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(clock ticking)
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(birds chirping)
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-(door opens) -(footsteps approach)
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-(Colin sighs) -(dog barking)
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(sighs)
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You know, I-I think she will be here.
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She's probably just stuck in traffic.
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Why don't we head in?
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Wait inside?
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(car driving by)
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(light piano music playing)
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♪ ♪
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You know, maybe she got lost.
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Brooke: She told you she was coming?
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Yeah, it seemed that way. We emailed, but I don't know.
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Brooke: Colin.
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-Can you put your phone down? -Colin: (sighs) I'm sorry.
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(clears throat) I'm sorry. This is just tough.
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-I was looking forward to seeing her. -But you've done what you can.
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You opened the door.
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And you have to remember-- she experienced something traumatic.
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But, on the bright side,
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gives us an opportunity to focus on you.
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About moving forward.
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Have you given any thought about
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what's next for you? Plans for the future?
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(sighs) No. I mean, not really.
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Just...
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Trying to lay a few bricks,
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get a foundation under me,
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-you know? -Oh, that's a teensy bit vague.
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I'd love to hear more.
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Get my fucking ducks in a row.
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-Mend some fences. -Okay.
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-So, you're making amends to people? -Uh,
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-well, I'm trying. -Okay, putting Hannah aside for the moment.
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What about the other people in your life?
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-No one else matters. -Well, let's start small.
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Talk about tomorrow.
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What does tomorrow look like for you?
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(sighs) Well, one thing I have to do is get a new place.
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Can't stay at my buddy Matthew's anymore. His wife...
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Boof.
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I looked at a couple of places this week in Venice.
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You know, nothing great.
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But you have the means?
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I thought you said the government seized everything.
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I still got stake in my parents' companies, you know, and...
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few things squirreled away. (clicks tongue)
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But I go in these houses, they just all feel,
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you know, so empty without her.
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Can I just-- I'm just gonna check my phone one more time.
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Let's-- Let's get back to your plans.
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Have you given any thought to work?
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Jesus Christ, I feel like
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you're not listening to me at all. This is what's on my mind.
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This is what I'm dealing with.
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You're just ignoring that. It's like you're not responding
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-to what's going on in the room. -I apologize,
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but this is our last session, and I don't want to waste it.
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How is addressing what
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the patient's struggling with a waste?
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Brooke: Well, I guess the way I see it,
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this isn't a bad thing.
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You reached out to her, she was receptive.
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Now, you have to wait and see what happens next.
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I-I don't mean to be dismissive or callous,
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but I also don't want to let you leave here
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without covering certain things.
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Now last week was good.
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I want us to keep going.
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I don't want to spend a whole session talking about someone
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who I don't know, who's not here.
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You are going to be on your own.
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I want to make sure we're laying the groundwork for success.
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(quietly): All right.
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I'll be fine.
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Hm.
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(sighs) I got invited
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to this speaker series. There's this...
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tech campus in Playa Del Rey.
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Once a month, they have someone come give a talk.
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They asked me if I wanted to do something
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about the pitfalls of working in the industry.
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-That's great. -Yeah, maybe.
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I could do that for a while, see where it takes me.
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You know what, I'm sorry. I just can't pretend
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like my mind is somewhere that it's not.
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(sighs)
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Would you be comfortable sharing
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what you said to Hannah in your email?
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I-I talked about how much you've helped me.
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That you kicked my ass a little bit, and that it's a good thing.
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It's helping me get somewhere. You know,
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growth, responsibility, being a fucking adult.
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Thirty years too late, but, hey, that's me.
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And her response?
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She seemed open to meeting, which, you know,
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made me kinda nervous, thinking about what I would say.
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And what would you say, if she were here?
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That I fucked up.
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That I know it.
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That I love her, and that I always will.
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And that I am sorry for the way I lied to her.
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And that I am taking accountability. Ha!
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Thanks to you.
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That you've made me dig into and under all the stupid,
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fucked-up defense mechanisms I have.
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All the bullshit that I spin.
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You're pulling something out of me, Brooke.
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Something that I didn't even know was still there.
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The person I was before all the...
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everything that sent me spiraling out of control.
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The person Hannah married?
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That was me.
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When I was lying in that hospital bed,
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this close to dying, I-I found him again.
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That's why I straightened up my act. I knew,
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you know, I had to get back to her
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as soon as I could.
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(scoffs)
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Just turns out it was too late.
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You know, it's...
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interesting because you never really talked
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about her until last week.
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-Why do you think that is? -(sighs)
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Colin: It's too raw, I guess.
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You know, it's that thing that's hovering in
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your peripheral vision that you're pretending isn't there,
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but it is. It always is.
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And it's following you around wherever you go.
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Now I just have to find a way forward without her,
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knowing that she will always be the one,
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but that she will never be mine.
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Listen, I-I know what you're thinking.
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"Is this guy a fuckin' stalker?" Well, I'm not.
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That isn't what I was thinking.
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Colin: I know I have to let her go...
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and just be grateful for the time that I did have with her.
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Brooke: I think that's...
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It's a lovely sentiment,
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and I think how we all have to look
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at those people we love,
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or loved
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at one time,
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but know we can never be with.
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Good for you.
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That's it?
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We talked about narratives,
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stories we all tell ourselves
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to make sense of
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a complicated world, filled with
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emotionally complicated people.
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Now, last week,
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yours was vilifying Hannah to make yourself
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feel better. -Well, obviously,
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I've reconsidered that perspective since then.
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Which is good,
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but now, there's a new story.
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-Your love is unwavering. -What,
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you're telling me that I don't love her?
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I'm not telling you anything. I'm...
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(sighs) sort of stumbling around for my point.
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Yeah, no shit. Heh.
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I guess what I'm getting at is that
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you are doing all of this in a vacuum.
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(whispers): She's not here.
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We don't know why.
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And that's part of the reason why
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I'm reluctant to dwell on the subject.
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Yeah, but I do know. (scoffs)
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-She's moved on. -Did she say that?
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She's seeing someone. Or not seeing, she's...
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involved with someone. In a relationship.
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I heard from a mutual friend.
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-When did you learn that? -This week.
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Why did you wait to tell me?
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You know, I'm sorry if I'm not telling you things
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-in the order you want to hear them. -No, it's just
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I would think you'd be grappling with it.
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This is me grappling with it. Or I would be
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grappling with it if I could hold your fuckin' attention.
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Brooke: So when you were talking about
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your broken heart, that's why?
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-You meant it was too late. -Yes!
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Were you shocked? I mean, it's been four years.
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Well, just because you see something coming,
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-doesn't make it hurt any less when it hits you. -Sure.
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So her coming here today was about mending fences?
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Yeah, to apologize. Show her that
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she doesn't have to hate me anymore.
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Brooke: And is that what bothers you more?
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That she's out there in the world thinking
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you're a bad person, or not having
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-a romantic connection with her? -Can't it be both?
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Absolutely, yes, but you know
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that a romantic relationship was probably off the table
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given the way things ended.
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And, as far as her changing her mind about you,
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that still hasn't been ruled out.
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And again,
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you've done what you can. You've opened the door.
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No door is open!
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Okay? I invited her here. She didn't show up.
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She's with another guy. They're having a...
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Having a what?
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Is Hannah pregnant?
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(sighs) Yes.
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-Twenty-two weeks or something. -I thought she couldn't...
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(laughs) Yeah, so did I.
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Maybe they figured it out. Or maybe this dude's just got
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a magic cock that can deliver the payload
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with superior force and accuracy.
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So with all of your difficulties,
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you never thought to take a look to see
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whether you might be the cause?
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-That was a joke about the magic cock. -I know, but did you?
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-Get checked out. -No. I-I'm good.
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So you never went to see a doctor,
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even at your advanced age?
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"Advanced age"? I beg your pardon?
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(wry chuckle)
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A guy can pop a Viagra on his deathbed and knock someone up.
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It's possible, but it gets harder as you get older.
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Sperm motility drops.
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-What are you getting at? -I don't know, honestly.
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Last week, you left here hoping
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she would come in, and in the interim,
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you've learned that she's seeing another man,
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is having a child, and you didn't lead with that.
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I had to dig that out of you,
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and I'm trying to figure out why.
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Well, I, I-- you know, I don't know.
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Anyway, we don't have to talk about Hannah anymore, alright?
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I know you want to focus on the future.
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Reproduction
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-can be a tough subject, but I want to make sure-- -Wait, wait, wait.
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Reproduction? Who the fuck's talking about reproduction?
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Brooke: An inability to conceive
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can be challenging for men.
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Their masculinity is wrapped up in it.
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Colin: (scoffs) Holy shit.
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My masculinity's not wrapped up in an ability
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to reproduce. I didn't want kids, okay?
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But you tried.
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For a long time, and then,
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-this other guy comes along-- -I'm not worried about it!
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This is difficult for a lot of men
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to talk about it, particularly when they're working
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with a female therapist.
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Oh, Brooke. No, you're-- This is-- this is not it.
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These things are utterly random, but so many men
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are consumed by this idea of virility.
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We simply ignore the fact that some men simply cannot--
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Oh, good god, I had a vasectomy when I was 30 years old!
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Alright, nine or 10 years before I even met Hannah, okay?
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I didn't want kids. My dick works fine.
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Mystery solved.
259
00:12:37,033 --> 00:12:38,433
Why?
260
00:12:39,433 --> 00:12:41,233
(scoffs) I was a 30-year-old guy
261
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:44,500
with a few hundred million dollars in the bank.
262
00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:46,726
I-I-- It was...
263
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,430
it was a business decision.
264
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,130
It's actually funny.
265
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,470
I had dinner. My dad, he set me up
266
00:12:53,533 --> 00:12:56,473
with this entertainment lawyer he knew. This...
267
00:12:56,533 --> 00:12:59,003
This guy he'd done business with.
268
00:12:59,066 --> 00:13:02,066
Slick white hair, pinky ring, very old school,
269
00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:04,103
sort of past his prime.
270
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:05,596
He lived in this, uh,
271
00:13:05,666 --> 00:13:07,496
this old apartment tower in West Hollywood.
272
00:13:07,566 --> 00:13:10,666
He has me pick him up there and take him to Dan Tana's.
273
00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:12,233
Do you know Dan Tana's?
274
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:19,070
Uh, well, we have dinner,
275
00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,573
and he knows everyone there.
276
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:24,073
There's a vodka martini waiting for him when he sits down.
277
00:13:24,133 --> 00:13:25,503
You know, just a total operator.
278
00:13:25,566 --> 00:13:27,526
I tell him I made all this money,
279
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,170
asked him if he has any advice,
280
00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:32,033
and he says, "Get a vasectomy.
281
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:35,230
"You don't want some kid knockin' on your door 20 years from now,
282
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:37,670
who has your eyes, lookin' for a handout."
283
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,533
(soft laugh)
284
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,570
And that-that was the only advice he gave me.
285
00:13:41,633 --> 00:13:43,173
He just sat there and ate his veal
286
00:13:43,233 --> 00:13:45,073
and told me stories about Diana Ross.
287
00:13:45,133 --> 00:13:47,233
(sigh, soft laugh)
288
00:13:50,366 --> 00:13:52,196
Anyway, it was sort of
289
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:54,366
a random experience.
290
00:13:55,733 --> 00:13:57,373
(sighs)
291
00:14:04,566 --> 00:14:06,526
If I seem overly blunt and a bit direct,
292
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,330
it's because we're short on time and I want to get
293
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,530
to the bottom of a few things today before you leave.
294
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,700
Okay.
295
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:16,596
There are lies you are telling yourself,
296
00:14:16,666 --> 00:14:18,726
and there are lies you are telling me, and I need to know
297
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,100
which is which if I am going to be of any help to you.
298
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:25,466
So, why don't you stop telling me lies,
299
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:27,233
and we can go from there?
300
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,430
I-I'm not telling any lies.
301
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:32,700
Anything short of complete honesty right now
302
00:14:32,766 --> 00:14:34,526
will be upsetting to me.
303
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,230
I have given you my time, my sincere effort,
304
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:41,070
and I expect you to tell me the truth in return.
305
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,200
Okay.
306
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,303
Great.
307
00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:47,773
You had a vasectomy.
308
00:14:48,533 --> 00:14:49,633
Yes.
309
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:53,130
And that business about, "We tried everything" was...
310
00:14:54,166 --> 00:14:56,026
That was true.
311
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:58,000
Make that make sense to me.
312
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,670
It snowballed.
313
00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:05,733
The whole pregnancy thing.
314
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,500
At first, you know, we were just fucking all the time.
315
00:15:08,566 --> 00:15:11,066
There wasn't an issue.
316
00:15:11,133 --> 00:15:13,603
And, yeah, we-we'd talk about kids, but it was just...
317
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:15,426
just fantasy.
318
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,000
Wasn't making plans, you know? It was like you say anything.
319
00:15:18,066 --> 00:15:21,766
"Oh, we'll move to fuckin' Tuscany one day and make wine."
320
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:24,466
I mean...
321
00:15:24,533 --> 00:15:26,003
It wasn't like, you know,
322
00:15:26,066 --> 00:15:28,266
"I want kids." "Me, too. Let's try."
323
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:30,403
She was on birth control.
324
00:15:30,466 --> 00:15:32,226
And then she stopped taking it, and it was--
325
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:33,770
I think she wanted to surprise me.
326
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,533
It wasn't a fantasy for her.
327
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,670
Colin: Which I realized too late.
328
00:15:38,733 --> 00:15:41,133
And then she was all upset because it wasn't happening,
329
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,270
and then, at that point,
330
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:46,033
it sort of became this adventure,
331
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:48,730
trying all these weird things, but it wasn't...
332
00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:52,996
(sighs) Look, I admit
333
00:15:53,066 --> 00:15:56,766
I mislead somewhat when I told you we tried everything.
334
00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:01,130
We were just having lots of sex. That's all. I--
335
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,770
It sounds terrible, I know, but
336
00:16:04,033 --> 00:16:06,073
when we were in it, when I was...
337
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,433
You know, I knew
338
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,170
I didn't want kids,
339
00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:11,373
and this seemed like, "Oh, we'll try."
340
00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:13,433
You know? And then things will go back to normal.
341
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,230
We'll keep doing our thing and,
342
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:18,170
you know, for whatever reason, she won't get pregnant,
343
00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:21,433
and that'll be our story.
344
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:24,000
I didn't think it would drag on the way it did.
345
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:27,566
But when it had been a while, I just couldn't...
346
00:16:27,633 --> 00:16:31,503
I mean, how does a person possibly reveal that?
347
00:16:31,566 --> 00:16:33,366
Hannah still doesn't know?
348
00:16:34,466 --> 00:16:37,266
-No, I-I did tell her. -When?
349
00:16:37,333 --> 00:16:39,333
After I got arrested.
350
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,100
They slapped the cuffs on you, and you said,
351
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,466
"By the way, I had a vasectomy"?
352
00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:46,573
When she visited me in prison with a stack of divorce papers.
353
00:16:46,633 --> 00:16:49,403
-You did it as an act of retribution. -No, no. It was just--
354
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,466
She asked you for a divorce,
355
00:16:51,533 --> 00:16:54,403
-and you threw it in her face. -We were laying everything
356
00:16:54,466 --> 00:16:56,466
out on the table, alright? No more secrets.
357
00:16:56,533 --> 00:16:58,703
Brooke: You had to know she wasn't coming today.
358
00:17:02,366 --> 00:17:04,426
Did you even invite her?
359
00:17:08,033 --> 00:17:10,273
Uh... (stammers)
360
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,573
I wrote her, and I told her about you.
361
00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:15,173
Because you stood in my driveway
362
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:18,403
looking longingly at the street.
363
00:17:23,266 --> 00:17:25,496
This is very disturbing to me.
364
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:28,166
That you would take it to this level.
365
00:17:28,233 --> 00:17:30,633
I told you I was gonna invite her.
366
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:34,170
I just got cold feet. I was embarrassed, you know?
367
00:17:34,233 --> 00:17:36,103
I didn't wanna talk about the exact shit
368
00:17:36,166 --> 00:17:39,426
we're talking about right now, but I love her.
369
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:42,600
-I'll always love her, that much is true. -You can't lead a person
370
00:17:42,666 --> 00:17:45,126
to believe that they're incapable of having a child
371
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,600
because you want to avoid difficult conversations,
372
00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:50,196
and then say that you love them.
373
00:17:50,266 --> 00:17:51,596
That's a cruel thing to do.
374
00:17:51,666 --> 00:17:54,066
Look, I just explained the whole thing.
375
00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:56,333
It was a little time. It was-- it was just...
376
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,500
one chapter, and then...
377
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,600
(sighs) Listen, I was wrong!
378
00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:04,726
I get that, in a big picture,
379
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:06,573
pearly gates look-at-your-life.
380
00:18:06,633 --> 00:18:08,533
It was a colossal error in judgment.
381
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,130
I was wrong on that level, but I was also wrong in thinking
382
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,600
that it could ever just go away.
383
00:18:13,666 --> 00:18:17,666
It was so hard dealing with that. And afterward, I mean...
384
00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:19,273
every month, it became
385
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:22,733
this little mini-tragedy when she'd get her period.
386
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,000
-It really took a toll. -Of course it did.
387
00:18:25,066 --> 00:18:27,026
-Yes, in hindsight. -Okay,
388
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,070
I think we now have something in the neighborhood
389
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:31,303
of an honest accounting of that piece of your life,
390
00:18:31,366 --> 00:18:34,226
at least in terms of what happened and when.
391
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:37,500
You lied, then revealed the truth to her
392
00:18:37,566 --> 00:18:39,526
when she asked for a divorce.
393
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,670
Is that accurate?
394
00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:44,103
Well, it leaves out a lot of nuance.
395
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,326
I'm not interested in your nuance right now.
396
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,070
Okay. Yes.
397
00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:54,233
Why tell me this whole love story?
398
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,330
I don't get what your play is here.
399
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,230
Did you want me to look at you as pitiful
400
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:03,170
because that plays better than deceitful and self-centered?
401
00:19:03,233 --> 00:19:07,133
You... you're putting all this, like, forethought into it.
402
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,200
Like I made some fuckin' flowchart of
403
00:19:09,266 --> 00:19:10,696
how to make who feel what.
404
00:19:10,766 --> 00:19:13,326
I told you things that were true.
405
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,666
Yes, I omitted salient details,
406
00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:18,273
perhaps to make myself look better.
407
00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:21,073
Oh, am I the first person on Earth to do that? No.
408
00:19:21,133 --> 00:19:23,073
It's how we live. We shape our experiences.
409
00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:26,403
-We-we-we build up a story. -That's not how I live.
410
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,496
I don't create elaborate charades
411
00:19:28,566 --> 00:19:30,226
just to get things out of people.
412
00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:32,700
-(scoffs) Oh, come on. -I don't.
413
00:19:32,766 --> 00:19:35,166
Really?
414
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,333
How's your back feelin', Brooke?
415
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,400
(soft laugh)
416
00:19:42,466 --> 00:19:44,166
Your characterization of your marriage,
417
00:19:44,233 --> 00:19:46,433
perfect until the FBI came into your life,
418
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,770
that wasn't quite right, was it?
419
00:19:49,033 --> 00:19:50,473
No. I told you,
420
00:19:50,533 --> 00:19:53,033
the pregnancy thing took a toll.
421
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:54,470
Or maybe it was just time at that point.
422
00:19:54,533 --> 00:19:57,703
You know, after five years, you start to grate on each other.
423
00:19:57,766 --> 00:19:59,296
Yeah, we had fights,
424
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,066
we certainly weren't fucking anymore because,
425
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,303
you know, that was a whole trigger
426
00:20:02,366 --> 00:20:04,466
of endless misery over not...
427
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,130
Oh, man.
428
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,600
Talk about a plan backfiring.
429
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,596
Brooke: Lies do that. They backfire.
430
00:20:10,666 --> 00:20:12,396
-They have consequences... -I think I know that.
431
00:20:12,466 --> 00:20:15,026
Do you? Because you went to jail
432
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:18,300
for doing exactly what you are doing in here.
433
00:20:18,366 --> 00:20:20,626
Your file says you told an investor that your
434
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:23,200
"whatever software thing," that it could do things
435
00:20:23,266 --> 00:20:25,766
that it couldn't, right?
436
00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:28,473
I guess, in a very broad, imprecise,
437
00:20:28,533 --> 00:20:30,573
-borderline wrong sense. -They put their money
438
00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:32,773
into it based on the lies that you told them.
439
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:38,033
You painted a rosy picture and got them on board.
440
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,670
-Yeah, sure. -You painted yourself as a visionary.
441
00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:42,173
You know (scoffs),
442
00:20:42,233 --> 00:20:45,073
it sounds like you really don't have an understanding
443
00:20:45,133 --> 00:20:47,603
-of the kind of business I was in. -Enlighten me.
444
00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:50,126
Colin: That's what you do.
445
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,600
You tell a story.
446
00:20:51,666 --> 00:20:54,126
You get people invested emotionally.
447
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,600
It's what I'm great at.
448
00:20:56,666 --> 00:20:59,296
By the way, it's what everyone does in the tech industry.
449
00:20:59,366 --> 00:21:02,766
-Nothing works until it does! -But things eventually do.
450
00:21:03,033 --> 00:21:05,673
They eventually do work. I have a phone that works.
451
00:21:05,733 --> 00:21:07,703
I have a computer that fucking works.
452
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:09,226
(laughs) Yeah, but before they did,
453
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:11,430
people took a chance. They saw the potential,
454
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:14,400
and then they put their money into it.
455
00:21:14,466 --> 00:21:16,126
I was one of those people.
456
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,070
I saw something that looked good,
457
00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:20,133
I invested, and by the time I was 30,
458
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,370
I had a quarter-billion dollars in my bank account.
459
00:21:22,433 --> 00:21:24,733
You mentioned that, hence the vasectomy.
460
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,330
That worked out. Sometimes, things don't work out.
461
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,670
Brooke: You are going to speak
462
00:21:28,733 --> 00:21:31,203
to young entrepreneurs about the dangers of your industry.
463
00:21:31,266 --> 00:21:33,596
What are you going to tell them?
464
00:21:33,666 --> 00:21:35,466
Gee, I don't know. Uh,
465
00:21:35,533 --> 00:21:38,333
spent four years in jail, lost everything,
466
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,630
got assaulted by a psychopath, and then became a social pariah.
467
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,070
You know, I think I have a few things I can tell them, Brooke.
468
00:21:44,133 --> 00:21:46,333
Brooke: But have you learned anything?
469
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,600
Really? Have you learned anything?
470
00:21:49,666 --> 00:21:51,996
Because it seems that, to you, the truth doesn't matter.
471
00:21:52,066 --> 00:21:54,526
The only thing that matters is how you are perceived.
472
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,130
Something doesn't work, tell them that it does.
473
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,600
Someone is critical of you, spin a tale of lost love.
474
00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:03,026
I told myself that I had reached a point in my career
475
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:06,070
that I did not have to treat narcissists.
476
00:22:06,133 --> 00:22:09,573
It is fruitless, and it is exhausting.
477
00:22:09,633 --> 00:22:11,273
I'm not a narcissist.
478
00:22:11,333 --> 00:22:13,303
Hannah, me, the investors.
479
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:16,496
We are not people to you. We are obstacles to overcome.
480
00:22:16,566 --> 00:22:19,466
Fool me and move on to whoever's next.
481
00:22:19,533 --> 00:22:22,303
I don't want to fool you. I want you to like me.
482
00:22:22,366 --> 00:22:24,326
-Even if it means lying to me? -Well,
483
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,530
-what other choice do I have? -Doing the exact opposite.
484
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,730
But the truth isn't pretty. You can see that now.
485
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,600
It isn't met with warmth, understanding, sympathy.
486
00:22:32,666 --> 00:22:34,426
It's met with scorn and judgment. Hell,
487
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,470
you're in a goddamn fit about it.
488
00:22:36,533 --> 00:22:37,433
But you know what?
489
00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:38,700
I envy you.
490
00:22:38,766 --> 00:22:40,566
That pedestal you look down on the world from.
491
00:22:40,633 --> 00:22:44,103
I've never been up there, but it looks super fucking cozy.
492
00:22:44,166 --> 00:22:46,166
It's telling that honesty seems like
493
00:22:46,233 --> 00:22:49,303
-an unattainable, lofty goal to you. -Oh, you act so superior,
494
00:22:49,366 --> 00:22:51,066
but it's easy for you to tell the truth.
495
00:22:51,133 --> 00:22:53,503
You're an impressive person. You know,
496
00:22:53,566 --> 00:22:56,026
you're virtuous and-and you're smart and you're talented.
497
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:58,230
The lie is all I have.
498
00:23:00,033 --> 00:23:01,473
There's nothing here.
499
00:23:03,433 --> 00:23:06,303
I'm not good at anything.
500
00:23:07,233 --> 00:23:09,233
I-I don't have any ideas.
501
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:12,500
The only thing-- The only thing I have is my ability
502
00:23:12,566 --> 00:23:15,626
to convince people of things, to make them see something
503
00:23:15,700 --> 00:23:18,670
that isn't there, and that is fucking magic!
504
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:25,070
I mean, I built a person out of nothing.
505
00:23:25,133 --> 00:23:28,103
A successful person. That's impressive. It's just--
506
00:23:28,166 --> 00:23:30,266
It's not valued. It's looked down upon.
507
00:23:30,333 --> 00:23:32,203
But, hey, that's nice, right? Gives everyone like you
508
00:23:32,266 --> 00:23:34,726
an opportunity to wag their finger and be like,
509
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,070
"Oh, no. That'd never be me."
510
00:23:37,133 --> 00:23:39,533
You want me to tell the truth and have nothing?
511
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,730
Well, no thanks.
512
00:23:43,466 --> 00:23:46,296
And you know, in all of this, what-what's...
513
00:23:46,366 --> 00:23:49,166
what's lost, what no one will ever say
514
00:23:49,233 --> 00:23:53,173
but is super fucking true? I did Hannah a favor!
515
00:23:53,233 --> 00:23:54,533
I mean, look at me! I can't be a father!
516
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,630
-I protected her! -You lied to her.
517
00:23:57,700 --> 00:24:00,370
-You made her feel ashamed. -Oh, you don't know what the fuck
518
00:24:00,433 --> 00:24:02,173
she felt.
519
00:24:02,233 --> 00:24:04,573
But I'll tell you this-- It wasn't shame.
520
00:24:04,633 --> 00:24:06,573
She thought, oh, who knows?
521
00:24:06,633 --> 00:24:09,373
Her wishing crystals weren't charged enough.
522
00:24:09,433 --> 00:24:11,103
You know, it-it was frustration that
523
00:24:11,166 --> 00:24:13,996
we hadn't found the correct lunar alignment.
524
00:24:14,066 --> 00:24:18,166
That someone had misread her uterine horoscope.
525
00:24:18,233 --> 00:24:20,503
You're defending this person like she's some treasure.
526
00:24:20,566 --> 00:24:22,426
You haven't even met her!
527
00:24:22,500 --> 00:24:25,200
And honestly, Brooke, like it or not, I know you a little bit.
528
00:24:25,266 --> 00:24:27,196
You would fucking hate her!
529
00:24:27,266 --> 00:24:29,366
I mean, she's got a lot of wonderful qualities.
530
00:24:29,433 --> 00:24:31,403
She is sincerely one of the smartest, most insightful
531
00:24:31,466 --> 00:24:33,366
people I've ever met. But in addition to that,
532
00:24:33,433 --> 00:24:36,433
she's a fuckin' idiot. She'd drive you up the goddamn wall.
533
00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:39,570
(sighs)
534
00:24:42,333 --> 00:24:44,303
I want you to like me.
535
00:24:44,366 --> 00:24:48,326
Not-not just because of the court thing, but because I like you.
536
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,130
You know, you're the-- you're the type of person
537
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,270
I'd like to impress. I tried to make that happen.
538
00:24:52,333 --> 00:24:54,433
I failed. I'm sorry.
539
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,530
And with my business, I...
540
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,600
I just tried to pull a rabbit out of my hat, you know?
541
00:25:00,666 --> 00:25:02,566
I tried to get enough money to keep working long enough
542
00:25:02,633 --> 00:25:05,173
to make the whole thing work. I got in over my head.
543
00:25:05,233 --> 00:25:08,473
I gambled, I lost. Again, I'm sorry. I say it so much,
544
00:25:08,533 --> 00:25:11,503
I should have it tattooed on my fuckin' forehead.
545
00:25:13,233 --> 00:25:14,473
So...
546
00:25:16,133 --> 00:25:18,233
what am I supposed to do?
547
00:25:19,633 --> 00:25:21,603
I'll tell you what I'll do.
548
00:25:21,666 --> 00:25:24,996
I'll fucking dust myself off and try again.
549
00:25:26,333 --> 00:25:29,533
Because if there's one thing I've mastered, it's failure.
550
00:25:30,733 --> 00:25:32,173
It doesn't faze me anymore.
551
00:25:32,233 --> 00:25:34,073
That's all the time I have.
552
00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:39,370
Huh.
553
00:25:41,033 --> 00:25:43,033
That's all the time we have.
554
00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:46,230
♪ ♪
555
00:25:50,566 --> 00:25:52,666
Goodbye, Colin.
556
00:25:55,500 --> 00:25:58,600
(birds chirping)
557
00:26:00,333 --> 00:26:01,403
(sighs)
558
00:26:06,366 --> 00:26:09,096
Well, it was nice knowing ya.
559
00:26:28,466 --> 00:26:30,426
-(door opens) -(Brooke sighs)
560
00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:33,296
(door shuts)
561
00:26:38,533 --> 00:26:40,173
(exhales)
562
00:26:47,733 --> 00:26:51,003
♪ ♪
563
00:27:17,433 --> 00:27:20,503
♪ ♪
564
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,530
♪ ♪
42753
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