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1
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,515
WE'VE NEVER MET.
IN FACT, I'M NOT EVEN SURE YOU EXIST.
2
00:00:26,517 --> 00:00:28,384
SO WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU?
MAYBE YOU'RE HOT.
3
00:00:28,386 --> 00:00:30,552
MAYBE I'M TRYING TO GROW
MY INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS.
4
00:00:30,554 --> 00:00:32,521
MAYBE I JUST NEED VALIDATION
THAT I'M A GOOD GUY,
5
00:00:32,523 --> 00:00:34,589
AND THAT MY SOULMATE
IS STILL OUT THERE.
6
00:00:34,591 --> 00:00:37,259
WHATEVER THE REASON, JUST HOLD
OFF ON YOUR JUDGMENT TILL THE END.
7
00:00:37,261 --> 00:00:38,460
WHO KNOWS?
MAYBE I'LL BLOW YOUR MIND.
8
00:00:38,462 --> 00:00:40,061
SO WHERE DO I START?
9
00:00:40,063 --> 00:00:42,363
UM, I WISH I COULD SAY
IT BEGAN WITH A SWIPE,
10
00:00:42,365 --> 00:00:44,232
BUT IF I'M BEING REAL,
IT BEGAN
11
00:00:44,234 --> 00:00:46,067
WHEN I SAW "EDWARD SCISSORHANDS"
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
12
00:00:46,069 --> 00:00:48,537
SOMETHING ABOUT WINONA RYDER
AND JOHNNY DEPP
13
00:00:48,539 --> 00:00:52,374
JUST ROLE-PLAYING TIM BURTON'S
WET DREAM REALLY SPOKE TO ME.
14
00:00:52,376 --> 00:00:54,210
I BEEN CHASING
THAT ROMANCE EVER SINCE.
15
00:00:54,212 --> 00:00:56,110
HONESTLY, IT'S EXHAUSTING.
SO WHY EVEN TRY?
16
00:00:56,112 --> 00:00:58,347
WELL, DESPITE THE FACT
THAT MY CYNICISM GROWS
17
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,915
LIKE TENSIONS WITH NORTH KOREA,
18
00:01:00,917 --> 00:01:03,118
HOPE... HOPE THAT MY PERSON
IS STILL OUT THERE.
19
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,120
DON'T LOSE HOPE JUST
BECAUSE YOU'RE ALMOST 30
20
00:01:05,122 --> 00:01:07,642
AND YOU HAVEN'T MET SOMEONE YOU
FEEL COMFORTABLE FARTING AROUND.
21
00:01:25,408 --> 00:01:29,313
♪ I DIDN'T MEAN TO TAKE IT,
OH... ♪
22
00:01:31,249 --> 00:01:33,414
PARDON ME, SIR.
23
00:01:33,416 --> 00:01:38,953
ARE YOU THE HANDSOME GENTLEMAN I
CAME UPON IN MY CELLULAR DEVICE?
24
00:01:38,955 --> 00:01:41,923
YOU ARE SO GOOD-LOOKING,
I JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU.
25
00:01:41,925 --> 00:01:43,926
I AIN'T NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE,
26
00:01:43,928 --> 00:01:47,061
SO COULD WE TAKE IT REAL SLOW...
27
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:51,900
OKAY... JUST BE A NORMAL HUMAN
FOR FIVE SECONDS.
28
00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:53,903
OKAY.
29
00:01:55,339 --> 00:01:58,641
HI. UM, THIS IS EMMA WARREN,
30
00:01:58,643 --> 00:02:01,242
AND IT IS FRIDAY, UH,
DECEMBER 3RD
31
00:02:01,244 --> 00:02:03,411
AT APPROXIMATELY 4:00 PM.
32
00:02:03,413 --> 00:02:06,581
IF I GET RAPED
AND SERIAL KILLED,
33
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:08,583
IT WAS PROBABLY
WILLIAM FROM TINDER,
34
00:02:08,585 --> 00:02:11,654
WHOSE LAST NAME IS...
I DON'T KNOW,
35
00:02:11,656 --> 00:02:14,656
UM, BUT YOU CAN FIND IT
IN MY PHONE UNDER...
36
00:02:14,658 --> 00:02:17,294
HE... HEY!
37
00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:22,064
HEY!
38
00:02:22,066 --> 00:02:23,332
ARE YOU WRITING ME A TICKET?
39
00:02:23,334 --> 00:02:24,533
YOUR METER'S EXPIRED.
40
00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:26,235
I WAS SITTING IN THE CAR.
41
00:02:26,237 --> 00:02:27,602
YEAH, I SEE YOU IN THERE
PUTTING ON MAKEUP,
42
00:02:27,604 --> 00:02:28,906
BUT THIS ISN'T A GREEN ROOM.
43
00:02:32,043 --> 00:02:34,343
ARE YOU SERIOUS, $68?
44
00:02:34,345 --> 00:02:35,678
- HAVE A GOOD DAY, MISS.
- NO.
45
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,379
THIS... THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
46
00:02:37,381 --> 00:02:39,180
- WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
- MY NAME'S ON THE TICKET.
47
00:02:39,182 --> 00:02:40,548
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
48
00:02:40,550 --> 00:02:42,150
YOU NEED TO FILL
YOUR LITTLE QUOTA OR WHATEVER,
49
00:02:42,152 --> 00:02:43,652
BUT THIS IS INSANE.
THIS IS SO BACKWARDS.
50
00:02:43,654 --> 00:02:45,487
IT'S ACTUALLY
VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD.
51
00:02:45,489 --> 00:02:48,190
GOD, WHY DOES EVERY METER MAID
HAVE TO BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE?
52
00:02:48,192 --> 00:02:50,124
YOU KNOW, I'D LEAVE
MY JOB OUT OF THIS,
53
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:53,295
AND YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S NOT
BEING VERY NICE RIGHT NOW.
54
00:02:53,297 --> 00:02:54,730
ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT THIS?
55
00:02:54,732 --> 00:02:56,598
HOW'S THAT FOR NICE?
56
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,232
BOOM. YEAH.
57
00:02:58,234 --> 00:02:59,635
THIS DOESN'T EVEN NEED MONEY,
MA'AM.
58
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,070
I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY.
59
00:03:01,072 --> 00:03:03,539
NOT NICE, HE SAYS.
I'M SO NICE.
60
00:03:03,541 --> 00:03:05,239
WELL, MAYBE IF YOU PUT SOME
MONEY IN YOUR METER
61
00:03:05,241 --> 00:03:06,575
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GOT A TICKET.
62
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:08,010
LISTEN, IT DOESN'T MATTER
IF YOU'RE IN THE CAR,
63
00:03:08,012 --> 00:03:09,577
ON THE CAR,
LISTENING TO THE CAR,
64
00:03:09,579 --> 00:03:10,612
PUTTING MAKEUP ON THE CAR,
65
00:03:10,614 --> 00:03:12,348
OR PUTTING MAKEUP ON YOU,
66
00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:13,715
YOU GOTTA PUT MONEY
IN THE METER.
67
00:03:13,717 --> 00:03:16,084
GET SOME HELP!
68
00:03:33,003 --> 00:03:34,670
- WILLIAM?
- EMMA?
69
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:36,204
- HI.
- HEY.
70
00:03:36,206 --> 00:03:39,107
SORRY, I WAS BUSY, UH,
FIGHTING THE MAN.
71
00:03:39,109 --> 00:03:43,011
SO, I THOUGHT THIS PLACE
WAS A CAFÉ.
72
00:03:43,013 --> 00:03:44,679
OH, YEAH, IT'S CAFÉ STYLE,
73
00:03:44,681 --> 00:03:46,280
SO YOU CAN ORDER FOOD
AT THE BAR.
74
00:03:46,282 --> 00:03:48,450
YOU KNOW,
THEY'LL SERVE IT TO YOU.
75
00:03:48,452 --> 00:03:50,052
HEY, COULD I GET ANOTHER ONE?
76
00:03:50,054 --> 00:03:54,089
SO, UH, WHAT DO YA...
WHAT DO YOU WANT HERE?
77
00:03:54,091 --> 00:03:56,424
LIKE FROM THIS DATE OR...?
78
00:03:56,426 --> 00:03:58,594
- OR...
- OH, FOOD.
79
00:03:58,596 --> 00:04:00,195
YEAH, OR DRINKS.
80
00:04:00,197 --> 00:04:03,098
OH, CAN I HAVE A FOOD MENU,
PLEASE?
81
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:05,036
THANK YOU.
82
00:04:07,170 --> 00:04:08,536
YOU LOOK GOOD.
83
00:04:08,538 --> 00:04:10,638
- THANK YOU.
- YEAH.
84
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,242
I WAS WORRIED 'CAUSE YOUR FACE IS
BLOCKED IN MOST OF YOUR PHOTOS.
85
00:04:13,244 --> 00:04:14,676
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
86
00:04:14,678 --> 00:04:16,744
THEY'RE ALL IN, LIKE,
SUPER DARK SETTINGS
87
00:04:16,746 --> 00:04:18,513
OR FROM REALLY FAR AWAY,
88
00:04:18,515 --> 00:04:21,816
SO IT'S KINDA TOUGH TO, LIKE,
MAKE OUT YOUR FACE.
89
00:04:21,818 --> 00:04:23,451
MM.
90
00:04:23,453 --> 00:04:24,752
WHY DID YOU SWIPE THEN?
91
00:04:24,754 --> 00:04:27,155
- 'CAUSE I SWIPE ON EVERYONE.
- OH.
92
00:04:27,157 --> 00:04:29,357
YEAH, JUST 'CAUSE YOU MATCH DOESN'T
MEAN YOU HAVE TO CONVERSATE.
93
00:04:29,359 --> 00:04:31,693
OKAY. THEN WHY ARE WE
CONVERSING?
94
00:04:33,364 --> 00:04:35,631
YOU SEEM FUN.
95
00:04:35,633 --> 00:04:37,165
YOU KNOW WHAT?
MY ROOMMATE WOULD LOVE YOU.
96
00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:38,499
- OH, YEAH?
- YEAH.
97
00:04:38,501 --> 00:04:41,804
I GET A VERY POLYAMOROUS VIBE
FROM YOU.
98
00:04:41,806 --> 00:04:44,239
LIKE A MORMON?
99
00:04:44,241 --> 00:04:45,674
WHAT'S THAT?
100
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:47,408
OH, IT'S BLUE CURACAO.
101
00:04:47,410 --> 00:04:48,610
ISN'T THAT A LIQUEUR?
102
00:04:48,612 --> 00:04:51,080
YEAH, I ONLY DRINK LIQUOR.
103
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:52,547
EXCUSE ME.
104
00:04:52,549 --> 00:04:55,684
CAN I HAVE A, UM,
THE ROASTED BRUSSELS SPROUTS,
105
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,352
AND THE SWEET POTATO FRIES.
106
00:04:57,354 --> 00:04:59,088
- ONLY NORMAL.
- WHAT?
107
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,122
- ONLY NORMAL FRY.
- OKAY.
108
00:05:01,124 --> 00:05:03,725
SASHA.
109
00:05:06,429 --> 00:05:11,266
SO, UM, WHAT WAS THE LAST THING
YOU WERE IN?
110
00:05:11,268 --> 00:05:12,600
YOU MEAN LIKE ON TINDER?
111
00:05:12,602 --> 00:05:16,105
NO, I MEAN LIKE A TV SHOW
OR SOMETHING.
112
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,372
I DELIVER WEED.
113
00:05:17,374 --> 00:05:19,307
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WERE AN ACTOR.
114
00:05:19,309 --> 00:05:21,110
OH! SOMETIMES.
115
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:23,145
- MOSTLY I DELIVER WEED.
- OH.
116
00:05:23,147 --> 00:05:25,480
BUSINESS MUST BE BOOMING.
117
00:05:25,482 --> 00:05:28,386
WHAT? IT TAKES LONGER
TO MICROWAVE LEFTOVERS.
118
00:05:32,155 --> 00:05:35,590
WHAT IS, UH, THE MOST ADVENTUROUS
THING YOU'VE EVER DONE?
119
00:05:35,592 --> 00:05:37,359
- WHAT?
- TELL ME, LIKE,
120
00:05:37,361 --> 00:05:39,561
WHAT THE MOST ADVENTUROUS THING
IS YOU'VE EVER DONE.
121
00:05:39,563 --> 00:05:43,564
OH, GOD, UH, MY FRIENDS INVITED
ME SKYDIVING ONCE,
122
00:05:43,566 --> 00:05:45,400
BUT I CHICKENED OUT.
123
00:05:45,402 --> 00:05:47,369
- WHAT ABOUT YOU?
- WHAT?
124
00:05:47,371 --> 00:05:48,603
DEB. HEY, HEY.
125
00:05:48,605 --> 00:05:50,405
UM, OH!
126
00:05:50,407 --> 00:05:52,407
- YEAH, LET'S HUG.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
127
00:05:52,409 --> 00:05:54,408
- YOU SMELL DELIGHTFUL.
- OH!
128
00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:56,410
- THANK YOU.
- UH, YEAH, CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?
129
00:05:56,412 --> 00:05:58,446
YOU SEEM LIKE AN APEROL SPRITZ
KINDA GAL.
130
00:05:58,448 --> 00:05:59,614
- OH, YEAH?
- YEAH.
131
00:05:59,616 --> 00:06:01,449
OKAY. HOW REFRESHING.
132
00:06:01,451 --> 00:06:04,585
IT AMAZES ME HOW FEW PEOPLE
WILL EVEN ENTERTAIN THE IDEA.
133
00:06:04,587 --> 00:06:07,355
I MEAN, WHEN AN OPEN
RELATIONSHIP FALLS APART,
134
00:06:07,357 --> 00:06:10,191
- EVERYONE'S QUICK TO BLAME THE OPEN RELATIONSHIP.
- RIGHT, RIGHT.
135
00:06:10,193 --> 00:06:12,194
BUT WHEN A COMPLETELY MONOGAMOUS
RELATIONSHIP FALLS APART,
136
00:06:12,196 --> 00:06:13,694
NOBODY EVEN THINKS
TO BLAME THE MONOGAMY.
137
00:06:13,696 --> 00:06:15,230
YEAH, THAT'S
A REALLY GOOD POINT.
138
00:06:15,232 --> 00:06:16,465
IF A RELATIONSHIP'S GONNA
FALL APART
139
00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:17,566
IT'S BECAUSE
OF THE PEOPLE IN IT,
140
00:06:17,568 --> 00:06:19,167
NOT THE CLASSIFICATION.
141
00:06:19,169 --> 00:06:21,403
BUT JUST TO BE CLEAR,
YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
142
00:06:21,405 --> 00:06:23,739
YEAH. HE'S A SMALL DOG TRAINER.
143
00:06:23,741 --> 00:06:26,475
YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SMALL
OR HE TRAINS SMALL DOGS?
144
00:06:26,477 --> 00:06:27,675
BOTH.
145
00:06:27,677 --> 00:06:29,845
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
146
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:33,182
UH, YOU KNOW, I'M JUST LOOKING
TO CONNECT WITH SOMEBODY.
147
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,650
THE APPS ARE GREAT FOR THAT,
148
00:06:34,652 --> 00:06:36,417
BUT UNLESS YOUR EQUATION
ADDS UP PERFECTLY...
149
00:06:36,419 --> 00:06:38,287
YOUR JOB PLUS YOUR HEIGHT
DIVIDED BY DISTANCE...
150
00:06:38,289 --> 00:06:40,222
THEN IT'S JUST AN INSTANT SWIPE
TO THE NEXT.
151
00:06:40,224 --> 00:06:42,256
- YOU THINK THAT'S HOW GIRLS USE TINDER?
- WHAT?
152
00:06:42,258 --> 00:06:43,824
THAT MOSTLY ONLY GIRLS CARE
ABOUT HEIGHT?
153
00:06:43,826 --> 00:06:46,261
I MEAN, YEAH, I GUESS.
154
00:06:46,263 --> 00:06:47,795
WHAT'S YOUR PERFECT
EQUATION THEN?
155
00:06:47,797 --> 00:06:50,198
I JUST KNOW THAT I WANNA MEET
SOMEBODY THAT I LIKE.
156
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,799
YOU KNOW? EVER SINCE
I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL
157
00:06:51,801 --> 00:06:53,401
I'VE JUST WANTED TO BE
IN A RELATIONSHIP,
158
00:06:53,403 --> 00:06:56,405
BUT, UH, THE TYPE OF PERSON
I'M LOOKING FOR?
159
00:06:56,407 --> 00:06:58,773
- HOPEFULLY I'M JUST TAKEN BY SURPRISE.
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
160
00:06:58,775 --> 00:07:00,475
WELL, IT'S LIKE RUINING
THE END OF A MOVIE.
161
00:07:00,477 --> 00:07:01,977
YOU KNOW?
162
00:07:01,979 --> 00:07:03,645
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW
WHAT TYPE OF PERSON YOU WANT,
163
00:07:03,647 --> 00:07:05,446
THEN IT'S NOT MUCH OF A SURPRISE
WHEN YOU GET IT.
164
00:07:05,448 --> 00:07:07,415
- GET WHAT?
- WHAT DO YOU THINK I WANT?
165
00:07:07,417 --> 00:07:09,251
A HAPPY ENDING.
166
00:07:09,253 --> 00:07:10,485
NOT... NOT LIKE A...
167
00:07:10,487 --> 00:07:13,254
HAPPY ENDING, BUT...
168
00:07:13,256 --> 00:07:15,290
HAPPY ENDING LIKE IN...
IN A MOVIE.
169
00:07:15,292 --> 00:07:17,359
JUST DON'T SAY "GET IT."
YOU SOUND POSSESSIVE.
170
00:07:17,361 --> 00:07:19,927
SO, IS THIS WHERE YOU
TAKE ALL YOUR TINDER DATES?
171
00:07:19,929 --> 00:07:22,631
NO, SOMETIMES WE SIT OVER THERE.
172
00:07:22,633 --> 00:07:24,799
WELL, I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE.
173
00:07:24,801 --> 00:07:26,934
OH, WE CAN GO TO THE BAR
DOWN THE ROAD.
174
00:07:26,936 --> 00:07:28,569
IT'S FRENCH THEMED.
175
00:07:28,571 --> 00:07:30,439
- ARE YOU DRIVING?
- YEAH, SURE.
176
00:07:30,441 --> 00:07:32,273
I... I VALETED,
I CAN... YEAH.
177
00:07:32,275 --> 00:07:34,009
- CAN I SEE YOUR ID?
- WHAT?
178
00:07:34,011 --> 00:07:36,410
I'M GETTING INTO A STRANGER'S CAR,
I NEED TO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR ID,
179
00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:38,013
AND TEXT IT TO A FRIEND
JUST IN CASE.
180
00:07:38,015 --> 00:07:40,919
IN CASE I KILL YOU?
181
00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:55,530
- HEY.
- I HAD THE WAITRESS GET ANOTHER ROUND.
182
00:07:55,532 --> 00:07:57,799
- OH, NICE.
- MM-HMM.
183
00:07:57,801 --> 00:07:59,701
- IT'S A REALLY COOL PLACE.
- YEAH.
184
00:07:59,703 --> 00:08:01,302
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
185
00:08:01,304 --> 00:08:04,306
THESE, UM, THESE WALLS ARE
ACTUALLY IMPORTED
186
00:08:04,308 --> 00:08:06,775
FROM THE FRENCH QUARTER.
187
00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:08,643
- OH. YEAH.
- NEW ORLEANS. IT'S IN NEW ORLEANS.
188
00:08:08,645 --> 00:08:10,879
I DIG IT.
IT'S LIKE WE'RE OUTSIDE,
189
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:12,413
BUT WE'RE ACTUALLY INSIDE.
190
00:08:12,415 --> 00:08:14,415
I HAVE A SUITE AT THE CHATEAU
RIGHT NOW.
191
00:08:14,417 --> 00:08:16,518
SMOOTH TRANSITION.
192
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,388
WELL, ACTUALLY IT'S A DOWNGRADE.
193
00:08:19,390 --> 00:08:22,323
I, UH, I WAS AT THE MONDRIAN
LAST NIGHT, BUT...
194
00:08:22,325 --> 00:08:23,792
YEAH. SO WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO?
195
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:26,328
YOU INVEST?
196
00:08:26,330 --> 00:08:28,330
NO. NO.
197
00:08:28,332 --> 00:08:30,831
I, UM, I BUY AND SELL WALLS,
ACTUALLY.
198
00:08:30,833 --> 00:08:32,434
- WALLS?
- YEAH.
199
00:08:32,436 --> 00:08:33,635
- LIKE, LIKE THESE?
- YEAH.
200
00:08:33,637 --> 00:08:35,636
PAR EXEMPLE.
201
00:08:35,638 --> 00:08:37,805
THESE WALLS ACTUALLY CAME
FROM, UH,
202
00:08:37,807 --> 00:08:40,342
A BUILDING IN BOURBON STREET.
203
00:08:40,344 --> 00:08:43,645
AND THANK GOD FOR KATRINA,
'CAUSE I GOT A STELLAR DEAL.
204
00:08:43,647 --> 00:08:45,646
- THEY WERE GONNA TEAR THAT PUPPY DOWN.
- WHOA.
205
00:08:45,648 --> 00:08:48,416
YEAH. SO, THEY'RE... THEY CAME IN
NICE AND WEATHERED.
206
00:08:48,418 --> 00:08:50,051
- WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF WORK.
- YEAH, OH, YEAH.
207
00:08:50,053 --> 00:08:51,687
THAT'S JUST NEVER-ENDING.
208
00:08:51,689 --> 00:08:54,856
I MEAN, THESE PLACES ARE SO HOT
FOR LIKE A MINNIE,
209
00:08:54,858 --> 00:08:57,726
AND THEN THAT'S IT, YOU KNOW.
IT'S OLD NEWS.
210
00:08:57,728 --> 00:09:00,429
I MEAN, THIS PLACE MAYBE
HAS A MONTH LEFT IN HER.
211
00:09:00,431 --> 00:09:02,463
REALLY? I THOUGHT THIS PLACE
LIKE JUST OPENED.
212
00:09:02,465 --> 00:09:03,998
YEAH, I ACTUALLY HAVE MY...
213
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,602
MY HEART SET ON THIS WALL
IN BEIJING, CHINA.
214
00:09:07,604 --> 00:09:08,969
- MM.
- YEAH.
215
00:09:08,971 --> 00:09:14,108
YOU, UM...
216
00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:15,977
PHOTOGRAPHY.
217
00:09:15,979 --> 00:09:17,779
- YES.
- YOU'RE TRYING TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHER.
218
00:09:17,781 --> 00:09:19,414
- YEAH. YEAH.
- YEAH.
219
00:09:19,416 --> 00:09:21,349
GO AHEAD. NO, YEAH, GO AHEAD.
220
00:09:21,351 --> 00:09:24,118
I'VE ONLY HAD LIKE ONE LEGIT
PHOTOGRAPHY GIG MY WHOLE LIFE,
221
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,521
AND IT ENDED WITH SALMA HAYEK
THROWING A SHOE AT ME.
222
00:09:26,523 --> 00:09:30,992
SO, MY EX KNOWS SALMA.
223
00:09:30,994 --> 00:09:33,761
THEY KNOW EACH OTHER.
YEAH, TALK ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME.
224
00:09:33,763 --> 00:09:35,764
SHE SAYS, "SELMA HAYEK..."
225
00:09:35,766 --> 00:09:37,565
- YEAH? THAT'S COOL.
- YEAH.
226
00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:38,766
- YEAH. YEAH.
- FOR HER.
227
00:09:38,768 --> 00:09:40,468
UM, SHE'S GREAT.
228
00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:44,473
I JUST MEAN, UM... I WAS SAYING
THAT I SHOW UP TO THIS...
229
00:09:44,475 --> 00:09:46,907
THIS BEHIND-THE-SCENES SHOOT
AND THE HOST HANDS ME HIS PHONE
230
00:09:46,909 --> 00:09:49,678
TO GET SOME INSTAGRAM PICTURES...
WHICH, I MEAN, I GET IT.
231
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:51,979
IT'S LIKE FRIDA IN THE FLESH,
YOU KNOW.
232
00:09:51,981 --> 00:09:56,684
UM, BUT ANYWAY, SALMA'S TALKING
ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE,
233
00:09:56,686 --> 00:09:58,786
AND I KID YOU NOT,
HIS PHONE GOES OFF
234
00:09:58,788 --> 00:10:01,122
WITH NIRVANA'S "RAPE ME"
AS THE RINGTONE.
235
00:10:01,124 --> 00:10:03,157
IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING.
236
00:10:03,159 --> 00:10:07,929
I WANTED TO CRAWL
INTO A CORNER AND DIE.
237
00:10:07,931 --> 00:10:09,731
- THANK YOU.
- THANK YOU.
238
00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:11,098
THANKS.
239
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,470
I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU
TO GET TO KNOW ME.
240
00:10:15,071 --> 00:10:17,139
I MEAN, I THOUGHT I WAS DOING
THE NICE THING,
241
00:10:17,141 --> 00:10:19,841
BUT TO HER I WAS LIKE THE MOST
DISRESPECTFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD.
242
00:10:19,843 --> 00:10:21,843
NICE BUILDING, BY THE WAY.
NICE FOUNTAIN.
243
00:10:21,845 --> 00:10:23,844
I HAD FUN TONIGHT.
244
00:10:23,846 --> 00:10:25,847
YEAH? I... I DID, TOO.
245
00:10:25,849 --> 00:10:28,416
YEAH. MAYBE NEXT TIME
WE CAN DO SOMETHING
246
00:10:28,418 --> 00:10:30,419
THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE ALCOHOL.
247
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:32,123
- SOUNDS FANTASTIC.
- YEAH.
248
00:10:33,990 --> 00:10:36,024
GOOD NIGHT, LAUREN.
249
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:37,929
ADAM.
250
00:10:45,835 --> 00:10:48,670
ON THE SURFACE IT LOOKS LIKE JUST
A BUNCH OF PEOPLE SLEEPING AROUND,
251
00:10:48,672 --> 00:10:50,539
BUT OUR LOVE IS JUST
AS LEGITIMATE
252
00:10:50,541 --> 00:10:51,973
AS A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP.
253
00:10:51,975 --> 00:10:54,074
IF ANYTHING, WE JUST HAVE
TO COMMUNICATE MORE.
254
00:10:54,076 --> 00:10:56,077
OH, DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE A FAN OF POLYAMORY
255
00:10:56,079 --> 00:10:58,646
BECAUSE IT IMPROVES
COMMUNICATION SKILLS.
256
00:10:58,648 --> 00:11:01,449
NO, IT'S JUST ONE OF THE MANY
CHERRIES ON TOP OF A FLAVOR
257
00:11:01,451 --> 00:11:02,983
I SUGGEST EVERYONE TRY.
258
00:11:02,985 --> 00:11:04,886
BUT YOU'RE NOT SUGGESTING
JUST ONE FLAVOR.
259
00:11:04,888 --> 00:11:07,689
YOU'RE LOOKING TO DIP YOUR SPOON
INTO A BUNCH OF LITTLE CARTONS
260
00:11:07,691 --> 00:11:09,958
- AND HAVE A TASTE.
- THAT DOES SOUND DELICIOUS.
261
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,525
WELL, DOESN'T MEAN
YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN KNOW
262
00:11:11,527 --> 00:11:15,130
WHAT GOES INTO MAKING ICE CREAM.
263
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,765
AS ABE ROSEN SAID,
264
00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:19,166
YOU'RE JUST A FAN OF THE TERM
"POLYAMORY,"
265
00:11:19,168 --> 00:11:21,602
BECAUSE IT'S LESS JUDGMENTAL
THAN "SLUT."
266
00:11:21,604 --> 00:11:23,838
- WHO THE HELL IS ABE ROSEN?
- I TAKE IT YOU DON'T READ YOUR COMMENTS.
267
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,507
OH, AN INTERNET TROLL?
268
00:11:26,509 --> 00:11:29,777
LOOK, YOU CAN JUDGE ME ALL
YOU WANT FOR USING TINDER
269
00:11:29,779 --> 00:11:31,545
OR BUMBLE OR ANY OF THE APPS
270
00:11:31,547 --> 00:11:33,548
THAT ACTUALLY MAKE DATING FUN
FOR A CHANGE.
271
00:11:33,550 --> 00:11:35,617
BUT IT'S 2018, BABY!
272
00:11:35,619 --> 00:11:38,553
I'M NOT ASHAMED OF CALLING
MYSELF AN EMPOWERED SLUT.
273
00:11:38,555 --> 00:11:40,889
WHAT'S EMPOWERING ABOUT NOT BEING
ABLE TO COMMIT TO ONE PERSON?
274
00:11:40,891 --> 00:11:43,958
SURE, MONOGAMY MIGHT BE
CHALLENGING AT TIMES,
275
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,926
BUT IT'S ALSO MORE REWARDING.
276
00:11:45,928 --> 00:11:47,929
SORRY. WORK.
277
00:11:47,931 --> 00:11:50,265
AH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
IT'S MY MONO MATE, EMMA.
278
00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:53,168
COMING HOME
FROM ANOTHER TINDER ADVENTURE.
279
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,069
EMMA, TELL US,
HOW DID IT GO?
280
00:11:57,106 --> 00:11:58,740
FOR THOSE OF YOU AT HOME
WHO CANNOT SEE,
281
00:11:58,742 --> 00:12:01,575
SHE JUST MIMED BLOWING
HER BRAINS OUT.
282
00:12:01,577 --> 00:12:04,679
EMMA, DOES THAT MEAN
IT WAS EXPLOSIVE?
283
00:12:04,681 --> 00:12:06,647
- NO.
- MM, NOW SHE'S ROLLING HER EYES AT ME AS IF TO SAY,
284
00:12:06,649 --> 00:12:09,851
"CHARLOTTE, I, TOO, DISAPPROVE
OF YOUR LIFESTYLE.
285
00:12:09,853 --> 00:12:12,286
MM, MORE LIKE THAT'S THE LAST TIME
I GET A ROOMMATE ON CRAIGSLIST.
286
00:12:12,288 --> 00:12:15,022
- LOVE YOU, GIRL.
- LOVE YOU.
287
00:12:15,024 --> 00:12:17,758
- SERIOUSLY, HOW'D IT GO?
- NO, I DON'T WANNA INTERRUPT. I HAVE TO LEAVE AGAIN ANYWAY.
288
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,794
NO, NO, NO, NO, STAY.
YOU TWO WOULD HAVE A BLAST.
289
00:12:19,796 --> 00:12:22,097
IT'D BE LIKE
THE MAVENS OF MONOGAMY
290
00:12:22,099 --> 00:12:23,832
VERSUS THE POLY
HOUSE OF PLEASURE.
291
00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:25,132
NO, SOMEONE'S COMPLAINING
ABOUT A LEAK.
292
00:12:25,134 --> 00:12:27,168
- CALL A PLUMBER?
- YOU WANNA PAY FOR IT?
293
00:12:27,170 --> 00:12:29,073
GOOD LUCK.
294
00:12:30,606 --> 00:12:32,607
WELL, DAMN.
295
00:12:32,609 --> 00:12:35,010
NOW I'M IN THE MOOD
FOR ICE CREAM.
296
00:12:39,282 --> 00:12:41,248
- HELLO?
- LAUREN.
297
00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:43,083
ARE YOU CALLING ME?
298
00:12:43,085 --> 00:12:44,586
SHOULD I NOT HAVE CALLED?
299
00:12:44,588 --> 00:12:46,588
IT'S JUST WEIRD.
300
00:12:46,590 --> 00:12:48,589
IT'S WEIRD THAT YOU THINK
IT'S WEIRD.
301
00:12:48,591 --> 00:12:50,257
LOOK,
I'M SORRY IF I WAS MISLEADING.
302
00:12:50,259 --> 00:12:52,761
I'M JUST NOT LOOKING
FOR ANYTHING SERIOUS.
303
00:12:52,763 --> 00:12:54,795
WHY'D YOU KISS ME THEN?
304
00:12:54,797 --> 00:12:58,632
I...
IT SEEMED LIKE IT WOULD BE FUN.
305
00:12:58,634 --> 00:13:00,702
SO YOU DON'T WANNA SEE
EACH OTHER AGAIN?
306
00:13:00,704 --> 00:13:02,703
NOT RIGHT NOW.
307
00:13:02,705 --> 00:13:04,705
CAN I ASK WHY?
308
00:13:04,707 --> 00:13:06,708
I'M JUST NOT
LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP.
309
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,709
NOT WITH ME, YOU MEAN.
310
00:13:08,711 --> 00:13:10,712
YOU'RE LIKE A COLLEGE KID.
311
00:13:10,714 --> 00:13:12,713
I MEAN, WHO WEARS A T-SHIRT
ON A FIRST DATE?
312
00:13:12,715 --> 00:13:15,717
IT'S KINDA HARD
TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY.
313
00:13:15,719 --> 00:13:18,053
O-KAY.
314
00:13:18,055 --> 00:13:19,957
GOOD LUCK.
315
00:13:26,629 --> 00:13:28,329
LEISURE VALLEY.
316
00:13:28,331 --> 00:13:29,764
YOU SOUND LIKE
YOU WERE JUST FIRED.
317
00:13:29,766 --> 00:13:31,098
I WISH. NOBODY'S HERE.
318
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,833
I WANNA GO HOME.
319
00:13:32,835 --> 00:13:34,336
CHRISTMAS ISN'T A VERY POPULAR
TIME TO GET SICK.
320
00:13:34,338 --> 00:13:36,637
CHRISTMAS IS THE MOST
POPULAR TIME TO GET SICK.
321
00:13:36,639 --> 00:13:38,372
MAYBE GET SICK OF YOUR FAMILY,
NOT CONTRACT A VIRUS.
322
00:13:38,374 --> 00:13:40,208
HA.
323
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:41,943
WELL, WHEN YOU'RE DONE
YOU WANNA GO OUT SOMEWHERE?
324
00:13:41,945 --> 00:13:43,844
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M PROBABLY JUST GONNA GO HOME.
325
00:13:43,846 --> 00:13:45,780
I... I HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO CALL.
326
00:13:45,782 --> 00:13:47,681
I'VE BEEN UP SINCE 5:30
327
00:13:47,683 --> 00:13:50,117
AND I'M SUPER TIRED AND, YES,
I KNOW I'M BEING LAME.
328
00:13:50,119 --> 00:13:53,154
YOU STILL SEEING
THAT BUMBLE GUY, BEN FRANKLIN?
329
00:13:53,156 --> 00:13:54,389
WE BROKE UP.
330
00:13:54,391 --> 00:13:56,657
IS IT BECAUSE HIS NAME
IS BEN FRANKLIN?
331
00:13:56,659 --> 00:13:57,958
BECAUSE HE'S SUPER SENSITIVE
332
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,694
AND I'M A CRAZY PERSON.
333
00:13:59,696 --> 00:14:01,762
DID HE HAVE FOUNDING
FATHER ISSUES?
334
00:14:01,764 --> 00:14:03,798
HILARIOUS.
335
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,834
WELL, THAT SUCKS.
I'M... I'M SORRY.
336
00:14:06,836 --> 00:14:09,003
IT'S ALL RIGHT. I PROBABLY NEED
A BREAK FROM DATING ANYWAY.
337
00:14:09,005 --> 00:14:10,738
ISN'T YOUR BIRTHDAY COMING UP?
338
00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:11,939
THE 23RD.
339
00:14:11,941 --> 00:14:13,107
AS IN LIKE TWO WEEKS?
340
00:14:13,109 --> 00:14:14,342
MM-HMM.
341
00:14:14,344 --> 00:14:16,745
I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD DO
SOMETHING BIG.
342
00:14:16,747 --> 00:14:19,680
STEF, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
LET'S DEFINITELY DO SOMETHING BIG.
343
00:14:19,682 --> 00:14:21,882
ACTUALLY, DON'T DO ANYTHING.
I'LL ORGANIZE A RAGER.
344
00:14:21,884 --> 00:14:23,385
HOW... HOW OLD ARE YOU TURNING?
345
00:14:23,387 --> 00:14:24,785
MM.
346
00:14:24,787 --> 00:14:26,154
- 30?
- YEAH.
347
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,022
OKAY.
348
00:14:28,024 --> 00:14:30,424
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA FIND
A MASSIVE HOUSE IN THE HILLS,
349
00:14:30,426 --> 00:14:33,093
AND... AND WE WILL INVITE
ALL OF THE PEOPLE.
350
00:14:33,095 --> 00:14:34,795
OKAY.
351
00:14:34,797 --> 00:14:35,997
I'LL EVEN
INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FRIEND
352
00:14:35,999 --> 00:14:38,132
FDR. HE'S AN ABSOLUTE DIME.
353
00:14:38,134 --> 00:14:40,200
FAYE!
I GOTTA GO.
354
00:14:40,202 --> 00:14:42,105
ALL RIGHT. BYE, STEF.
355
00:14:49,178 --> 00:14:50,944
YO.
356
00:14:50,946 --> 00:14:53,714
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.
357
00:14:53,716 --> 00:14:56,117
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- I'M HONESTLY AMAZED THAT YOU ANSWERED.
358
00:14:56,119 --> 00:14:58,319
YEAH, YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON THAT
I KNOW THAT STILL CALLS ANYMORE.
359
00:14:58,321 --> 00:14:59,987
WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
360
00:14:59,989 --> 00:15:01,823
I'M ON BREAK.
GOTTA WORK ALL NIGHT, THOUGH.
361
00:15:01,825 --> 00:15:03,157
YOU'RE HOOKING UP WITH SOMEONE.
362
00:15:03,159 --> 00:15:04,892
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK
I'M HOOKING UP WITH SOMEONE?
363
00:15:04,894 --> 00:15:06,694
I'D DO THE SAME
IF IT WERE THAT EASY.
364
00:15:06,696 --> 00:15:08,896
- TOUCHÉ.
- YOU GOING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS?
365
00:15:08,898 --> 00:15:10,765
NAH, I GOTTA WORK.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
366
00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:12,967
I'M A JEW. I HEAR CHRISTMAS
AND I THINK CHICKEN LO MEIN.
367
00:15:14,071 --> 00:15:15,770
OOH.
368
00:15:15,772 --> 00:15:17,072
- THANK YOU.
- OF COURSE.
369
00:15:17,074 --> 00:15:18,707
HEY, YOU KNOW, MAN,
I GOTTA GET GOING.
370
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,208
THE WORLD NEEDS
MORE MEN LIKE YOU.
371
00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:23,377
AND TINDER NEEDS MORE WOMEN
LIKE YOU.
372
00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:25,380
- WHAT?
- SORRY, I WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE.
373
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:27,381
OKAY. I'LL CALL YOU BACK
LATER, YEAH?
374
00:15:27,383 --> 00:15:28,482
AH, LATER.
375
00:15:28,484 --> 00:15:30,388
OKAY.
376
00:16:02,952 --> 00:16:05,953
- HEY.
- HEY.
377
00:16:05,955 --> 00:16:08,289
SO, UH, WHAT'S UP?
378
00:16:08,291 --> 00:16:09,958
I THOUGHT WE WERE MEETING
AT YOUR PLACE.
379
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,293
NO. I TOLD YOU I CAN'T HOST.
I GOT A ROOMMATE
380
00:16:12,295 --> 00:16:15,295
WELL, I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED
IN HOOKING UP IN YOUR CAR, DUDE.
381
00:16:15,297 --> 00:16:16,497
YOU GOT A ROOM?
382
00:16:16,499 --> 00:16:17,531
YEAH, I TOLD YOU.
383
00:16:17,533 --> 00:16:19,434
YOU GOT ROOMMATES THOUGH, RIGHT?
384
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:22,270
I'VE GOT ONE ROOMMATE WHO'S COME
OUT ONCE IN THE LAST YEAR.
385
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,938
OUT OF HIS ROOM.
386
00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:26,540
YEAH, LISTEN,
I DON'T DO THIS KINDA SHIT.
387
00:16:26,542 --> 00:16:28,142
I GOT A GIRLFRIEND AT HOME,
388
00:16:28,144 --> 00:16:29,877
SO EITHER WE JUST DO IT
IN THE CAR
389
00:16:29,879 --> 00:16:32,213
- OR WE CAN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.
- YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND?
390
00:16:32,215 --> 00:16:34,015
DOES SHE KNOW YOU'RE BI?
391
00:16:34,017 --> 00:16:36,117
I'M NOT BI.
I'M STRAIGHT.
392
00:16:36,119 --> 00:16:38,886
RIGHT. WELL, YOU'RE MEETING UP
WITH A GUY FROM GRINDR,
393
00:16:38,888 --> 00:16:40,088
SO YOU'RE NOT STRAIGHT.
394
00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:42,022
I'M NOT GAY.
395
00:16:42,024 --> 00:16:44,058
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GETTING
AT, I LIKE GIRLS.
396
00:16:44,060 --> 00:16:46,327
WITH GUYS, YOU KNOW,
IT'S JUST PHYSICAL.
397
00:16:46,329 --> 00:16:48,362
CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT,
398
00:16:48,364 --> 00:16:50,430
I JUST WISH YOU WOULD'VE
TOLD ME BEFORE I...
399
00:16:50,432 --> 00:16:52,099
YEAH, I DROVE UP
FROM PASADENA FOR THIS,
400
00:16:52,101 --> 00:16:54,102
SO WHO GIVES A SHIT
WHERE WE DO IT?
401
00:16:54,104 --> 00:16:55,870
I'M NOT HERE TO JUST DO IT,
OKAY?
402
00:16:55,872 --> 00:16:57,405
ESPECIALLY NOT IN THE BACK
OF YOUR VAN.
403
00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,006
WE'RE IN THE FRONT
OF A FORD EXPLORER.
404
00:16:59,008 --> 00:17:00,208
COOL. SORRY.
405
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:03,144
THIS ISN'T A DATE, BRO.
406
00:17:03,146 --> 00:17:05,146
I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS A DATE.
407
00:17:05,148 --> 00:17:07,848
OKAY? YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M JUST GONNA...
408
00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:09,884
- CAN YOU LET ME OUT, PLEASE?
- THEN WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?
409
00:17:09,886 --> 00:17:12,052
I DON'T KNOW, JUST NOT THIS.
CAN YOU LET ME OUT?
410
00:17:12,054 --> 00:17:14,822
- FOR REAL?
- YEAH.
411
00:17:14,824 --> 00:17:17,291
I THINK YOU AND I ARE LOOKING
FOR DIFFERENT THINGS, OKAY?
412
00:17:17,293 --> 00:17:19,196
YEAH. WHATEVER.
413
00:17:20,964 --> 00:17:22,867
ASSHOLE!
414
00:17:27,270 --> 00:17:28,869
DICK.
415
00:17:38,113 --> 00:17:43,117
♪ WAIT FOR THE CHANCES
OF LOVE ♪
416
00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:47,621
♪ SPEND EVERY FRIDAY AT HOME ♪
417
00:17:47,623 --> 00:17:51,526
♪ WATCH DAYS GO BY,
BURNING DESIRES ♪
418
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:57,365
♪ IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT,
YOU GIVE AND THEY WON'T ♪
419
00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:02,369
♪ WAIT FOR THE CHANCES,
TAKE A YEAR OFF ♪
420
00:18:02,371 --> 00:18:04,338
♪ GIVE THEM MORE ANSWERS
BUT FROM ABOVE ♪
421
00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:05,906
OKAY, YEAH.
422
00:18:05,908 --> 00:18:07,407
YOU TOOK A BATH, YEAH?
423
00:18:10,981 --> 00:18:13,882
UM... BATH?
424
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,383
ACTUALLY THERE'S A CRACK
IN THE TUB,
425
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:17,318
SO IF YOU DON'T MIND
TAKING A SHOWER?
426
00:18:19,222 --> 00:18:22,624
UH, UH, YES, BATH BROKE.
427
00:18:22,626 --> 00:18:24,325
I KNOW. YEAH.
428
00:18:24,327 --> 00:18:26,094
I'M SAYING IF YOU DON'T MIND
TAKING A SHOWER,
429
00:18:26,096 --> 00:18:27,395
IT'LL CAUSE...
430
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:29,430
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT I'M SAYING, DO YOU?
431
00:18:29,432 --> 00:18:31,165
RIGHT NOW.
I COULD JUST SAY ANYTHING.
432
00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:32,966
NO, SHOWER.
UH, BATH.
433
00:18:32,968 --> 00:18:34,434
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
434
00:18:34,436 --> 00:18:35,569
- THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
- YEAH.
435
00:18:35,571 --> 00:18:36,637
WE TAKE BATH?
436
00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:36,964
NEIGHBOR!
COME, JOIN US.
437
00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:39,567
NO, DIEGO, I'M GOOD.
THANK YOU, THOUGH.
438
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:41,601
NO, BUT WE HAVE MARGARITAS.
439
00:19:41,603 --> 00:19:43,003
MARGARITAS!
440
00:19:43,005 --> 00:19:45,440
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
441
00:19:45,442 --> 00:19:46,977
I'LL BE IN A LITTLE BIT.
442
00:19:49,611 --> 00:19:51,279
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT?
443
00:19:51,281 --> 00:19:53,013
WE GOT BEER, TEQUILA, I MEAN...
444
00:19:53,015 --> 00:19:54,382
- BEER IS FINE WITH ME.
- AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
445
00:19:54,384 --> 00:19:56,084
I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
THE BEST DRINK EVER.
446
00:19:56,086 --> 00:19:57,551
DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT.
447
00:19:57,553 --> 00:19:59,587
- HOW'S IT GOING?
- OH, MIRA. OYE, HOMBRE.
448
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:02,693
UN FAVOR, VETE PA' FUERA,
CHEQUEA SI LLUEGO EL TRAFICANTE.
449
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,059
PUES, CLARO QUE SI.
450
00:20:06,061 --> 00:20:07,761
MIRA, TOMA, TOMA, TOMA.
451
00:20:07,763 --> 00:20:09,731
YOU KNOW, I GOTTA GET ME
ONE OF THOSE.
452
00:20:09,733 --> 00:20:11,432
VERY SMART, VERY SMART.
453
00:20:11,434 --> 00:20:14,001
I WAS NEVER ONE OF THOSE
NINE-TO-FIVE GUYS, REALLY.
454
00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:15,736
I EARNED EVERYTHING
WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS
455
00:20:15,738 --> 00:20:17,538
AND IT'S ALL MINE.
456
00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:19,072
IT'S IMPRESSIVE.
457
00:20:19,074 --> 00:20:20,375
COULD TOTALLY RENT OUT
THE ROOMS HERE.
458
00:20:20,377 --> 00:20:22,676
ALL RIGHT, MISSY FOOL,
HERE YOU GO.
459
00:20:22,678 --> 00:20:24,011
GIVE THIS YOUR TRY.
460
00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:25,279
YOU GUYS ARE TOO NICE.
461
00:20:25,281 --> 00:20:27,315
- WHAT IS THIS?
- MM, JUST TRY IT.
462
00:20:28,784 --> 00:20:30,550
- IT'S TEQUILA.
- MM-HMM.
463
00:20:30,552 --> 00:20:32,720
AGAVE MARGARITA.
464
00:20:32,722 --> 00:20:34,388
NOW, I NEED YOU
TO HOLD ON TO THAT,
465
00:20:34,390 --> 00:20:36,491
'CAUSE WE GOT YOU
SOMETHING SPECIAL
466
00:20:36,493 --> 00:20:39,092
JUST FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
467
00:20:39,094 --> 00:20:40,427
BOW!
468
00:20:40,429 --> 00:20:43,563
UH-OH. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING TO ME?
469
00:20:43,565 --> 00:20:45,465
OH, STOP COMPLAINING.
470
00:20:45,467 --> 00:20:47,737
- MERRY CHRISTMAS!
- ¡FELIZ NAVIDAD, MIJITA!
471
00:20:51,340 --> 00:20:53,607
- OH!
- WHOO!
472
00:20:53,609 --> 00:20:56,610
- SO GOOD.
- OH, THAT GAVE ME GOOSEBUMPS.
473
00:20:56,612 --> 00:20:57,811
ALFONSO!
474
00:20:57,813 --> 00:20:59,246
CHANGE THE MUSIC, BRO.
475
00:20:59,248 --> 00:21:01,315
I NEED SOMETHING MORE RED HOT,
RED HOT.
476
00:21:01,317 --> 00:21:03,317
- I GOTTA DANCE. I GOTTA DANCE.
- COME ON. VAMONOS.
477
00:21:06,688 --> 00:21:08,423
WHO'S ADAM?
478
00:21:08,425 --> 00:21:10,825
OH, HE'S JUST THIS GUY
FROM TINDER.
479
00:21:10,827 --> 00:21:12,527
INVITE HIM, INVITE HIM.
480
00:21:12,529 --> 00:21:14,194
YOU KNOW, I WAS NEVER SINGLE
481
00:21:14,196 --> 00:21:16,431
DURING THAT WHOLE ENTIRE, LIKE,
ONLINE DATING THING.
482
00:21:16,433 --> 00:21:18,499
HE JUST HAD A FACEBOOK FLING.
483
00:21:18,501 --> 00:21:20,835
- UH.
- YEAH, AN OLD HIGH SCHOOL FLAME TRIED
484
00:21:20,837 --> 00:21:22,569
TO RECONNECT WITH HIM
ON FACEBOOK.
485
00:21:22,571 --> 00:21:24,105
WHAT... WHAT DID SHE SAY TO YOU,
BABY?
486
00:21:24,107 --> 00:21:26,540
SOMETHING LIKE, "HEY, D,
487
00:21:26,542 --> 00:21:29,210
REMEMBER THOSE STEAMY NIGHTS
IN THE BACK OF YOUR TRANS AM?"
488
00:21:29,212 --> 00:21:32,146
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
SHE'S MARRIED NOW
489
00:21:32,148 --> 00:21:33,414
AND SHE'S JUST A MEMORY.
490
00:21:33,416 --> 00:21:34,714
AND SHE WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU.
491
00:21:34,716 --> 00:21:38,118
SHE WAS... NOT...
NOT HOW I INTERPRETED IT.
492
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,520
NO, AND BESIDES,
I TOLD HER, I SAID,
493
00:21:39,522 --> 00:21:41,422
"HEY, NO, LOOK.
YOU KNOW, I AM MARRIED
494
00:21:41,424 --> 00:21:43,324
TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL
IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD."
495
00:21:43,326 --> 00:21:45,659
AWW. I DON'T THINK YOU GUYS WANT
496
00:21:45,661 --> 00:21:48,195
SOME TINDER RANDO ROAMING
AROUND YOUR HOUSE.
497
00:21:48,197 --> 00:21:50,464
HEY, ¿POR QUÉ NO?
498
00:21:50,466 --> 00:21:52,466
IF HE'S A CREEPER...
499
00:21:52,468 --> 00:21:54,167
I'M GONNA KNOCK HIS TEETH OUT.
500
00:21:54,169 --> 00:21:56,203
WELL, LET ME SEE
WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE.
501
00:21:56,205 --> 00:21:58,205
- OOH, ME, TOO.
- HE'S CUTE, RIGHT?
502
00:21:58,207 --> 00:22:00,774
HEY, WHAT'S...
WAIT, WHAT'S HE POINTING AT?
503
00:22:00,776 --> 00:22:02,443
I DON'T KNOW.
HE'S A FILMMAKER,
504
00:22:02,445 --> 00:22:03,677
SO I THINK HE'S, LIKE,
WORKING OR SOMETHING.
505
00:22:03,679 --> 00:22:05,646
YEAH? HE'S FAIR-SKINNED.
506
00:22:05,648 --> 00:22:06,848
- SO?
- I'M FAIR-SKINNED.
507
00:22:06,850 --> 00:22:08,648
WHY'S HE SO SKINNY?
508
00:22:08,650 --> 00:22:12,552
HEY, BABY, COMPARED TO THESE,
EVERYONE'S SKINNY.
509
00:22:12,554 --> 00:22:14,187
YOUR NIPPLES?
510
00:22:14,189 --> 00:22:16,692
OH, HE... HE MESSAGED YOU.
511
00:22:17,724 --> 00:22:19,260
"DOES IT MATTER
THAT I'M JEWISH?"
512
00:22:19,262 --> 00:22:21,662
WHY WOULD HE ASK IF IT MATTERS
IF HE'S JEWISH?
513
00:22:21,664 --> 00:22:23,630
'CAUSE I SAID
I'M AT A CHRISTMAS PARTY.
514
00:22:23,632 --> 00:22:26,200
OH, SO YOU ALREADY
INVITED HIM, THEN.
515
00:22:26,202 --> 00:22:27,467
- OOH!
- AYE!
516
00:22:29,671 --> 00:22:31,305
HE'S COMING, OKAY.
HE SAID HE'S COMING.
517
00:22:31,307 --> 00:22:33,273
- HE'S COMING, OKAY? HE'S COMING.
- OKAY, OKAY.
518
00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:40,882
THIS REMINDS ME OF, UH,
SHAVING MY LEGS.
519
00:22:40,884 --> 00:22:43,483
UH, WHICH I ACTUALLY
DON'T DO ANYMORE,
520
00:22:43,485 --> 00:22:45,153
UH, BECAUSE FEMINISM.
521
00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:48,155
UH, NOW, IF YOU'RE...
522
00:22:48,157 --> 00:22:49,859
ALL RIGHTY, THAT DOES IT.
523
00:22:52,494 --> 00:22:54,761
OOPSIES!
524
00:22:54,763 --> 00:22:56,196
ARE YOU... ARE YOU OKAY?
525
00:22:56,198 --> 00:22:57,764
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
526
00:22:57,766 --> 00:22:59,399
- HOW NEEDS ASPARAGUS?
- WHO NEEDS IT?
527
00:22:59,401 --> 00:23:01,168
- WE COULD DO WITHOUT IT.
- YEAH.
528
00:23:01,170 --> 00:23:02,435
YEAH, I DON'T NEED IT.
529
00:23:02,437 --> 00:23:03,937
ALL RIGHT,
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.
530
00:23:03,939 --> 00:23:06,473
JUST GONNA MAKE A LITTLE MOVE
OVER HERE.
531
00:23:06,475 --> 00:23:07,707
CAREFUL, I'M HEAVY.
532
00:23:07,709 --> 00:23:09,210
NO, YOU'RE LIGHT AS A BIRD.
533
00:23:09,212 --> 00:23:10,411
THIN AS A MACBOOK.
534
00:23:12,581 --> 00:23:14,714
ALL RIGHT.
535
00:23:14,716 --> 00:23:16,751
OKAY.
536
00:23:16,753 --> 00:23:19,921
HELLO.
537
00:23:19,923 --> 00:23:22,589
HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU
HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE?
538
00:23:22,591 --> 00:23:24,925
YES.
539
00:23:24,927 --> 00:23:26,696
BUT I LIKE HEARING IT.
540
00:23:29,831 --> 00:23:30,868
YOUR TURN.
541
00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:37,305
TO THE MOST MAGICAL
THREE MONTHS OF MY LIFE,
542
00:23:37,307 --> 00:23:42,210
AND TO STARTING A NEW CHAPTER
IN L.A. IN...
543
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:43,881
OH, MY GOSH!
IN JUST THREE WEEKS?
544
00:23:46,215 --> 00:23:47,748
LOOK. MY HAND.
545
00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:50,885
IT'S TREMBLING AT THE THOUGHT
OF YOU BEING HERE.
546
00:23:50,887 --> 00:23:53,887
I CAN'T WAIT TO BE THERE
WITH YOU.
547
00:23:53,889 --> 00:23:55,990
I FEEL LIKE I WAS BORN HERE
BY ACCIDENT.
548
00:23:55,992 --> 00:24:00,261
OH. WELL, I'M SURE YOUR PARENTS
LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
549
00:24:00,263 --> 00:24:01,662
OH.
550
00:24:01,664 --> 00:24:04,665
NO. I DON'T MEAN
I'M AN ACCIDENT.
551
00:24:04,667 --> 00:24:07,667
IT WAS JUST A JOKE ABOUT HOW NO
ONE LIVES IN WISCONSIN ON PURPOSE.
552
00:24:07,669 --> 00:24:09,270
I SEE.
553
00:24:09,272 --> 00:24:10,637
THAT'S FUNNY.
554
00:24:10,639 --> 00:24:13,441
- CHEERS.
- CHEERS.
555
00:24:13,443 --> 00:24:16,610
SMELLS LIKE A SENIOR CENTER
IN HERE.
556
00:24:16,612 --> 00:24:18,646
ADAM JUST WALKED IN.
557
00:24:18,648 --> 00:24:20,380
HI, ADAM!
558
00:24:20,382 --> 00:24:21,781
SORRY.
559
00:24:21,783 --> 00:24:23,717
HEY! HEY, SOPHIE!
560
00:24:23,719 --> 00:24:25,752
YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY ADORABLE.
561
00:24:27,756 --> 00:24:29,557
SON OF A BITCH.
562
00:24:29,559 --> 00:24:30,758
THIS KEEPS HAPPENING.
563
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,460
EVERY TIME I SAY A WORD
WITH SIRI IN IT,
564
00:24:32,462 --> 00:24:34,261
MY PHONE THINKS
I'M TALKING TO IT.
565
00:24:34,263 --> 00:24:37,264
HEY, LOOK. I'M SERIOUS.
566
00:24:37,266 --> 00:24:39,000
I'M SERIOUS.
567
00:24:39,002 --> 00:24:41,368
SERIAL KILLER.
568
00:24:41,370 --> 00:24:43,738
I WANT A BOWL OF CEREAL.
569
00:24:43,740 --> 00:24:45,438
- SIRI!
- THERE'S A SETTING FOR THAT, MAN.
570
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,274
IT'S NOT EVEN WORKING NOW.
WHERE?
571
00:24:47,276 --> 00:24:48,943
I'LL SHOW YOU LATER.
572
00:24:48,945 --> 00:24:50,810
ALL RIGHT.
UH, WELL, REAL QUICK.
573
00:24:50,812 --> 00:24:52,680
MY 5-4 PACKAGE HASN'T COME YET.
574
00:24:52,682 --> 00:24:53,914
CAN I BORROW A JACKET?
575
00:24:53,916 --> 00:24:55,816
MAYBE A SWAB OR TWO
OF DEODORANT?
576
00:24:55,818 --> 00:24:58,485
- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR DEODORANT?
- I GOT THE GEL KIND.
577
00:24:58,487 --> 00:25:00,053
IT'S LIKE SLIMY AND GROSS.
I JUST... I HATE IT.
578
00:25:00,055 --> 00:25:02,356
YEAH, OKAY.
UH, JUST NOTHING LEFT
579
00:25:02,358 --> 00:25:04,024
- OF THE SWEATER VEST, PLEASE.
- BLESS YOU, DAVE.
580
00:25:04,026 --> 00:25:06,493
- BYE, SOPHIE.
- BYE, ADAM.
581
00:25:06,495 --> 00:25:08,896
WHERE WERE WE?
582
00:25:08,898 --> 00:25:11,831
UH, DAVEY, MY COMPUTER'S DYING,
583
00:25:11,833 --> 00:25:13,033
AND I LEFT MY CHARGER AT WORK.
584
00:25:13,035 --> 00:25:15,036
LET'S TALK TOMORROW?
585
00:25:15,038 --> 00:25:16,503
OH, OKAY.
586
00:25:16,505 --> 00:25:18,039
UM, WHAT ABOUT DINNER?
587
00:25:18,041 --> 00:25:19,607
I'M SORRY.
I WANNA FINISH,
588
00:25:19,609 --> 00:25:21,008
BUT I'M AT ONE PERCENT.
589
00:25:21,010 --> 00:25:22,777
I'LL TEXT YOU FROM THE OFFICE.
590
00:25:22,779 --> 00:25:24,578
SURE. YEAH.
591
00:25:24,580 --> 00:25:26,946
UH, LET'S DO THAT.
592
00:25:26,948 --> 00:25:29,416
UH, SLEEP TIGHT.
593
00:25:29,418 --> 00:25:31,652
UH, SLEEP WELL.
594
00:25:31,654 --> 00:25:33,654
SUGARPLUM?
595
00:25:33,656 --> 00:25:36,424
I LOVE YOU.
596
00:25:36,426 --> 00:25:38,459
OKAY.
597
00:25:38,461 --> 00:25:40,027
OKAY.
598
00:25:40,029 --> 00:25:42,096
- TALK TOMORROW.
- YEAH, TALK TOMORROW.
599
00:25:42,098 --> 00:25:43,530
TALK TO YOU... WE'LL...
WE'LL TALK.
600
00:25:43,532 --> 00:25:44,865
GOOD NIGHT.
601
00:25:44,867 --> 00:25:46,770
- BYE.
- BYE.
602
00:25:51,907 --> 00:25:54,008
I SAID NOTHING LEFT
OF THE SWEATER VEST, ADAM.
603
00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:55,876
- WHAT ARE YOU...
- I'LL REPLACE IT, IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO IT.
604
00:25:55,878 --> 00:25:56,911
I LOVE THIS JACKET.
605
00:25:56,913 --> 00:25:58,546
MINUS THE RATTLING NOISE.
606
00:25:58,548 --> 00:26:00,947
I DON'T WANNA MISLEAD
ANY HOMELESS PEOPLE.
607
00:26:00,949 --> 00:26:02,383
YOU OKAY?
608
00:26:02,385 --> 00:26:04,719
I HEARD THE END.
OF YOUR CONVERSATION,
609
00:26:04,721 --> 00:26:06,857
HOPEFULLY NOT THE RELATIONSHIP.
610
00:26:07,990 --> 00:26:10,357
WHAT IS ON MY JACKET?
611
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,693
OH, IT'S PROBABLY
JUST DEODORANT.
612
00:26:12,695 --> 00:26:16,696
HOW'D YOU GET DEODORANT
ON THAT PART OF THE JACKET?
613
00:26:16,698 --> 00:26:18,432
I'LL JUST GRAB ANOTHER ONE.
614
00:26:18,434 --> 00:26:20,000
THIS IS A RANDOM THOUGHT,
615
00:26:20,002 --> 00:26:23,807
BUT WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST CALL YOU
FROM HER CELL PHONE?
616
00:26:33,148 --> 00:26:35,051
THANK YOU.
617
00:26:36,985 --> 00:26:39,653
HEY! I THINK I'M HERE,
618
00:26:39,655 --> 00:26:42,123
BUT THERE'S... THERE'S POLICE
ON THE FRONT PORCH
619
00:26:42,125 --> 00:26:43,925
AND IT SEEMS LIKE THE PARTY'S
BEING SHUT DOWN.
620
00:26:44,724 --> 00:26:46,559
- YO! HEY.
- EMMA, HEY.
621
00:26:46,561 --> 00:26:48,729
SORRY, IT JUST ENDED
LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO.
622
00:26:48,731 --> 00:26:50,498
OH, NO. TERRIBLE TIMING. SORRY.
623
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,633
- NO, THANKS FOR COMING.
- OH, OF COURSE, YEAH.
624
00:26:52,635 --> 00:26:55,735
YOU'RE... YOU...
YOU'RE VERY PRETTY.
625
00:26:55,737 --> 00:26:56,971
THANK YOU.
626
00:26:56,973 --> 00:26:58,606
YOU'RE QUITE HANDSOME.
627
00:26:58,608 --> 00:27:00,774
OH, YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH.
628
00:27:00,776 --> 00:27:02,842
WE SHOULD GO SOMEWHERE ELSE
'CAUSE I'M LIKE STILL IN THE ZONE.
629
00:27:02,844 --> 00:27:04,944
YOU'RE IN THE ZONE, YEAH.
WHERE SHOULD WE GO?
630
00:27:04,946 --> 00:27:07,047
- MM.
- GECKOS, AND YOU'RE BOTH COMING.
631
00:27:07,049 --> 00:27:08,682
DO YOU KNOW THEM?
632
00:27:08,684 --> 00:27:11,719
REALLY KNOW SOMEBODY?
633
00:27:11,721 --> 00:27:13,988
- I DON'T KNOW, LET'S JUST GO.
- YEAH. OKAY.
634
00:27:13,990 --> 00:27:16,056
♪ PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ♪
635
00:27:16,058 --> 00:27:21,162
♪ PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA SE
NECESSITA UNA POCA DE GRACIA. ♪
636
00:27:21,164 --> 00:27:22,996
YEAH! GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, GUYS,
637
00:27:22,998 --> 00:27:24,764
YOU CAN DRINK
AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.
638
00:27:24,766 --> 00:27:26,966
JUST, UH, BE SURE TO LEAVE
MY UNCLE A HEALTHY TIP, HUH?
639
00:27:26,968 --> 00:27:30,104
- OF COURSE.
- HEY!
640
00:27:30,106 --> 00:27:32,940
A LITTLE, UH, JUNGLE JUICE.
641
00:27:32,942 --> 00:27:34,541
THANK YOU.
642
00:27:34,543 --> 00:27:37,877
OH, OH, TODAY IS MY UNCLE'S
40TH ANNIVERSARY
643
00:27:37,879 --> 00:27:40,614
WITH HIS LOVELY WIFE,
MY TIA MARIA,
644
00:27:40,616 --> 00:27:42,582
THAT BEAUTIFUL LADY SITTING
OVER THERE.
645
00:27:42,584 --> 00:27:43,850
HOLA, TIA!
646
00:27:43,852 --> 00:27:45,421
- HEY.
- HI.
647
00:27:46,755 --> 00:27:47,954
HEY, CHEERS.
648
00:27:47,956 --> 00:27:49,456
CHEERS!
649
00:27:49,458 --> 00:27:51,492
HEY.
650
00:27:51,494 --> 00:27:52,992
IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR SOME PERICO,
651
00:27:52,994 --> 00:27:55,463
JUST HOLLER AT ME QUIETLY, HUH?
652
00:27:55,465 --> 00:27:57,231
I DON'T WANT MY TIA TO HEAR.
653
00:27:57,233 --> 00:27:59,032
- I'M OKAY.
- I THINK WE'RE GOOD.
654
00:27:59,034 --> 00:28:00,901
- THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY GENEROUS.
- THANKS.
655
00:28:00,903 --> 00:28:03,002
I DO ALL THE MAINTENANCE,
656
00:28:03,004 --> 00:28:05,705
SO IF THERE'S LIKE A PROBLEM
WITH THE HEATER, I FIX IT.
657
00:28:05,707 --> 00:28:07,942
IF THERE'S A LEAK, I FIX IT.
658
00:28:07,944 --> 00:28:10,778
SO YOU'RE LIKE THERE
EVERY DAY TAKING NAMES.
659
00:28:10,780 --> 00:28:12,780
- YES.
- AH, THAT'S IMPORTANT.
660
00:28:12,782 --> 00:28:14,915
YEAH. DO YOU, UH...
DO YOU LIVE THERE, TOO?
661
00:28:14,917 --> 00:28:16,783
NO. I LIVE IN LOS FELIZ,
662
00:28:16,785 --> 00:28:19,486
BUT THE HOUSE I MANAGE IS NEXT
DOOR TO CARLA AND DIEGO'S.
663
00:28:19,488 --> 00:28:20,687
THEY'RE GREAT, BY THE WAY.
664
00:28:20,689 --> 00:28:21,888
- THEY ARE.
- YEAH.
665
00:28:21,890 --> 00:28:23,757
I HATE GOING THERE ALONE,
THOUGH.
666
00:28:23,759 --> 00:28:25,759
THERE'S ALWAYS SOME SORT
OF DEBAUCHERY GOING ON.
667
00:28:25,761 --> 00:28:27,761
- AS YOU CAN SEE.
- NO, SCREW YOU!
668
00:28:27,763 --> 00:28:29,963
- YOU DIDN'T EVEN INVITE ME ANYWAYS.
- IT'S A BAR.
669
00:28:29,965 --> 00:28:31,699
I CAN'T STOP YOU
FROM SHOWING UP.
670
00:28:31,701 --> 00:28:33,733
- SAY THEIR NAMES AND THEY APPEAR.
- HI, GUYS.
671
00:28:33,735 --> 00:28:35,735
- MMM!
- AH, MY CHILDREN.
672
00:28:35,737 --> 00:28:37,771
- ¿QUÉ PASO?
- HEY.
673
00:28:37,773 --> 00:28:39,807
SO, WHO'S NEXT?
674
00:28:39,809 --> 00:28:41,774
- FOR WHAT?
- ♪ SINGING ♪
675
00:28:41,776 --> 00:28:44,011
- OH, NO, THAT'S NOT ME.
- NO. YOU GUYS DOING IT?
676
00:28:44,013 --> 00:28:45,678
♪ DON'T STOP THAT FEELING. ♪
677
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:46,981
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU POINTING
AT ME FOR? NO.
678
00:28:46,983 --> 00:28:50,017
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
679
00:28:50,019 --> 00:28:53,820
- IT'S GO TIME.
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
680
00:28:53,822 --> 00:28:59,827
ADAM.
681
00:28:59,829 --> 00:29:01,095
YES!
682
00:29:01,097 --> 00:29:04,164
YES!
683
00:29:04,166 --> 00:29:06,799
♪ COCKROACH, C-C-COCKROACH ♪
684
00:29:06,801 --> 00:29:09,802
♪ ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO DANCE ♪
685
00:29:09,804 --> 00:29:13,807
♪ SHE DOESN'T MIND THAT
HER LEG IS MISSING ♪
686
00:29:13,809 --> 00:29:17,043
♪ SHE WOULD NEVER MISS
A CHANCE ♪
687
00:29:17,045 --> 00:29:19,879
♪ IN THE HOUSE,
NOBODY WANTS HER ♪
688
00:29:19,881 --> 00:29:22,715
♪ SO THEY HUNT HER
THROUGH THE BACK DOOR ♪
689
00:29:22,717 --> 00:29:26,052
♪ NOW SHE GOES
AFTER THE CRUISING... ♪
690
00:29:26,054 --> 00:29:27,754
I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.
691
00:29:27,756 --> 00:29:29,188
IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHERE YOU MEET SOMEBODY.
692
00:29:29,190 --> 00:29:31,625
TINDER'S JUST ONE
OF A MILLION PLATFORMS.
693
00:29:31,627 --> 00:29:33,193
HAVEN'T YOU WONDERED
IF THESE DATING APPS
694
00:29:33,195 --> 00:29:35,229
ATTRACT A CERTAIN TYPE
OF PERSON?
695
00:29:35,231 --> 00:29:37,097
LIKE PEOPLE
WHO JUST WANT HOOKUPS
696
00:29:37,099 --> 00:29:39,899
OR WEIRDOS CATFISHING
FROM THEIR MOM'S BASEMENTS?
697
00:29:39,901 --> 00:29:41,734
I THINK I'M A PRETTY NORMAL GUY
698
00:29:41,736 --> 00:29:43,636
AND I CAN'T MEET ANYBODY
ANYWHERE.
699
00:29:43,638 --> 00:29:45,071
SO YOU THINK YOU'RE NORMAL, HUH?
700
00:29:45,073 --> 00:29:47,241
WELL, MY MOM SEEMS TO THINK SO.
701
00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:50,144
THEN AGAIN I HAVE BEEN OUT HERE
FOR SEVEN YEARS,
702
00:29:50,146 --> 00:29:53,180
AND, I DON'T KNOW, ANY TIME
I SEEM TO LIKE SOMEBODY
703
00:29:53,182 --> 00:29:54,647
THEY NEVER LIKE ME BACK.
704
00:29:54,649 --> 00:29:56,082
REALLY?
705
00:29:56,084 --> 00:29:58,819
I COULD BUILD A COLLAGE
OF ALL THE REJECTION TEXTS
706
00:29:58,821 --> 00:30:01,088
- THAT I'VE EVER RECEIVED.
- GOD, THAT SURPRISES ME.
707
00:30:01,090 --> 00:30:03,089
IT DOES.
708
00:30:03,091 --> 00:30:04,591
NO, I'VE TRIED 'EM ALL, TOO.
709
00:30:04,593 --> 00:30:07,595
LIKE BUMBLE, OKCUPID, JDATE,
710
00:30:07,597 --> 00:30:09,762
JSWIPE, EVEN CHRISTIAN MINGLE
711
00:30:09,764 --> 00:30:11,764
TO TRY MY HAND AT THE SHIKSAS.
712
00:30:11,766 --> 00:30:14,100
WAIT, WHAT ARE SHIKSAS?
713
00:30:14,102 --> 00:30:17,006
UH, THEY'RE, UH, ACCORDING
TO MY GRANDPA, PRACTICE.
714
00:30:18,773 --> 00:30:20,773
NEVER MIND.
715
00:30:22,778 --> 00:30:25,346
IS THIS SEXY THAT I'M TELLING
YOU ALL THIS?
716
00:30:25,348 --> 00:30:28,682
- I... YOU'RE DOING PRETTY GREAT SO FAR.
- IS THIS SMOOTH?
717
00:30:28,684 --> 00:30:31,719
GUYS ARE LIKE THE BALL
IN A PINBALL MACHINE,
718
00:30:31,721 --> 00:30:33,654
AND GIRLS ARE LIKE
THE LITTLE FLIPPER,
719
00:30:33,656 --> 00:30:35,021
PUSHING THEM
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
720
00:30:35,023 --> 00:30:37,191
OKAY, GUYS AND GIRLS
SHOULD PUSH EACH OTHER.
721
00:30:37,193 --> 00:30:38,925
WE SHOULD BE EQUALLY SUPPORTIVE.
722
00:30:38,927 --> 00:30:40,927
YEAH, BUT GUYS ARE
ONE-DIMENSIONAL.
723
00:30:40,929 --> 00:30:42,930
YOU CAN'T BLAME THEM
FOR ONLY WANTING ONE THING,
724
00:30:42,932 --> 00:30:44,964
JUST LIKE YOU CAN'T BLAME THE
BALL FOR GOING TOWARD THE DRAIN.
725
00:30:44,966 --> 00:30:46,634
YOU MEAN THE HOLE.
726
00:30:46,636 --> 00:30:49,103
GUYS ARE LIKE BALLS
AND GIRLS ARE LIKE THE HOLE.
727
00:30:49,105 --> 00:30:50,404
I'M ACTUALLY SHOOTING
A MUSIC VIDEO TOMORROW.
728
00:30:50,406 --> 00:30:51,838
TOMORROW?
729
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,206
- MM-HMM.
- YOU'RE OUT DRINKING?
730
00:30:53,208 --> 00:30:55,108
IT'S A NIGHT SHOOT,
SO I CAN SLEEP IN.
731
00:30:55,110 --> 00:30:57,077
WHAT IS IT ABOUT?
732
00:30:57,079 --> 00:30:59,847
IT'S ABOUT THIS ELDERLY COUPLE
THAT HAVE FALLEN OUT OF LOVE.
733
00:30:59,849 --> 00:31:02,782
ONE DAY THE HUSBAND GOES
TO AN ANTIQUE SHOP
734
00:31:02,784 --> 00:31:04,652
AND FINDS THIS LAMP.
735
00:31:04,654 --> 00:31:06,720
- LAMP?
- LAMP, YEAH.
736
00:31:06,722 --> 00:31:07,954
LIKE A THING THAT EMITS LIGHT.
737
00:31:07,956 --> 00:31:10,023
I KNOW WHAT A LAMP IS.
THANK YOU.
738
00:31:10,025 --> 00:31:12,792
HEY, I'M NOT JUDGING. I JUST FOUND
OUT WHAT A DUVET IS YESTERDAY.
739
00:31:12,794 --> 00:31:17,297
SO, ANYWAY, HE, UH,
THAT NIGHT, FLIPS THE LAMP ON,
740
00:31:17,299 --> 00:31:19,232
AND WHAT DOES HE SEE?
741
00:31:19,234 --> 00:31:22,703
HIS WIFE IS THE SAME AGE
AS THE DAY THAT THEY FIRST MET.
742
00:31:22,705 --> 00:31:26,173
SO HE RUNS TO THE MIRROR AND
HE, TOO, IS 50 YEARS YOUNGER.
743
00:31:26,175 --> 00:31:29,710
IT TRANSFORMED WHEREVER
THE LAMP CAST ITS LIGHT.
744
00:31:29,712 --> 00:31:31,678
THEY FALL BACK IN LOVE
745
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,914
UNTIL THE END WHEN THE BULB
GOES OUT AND THEN THEY DIE.
746
00:31:33,916 --> 00:31:35,315
WHAT?
747
00:31:35,317 --> 00:31:37,117
I'M JUST JOKING.
748
00:31:37,119 --> 00:31:39,118
THEY JUST REMEMBER WHY THEY FELL
IN LOVE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
749
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:40,319
THAT'S SO CUTE.
750
00:31:40,321 --> 00:31:42,056
I LIKE THAT.
751
00:31:42,058 --> 00:31:44,758
THE LAMP'S LIKE
A METAPHOR FOR LOVE,
752
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,828
THE LOVE THAT WAS LOST IN THE
DARKNESS IS FOUND IN THE LIGHT.
753
00:31:47,830 --> 00:31:49,463
- PROFOUND.
- MM. YOU SHOULD COME.
754
00:31:49,465 --> 00:31:53,399
BRING YOUR CAMERA,
BE OUR ON-SET PHOTOGRAPHER.
755
00:31:53,401 --> 00:31:54,902
- OKAY.
- YEAH?
756
00:31:54,904 --> 00:31:56,270
YEAH.
757
00:31:56,272 --> 00:31:57,771
SO I GET TO SEE YOU TOMORROW.
758
00:31:57,773 --> 00:31:59,740
CAN'T WAIT.
759
00:31:59,742 --> 00:32:03,042
OKAY, SO WE COVERED
DATING, WE COVERED WORK.
760
00:32:03,044 --> 00:32:05,111
TELL ME...
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FAMILY.
761
00:32:05,113 --> 00:32:07,146
UGH. YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW?
762
00:32:07,148 --> 00:32:09,148
WELL,
NOW YOU'VE PIQUED MY INTEREST, YEAH.
763
00:32:09,150 --> 00:32:12,152
OKAY. MY GRANDMA WAS AMAZING.
764
00:32:12,154 --> 00:32:15,422
I ACTUALLY LIVED WITH HER
FOR, LIKE, PART OF MY CHILDHOOD.
765
00:32:15,424 --> 00:32:17,191
MY PARENTS WERE GREAT.
766
00:32:17,193 --> 00:32:19,460
THEY'RE REALLY,
REALLY GREAT HUMANS,
767
00:32:19,462 --> 00:32:22,495
BUT THEY CHEATED ON EACH OTHER
A BUNCH.
768
00:32:22,497 --> 00:32:25,799
I HAVE THIS, LIKE, MEMORY OF BEING
IN THE BACKSEAT OF MY MOM'S CAR
769
00:32:25,801 --> 00:32:27,835
WHILE WE STAKED OUT
THE OTHER WOMAN'S HOUSE,
770
00:32:27,837 --> 00:32:30,169
JUST, LIKE, WAITING
FOR MY DAD TO COME OUT,
771
00:32:30,171 --> 00:32:33,206
AND HE DID AND IT JUST GOT
SUPER CRAZY AND MESSY.
772
00:32:33,208 --> 00:32:36,109
AND THEN SHE CHEATED ON HIM
TOWARDS THE END OF THEIR MARRIAGE,
773
00:32:36,111 --> 00:32:37,810
JUST LIKE ONE LAST JAB AT HIM.
774
00:32:37,812 --> 00:32:39,746
- THAT SOUNDS INTENSE.
- YEAH,
775
00:32:39,748 --> 00:32:42,750
NOT THE FINEST HOUR
IN WARREN FAMILY HISTORY.
776
00:32:42,752 --> 00:32:44,851
BUT THEY'RE FINE NOW.
I MEAN, SEPARATELY.
777
00:32:44,853 --> 00:32:46,986
AND I WENT TO LIVE
WITH MY GRANDMA IN CONNECTICUT
778
00:32:46,988 --> 00:32:48,821
FOR A WHILE AFTER THAT,
779
00:32:48,823 --> 00:32:52,259
WHICH WAS PROBABLY THE BEST
DECISION I EVER MADE.
780
00:32:52,261 --> 00:32:54,528
WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS?
I'M SORRY.
781
00:32:54,530 --> 00:32:56,195
I'M PROBABLY BEING, LIKE,
WAY MORE OPEN THAN I SHOULD.
782
00:32:56,197 --> 00:32:58,464
NO, NO, NO. NOT AT...
NOT AT ALL.
783
00:32:58,466 --> 00:33:00,134
I'M... I'M IMPRESSED.
784
00:33:00,136 --> 00:33:02,802
YOUR GRANDMA DID A GREAT JOB
RAISING YOU.
785
00:33:02,804 --> 00:33:04,404
SHE'S LIKE MRS. DOUBTFIRE,
786
00:33:04,406 --> 00:33:07,974
ONLY AN ACTUAL WOMAN AND
NOT YOUR DAD DRESSED IN DRAG.
787
00:33:07,976 --> 00:33:09,976
THAT'D BE DISTURBING.
788
00:33:09,978 --> 00:33:11,310
AND QUITE PROGRESSIVE.
789
00:33:11,312 --> 00:33:13,079
TRULY AHEAD OF ITS TIME,
THAT MOVIE.
790
00:33:13,081 --> 00:33:15,115
- IT WAS.
- MM.
791
00:33:15,117 --> 00:33:17,283
YEAH, I'M... I'M REALLY SURPRISED
YOU CALLED ME.
792
00:33:17,285 --> 00:33:19,153
- WHEN?
- EARLIER TONIGHT,
793
00:33:19,155 --> 00:33:20,354
BEFORE WE MET YOU CALLED.
794
00:33:20,356 --> 00:33:22,556
WOULD YOU HAVE PREFERRED
I TEXTED?
795
00:33:22,558 --> 00:33:24,090
NO. I LOVED IT.
796
00:33:24,092 --> 00:33:28,294
IT WAS, LIKE, VERY SWEET
AND GENTLEMANLY.
797
00:33:28,296 --> 00:33:31,063
WELL,
I'M GLAD THAT YOU APPRECIATED IT.
798
00:33:31,065 --> 00:33:32,965
THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT CALL ME
ARE MY PARENTS
799
00:33:32,967 --> 00:33:34,967
OR THOSE AUTOMATED MESSAGES
SAYING I'VE BEEN APPROVED
800
00:33:34,969 --> 00:33:36,970
FOR A $20,000 LOAN.
801
00:33:36,972 --> 00:33:39,039
WE SHOULD MAKE A DEAL
802
00:33:39,041 --> 00:33:42,943
THAT ALL FUTURE FORMS OF
COMMUNICATION, PHONE CALL ONLY.
803
00:33:42,945 --> 00:33:44,243
I'LL ONE UP YOU.
804
00:33:44,245 --> 00:33:46,445
HOW ABOUT ALL FUTURE FORMS
OF COMMUNICATING
805
00:33:46,447 --> 00:33:48,281
MUST BE DONE IN PERSON?
806
00:33:48,283 --> 00:33:51,251
THAT'D MEAN WE'D HAVE
TO SEE EACH OTHER EVERY DAY.
807
00:33:51,253 --> 00:33:52,919
OKAY, SO YOU DIDN'T LET ME
FINISH.
808
00:33:52,921 --> 00:33:56,389
UNLESS WE'RE MAKING PLANS
TO SEE EACH OTHER,
809
00:33:56,391 --> 00:33:58,090
AT WHICH POINT,
YOU KNOW, A PHONE CALL
810
00:33:58,092 --> 00:34:00,126
OR A HANDWRITTEN NOTE WILL DO.
811
00:34:00,128 --> 00:34:01,595
OKAY, IT'S A DEAL.
812
00:34:01,597 --> 00:34:03,563
- SHAKE ON IT?
- YEAH.
813
00:34:03,565 --> 00:34:06,401
IT'S OFFICIAL.
814
00:34:51,112 --> 00:34:54,081
SO YOU TOLD HER YOU LOVE HER
AND SHE DIDN'T SAY IT BACK,
815
00:34:54,083 --> 00:34:56,516
AND NOW YOU'RE WATCHING MY VIDEO BECAUSE
YOU THINK IT'S GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
816
00:34:56,518 --> 00:34:59,052
I'M SORRY FOR YOU, BUDDY, YOU KNOW,
BUT I SPEAK THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH HURTS.
817
00:34:59,054 --> 00:35:01,387
FIRST OF ALL, THERE'S A VERY GOOD
CHANCE SHE DIDN'T LOVE YOU AT ALL.
818
00:35:01,389 --> 00:35:03,257
SHE WAS JUST TRYING
TO SPARE YOUR FEELINGS.
819
00:35:03,259 --> 00:35:04,891
EVERYBODY WANTS CONNECTION
WITHOUT THE CONVERSATION.
820
00:35:04,893 --> 00:35:06,192
SO IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR ANSWERS,
821
00:35:06,194 --> 00:35:08,094
I SUGGEST YOU REMOVE
THE SUPER GLUE
822
00:35:08,096 --> 00:35:09,630
BONDING YOUR TESTICLES
TO YOUR EGO,
823
00:35:09,632 --> 00:35:11,197
START ASKING SOME
FUCKING QUESTIONS.
824
00:35:11,199 --> 00:35:12,465
SECONDLY, I THINK...
825
00:35:12,467 --> 00:35:13,933
LISTEN TO THIS.
826
00:35:13,935 --> 00:35:15,369
"SO SORRY. I COULDN'T SLEEP.
827
00:35:15,371 --> 00:35:17,570
HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH YOU."
SMILEY FACE.
828
00:35:17,572 --> 00:35:19,338
"EMMA. P.S., REALLY SORRY
ABOUT THE LAMP.
829
00:35:19,340 --> 00:35:21,141
LET ME KNOW
HOW I CAN MAKE IT UP TO YOU."
830
00:35:21,143 --> 00:35:23,242
THAT EXPLAINS THE MESS.
831
00:35:23,244 --> 00:35:25,512
- DID YOU LEAVE MONEY FOR IT?
- NO.
832
00:35:25,514 --> 00:35:27,413
WAIT, SHOULD I HAVE?
833
00:35:27,415 --> 00:35:29,349
DID SHE REALIZE THAT WAS A PROP
FOR YOUR SHOOT TODAY?
834
00:35:29,351 --> 00:35:31,050
IT'S NOT EVEN THE LAMP
THAT I'M UPSET ABOUT.
835
00:35:31,052 --> 00:35:32,985
YOU KNOW, IT'S THE FACT THAT
WE HAD THIS GREAT NIGHT OUT,
836
00:35:32,987 --> 00:35:34,554
FOLLOWED BY A REALLY
GREAT NIGHT IN,
837
00:35:34,556 --> 00:35:36,623
AND THEN SHE'S TAKEN OFF
AS IF IT WERE A ONE-NIGHT STAND.
838
00:35:36,625 --> 00:35:38,458
- MAYBE IT WAS.
- IT WASN'T.
839
00:35:38,460 --> 00:35:39,927
- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
- SHOULD I CALL HER?
840
00:35:39,929 --> 00:35:41,395
IF I WERE YOU, YEAH.
841
00:35:41,397 --> 00:35:44,630
LOOK, THE EARLY MORNING DIP OUT
IS NOT BENEATH ME,
842
00:35:44,632 --> 00:35:48,302
BUT I AM VERY AWARE THAT SOME
PEOPLE ARE NOT COOL WITH IT.
843
00:35:48,304 --> 00:35:50,304
STOP BITING YOUR CUTICLES.
844
00:35:50,306 --> 00:35:52,271
IT'S DISGUSTING.
845
00:35:52,273 --> 00:35:54,206
IF HE ACTUALLY LIKES ME,
HE'S GONNA REACH OUT, RIGHT?
846
00:35:54,208 --> 00:35:56,476
- MAYBE YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN.
- IF TINDER EXISTED
847
00:35:56,478 --> 00:35:59,279
WHEN YOUR GRANDPARENTS MET, YOU'D
PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE RIGHT NOW.
848
00:35:59,281 --> 00:36:01,380
MY GRANDMA WOULD'VE JUST SNUCK
OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
849
00:36:01,382 --> 00:36:03,215
AND FOUND SOME OTHER SCHMUCK
FIVE MILES AWAY.
850
00:36:03,217 --> 00:36:04,985
WHY YOU BRINGING
MY GRANDPARENTS INTO THIS?
851
00:36:04,987 --> 00:36:06,453
BECAUSE, DAVE, THEY HAD IT EASY.
852
00:36:06,455 --> 00:36:08,454
ALL RIGHT,
GHOSTING SOMEBODY IN 1940
853
00:36:08,456 --> 00:36:10,359
JUST MEANT MOVING TO A DIFFERENT AREA CODE.
854
00:36:12,594 --> 00:36:14,161
- WELL, LOOK WHO IT IS.
- I GOT YOUR TEXT.
855
00:36:14,163 --> 00:36:16,195
I'M SORRY, THE ANSWER IS NO.
856
00:36:16,197 --> 00:36:18,130
WELL,
DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH A LAMP?
857
00:36:18,132 --> 00:36:20,067
- ANYONE AT ALL?
- NOT THE KIND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.
858
00:36:20,069 --> 00:36:22,069
AND, HONESTLY, IF I WERE YOU,
I'D HAVE THIS CHICK PAY FOR IT.
859
00:36:22,071 --> 00:36:23,704
RIGHT. WANNA HELP OUT TONIGHT?
860
00:36:23,706 --> 00:36:26,373
IF THIS GIRL ACTUALLY ENDS UP
COMING, I WANT YOU TO MEET HER.
861
00:36:26,375 --> 00:36:28,375
NO, NO, NO. YOU'RE NOT GONNA
SASHAY ME AROUND
862
00:36:28,377 --> 00:36:30,309
SO I COULD PLAY THE PART
OF YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND.
863
00:36:30,311 --> 00:36:32,411
NOBODY WOULD EVER SUSPECT
YOU OF BEING MY BEST FRIEND.
864
00:36:32,413 --> 00:36:34,280
YEAH, THAT'S FAIR.
I GOTTA WORK, THOUGH.
865
00:36:34,282 --> 00:36:36,049
IS THIS WHAT OUR RELATIONSHIP
HAS BECOME,
866
00:36:36,051 --> 00:36:38,217
- JUST A SERIES OF EXCUSES?
- SORRY, MAN, I'M BUSY.
867
00:36:38,219 --> 00:36:40,052
YES, 'CAUSE YOU'RE TOO BUSY
MEETING UP WITH DUDES ON GRINDR.
868
00:36:40,054 --> 00:36:42,288
ACTUALLY, THAT PART
TAKES FIVE MINUTES.
869
00:36:42,290 --> 00:36:44,224
- I'M TALKING ABOUT WORK.
- YOU SHOULD JUST FIND A SUGAR DADDY.
870
00:36:44,226 --> 00:36:45,558
WHY DON'T YOU FIND
A SUGAR DADDY?
871
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,362
- EH...
- THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
872
00:36:48,364 --> 00:36:50,130
ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA GET BACK
TO WORK.
873
00:36:50,132 --> 00:36:51,998
- ALL RIGHT, LATER.
- I'LL TALK TO YOU.
874
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,433
YOU SERIOUS?
875
00:36:54,435 --> 00:36:57,237
I GUESS YOU'RE FROM HOLLYWOOD.
876
00:36:57,239 --> 00:36:58,572
DID HE BRING THE DRINKS?
877
00:36:58,574 --> 00:37:00,407
- JUST GET OUTTA HERE.
- RELAX.
878
00:37:00,409 --> 00:37:02,175
IT'S NOT LIKE
SHE'S GONNA SUSPECT
879
00:37:02,177 --> 00:37:03,657
YOU'RE BANGING THE PIZZA
DELIVERY BOY.
880
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,179
I'M SERIOUS.
IF YOU COME BACK HERE AGAIN,
881
00:37:07,181 --> 00:37:09,449
I'M GONNA THROW YOU OFF
THIS GODDAMN BALCONY.
882
00:37:09,451 --> 00:37:11,351
THAT'S FUNNY TO YOU?
883
00:37:11,353 --> 00:37:13,255
NO, SORRY, JUST NERVES.
884
00:37:14,389 --> 00:37:16,192
JUST GET ME A NEW ONE.
885
00:37:17,326 --> 00:37:19,028
SEND SOMEBODY ELSE.
886
00:37:21,496 --> 00:37:25,032
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M GETTING
SO INSIDE MY HEAD ABOUT THIS.
887
00:37:25,034 --> 00:37:26,800
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GOOGLE IT.
888
00:37:26,802 --> 00:37:28,402
I GOOGLE ALL MY PROBLEMS.
889
00:37:28,404 --> 00:37:29,703
YOU'VE BEEN IN A THREE-MONTH
RELATIONSHIP
890
00:37:29,705 --> 00:37:31,605
ON FACETIME
WITH A GIRL YOU MET ONCE.
891
00:37:31,607 --> 00:37:33,639
THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
THAT'S A MODERN-DAY FAIRYTALE.
892
00:37:33,641 --> 00:37:35,442
SOUNDS LIKE YOU FELL IN LOVE
LAST NIGHT.
893
00:37:35,444 --> 00:37:37,277
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
894
00:37:37,279 --> 00:37:39,779
I MEAN, I LIKE HER BUT GIVEN
MY TRACK RECORD OF REJECTION,
895
00:37:39,781 --> 00:37:41,213
SHE'LL PROBABLY JUST IGNORE ME.
896
00:37:41,215 --> 00:37:42,581
FOR ALL I KNOW
IT WAS A ONE-NIGHT STAND
897
00:37:42,583 --> 00:37:44,583
AND NOW I'M DRIVING MYSELF
ABSOLUTELY NUTS
898
00:37:44,585 --> 00:37:46,186
JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
IF I SHOULD CALL.
899
00:37:46,188 --> 00:37:47,820
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TEXT HER.
900
00:37:47,822 --> 00:37:50,724
- TEXT EMMA? NO, WE GOT THIS...
- TEXTING EMMA.
901
00:37:51,125 --> 00:37:52,324
NO.
902
00:37:52,326 --> 00:37:54,061
NO! NO!
903
00:37:54,063 --> 00:37:57,096
YOU KNOW, IF YOUR FINGERS
ARE FEELING IDLE,
904
00:37:57,098 --> 00:37:58,831
YOU COULD TEXT THAT BEEFCAKE
FROM YESTERDAY.
905
00:37:58,833 --> 00:38:00,166
WHO, WILLIAM? NO.
906
00:38:00,168 --> 00:38:01,601
IF YOU WON'T, I WILL.
907
00:38:01,603 --> 00:38:04,103
BESIDES, YOU DID SAY
THAT HE REMINDED YOU OF...
908
00:38:04,105 --> 00:38:05,605
OH WAIT, HE TEXTED ME.
909
00:38:05,607 --> 00:38:07,474
WHO, BEEFCAKE?
910
00:38:07,476 --> 00:38:10,643
"I MEAN, I WIPE HER BUTT GIVEN
MY TRACK RECORD OF REJECTION.
911
00:38:10,645 --> 00:38:13,179
SHE'LL PROBABLY JUST..."
OH, HE'S CALLING ME NOW. WHAT?
912
00:38:13,181 --> 00:38:15,248
- HELLO?
- HEY.
913
00:38:15,250 --> 00:38:17,483
- DID YOU GET MY TEXT?
- I DID.
914
00:38:17,485 --> 00:38:19,518
I, UH... I'M NOT SURE I FOLLOW.
915
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,123
AH, I WAS JUST... IT'S LIKE PART
OF AN OP-ED PIECE ABOUT MODERN...
916
00:38:23,125 --> 00:38:24,623
IT'S... IT'S STUPID.
JUST IGNORE IT.
917
00:38:24,625 --> 00:38:27,126
IS IT ABOUT US OR...?
918
00:38:27,128 --> 00:38:29,329
UM, NO, JUST, LIKE,
MY EXPERIENCES
919
00:38:29,331 --> 00:38:31,431
WITH DATING IN GENERAL.
920
00:38:31,433 --> 00:38:34,433
ANYWAY, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WEIRDER
NOT TO CALL YOU AT THIS POINT.
921
00:38:34,435 --> 00:38:37,337
NO, I'M... I'M GLAD THAT YOU DID.
922
00:38:37,339 --> 00:38:39,873
I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THE LAMP.
923
00:38:39,875 --> 00:38:41,842
I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE MORE
PERSONAL TO LEAVE A HANDWRITTEN NOTE
924
00:38:41,844 --> 00:38:43,242
INSTEAD OF A TEXT.
925
00:38:43,244 --> 00:38:45,244
YEAH, YOU DID THE BEST
YOU COULD.
926
00:38:45,246 --> 00:38:47,179
I'LL BUY YOU A NEW ONE.
927
00:38:47,181 --> 00:38:50,282
OR I CAN, LIKE, GIVE YOU A GIFT
CARD TO WEST ELM OR SOMETHING.
928
00:38:50,284 --> 00:38:51,650
IT'S... IT'S COOL.
929
00:38:51,652 --> 00:38:54,654
UH, YOU STILL WANNA HELP
WITH THE SHOOT TONIGHT?
930
00:38:54,656 --> 00:38:56,489
YEAH, I DO.
931
00:38:56,491 --> 00:38:58,391
THANK YOU FOR CALLING,
BY THE WAY.
932
00:38:58,393 --> 00:39:00,295
YEAH, THAT'S HOW I DO.
933
00:39:02,864 --> 00:39:04,663
ANYWAY, I'LL TALK
TO YOU LATER, OKAY?
934
00:39:04,665 --> 00:39:07,166
- BYE.
- BYE.
935
00:39:07,168 --> 00:39:09,436
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
I AM SEEING HIM TONIGHT.
936
00:39:09,438 --> 00:39:11,304
OH, ISN'T THAT NICE?
937
00:39:11,306 --> 00:39:12,873
ONE LITTLE PHONE CHAT AND
EVERYTHING'S ALL CLEARED UP.
938
00:39:12,875 --> 00:39:15,275
IT WAS NICE OF HIM TO CALL,
THOUGH.
939
00:39:15,277 --> 00:39:16,775
IT WAS, WASN'T IT?
940
00:39:16,777 --> 00:39:18,777
YOU KNOW, I'M HAVING THIS GUEST
ON TOMORROW NIGHT
941
00:39:18,779 --> 00:39:21,815
THAT CAN'T STOP SOCIAL MEDIA
STALKING ONE OF HER BOYFRIENDS.
942
00:39:21,817 --> 00:39:24,784
- ONE OF?
- IF SHE WOULD JUST PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL,
943
00:39:24,786 --> 00:39:26,520
SHE'D PROBABLY
GET MUCH BETTER ANSWERS
944
00:39:26,522 --> 00:39:29,588
THAN SURMISING HIS EVERY MOVE
OFF OF INSTAGRAM PICS.
945
00:39:29,590 --> 00:39:33,159
SPEAKING OF, WHICH ONE OF YOUR MANY
LOVERS ARE YOU STALKING RIGHT NOW?
946
00:39:33,161 --> 00:39:35,328
NONE.
947
00:39:35,330 --> 00:39:37,596
THERE'S THIS ONE GUY,
ABRAHAM ROSEN.
948
00:39:37,598 --> 00:39:39,632
HE KEEPS TROLLING MY WEBSITE.
949
00:39:39,634 --> 00:39:41,333
SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE
ABOUT INTERNET TROLLS?
950
00:39:41,335 --> 00:39:43,369
AND HE HAS LUNCH
AT THE SAME SPOT EVERY DAY,
951
00:39:43,371 --> 00:39:46,306
- THIS ARMENIAN SPOT UP THE WAY.
- SO?
952
00:39:46,308 --> 00:39:49,942
HE SAID THAT HE WANTED
TO REPORT MY PODCAST
953
00:39:49,944 --> 00:39:53,579
TO THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH SO
THEY COULD CLASSIFY IT AS AN STD.
954
00:39:53,581 --> 00:39:56,248
DAMN.
955
00:39:56,250 --> 00:39:57,918
SO THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE JUST
LIKE EVERY OTHER NIGHT.
956
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:01,288
OKAY? YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN
MARRIED FOR 50 YEARS,
957
00:40:01,290 --> 00:40:04,357
AND ALL THE LOVE AND THE PASSION
THAT WAS ONCE THERE IS GONE.
958
00:40:04,359 --> 00:40:06,192
SO PRETEND HE'S MY REAL HUSBAND.
959
00:40:06,194 --> 00:40:09,262
- EXACTLY. YEAH.
- I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM, OKAY?
960
00:40:09,264 --> 00:40:11,434
- YEAH, PLEASE. YOU?
- NO.
961
00:40:13,569 --> 00:40:15,302
- WATER?
- OH, NO, NO.
962
00:40:15,304 --> 00:40:16,772
THANK YOU.
963
00:40:22,243 --> 00:40:24,344
SO MY FRIEND SHOULD BE HERE ANY
SECOND WITH THE REPLACEMENT LAMP,
964
00:40:24,346 --> 00:40:25,612
- AND THEN WE'LL RUN A REHEARSAL.
- OKAY.
965
00:40:25,614 --> 00:40:27,413
YOU WANT ME TO BE READING, TOO,
966
00:40:27,415 --> 00:40:29,648
OR SHOULD I BE TRYING TO SLEEP
AND HE'S WAKING ME UP
967
00:40:29,650 --> 00:40:30,916
WITH HIS FAKAKTA LAMP?
968
00:40:30,918 --> 00:40:33,520
UH, I THINK YOU SHOULD
BE READING, TOO.
969
00:40:33,522 --> 00:40:36,288
YEAH, IT'S LIKE A ROUTINE, ONLY
TONIGHT DOESN'T GO AS PLANNED.
970
00:40:36,290 --> 00:40:38,224
- GOTCHA!
- STEF, YOU'RE A LIFE SAVER.
971
00:40:38,226 --> 00:40:39,659
WHY DON'T WE TAKE JUST
LIKE A 30-MINUTE BREAK
972
00:40:39,661 --> 00:40:41,494
AND THEN WE'LL PICK UP
WHERE WE LEFT OFF?
973
00:40:41,496 --> 00:40:42,661
- SURE.
- ALL RIGHT.
974
00:40:42,663 --> 00:40:45,232
30 MINUTES!
975
00:40:45,234 --> 00:40:47,467
- HI!
- THIS IS AMAZING. THANK YOU.
976
00:40:47,469 --> 00:40:49,735
JUST BE CAREFUL WITH HER,
MY AUNT GAVE HER TO ME.
977
00:40:49,737 --> 00:40:51,904
I WILL TREAT HER LIKE
SHE IS MY ONLY CHILD.
978
00:40:51,906 --> 00:40:54,507
UM, THIS IS...
THIS IS EMMA, BY THE WAY,
979
00:40:54,509 --> 00:40:56,442
OUR AMAZING ON-SET PHOTOGRAPHER.
980
00:40:56,444 --> 00:40:57,677
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
981
00:40:57,679 --> 00:40:59,346
I'M THE ONE WHO BROKE THE LAMP.
982
00:40:59,348 --> 00:41:02,549
SO, THE BROKEN LAMP CULPRIT.
983
00:41:02,551 --> 00:41:04,617
IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THIS...
984
00:41:04,619 --> 00:41:07,654
THEN I WILL PAY YOU AND YOUR AUNT
THREE TIMES WHAT IT IS WORTH.
985
00:41:07,656 --> 00:41:09,788
NO, I THINK THEN YOU'LL MAKE
MY BIRTHDAY PARTY
986
00:41:09,790 --> 00:41:11,523
- THREE TIMES MORE FUN.
- IF YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY
987
00:41:11,525 --> 00:41:13,492
ISN'T LIKE MAXIMUM FUN THEN
I HAVE FAILED YOU AS A FRIEND.
988
00:41:13,494 --> 00:41:15,328
I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO COME.
989
00:41:15,330 --> 00:41:17,630
I'M ALREADY COMPETING
WITH CHRISTMAS, NEW YEAR'S.
990
00:41:17,632 --> 00:41:19,733
- WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?
- A LITTLE NITRO BREW.
991
00:41:19,735 --> 00:41:21,668
- CAN I TRY SOME?
- I'M SEEING FRANCIS LATER IF YOU WANNA COME.
992
00:41:21,670 --> 00:41:24,036
MM. HOW MUCH?
993
00:41:24,038 --> 00:41:25,639
NOTHING.
MY CO-WORKER HAS TO WORK LATE.
994
00:41:25,641 --> 00:41:26,940
SHE JUST GAVE ME THE TICKETS.
995
00:41:26,942 --> 00:41:28,608
I'M SO DOWN.
996
00:41:28,610 --> 00:41:30,643
I'M GONNA BUY YOU A T-SHIRT
THIS TIME.
997
00:41:30,645 --> 00:41:31,777
UM, DO YOU HAVE AN EXTRA TICKET?
998
00:41:31,779 --> 00:41:33,512
SHE ONLY GAVE ME TWO,
999
00:41:33,514 --> 00:41:35,547
BUT I'M SURE YOU COULD FIND
A TICKET ON CRAIGSLIST,
1000
00:41:35,549 --> 00:41:37,717
- IF YOU WANNA COME.
- YEAH, OR I'LL JUST GIVE YOU MY TICKET
1001
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:39,652
AND THEN I'LL BUY ONE
FROM LIKE A SCALPER OUTSIDE.
1002
00:41:39,654 --> 00:41:42,288
OH, THAT'S OKAY. I ACTUALLY HAVE
PLANS WITH MY ROOMMATE TONIGHT,
1003
00:41:42,290 --> 00:41:43,523
AND I CAN'T REALLY DITCH HER.
SO...
1004
00:41:43,525 --> 00:41:44,757
YOU ALREADY HAVE PLANS?
1005
00:41:44,759 --> 00:41:46,358
YEAH.
1006
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,695
BUT YOU GUYS GO TO THE CONCERT
AND HAVE FUN.
1007
00:41:48,697 --> 00:41:50,362
WE'LL JUST DO SOMETHING
LATER THIS WEEK.
1008
00:41:50,364 --> 00:41:51,998
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- WHOSE BAG IS THIS?
1009
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,400
THIS IS A HOT SET.
WE GOTTA KEEP THIS WHOLE AREA CLEAR.
1010
00:41:54,402 --> 00:41:56,402
THAT'S... THAT'S MINE.
I'M SORRY.
1011
00:41:56,404 --> 00:41:58,704
- JUST KEEP IT TO THE SIDE.
- HEY, THIS LOOKS REALLY LEGIT.
1012
00:41:58,706 --> 00:42:00,739
I KNOW, I'M THE NEXT
SPIKE JONZE.
1013
00:42:00,741 --> 00:42:02,909
- CAN I HAVE A SIP?
- OH, OF COURSE.
1014
00:42:02,911 --> 00:42:04,978
- YOU GOT A LITTLE... IT BECOMES YOU.
- A LITTLE SOMETHING?
1015
00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:06,679
- YEAH.
- OH, WHOA, WHOA!
1016
00:42:06,681 --> 00:42:08,480
- NOT FUNNY.
- I'M JUST JOKING.
1017
00:42:08,482 --> 00:42:10,550
I'LL BE THE ONE TO CALL
YOUR AUNT WHEN I BREAK A LAMP.
1018
00:42:10,552 --> 00:42:11,817
OH, I LOOK FORWARD
TO THAT PHONE CALL.
1019
00:42:11,819 --> 00:42:14,920
♪ OH, I'M READY, I'M READY ♪
1020
00:42:14,922 --> 00:42:16,690
♪ GOT TO MAKE SURE ♪
1021
00:42:16,692 --> 00:42:20,793
♪ EVERYBODY WANTS
TO UNDERSTAND ♪
1022
00:42:20,795 --> 00:42:23,663
♪ GO STEADY, GO STEADY ♪
1023
00:42:23,665 --> 00:42:29,369
♪ YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY
WHEN THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT ♪
1024
00:42:29,371 --> 00:42:32,338
♪ I FEEL SCARED TONIGHT ♪
1025
00:42:32,340 --> 00:42:35,641
♪ I'M VERY LONELY,
I'M TIRED ♪
1026
00:42:35,643 --> 00:42:37,043
♪ WAITING ON YOU ♪
1027
00:42:37,045 --> 00:42:40,679
♪ I TURN OFF THE LIGHTS ♪
1028
00:42:40,681 --> 00:42:43,983
♪ SOMEBODY'S WATCHING,
YOU KNOW THEM ♪
1029
00:42:43,985 --> 00:42:45,955
♪ COMING FOR YOU ♪
1030
00:42:53,661 --> 00:42:54,661
HELLO.
1031
00:42:56,630 --> 00:42:58,598
OUT OF BREATH ALREADY, MATE?
1032
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,500
STAIRS ARE A HIKE.
1033
00:43:01,502 --> 00:43:03,436
IT'S A REALLY NICE PLACE
YOU HAVE.
1034
00:43:03,438 --> 00:43:05,471
YEAH, IT'S MY OWN
PRIVATE HAKKASAN.
1035
00:43:05,473 --> 00:43:06,973
EVERYONE DRINKS FREE.
1036
00:43:06,975 --> 00:43:09,108
SPEAKING OF,
YOU WANT A DRINK?
1037
00:43:09,110 --> 00:43:11,513
UH, YEAH, SURE.
1038
00:43:13,547 --> 00:43:14,780
YOU GOT ROOMMATES?
1039
00:43:14,782 --> 00:43:16,583
YEAH, ONE.
1040
00:43:16,585 --> 00:43:19,386
HE'S CRASHING HERE WHILE
HIS OWN PLACE GETS RENOVATED.
1041
00:43:19,388 --> 00:43:23,889
- DON'T WORRY, HE'S COOL.
- THANKS.
1042
00:43:23,891 --> 00:43:25,991
SO, I TAKE IT YOU'RE
AUSTRALIAN?
1043
00:43:25,993 --> 00:43:28,795
YOU TOOK IT CORRECTLY.
AMERICAN?
1044
00:43:28,797 --> 00:43:30,462
NATIVE.
1045
00:43:30,464 --> 00:43:32,799
WELL, NOT NATIVE AMERICAN...
1046
00:43:32,801 --> 00:43:36,770
ALTHOUGH MY MOM SAYS SHE'S
PART NATIVE AMERICAN CHEROKEE...
1047
00:43:36,772 --> 00:43:39,773
OR, I DON'T KNOW...
1048
00:43:39,775 --> 00:43:40,843
LET'S GO TO MY ROOM.
1049
00:43:45,781 --> 00:43:47,846
UH, DOOR OPEN, CLOSED?
1050
00:43:47,848 --> 00:43:50,652
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
1051
00:43:58,659 --> 00:44:03,462
I GOTTA SAY, YOU'RE ACTUALLY
HOTTER IN PERSON.
1052
00:44:03,464 --> 00:44:05,632
SUCKS YOU DON'T LIVE HERE
YEAR ROUND.
1053
00:44:05,634 --> 00:44:08,534
YEAH, WELL, I'M HERE OFTEN.
1054
00:44:08,536 --> 00:44:10,069
JUST KIND OF DEPENDS
ON WORK.
1055
00:44:10,071 --> 00:44:12,572
OH, YEAH, WHAT DO YOU DO
FOR A LIVING?
1056
00:44:12,574 --> 00:44:14,706
I AM A DIALECT COACH.
1057
00:44:14,708 --> 00:44:16,208
IN THE MIDDLE OF HELPING
SHIA LABEOUF
1058
00:44:16,210 --> 00:44:18,645
PREPARE FOR HIS ROLE
AS AN AUSSIE HYPOCHONDRIAC.
1059
00:44:18,647 --> 00:44:21,047
- WHAT IS THAT LIKE?
- SAME AS AMERICAN HYPOCHONDRIAC.
1060
00:44:21,049 --> 00:44:22,982
NO, I MEAN, WORKING FOR SHIA.
1061
00:44:22,984 --> 00:44:24,717
I HEARD HE CAN BE
KIND OF DIFFICULT.
1062
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:26,652
HE'S A MACHINE.
LOOK AT WHAT HE DID TO ME.
1063
00:44:26,654 --> 00:44:28,487
- WHAT? WHOA.
- YEAH.
1064
00:44:28,489 --> 00:44:30,155
WE WERE JUST ROUGHIN' IT
A BIT.
1065
00:44:30,157 --> 00:44:31,157
A LITTLE PLAYFUL.
1066
00:44:31,159 --> 00:44:33,226
OKAY, YOU LIKE IT ROUGH.
1067
00:44:33,228 --> 00:44:35,161
WELL, I'D BE LYING
IF I SAID
1068
00:44:35,163 --> 00:44:37,996
I WASN'T
A LITTLE TURNED ON.
1069
00:44:37,998 --> 00:44:38,998
I THINK I WOULD BE, TOO.
1070
00:44:43,003 --> 00:44:44,971
OKAY, I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP.
1071
00:44:44,973 --> 00:44:46,605
I'M ACTUALLY FROM GLENDALE.
1072
00:44:46,607 --> 00:44:50,242
I OWN A YOGURTLAND
IN WEST HOLLYWOOD.
1073
00:44:50,244 --> 00:44:52,878
I'M KIDDING.
THIS IS MY REAL VOICE.
1074
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,715
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
1075
00:44:55,717 --> 00:44:57,683
YOU'RE FUNNY AND HOT,
1076
00:44:57,685 --> 00:45:00,119
AND YOU'RE NOT A PROSTITUTE
OR A STRIPPER.
1077
00:45:00,121 --> 00:45:03,623
OKAY... ARE YOU REAL?
1078
00:45:03,625 --> 00:45:06,992
WELL, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.
1079
00:45:06,994 --> 00:45:09,262
I'M KIDDING, I'M AN AUSSIE.
1080
00:46:15,697 --> 00:46:17,063
WAIT, I NEED A HUG,
I NEED A HUG.
1081
00:46:17,065 --> 00:46:19,032
YES, BRING IT IN!
1082
00:46:19,034 --> 00:46:20,599
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR THE TICKET.
1083
00:46:20,601 --> 00:46:22,101
OF COURSE, ALL RIGHT,
SEE YOU ON THE 23RD?
1084
00:46:22,103 --> 00:46:23,670
YEAH, JUST NEED
TO LOCK IT DOWN
1085
00:46:23,672 --> 00:46:24,737
- AND THEN WE'RE GOOD TO GO.
- AMAZING.
1086
00:46:24,739 --> 00:46:25,971
- ALL RIGHT.
- GET HOME SAFE.
1087
00:46:25,973 --> 00:46:27,206
- YOU BET.
- LOVE YA.
1088
00:46:27,208 --> 00:46:29,078
LOVE YA.
1089
00:46:48,128 --> 00:46:50,362
HEY, SO THAT DOOR
IS MY MOM'S DOOR.
1090
00:46:50,364 --> 00:46:52,364
COME IN THIS WAY.
YOU LOOK GREAT, BY THE WAY.
1091
00:46:52,366 --> 00:46:53,800
- THANKS.
- I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE DOOR,
1092
00:46:53,802 --> 00:46:56,034
I DON'T HAVE A MOM.
1093
00:47:11,252 --> 00:47:12,250
HELLO?
1094
00:47:12,252 --> 00:47:13,686
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
1095
00:47:13,688 --> 00:47:18,391
- I'M GOOD.
- SWEET.
1096
00:47:18,393 --> 00:47:20,092
- I'M SURPRISED...
- I WAS WONDERING...
1097
00:47:20,094 --> 00:47:22,695
UH, NO, YOU GO AHEAD.
1098
00:47:22,697 --> 00:47:25,764
I WAS JUST GONNA SAY THAT I'M
SURPRISED YOU'RE UP THIS EARLY.
1099
00:47:25,766 --> 00:47:29,001
- IT'S ALMOST NOON.
- TRUE, BUT YOU WERE OUT LATE, SO...
1100
00:47:29,003 --> 00:47:31,103
WELL, YOU AND I HAD A
LOT TO DRINK THE NIGHT BEFORE
1101
00:47:31,105 --> 00:47:33,773
SO I JUST TOOK IT
PRETTY EASY.
1102
00:47:33,775 --> 00:47:35,375
HOW WAS THE CONCERT?
1103
00:47:35,377 --> 00:47:37,876
IT WAS GOOD, YEAH.
WE LEFT A FEW SONGS EARLY
1104
00:47:37,878 --> 00:47:39,945
- JUST TO BEAT THE RUSH.
- I SEE.
1105
00:47:39,947 --> 00:47:42,047
- HOW'S THE ROOMMATE?
- WHAT?
1106
00:47:42,049 --> 00:47:44,317
YOUR ROOMMATE. WEREN'T YOU GUYS
SUPPOSED TO HANG OUT LAST NIGHT?
1107
00:47:44,319 --> 00:47:47,954
OH, YEAH, UM,
SHE BLEW ME OFF LAST SECOND.
1108
00:47:47,956 --> 00:47:49,422
OH, REALLY, YOU SHOULD HAVE
CALLED ME.
1109
00:47:49,424 --> 00:47:51,391
I WAS HOME BEFORE MIDNIGHT.
WE COULD HAVE HIT UP
1110
00:47:51,393 --> 00:47:56,195
THAT WEIRD BACKYARD CANTINA
FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF KARAOKE.
1111
00:47:56,197 --> 00:48:00,299
WELL, I WAS, UM...
I WAS WONDERING IF
1112
00:48:00,301 --> 00:48:04,737
YOU'D LIKE TO GO OUT ON A SUPER
ROMANTIC SECOND DATE TONIGHT.
1113
00:48:04,739 --> 00:48:06,806
- ABSOLUTELY NOT.
- WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
1114
00:48:06,808 --> 00:48:09,808
- YOU'RE SO WRONG!
- HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT SO DEFINITIVELY?
1115
00:48:09,810 --> 00:48:11,277
YOU HAVE AN INVERTED
TRACK PAD.
1116
00:48:11,279 --> 00:48:12,945
- DO NOT.
- YES, INVERTED IS AN OPPOSITE,
1117
00:48:12,947 --> 00:48:14,746
UPSIDE DOWN.
1118
00:48:14,748 --> 00:48:17,949
NO, IF YOU PUT YOUR FINGERS
ON A TRACK PAD, YOU PUSH UP.
1119
00:48:17,951 --> 00:48:20,018
LIKE, YOU'RE LITERALLY PUSHING
THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE
1120
00:48:20,020 --> 00:48:21,353
IN AN UPWARD DIRECTION.
1121
00:48:21,355 --> 00:48:23,121
WHEN I SLIDE MY FINGERS UP
IT MAKES SENSE
1122
00:48:23,123 --> 00:48:24,991
THAT THE PAGE WOULD MIRROR
THE UPWARD MOTION.
1123
00:48:24,993 --> 00:48:27,159
- THAT'S LOGIC, YES!
- NO, NO!
1124
00:48:27,161 --> 00:48:29,161
WHATEVER, YOU KNOW,
YOU CAN SLIDE YOUR FINGERS
1125
00:48:29,163 --> 00:48:30,429
WHEREVER YOU WANT,
I DON'T CARE.
1126
00:48:30,431 --> 00:48:31,998
CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT?
1127
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,902
UM, IF YOU USE
AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY.
1128
00:48:36,804 --> 00:48:39,007
MLA STYLE.
1129
00:48:57,225 --> 00:49:00,058
♪ SHAKE HANDS ALL AROUND ♪
1130
00:49:00,060 --> 00:49:02,027
♪ EVERYBODY WANTS TO FIGHT ♪
1131
00:49:02,029 --> 00:49:06,799
♪ AND YOU'RE THE PERFECT TARGET
FOR THIS NIGHT ♪
1132
00:49:06,801 --> 00:49:09,501
♪ YOU MONSTERS STAYED AT HOME ♪
1133
00:49:09,503 --> 00:49:12,904
♪ YOUR NERVES SHOUT,
YOU'RE ALONE ♪
1134
00:49:12,906 --> 00:49:16,241
♪ YOUR NERVES SHOUT,
YOU'RE ALONE ♪
1135
00:49:16,243 --> 00:49:19,011
♪ IT GOES ON AND ON ♪
1136
00:49:19,013 --> 00:49:22,014
♪ SUCCESS HAS BOUGHT A GUN ♪
1137
00:49:22,016 --> 00:49:24,052
♪ PICK UP THE TELEPHONE ♪
1138
00:49:25,487 --> 00:49:29,355
♪ YOU'VE FOUND THE BEST EXCUSE ♪
1139
00:49:29,357 --> 00:49:32,058
♪ IT HAS THE PERFECT USE ♪
1140
00:49:32,060 --> 00:49:34,927
♪ SO YOU WAIT FOR THE SUN ♪
1141
00:49:34,929 --> 00:49:36,996
♪ TO COME DOWN ♪
1142
00:49:36,998 --> 00:49:41,534
♪ SO YOU CAN FEEL
THE SATISFACTION ♪
1143
00:49:41,536 --> 00:49:44,003
♪ THE STRANGE REACTION
YOU CAUSE ♪
1144
00:49:44,005 --> 00:49:45,840
♪ WITH ALL YOUR TEARS ♪
1145
00:50:00,822 --> 00:50:03,556
♪ SHAKE HANDS ALL AROUND ♪
1146
00:50:03,558 --> 00:50:05,257
♪ I'M SURE YOU FOUND ♪
1147
00:50:05,259 --> 00:50:08,828
♪ A PERFECT
TARGET FOR THIS NIGHT ♪
1148
00:50:08,830 --> 00:50:13,132
♪ YOUR MONSTERS STAYED
AT HOME ♪
1149
00:50:13,134 --> 00:50:15,835
♪ IT GOES ON AND ON ♪
1150
00:50:15,837 --> 00:50:17,536
♪ SUCCESS HAS BOUGHT A GUN ♪
1151
00:50:17,538 --> 00:50:21,840
♪ PICK UP THE TELEPHONE ♪
1152
00:50:21,842 --> 00:50:23,543
♪ YOU FIND THE BEST EXCUSE ♪
1153
00:50:23,545 --> 00:50:28,480
♪ IT HAS A PERFECT USE ♪
1154
00:50:28,482 --> 00:50:33,386
♪ SO YOU WAIT FOR THE SUN
TO COME DOWN ♪
1155
00:50:33,388 --> 00:50:37,123
♪ SO YOU CAN FEEL... ♪
1156
00:50:37,125 --> 00:50:38,925
HI?
1157
00:50:38,927 --> 00:50:41,594
THAT'S THE FIRST NICE THING
YOU'VE EVER SAID TO ME.
1158
00:50:41,596 --> 00:50:43,128
DO I KNOW YOU?
1159
00:50:43,130 --> 00:50:46,065
"THE WAY YOU GLORIFY INFIDELITY
1160
00:50:46,067 --> 00:50:49,534
IS WHY CONGRESS BANNED
ADVERTISING CIGARETTES ON TV.
1161
00:50:49,536 --> 00:50:53,239
YOU ARE THE CANCER
OF DATING ADVICE."
1162
00:50:53,241 --> 00:50:55,141
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE
YOUR VOICE.
1163
00:50:55,143 --> 00:50:57,143
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE HATE, MAN?
1164
00:50:57,145 --> 00:50:58,543
HOW'D YOU EVEN FIND ME HERE?
1165
00:50:58,545 --> 00:51:01,848
YOU GEOTAG EVERY POST.
1166
00:51:01,850 --> 00:51:03,482
ARE YOU GONNA HURT ME?
1167
00:51:03,484 --> 00:51:04,983
YOU'RE COMING ON MY SHOW.
1168
00:51:04,985 --> 00:51:07,587
- WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
- MM-MM, WHY NOT?
1169
00:51:13,393 --> 00:51:16,596
TOMORROW NIGHT.
NUMBER'S ON THERE.
1170
00:51:16,598 --> 00:51:18,331
WHAT ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT?
1171
00:51:18,333 --> 00:51:21,333
I DON'T KNOW BUT YOU SEEM
TO HAVE A LOT TO SAY.
1172
00:51:21,335 --> 00:51:23,969
L.A. IS A MELTING POT
OF BROKEN EGOS
1173
00:51:23,971 --> 00:51:25,337
DRIPPING WITH INSECURITY,
1174
00:51:25,339 --> 00:51:27,273
ALWAYS LOOKING
FOR THE NEXT TRENDSETTER.
1175
00:51:27,275 --> 00:51:29,241
IT'S THE EPICENTER
OF ENTERTAINMENT
1176
00:51:29,243 --> 00:51:31,043
SENDING AFTERSHOCKS
OF CULTURE
1177
00:51:31,045 --> 00:51:32,411
THROUGHOUT
THE REST OF THE WORLD.
1178
00:51:32,413 --> 00:51:34,913
BUT IT'S THE VERY LACK
OF AN IDENTITY
1179
00:51:34,915 --> 00:51:37,016
THAT GIVES IT SUCH
A UNIQUE PERSONALITY.
1180
00:51:37,018 --> 00:51:39,886
IT TRULY IS A CITY
WHERE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE,
1181
00:51:39,888 --> 00:51:42,654
AND SELF-DISCOVERY
IS UNDENIABLY CELEBRATED.
1182
00:51:42,656 --> 00:51:45,358
AND OF COURSE,
THE MEXICAN FOOD
1183
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:49,527
IS DAMN NEAR PERFECT.
1184
00:51:49,529 --> 00:51:53,232
- IT'S A BIT DARK.
- COME ON!
1185
00:51:53,234 --> 00:51:54,933
THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT,
YOU KNOW?
1186
00:51:54,935 --> 00:51:57,503
LIKE, THE REASON I HATE IT
HERE IS THE SAME REASON
1187
00:51:57,505 --> 00:51:59,905
- I LOVE IT HERE.
- NO, I UNDERSTAND.
1188
00:51:59,907 --> 00:52:02,208
YOU UNDERSTAND BUT YOU HATE IT.
YOU HATE IT.
1189
00:52:02,210 --> 00:52:04,376
LOOK, I THINK YOU'RE
A FANTASTIC WRITER.
1190
00:52:04,378 --> 00:52:08,380
YOU'RE ARTICULATE,
YOU'RE FUNNY, YOU'RE ELOQUENT.
1191
00:52:08,382 --> 00:52:11,583
IT'S JUST... MOST PEOPLE
WHO READ A TRAVEL BLOG
1192
00:52:11,585 --> 00:52:13,585
DON'T WANT TO HEAR A PHILOSOPHICAL
ANALYSIS OF THE CULTURE.
1193
00:52:13,587 --> 00:52:15,487
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE NICHE.
1194
00:52:15,489 --> 00:52:17,956
THEY WANNA KNOW THE QUICKEST WAY
TO GET TO THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN,
1195
00:52:17,958 --> 00:52:20,558
WHERE TO BUY CHEAP COCKTAILS.
1196
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:22,295
HEY...
1197
00:52:22,297 --> 00:52:24,297
NO, NO, NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
1198
00:52:24,299 --> 00:52:26,232
THERE IS A REALLY GOOD CHANCE
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL
1199
00:52:26,234 --> 00:52:27,699
- I'M TALKING ABOUT.
- NO.
1200
00:52:27,701 --> 00:52:29,701
I ONLY READ TRAVEL BLOGS
TO FIND THE NEAREST ALLEYWAY
1201
00:52:29,703 --> 00:52:31,570
TO GET A HAND JOB.
1202
00:52:31,572 --> 00:52:34,407
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- NO, NOT SINCE GRINDR.
1203
00:52:34,409 --> 00:52:36,141
WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE GRINDR?
1204
00:52:36,143 --> 00:52:37,175
CRAIGSLIST.
1205
00:52:37,177 --> 00:52:39,512
OH, GROSS.
1206
00:52:39,514 --> 00:52:44,083
ARE PEOPLE IN SYDNEY MORE OPEN
THAN THEY ARE IN THE STATES?
1207
00:52:44,085 --> 00:52:46,152
NO, DEFINITELY NOT MORE
THAN L.A.
1208
00:52:46,154 --> 00:52:48,253
HM.
1209
00:52:48,255 --> 00:52:50,523
YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY
NEVER LEFT THE COUNTRY BEFORE?
1210
00:52:50,525 --> 00:52:52,724
A TRAVEL WRITER WHO HASN'T
LEFT THE COUNTRY?
1211
00:52:52,726 --> 00:52:55,728
YEAH, THE IRONY IS NOT
LOST ON ME, BELIEVE ME.
1212
00:52:55,730 --> 00:52:58,096
- DUDE!
- IT'S HARD WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE MONEY, YOU KNOW?
1213
00:52:58,098 --> 00:52:59,699
IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN ANSWER.
1214
00:52:59,701 --> 00:53:00,701
YEAH.
1215
00:53:03,705 --> 00:53:05,438
HEY, MAN.
1216
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:07,005
- GREGORY.
- HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
1217
00:53:07,007 --> 00:53:09,175
UH, YOU FREE SATURDAY?
1218
00:53:09,177 --> 00:53:11,309
UH, I THINK SO.
WHY?
1219
00:53:11,311 --> 00:53:13,079
I'M THROWING A PARTY
FOR STEF'S 30TH,
1220
00:53:13,081 --> 00:53:14,713
- YOU SHOULD COME.
- YEAH, YEAH, OKAY,
1221
00:53:14,715 --> 00:53:16,681
- IF I'M NOT WORKING.
- ALSO, SHOT IN THE DARK,
1222
00:53:16,683 --> 00:53:19,751
BUT DO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW ANYBODY
WITH A BIG HOUSE AND A POOL?
1223
00:53:19,753 --> 00:53:23,355
- UH, WHY?
- TO THROW THE SAID PARTY.
1224
00:53:23,357 --> 00:53:26,358
I CAN ASK AROUND,
BUT NO GUARANTEES.
1225
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:27,625
HAVE IT HERE.
1226
00:53:27,627 --> 00:53:29,228
I'M ALREADY HOSTING ONE
ON SATURDAY.
1227
00:53:29,230 --> 00:53:30,695
WHO'S THAT?
1228
00:53:30,697 --> 00:53:32,998
SOMEONE JUST OFFERING
THEIR HOUSE IN THE HILLS.
1229
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:34,599
- BE POLITE.
- WOW, SERIOUSLY?
1230
00:53:34,601 --> 00:53:38,503
- IS IT NICE?
- UH, YEAH, IT'S PRETTY NICE.
1231
00:53:38,505 --> 00:53:41,639
- THERE'S ONLY ONE CATCH.
- HERE.
1232
00:53:41,641 --> 00:53:43,641
- YELLO.
- HELLO?
1233
00:53:43,643 --> 00:53:46,145
SO THE ONLY CATCH IS
IT'S A CYNDI LAUPER-FEST.
1234
00:53:46,147 --> 00:53:48,780
SPECIFICALLY CYNDI LAUPER?
1235
00:53:48,782 --> 00:53:51,516
- I'LL ALLOW ANYTHING '80S.
- DONE.
1236
00:53:51,518 --> 00:53:53,418
- THERE YOU, OKAY?
- WHO WAS THAT?
1237
00:53:53,420 --> 00:53:55,186
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!
1238
00:53:55,188 --> 00:53:57,088
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SOUND
LIKE YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING?
1239
00:53:57,090 --> 00:53:59,125
I'M NOT UP TO ANYTHING, OKAY?
1240
00:53:59,127 --> 00:54:01,027
OH... YOU GUYS ARE HOOKING UP.
1241
00:54:01,029 --> 00:54:05,398
- NO, ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING.
- GREGORY. GRE...
1242
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:07,099
WE LOCKED THE HOUSE.
1243
00:54:07,101 --> 00:54:09,034
OH, MY GOD. DO YOU THINK
I SHOULD GET, LIKE, A DJ,
1244
00:54:09,036 --> 00:54:12,070
OR SHOULD I JUST PLAY, LIKE,
MUSIC FROM MY IPOD?
1245
00:54:12,072 --> 00:54:14,540
WHAT KIND OF PARTY IS IT?
1246
00:54:14,542 --> 00:54:16,509
I DON'T KNOW, HE SAID
SOMETHING ABOUT CYNDI LAUPER.
1247
00:54:16,511 --> 00:54:19,311
NO, I MEAN IS IT
MORE LIKE A LAID BACK
1248
00:54:19,313 --> 00:54:21,146
CHILLING WITH FRIENDS VIBE?
1249
00:54:21,148 --> 00:54:25,250
OR MORE OF A CRAZY,
LOUD, DANCE PARTY THING?
1250
00:54:25,252 --> 00:54:27,786
I MEAN, IT DEPENDS ON
WHAT YOU CONSIDER LAID BACK.
1251
00:54:27,788 --> 00:54:30,288
WHERE I'M FROM IT'S FIVE DEGREES
OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW.
1252
00:54:30,290 --> 00:54:33,224
TO ME, EVERYTHING OUT HERE
IS LAID BACK.
1253
00:54:33,226 --> 00:54:35,761
YOU'RE NOT MUCH
OF A PARTIER?
1254
00:54:35,763 --> 00:54:38,563
NO, IT'S NOT THAT,
IT'S JUST, I'M NOT TOO KEEN
1255
00:54:38,565 --> 00:54:41,266
ON THE IDEA OF, LIKE,
DRUNK FRAT GUYS
1256
00:54:41,268 --> 00:54:43,735
JUMPING INTO POOLS AND DOING
LINES OF COCAINE, SO...
1257
00:54:43,737 --> 00:54:45,471
WELL, MOST PEOPLE ARE GOING
TO BE IN THEIR 30S.
1258
00:54:45,473 --> 00:54:48,541
I DOUBT IT'S GONNA BE
SOME RAUCOUS ANIMAL HOUSE.
1259
00:54:48,543 --> 00:54:51,610
- YOU GO.
- AS IN WITHOUT YOU? I CAN'T DO THAT.
1260
00:54:51,612 --> 00:54:53,279
I JUST... I DON'T WANT TO
RUIN YOUR TIME
1261
00:54:53,281 --> 00:54:54,746
AND IT'S REALLY NOT MY SCENE.
1262
00:54:54,748 --> 00:54:57,416
NO, NO, I'M NOT GONNA HAVE
A GOOD TIME IF YOU DON'T GO.
1263
00:54:57,418 --> 00:54:59,384
LOOK, WE'LL JUST STOP BY
FOR, LIKE, A DRINK
1264
00:54:59,386 --> 00:55:01,487
AND THEN...
WE'LL STEP INTO THE POOL.
1265
00:55:01,489 --> 00:55:04,757
I'LL EVEN HIRE A LIFEGUARD
SO PEOPLE DON'T JUMP IN.
1266
00:55:04,759 --> 00:55:06,558
LOOK, IF IT WEREN'T
STEF'S BIRTHDAY
1267
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:08,393
THEN I WOULDN'T EVEN
WANT TO GO.
1268
00:55:08,395 --> 00:55:10,161
I'D WANT TO STAY AT HOME
WITH YOU
1269
00:55:10,163 --> 00:55:13,099
AND BAKE NÉSTLE TOLL HOUSE
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES,
1270
00:55:13,101 --> 00:55:15,733
WATCH A MOVIE,
AND CUDDLE UNDER A BLANKET.
1271
00:55:15,735 --> 00:55:18,670
BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST
THAT I PROMISED HER
1272
00:55:18,672 --> 00:55:20,438
LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO
THAT I WOULD DO THIS
1273
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,574
AND I'VE ALREADY SPENT
SO MUCH TIME INVITING EVERYBODY.
1274
00:55:22,576 --> 00:55:26,411
I CAN'T NOT GO, IT'D BE
MAD AWKWARD AT THIS POINT.
1275
00:55:26,413 --> 00:55:29,248
SO YOU GUYS ARE, LIKE,
REALLY CLOSE, HUH?
1276
00:55:29,250 --> 00:55:33,585
I MEAN, SHE'S THE ONLY FRIEND
I HAVE THAT LIKES TO GO OUT.
1277
00:55:33,587 --> 00:55:36,521
WHERE DOES ALL THIS ENERGY
COME FROM?
1278
00:55:36,523 --> 00:55:38,290
- THIS? THIS ENERGY?
- YEAH...
1279
00:55:38,292 --> 00:55:40,625
- IS IT TOO MUCH?
- SOMETIMES.
1280
00:55:40,627 --> 00:55:42,228
YOU SEE THIS NOSE?
1281
00:55:42,230 --> 00:55:44,797
SEE HOW IT'S NOT NORMAL?
1282
00:55:44,799 --> 00:55:47,565
- NO.
- WELL, WHEN I WAS SIX,
1283
00:55:47,567 --> 00:55:50,335
I RAN FACE FIRST
INTO A BRICK FIREPLACE
1284
00:55:50,337 --> 00:55:51,770
AFTER HAVING A PIXIE STICK.
1285
00:55:51,772 --> 00:55:53,471
I WAS A VERY HYPERACTIVE CHILD.
1286
00:55:53,473 --> 00:55:54,840
GOT IT.
1287
00:55:54,842 --> 00:55:56,741
I'M HAPPY HE FOUND SOMEONE.
1288
00:55:56,743 --> 00:55:58,543
ME TOO.
1289
00:55:58,545 --> 00:56:01,313
THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER
FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS EVERY DAY.
1290
00:56:01,315 --> 00:56:02,514
THEY'RE LIVING OUR FANTASY.
1291
00:56:02,516 --> 00:56:04,782
HE DESERVES IT.
1292
00:56:04,784 --> 00:56:06,585
I'M JUST HAPPY I HAVE YOU.
1293
00:56:06,587 --> 00:56:08,253
THAT REMINDS ME, ACTUALLY,
1294
00:56:08,255 --> 00:56:10,655
I DIDN'T GET YOUR FLIGHT
ITINERARY,
1295
00:56:10,657 --> 00:56:12,291
SO I WAS WONDERING,
I DON'T KNOW,
1296
00:56:12,293 --> 00:56:13,925
MAYBE IT WENT TO SPAM, OR...
1297
00:56:13,927 --> 00:56:16,762
I WAS GONNA TELL YOU,
THERE'S BEEN A MINOR CHANGE.
1298
00:56:16,764 --> 00:56:19,431
IN TIME?
1299
00:56:19,433 --> 00:56:21,500
MORE LIKE DAY?
1300
00:56:21,502 --> 00:56:23,802
ARE WE OKAY, SOPHIE?
1301
00:56:23,804 --> 00:56:26,739
I ONLY ASK, I MEAN,
I'M NOT TRYING TO BE NEEDY OR ANYTHING,
1302
00:56:26,741 --> 00:56:29,175
IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE
A TENDENCY TO OVERTHINK THINGS
1303
00:56:29,177 --> 00:56:30,942
AND MAYBE THAT WAS A MOMENT
THAT I OVERTHOUGHT,
1304
00:56:30,944 --> 00:56:34,413
AND I JUST... I DON'T
WANT TO SCARE YOU OFF.
1305
00:56:34,415 --> 00:56:36,382
I REALLY...
1306
00:56:36,384 --> 00:56:38,887
WAIT...
1307
00:56:41,221 --> 00:56:44,290
I LOVE YOU, TOO, DAVEY.
1308
00:56:44,292 --> 00:56:48,395
I'M SORRY I DIDN'T SAY IT
SOONER, I JUST FROZE.
1309
00:56:53,301 --> 00:56:56,634
♪ I CAN WAIT,
I CAN WAIT BUT PLEASE ♪
1310
00:56:56,636 --> 00:56:57,936
♪ DON'T WASTE MY TIME ♪
1311
00:56:57,938 --> 00:57:00,672
♪ DON'T THROW AWAY THE KEY ♪
1312
00:57:00,674 --> 00:57:01,840
♪ I LIKE IT HERE... ♪
1313
00:57:06,413 --> 00:57:08,980
UGH. YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?
COME ON.
1314
00:57:12,953 --> 00:57:13,985
HELLO?
1315
00:57:15,489 --> 00:57:17,592
HI, YES, THE KEY
IS IN THE MAILBOX.
1316
00:57:19,627 --> 00:57:21,326
THE ONLY MAILBOX.
1317
00:57:21,328 --> 00:57:24,829
THE BLACK MAILBOX
ON THE FRONT PORCH.
1318
00:57:24,831 --> 00:57:26,665
YES, I CAN BE THERE
IN 15 MINUTES.
1319
00:57:26,667 --> 00:57:28,967
EMMA, DO WE STILL
HAVE THAT BOTTLE OF WINE,
1320
00:57:28,969 --> 00:57:30,936
THE REALLY OLD ONE
THAT'S BASICALLY VINEGAR NOW?
1321
00:57:30,938 --> 00:57:33,572
UH, YES, AGAIN,
I'M SO, SO SORRY.
1322
00:57:33,574 --> 00:57:35,814
I WILL GET THERE AS SOON
AS I CAN, JUST HOLD TIGHT, OKAY?
1323
00:57:36,743 --> 00:57:38,710
OKAY, BYE.
1324
00:57:38,712 --> 00:57:40,378
YEAH, IT'S IN THE FRIDGE
SOMEWHERE, WHY?
1325
00:57:40,380 --> 00:57:41,413
I'M HAVING COMPANY TONIGHT.
1326
00:57:41,415 --> 00:57:42,848
NOT THE INTERNET TROLL.
1327
00:57:42,850 --> 00:57:45,384
YEAH. EITHER HE CAN
PLAY NICE,
1328
00:57:45,386 --> 00:57:47,920
AND HE GET DOWN
ON THIS 2013 RED BORDEAUX
1329
00:57:47,922 --> 00:57:49,587
I BOUGHT FOR MY DATE
WITH RON,
1330
00:57:49,589 --> 00:57:51,422
OR, IF HE'S A DICK,
1331
00:57:51,424 --> 00:57:52,925
THEN HE GETS
THAT VINEGAR WINE SWILL.
1332
00:57:52,927 --> 00:57:54,396
THE CHOICE IS HIS.
1333
00:57:55,962 --> 00:57:57,529
WOW.
1334
00:57:57,531 --> 00:58:00,032
I LIKE THE SWEATER, BY THE WAY.
VERY MR. ROGERS.
1335
00:58:00,034 --> 00:58:01,467
MY GIRLFRIEND GAVE IT TO ME.
1336
00:58:01,469 --> 00:58:04,003
CUTE. ALL RIGHT,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
1337
00:58:04,005 --> 00:58:07,373
I AM HERE
WITH @ABRAHAMROSEN,
1338
00:58:07,375 --> 00:58:09,775
A FOODIE AND INTERNET TROLL.
1339
00:58:09,777 --> 00:58:14,445
NOW, ABE, ON MY LAST POST,
YOU COMMENTED, AND I QUOTE,
1340
00:58:14,447 --> 00:58:16,982
"YOUR FORAY INTO OPEN LOVE
1341
00:58:16,984 --> 00:58:19,351
IS AS DOOMED AS
THE 'LOST' FINALE."
1342
00:58:19,353 --> 00:58:23,454
NOW, I'M AN ADULT,
AND I CAN TAKE A JOKE,
1343
00:58:23,456 --> 00:58:27,358
EVEN SOME CRITICISM,
BUT THIS IS JUST ONE OF SEVERAL,
1344
00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:31,563
SEVERAL ATTACKS ON ME.
1345
00:58:31,565 --> 00:58:33,331
YOU DON'T WANT TO ADMIT
YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?
1346
00:58:33,333 --> 00:58:34,500
I HAVE A PROBLEM?
1347
00:58:34,502 --> 00:58:36,000
I MEAN, MOST PEOPLE DO,
1348
00:58:36,002 --> 00:58:37,603
YOU'RE JUST VERY PUBLIC
ABOUT IT.
1349
00:58:37,605 --> 00:58:40,572
WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?
1350
00:58:40,574 --> 00:58:41,940
YOU CAN'T COMMIT.
1351
00:58:41,942 --> 00:58:43,808
INSTEAD OF WORKING ON THAT,
1352
00:58:43,810 --> 00:58:46,779
YOU CAME UP WITH A VERY
EASY WAY TO JUSTIFY IT.
1353
00:58:46,781 --> 00:58:50,648
DUDE, I NEVER SAID POLY
WAS FOR EVERYONE, OKAY?
1354
00:58:50,650 --> 00:58:52,851
THE SAME WAY THAT YOU CAN LOVE
MORE THAN ONE BOOK,
1355
00:58:52,853 --> 00:58:56,454
OR ONE MOVIE, I CAN LOVE
MORE THAN ONE PERSON.
1356
00:58:56,456 --> 00:58:57,889
I MEAN, THAT'S THE PROBLEM
WITH YOUR SHOW RIGHT THERE.
1357
00:58:57,891 --> 00:59:00,425
YOU JUST COMPARED LOVE
AND HUMAN CONNECTION
1358
00:59:00,427 --> 00:59:01,860
TO FORMS OF ENTERTAINMENT.
1359
00:59:01,862 --> 00:59:03,895
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT HUMAN CONNECTION?
1360
00:59:03,897 --> 00:59:05,663
YOU HIDE BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER.
1361
00:59:05,665 --> 00:59:07,599
YOU'RE THE ONE WITH AN AUDIENCE
1362
00:59:07,601 --> 00:59:11,737
AND YOU MAKE INFIDELITY SOUND
LIKE A NATURAL, NORMAL THING.
1363
00:59:11,739 --> 00:59:13,938
GUESS WHAT, BUDDY?
YOUR LAST COMMENT
1364
00:59:13,940 --> 00:59:17,576
GOT OVER 800 LIKES,
SO LIKE IT OR NOT,
1365
00:59:17,578 --> 00:59:20,681
YOU ALSO HAVE AN AUDIENCE.
1366
00:59:23,683 --> 00:59:27,353
LOOK, INFIDELITY IS WRONG.
1367
00:59:27,355 --> 00:59:29,688
WE CAN BOTH AGREE ON THAT,
RIGHT?
1368
00:59:29,690 --> 00:59:33,425
BUT CHEATING ON SOMEONE
AND LOVING MULTIPLE PARTNERS
1369
00:59:33,427 --> 00:59:35,460
ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.
1370
00:59:35,462 --> 00:59:37,596
BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST
NOT SPREADING YOUR LOVE THIN?
1371
00:59:37,598 --> 00:59:41,699
HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU CAN
MEASURE LOVE?
1372
00:59:41,701 --> 00:59:45,406
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE FINALLY
PENETRATING EACH OTHER.
1373
00:59:55,583 --> 00:59:58,817
SORRY! I'M SORRY.
IT'S STILL LOCKED?
1374
00:59:58,819 --> 01:00:02,387
NO, I'VE BEEN VOLUNTARILY
SITTING OUTSIDE FOR TWO HOURS.
1375
01:00:02,389 --> 01:00:04,723
OKAY, I APOLOGIZE.
I'M GONNA GET A KEY MADE FOR YOU
1376
01:00:04,725 --> 01:00:07,092
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING,
OKAY?
1377
01:00:10,598 --> 01:00:12,096
- HELLO.
- EMMA.
1378
01:00:12,098 --> 01:00:13,398
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
1379
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:14,967
HAVE YOU LEFT YET?
1380
01:00:14,969 --> 01:00:18,404
UH, NO, I ACTUALLY HAD
A WORK EMERGENCY, SO...
1381
01:00:18,406 --> 01:00:20,973
OH, NO, UM,
CAN I ASK YOU A FAVOR?
1382
01:00:20,975 --> 01:00:22,741
OKAY.
1383
01:00:22,743 --> 01:00:24,076
IF YOU CAN'T DO IT,
NO WORRIES,
1384
01:00:24,078 --> 01:00:25,610
I'LL ASK SOMEBODY ELSE,
NOT A BIG DEAL.
1385
01:00:25,612 --> 01:00:27,579
JUST LET ME KNOW
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.
1386
01:00:27,581 --> 01:00:30,983
- WHAT?
- YEAH, THERE SHOULD BE SOME IN THE KITCHEN.
1387
01:00:30,985 --> 01:00:32,483
HELP YOURSELF.
1388
01:00:32,485 --> 01:00:35,119
- YOU GOT A...
- UH, WE SHOULD HAVE ONE.
1389
01:00:35,121 --> 01:00:37,723
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL FIND IT.
I'LL BRING IT TO YOUR ROOM.
1390
01:00:37,725 --> 01:00:41,159
- SORRY...
- OH, I'M GONNA HAVE SOME GUESTS, ONE OR TWO,
1391
01:00:41,161 --> 01:00:44,429
- IF THAT'S OKAY.
- THAT'S ACTUALLY 10 EXTRA DOLLARS
1392
01:00:44,431 --> 01:00:46,165
- FOR EXTRA GUESTS, SORRY.
- OH, YEAH, SURE, SURE, SURE, YEAH,
1393
01:00:46,167 --> 01:00:47,433
LET'S SEE, UH...
1394
01:00:47,435 --> 01:00:48,634
- REALLY? REALLY?
- YOU LOVE IT.
1395
01:00:48,636 --> 01:00:49,668
YEAH, YEAH, I LOVE IT.
1396
01:00:49,670 --> 01:00:52,637
HI, UH, SORRY, SORRY.
1397
01:00:52,639 --> 01:00:53,971
WHAT'S UP?
1398
01:00:53,973 --> 01:00:56,175
SO, APPARENTLY,
THE PIÑATA THAT I ORDERED
1399
01:00:56,177 --> 01:00:57,875
HAS A MASSIVE CRACK IN IT
1400
01:00:57,877 --> 01:01:00,913
AND UPON FURTHER INVESTIGATION,
ALL THE CANDY INSIDE
1401
01:01:00,915 --> 01:01:04,148
IS NUT-BASED, WHICH STEF
IS DEFINITELY ALLERGIC TO
1402
01:01:04,150 --> 01:01:05,784
SO I ORDERED A LAST-MINUTE
ONE FROM THE STORE.
1403
01:01:05,786 --> 01:01:07,786
I JUST NEED SOMEBODY
TO PICK IT UP.
1404
01:01:07,788 --> 01:01:11,456
- YEAH, I CAN DO THAT.
- AND IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,
1405
01:01:11,458 --> 01:01:13,090
IT'S ACROSS THE STREET
FROM YOUR HOUSE IN HOLLYWOOD
1406
01:01:13,092 --> 01:01:14,793
- SO HOPEFULLY...
- YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW WHERE IT IS.
1407
01:01:14,795 --> 01:01:17,529
I'M ACTUALLY THERE
RIGHT NOW, SO THAT WORKS.
1408
01:01:17,531 --> 01:01:18,596
YOU'RE AMAZING, THANK YOU.
1409
01:01:18,598 --> 01:01:19,898
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
1410
01:01:19,900 --> 01:01:22,570
LIKEWISE, I'LL, UH,
SEE YOU SOON.
1411
01:01:25,038 --> 01:01:26,038
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
CHEATED ON?
1412
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:27,773
BY?
1413
01:01:27,775 --> 01:01:30,541
I ASSUME FROM YOUR UNINFORMED
AVERSION TO POLYAMORY
1414
01:01:30,543 --> 01:01:32,580
THAT YOU'VE HAD A RUN IN
WITH INFIDELITY?
1415
01:01:37,750 --> 01:01:41,152
IF IT'S A PODCAST, YOU HAVE TO
ACTUALLY ANSWER INTO THE...
1416
01:01:41,154 --> 01:01:43,621
YEAH, YEAH...
1417
01:01:43,623 --> 01:01:46,123
I'M SORRY.
SO WHAT MADE YOU COME HERE?
1418
01:01:46,125 --> 01:01:48,726
YOU MEAN BESIDES THE FACT
THAT YOU KIND OF STALKED ME?
1419
01:01:48,728 --> 01:01:50,728
THAT'S THE INVESTIGATIVE
JOURNALIST IN ME,
1420
01:01:50,730 --> 01:01:52,797
AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH
STALKERS OF MY OWN
1421
01:01:52,799 --> 01:01:56,134
THAT I KNOW HOW TO REVERSE
ENGINEER THE WHOLE PROCESS.
1422
01:01:57,804 --> 01:01:59,670
DID I JUST MAKE YOU LAUGH?
1423
01:01:59,672 --> 01:02:05,677
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN,
I JUST MADE ABE ROSEN LAUGH!
1424
01:02:05,679 --> 01:02:07,512
LOOK, I KNOW YOU WERE
JUDGING ME BEFORE
1425
01:02:07,514 --> 01:02:10,581
BY THE INFORMATION
THAT I CHOOSE TO PUT OUT THERE
1426
01:02:10,583 --> 01:02:14,585
TO MY LISTENERS,
AND YOU WANTED TO...
1427
01:02:14,587 --> 01:02:16,255
DRIVE A SPEAR THROUGH
MY SKULL.
1428
01:02:16,257 --> 01:02:18,590
BUT, NOW THAT WE'VE MET,
1429
01:02:18,592 --> 01:02:21,527
AM I REALLY THE ANTICHRIST
THAT YOU ENVISIONED?
1430
01:02:21,529 --> 01:02:22,927
YOU WOULD MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU.
1431
01:02:22,929 --> 01:02:25,264
- BITCH, IT'S MY PODCAST.
- FAIR ENOUGH.
1432
01:02:25,266 --> 01:02:28,300
LOOK, THIS IS ALL ABOUT
A CHANGE IN PERSPECTIVE.
1433
01:02:28,302 --> 01:02:29,934
AT LEAST YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU WANT.
1434
01:02:29,936 --> 01:02:32,804
THERE'S NOTHING SEXIER
THAN A CONFIDENT MAN
1435
01:02:32,806 --> 01:02:34,239
THAT KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS.
1436
01:02:34,241 --> 01:02:36,741
I KNOW I DON'T WANT
THIS SWEATER ANYMORE.
1437
01:02:36,743 --> 01:02:39,710
IT IS GROSS.
1438
01:02:39,712 --> 01:02:41,248
YOU KNOW WHAT?
SCREW IT.
1439
01:02:44,752 --> 01:02:48,223
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
ABE IS DISROBING?
1440
01:02:51,859 --> 01:02:54,127
- FEEL BETTER?
- I DO.
1441
01:03:01,335 --> 01:03:03,668
HEY!
1442
01:03:03,670 --> 01:03:05,871
OH, COME ON, I'M LEAVING,
I'M LEAVING RIGHT THIS SECOND, I SWEAR.
1443
01:03:05,873 --> 01:03:07,306
YOU'RE PARKED
IN A LOADING ZONE.
1444
01:03:07,308 --> 01:03:09,574
WHAT, DO YOU WORK
ALL OF SILVERLAKE OR SOMETHING?
1445
01:03:09,576 --> 01:03:11,275
WE HAVE A LOT OF OFFICERS
ON DUTY.
1446
01:03:11,277 --> 01:03:13,945
LOOK, I WAS JUST GOING IN
TO PICK SOMETHING UP, OKAY?
1447
01:03:13,947 --> 01:03:16,315
I'M GONNA LEAVE RIGHT
THIS SECOND, I SWEAR.
1448
01:03:16,317 --> 01:03:18,951
COME ON. NOW IS JUST NOT
JUST A GOOD TIME FOR ME.
1449
01:03:18,953 --> 01:03:21,052
I CAN BARELY AFFORD THE TICKET
YOU GAVE ME LAST TIME...
1450
01:03:21,054 --> 01:03:23,721
OKAY, OKAY!
1451
01:03:23,723 --> 01:03:25,090
REALLY?
1452
01:03:25,092 --> 01:03:27,659
DO ME A FAVOR.
PUT YOURSELF IN MY POSITION.
1453
01:03:27,661 --> 01:03:29,226
YOU'VE BEEN ON THIS JOB
20 YEARS.
1454
01:03:29,228 --> 01:03:31,063
PEOPLE ALWAYS CURSING
IN YOUR FACE,
1455
01:03:31,065 --> 01:03:32,764
THREATENING THE SAFETY
OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
1456
01:03:32,766 --> 01:03:35,366
DO YOU THINK THAT PRIMES
YOUR MOOD TO GIVE OUT FAVORS?
1457
01:03:35,368 --> 01:03:37,369
NO, DEFINITELY NOT.
1458
01:03:37,371 --> 01:03:40,005
THEN HOPEFULLY NEXT TIME YOU
WON'T THINK OF ME AND MY PEOPLE
1459
01:03:40,007 --> 01:03:42,007
AS SOME SORT OF
ARCHETYPAL MONSTER.
1460
01:03:42,009 --> 01:03:44,241
I AM A WELL-SPOKEN MAN.
I HAVE FEELINGS
1461
01:03:44,243 --> 01:03:46,078
AND A SENSE OF HUMOR.
1462
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:49,614
YES, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
UNDERSTANDING, SERIOUSLY.
1463
01:03:49,616 --> 01:03:50,849
WELL, YOU'VE BEEN HERE
SIX MINUTES
1464
01:03:50,851 --> 01:03:52,650
SO I HAVE TO GIVE YOU
THIS TICKET.
1465
01:03:52,652 --> 01:03:55,152
WHAT? I WAS STANDING HERE
TALKING TO YOU, YOU PSYCHO!
1466
01:03:55,154 --> 01:03:56,621
ARE YOU
FREAKING SERIOUS?
1467
01:03:56,623 --> 01:03:58,357
NO WONDER PEOPLE
THREATEN YOUR FAMILY.
1468
01:03:58,359 --> 01:04:02,027
I'M JOKING. I WAS DEMONSTRATING
MY SENSE OF HUMOR.
1469
01:04:02,029 --> 01:04:05,600
OH...
I'LL MOVE.
1470
01:04:07,900 --> 01:04:09,770
GOD, I HATE THAT LITTLE BITCH.
1471
01:04:17,744 --> 01:04:22,047
♪ TURN IT UP,
SO EVERYBODY KNOWS ♪
1472
01:04:22,049 --> 01:04:23,915
♪ THAT I GOT THE GOOD THING ♪
1473
01:04:23,917 --> 01:04:25,317
♪ I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT GOES ♪
1474
01:04:25,319 --> 01:04:28,286
SERIOUSLY, I AM OFF
OF ALKALINE WATER.
1475
01:04:28,288 --> 01:04:30,422
I HAD A BAD TRIP LAST TIME
I DRANK IT.
1476
01:04:30,424 --> 01:04:31,956
HOW DO YOU REGULATE
YOUR PH?
1477
01:04:31,958 --> 01:04:32,958
I'VE TOTALLY
DONE WITHOUT CAFFEINE,
1478
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:34,726
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF
1479
01:04:34,728 --> 01:04:36,228
MY GRASS-FED BUTTER COFFEE
REGIMEN, OF COURSE.
1480
01:04:36,230 --> 01:04:37,728
- OF COURSE.
- NATURALLY.
1481
01:04:37,730 --> 01:04:39,730
SOMETIMES, THEY ADD
AN EXTRA SYLLABLE.
1482
01:04:39,732 --> 01:04:43,402
LIKE, INSTEAD OF "GIRL,"
THEY'D SAY "GETAL."
1483
01:04:43,404 --> 01:04:45,404
INSTEAD OF "PEARL,"
THEY SAY "PETAL."
1484
01:04:45,406 --> 01:04:47,905
"I GAVE THE GETAL A PETAL."
1485
01:04:47,907 --> 01:04:50,976
- WHAT ABOUT JAPANESE?
- OOH, BRO, IT'S HARD TO DO AN ASIAN ACCENT
1486
01:04:50,978 --> 01:04:52,411
WITHOUT COMING OFF
AS A RACIST.
1487
01:04:52,413 --> 01:04:53,945
YEAH, PLEASE DON'T DO IT.
DON'T DO IT.
1488
01:04:53,947 --> 01:04:56,380
I MEAN, BRITISH, OKAY.
ENGLISH, GREAT.
1489
01:04:56,382 --> 01:04:59,284
I COULD EVEN DO A YIDDISH RABBI.
1490
01:04:59,286 --> 01:05:02,087
JAPANESE, I'M A BIGOT.
1491
01:05:02,089 --> 01:05:03,721
THIS IS GREAT PARTY.
1492
01:05:03,723 --> 01:05:06,157
FULL OF LOTS OF STRAIGHT
WHITE PEOPLE.
1493
01:05:06,159 --> 01:05:07,958
- OH, NO! NO...
- I FEEL LIKE I JUST MISSED THE SHOW.
1494
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:09,293
- HI.
- PERFECT TIMING.
1495
01:05:09,295 --> 01:05:10,996
NO, HE'S MAKING AN ASS
OUT OF HIMSELF.
1496
01:05:10,998 --> 01:05:12,931
EVERYBODY, THE BIRTHDAY GIRL
HAS "ARRIVEN."
1497
01:05:12,933 --> 01:05:15,099
HEY! BIRTHDAY GIRL!
WELCOME!
1498
01:05:15,101 --> 01:05:16,934
- THANK YOU!
- TELL HER HOW YOUNG SHE LOOKS
1499
01:05:16,936 --> 01:05:18,804
AND FIND HER A CUTE GUY
TO TALK TO.
1500
01:05:18,806 --> 01:05:19,804
DOES HE HAVE TO BE STRAIGHT?
1501
01:05:19,806 --> 01:05:21,706
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
1502
01:05:42,161 --> 01:05:44,362
- I AM SO SORRY!
- IT'S OKAY...
1503
01:05:44,364 --> 01:05:47,101
- YOU WANT ME TO...
- NO, IT'S FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S OKAY.
1504
01:05:54,273 --> 01:05:57,041
- GUESS WHO?
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
1505
01:05:57,043 --> 01:06:00,746
DANG, YOU'RE DOING WORK
IN THAT BODYSUIT.
1506
01:06:00,748 --> 01:06:02,146
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
1507
01:06:02,148 --> 01:06:04,282
YOU KNOW, JUST ANOTHER DAY
AT THE SALT MINES.
1508
01:06:04,284 --> 01:06:05,349
BUT NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE,
1509
01:06:05,351 --> 01:06:07,085
I MIGHT HAVE TO CLOCK OUT.
1510
01:06:07,087 --> 01:06:10,355
HOLY SHIT, I JUST REALIZED
THIS IS AN '80S PARTY.
1511
01:06:10,357 --> 01:06:14,860
HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.
1512
01:06:14,862 --> 01:06:16,460
THAT'S... SOMETHING.
1513
01:06:16,462 --> 01:06:20,065
YEAH. HEY, HOW CRAZY IS THAT
WE RAN INTO EACH OTHER HERE?
1514
01:06:20,067 --> 01:06:21,366
I MEAN, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?
1515
01:06:21,368 --> 01:06:24,335
TOTALLY LIKE SERENITY,
YOU KNOW?
1516
01:06:24,337 --> 01:06:25,337
YOU WANNA DO A SHOT?
1517
01:06:25,339 --> 01:06:27,304
YEAH. YES, I DO.
1518
01:06:27,306 --> 01:06:28,773
ALL RIGHT,
TELL ME WHAT IT IS.
1519
01:06:28,775 --> 01:06:29,940
WELL,
HOPEFULLY SHE'S HERE SOON,
1520
01:06:29,942 --> 01:06:31,208
I CALLED HER LIKE
AN HOUR AGO.
1521
01:06:31,210 --> 01:06:33,177
- GIVE ME A HINT.
- ALL RIGHT,
1522
01:06:33,179 --> 01:06:35,380
IT'S SOMETHING YOU'RE GONNA
WANT TO PUNCH
1523
01:06:35,382 --> 01:06:37,349
AND IT'S MEXICAN.
1524
01:06:37,351 --> 01:06:39,951
- GEORGE LOPEZ?
- YES!
1525
01:06:39,953 --> 01:06:42,186
- UH, FLIP CUP.
- FLIP CUP?
1526
01:06:44,223 --> 01:06:46,858
WHOA, YOU TAKE NO PRISONERS.
1527
01:06:46,860 --> 01:06:48,196
- HERE.
- OKAY.
1528
01:07:01,975 --> 01:07:04,509
HEY. I HAVE SOME OF THAT
BLUE SHIT IN MY BACKPACK IF...
1529
01:07:04,511 --> 01:07:06,177
LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE
CONDESCENDING,
1530
01:07:06,179 --> 01:07:08,579
BUT THAT BLUE SHIT
IS ACTUALLY BLUE CURACAO,
1531
01:07:08,581 --> 01:07:10,982
WHICH IS NOT A LIQUOR,
IT'S A LIQUEUR
1532
01:07:10,984 --> 01:07:12,284
WHICH IS DIFFERENT.
1533
01:07:12,286 --> 01:07:13,884
LIQUOR AND LIQUEUR
ARE NOT THE SAME THING.
1534
01:07:13,886 --> 01:07:15,587
OKAY, WELL, WHATEVER IT IS,
1535
01:07:15,589 --> 01:07:17,588
IT DEFINITELY MAKES ME FEEL
ADEQUATELY INTOXICATED.
1536
01:07:17,590 --> 01:07:19,291
YEAH, I LIKE YOU
FOR SEEING IT THAT WAY.
1537
01:07:19,293 --> 01:07:20,391
COME ON, LET'S GO OUTSIDE.
1538
01:07:20,393 --> 01:07:22,828
COME ON, GIRL. COME ON,
1539
01:07:22,830 --> 01:07:24,161
MAKE ME PROUD.
COME ON, GIRL.
1540
01:07:24,163 --> 01:07:26,297
- OH!
- OH! WHAT!
1541
01:07:26,299 --> 01:07:27,398
OH, MY GOD!
1542
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:28,766
I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE,
1543
01:07:28,768 --> 01:07:30,902
YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST GONNA START
GOING UP TO RANDOS AND JUST LIKE...
1544
01:07:30,904 --> 01:07:33,505
EMMA! HEY! HEY.
1545
01:07:33,507 --> 01:07:36,041
OH, MY GOD, ADAM.
1546
01:07:36,043 --> 01:07:37,108
UM, I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO CALL YOU.
1547
01:07:37,110 --> 01:07:38,108
HOW LONG YOU BEEN HERE?
1548
01:07:38,110 --> 01:07:39,344
OH, WERE YOU REALLY?
1549
01:07:39,346 --> 01:07:40,411
YEAH, RECEPTION'S TERRIBLE
THOUGH.
1550
01:07:40,413 --> 01:07:42,179
UM, DID YOU GET
THE PIÑATA?
1551
01:07:42,181 --> 01:07:44,382
YEAH, IT'S OVER THERE
BLEEDING TWIZZLERS ON THE FLOOR.
1552
01:07:44,384 --> 01:07:46,317
WHAT?
1553
01:07:46,319 --> 01:07:48,587
YEAH, I SAW IT. ONE OF MY
CLIENTS KIND OF KARATE-CHOPPED IT
1554
01:07:48,589 --> 01:07:49,954
WITH HIS KNEE.
1555
01:07:49,956 --> 01:07:52,958
OH.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
1556
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:55,059
PSH, YEAH, SO GOOD.
1557
01:07:55,061 --> 01:07:56,561
YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST
OUT RUNNING ERRANDS FOR YOU
1558
01:07:56,563 --> 01:07:58,230
AND IT'S NICE
THAT WHEN I WALK IN,
1559
01:07:58,232 --> 01:08:00,431
I SEE THE TWO OF YOU
JUST LAUGHING YOUR ASSES OFF
1560
01:08:00,433 --> 01:08:02,099
- HAVING A GREAT TIME.
- "THE TWO OF" WHO?
1561
01:08:02,101 --> 01:08:03,500
I HARDLY KNOW ANYBODY HERE.
1562
01:08:03,502 --> 01:08:06,237
OH, COME ON ADAM.
ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?
1563
01:08:06,239 --> 01:08:08,540
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE HERE
UNTIL JUST NOW.
1564
01:08:08,542 --> 01:08:10,007
AND I WOULD HAVE HELPED
WITH THE PIÑATA,
1565
01:08:10,009 --> 01:08:11,275
IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?
1566
01:08:11,277 --> 01:08:12,344
I WAS OUT GETTING
THE PERFECT PIÑATA
1567
01:08:12,346 --> 01:08:14,045
FOR YOUR LITTLE FRIEND
WHO YOU JUST HAD TO THROW
1568
01:08:14,047 --> 01:08:15,246
THIS HUGE PARTY FOR
1569
01:08:15,248 --> 01:08:17,082
AND YOU JUST HAD TO TELL ME
TO COME
1570
01:08:17,084 --> 01:08:18,617
EVEN THOUGH I TOLD POINT-BLANK
THAT I WAS NOT COMFORTABLE.
1571
01:08:18,619 --> 01:08:19,984
ALL RIGHT, EMMA...
1572
01:08:19,986 --> 01:08:22,386
NO! WOULD YOU JUST SCREW HER ALREADY
AND GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM?
1573
01:08:22,388 --> 01:08:24,922
OKAY, 'CAUSE I CAN FEEL IT IN MY
BONES THAT YOU WANT HER, OKAY?
1574
01:08:24,924 --> 01:08:27,091
AND I CAN'T STAND DATING YOU AND,
LIKE, LIVING WITH THIS SEED OF FEAR
1575
01:08:27,093 --> 01:08:28,659
WONDERING WHEN IS IT GONNA
HAPPEN? WHEN IS IT GONNA...
1576
01:08:28,661 --> 01:08:30,295
HEY, IS MY SURPRISE
HERE YET?
1577
01:08:30,297 --> 01:08:31,997
CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE
IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION?
1578
01:08:31,999 --> 01:08:33,398
BOTH OF YOU, PLEASE JUST
CALM DOWN FOR A SECOND.
1579
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:34,869
TELL YOUR FRIEND
TO TAKE A XANAX.
1580
01:08:35,369 --> 01:08:36,533
OH!
1581
01:08:40,374 --> 01:08:44,109
- OW!
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
1582
01:08:44,111 --> 01:08:47,014
♪ YOU COULD HAVE IT ALL,
YOU COULD HAVE IT ALL ♪
1583
01:09:08,200 --> 01:09:10,167
AH, SHE'S AN ABSOLUTE PSYCHO.
1584
01:09:10,169 --> 01:09:12,470
EVEN AT THE FILM SHOOT
I GOT BAD VIBES.
1585
01:09:12,472 --> 01:09:13,604
RIGHT WHEN I HANDED YOU
THE LAMP,
1586
01:09:13,606 --> 01:09:15,239
SHE GOT ALL COLD
AND DEFENSIVE.
1587
01:09:15,241 --> 01:09:16,440
I DIDN'T PICK UP
ON ANY OF THAT.
1588
01:09:16,442 --> 01:09:18,376
HERE, HOLD THIS TO YOUR NOSE.
1589
01:09:18,378 --> 01:09:20,945
IT'S A BEER
AND AN ICE PACK IN ONE.
1590
01:09:20,947 --> 01:09:23,180
DRINK THE BEER,
HOLD IT TO YOUR NOSE.
1591
01:09:23,182 --> 01:09:26,484
BEER, NOSE, BEER, NOSE.
1592
01:09:26,486 --> 01:09:28,286
BEER, NOSE.
1593
01:09:28,288 --> 01:09:29,621
ARE YOU CALLING HER?
1594
01:09:29,623 --> 01:09:31,355
- SHOULD I NOT CALL?
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
1595
01:09:31,357 --> 01:09:33,658
- YOU GOTTA KEEP YOUR HEAD BACK.
- I AM.
1596
01:09:33,660 --> 01:09:35,393
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF IT FEELS ALL CROOKED,
1597
01:09:35,395 --> 01:09:37,494
YOU GOTTA FIND YOURSELF
A REALLY GOOD RHINOPLASTER.
1598
01:09:37,496 --> 01:09:39,096
I'M NOT GONNA NEED
A NOSE JOB.
1599
01:09:39,098 --> 01:09:40,698
HONESTLY, IT DOESN'T EVEN
HURT THAT BAD.
1600
01:09:40,700 --> 01:09:42,602
I'M JUST BEING
KIND OF DRAMATIC.
1601
01:09:53,480 --> 01:09:56,081
HEY, THIS IS ADAM HART.
SO SORRY I MISSED YOU.
1602
01:09:56,083 --> 01:09:57,482
PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE
AND I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
1603
01:09:57,484 --> 01:09:59,253
THANKS.
1604
01:10:27,246 --> 01:10:28,613
WAKEY, WAKEY.
1605
01:10:28,615 --> 01:10:30,448
- JESUS CHRIST.
- GOT YOU SOME BREKKIE, MATE.
1606
01:10:30,450 --> 01:10:32,417
MAN, COME ON.
1607
01:10:32,419 --> 01:10:35,319
I HAVE SOME FRUIT,
SOME COFFEE,
1608
01:10:35,321 --> 01:10:37,588
AND A QUARTER OF
A CHOCOLATE DONUT.
1609
01:10:37,590 --> 01:10:39,323
I WANNA GO BACK TO SLEEP.
1610
01:10:39,325 --> 01:10:41,559
BUT IT'S MY LAST DAY.
1611
01:10:41,561 --> 01:10:43,094
WHAT?
1612
01:10:43,096 --> 01:10:45,796
YEAH, I GOT A JOB
ON A SHOW IN BRITAIN,
1613
01:10:45,798 --> 01:10:47,465
JUST FOR A COUPLE
OF WEEKS.
1614
01:10:47,467 --> 01:10:49,570
OKAY.
1615
01:10:50,803 --> 01:10:53,037
IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
1616
01:10:53,039 --> 01:10:58,176
IT WAS A DRUNKEN DECISION,
BUT I USED A PORTION
1617
01:10:58,178 --> 01:11:00,459
OF MY SKY MILES AND I BOUGHT YOU
A TICKET TO COME WITH ME.
1618
01:11:02,481 --> 01:11:05,516
- WHAT?
- YOU'VE NEVER LEFT THE COUNTRY, MATE.
1619
01:11:05,518 --> 01:11:07,351
I CAN'T HAVE THAT.
1620
01:11:07,353 --> 01:11:09,787
AND, IF YOU DON'T WANT
TO USE THEM,
1621
01:11:09,789 --> 01:11:11,424
I'LL JUST PAWN THEM.
1622
01:11:19,331 --> 01:11:20,331
GAY!
1623
01:11:20,333 --> 01:11:22,699
GAY!
1624
01:11:22,701 --> 01:11:24,668
YOU WANT MY ROBE
ON OR OFF?
1625
01:11:24,670 --> 01:11:27,704
UM... WHATEVER'S MORE
COMFORTABLE FOR YOU.
1626
01:11:27,706 --> 01:11:30,011
I JUST DON'T WANT MY TITS
HANGING OUT.
1627
01:11:31,578 --> 01:11:32,577
I DON'T WANT THAT EITHER.
1628
01:11:32,579 --> 01:11:34,179
- HEY, MAN.
- HEY.
1629
01:11:34,181 --> 01:11:35,779
SOPHIE AND I ARE DOING
AN ESCAPE ROOM TODAY,
1630
01:11:35,781 --> 01:11:37,348
YOU INTERESTED?
1631
01:11:37,350 --> 01:11:39,583
- EH...
- IT'LL BE REALLY FUN.
1632
01:11:39,585 --> 01:11:41,318
THEY LOCK YOU IN
A SMALL ROOM
1633
01:11:41,320 --> 01:11:43,287
AND YOU CAN'T LEAVE
UNTIL YOU SOLVE THE PUZZLES.
1634
01:11:43,289 --> 01:11:44,788
- I'M OKAY.
- YOU SURE?
1635
01:11:44,790 --> 01:11:46,224
I'LL GET YOU AN ICE CREAM CONE.
1636
01:11:46,226 --> 01:11:50,795
- THAT'S VERY SWEET.
- GOOD ONE.
1637
01:11:50,797 --> 01:11:52,497
HEY, YOU KNOW,
YOU SHOULDN'T SIT THERE TOO LONG.
1638
01:11:52,499 --> 01:11:55,600
IT'S NOT HEALTHY.
JUST GET UP, DO SOMETHING.
1639
01:11:55,602 --> 01:11:57,605
- NO, I WILL.
- YEAH?
1640
01:12:15,888 --> 01:12:17,322
- OH, I'M SO SORRY.
- I'M SORRY.
1641
01:12:17,324 --> 01:12:18,324
SORRY.
1642
01:12:22,629 --> 01:12:24,295
THAT'S WHY YOU SUCK AT LOVE.
1643
01:12:24,297 --> 01:12:25,529
NAH, I'M KIDDING, IT WAS ME.
1644
01:12:25,531 --> 01:12:27,198
DID YOU THINK IT WAS THE DOG?
1645
01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:28,765
OH, MAN, THANK GOD
YOUR LOVE LIFE SUCKS.
1646
01:12:28,767 --> 01:12:30,201
OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE,
1647
01:12:30,203 --> 01:12:32,237
BOOSTING MY VIEWERSHIP
AND PERPETUATING
1648
01:12:32,239 --> 01:12:33,837
MY DEPENDENCY ON YOUR APPROVAL
1649
01:12:33,839 --> 01:12:36,140
IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN
SOME SEMBLANCE OF AN EGO.
1650
01:12:36,142 --> 01:12:37,509
I NEED THIS.
1651
01:12:37,511 --> 01:12:39,743
I AM GONNA TELL YOU
WHY YOU SUCK AT LOVE.
1652
01:12:39,745 --> 01:12:41,645
AFTER ALL, I'M AN EXPERT.
1653
01:12:41,647 --> 01:12:44,215
FIRST OF ALL, STOP COMPLAINING
ABOUT HOW HARD DATING IS
1654
01:12:44,217 --> 01:12:46,350
FOR YOUR GENERATION.
IT'S HARD FOR EVERYBODY, ALL RIGHT?
1655
01:12:46,352 --> 01:12:48,720
IF YOU'VE GOT ONE MORE NEGATIVE
THING TO SAY ABOUT MILLENNIALS,
1656
01:12:48,722 --> 01:12:50,555
THEN GO BITCH ABOUT IT
IN THE COMMENTS SECTION
1657
01:12:50,557 --> 01:12:52,357
SO EVERY OTHER PRIVILEGED
ASSHOLE CAN GET
1658
01:12:52,359 --> 01:12:53,891
THE SAME SATISFACTION
THAT I'M GETTING RIGHT NOW.
1659
01:12:53,893 --> 01:12:55,592
EVERY TIME YOU CRASH AND BURN,
1660
01:12:55,594 --> 01:12:58,229
IT PUTS YOU ONE STEP
CLOSER TO CONVINCING YOURSELF
1661
01:12:58,231 --> 01:12:59,530
THAT THERE'S A PROBLEM
WITH THE WORLD,
1662
01:12:59,532 --> 01:13:00,931
NOT A PROBLEM WITH YOU.
1663
01:13:00,933 --> 01:13:02,766
OOH, I JUST WENT
SLAM POETRY ON YOU.
1664
01:13:02,768 --> 01:13:04,935
NORMALLY I WEAR A BERET WHEN
I DROP TRUTH BOMBS LIKE THAT,
1665
01:13:04,937 --> 01:13:06,270
BUT IT'S IN THE WASH.
1666
01:13:06,272 --> 01:13:08,540
HELLO?
1667
01:13:08,542 --> 01:13:09,707
"OH, THERE'S TOO MANY OPTIONS.
1668
01:13:09,709 --> 01:13:11,275
HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO FIND SOMEONE
1669
01:13:11,277 --> 01:13:12,443
WHEN STATISTICALLY
THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEONE
1670
01:13:12,445 --> 01:13:14,311
BETTER FOR ME OUT THERE?
1671
01:13:14,313 --> 01:13:15,813
TINDER'S SO SUPERFICIAL.
IT'S ALL BASED OFF OF LOOKS."
1672
01:13:15,815 --> 01:13:17,515
OH, YOU'RE NOT A FAN
OF OPTIONS?
1673
01:13:17,517 --> 01:13:18,882
WHY DON'T YOU GO TO IDAHO,
WHERE THE POPULATION
1674
01:13:18,884 --> 01:13:21,185
IS HALF AS DENSE
AND A FOUR IS A TEN?
1675
01:13:21,187 --> 01:13:23,720
WELL, THEN TURN THE WATER OFF.
1676
01:13:23,722 --> 01:13:25,723
OKAY, I'LL BE THERE IN TEN.
1677
01:13:25,725 --> 01:13:26,823
DATING HAS ALWAYS BEEN HARD,
1678
01:13:26,825 --> 01:13:28,592
EXCEPT NOW WE LIVE IN A TIME
1679
01:13:28,594 --> 01:13:29,793
WHERE THERE'S ALL THESE FANCY,
NEW-FANGLED GADGETS
1680
01:13:29,795 --> 01:13:31,362
THAT MAKE FINDING
THE PERFECT MATE
1681
01:13:31,364 --> 01:13:32,833
EASIER THAN BREATHING.
1682
01:13:38,437 --> 01:13:40,305
COMMUNICATION IS KING.
1683
01:13:40,307 --> 01:13:44,242
OR SHOULD I SAY COMMUNICATION
IS A NON-GENDER SPECIFIC,
1684
01:13:44,244 --> 01:13:46,610
NON-BINARY... I DON'T KNOW
THE FULL TERMINOLOGY.
1685
01:13:46,612 --> 01:13:48,412
JUST KNOW THAT
I'M ON YOUR SIDE.
1686
01:13:48,414 --> 01:13:50,715
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS,
IT'S TOUGH FOR YOU
1687
01:13:50,717 --> 01:13:52,449
TO TAKE THE INFORMATION
THAT'S IN HERE,
1688
01:13:52,451 --> 01:13:53,784
AND TURKEY BASTE IT
INTO SOMEBODY ELSE'S BRAIN.
1689
01:13:53,786 --> 01:13:55,485
NOWADAYS IT'S SO EASY
TO GHOST PEOPLE
1690
01:13:55,487 --> 01:13:57,354
AND AVOID CONFRONTATION
ALTOGETHER.
1691
01:13:57,356 --> 01:13:59,591
BUT MY ADVICE TO YOU
WOULD BE TO JUST STOP HIDING
1692
01:13:59,593 --> 01:14:02,627
AND GO OUT AND HAVE
A CONVERSATION.
1693
01:14:02,629 --> 01:14:05,596
WE ALL WANT THE SAME THING,
LOVE, CONNECTION.
1694
01:14:05,598 --> 01:14:07,767
AND A LESSON ABOUT LIFE
THAT DOESN'T SOUND SO PREACHY.
1695
01:14:09,669 --> 01:14:11,635
SO HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THIS:
1696
01:14:11,637 --> 01:14:13,770
DATING IS MEANT
TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
1697
01:14:13,772 --> 01:14:15,907
SO BE THAT HAPPY PERSON
FOR SOMEBODY ELSE
1698
01:14:15,909 --> 01:14:18,679
AND I PROMISE,
YOU'LL STOP SUCKING AT LOVE.
1699
01:14:19,879 --> 01:14:21,378
BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER,
1700
01:14:21,380 --> 01:14:22,646
AND, UM...
1701
01:14:22,648 --> 01:14:24,048
MAYBE WE CAN DO THIS AGAIN
SOMETIME.
1702
01:14:39,889 --> 01:14:44,889
Subtitles by explosiveskull
1703
01:14:57,584 --> 01:15:00,051
♪ SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW ♪
1704
01:15:00,053 --> 01:15:03,988
♪ WHEN I LOST TRACK OF TIME ♪
1705
01:15:03,990 --> 01:15:06,591
♪ OF TIME ♪
1706
01:15:06,593 --> 01:15:12,029
♪ THE LONGEST SUMMER
FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES ♪
1707
01:15:12,031 --> 01:15:15,533
♪ MY EYES ♪
1708
01:15:15,535 --> 01:15:20,604
♪ OPEN THE DOOR,
KNEES ON THE FLOOR ♪
1709
01:15:20,606 --> 01:15:24,742
♪ FACING THE GROUND ♪
1710
01:15:24,744 --> 01:15:29,079
♪ PLEASURE'S A TOY,
IT'S HARD TO DESTROY ♪
1711
01:15:29,081 --> 01:15:32,917
♪ IT WON'T MAKE A SOUND ♪
1712
01:15:32,919 --> 01:15:37,555
♪ PLEASE CALL ME BACK,
PLEASE CALL ME BACK ♪
1713
01:15:37,557 --> 01:15:39,924
♪ I'M LOSING TRACK ♪
1714
01:15:39,926 --> 01:15:44,664
♪ NO, IT WON'T STOP ♪
1715
01:15:46,566 --> 01:15:50,734
♪ PLEASE CALL ME BACK,
PLEASE CALL ME BACK ♪
1716
01:15:50,736 --> 01:15:53,003
♪ I'M LOSING TRACK ♪
1717
01:15:53,005 --> 01:15:58,779
♪ NO, I WON'T STOP ♪
1718
01:16:07,454 --> 01:16:09,921
♪ SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW ♪
1719
01:16:09,923 --> 01:16:13,791
♪ I BECAME A SPY ♪
1720
01:16:13,793 --> 01:16:16,560
♪ A SPY ♪
1721
01:16:16,562 --> 01:16:21,666
♪ STARING AT THE GUTTER
AND NOT THE SKY ♪
1722
01:16:21,668 --> 01:16:25,769
♪ THE SKY ♪
1723
01:16:25,771 --> 01:16:30,140
♪ OPEN THE DOOR,
KNEES ON THE FLOOR ♪
1724
01:16:30,142 --> 01:16:34,545
♪ FACING THE GROUND ♪
1725
01:16:34,547 --> 01:16:38,882
♪ PLEASURE'S A TOY,
IT'S HARD TO DESTROY ♪
1726
01:16:38,884 --> 01:16:42,854
♪ IT WON'T MAKE A SOUND ♪
1727
01:16:42,856 --> 01:16:47,524
♪ PLEASE CALL ME BACK,
PLEASE CALL ME BACK ♪
1728
01:16:47,526 --> 01:16:49,760
♪ I'M LOSING TRACK ♪
1729
01:16:49,762 --> 01:16:54,534
♪ NO, IT WON'T STOP ♪
1730
01:16:56,535 --> 01:17:00,505
♪ PLEASE CALL ME BACK,
PLEASE CALL ME BACK ♪
1731
01:17:00,507 --> 01:17:02,774
♪ I'M LOSING TRACK ♪
1732
01:17:02,776 --> 01:17:07,081
♪ NO, I WON'T STOP ♪
1733
01:18:01,767 --> 01:18:06,002
♪ PLEASE CALL ME BACK,
PLEASE CALL ME BACK ♪
1734
01:18:06,004 --> 01:18:08,238
♪ I'M LOSING TRACK ♪
1735
01:18:08,240 --> 01:18:12,678
♪ NO, IT WON'T STOP ♪
1736
01:18:14,713 --> 01:18:18,882
♪ PLEASE CALL ME BACK,
PLEASE CALL ME BACK ♪
1737
01:18:18,884 --> 01:18:21,519
♪ I'M LOSING TRACK ♪
1738
01:18:21,521 --> 01:18:25,993
♪ NO, I WON'T STOP ♪
130221
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