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(Shower running)
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(Man) # This is a man's world
3
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# This is a man's world
4
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# But it would be nothing
without a woman or a girl... #
5
00:01:26,927 --> 00:01:29,680
Ready or not, here comes mama.
6
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# And where is the body?
7
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# And where is the body?
8
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# Move over mother
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# Cos I'm going faster
than you can drive
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# The body beautiful
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# Oh, you are too many things
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# To die for
13
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# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
14
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# Ooh
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
15
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# Aah
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
16
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# Ooh
# Body beautiful
17
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# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
18
00:02:24,447 --> 00:02:26,517
# Ooh
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
19
00:02:26,567 --> 00:02:28,922
# Aah
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
20
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# I am body beautiful
# Beautiful
21
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# My cha-cha pumps
22
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# I've got them on
23
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# I work the runway
# Left-right-left-right
24
00:02:38,887 --> 00:02:41,355
# All night long
# You'd better walk
25
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# I am the one
26
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# There is no other
I am mother
27
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# I am body beautiful
28
00:02:49,727 --> 00:02:51,319
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
29
00:02:52,407 --> 00:02:53,522
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
30
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# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
31
00:02:56,247 --> 00:02:58,920
# Body beautiful
32
00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:00,366
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
33
00:03:00,407 --> 00:03:02,682
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
34
00:03:02,727 --> 00:03:04,319
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
35
00:03:04,367 --> 00:03:07,837
# I am body beautiful
36
00:03:16,887 --> 00:03:19,117
# I am grand
# Grand diva
37
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# I am the queen
# Queen Bee
38
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# A masquerade
# Who am I?
39
00:03:23,407 --> 00:03:25,523
# I'm fantasy
# You're fantasy
40
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# I am the house
# The whole mansion
41
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# Of elegance
42
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# Featuring
I am body beautiful
43
00:03:34,687 --> 00:03:35,961
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
44
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,998
# Oh!
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
45
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# Uh-oh!
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
46
00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:43,843
# Ooh!
# Body beautiful
47
00:03:43,887 --> 00:03:45,878
# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
# Ooh
48
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# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
# Ah... #
49
00:03:49,447 --> 00:03:53,042
(Man shouting, bottle smashes)
50
00:03:53,087 --> 00:03:56,124
- Don't throw your mother at me!
- (Man) Get out!
51
00:03:59,927 --> 00:04:02,122
(Cheering and shouting)
52
00:04:09,367 --> 00:04:11,642
I'm gonna make my lips
even more bee-stung.
53
00:04:11,687 --> 00:04:16,363
I'm taking my face to Sweden
to win the Nobel Peace Prize.
54
00:04:16,407 --> 00:04:19,956
Ain't nobody here tonight
winning Miss Congeniality.
55
00:04:20,007 --> 00:04:22,521
- (Knocking at door)
- (Man) Ladies, five minutes.
56
00:04:22,567 --> 00:04:24,683
(Groaning and muttering)
57
00:04:29,607 --> 00:04:33,566
(Announcer) New York City!
58
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,599
Pay your hometown girls some homage!
59
00:04:36,647 --> 00:04:41,516
Your drag-queen pageant finalists!
60
00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:44,604
- Miss Sheena Riviera.
- (Crowd cheering)
61
00:04:44,647 --> 00:04:46,638
Miss Missy!
62
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:50,281
Cateria Raez!
63
00:04:51,567 --> 00:04:54,525
Cappuccino Commotion!
64
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,078
Vida Boheme!
65
00:04:58,807 --> 00:05:01,879
Noxeema Jackson!
66
00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:05,555
Se�orita Chi Chi!
67
00:05:05,607 --> 00:05:06,676
Owwww!
68
00:05:06,727 --> 00:05:09,480
#... and the lady is mine
69
00:05:10,207 --> 00:05:13,563
# Mine, all mine, oh
# Well, she's never in the way
70
00:05:13,607 --> 00:05:17,202
# Always something nice to say
Oh, what a blessing
71
00:05:17,247 --> 00:05:19,203
# What a blessing
72
00:05:19,247 --> 00:05:21,317
# I can leave her on her own
73
00:05:21,367 --> 00:05:24,882
# She's OK alone
and there's no messing
74
00:05:24,927 --> 00:05:26,519
# No messing
75
00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:29,206
# She's a lady
76
00:05:29,247 --> 00:05:32,080
# Whoa, whoa, whoa, she's a lady
77
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:36,000
# Talkin' about that little lady
78
00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:41,037
# And the lady is mine
79
00:05:41,087 --> 00:05:42,566
# Mine, all mine, oh
80
00:05:42,607 --> 00:05:46,566
# Well, she never asks very much
and I don't refuse her
81
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:50,441
# Always treat her with respect
I never would abuse her
82
00:05:50,487 --> 00:05:54,480
# What she's got is hard to find
and I don't want to lose her
83
00:05:54,527 --> 00:06:00,875
# Help me build a mountain
from a little pile of clay
84
00:06:02,087 --> 00:06:04,920
# She's a lady
85
00:06:04,967 --> 00:06:08,323
# Whoa, whoa, whoa, she's a lady
86
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:11,677
# Talkin' about the little lady
87
00:06:13,087 --> 00:06:16,716
# And the lady is mine #
88
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:20,203
Hello, hello, hello!
Good evening.
89
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:26,526
And here to present
this year's Drag Queen Of The Year...
90
00:06:27,567 --> 00:06:29,637
last year's winner.
91
00:06:29,687 --> 00:06:31,996
Put your hands together for
92
00:06:32,047 --> 00:06:36,438
Miss Rachel Tensions!
93
00:06:36,487 --> 00:06:39,524
(# Fanfare)
94
00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:53,562
Hello!
95
00:06:54,367 --> 00:06:56,085
Oh!
96
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,646
Oh!
97
00:06:58,687 --> 00:07:02,566
What can I say? My heart is full.
98
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:11,163
- (Man) I love you!
- Oh, thank you.
99
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:17,205
(Man) Mama!
100
00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:27,761
Well, well.
Here we all are again.
101
00:07:27,807 --> 00:07:30,321
Another year flies by
102
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:33,643
and it's time to crown
a new Drag Queen Of The Year.
103
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,359
(Cheering)
104
00:07:35,407 --> 00:07:37,477
Proof that in New York City
105
00:07:37,527 --> 00:07:40,280
a thing of beauty is a joy
106
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,795
for exactly 12 months.
107
00:07:42,847 --> 00:07:45,156
(Laughter)
108
00:07:45,207 --> 00:07:48,324
May I have the envelope, please?
109
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:50,835
(Cheering and wolf whistles)
110
00:07:52,047 --> 00:07:55,722
Mmm-mmm. I don't know who he is
111
00:07:55,767 --> 00:08:00,682
but if there's a snowstorm tonight,
he's going on my tyres.
112
00:08:00,727 --> 00:08:03,924
(Cheers and whistles)
113
00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:06,765
The winner
of the Drag Queen Of The Year
114
00:08:06,807 --> 00:08:11,756
will receive an all-expense-paid,
round-trip ticket
115
00:08:11,807 --> 00:08:14,002
to Hollywood, California!
116
00:08:14,047 --> 00:08:16,959
(Cheering)
117
00:08:17,007 --> 00:08:22,161
Where she can compete
in the Drag Queen Of America contest.
118
00:08:24,247 --> 00:08:26,966
I'm so excited I could just spit.
119
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,037
And the winner is...
120
00:08:32,087 --> 00:08:34,647
We have a tie!
121
00:08:35,727 --> 00:08:38,525
- Tie? What's she mean, tie?
- Oh, my God.
122
00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:41,240
- And the winners are...
- Me...
123
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:45,883
...Miss Noxeema Jackson
and Miss Vida Boheme!
124
00:08:45,927 --> 00:08:50,796
Work the runway, work it!
To the future, diva women!
125
00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:53,758
(Rachel) Come, come.
126
00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:08,840
(Rachel) Now, go and scandalise
this country, girlfriends.
127
00:09:08,887 --> 00:09:11,924
This land was made for you and her.
128
00:09:11,967 --> 00:09:14,242
(# Tchaikovsky: 1812 Overture)
129
00:09:40,087 --> 00:09:42,521
Us in Hollywood?
This is total glam.
130
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:45,081
I just hope nobody
mistakes us for the Gabors.
131
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:50,042
- We'll be seen at the China Bowl.
- We will induce envy and rage.
132
00:09:50,087 --> 00:09:53,284
Look. That little Latin boy
in drag is crying.
133
00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:57,525
Find out why
that little Latin boy in drag is crying.
134
00:09:57,567 --> 00:10:00,400
Little Latin boy in drag,
135
00:10:00,447 --> 00:10:02,836
why are you crying?
136
00:10:02,887 --> 00:10:07,403
Cos... It's just cos the two of you
are so pretty, you know?
137
00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:09,642
- That's all?
- Of course we're pretty
138
00:10:09,687 --> 00:10:11,996
but why are you crying?
139
00:10:12,047 --> 00:10:15,403
Maybe she just found out
Menudo broke up.
140
00:10:15,447 --> 00:10:17,836
Now, little one, what is your name?
141
00:10:18,887 --> 00:10:21,765
It's Chi Chi. Chi Chi Rodriguez.
142
00:10:22,807 --> 00:10:26,846
- What's with the waterworks?
- I wanted to win this so much
143
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:30,596
because I never won nothing.
Every time that I do something,
144
00:10:30,647 --> 00:10:34,526
I get it wrong and somebody's
always laughing at me.
145
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:38,355
But maybe I'll meet somebody nice
who will rescue me,
146
00:10:38,407 --> 00:10:42,286
instead of old men
with their greasy bellies and their money
147
00:10:42,327 --> 00:10:45,319
and their... (Grunting)
...and leaving when the time is up.
148
00:10:45,367 --> 00:10:48,120
But, no, I'm a loser.
That's why. I'm a loser.
149
00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:51,079
I hate my life, I hate myself,
I hate everything!
150
00:10:51,127 --> 00:10:55,006
Listen, listen. You are a winner.
You look like...
151
00:10:55,807 --> 00:10:59,766
Well, you are a winner and...
152
00:11:01,967 --> 00:11:04,606
- Don't be looking at me.
- Noxeema!
153
00:11:04,647 --> 00:11:08,401
Don't be giving me that
bleeding-heart Sally Struthers look.
154
00:11:08,447 --> 00:11:10,881
Chi Chi, you just sit right here.
155
00:11:10,927 --> 00:11:14,158
I am going upstairs
to have a talk with Miss Noxeema.
156
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,438
- We will be right back.
- I'm not going upstairs with you.
157
00:11:17,487 --> 00:11:20,240
I ain't driving you no more, Miss Daisy.
158
00:11:20,287 --> 00:11:23,438
Noxeema, we must all help others.
159
00:11:23,487 --> 00:11:26,047
- How?
- Take her with us to Hollywood.
160
00:11:26,087 --> 00:11:28,317
- Say what?
- Take her with us.
161
00:11:28,367 --> 00:11:31,086
- How are we gonna do that?
- Erm...
162
00:11:31,127 --> 00:11:34,039
Sell our plane tickets
and the three of us go by bus.
163
00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:38,956
Uh-uh-uh. Not on your young,
queer life. You and your causes.
164
00:11:39,007 --> 00:11:43,683
That child is Latin. You don't
want to get mixed up in that mess.
165
00:11:43,727 --> 00:11:45,922
She might be a Sandinista.
166
00:11:45,967 --> 00:11:49,277
Noxeema Jackson,
I must admit that I am shocked
167
00:11:49,327 --> 00:11:53,002
and just a little bit saddened by you.
You, of all people.
168
00:11:53,047 --> 00:11:56,756
I remember the first time
that I laid eyes
169
00:11:56,807 --> 00:12:00,083
on a certain young
ebony enchantress in the rough
170
00:12:00,127 --> 00:12:03,722
and how, through styling
and the occasional make-up tip,
171
00:12:03,767 --> 00:12:07,601
I helped her look just a little bit
less like Moms Mabley.
172
00:12:07,647 --> 00:12:11,162
- Moms Mabley?
- And who'd think that enchantress
173
00:12:11,207 --> 00:12:14,517
would one day share a title with moi?
174
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,355
Now, on those steps,
that dear little Spanish soul,
175
00:12:18,407 --> 00:12:22,320
working that tired Abbe Lane drag
for all it's worth
176
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,358
is all alone in this world.
177
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:28,882
And she just once
wants to be special,
178
00:12:28,927 --> 00:12:32,317
to have a moment in the starlight,
179
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:36,565
to dream of being
utterly, utterly fabulous.
180
00:12:41,807 --> 00:12:44,640
- Hello!
- I'm walking here! I'm walking here!
181
00:12:45,407 --> 00:12:50,117
(Vida) Now, the China Bowl is the place
if you want to be outrageous.
182
00:12:53,927 --> 00:12:55,280
(Applause and cheering)
183
00:12:55,327 --> 00:12:59,081
What stunning visions! Tell us
your beauty secrets or we'll die.
184
00:12:59,127 --> 00:13:02,802
Darling, I cannot be held responsible
for that.
185
00:13:02,847 --> 00:13:05,361
- I wish I was as beautiful as you.
- Honey!
186
00:13:05,407 --> 00:13:07,762
Good luck. Come on, honey.
187
00:13:11,767 --> 00:13:13,758
Thank you.
188
00:13:16,767 --> 00:13:19,235
- They really like us.
- Love...
189
00:13:19,287 --> 00:13:21,676
Delighted to meet us!
190
00:13:21,727 --> 00:13:23,922
(Man) Vida! Hi.
191
00:13:25,047 --> 00:13:30,041
Excuse me. Oh, Vida, Vida!
Che bellissima. Come va?
192
00:13:30,087 --> 00:13:32,317
Darling, enchant�.
193
00:13:33,287 --> 00:13:35,755
Oh, you spoke French. How bi.
194
00:13:35,807 --> 00:13:38,844
Look at you, my little pi�ata.
How are you?
195
00:13:38,887 --> 00:13:43,358
The only man of money matters,
Mr John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
196
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:47,241
- �Ay, tan chulo! El gusto es m�o.
- No, no. El gusto es m�o.
197
00:13:47,287 --> 00:13:49,437
No, papito, el gusto es m�o.
198
00:13:49,487 --> 00:13:51,478
- See that?
- El gusto es m�o.
199
00:13:51,527 --> 00:13:53,404
Si te ajusto las nalgas...
200
00:13:53,447 --> 00:13:56,325
You remember
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
201
00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:59,882
- His name is my name, too.
- Do people shout? I hate that.
202
00:13:59,927 --> 00:14:02,680
Look at you!
I'm like a compass near north.
203
00:14:02,727 --> 00:14:06,276
- Congratulations on your victoire.
- Thank you.
204
00:14:06,327 --> 00:14:08,887
Now, we must talk.
We have une petite crise.
205
00:14:08,927 --> 00:14:13,159
- Crise? Oh, jamais.
- We have decided
206
00:14:13,207 --> 00:14:17,883
to take our young prot�g�,
Miss Chi Chi, to Hollywood with us.
207
00:14:17,927 --> 00:14:20,566
- How Three Sisters. How Chekhov.
- We?
208
00:14:20,607 --> 00:14:22,996
- What part do I play?
- Two round trips to LA.
209
00:14:23,047 --> 00:14:25,436
- To have or to dump?
- To dump.
210
00:14:25,487 --> 00:14:28,524
Ooh. # To-dump, to-dump,
to dump-dump-dump
211
00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:31,445
- One thousand.
- That is fabulous.
212
00:14:31,487 --> 00:14:34,843
- Then three round trips to LA.
- Mode of transportation?
213
00:14:34,887 --> 00:14:37,037
- Cheapest.
- Oh, well, mule!
214
00:14:37,087 --> 00:14:39,362
Sorry, darling. Forgive me.
215
00:14:39,407 --> 00:14:42,558
- You've got her number.
- Let's say bus.
216
00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:46,964
I do not do the bus. You have me
mistaken for Miss Rosa Parks.
217
00:14:47,007 --> 00:14:51,159
Lxnay on the Hound, then.
How about chemin de fer? Train.
218
00:14:51,207 --> 00:14:54,677
- Oh, yes! Does it have a club car?
- How much?
219
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:58,959
Let's see. Three round-trip tickets,
two adults, one child...
220
00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:01,123
Tell me, does it have a club car?
221
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,920
1,500?
222
00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:07,198
That is totally out of our league.
What else can we do?
223
00:15:07,247 --> 00:15:09,841
On account of your need
and unprecedented glamour,
224
00:15:09,887 --> 00:15:12,481
today you're the lucky winner of...
225
00:15:12,527 --> 00:15:16,964
- Can we pay in trade?
- It's English, darling. Noxee.
226
00:15:17,007 --> 00:15:20,238
"Crazy Elijah -
my cars are my children."
227
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:23,359
Drop my name,
anything on the lot - $50.
228
00:15:23,407 --> 00:15:27,923
- Problem solved. A lifesaver.
- Are we driving to Los Angeles?
229
00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:30,322
- Cherry Lifesaver.
- All-day sucker.
230
00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:34,406
Are we discussing driving
from New York to Los Angeles?
231
00:15:34,447 --> 00:15:38,201
Don't start with me. We will go on.
I've got to go. Bye!
232
00:15:38,247 --> 00:15:43,367
(Noxeema) This America does not
respond kindly to our sort of person.
233
00:15:43,407 --> 00:15:46,319
No one say anything frivolous
for a few moments,
234
00:15:46,367 --> 00:15:48,756
I am having a significant experience.
235
00:15:48,807 --> 00:15:50,365
Whoopee(!)
236
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:55,800
Miss Julie Newmar has been watching
silently over this conversation.
237
00:15:55,847 --> 00:15:58,805
And look at her, vintage Miss Julie.
238
00:15:58,847 --> 00:16:02,123
She is the perfect,
the ultimate... Oh!
239
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:06,716
(Vida) Describe her
and do not use the word "statuesque".
240
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:11,966
Miss Julie, you are statuesque
and you were the only Cat Woman.
241
00:16:12,007 --> 00:16:14,362
- Read it, please.
- "To Wong Foo,
242
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:17,285
"thanks for everything,
Julie Newmar."
243
00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:21,320
- Who was Wong Foo?
- I don't know but they were close.
244
00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:23,085
I'm hungry.
245
00:16:23,127 --> 00:16:28,042
We must take this message across
the land as our sovereign token.
246
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:30,203
(Chi Chi) Let's just relax.
247
00:16:30,247 --> 00:16:34,718
(Noxeema) I was back in the club car,
now we're driving across America.
248
00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:38,806
�Ay, nenita! Look! Look at this!
Look what I found.
249
00:16:38,847 --> 00:16:41,281
(Noxeema) Golly, golly, golly!
250
00:16:41,327 --> 00:16:44,922
- The seats are like butter.
- Now this is a car.
251
00:16:44,967 --> 00:16:48,437
A car? Mary Alice Louise, no.
This is a land yacht.
252
00:16:48,487 --> 00:16:52,036
I used to know a lawyer guy
who had a car just like this
253
00:16:52,087 --> 00:16:55,363
and I said then and there
I'd have one for myself.
254
00:16:55,407 --> 00:16:58,365
- Can we have this?
- (Noxeema) But we daren't.
255
00:16:58,407 --> 00:17:01,046
I feel like Miss Jayne Mansfield
in this.
256
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,396
Ooh! Not a good auto reference.
257
00:17:03,447 --> 00:17:06,086
Please, it's a wreck. Ladies.
258
00:17:06,127 --> 00:17:10,279
Be careful with the...
It'll never get you to California!
259
00:17:11,647 --> 00:17:16,004
- It's the look!
- Noxee, how can you possibly refuse?
260
00:17:16,047 --> 00:17:18,925
Internal combustion,
the ultimate accessory.
261
00:17:18,967 --> 00:17:23,916
Ladies, please, for your own safety,
go with the Toyota Corolla.
262
00:17:23,967 --> 00:17:26,686
It comes down to
that age-old decision.
263
00:17:26,727 --> 00:17:28,160
Style...
264
00:17:28,207 --> 00:17:30,641
or substance?
265
00:17:32,407 --> 00:17:34,637
(All) Hmm...
266
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,484
# Gotta move
267
00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:47,564
# Gotta get out
268
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,127
# Gotta leave this place
269
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:54,079
# Gotta find some place
270
00:17:54,127 --> 00:17:57,324
# Some other place
Some brand new place
271
00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:01,360
# Some place where each face that
I see won't be staring back at me
272
00:18:01,407 --> 00:18:03,045
# Telling me what to be
and how to be it
273
00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:08,277
# Some place where I can just be me
274
00:18:09,567 --> 00:18:11,364
# Gotta move
275
00:18:12,487 --> 00:18:14,159
# Gotta get out... #
276
00:18:14,207 --> 00:18:17,995
Let me ask you something.
We just left Philadelphia, right?
277
00:18:18,047 --> 00:18:22,677
- So the next city is...
- Bala Cynwyd.
278
00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:26,197
- Bala Cynwyd. It's Welsh.
- That's right.
279
00:18:26,247 --> 00:18:29,956
- How do you know that?
- How did you know that?
280
00:18:30,007 --> 00:18:32,601
Believe it or not, it's my hometown.
281
00:18:32,647 --> 00:18:35,957
- Get out!
- Oh, my goodness! I want to see!
282
00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:40,603
- I wanna see where she was birthed!
- The birthplace of Miss Vida Boheme.
283
00:18:40,647 --> 00:18:44,083
There's got to be
a historical marker or something.
284
00:18:44,127 --> 00:18:49,485
#... when I find me that new place,
maybe ours
285
00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:51,199
# Gotta leave this town
286
00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:53,044
# Gotta leave this place
287
00:18:53,087 --> 00:18:58,957
# Gotta find a new man
288
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:01,043
# Gotta move #
289
00:19:05,527 --> 00:19:09,520
(Vida) Welcome to Bala Cynwyd.
(Chi Chi) It's so beautiful!
290
00:19:10,807 --> 00:19:15,961
Here, they made me stop being Esther
Williams in Million Dollar Mermaid,
291
00:19:16,007 --> 00:19:19,079
thus marring
the Methodist annual picnic.
292
00:19:19,127 --> 00:19:22,358
(Chi Chi) How come you never told us
you were rich?
293
00:19:22,407 --> 00:19:27,083
- I'm not rich, my parents are.
- You gave all this up?
294
00:19:27,127 --> 00:19:30,278
There will be a barbecue
at Twelve Oaks tonight.
295
00:19:30,327 --> 00:19:33,683
We were so poor my parents
got married for the rice.
296
00:19:33,727 --> 00:19:35,718
Why did you give this up?
297
00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:39,077
- Vida gave all this up to be Vida.
- Hello.
298
00:19:39,127 --> 00:19:42,244
Next time you give something like
this up, call me, I'll take it.
299
00:19:42,287 --> 00:19:44,403
There. There.
300
00:19:44,447 --> 00:19:48,406
�Ay, mama! Look!
301
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:58,119
Fabulous. Simply fabulous.
302
00:20:12,767 --> 00:20:14,758
Maps are cheating.
303
00:20:14,807 --> 00:20:17,685
Don't do that! What are you doing?
304
00:20:17,727 --> 00:20:19,718
Go back!
305
00:20:20,527 --> 00:20:24,998
Oh, Jesus.
Vida, this is unbecoming of a lady.
306
00:20:32,727 --> 00:20:35,195
How are we gonna know
where we're going?
307
00:20:35,247 --> 00:20:38,842
- Instincts, my dear.
- And exquisite wit.
308
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:42,357
To become a drag queen,
you have to learn these things.
309
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:46,320
What do you mean, "be a drag queen"?
I am a drag queen.
310
00:20:46,367 --> 00:20:50,406
Oh, child, no. You are, simply put,
a boy in a dress.
311
00:20:51,327 --> 00:20:54,444
When a straight man puts on a dress
to get kicks,
312
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,478
he is a transvestite.
313
00:20:56,527 --> 00:20:59,087
When a man is a woman
trapped in a man's body
314
00:20:59,127 --> 00:21:02,244
and has the little operation,
he is a transsexual.
315
00:21:02,287 --> 00:21:04,517
- I know that.
- When a gay man
316
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:09,846
has way too much fashion sense
for one gender, he is a drag queen.
317
00:21:09,887 --> 00:21:11,036
Thank you.
318
00:21:11,087 --> 00:21:16,286
And when a tired Latin boy puts on
a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress.
319
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:18,962
(Noxeema and Vida giggling)
320
00:21:19,007 --> 00:21:22,522
- I'm just a boy in a dress?
- (Both) Definitely.
321
00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:27,118
(Chi Chi) OK, OK, that's it.
That does it. I'm history.
322
00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:34,446
Maybe there is a place for somebody
like me but I don't need that.
323
00:21:34,487 --> 00:21:36,159
She running across the border.
324
00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:39,643
You have huge potential
and you are squandering it!
325
00:21:39,687 --> 00:21:41,484
What do you care?
326
00:21:41,527 --> 00:21:44,724
Yes, you will start off
a mere boy in a dress.
327
00:21:44,767 --> 00:21:47,201
But when we are done
with this crusade,
328
00:21:47,247 --> 00:21:49,238
Auntie Vida and Auntie Noxee
329
00:21:49,287 --> 00:21:53,485
will give you the outrageous outlook
and indomitable spirit
330
00:21:53,527 --> 00:21:56,758
that it will take to make you
a full-fledged drag queen.
331
00:21:58,287 --> 00:22:02,565
So now, I want you to turn
your sway-backed little self around
332
00:22:02,607 --> 00:22:06,919
on those Robert Clergerie knockoffs
and get back in this car.
333
00:22:08,167 --> 00:22:10,237
Maybe I'm not just a boy in a dress.
334
00:22:14,807 --> 00:22:18,243
All right. You are a drag princess.
335
00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:21,880
I could live with that.
I'm a princess.
336
00:22:21,927 --> 00:22:26,079
P to the R to the IN
to the CESS! I'm a princess!
337
00:22:26,127 --> 00:22:30,040
- Are you all right?
- You gotta like! Princess Chi Chi.
338
00:22:30,087 --> 00:22:32,965
That's fine
but you still have a lot to learn
339
00:22:33,007 --> 00:22:35,567
before you're a full-fledged queen.
340
00:22:35,607 --> 00:22:38,440
Can I stay a princess?
They're younger.
341
00:22:38,487 --> 00:22:42,844
Does everything have to be a joke?
This is not a masquerade, it's real.
342
00:22:42,887 --> 00:22:45,526
There are steps to becoming a queen.
343
00:22:45,567 --> 00:22:48,161
I'm sorry. How many?
344
00:22:50,007 --> 00:22:53,682
Four. There are four steps
to becoming a drag queen.
345
00:22:54,727 --> 00:22:56,797
Tell me, what are they?
346
00:22:56,847 --> 00:23:00,556
Patience, ma ch�rie.
You will know when you've done them.
347
00:23:00,607 --> 00:23:04,316
Miss Noxeema,
our duchess of protocol, will inform you.
348
00:23:04,367 --> 00:23:09,316
(Noxeema) Just pay attention. Auntie
Vida will make you a big old queen.
349
00:23:09,367 --> 00:23:12,325
God grant me the serenity
to accept being a boy in a dress,
350
00:23:12,367 --> 00:23:16,076
the courage to change with the fashions
and the wisdom to know the difference.
351
00:23:16,127 --> 00:23:18,960
(Noxeema)
Congratulations, Miss Rodriguez.
352
00:23:19,007 --> 00:23:22,443
That was step number one
towards true queenliness.
353
00:23:22,487 --> 00:23:24,478
(Chi Chi) Step one already!
354
00:23:24,527 --> 00:23:27,724
(Noxeema) Let good thoughts
be your sword and shield.
355
00:23:27,767 --> 00:23:30,839
# Take a look at yourself
What do you see?
356
00:23:30,887 --> 00:23:34,436
# A willing victim of mediocrity
357
00:23:34,487 --> 00:23:38,480
# No one told you
you can't have it all
358
00:23:38,527 --> 00:23:41,883
# It's time to act up
and have a ball
359
00:23:41,927 --> 00:23:44,760
# You've got to be yourself
# Gonna change that vibe... #
360
00:23:46,327 --> 00:23:48,841
(Chi Chi) I'm so tired,
I wish I were dead.
361
00:23:48,887 --> 00:23:51,879
We all tired, honey.
362
00:23:51,927 --> 00:23:54,236
We're gonna have to stop sometime.
363
00:23:54,287 --> 00:23:57,279
I know. I've just
sort of been postponing it.
364
00:23:57,327 --> 00:23:59,522
Stop torturing us.
365
00:24:03,367 --> 00:24:04,846
OK.
366
00:24:14,647 --> 00:24:17,445
Budget Hosts are really good,
I'm serious.
367
00:24:17,487 --> 00:24:20,923
You can keep the mints
even if you don't stay all night.
368
00:24:20,967 --> 00:24:23,435
It's a Budget Host.
369
00:24:23,487 --> 00:24:26,559
I don't know.
It's just so Middle America.
370
00:24:26,607 --> 00:24:29,519
- Why don't we sleep in the car?
- Oh, please(!)
371
00:24:29,567 --> 00:24:31,558
I've got to sleep in a real bed.
372
00:24:31,607 --> 00:24:36,397
People are gonna be cruel, maybe
violent. We have been there before.
373
00:24:36,447 --> 00:24:40,281
Let's throw you two a pity party.
Two fraidy old ladies.
374
00:24:40,327 --> 00:24:43,399
- What is she doing?
- Live life before it lives you.
375
00:24:43,447 --> 00:24:45,836
- She'll get herself killed.
- When?
376
00:24:45,887 --> 00:24:48,765
Gonna be second-rate your whole life.
377
00:24:48,807 --> 00:24:50,638
Please get in this car.
378
00:24:50,687 --> 00:24:53,838
I'm not sleeping with
the Wicked Witch Of The West.
379
00:24:53,887 --> 00:24:55,559
Chi Chi, please!
380
00:24:55,607 --> 00:24:58,758
- I need some sleep tonight, OK?
- (Men wolf-whistling and shouting)
381
00:24:58,807 --> 00:25:01,958
- Take a picture, it'll last longer.
- We have to go get her. Let's go.
382
00:25:02,007 --> 00:25:04,567
Why do you always do this to me?
383
00:25:04,607 --> 00:25:07,804
- Ridiculous. A bunch of wet rags.
- She's crazy.
384
00:25:07,847 --> 00:25:10,964
We're staying in this no-tell motel
so be quiet.
385
00:25:11,007 --> 00:25:15,603
- I should have met you outside.
- It's OK, Mr Manager.
386
00:25:15,647 --> 00:25:18,081
We came in for a little sanctuary.
387
00:25:18,127 --> 00:25:21,403
- Welcome.
- Welcome?
388
00:25:21,447 --> 00:25:25,326
- There's wine and cheese.
- I love to be wined and dined.
389
00:25:25,367 --> 00:25:28,006
You'll meet many
of your friends inside.
390
00:25:28,047 --> 00:25:30,561
(All) Friends?
391
00:25:30,607 --> 00:25:34,156
Get with the programme. No one is
so rich as to throw away a friend.
392
00:25:34,207 --> 00:25:36,323
Is there a drag ball going on?
393
00:25:36,367 --> 00:25:38,961
Basketball?
394
00:25:39,007 --> 00:25:41,475
(Chi Chi) I'll be centre,
you be cheerleader.
395
00:25:43,687 --> 00:25:45,882
Come on, over here!
396
00:25:45,927 --> 00:25:48,566
- I'm open.
- Move the ball around.
397
00:25:53,247 --> 00:25:54,919
(Squeals) Yeah!
398
00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:05,635
Miss Chi Chi, I must commend you
399
00:26:05,687 --> 00:26:08,155
on your entrance
into this establishment.
400
00:26:08,207 --> 00:26:12,325
Oooh! Absolutely.
Step two, big time.
401
00:26:12,367 --> 00:26:15,996
Halfway towards
utter, utter fabulousness.
402
00:26:16,047 --> 00:26:19,517
Step two to becoming a queen -
ignore adversity.
403
00:26:19,567 --> 00:26:21,956
- Toast to Miss Chi Chi.
- We salute you.
404
00:26:32,647 --> 00:26:35,366
(Whistling)
405
00:26:37,927 --> 00:26:39,918
# Oh, she's a brick
406
00:26:40,967 --> 00:26:42,764
# House
407
00:26:43,767 --> 00:26:47,282
# She's mighty, mighty
Just lettin' it all hang out
408
00:26:47,327 --> 00:26:49,602
# She's a brick
409
00:26:49,647 --> 00:26:51,160
# House
410
00:26:51,207 --> 00:26:54,438
# I like ladies stacked
And that's a fact
411
00:26:54,487 --> 00:26:58,116
# Ain't holding nothing back
Oh, she's a brick
412
00:26:58,167 --> 00:26:59,566
# House
413
00:26:59,607 --> 00:27:02,485
# Yeah, she's the one
The only one
414
00:27:02,527 --> 00:27:04,324
# Built like an Amazon... #
415
00:27:13,927 --> 00:27:18,284
"Lost in the hot embrace
of Damien's sinewy bronze flesh,
416
00:27:19,167 --> 00:27:22,523
"Laritza surrendered
her body completely..."
417
00:27:22,567 --> 00:27:23,716
(Vida) Oh!
418
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:27,919
"...melting with every touch
of his insatiable lipses."
419
00:27:27,967 --> 00:27:29,878
Oh, stop. My nerves.
420
00:27:30,927 --> 00:27:32,918
(Chi Chi) Where the freak are we?
421
00:27:32,967 --> 00:27:35,356
(Noxeema) The last person I saw
422
00:27:35,407 --> 00:27:39,719
didn't have but two teeth in
his mouth, so I guess West Virginia.
423
00:27:43,327 --> 00:27:45,204
(Siren)
424
00:27:45,247 --> 00:27:48,000
- Oh, what in gay hell?
- What's the matter?
425
00:27:48,047 --> 00:27:50,959
- This could prove problematic.
- Why?
426
00:27:51,007 --> 00:27:54,682
The first name
on my driver's licence is Eugene.
427
00:27:54,727 --> 00:27:56,365
Eugene?
428
00:27:56,407 --> 00:27:58,682
(Vida) Yes.
(Noxeema) Eugene?
429
00:27:59,727 --> 00:28:01,319
Eugene?!
430
00:28:24,927 --> 00:28:29,762
- Can I see your licence?
- What seems to be the problem?
431
00:28:29,807 --> 00:28:32,241
You got a tail light out.
Your licence.
432
00:28:32,287 --> 00:28:36,166
Oh! A tail light out. That is
the very least of our problems.
433
00:28:36,207 --> 00:28:38,198
- What have we got here?
- Hola.
434
00:28:38,247 --> 00:28:39,441
Hi.
435
00:28:39,487 --> 00:28:42,559
Erm... I was wondering
if you could help us.
436
00:28:42,607 --> 00:28:45,246
We are three young
career girls from...
437
00:28:45,287 --> 00:28:48,324
- Career girls?
- Yes. From New York City.
438
00:28:48,367 --> 00:28:50,756
We are so lost you cannot believe.
439
00:28:50,807 --> 00:28:54,561
- Where do you think we are?
- West Virginia?
440
00:28:54,607 --> 00:28:56,518
West Virginia?
441
00:28:56,567 --> 00:28:59,639
You're a long way
from West Virginia, girls.
442
00:28:59,687 --> 00:29:03,965
Could you possibly help us find
a moderately priced hotel?
443
00:29:05,647 --> 00:29:08,480
We don't go for that
around these parts,
444
00:29:08,527 --> 00:29:11,485
white girls riding around
with niggers and spics.
445
00:29:11,527 --> 00:29:14,678
- Talk to him, you speak honky.
- Sheriff Dullard...
446
00:29:14,727 --> 00:29:17,116
- That's Dollard.
- I am sorry.
447
00:29:17,167 --> 00:29:21,046
- It's Dollard.
- It says Dullard on your name tag.
448
00:29:21,087 --> 00:29:23,647
It's a misprint!
449
00:29:25,847 --> 00:29:29,044
As I was saying,
we are three young career girls...
450
00:29:30,087 --> 00:29:33,921
- You're pretty.
- Why, thank you.
451
00:29:34,647 --> 00:29:37,002
Step out of the vehicle.
452
00:29:37,047 --> 00:29:39,845
- Don't do it.
- Vida, please be careful.
453
00:29:39,887 --> 00:29:41,878
Get out of the car.
454
00:29:44,007 --> 00:29:45,520
Christ, you're tall.
455
00:29:45,567 --> 00:29:49,355
- Is this really necessary?
- Where's your licence?
456
00:29:51,127 --> 00:29:53,595
Come with me to my car. Come on.
457
00:29:54,647 --> 00:29:56,478
You stay in the vehicle.
458
00:29:57,367 --> 00:30:02,680
Officer, if I could just explain.
My licence, the name...
459
00:30:02,727 --> 00:30:06,117
- Don't worry about your licence.
- Don't worry?
460
00:30:06,167 --> 00:30:09,000
I think maybe he's prejudiced.
461
00:30:10,607 --> 00:30:13,201
I bet you were the brightest
in your class.
462
00:30:15,487 --> 00:30:17,478
What are you doing?
463
00:30:17,527 --> 00:30:19,882
- Give me a kiss.
- No. Please, no.
464
00:30:19,927 --> 00:30:23,681
I know what you want. You know what
you career girls want?
465
00:30:23,727 --> 00:30:26,321
- Careers?
- Same thing as every girl wants.
466
00:30:26,367 --> 00:30:29,757
- No, please don't do this.
- Give Daddy some sugar.
467
00:30:29,807 --> 00:30:32,605
Please, no! Please. No.
468
00:30:32,647 --> 00:30:35,286
When a lady says no, she means...
469
00:30:36,087 --> 00:30:38,601
Get your hand off my dick, buddy!
470
00:30:42,767 --> 00:30:45,042
Sheriff Dullard?
471
00:30:46,087 --> 00:30:47,884
Sh-Sheriff Dullard?
472
00:30:52,087 --> 00:30:54,920
Noxee. Oh, no. Noxee!
473
00:30:54,967 --> 00:30:58,596
- Don't go out there.
- What is going on?
474
00:30:58,647 --> 00:31:01,844
(Vida) I think he's dead.
(Chi Chi) Don't leave me.
475
00:31:01,887 --> 00:31:04,355
- I killed him.
- Why is he on the ground?
476
00:31:04,407 --> 00:31:06,443
- Are you sure?
- Don't go over!
477
00:31:06,487 --> 00:31:09,126
- How do you know he's dead?
- I'm not sure.
478
00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:13,399
- He had his hand up my dress...
- Feeling you up?
479
00:31:13,447 --> 00:31:15,881
He was trying to have
his way with me.
480
00:31:15,927 --> 00:31:17,918
(All talking at once)
481
00:31:17,967 --> 00:31:22,245
- How do you know he's dead?
- If you want to know, you check.
482
00:31:22,287 --> 00:31:25,085
- Don't get an attitude.
- Let me check.
483
00:31:25,127 --> 00:31:28,199
I knew this accountant
who died on me like this.
484
00:31:28,247 --> 00:31:31,683
- Be careful, Chi Chi.
- I can't believe this.
485
00:31:33,807 --> 00:31:37,641
Mamis, don't quote me
but I think this one is deceased.
486
00:31:37,687 --> 00:31:42,397
Oh, my God. A dead white policeman?
487
00:31:42,447 --> 00:31:46,201
- Should we blow?
- Yes. Two words, b-low.
488
00:31:46,247 --> 00:31:49,876
- Let's go.
- Don't leave me with this dead man!
489
00:31:49,927 --> 00:31:54,000
Look, Miss Necrophilia,
get yourself in this car right now!
490
00:31:54,047 --> 00:31:57,801
(Noxeema) I can't believe this.
I get a nice crown, a nice sceptre,
491
00:31:57,847 --> 00:32:00,964
then I end up being part of...
492
00:32:01,007 --> 00:32:03,805
(Voices fade)
493
00:32:49,607 --> 00:32:51,882
(Chi Chi) What are we gonna do now?
494
00:33:06,247 --> 00:33:08,841
Lovely night. Look at those stars.
495
00:33:10,647 --> 00:33:12,205
(Noxeema) Come on.
496
00:33:12,247 --> 00:33:14,681
(Chi Chi) Use your muscles.
(Noxeema) Jealous?
497
00:33:14,727 --> 00:33:16,683
(Ignition fails)
498
00:33:17,367 --> 00:33:19,562
(Ignition fails)
499
00:33:20,927 --> 00:33:22,997
Oh, no, it isn't.
500
00:33:23,047 --> 00:33:26,278
- (Engine spluttering)
- Please...
501
00:33:26,327 --> 00:33:29,046
Now, we're stuck here forever.
I knew it.
502
00:33:29,087 --> 00:33:33,000
I could be in a comfortable,
climate-controlled environment
503
00:33:33,047 --> 00:33:35,515
on a transcontinental airline,
504
00:33:35,567 --> 00:33:39,719
enjoying my individual package
of peanuts and my warm towel
505
00:33:39,767 --> 00:33:41,758
if it wasn't for what? What?
506
00:33:41,807 --> 00:33:43,923
The little Hispanic rent-a-tart.
507
00:33:43,967 --> 00:33:48,119
I didn't ask to come on this trip,
did I? No, I don't think so.
508
00:33:48,167 --> 00:33:52,160
Did I ask you to be making me over
and jump all kinds of hoops?
509
00:33:52,207 --> 00:33:53,799
No, I don't think so.
510
00:33:53,847 --> 00:33:58,045
And do I want to go to jail
because of some cop-killer?
511
00:33:58,087 --> 00:34:00,726
The next town,
I'm jumping on the first man
512
00:34:00,767 --> 00:34:04,965
and I'm riding him all the way to
New York City and away from you two
513
00:34:05,007 --> 00:34:07,999
because this trip sucks, it sucks.
514
00:34:08,047 --> 00:34:12,279
After all we've done to include you,
you would leave us so quickly?
515
00:34:12,327 --> 00:34:13,840
Like that.
516
00:34:13,887 --> 00:34:16,082
All right.
517
00:34:16,127 --> 00:34:19,005
Since you have learned
absolutely nothing,
518
00:34:19,047 --> 00:34:22,676
I am hereby stripping you
of all your princess points.
519
00:34:23,527 --> 00:34:27,361
- Ooh, that's voodoo. That's cold.
- You can't do that.
520
00:34:27,407 --> 00:34:31,116
When I think Noxee and I decided
to take pity on this Latin boy in drag
521
00:34:31,167 --> 00:34:35,763
- and bring her along with us...
- "Noxee and l"? Uh, uh, uh.
522
00:34:35,807 --> 00:34:40,403
No, no! Noxee didn't decide anything.
Noxee got dragged into this.
523
00:34:40,447 --> 00:34:44,725
What about the two of you
leaving poor Miss Vida
524
00:34:44,767 --> 00:34:48,965
at the hands of this possibly dead
Sheriff Dullard
525
00:34:49,007 --> 00:34:53,398
and you stayed stuck
in this car like Mary Jo Kopechne?
526
00:34:53,447 --> 00:34:55,119
(Gasps)
527
00:34:56,127 --> 00:34:58,641
O dear and oft-thanked Wong Foo,
528
00:34:58,687 --> 00:35:02,680
it's not that I'm asking for help
but if something, anything...
529
00:35:02,727 --> 00:35:07,278
If somebody gave me back my
princess points, I would get us a ride.
530
00:35:07,327 --> 00:35:10,364
How can you hitchhike
if there are no cars, stupid?
531
00:35:10,407 --> 00:35:14,685
You don't know me very well.
I'm the Latina Marilyn Monroe.
532
00:35:14,727 --> 00:35:17,719
I got more legs
than a bucket of chicken.
533
00:35:17,767 --> 00:35:20,201
(Chi Chi muttering in Spanish)
534
00:35:20,247 --> 00:35:22,886
She'll get kidnapped
by some mountain man
535
00:35:22,927 --> 00:35:24,918
and we will have to rescue her.
536
00:35:24,967 --> 00:35:28,004
Why she always gotta have
the last word, huh?
537
00:35:47,727 --> 00:35:49,718
You need a ride?
538
00:35:49,767 --> 00:35:51,883
Yeah! Our car died over there
539
00:35:51,927 --> 00:35:55,681
and I just need to go
pick up my friends, all right?
540
00:35:55,727 --> 00:35:57,524
Hop in.
541
00:36:13,247 --> 00:36:17,240
Get inside.
I got us a ride to Spidersville.
542
00:36:17,287 --> 00:36:19,278
(Man) That's Snydersville.
543
00:36:20,407 --> 00:36:22,284
Thank you, Wong Foo.
544
00:36:27,287 --> 00:36:29,596
- Hi.
- Hi.
545
00:36:29,647 --> 00:36:31,638
Thank you.
546
00:37:18,287 --> 00:37:21,757
Well, ladies,
welcome to Snydersville.
547
00:37:21,807 --> 00:37:23,604
Thank you.
548
00:37:25,047 --> 00:37:29,006
- Virgil! Carol Ann!
- OK...
549
00:37:29,847 --> 00:37:31,644
(Whistles)
550
00:37:33,527 --> 00:37:35,722
Virgil?
551
00:37:35,767 --> 00:37:37,564
Carol Ann?
552
00:37:39,727 --> 00:37:42,799
And you thought
the Dust Bowl was over?
553
00:37:44,087 --> 00:37:48,956
- Bobby Ray, is that you?
- It sure is. Is Virgil in?
554
00:37:50,247 --> 00:37:54,684
- Virgil. It's Bobby Ray. You in?
- No.
555
00:37:54,727 --> 00:37:56,718
He's in.
556
00:37:56,767 --> 00:37:59,804
Tell him we got a big Cadillac
broke down upside the road.
557
00:37:59,847 --> 00:38:02,600
He's got a big Cadillac broke down.
558
00:38:02,647 --> 00:38:06,276
- So?
- He'll be right down.
559
00:38:15,687 --> 00:38:17,678
OK, well, this is it.
560
00:38:17,727 --> 00:38:21,083
Here you got your bathroom,
you got towels.
561
00:38:21,127 --> 00:38:24,437
If you want anything, holler.
We'll put your bags in the hall.
562
00:38:24,487 --> 00:38:26,955
You've got an overhead light here.
563
00:38:27,007 --> 00:38:29,885
- Go get it.
- That's not cool.
564
00:38:31,207 --> 00:38:34,279
You girls all did want to be
in the same room.
565
00:38:34,327 --> 00:38:38,764
Do you, by chance, have a room
that's possibly more inhabitable?
566
00:38:39,887 --> 00:38:42,037
This is the presidential suite.
567
00:38:42,087 --> 00:38:46,399
Must have been
one of those bad presidents.
568
00:38:46,447 --> 00:38:49,245
You seem a little tired
so I'll leave you be.
569
00:38:49,287 --> 00:38:52,643
Your car should be ready tomorrow.
It's only one night.
570
00:38:52,687 --> 00:38:57,522
- Excuse me.
- There's no toilet.
571
00:38:57,567 --> 00:38:59,364
You know what I think?
572
00:38:59,407 --> 00:39:02,956
The last black person
to stay here was Sam Cooke.
573
00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:05,157
"'The fates must despise me
574
00:39:05,207 --> 00:39:07,721
"'for I am doomed
to spend the rest of my days
575
00:39:07,767 --> 00:39:10,156
"'in this miserable cell.'
576
00:39:10,207 --> 00:39:12,243
"The rest of her days?
577
00:39:12,287 --> 00:39:16,280
"Suddenly, from out of the darkness
came evidence to the contrary.
578
00:39:16,327 --> 00:39:18,636
"'By the sword of my father
before me,
579
00:39:18,687 --> 00:39:22,236
"'I, Juan Carlos la Noche
will rescue Princess Laritza."'
580
00:39:22,287 --> 00:39:26,485
I think tomorrow
I'll wear a say-something hat.
581
00:39:26,527 --> 00:39:30,281
I think tomorrow
is a say-something hat day.
582
00:39:32,887 --> 00:39:36,482
"'I'm here to save you,
Princess Laritza.'
583
00:39:36,527 --> 00:39:39,917
"'You are my knight
in shining armour."'
584
00:39:57,247 --> 00:39:59,397
(Birdsong)
585
00:40:12,567 --> 00:40:15,957
Why do I feel like I'm in
the Tournament Of Roses Parade?
586
00:40:16,007 --> 00:40:18,760
- Because you're as big as a float?
- Your mother.
587
00:40:18,807 --> 00:40:20,877
- Thank you.
- OK.
588
00:40:20,927 --> 00:40:25,318
As soon as I get to a town with a bus
I'm out of here. Howdy, y'all.
589
00:40:25,367 --> 00:40:27,517
Hello.
590
00:40:29,327 --> 00:40:32,364
For girls,
they're sure strong and big.
591
00:40:32,407 --> 00:40:35,399
- Brunell?
- Virgil.
592
00:40:35,447 --> 00:40:39,725
Oh, Virgil.
So how long will she take to fix?
593
00:40:39,767 --> 00:40:43,396
- All of five minutes.
- Oh, my goodness. Thank you.
594
00:40:43,447 --> 00:40:45,597
When I get the part.
595
00:40:45,647 --> 00:40:50,880
See, I don't have any Cadillac parts,
especially no old ones.
596
00:40:50,927 --> 00:40:55,637
- I can order it for Monday.
- It's Saturday morning now.
597
00:40:55,687 --> 00:40:58,884
- What do we do till Monday?
- You got to wait.
598
00:40:58,927 --> 00:41:02,124
Oh, no, no, no, no!
People are waiting for me.
599
00:41:02,167 --> 00:41:05,079
(All talking at once)
600
00:41:05,127 --> 00:41:09,484
Ladies. Ladies.
You're just gonna have to wait.
601
00:41:10,527 --> 00:41:13,803
- Maybe Virgil can call his friend...
- Carol Ann.
602
00:41:16,487 --> 00:41:18,603
Excuse me.
603
00:41:18,647 --> 00:41:21,480
What are we gonna do now,
Miss Know-lt-All?
604
00:41:21,527 --> 00:41:23,438
- Hello.
- What are we gonna do?
605
00:41:23,487 --> 00:41:25,557
We will have to stay here till Monday
606
00:41:25,607 --> 00:41:29,839
and get to know this lovely town
and its inhabit... ants.
607
00:41:30,567 --> 00:41:33,559
Excuse me. What are you gawking at?
608
00:41:34,967 --> 00:41:37,959
What are you gonna do about it?
609
00:41:38,007 --> 00:41:40,123
Nothing.
610
00:41:40,167 --> 00:41:44,160
I love roughnecks. If I was your bread,
would you be my butter?
611
00:41:44,207 --> 00:41:46,675
(Noxeema) My God.
This is my idea of hell!
612
00:41:46,727 --> 00:41:50,117
- Careful.
- Who is their art director? Ma Joad?
613
00:41:50,167 --> 00:41:53,318
We will make the most of it. Watch.
614
00:41:53,367 --> 00:41:56,803
Pardon me, kind sirs. Pardon me.
615
00:41:56,847 --> 00:41:59,122
Thank you.
616
00:41:59,167 --> 00:42:01,806
My name is Vida Boheme
of the Manhattan Bohemes
617
00:42:01,847 --> 00:42:05,556
and my travelling companions and I
618
00:42:05,607 --> 00:42:08,599
will be staying in your fair hamlet
for the weekend.
619
00:42:08,647 --> 00:42:13,243
Are there some historical points of
interest that we should not miss?
620
00:42:15,687 --> 00:42:20,556
She can't hear and she don't talk.
She's just a little...
621
00:42:21,727 --> 00:42:23,445
Oh. Oh...
622
00:42:23,487 --> 00:42:28,436
There's nothing interesting here
for you, you're from New York City.
623
00:42:28,487 --> 00:42:31,285
But we'll try to be accommodating.
624
00:42:33,407 --> 00:42:36,046
Well, er, thank you.
625
00:42:38,167 --> 00:42:39,600
Pardon me.
626
00:42:39,647 --> 00:42:44,960
But let's just all suck it up
and make this place tolerable, OK?
627
00:42:45,007 --> 00:42:48,761
Now, ready?
Operation Decorator Storm.
628
00:42:52,887 --> 00:42:56,675
# Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman
629
00:42:57,447 --> 00:43:01,360
# All the world is waiting for you
630
00:43:01,407 --> 00:43:04,126
# And the power you possess
631
00:43:04,167 --> 00:43:09,082
# In your satin tights
Fighting for your rights
632
00:43:09,127 --> 00:43:13,279
# And the old red, white and blue
633
00:43:14,887 --> 00:43:16,684
# Wonder Woman
634
00:43:18,847 --> 00:43:20,565
# Wonder Woman
635
00:43:22,247 --> 00:43:24,044
# Wonder Woman
636
00:43:26,047 --> 00:43:28,800
# Wonder Woman
637
00:43:28,847 --> 00:43:31,839
# You're a wonder,
Wonder Woman #
638
00:43:40,887 --> 00:43:42,764
- That's him.
- Jeez!
639
00:43:47,527 --> 00:43:50,325
- This guy's living.
- You think?
640
00:43:50,367 --> 00:43:53,916
- Sheriff Dullard?
- Dollard here.
641
00:43:53,967 --> 00:43:56,640
- Your badge says Dullard.
- It's a misprint.
642
00:43:56,687 --> 00:44:00,805
- Sheriff, what happened here?
- I was attacked.
643
00:44:03,847 --> 00:44:06,520
- (Woman) Hello, Loretta.
- Hello.
644
00:44:06,567 --> 00:44:11,960
Alcoholic. Low self-esteem.
Her daddy used to call her Baby Ugly.
645
00:44:12,007 --> 00:44:14,965
She took to the bottle
as soon as she could swallow.
646
00:44:15,927 --> 00:44:20,284
Over there. Her and her husband
ain't had sex for nearly seven years.
647
00:44:20,327 --> 00:44:25,242
Another mess is the youngest
of the Budd family over there.
648
00:44:25,287 --> 00:44:28,802
Poor thing, he's got a sad little...
st-st-st-stutter.
649
00:44:28,847 --> 00:44:32,396
It'd bring a tear to your eye.
Then there's Clara.
650
00:44:32,447 --> 00:44:35,598
You can say anything to her.
She don't hear, she can't talk.
651
00:44:35,647 --> 00:44:37,444
- She can't hear you?
- No.
652
00:44:37,487 --> 00:44:39,955
Your stockings are falling down!
653
00:44:40,007 --> 00:44:45,365
There's no medical reason. Ever since
her husband lost the movie theatre
654
00:44:45,407 --> 00:44:49,878
and he run off with that lady film -
what do you call it? - Distributor.
655
00:44:49,927 --> 00:44:54,603
Oh! Now, over there is Jimmy Joe,
who runs the Rooster and Pony.
656
00:44:55,807 --> 00:44:58,799
He is the nicest coloured man
you'd ever want to meet.
657
00:45:00,687 --> 00:45:02,837
Robert Mitchum?
658
00:45:04,487 --> 00:45:07,877
Yoo-hoo!
Excuse me, you forgot something!
659
00:45:07,927 --> 00:45:10,395
Hello! Excuse me!
660
00:45:10,447 --> 00:45:12,677
You forgot your picture!
661
00:45:12,727 --> 00:45:16,515
I picked it up because
I didn't want it to get dragged...
662
00:45:16,567 --> 00:45:20,037
Oh, no, girlfriend...
Did you just do a U-ie?
663
00:45:21,127 --> 00:45:26,485
Oh, girl. I'm coming.
I'm a-coming! I'm gonna get you.
664
00:45:26,527 --> 00:45:28,279
I'm just trying to give you back...
665
00:45:28,327 --> 00:45:30,158
Ooh! Ow!
666
00:45:30,207 --> 00:45:32,198
I don't find this funny any more.
667
00:45:32,247 --> 00:45:35,284
Sheriff Dollard,
we've read your filed report
668
00:45:35,327 --> 00:45:38,080
regarding the assault
in your jurisdiction
669
00:45:38,127 --> 00:45:42,120
and we should ask a few questions
before we pursue this case.
670
00:45:42,167 --> 00:45:45,284
First off,
with regards to the assailant,
671
00:45:45,327 --> 00:45:50,560
are we correct in summarising, if
we can clarify matters by saying that...
672
00:45:50,607 --> 00:45:52,916
you got beat up by a girl?
673
00:45:58,127 --> 00:46:00,197
They were not girls.
674
00:46:00,247 --> 00:46:04,604
They were boys, three of them,
and one of them was black.
675
00:46:05,727 --> 00:46:09,845
- May we see Exhibit A?
- Found at the scene of the crime.
676
00:46:09,887 --> 00:46:11,286
All right!
677
00:46:11,327 --> 00:46:14,683
They were dressed up like girls
but they were boys.
678
00:46:15,727 --> 00:46:19,356
You sons of bitches.
Don't laugh at me!
679
00:46:19,407 --> 00:46:23,559
I was attacked by perverts!
If you won't do something, I will!
680
00:46:23,607 --> 00:46:27,885
- Mrs Dollard...
- Give me the shoe.
681
00:46:27,927 --> 00:46:31,158
- Mrs Dollard.
- Shut up. Just shut up!
682
00:46:31,207 --> 00:46:33,801
I'm gonna bring back three corpses.
683
00:46:33,847 --> 00:46:36,202
And when you look up their dresses
684
00:46:36,247 --> 00:46:39,478
if you don't find something
you shouldn't find,
685
00:46:39,527 --> 00:46:42,087
- I don't know what.
- (Laughter)
686
00:47:05,247 --> 00:47:07,238
I was a Fresh-Air Fund kid.
687
00:47:07,287 --> 00:47:11,644
They used to take us troubled kids
into the country for picnics...
688
00:47:16,047 --> 00:47:18,880
I didn't know
it was gonna be a party.
689
00:47:21,647 --> 00:47:25,560
I would have dressed for it.
Liquorice, anyone?
690
00:47:31,887 --> 00:47:36,358
I guess it's a poker party, you got
all your players, you don't need me.
691
00:47:36,407 --> 00:47:38,637
Looksies, no feelsies.
692
00:47:43,567 --> 00:47:46,798
Anybody read any good books lately?
693
00:47:46,847 --> 00:47:50,157
(Horn honks)
694
00:47:53,567 --> 00:47:56,525
Come on!
695
00:48:00,927 --> 00:48:03,487
That's how you pick up a lady.
696
00:48:09,287 --> 00:48:11,801
Carol Ann, darling,
we need more towels.
697
00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:16,159
We've gone through the first 14
but, you know, girl stuff.
698
00:48:16,207 --> 00:48:20,200
- Are you crying?
- No. Just chopping onions.
699
00:48:20,247 --> 00:48:24,126
TVW - the very worst.
Quick household hint, if I may.
700
00:48:24,167 --> 00:48:26,920
Put these on
and it will shield your eyes...
701
00:48:26,967 --> 00:48:30,482
- No, don't.
- Oh, darling, what happened?
702
00:48:30,527 --> 00:48:31,721
Nothing.
703
00:48:31,767 --> 00:48:35,396
You are going to have a shiner,
put a steak on that.
704
00:48:35,447 --> 00:48:38,484
These boxes
dropped on me from that closet.
705
00:48:38,527 --> 00:48:41,405
Anyway,
I got to get this dinner ready.
706
00:48:44,567 --> 00:48:47,081
- Oh, oh! May I?
- What's that?
707
00:48:47,127 --> 00:48:49,641
Just a little spice.
708
00:48:49,687 --> 00:48:52,997
- A little paprika...
- No, don't! No, don't!
709
00:48:54,047 --> 00:48:56,800
- We don't use spices here.
- I am sorry.
710
00:48:56,847 --> 00:48:59,998
- Virgil does not like it.
- I'm just pushy.
711
00:49:00,047 --> 00:49:03,483
Virgil does like his way,
doesn't he?
712
00:49:05,167 --> 00:49:07,840
You're very observant.
713
00:49:07,887 --> 00:49:10,924
As a matter of fact...
714
00:49:10,967 --> 00:49:14,357
I can't help but observe right now
715
00:49:14,407 --> 00:49:18,036
that there are
no chopped onions anywhere.
716
00:49:20,447 --> 00:49:24,599
I think that maybe you'd better
just let me finish this alone.
717
00:49:25,647 --> 00:49:28,002
Surely.
718
00:49:32,087 --> 00:49:35,921
And the box in the closet?
Good one, darling.
719
00:49:35,967 --> 00:49:40,006
I used to tell people that when
my father called me cruel names,
720
00:49:40,047 --> 00:49:43,039
it was just because
of his sense of humour.
721
00:49:45,287 --> 00:49:47,278
If you need more towels,
722
00:49:47,327 --> 00:49:51,320
you'll find them in the closet
down at the end of the hallway.
723
00:50:03,967 --> 00:50:05,878
Hello.
724
00:50:05,927 --> 00:50:07,918
I brought your picture back.
725
00:50:07,967 --> 00:50:10,117
You dropped it earlier and...
726
00:50:10,167 --> 00:50:12,556
Thank you. You're welcome.
727
00:50:16,847 --> 00:50:20,203
Wow. Miss Thing got
some stuff in here.
728
00:50:22,327 --> 00:50:24,443
Mind if I sit?
729
00:50:26,127 --> 00:50:28,925
(Sighs) Whoo!
730
00:50:28,967 --> 00:50:32,846
That little run you took me on
really took a lot out of me.
731
00:50:33,887 --> 00:50:37,038
Not that I'm not in shape
or anything, but...
732
00:50:45,167 --> 00:50:48,045
Those boys didn't hurt you,
did they, Miss Chi Chi?
733
00:50:48,087 --> 00:50:50,362
Just a little bit, Bobby.
734
00:50:50,407 --> 00:50:53,126
Nothing time won't heal. Thank you.
735
00:50:54,087 --> 00:50:58,000
Look at your eyes. They as blue
as window cleaner, Bobby Lee.
736
00:50:58,047 --> 00:51:00,845
That's Bobby Ray.
Bobby Lee's a girl.
737
00:51:00,887 --> 00:51:03,640
I'm sorry. Is that your girlfriend?
738
00:51:03,687 --> 00:51:07,726
No, I don't got one of those.
A girlfriend, I mean. I got a name -
739
00:51:07,767 --> 00:51:09,962
Bobby Ray but you know that.
740
00:51:14,407 --> 00:51:18,719
Sorry. They have a mind of their own,
you know. My goodness.
741
00:51:19,767 --> 00:51:23,316
My God, that was so brave
what you did back over there.
742
00:51:23,367 --> 00:51:24,561
Aw...
743
00:51:24,607 --> 00:51:28,395
You were just like a regular
knight in shining pick-up truck.
744
00:51:28,447 --> 00:51:32,042
- Stop it.
- What time are you due...
745
00:51:32,087 --> 00:51:34,476
Bobby! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
746
00:51:40,967 --> 00:51:43,162
That's so romantical.
747
00:51:45,167 --> 00:51:48,557
God. I don't have the words.
748
00:51:51,007 --> 00:51:54,966
Don't cry, Miss Chi Chi.
Please don't cry.
749
00:51:55,007 --> 00:52:00,445
Miss Chi Chi, if you were my girl,
you'd never cry for anything,
750
00:52:00,487 --> 00:52:03,047
except maybe from happiness.
751
00:52:08,767 --> 00:52:10,962
You said a mouthful.
752
00:52:20,607 --> 00:52:22,723
- Let's go.
- All right.
753
00:52:36,127 --> 00:52:39,802
Don't think that I can't see you,
Miss Bobby Lee. Come, come.
754
00:52:41,447 --> 00:52:45,201
So, you are Virgil and Carol Ann's
eldest, am I right?
755
00:52:45,247 --> 00:52:47,761
Yeah. How did you know?
756
00:52:47,807 --> 00:52:50,446
I'm the eldest in my family, too.
757
00:52:50,487 --> 00:52:52,079
Wow.
758
00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:54,402
I picked these for your mom.
759
00:52:55,567 --> 00:52:59,037
They only grow in darkness and dank
760
00:52:59,087 --> 00:53:01,317
but sweetness, how they blossom.
761
00:53:02,167 --> 00:53:05,045
- You know a lot.
- Oh, please.
762
00:53:06,447 --> 00:53:09,564
I guess it's on account
of what you really are.
763
00:53:09,607 --> 00:53:12,565
Bobby Ray told me
what you really are.
764
00:53:13,607 --> 00:53:15,802
- He did?
- Yeah.
765
00:53:15,847 --> 00:53:18,407
You're a career girl.
766
00:53:18,447 --> 00:53:21,564
Oh! Yes. Yes.
767
00:53:21,607 --> 00:53:23,757
I could never be like that.
768
00:53:23,807 --> 00:53:26,879
Oh, no. You can be anything you want.
769
00:53:26,927 --> 00:53:29,839
You just imagine
good things happening
770
00:53:29,887 --> 00:53:32,799
- and you make them happen.
- Oh.
771
00:53:32,847 --> 00:53:38,319
Well, what if what I want to imagine
is a boy I want to go out with?
772
00:53:38,367 --> 00:53:41,882
You might want to set your sights
a tiny bit higher.
773
00:53:41,927 --> 00:53:46,205
Just to start off. Then I'll work
on the career-girl stuff.
774
00:53:46,247 --> 00:53:49,398
(Noxeema) Miss Vida thinks
that I don't have a dream.
775
00:53:49,447 --> 00:53:53,122
I'm not Martin Luther King.
I don't need a dream. I have a plan.
776
00:53:53,167 --> 00:53:58,082
I'm gonna tell you what it is
because I knew I could trust you,
777
00:53:58,127 --> 00:54:00,800
being as you're not a big talker
and everything.
778
00:54:00,847 --> 00:54:03,680
My plan is that, while in Hollywood,
779
00:54:03,727 --> 00:54:08,084
I will be approached by an eminent
producer - at the lvy, no doubt -
780
00:54:08,127 --> 00:54:10,960
to star in the lush film version
781
00:54:11,007 --> 00:54:14,716
of the life
of Miss Dorothy Dandridge.
782
00:54:15,967 --> 00:54:20,438
Oh, yes. That noble blacktress
who never played domestic help
783
00:54:20,487 --> 00:54:24,400
and whose career was crushed
by the white Hollywood machine.
784
00:54:24,447 --> 00:54:26,677
Homegirl ended up dying penniless.
785
00:54:26,727 --> 00:54:29,878
I can remember
almost everything she's ever done,
786
00:54:29,927 --> 00:54:33,886
from Serenade Sun Valley
to Bahama Passage.
787
00:54:33,927 --> 00:54:35,485
Gorgeous performance.
788
00:54:35,527 --> 00:54:39,486
After that was Hit Parade Of '43,
Drums Of The Congo.
789
00:54:39,527 --> 00:54:42,997
No, no, no - Drums Of The Congo,
then Hit Parade Of '43.
790
00:54:43,047 --> 00:54:44,924
Then between that and Carmen Jones
791
00:54:44,967 --> 00:54:47,435
she did something... Road.
Road... road.
792
00:54:47,487 --> 00:54:49,318
- Bright Road.
- Thank you.
793
00:54:49,367 --> 00:54:51,801
Carmen Jones
and then Island In The Sun
794
00:54:51,847 --> 00:54:55,317
and her co-star in Carmen Jones
was Miss Pearl Bailey,
795
00:54:55,367 --> 00:54:59,280
whose birthday I think should be
a national holiday.
796
00:55:02,247 --> 00:55:04,636
Did you say something?
797
00:55:07,047 --> 00:55:09,959
Carmen Jones,
then Island In The Sun,
798
00:55:10,007 --> 00:55:14,683
then Decks Ran Red,
then, oh, yes, Porgy And Bess.
799
00:55:14,727 --> 00:55:18,800
Oh, spectacular.
Then there was... er... er...
800
00:55:18,847 --> 00:55:21,998
- Tamango.
- Tamango...
801
00:55:23,927 --> 00:55:25,519
Malaga.
802
00:55:26,487 --> 00:55:28,762
Malaga.
803
00:55:28,807 --> 00:55:31,082
Honey, when did you
start talking?
804
00:55:31,127 --> 00:55:34,517
Wanna try Lena Horne?
805
00:55:34,567 --> 00:55:36,285
Go, girl.
806
00:55:36,327 --> 00:55:39,125
Feature debut, 1942.
807
00:55:39,167 --> 00:55:41,203
(Both) Panama Hattie!
808
00:55:42,887 --> 00:55:46,038
That's wonderful.
That is just wonderful.
809
00:55:46,087 --> 00:55:49,045
You're not gonna start
walking across water
810
00:55:49,087 --> 00:55:51,521
and making the blind see, are you?
811
00:56:00,967 --> 00:56:03,845
You put spices in here.
812
00:56:03,887 --> 00:56:06,082
Some fell in. I scooped them out.
813
00:56:09,047 --> 00:56:13,802
You do this to make me mad.
Why do you want to make me mad?
814
00:56:13,847 --> 00:56:16,566
- I scooped them out.
- Why are you arguing with me?
815
00:56:16,607 --> 00:56:19,485
- I'm not.
- You want me to hit you?
816
00:56:27,447 --> 00:56:29,438
Take them out.
817
00:56:42,967 --> 00:56:44,400
- Jimmy Jay?
- Joe.
818
00:56:44,447 --> 00:56:46,119
- Joe Jay.
- Jimmy Joe.
819
00:56:46,167 --> 00:56:48,635
Can we have one ladies' cocktail...
820
00:56:48,687 --> 00:56:50,359
- Miss Clara!
- I know her.
821
00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:53,763
- Hey, girl.
- Hi, sweetie. Sit here.
822
00:56:53,807 --> 00:56:56,480
- Hi. I'm Noxeema.
- How do you do?
823
00:56:56,527 --> 00:56:59,280
- Noxeema Jackson.
- Noxeema?
824
00:56:59,327 --> 00:57:02,205
Uh-huh. Jesse's daughter.
825
00:57:02,247 --> 00:57:04,920
So, Beatrice,
what are we working on?
826
00:57:04,967 --> 00:57:08,039
We are working on decorations
for the Strawberry Social.
827
00:57:08,087 --> 00:57:10,840
- Strawberry Social?
- The biggest thing in these parts.
828
00:57:10,887 --> 00:57:14,323
We're doing it tomorrow.
We all make strawberry pies,
829
00:57:14,367 --> 00:57:18,519
we take them into the centre of town,
then we eat the strawberry pies.
830
00:57:19,607 --> 00:57:21,837
Then we go home.
831
00:57:23,327 --> 00:57:26,399
Oh, lovely! Une f�te champ�tre.
832
00:57:26,447 --> 00:57:28,438
- May I?
- Oh, please.
833
00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:31,285
Is there music and dancing and...?
834
00:57:31,327 --> 00:57:36,037
We used to have a hollering contest
but some people didn't like it.
835
00:57:36,087 --> 00:57:39,716
We give out ribbons
for the best strawberry pie.
836
00:57:39,767 --> 00:57:42,042
- This party craves a theme.
- Theme?
837
00:57:42,087 --> 00:57:45,284
What do strawberries say
to anyone here?
838
00:57:46,047 --> 00:57:48,720
Well, erm...
839
00:57:48,767 --> 00:57:51,679
Strawberries are red.
840
00:57:51,727 --> 00:57:54,400
Good. That's a start.
841
00:57:54,447 --> 00:57:57,883
- Wild strawberries.
- Yes, wonderful!
842
00:57:58,727 --> 00:58:01,799
- Red and wild. That's your theme.
- What?
843
00:58:01,847 --> 00:58:07,558
Red and wild is our theme.
You know what we should have today?
844
00:58:07,607 --> 00:58:11,122
- A day with the girls.
- A day with the girls.
845
00:58:11,167 --> 00:58:15,877
Somebody has to drive me
to Greenville. Come on.
846
00:58:15,927 --> 00:58:21,126
A day with the girls,
like in New York high society!
847
00:58:21,167 --> 00:58:23,158
Merna, what's a day
with the girls?
848
00:58:23,207 --> 00:58:26,677
Katina,
first you do volunteer work
849
00:58:26,727 --> 00:58:29,082
and then you get your hair done,
850
00:58:29,127 --> 00:58:31,004
then you pick out a new outfit
851
00:58:31,047 --> 00:58:33,607
and then you go sit
in a caf� and talk.
852
00:58:33,647 --> 00:58:36,605
I've never heard
that expression before.
853
00:58:36,647 --> 00:58:39,400
I'm Merna. I run the beauty parlour.
854
00:58:39,447 --> 00:58:41,802
Beauty parlour?
855
00:58:45,767 --> 00:58:47,758
Here, here it is!
856
00:58:49,527 --> 00:58:50,926
Oh!
857
00:59:05,327 --> 00:59:07,318
(Cow moos)
858
00:59:56,967 --> 00:59:59,765
(Boy) Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
859
00:59:59,807 --> 01:00:02,037
Man! Look at that!
860
01:00:02,087 --> 01:00:05,841
It's like living
in a Tex Avery cartoon.
861
01:00:05,887 --> 01:00:08,242
I think we should
just ignore them.
862
01:00:08,287 --> 01:00:11,404
Oh, no, no, no.
Noxee, please, no.
863
01:00:11,447 --> 01:00:13,597
What's all this noise?
864
01:00:14,647 --> 01:00:18,322
Oh, baby.
You are a whole lot of woman.
865
01:00:18,367 --> 01:00:20,358
I know what you need.
866
01:00:20,407 --> 01:00:23,205
I hardly think you're the man
to give it to me.
867
01:00:23,247 --> 01:00:26,637
- Oh, no?
- Tough talk.
868
01:00:30,487 --> 01:00:32,955
Thank you.
869
01:00:33,007 --> 01:00:36,124
I think you should apologise to me.
870
01:00:37,927 --> 01:00:41,363
And I also think you should
apologise to those ladies.
871
01:00:41,407 --> 01:00:44,843
I ain't apologising to no ladies.
No way.
872
01:00:44,887 --> 01:00:46,445
No way.
873
01:00:46,487 --> 01:00:50,526
Just as I expected.
Well... do you like my nails?
874
01:00:55,327 --> 01:00:57,124
Walk.
875
01:00:58,367 --> 01:01:01,404
What can I say?
She's had a difficult life.
876
01:01:02,367 --> 01:01:05,882
What did you say your name was?
Your name?
877
01:01:05,927 --> 01:01:08,077
- Tommy.
- Tommy, Tommy.
878
01:01:08,127 --> 01:01:11,802
Well, Tommy, this is Miss Vida
and Miss Clara
879
01:01:11,847 --> 01:01:14,805
and this is Miss Katina
and Miss Merna,
880
01:01:14,847 --> 01:01:18,726
Miss Loretta and of course
Miss Little Bobby Lee.
881
01:01:18,767 --> 01:01:22,157
Now, Tommy, when you encounter
such gorgeous ladies,
882
01:01:22,207 --> 01:01:25,517
the correct way to greet them
is to say,
883
01:01:25,567 --> 01:01:29,480
"Good afternoon, ladies."
Can you say that, Tommy?
884
01:01:31,167 --> 01:01:32,805
Good afternoon, ladies.
885
01:01:32,847 --> 01:01:36,237
Unless it's the evening
and then you say what?
886
01:01:36,287 --> 01:01:38,323
Good evening, ladies.
887
01:01:38,367 --> 01:01:41,245
Go home, take a bath, comb your hair
888
01:01:41,287 --> 01:01:44,597
and please put on a clean shirt
when you step outside.
889
01:01:44,647 --> 01:01:47,923
It's an affront
to the very delicacy of my nature.
890
01:01:51,487 --> 01:01:53,478
Miss Clara.
891
01:01:59,207 --> 01:02:02,677
You just got to know
how to talk to people.
892
01:02:02,727 --> 01:02:05,844
And a four and a five
893
01:02:05,887 --> 01:02:07,878
and a six
894
01:02:07,927 --> 01:02:11,237
and a seven and a eight.
895
01:02:11,287 --> 01:02:13,164
Children, and one.
896
01:02:13,207 --> 01:02:15,198
Pli� on two.
897
01:02:15,247 --> 01:02:18,125
And three, opening four.
898
01:02:19,327 --> 01:02:21,716
Come, come, come.
899
01:02:23,167 --> 01:02:25,362
Hello, you handsome thing.
900
01:02:26,647 --> 01:02:30,879
- All right. No colours.
- No. No. No. No.
901
01:02:30,927 --> 01:02:34,886
We just have-have
w-what's on the f-floor.
902
01:02:36,247 --> 01:02:41,719
- We're not gonna have much luck.
- It is looking somewhat serious.
903
01:02:41,767 --> 01:02:44,281
- (Noxeema screams)
- What?
904
01:02:44,327 --> 01:02:47,842
- Oh, my God!
- What? Speak to me.
905
01:02:47,887 --> 01:02:50,321
Oh! Oh...
906
01:02:51,887 --> 01:02:55,357
Oh! Oh! I can't believe it! Oh!
907
01:02:56,567 --> 01:02:59,764
Look! They're from the Sixties!
908
01:03:00,447 --> 01:03:05,282
There's a whole bunch of it,
there's something for everybody.
909
01:03:05,327 --> 01:03:09,036
T-That's just s-stuff my grandma bought
w-when she opened.
910
01:03:09,087 --> 01:03:13,763
It never s-s-s-sold
and she never s-s-s-sent it b-b-back
911
01:03:13,807 --> 01:03:17,163
and we were gonna g-give it
to Good-Good-Good...
912
01:03:17,207 --> 01:03:18,799
Good-Good-Good...
913
01:03:18,847 --> 01:03:22,442
- Can you believe? I can't believe!
- Good-Good-Good...
914
01:03:22,487 --> 01:03:25,718
Look at this. Look, look.
915
01:03:25,767 --> 01:03:28,565
Oh, Miss Clara,
you're gonna look like Emma Peel.
916
01:03:28,607 --> 01:03:30,996
Ooh! Sorry.
917
01:03:31,047 --> 01:03:33,322
Goodwill.
918
01:03:35,167 --> 01:03:39,445
- Yes. For me.
- No, no, no. No, this is mine.
919
01:03:39,487 --> 01:03:43,400
Oh, there's this fringe, honey.
I think I'm gonna black out.
920
01:03:43,447 --> 01:03:46,359
# Another time
Another place
921
01:03:46,407 --> 01:03:49,763
# A little Maybelline
to spread on my face, well
922
01:03:49,807 --> 01:03:53,595
# Lace underwear
A tube of Nair
923
01:03:53,647 --> 01:03:56,764
# Make up my eyes
and I tease out my hair, yeah... #
924
01:03:56,807 --> 01:03:59,321
- # Polish my pumps... #
- Good afternoon.
925
01:03:59,367 --> 01:04:00,925
# And I pull on some hose
926
01:04:00,967 --> 01:04:04,198
# Break out my clothes,
yeah, I need to unload
927
01:04:04,247 --> 01:04:07,876
# It makes me feel so mighty real
928
01:04:07,927 --> 01:04:11,761
# Run in my stockings
hey, it ain't no big deal
929
01:04:11,807 --> 01:04:16,244
# Turn it out
You've got to turn it out... #
930
01:04:16,287 --> 01:04:19,120
This book has been
sort of a Bible for me
931
01:04:19,167 --> 01:04:21,158
and, well... here.
932
01:04:23,167 --> 01:04:24,805
"DV.
933
01:04:24,847 --> 01:04:28,760
"The Au-au-autobiography Of Diana
934
01:04:28,807 --> 01:04:30,445
"V-Vreeland."
935
01:04:30,487 --> 01:04:33,445
And l-I-I-I should read this?
936
01:04:34,447 --> 01:04:37,883
Oh, hon, you should commit
sections to memory.
937
01:04:37,927 --> 01:04:40,919
Check yourself, Loretta,
before you wreck yourself.
938
01:04:40,967 --> 01:04:44,004
# Shine up the runway
while I powder my nose
939
01:04:44,047 --> 01:04:46,845
# Turn on the spotlight
Gonna strike up a pose
940
01:04:46,887 --> 01:04:50,880
# Well, for savoir faire, more derri�re... #
941
01:04:50,927 --> 01:04:53,361
- (# Disco music continues)
- Oh...!
942
01:04:54,767 --> 01:04:57,759
# Turn it out
You've got to turn it out
943
01:04:57,807 --> 01:05:02,244
# Looking like a luminary,
extraordinary, sing it... #
944
01:05:05,967 --> 01:05:09,755
Acting real proud of yourself
like a New York City girl, huh?
945
01:05:14,607 --> 01:05:18,077
- God! It's still too spicy.
- I scooped them out...
946
01:05:18,127 --> 01:05:21,756
Don't argue with me because
if you argue, you're gonna lose.
947
01:05:21,807 --> 01:05:24,082
- It's too goddamn hot!
- No!
948
01:05:26,647 --> 01:05:29,957
(Noxeema) Eartha... (Purrs)
Miss Kitt to you.
949
01:05:30,007 --> 01:05:33,920
Dinah Washington
sitting on this shelf getting dusty!
950
01:05:33,967 --> 01:05:38,119
Honey, we should play these.
The air should be filled with music.
951
01:05:38,167 --> 01:05:40,886
(# Eartha Kitt: Je Cherche Un Homme)
952
01:05:45,407 --> 01:05:46,999
# Je cherche un homme... #
953
01:05:47,047 --> 01:05:49,163
- Here, put this on.
- Oh, no.
954
01:05:49,207 --> 01:05:52,040
- Why?
- No, I can't do that. It's too big.
955
01:05:52,087 --> 01:05:54,681
It can never be too big.
Here, put this on.
956
01:05:54,727 --> 01:05:56,718
Come on. Dance with me.
957
01:05:56,767 --> 01:06:00,646
# Peu m'importe comment il se nomme
958
01:06:00,687 --> 01:06:04,919
# S'il est un homme, un homme,
un homme... #
959
01:06:06,927 --> 01:06:10,237
"That season,
we were loaded with pizzazz,
960
01:06:10,287 --> 01:06:12,562
"earrings of fuchsia and peach.
961
01:06:13,567 --> 01:06:17,003
"Mind you, peach.
962
01:06:17,047 --> 01:06:19,800
"And hats. Hats, hats, hats.
963
01:06:19,847 --> 01:06:22,600
"Hats for career girls.
964
01:06:24,127 --> 01:06:26,083
"How I adored Paris."
965
01:06:26,127 --> 01:06:29,358
Jimmy Joe, this is not
just a restaurant any more.
966
01:06:29,407 --> 01:06:31,762
You have turned it
into a lovely caf�.
967
01:06:32,767 --> 01:06:34,598
A caf�?
968
01:06:34,647 --> 01:06:38,606
Now slap a dollar surcharge
on every bill out here. Paid for.
969
01:06:38,647 --> 01:06:41,480
Thank you, my little Miss Vida.
970
01:06:41,527 --> 01:06:44,599
I've got a secret romance.
Couldn't you just lose it?
971
01:06:44,647 --> 01:06:48,686
- To say the least.
- I got a secret romance, too.
972
01:06:48,727 --> 01:06:50,604
Oh, shut up. For real?
973
01:06:50,647 --> 01:06:53,844
And this secret romance
is very handsome, I hear.
974
01:06:53,887 --> 01:06:55,002
Miss Vida!
975
01:06:55,047 --> 01:06:58,960
Mine, too. What a coinky-dinky.
And he's so sweet.
976
01:06:59,007 --> 01:07:02,317
Mine, too.
And, oh, he's so strong.
977
01:07:02,367 --> 01:07:05,962
Let me tell you,
my papi is built like a brick...
978
01:07:06,007 --> 01:07:09,124
- Let's go.
- Ow! What's the matter with you?
979
01:07:09,167 --> 01:07:14,036
Bobby Lee, listen. The way
to make things happen is imagine.
980
01:07:16,727 --> 01:07:18,524
Imagine.
981
01:07:19,687 --> 01:07:24,841
(# Eartha Kitt: Je Cherche Un Homme)
982
01:07:24,887 --> 01:07:30,120
# He doesn't have to be
handsome as a picture
983
01:07:30,167 --> 01:07:34,479
# An ordinary guy's
all right with me... #
984
01:07:34,527 --> 01:07:36,518
(Sobbing)
985
01:07:41,527 --> 01:07:44,360
Oh, Carol Ann, what on earth...?
986
01:07:44,407 --> 01:07:46,762
I'm just so clumsy. I mean...
987
01:07:47,807 --> 01:07:50,526
Virgil yelled at me.
I mean, he called out to me.
988
01:07:50,567 --> 01:07:53,877
And, well, I just spilled the stew.
989
01:07:54,327 --> 01:07:58,525
Hon, do you, like,
ever not cry in this room?
990
01:08:01,847 --> 01:08:03,838
(Laughter and quiet chatter)
991
01:08:09,607 --> 01:08:12,724
(Noxeema) Oooh! Guess what I see.
992
01:08:12,767 --> 01:08:15,520
- I spy with my little eye.
- What is this?
993
01:08:15,567 --> 01:08:17,956
Somebody's coming courting.
994
01:08:18,967 --> 01:08:21,879
Miss Vida, I just kept thinking
it was happening.
995
01:08:21,927 --> 01:08:23,838
I imagined just like you said.
996
01:08:23,887 --> 01:08:26,720
Is that who you have
your little brown roots set on?
997
01:08:26,767 --> 01:08:28,883
- Yeah.
- Shush.
998
01:08:28,927 --> 01:08:30,918
(Chi Chi) No, mamita, please!
999
01:08:33,887 --> 01:08:37,482
- Evening, ladies.
- (All) Good evening, Bobby Ray.
1000
01:08:38,287 --> 01:08:41,085
I come to ask somebody out
to the sociable.
1001
01:08:41,127 --> 01:08:44,005
- Well, I declare.
- I declare.
1002
01:08:44,047 --> 01:08:46,686
- I declare.
- I decline.
1003
01:08:47,847 --> 01:08:52,045
Well, er, it's tomorrow afternoon,
so I best be asking.
1004
01:08:52,087 --> 01:08:54,521
(Clears throat)
1005
01:08:55,487 --> 01:08:59,275
- Bobby Lee?
- Yes, Bobby Ray?
1006
01:08:59,327 --> 01:09:02,876
Could you do me a favour
and take the little ones inside?
1007
01:09:02,927 --> 01:09:06,124
I need to talk to
Miss Chi Chi Rodriguez in private.
1008
01:09:10,367 --> 01:09:13,359
Bobby Lee, mamita,
don't be so sensitive.
1009
01:09:13,407 --> 01:09:16,444
- Bobby Lee!
- She's so sensitive.
1010
01:09:16,487 --> 01:09:20,002
(Vida) Bobby Lee.
(Chi Chi) I didn't know it'd happen.
1011
01:09:21,087 --> 01:09:24,966
- Er, Miss Chi Chi...
- Won't you come back in an hour?
1012
01:09:25,007 --> 01:09:29,478
- Er...
- Shh. Just say yes. OK. I'll see you.
1013
01:09:35,607 --> 01:09:39,077
It's absolutely
out of the question.
1014
01:09:39,127 --> 01:09:41,960
You're not my mamas
and you can't stop me.
1015
01:09:42,007 --> 01:09:45,966
Darling, you most certainly will not
be going out with Mr Bobby Ray.
1016
01:09:46,007 --> 01:09:48,157
Why not? We got a lot in common.
1017
01:09:48,207 --> 01:09:51,324
For starters, the same business
in between your legs.
1018
01:09:51,367 --> 01:09:53,164
Poinky-poinky-poink-poink!
1019
01:09:53,207 --> 01:09:55,641
If he gets a whiff
of your wiles, darling...
1020
01:09:55,687 --> 01:09:58,838
It's the "why I'm always right
and you're wrong" song
1021
01:09:58,887 --> 01:10:01,526
sung by
her lonely breasteses herself.
1022
01:10:01,567 --> 01:10:04,479
What do you know about relationships?
1023
01:10:04,527 --> 01:10:07,360
- I mean, who loves you, baby?
- Be quiet, Chi Chi.
1024
01:10:07,407 --> 01:10:12,162
Nobody, that's who.
Not even your rich mommy and daddy.
1025
01:10:12,207 --> 01:10:15,916
Oh, oh! I know what this is about.
This is about jealousy
1026
01:10:15,967 --> 01:10:20,199
because I'm going out with a cute boy
and you ain't. Hello, goodbye.
1027
01:10:20,247 --> 01:10:24,399
You are deceiving that child. That boy
does not know which end is up
1028
01:10:24,447 --> 01:10:27,917
and you know that Miss Bobby Lee
is in love with him.
1029
01:10:27,967 --> 01:10:29,844
So what if she is?
1030
01:10:29,887 --> 01:10:33,357
Maybe I want something?
What's wrong with that?
1031
01:10:33,407 --> 01:10:35,523
Miss Girl
is dealing with some demons.
1032
01:10:35,567 --> 01:10:40,357
- I will not allow you to play games.
- Allow? Allow!
1033
01:10:40,407 --> 01:10:44,002
There are human rules
by which we operate, sweetheart.
1034
01:10:44,047 --> 01:10:46,845
I'm so sick of
this freakazoid white lady
1035
01:10:46,887 --> 01:10:52,200
telling a black lady and a Latin lady
which way is up, down and under.
1036
01:10:52,247 --> 01:10:56,445
You can laugh but I hope you pack
that Cadillac because I'm staying.
1037
01:10:56,487 --> 01:11:00,844
You're staying? Well, Miss Jennifer
Holliday, go ahead and stay.
1038
01:11:00,887 --> 01:11:02,445
Don't forget to write.
1039
01:11:02,487 --> 01:11:05,047
She truly does have
a pi�ata for a head.
1040
01:11:05,087 --> 01:11:06,884
Don't go there, Vida.
1041
01:11:06,927 --> 01:11:09,566
She's an oppressive gringa
with a pinga.
1042
01:11:09,607 --> 01:11:12,360
- All right, y'all.
- You are a puta Spanish fly.
1043
01:11:12,407 --> 01:11:15,922
- Don't go there.
- You are an uptight, cellulite,
1044
01:11:15,967 --> 01:11:17,719
fossil-face, cracker witch.
1045
01:11:17,767 --> 01:11:21,077
Listen to me, you little
sway-backed, Third World...
1046
01:11:21,127 --> 01:11:24,164
- She went there.
...selfish piece of street trash!
1047
01:11:24,207 --> 01:11:26,198
You're the selfish one,
1048
01:11:26,247 --> 01:11:29,796
bossing people's lives around
without them even asking you,
1049
01:11:29,847 --> 01:11:31,803
Mrs Ann Landers pain in my culo.
1050
01:11:32,367 --> 01:11:34,722
- How dare you think that...
- (Raised voices)
1051
01:11:34,767 --> 01:11:36,564
What is that noise?
1052
01:11:36,607 --> 01:11:41,442
You want to know? That's you
running into everybody's house...
1053
01:11:41,487 --> 01:11:43,398
Shut up, Chi Chi!
1054
01:11:43,447 --> 01:11:46,757
(Chi Chi) When I look at you,
it makes me want to throw up.
1055
01:11:46,807 --> 01:11:50,880
- Virgil's beating up Carol Ann.
- Most likely.
1056
01:11:50,927 --> 01:11:53,157
Well, we have to help her.
1057
01:11:53,207 --> 01:11:56,244
No, no. Vida,
there are times when you help people
1058
01:11:56,287 --> 01:11:59,245
and then there are times
when if you help people,
1059
01:11:59,287 --> 01:12:03,599
you ends up being killed,
so you don't help people.
1060
01:12:03,647 --> 01:12:05,922
She trusts me and I trust her.
1061
01:12:05,967 --> 01:12:09,357
There's a fine line
between trust and stupidity
1062
01:12:09,407 --> 01:12:13,525
and there's people you don't trust
cos they will stab you in the ribs.
1063
01:12:13,567 --> 01:12:16,639
I thought you had learned
a little bit more than this.
1064
01:12:16,687 --> 01:12:19,076
You need to mind your own business.
1065
01:12:19,127 --> 01:12:22,802
What is going on upstairs
has nothing to do with you.
1066
01:12:22,847 --> 01:12:25,202
You deal with what's going on
right here.
1067
01:12:25,247 --> 01:12:28,398
Mami, save it.
Everybody's business is her business.
1068
01:12:28,447 --> 01:12:31,644
You go ahead, girl.
You're gonna get screwed.
1069
01:12:31,687 --> 01:12:34,997
You're not a queen
because you sit on a throne,
1070
01:12:35,047 --> 01:12:38,164
you're a queen because
you couldn't cut it as a man
1071
01:12:38,207 --> 01:12:40,323
so you had to put on a dress.
1072
01:12:42,807 --> 01:12:45,002
- What did you say?
- You heard me.
1073
01:12:45,047 --> 01:12:47,038
I've had quite enough...
1074
01:12:50,127 --> 01:12:52,243
(Carol Ann and Virgil arguing)
1075
01:12:57,287 --> 01:12:59,323
(Virgil) What the hell?
1076
01:12:59,367 --> 01:13:01,323
Vida, please. No. It's OK.
1077
01:13:01,367 --> 01:13:04,723
Carol Ann, I'm sorry
but I cannot take this any more.
1078
01:13:04,767 --> 01:13:08,157
Noxee, could you take care
of Miss Carol Ann?
1079
01:13:08,207 --> 01:13:11,199
Virgil and I
have something we must discuss.
1080
01:13:12,807 --> 01:13:15,367
So, I gather you like hitting ladies.
1081
01:13:15,407 --> 01:13:18,524
Some ladies need to get hit.
1082
01:13:18,567 --> 01:13:22,003
Then, conversely,
some men need to be hit back.
1083
01:13:27,287 --> 01:13:31,280
Oh, God.
Virgil's gonna hurt Vida so bad.
1084
01:13:31,327 --> 01:13:35,559
Carol Ann, there's something
you should know about Vida, mami.
1085
01:13:35,607 --> 01:13:37,199
Well...
1086
01:13:37,247 --> 01:13:40,637
Vida works out. Vida works out.
1087
01:13:40,687 --> 01:13:42,439
A lot.
1088
01:14:01,047 --> 01:14:03,038
All right, move ahead.
1089
01:14:10,007 --> 01:14:11,918
All right, go ahead.
1090
01:14:16,767 --> 01:14:18,564
Move on.
1091
01:14:21,807 --> 01:14:25,959
Oh, man, sometimes I think we should
just get rid of all the men.
1092
01:14:26,007 --> 01:14:29,397
(Vida) Well, not all of us...
them are bad.
1093
01:14:29,447 --> 01:14:31,722
We just need to get rid of
all the men.
1094
01:14:31,767 --> 01:14:34,520
(Noxeema)
You're just post-traumatised.
1095
01:14:34,567 --> 01:14:39,402
Well, maybe Mr Rogers.
I mean, he just seems sensitive.
1096
01:14:39,447 --> 01:14:43,998
- Well, Mel Gibson. He has a cute can.
- Oh, please!
1097
01:14:44,047 --> 01:14:47,642
Yeah. He can stay but
he's not allowed to think or speak.
1098
01:14:57,247 --> 01:14:58,805
Psst!
1099
01:15:03,367 --> 01:15:04,959
Shh!
1100
01:15:12,727 --> 01:15:17,164
My goodness. You're always on time.
And twice as sweet as usual.
1101
01:15:18,567 --> 01:15:21,240
I guess you're never gonna
disappoint me.
1102
01:15:21,287 --> 01:15:26,077
How could I disappoint you? I'm your
knight in a shiny pick-up, remember?
1103
01:15:26,127 --> 01:15:31,838
Of course I remember. My knight
in shining whatever that was.
1104
01:15:31,887 --> 01:15:36,039
Oh, God, it's so beautiful
out tonight, isn't it?
1105
01:15:36,087 --> 01:15:37,645
Yeah.
1106
01:15:37,687 --> 01:15:40,759
My whole life
I've always wanted someone
1107
01:15:40,807 --> 01:15:43,526
who will understand
how I felt inside
1108
01:15:43,567 --> 01:15:46,764
and someone who
would hold me for always
1109
01:15:46,807 --> 01:15:49,879
and then you showed up
and you were it.
1110
01:15:50,927 --> 01:15:54,397
You make me feel like
the most perfect girl.
1111
01:15:54,447 --> 01:15:57,757
I don't have to do that.
You are the perfect girl.
1112
01:15:57,807 --> 01:16:00,765
- Sorry, no.
- I mean it. You're beautiful.
1113
01:16:00,807 --> 01:16:04,720
- Please.
- You've got class, glamour.
1114
01:16:04,767 --> 01:16:06,758
- Shut up.
- You're exotic.
1115
01:16:06,807 --> 01:16:09,082
Stop.
1116
01:16:09,127 --> 01:16:11,004
Oh, don't stop.
1117
01:16:11,047 --> 01:16:15,882
And there's something about
the way that you talk, you know.
1118
01:16:15,927 --> 01:16:18,885
Like no-nonsense. Like...
1119
01:16:18,927 --> 01:16:22,715
You'd never lie to me,
you'd never keep a secret from me.
1120
01:16:22,767 --> 01:16:24,803
I really respect that. I do.
1121
01:16:26,447 --> 01:16:28,597
What is it?
1122
01:16:28,647 --> 01:16:30,524
What did I say?
1123
01:16:30,567 --> 01:16:32,922
I was...
1124
01:16:32,967 --> 01:16:35,003
If you really love someone,
1125
01:16:35,047 --> 01:16:38,164
you could keep
one big secret from them.
1126
01:16:41,287 --> 01:16:43,596
- No.
- No?
1127
01:16:43,647 --> 01:16:48,357
I really feel that if you love somebody
with all of your heart,
1128
01:16:48,407 --> 01:16:52,446
then you could never
keep a secret from them.
1129
01:16:52,487 --> 01:16:56,275
You couldn't even sit on
one little teeny lie?
1130
01:16:56,327 --> 01:16:58,318
- No.
- No.
1131
01:16:58,367 --> 01:17:00,562
No matter how big or how small.
1132
01:17:05,327 --> 01:17:06,521
Oh...
1133
01:17:06,567 --> 01:17:11,800
(Carol Ann) We're saving Mel Gibson.
(Vida) With a gag.
1134
01:17:11,847 --> 01:17:15,522
(Carol Ann) Right. Mr Rogers,
Keanu Reeves, Denzel Washington...
1135
01:17:15,567 --> 01:17:18,240
- And...
- And Bobby Ray.
1136
01:17:19,567 --> 01:17:22,320
Yeah, you mustn't forget
about Bobby Ray.
1137
01:17:24,647 --> 01:17:28,435
Bobby Lee, I've been thinking about
a lot of things lately
1138
01:17:28,487 --> 01:17:32,605
and I don't want Bobby Ray
because he's such a local, right?
1139
01:17:32,647 --> 01:17:34,638
So go ahead. You can have him.
1140
01:17:34,687 --> 01:17:38,521
Just take him. He's yours, baby.
Go ahead and take him.
1141
01:17:38,567 --> 01:17:41,877
- Good for you.
- Chi Chi.
1142
01:17:41,927 --> 01:17:45,283
- What?
- That was so very generous of you,
1143
01:17:45,327 --> 01:17:50,082
putting someone else's needs
before your own. It was special.
1144
01:17:50,127 --> 01:17:52,766
It was step three.
1145
01:17:52,807 --> 01:17:57,403
Absolutely step three.
Abide by the rules of love.
1146
01:17:58,847 --> 01:18:03,318
- Really utterly fabulous. Sit here.
- Here, honey.
1147
01:18:04,687 --> 01:18:06,837
Chi Chi...
1148
01:18:08,127 --> 01:18:11,642
I am so very sorry that I called you
1149
01:18:11,687 --> 01:18:15,600
a sway-backed, Third World
little whatever. I didn't mean it.
1150
01:18:15,647 --> 01:18:18,525
It's all right, baby. I deserved it.
1151
01:18:18,567 --> 01:18:20,239
And I'm sorry I called you
1152
01:18:20,287 --> 01:18:23,962
a dinosaur, cellulite,
white trash farty old white woman.
1153
01:18:28,167 --> 01:18:30,397
- Forgiven?
- Forgiven.
1154
01:18:31,727 --> 01:18:34,958
- You are lovely.
- You're too much.
1155
01:18:35,007 --> 01:18:38,204
Are you serious about Bobby Ray,
Miss Chi Chi?
1156
01:18:38,247 --> 01:18:41,444
Baby, you can have him.
I've got a million dream lovers.
1157
01:18:41,487 --> 01:18:43,796
I've got a broken heart
for every light on Broadway
1158
01:18:43,847 --> 01:18:48,079
and when one goes out, I just
screw in another one. Hello, goodbye.
1159
01:18:50,927 --> 01:18:52,883
I think I see him.
1160
01:18:53,607 --> 01:18:56,804
No... Moses.
1161
01:18:56,847 --> 01:19:01,238
I have lived in apartments that
weren't half as big as these pores.
1162
01:19:01,287 --> 01:19:05,485
Let's stay positive. Bobby Lee,
just ignore your old Auntie Noxee
1163
01:19:05,527 --> 01:19:07,722
and look at that videotape there.
1164
01:19:07,767 --> 01:19:11,123
I know. That is Miss Anne Baxter
in The Ten Commandments
1165
01:19:11,167 --> 01:19:13,681
and those are the moves.
1166
01:19:13,727 --> 01:19:17,356
(Noxeema) All right, let's see.
She needs more lips.
1167
01:19:17,407 --> 01:19:20,046
- I can't.
- You can and you will, darling.
1168
01:19:20,087 --> 01:19:22,476
But I'm not Miss Anne Baxter.
1169
01:19:22,527 --> 01:19:24,438
No one is asking you to be.
1170
01:19:24,487 --> 01:19:28,924
Just take her strength, her mystery,
her moves and you find your own.
1171
01:19:28,967 --> 01:19:31,879
If you want them to know
that there is steak for dinner,
1172
01:19:31,927 --> 01:19:35,715
you've got to let them
hear it sizzle. Understand?
1173
01:19:35,767 --> 01:19:37,519
- Yeah.
- All right.
1174
01:19:37,567 --> 01:19:39,285
- Thanks.
- Best of luck.
1175
01:19:39,327 --> 01:19:41,124
Time to make the donuts.
1176
01:19:41,167 --> 01:19:43,317
Chi Chi, he won't like me.
1177
01:19:43,367 --> 01:19:46,598
Trust me.
He's gonna love you, all right?
1178
01:19:46,647 --> 01:19:49,400
Baby, you got the look, mami.
1179
01:19:49,447 --> 01:19:53,122
You certainly do. Do that eye thing
I taught you, right?
1180
01:19:53,167 --> 01:19:58,446
That's right. And be honest with him,
all right? He deserves that.
1181
01:19:58,487 --> 01:20:01,957
- Thanks.
- I got to go. I got cramps.
1182
01:20:04,367 --> 01:20:05,766
Momma!
1183
01:20:15,487 --> 01:20:17,318
Chi Chi?
1184
01:20:17,367 --> 01:20:20,120
Bobby Ray, come here.
1185
01:20:23,367 --> 01:20:25,358
Hello?
1186
01:20:25,407 --> 01:20:27,637
Oh! Hello.
1187
01:20:29,207 --> 01:20:31,357
Bobby Lee!
1188
01:20:31,407 --> 01:20:34,524
- Roberta.
- Oh, Roberta.
1189
01:20:36,047 --> 01:20:39,835
Wow. You really look pretty.
1190
01:20:40,927 --> 01:20:44,078
Sure is a pretty dress
you're wearing.
1191
01:20:44,127 --> 01:20:46,402
Oh, this old thing?
1192
01:20:48,527 --> 01:20:51,200
Well... Roberta...
1193
01:20:51,247 --> 01:20:53,442
would you...?
1194
01:20:55,087 --> 01:20:59,126
Wow. You really look good
in that dress.
1195
01:20:59,167 --> 01:21:02,318
Oh, Bobby Ray, Bobby Ray, Bobby Ray.
1196
01:21:04,287 --> 01:21:06,562
Would you like to dance with me?
1197
01:21:06,607 --> 01:21:09,997
(# Johnny Mathis:
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me)
1198
01:21:19,847 --> 01:21:23,157
- # Hold me, hold me... #
- Miss Beatrice,
1199
01:21:23,207 --> 01:21:26,995
- I've waited 23 years to ask you this.
- # Never let me go until you've told me #
1200
01:21:27,047 --> 01:21:30,517
- May I have this dance?
- My gracious.
1201
01:21:30,567 --> 01:21:33,206
# What I want to know
1202
01:21:33,247 --> 01:21:37,479
# And then just hold me, hold me
1203
01:21:37,527 --> 01:21:42,840
# Make me tell you
I'm in love with you
1204
01:21:48,167 --> 01:21:51,443
# Thrill me, thrill me
1205
01:21:51,487 --> 01:21:56,641
# Walk me down the lane
where shadows will be
1206
01:21:56,687 --> 01:22:03,365
# Will be hiding lovers
just the same as we'll be
1207
01:22:03,407 --> 01:22:13,885
# We'll be when you make me
tell you I love you
1208
01:22:15,327 --> 01:22:22,005
# They told me
be sensible with your new love
1209
01:22:22,047 --> 01:22:26,563
# Don't be fooled thinking
this is the last you'll find... #
1210
01:22:26,607 --> 01:22:28,962
- You know, pumpkins?
- What?
1211
01:22:29,007 --> 01:22:31,567
Sometimes it just takes a fairy.
1212
01:22:33,647 --> 01:22:35,683
(Vida sighs)
1213
01:22:35,727 --> 01:22:37,683
(Noxeema sighs)
1214
01:22:37,727 --> 01:22:43,199
- (Chi Chi sighs)
#... drive me slowly out of my mind
1215
01:22:43,247 --> 01:22:46,125
# Kiss me
# Kiss me
1216
01:22:46,167 --> 01:22:48,123
# And when you do
1217
01:22:48,167 --> 01:22:51,682
# I know that you will miss me
# Miss me... #
1218
01:22:51,727 --> 01:22:54,924
Men, acting like women.
1219
01:22:56,447 --> 01:23:00,599
Men wanting to be with one another,
men touching each other.
1220
01:23:01,727 --> 01:23:06,118
Their stubbly chins
rubbing up against one another.
1221
01:23:09,527 --> 01:23:11,563
Touching each other.
1222
01:23:12,807 --> 01:23:14,843
Manly hands...
1223
01:23:17,047 --> 01:23:19,242
touching swirls of chest hair.
1224
01:23:21,687 --> 01:23:26,203
An occasional whiff
of a rugged aftershave.
1225
01:23:29,607 --> 01:23:32,519
Their low, baritone voices...
1226
01:23:32,567 --> 01:23:35,286
sighing, grunting.
1227
01:23:37,727 --> 01:23:42,881
They hold one another
in manly, masculine arms.
1228
01:23:42,927 --> 01:23:45,361
Hold one another.
1229
01:23:49,167 --> 01:23:51,283
Tight.
1230
01:24:11,527 --> 01:24:15,315
- How you doing?
- OK, I'm doing OK.
1231
01:24:15,367 --> 01:24:18,803
- (Barman) What can I get you?
- Bourbon.
1232
01:24:28,087 --> 01:24:31,796
- This your shoe?
- No, that ain't my shoe.
1233
01:24:33,407 --> 01:24:36,843
I'm looking for the person
that wore that shoe.
1234
01:24:45,887 --> 01:24:49,243
- Now the ratchet.
- The ratchet...
1235
01:24:50,287 --> 01:24:55,759
You know, if I can get this to work,
you may get this baby on the road.
1236
01:24:55,807 --> 01:24:58,560
Really? That would be wonderful.
1237
01:24:58,607 --> 01:25:03,727
Of course, I'm sure you'll be wanting
to stick around
1238
01:25:03,767 --> 01:25:06,759
for the Strawberry Social
this afternoon.
1239
01:25:06,807 --> 01:25:09,196
- Now, Vida...
- Ca...
1240
01:25:10,767 --> 01:25:13,042
You know,
1241
01:25:13,087 --> 01:25:17,205
I wouldn't be lying
if I were to say...
1242
01:25:18,247 --> 01:25:21,444
that I was really gonna miss you.
1243
01:25:21,487 --> 01:25:26,720
I think it's really important
for a woman to have lady friends.
1244
01:25:28,487 --> 01:25:30,318
Oh, Carol Ann, I...
1245
01:25:32,767 --> 01:25:37,477
If we're going to be friends, there
really is something I should tell you.
1246
01:25:37,527 --> 01:25:40,724
- Adam's apple?
- What?
1247
01:25:40,767 --> 01:25:45,079
Adam's apple.
Women don't have Adam's apples.
1248
01:25:45,127 --> 01:25:48,085
Only men have Adam's apples.
1249
01:25:48,127 --> 01:25:50,118
The first night you came to town,
1250
01:25:50,167 --> 01:25:54,126
I noticed that you had yourself
an Adam's apple.
1251
01:25:55,687 --> 01:25:58,679
- Then you know?
- I know...
1252
01:26:00,087 --> 01:26:04,478
that I'm very fortunate
to have a lady friend
1253
01:26:04,527 --> 01:26:07,724
who just happens to have
an Adam's apple.
1254
01:26:09,407 --> 01:26:11,967
Let's just see what we got here.
1255
01:26:14,127 --> 01:26:17,085
- (Engine starts)
- Ooh!
1256
01:26:17,127 --> 01:26:19,038
You did it. Yes!
1257
01:26:20,607 --> 01:26:23,644
God, I ain't ever gonna be right.
1258
01:26:23,687 --> 01:26:26,121
(Police radio, indistinct)
1259
01:26:47,607 --> 01:26:49,484
Ta-da!
1260
01:26:50,247 --> 01:26:52,238
How do I look?
1261
01:26:52,287 --> 01:26:55,677
Like the Miami Sound Machine
just exploded all over you.
1262
01:26:56,727 --> 01:27:00,686
(Dollard) We have the town
surrounded. There's no escape.
1263
01:27:00,727 --> 01:27:03,321
I know there's drag queens
around here.
1264
01:27:03,367 --> 01:27:06,564
Just come out with your hands up,
no one will get hurt.
1265
01:27:08,767 --> 01:27:13,522
Oh, what fresh hell is this?
It's possibly-dead Sheriff Dollard.
1266
01:27:14,767 --> 01:27:17,361
(Chi Chi) He doesn't look dead.
1267
01:27:17,407 --> 01:27:21,639
I know them drag queens is here,
I'm not leaving without them!
1268
01:27:25,247 --> 01:27:28,284
None of you good people
need get involved.
1269
01:27:28,327 --> 01:27:31,125
All I want's them drag queens.
1270
01:27:31,167 --> 01:27:33,522
Don't protect these freaks!
1271
01:27:34,047 --> 01:27:36,117
I know they're hiding here,
1272
01:27:36,167 --> 01:27:39,557
these weirdos coming in here,
these boys in dresses.
1273
01:27:39,607 --> 01:27:41,677
What? Boys in dresses?
1274
01:27:42,727 --> 01:27:45,082
Corrupting you
with their way of life,
1275
01:27:45,127 --> 01:27:48,517
changing the way
things have always been!
1276
01:27:48,567 --> 01:27:51,479
I really don't think
that's what you want!
1277
01:27:57,967 --> 01:28:00,765
Whoever belongs to this shoe...
1278
01:28:00,807 --> 01:28:03,002
come forward now!
1279
01:28:37,607 --> 01:28:39,996
There's Miss Vida, come on.
1280
01:28:58,047 --> 01:29:00,641
I believe that shoe is mine.
1281
01:29:01,647 --> 01:29:04,286
- You ain't the one.
- She's not the one.
1282
01:29:04,327 --> 01:29:06,795
Back off, Virgil.
1283
01:29:08,727 --> 01:29:10,763
I am a drag queen.
1284
01:29:10,807 --> 01:29:13,480
I know there's drag queens
in this town!
1285
01:29:17,967 --> 01:29:20,959
And I ain't leaving
till they get out here!
1286
01:29:23,887 --> 01:29:28,165
- Can I have my shoe, please?
- You're a drag queen?
1287
01:29:28,207 --> 01:29:30,960
Nothing this pretty could be real.
1288
01:29:31,007 --> 01:29:33,123
You want to touch my boa?
1289
01:29:33,167 --> 01:29:37,126
That's my shoe. Ten and a half B,
girlfriend.
1290
01:29:37,167 --> 01:29:39,965
- I'm a boy in a dress.
- Give me a kiss, big boy.
1291
01:29:40,007 --> 01:29:42,601
- I'm the drag king.
- (Man) I'm a drag queen, too.
1292
01:29:42,647 --> 01:29:45,286
- Arrest us.
- I'm a drag queen over here.
1293
01:29:45,327 --> 01:29:48,399
So you can just
drag yourself on home.
1294
01:29:48,447 --> 01:29:52,235
- What you so afraid of?
- (All jeering)
1295
01:29:52,287 --> 01:29:55,723
You're gonna really regret this.
You're gonna regret this.
1296
01:29:55,767 --> 01:30:01,444
You have no idea how dangerous
these people really are!
1297
01:30:02,287 --> 01:30:05,279
No idea! You're gonna regret it!
1298
01:30:06,327 --> 01:30:10,002
All of you are gonna regret it!
I promise you will!
1299
01:30:54,007 --> 01:30:56,567
(Knocking at door)
1300
01:30:58,527 --> 01:31:00,199
Miss Vida?
1301
01:31:01,247 --> 01:31:03,044
Auntie Noxee?
1302
01:31:24,847 --> 01:31:28,157
- Are you hearing this?
- Yes.
1303
01:31:28,207 --> 01:31:32,883
I didn't even want to come here, now
these people are standing up for us?
1304
01:31:32,927 --> 01:31:35,760
You know, Vida...
1305
01:31:36,927 --> 01:31:39,441
you were absolutely right.
1306
01:31:39,487 --> 01:31:41,682
About what?
1307
01:31:41,727 --> 01:31:44,560
I mean, now I realise that...
1308
01:31:44,607 --> 01:31:47,440
you gotta take chances.
1309
01:31:47,487 --> 01:31:50,718
Because you never know,
you know what I mean?
1310
01:31:50,767 --> 01:31:54,123
I'm not gonna worry about
if people accept me or not.
1311
01:31:54,167 --> 01:31:58,479
I'm gonna make Hollywood
wherever I am at.
1312
01:32:02,047 --> 01:32:04,038
I would like...
1313
01:32:05,727 --> 01:32:08,195
Stand up, Vida.
1314
01:32:09,567 --> 01:32:11,956
I would like...
1315
01:32:12,007 --> 01:32:16,239
to go to Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania
1316
01:32:16,287 --> 01:32:20,075
and walk into that imitation
Tudor-style house...
1317
01:32:20,127 --> 01:32:22,402
Stand up, Vida. Stand up.
1318
01:32:22,447 --> 01:32:27,202
...and I will say,
"My name is Miss Vida Boheme."
1319
01:32:27,247 --> 01:32:30,637
- Go ahead, girl.
- "Your approval is not needed."
1320
01:32:30,687 --> 01:32:33,520
Approval neither desired
nor required.
1321
01:32:33,567 --> 01:32:36,923
"But I will take your acceptance."
1322
01:32:37,967 --> 01:32:43,041
Me, too. I'm gonna stand up
from now on, I'm going to.
1323
01:32:43,087 --> 01:32:45,647
And when I find
my honest and true love,
1324
01:32:45,687 --> 01:32:47,917
I'm never gonna let him go.
1325
01:32:47,967 --> 01:32:50,765
And I don't care
what my cousin Lisette says.
1326
01:32:50,807 --> 01:32:53,321
Everything I touch
doesn't turn into caca.
1327
01:32:53,367 --> 01:32:55,597
- What does she know?
- Right.
1328
01:32:55,647 --> 01:32:58,115
And I'm gonna try and find
a foundation
1329
01:32:58,167 --> 01:33:01,876
that's a little closer
to my actual skin tone.
1330
01:33:01,927 --> 01:33:04,043
(Crowd cheering)
1331
01:33:12,167 --> 01:33:15,125
Idiots! Look at them!
1332
01:33:16,167 --> 01:33:18,920
Look at them. Perverts.
1333
01:33:18,967 --> 01:33:23,438
When the founding fathers wrote
the Declaration of Independence
1334
01:33:23,487 --> 01:33:25,557
and the Constitution,
1335
01:33:25,607 --> 01:33:28,758
"Liberty and justice for all",
they didn't mean that.
1336
01:33:28,807 --> 01:33:32,482
I can tell you one thing about them
founding fathers of America.
1337
01:33:32,527 --> 01:33:36,679
- What's that?
- They sure had fabulous wigs.
1338
01:33:37,607 --> 01:33:39,996
(# Charisse Arrington:
Do What You Wanna Do)
1339
01:33:58,367 --> 01:34:01,086
# Do what you wanna do
1340
01:34:07,327 --> 01:34:09,397
# Do what you wanna do... #
1341
01:34:11,407 --> 01:34:13,363
You'd better feel it.
1342
01:34:15,727 --> 01:34:18,366
# Do what you wanna do
1343
01:34:25,007 --> 01:34:26,884
# Do what you wanna do... #
1344
01:34:29,287 --> 01:34:31,357
This is my Aunt Martha's dress.
1345
01:34:31,407 --> 01:34:34,797
I thought you could use it,
she was big in the shoulders.
1346
01:34:34,847 --> 01:34:38,601
- Thank you, girl.
- Oh, sweet pea.
1347
01:34:39,647 --> 01:34:43,481
Listen to your Auntie Vida.
I want you to believe in yourself,
1348
01:34:43,527 --> 01:34:47,679
imagine good things and moisturise,
I cannot stress this enough.
1349
01:34:47,727 --> 01:34:49,797
Miss Noxeema.
1350
01:34:49,847 --> 01:34:51,758
Miss Clara.
1351
01:34:51,807 --> 01:34:55,436
Now, listen,
when you get to Hollywood,
1352
01:34:55,487 --> 01:34:59,446
you give this letter
to Mr Robert Mitchum.
1353
01:34:59,487 --> 01:35:03,275
I will. I promise you.
I'll guard it with my life.
1354
01:35:03,327 --> 01:35:05,636
Thank you. I'm gonna miss you.
1355
01:35:05,687 --> 01:35:08,076
I'm gonna miss you, too.
1356
01:35:08,127 --> 01:35:10,687
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
1357
01:35:15,327 --> 01:35:19,206
I hope she leaves me those albums
in her will.
1358
01:35:19,247 --> 01:35:23,445
- All right. Can I hear it?
- Good afternoon.
1359
01:35:23,487 --> 01:35:27,275
Sounds wonderful. The shirt is fierce
and the hair is working.
1360
01:35:27,327 --> 01:35:30,080
Take care. Be good to yourself.
1361
01:35:30,127 --> 01:35:32,277
Vaya con Dios, Miss Chi Chi.
1362
01:35:32,327 --> 01:35:35,125
You ruin my language
and I still love you.
1363
01:35:35,167 --> 01:35:40,719
- These all grow wild around here.
- You all grow wild around here.
1364
01:35:40,767 --> 01:35:43,964
This reminds me of Princess Laritza
in Revenge Of The Wench.
1365
01:35:44,007 --> 01:35:46,316
Everybody thought she was dead
1366
01:35:46,367 --> 01:35:49,040
but she had taken
this magical concoction...
1367
01:35:49,087 --> 01:35:52,397
- Anyway, bye-bye.
- Bye.
1368
01:35:55,327 --> 01:35:57,238
Vida...
1369
01:36:00,687 --> 01:36:03,326
Come with us. Please?
1370
01:36:04,207 --> 01:36:07,040
Oh, Lord.
1371
01:36:07,087 --> 01:36:11,797
If you had any idea
of how many nights I've lain awake,
1372
01:36:11,847 --> 01:36:14,919
just thinking about
how to get out of here.
1373
01:36:14,967 --> 01:36:17,800
But it's my home.
1374
01:36:19,167 --> 01:36:22,159
Besides, I got these girls to raise.
1375
01:36:22,207 --> 01:36:24,198
I know.
1376
01:36:26,847 --> 01:36:29,042
I love you, Miss Vida Boheme.
1377
01:36:34,967 --> 01:36:39,597
I've waited my whole life to hear
those words said to that name.
1378
01:36:40,647 --> 01:36:43,923
And I'm very, very, very happy...
1379
01:36:43,967 --> 01:36:46,720
that you're the one to say them.
1380
01:36:52,207 --> 01:36:53,925
What...?
1381
01:36:57,367 --> 01:36:59,562
I have a lovely idea.
1382
01:37:05,367 --> 01:37:07,835
I want you to have this.
1383
01:37:08,887 --> 01:37:10,957
I don't know if
you know who she is...
1384
01:37:11,007 --> 01:37:14,966
It's Julie Newmar. I always thought
she was so statuesque.
1385
01:37:15,767 --> 01:37:17,962
My feelings exactly!
1386
01:37:21,607 --> 01:37:23,438
- Well...
- Well...
1387
01:37:32,527 --> 01:37:34,165
Vida!
1388
01:37:36,247 --> 01:37:38,807
I don't think of you as a man.
1389
01:37:38,847 --> 01:37:41,600
And I don't think of you
as a woman.
1390
01:37:42,647 --> 01:37:44,638
I think of you as an angel.
1391
01:37:46,327 --> 01:37:48,716
I think that's healthy.
1392
01:38:08,007 --> 01:38:10,316
(All shouting farewells)
1393
01:38:30,527 --> 01:38:32,518
(Drum roll)
1394
01:38:35,287 --> 01:38:37,357
(# Cyndi Lauper:
Hey Now - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun)
1395
01:38:37,407 --> 01:38:39,716
(Announcer) Ladies and gentlemen.
1396
01:38:41,047 --> 01:38:45,359
The winner of this year's
Drag Queen Of America contest...
1397
01:38:46,527 --> 01:38:48,836
# Hey, now. Hey, now
1398
01:38:48,887 --> 01:38:51,082
# What's the matter with you?
1399
01:38:51,127 --> 01:38:55,405
# Girls just wanna have fun now
# Yeah, yeah, yeah... #
1400
01:38:55,447 --> 01:38:59,486
(Noxeema) Step four. Larger than life
is just the right size.
1401
01:38:59,527 --> 01:39:04,043
#... my mother says, "When you gonna
live your life right?"...#
1402
01:39:04,087 --> 01:39:06,885
(Announcer) Miss Chi Chi Rodriguez!
1403
01:39:08,767 --> 01:39:12,965
#... and girls, they wanna have fun
1404
01:39:13,007 --> 01:39:18,161
# Whoa, girls, they wanna have
# Hey, now. Hey, now
1405
01:39:18,207 --> 01:39:20,482
# What's the matter with you?
1406
01:39:20,527 --> 01:39:25,078
# Girls just wanna have fun now... #
1407
01:39:25,127 --> 01:39:27,322
Presenting the crown,
1408
01:39:27,367 --> 01:39:30,439
Miss Julie Newmar!
1409
01:39:30,487 --> 01:39:34,560
#... what you gonna do with your life?
1410
01:39:34,607 --> 01:39:38,441
# Oh, Daddy dear,
you know you're still number one
1411
01:39:38,487 --> 01:39:41,320
# But girls, they wanna have fun
1412
01:39:42,567 --> 01:39:45,639
# Whoa, girls, they wanna have
1413
01:39:45,687 --> 01:39:50,124
# That's all they really want
1414
01:39:50,167 --> 01:39:54,126
# Some fun
1415
01:39:54,167 --> 01:39:58,240
# When the working day is done
1416
01:39:58,287 --> 01:40:02,565
# You know, girls,
they wanna have fun
1417
01:40:02,607 --> 01:40:06,077
# Come on
# Hey, now. Hey, now
1418
01:40:06,127 --> 01:40:08,197
# What's the matter with you?
1419
01:40:08,247 --> 01:40:11,876
# Girls just wanna have fun now
1420
01:40:11,927 --> 01:40:15,158
# Come on
# Hey, now. Hey, now
1421
01:40:15,207 --> 01:40:17,323
# What's the matter with you?
1422
01:40:17,367 --> 01:40:20,803
# Girls just wanna have fun now #
1423
01:40:20,847 --> 01:40:23,839
(# Chaka Khan: Free Yourself)
1424
01:40:26,327 --> 01:40:28,841
# Do you wanna be free, yeah?
1425
01:40:28,887 --> 01:40:31,879
# Oh, oh
1426
01:40:34,087 --> 01:40:36,157
# Do you wanna be free, yeah?
1427
01:40:37,287 --> 01:40:39,243
# Just free yourself
1428
01:40:41,007 --> 01:40:42,804
# Just free yourself
1429
01:40:44,047 --> 01:40:47,676
# Take a look at yourself
What do you see?
1430
01:40:47,727 --> 01:40:51,117
# A willing victim of mediocrity
1431
01:40:51,167 --> 01:40:55,285
# No one told you
you can't have it all
1432
01:40:55,327 --> 01:40:58,444
# It's time to act up and have a ball
1433
01:40:58,487 --> 01:41:00,478
# You've got to free yourself
1434
01:41:00,527 --> 01:41:02,916
# Gonna change that vibe
1435
01:41:02,967 --> 01:41:06,721
# Free yourself
# Leave the past behind
1436
01:41:06,767 --> 01:41:08,325
# See yourself
1437
01:41:08,367 --> 01:41:11,837
# In a different light
There is no one else
1438
01:41:11,887 --> 01:41:13,878
# Just free yourself
1439
01:41:14,847 --> 01:41:18,362
# There'll be those who say
what you're doing is wrong
1440
01:41:18,407 --> 01:41:21,956
# You can't listen to fools
You've got to be strong
1441
01:41:22,007 --> 01:41:26,080
# Close your eyes
any place that you can be
1442
01:41:26,127 --> 01:41:29,802
# Be what you want yourself to be
1443
01:41:29,847 --> 01:41:34,284
# I can show you how to go to
1444
01:41:34,327 --> 01:41:37,160
# To heaven
1445
01:41:37,207 --> 01:41:41,644
# Ordinary, it's left standing
1446
01:41:41,687 --> 01:41:44,520
# Just leave them in my past
1447
01:41:44,567 --> 01:41:46,603
# You've got to
# Free yourself
1448
01:41:46,647 --> 01:41:48,444
# Gotta change that vibe
1449
01:41:48,487 --> 01:41:52,196
# Why don't you be yourself?
# Leave the past behind
1450
01:41:52,247 --> 01:41:54,283
# It's time to see yourself
1451
01:41:54,327 --> 01:41:58,639
# In a different light
Ain't no one else, just free yourself
1452
01:41:59,727 --> 01:42:03,515
# Free yourself
# Free yourself
1453
01:42:03,567 --> 01:42:06,206
# Why don't you be yourself?
1454
01:42:07,567 --> 01:42:10,400
# It's time to see yourself
1455
01:42:12,967 --> 01:42:14,958
# Just free yourself
1456
01:42:15,007 --> 01:42:18,636
# Free yourself
1457
01:42:19,527 --> 01:42:23,202
# Be yourself
1458
01:42:23,247 --> 01:42:25,556
# See yourself
1459
01:42:25,607 --> 01:42:28,838
# In a new light
1460
01:42:28,887 --> 01:42:32,004
# Free yourself
1461
01:42:37,327 --> 01:42:40,603
# Free yourself
Free yourself
1462
01:42:40,647 --> 01:42:45,038
# Ooh, yeah
1463
01:42:46,647 --> 01:42:49,878
# Oh, oh
1464
01:42:51,327 --> 01:42:54,524
# Just free yourself
# Do you wanna be free, yeah?
1465
01:42:54,567 --> 01:42:58,640
# I can show you how to go to
1466
01:42:58,687 --> 01:43:01,599
# The head of your class
1467
01:43:01,647 --> 01:43:09,076
# Ordinary, it's left standing
# In the past
1468
01:43:09,127 --> 01:43:12,597
# Free yourself
# Gotta change that vibe
1469
01:43:12,647 --> 01:43:16,322
# Why don't you be yourself?
# Leave the past behind
1470
01:43:16,367 --> 01:43:18,835
# It's time to see yourself
1471
01:43:18,887 --> 01:43:22,357
# In a different light
1472
01:43:22,407 --> 01:43:24,637
# Just free yourself
1473
01:43:24,687 --> 01:43:27,759
# Free yourself
1474
01:43:27,807 --> 01:43:30,241
# Why don't you be yourself?
1475
01:43:30,287 --> 01:43:33,882
# Don't you want to be free?
# It's time to see yourself... #
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