All language subtitles for The.Wayans.Bros.S04E16_English

[instrumental music]

Spare change.

Hey, hey, hey,
look here.

This ain't Kosher.
You got to go somewhere else.

You're chasin'
my customers away.

I could stand where I want to.

It's a free country.

Of course, I might feel
like standin' somewhere
else

if I had some
positive
reinforcement.

Well, here.
Maybe that'll help you out.

Oh, will you look at that.

A whole nickel..

...and Canadian too.

Yeah, now, I could buy two
of them shirts you got on.

[both laughs]

Dee, Dee, do your job.

Alright. Alright,
let's move it
along.

I've kicked you out of
here
three times already.

Go!

Wow, Dee, I'm impressed.

Why, 'cause I was
so professional?

No, 'cause you didn't try
and give him your number.

Uh, is that a two or a seven?

Seven! Get out of here.

What you lookin' at?

That was the number

for the homeless shelter.

- Yeah.
- Oh, it's cold out there.

What's the deal, y'all?

- Hey.
- Hey, man.

I got this big audition
for this Martin Scorsese film

and, Shawn, my agent said
the role is perfect for me.

Really, I didn't know
Scorsese was doing a
film

about a 23-year-old virgin.

[laughs]

- Ha ha ha.
- Ha ha.

No, it's for homeless snitch.

I'm telling you, this
is supposed to be a big
movie

so, I'mma have to do
a lot of research

in order to get this role.

Well, baby boy, if you
want,
if it'll help you any

I could always throw
you
out of the apartment.

So you can get a good
feel
for the road.

[laughs]

Hey, hey, hey.
No, wait a
minute.

These tables
are for paying customers.

Okay, don't let me drag you
out of here again, come on--

Hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa,
Dee, don't throw him out.

Hold on. Shawn, I can use
that brother for research.

That there, is my little
dirty ticket to stardom.

Hey, don't be treatin' this
brother like he's some animal.

He's a human being.

That's right.
I'm a human being.

Finally found somebody
that, that cares.

Hey, get up off of me, man.

What the hell is that?

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're
singin'
and we're colored ♪

♪ Gimme a high five ♪♪

(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.
Beautiful, guys. Dynomite.'

[hip-hop music]

[instrumental music]

- Hey, what's up, kid?
- What's up, son?

How'd it go
down at the shelter?

Oh, man, that place is sad.

It's all run down,
filled with ugly people

who'd nowhere to go
and nothing to do.

That sounds like pop's diner.

Look at you, man,
you must be learnin' a lot.

I mean, you got to look down.

Look at you, you got your
little
hair all nappy, little crust

crust inside your eye
and white around your mouth.

You're doing a really good job
with your make up.

Boy, this ain't no damn make up.

Oh, my bad.

Come on.

Let's sit down and get to know
each other a little better.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, not that much
better, brother.

Here you go.

Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.

Paying.

Alright, man, look,
just give me a soda.

Alright, big ass bow tie?

And you gotta order too.

I'll have some hot water.

- Hot water, huh? That's all?
- Yeah.

You know, with hot water
we give a free side of soap.

Listen, Richie, man,
let me ask you some questions.

Um, when you rummaging
through garbage and stuff

how do you know what's
good garbage and bad garbage?

- You know..
- Oh.

It's all about survival, kid.

See, you-you take
whatever you
could..

...you could wear, eat or sell.

I feel you.

So, uh..

Is it true,
that to keep warm, you--

- Marlon.
- Hmm?

- Come here.
- What?

Shawn, I-I didn't steal
your five dollars..

Marlon, I hope
you're paying this
guy

to be your little lab rat.

Hey, shh.
What are you tryin' to do,
man?

- Be quiet before he hears
you.
- You're not paying him?

I can't believe
you're not paying him,
Marlon.

Hey, you think they paid
the outbreak monkey?

That brother
sittin' around going..

[imitating a monkey]

...money.

I'm telling you, man,
look, Shawn..

Besides, it's all a part
of being a good Somalian.

That's good Samaritan.

- What?
- Good Samaritan.

No, that brother is hungry
with flies all around him.

It's Somalian.

Marlon, I'm tellin' you, what
you're doing ain't right, kid.

I'm tellin' you,
listen,
you're using,
Marlon.

Y-y-you're using him, man.
You're pickin' his brain.

And you ain't givin'
him
nothin'. Come up.

Come up, man, Don't do that.

Alright, man.

Hey, uh, Richie, man, uh..

...how would you like me
to treat you a nice hot meal?

See, now, that's
a nice gesture right
there.

Be at our place at 7 o'clock.

What? Come here, stupid!

I didn't mean for you
to invite him at our
place.

Oh, what's the matter?

I ain't good enough
to eat at your place?

Why, 'cause he's black?

No, him being black
has nothin' to do with
it.

Besides, you don't know
if he's black for sure.

Underneath all that
dirt
he might be white.

[laughs]

Well, dag, man, I know
the brother's funky

but how many stick-ups
are you gonna put up?

Hey, Marlon, trust me,
when Richie walks up in here

smelling like a old navel..

...and some homogen cheese..

...and that funk come
up
in the air and hitch
you all

up in here,
you gonna thank me,
bro.

Yeah. He's so sticky he make
the roof of my mouth itch.

He-ey! Richie-e!

Right there, brother.
Right there.

Hey, I got, I got
y'all brothers a
present.

I didn't know
whether y'all was
fixin'

chicken, fish or beef.

A-ha!

Ooh! Thunderbird.

What doesn't go
with Thunderbird?

Well, I see you, uh,
tasted it for us already.

Thank you, Richie.

Hey, uh, Richie

since you
got us a little present

it's only fair that we
get you on, uh, here you go..

- Oh.
- It's from me and Marlon.

There you go.

Oh, you didn't have to do that.

Oh, yes, we did.

Get it all up in there.
Alright.

Uh, so did you have to bring
your house with you?

Somebody might steal somethin'.

Uh, just in case..

[car alarm beeps]

There's a whole lot of
low-lifes
in this neighborhood.

Hey, Richie, come here.

- Let me take your coat, man.
- Okay.

- Here you go.
- Hey, nice belt.

- Yo, man. Yo, that's fly.
- Oh, you like that?

No, you got flies
in your jacket.

Come on, man, let's sit down
and, uh, have a seat right
here.

Ah, here you go, Richie.

- Whoo! Ha!
- Richie.

- Lot better.
- Yeah.

Come on, man.

Alright.

Well, let's eat
while it's still
hot.

Hold on, hold on.

I wants to say grace.

Okay.

[laughs]

Heavenly father..

[choking]

...bless the hands

that had prepared this hot meal

and the kind hearts
that has brought me

to this humble hut.

Hold on.

Time out, Lord, time out.

Lay it, man.

You can't be sayin' all them

damn "H" words, alright?

Instead of "Have" say "Gots."

Brother, you ever heard
of a after-dinner mint?

Well, we can't wait that long.

Go on.

We, we don't always..

...we don't always appreciate
the small things in life..

...until they're gone.

So, let's be thankful
for the little that we got.

Amen.

- Amen.
- Amen, man.

Come on, Richie, I don't mean
to be diggin' all up

in your business, but, uh,
here you go, brother.

That's for you.

But, uh,
how did you become homeless?

I mean, how you let yourself
ass out like this?

Oh, that-that,
that ain't important
that..

- Here you go.
- Tha-that's a long story.

Hey, brother, we got time.

Ain't like you got to work
in the morning.

You see, I,
see I had a lot of
dreams.

But I-I never went to college.

So I would sponge it
off
my family for a while

until they got sick of me.

Hey, that sounds
like you, Marlon.

You know, after a
while,
you know..

...they got tired of
me,
so they kicked me
out

and, and I hit rock bottom.

I've been livin' on the streets.

I've been livin'
here
ever since.

But wait, why you asking
me
so many questions?

- That's for his character.
- What?

Uh, for my-my character
as a human being.

You know, I'm just tryin'
to grow spiritually, brother.

[speaking in foreign language]

You know, what I'm sayin'?

But, uh,
lemme ask you this, man.

What do you use
for toilet paper?

FIVE magazine.

- You too?
- Yeah.

Oh, man!

You gotta watch out
for that stable.

Oh, man, whoa,
will you look at the time?

Aah! It's gettin' late, man.

Guess it's time for you
to be headin' back home.

I, I ain't goin' nowhere.

Marlon said I can stay today.

He did what?

Uh-huh.

Would you like some Thunderbird?

[instrumental music]

(Shawn)
Oh, he's not my problem.

Look, Shawn,
it's my house too,
okay?

If he goes, then I go.

'Yeah.'

Send me a postcard
from Skid Row.

I was just actin', there see.

He goes and I go.

Shawn, look, now, man, please,
I need him to research.

I got him, Shawn, I gotta
study
him for this audition.

Look, I promise, as soon
as my audition's over

he'll be gone.

For real.

Alright. He can stay one night.

I want him gone in the morning.

- Alright.
- One night.

Thanks, Shawn.

Get off me.
You smell like
him.

Hey, man.

Hey, man, y'all ain't got
no man-sized drawers?

Boy, you better
gimme my drawers, man.

What's wrong with you?

Oh, man, I, please tell me
you did not take my toothbrush

and polished your shoes with it.

You think I'm some kind
a of an animal?

Of course, not.
I brushed my teeth.

Ew! What were you eatin',
soot pops?

No, go ahead, man,
you keep that.

Well, you know,
if y'all don't mind

um, I'mma go hit the hay.

You know, and I got
to let you all know that, uh

I sleeps in the nude.
So no tricks.

No spoonin'.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You sleepin' in your nude
is your business

but you sleepin' in nude
in my bed, ain't gonna happen.

You better go sleep
on the floor.

Hey, Shawn, come on,
man, don't do that.

Shawn, don't do that,
this man hasn't had..

He hasn't slept in a bed
in years, man. Come on,
Shawn.

Have a heart.
Come on be a humanitarian.

Alright.

Alright, man,
you got the couch.

That's my bed.
What the hell is
that?

Hey, humanitarian?
You think of somethin'.

Oh, that's cold
blooded,
man, that's cold.

Guess I'd just sleep
in that cart.

[alarm blaring]

[instrumental music]

Marlon, what are you doing, man?

And why does my apartment
look like a scene

out of "12 monkeys?"

I'm just doin'
a little bit of research.

Marlon, I asked you
to get rid of one
bum

I come home and his
twin sisters are
here.

- The double-mint bums.
- Shawn..

The thing is, I-I just wanted
to see what it would be like

to be with a woman
of the streets.

I mean, to look through
her crusty soul.

Look into her yellow
jaundice eyes.

And know that inside
she's just like any other
woman.

Did you hit that?

It was research, man.
It was research, Shawn.

I know this guy,
who'll buy us a sourdough
Jack

just to play him
with our feet. Come
on.

(Shawn)
'I can't believe you, Marlon,
I can't believe you
continued'

to use this guy
for your own selfish
need.

Just to get this part, man.

Usin' me?

Hey, hey, Marlon..

...what the hell
is he talkin' about, man?

He's just trippin', that's all.

Tell him, Marlon.

- Come on, Shawn.
- Tell him.

[sighs]

I ain't been exactly
usin' you, he's..

Alright, look,
it's like this, man.

Richie, the reason
why I invited you up
here

and been all nice to you
and everything is because

I've been studyin' you.

See, I got this big
audition
I'm goin' up for and..

...well, the guy
in the movie is
a..

Homeless?

Yeah. He's homeless.

Look, black, I'm sorry,
man,
I-I didn't mean nothin'
by it.

Yeah, Marlon, I thought
you was my friend.

Well, I'mma go
to my room, man.

Um, Marlon,
do what you gotta
do.

- Handle your business, kid.
- Yeah.

Hey, Richie, man, look,
I'll make it up to you.

If you come with me
down at my audition

I promise I'll pay you.

Well, you think, you think
I would sell my soul?

Degrade myself for you?

- I'll give you five
dollars.
- Cool.

[instrumental music]

Hey, Richie..

...I just wanna thank you
for coming down

to my audition with me, man.

I mean, especially after the way
I've treated you and everything.

Yes, this is my first payday
in years.

There's no problem.

Hey, well, I just wanna say
I'm sorry anyway.

We're cool?

Alright, come here.

[laughs]

Alright.

Hey, egg, what are you doing?

- Marlon Williams?
- Yes, that's me.

We're just going to do
the first set of sight.

You'll be reading with me.

Oh, that'd be great.
Great, great, great.

Hey, good luck.

Thanks.

Whenever you're ready.

Ba ba ba ba.

Ba ba ba ba.

Mi mi mi mi.

Mi mi mi mi mi mi-i-i-i.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

Scene.

"Listen, Lenny, you're going
to have to move along."

So that's how it is, huh?

Always gots to be comin' down..

...on the little guy.

The little guy
that don't have...nothin'.

That's right, nothin'.

Rhymes with muffin.

It's stuffin'.

And days are roughin'.

Like Roxanne and Mally Mall said

You ain't really owe me nothin'.

This gonna be ahit.

Ahit-uh.

Tonight..

Alright.

(Marlon)
This is my neighborhood.

Those are my crackheads.

My prostitutes.

My government cheese.

My government cheese.

And you, you trespassin'.

Now you, you get on,
you get in..

...get, get out.

Get, get out.

G-I-T!

Scene.

- Thank you, Marlon.
- Oh, thank you.

- Thank you.
- We'll be in touch.

- Really?
- No.

Come on, man,
let's get outta here.

These stupid people
don't know talent.

Wait, Marlon.
Marlon, come on, man.

Did you forget
everything
that-that I taught you?

I mean, what was you doing
rubbin' you-your hands
together?

Oh, I was pretending to be cold.

It looks like
you're puttin' on
lotion.

Marlon, when it's cold
outside,
your whole body it..

...it aches. You got to
show
th-the pain in your face.

And you never, you could
never forget that agony

that you gotta live
with for 24 hours a day.

It's in you.

That's the last you're
gonna get out of me.

This is my neighborhood,
and you trespassin'.

Now, go on.

Get out.

Did you see that?

- Yes.
- This is the man for your
part.

That boy got talent.

You're right.
Mr. Scorsese will love
you.

And the brother
brings his own wardrobe.

With fleas.

- Hey, thanks, Marlon.
- Oh, you got it, man.

I guess, I'm the only one
who got somethin' outta
this.

Oh, no, man.
I got a lot outta it too.

You opened my eyes
to a lot of things, Richie.

Like I'm never gonna look down
at a homeless person again.

You the coolest bum I know.

- Alright.
- Do your thing, baby.

Keep shinin'.

- By the way, Marlon..
- Yeah.

You could work a little more
harder on being more
believable.

Help a brother out.
Spare change.

Uh, help a brother out.

Sister, I know
you gave me a dollar

but the things I'll do for five.

There's a article in here
by Richie, the bum.

It says just from
the heat he's gettin'

from this Scorsese film alone

he's lined up for his own
sitcom on the WB.

That is funny, isn't it?

You were tryin' to help
Richie get on his feet

now the homeless guy
is livin' in a lap of
luxury

and you're still
a newsboy with
hardly

a penny to your name. Huh.

It makes you think, doesn't it?

What do you mean?

(Shawn)
Look up, Marlon, say
"Cheese."