That's where we get
our fucking hair from.

And I would never hurt nobody
because they're Asian.

I grew up watching
that Japanese nigga, Bruce Lee,

kicking and slapping
every damn body.

- That man ain't Japanese.
That man Chinese.

- Bruce Lee was a Chinaman?

- Uh-uh.
- Wow.

- I'm done.
- Was that bad?

Jesse, was that bad?

- I think anybody not oppressed
by those words

should avoid saying them.

I mean, if we all
understood that,

no one would ever have to have
these conversations.

- You right.

- Wow.

"You right."

Those are words
I haven't heard in 30 years.

- What that supposed to mean?

- Guess it means
I'll never be enough.

- What that supposed to mean?

Where are you going?
- Leaving.

I was just here for Janelle,
remember?

- Can you please stay for me?

- I don't think
that's a good idea.

[doorbell rings]

- I think that might be my mom.
- Are y'all done?

- Yeah, we're good.

- Hi, um, I'm here
to pick up Jesse.

- Come on in.

- Hope he wasn't
too much trouble.

- He?
- It's okay, Janelle.

I'll see you tomorrow.
Bye, Ms. Pat.

- Bye, Jesse.

- Attitude, young man.

[sighs]
I'm sorry.

- I don't think Jesse
want to be called a man.

- He went through
that whole act with you, huh?

My apologies.
He's just a little confused.

I'm considering counseling.
The church recommended a camp.

- A camp?

Why would you wanna
send your child to a camp

because they're neutrogena?

Ain't nothing wrong
with being neutrogena.

- Gender-neutral?

- Yeah, ain't nothing wrong
with them, either.

- Look, I really
appreciate that,

but none of this concerns you.

Goodnight.

- Wait.

I almost lost my child
just like you

by thinking she was confused,
but she wasn't.

She just who she is,
and I had to accept that.

You can't change who they are,

but you can always support
who they become.

- Good night.

- Jesse!

Your mom is a bitch.

You welcome back here anytime.
Don't bring her ass.

- You tried, Ma.

- I didn't know their parents
were like that.

I mean,
Jesse's always so confident.

- You gotta be to survive.

- I know them words
more than I know myself.

- Me too.

- Did I ever make you
feel like that?

- Sometimes.

- I swear to God, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I love you
just the way you are,

and nobody can
ever change that.

- I love you too.

- Will you please stay?

- Fine.
- Aw!

You 'bout to my eyelashes
fall off.

- And you can eat
all the pussy you wanna eat.

- Feast your eyes
on the guest bathroom

anyone would be proud to use

while they keeping
their ass out of mine.

- Damn, this room
clean up nice.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- You know how I get
when you fix shit.

You finish a bathroom
in two days,

but you haven't finished
that wallpaper?

- 'Cause fixing wallpaper
don't keep Denise

out of my face.

- What you trying to say?

- Look at what I pulled
out of that drain.

- Get the fuck outta here.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, you done found
my edges.

And that's exactly why
I was using your bathroom

'cause somebody
had clogged this drain.

- Well, then,
why don't somebody unclog it?

- 'Cause your kids is lazy.

- Where you going?

- Oh, I'm gonna go
and break something else

so you can watch me fix it.

One, 'cause you so fine.

Two, 'cause you all mine.

And three,
'cause we gone grind.

That's a fine-ass
reneger there.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm!

Don't come in my bedroom.

Baby, get the seaweed scrub!

- I was worried your mama
would answer.

- Look, um,

my family doesn't think
I should be letting y'all

call me the N-word anymore.

And my dad doesn't even think

I should be
hanging out with y'all.

- Because I said nigga?

Your moms called me El Salvador

and him Miracle Whip devil,

and we're the racist ones?

- I don't even like
Miracle Whip.

- Yeah, but you will destroy
a Mountain Dew, though.

- So what do you gonna do,
ni--

I mean, Junebug?

Are we gonna hang, or...?

- Ma, can I go shoot hoops?
- Boy, you can't hoop.

You better go get a kite.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't take
no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And you can't get enough ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't take
no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And you can't get enough ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ With three Black kids ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And it's
"The Ms. Pat Show" ♪