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1
00:00:19,966 --> 00:00:22,662
I hate those stories
that begin with a funeral.
2
00:00:22,969 --> 00:00:26,132
I'm afraid this one started
the day we buried George.
3
00:00:26,406 --> 00:00:27,998
Not that we buried him.
4
00:00:28,108 --> 00:00:31,566
In the interests of the environment,
we had him incinerated.
5
00:00:33,046 --> 00:00:35,173
My children conducted the service.
6
00:00:35,415 --> 00:00:37,440
They believe in the environment.
7
00:00:38,018 --> 00:00:40,612
They don't believe in priests or vicars.
8
00:00:43,357 --> 00:00:46,155
Our father died playing golf.
9
00:00:46,893 --> 00:00:49,919
On the long 15th,
but right in the middle of the fairway.
10
00:00:49,996 --> 00:00:52,897
We thank him for being a terrific father...
11
00:00:53,834 --> 00:00:55,233
...and grandfather.
12
00:00:55,335 --> 00:00:57,462
It was his wish that we invite you all...
13
00:00:57,537 --> 00:01:01,166
...to raise a glass to his memory
in the clubhouse after the ceremony.
14
00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:04,301
It was also his wish
that he should leave us accompanied...
15
00:01:04,378 --> 00:01:06,710
...by some of the music he loved best.
16
00:01:09,783 --> 00:01:13,310
"For I am the pirate king
17
00:01:15,789 --> 00:01:20,123
"And it is, it is
A glorious thing to be a pirate king
18
00:01:20,427 --> 00:01:22,725
"For I am the pirate king
19
00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:28,196
"And it is, it is
A glorious thing to be a pirate king"
20
00:01:28,301 --> 00:01:31,862
- Are you all right?
- As well as can be expected.
21
00:01:32,773 --> 00:01:34,673
If you want to cry, go ahead.
22
00:01:35,776 --> 00:01:38,074
I just hate this fucking tune.
23
00:01:40,814 --> 00:01:44,409
"I'll be glad when you're gone
You rascal, you
24
00:01:45,652 --> 00:01:49,315
"I'll be glad when you're gone
You rascal, you
25
00:01:50,757 --> 00:01:53,749
"When you're dead in your grave
26
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:55,657
"No more women will you crave
27
00:01:55,762 --> 00:01:58,060
"I'll be glad when you're gone
28
00:01:58,832 --> 00:02:00,925
"Glad when you're gone
29
00:02:01,134 --> 00:02:04,763
"Glad when you're gone
You rascal, you"
30
00:02:09,276 --> 00:02:10,607
Can't hang about.
31
00:02:10,944 --> 00:02:14,880
Apparently, they have one of these
every 20 minutes at this time of year.
32
00:02:15,682 --> 00:02:18,378
- Well, who's going to tell her?
- I'll go.
33
00:02:28,762 --> 00:02:30,957
What was that about the music?
34
00:02:31,131 --> 00:02:34,658
Well, when I was 15,
we lived near a dance hall...
35
00:02:34,935 --> 00:02:36,630
...and there was a band.
36
00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:39,937
And some girls used to sing a song called...
37
00:02:40,907 --> 00:02:43,603
I'll Be Glad When You're Dead
You Rascal, You.
38
00:02:43,677 --> 00:02:45,167
Never heard of it.
39
00:02:45,445 --> 00:02:48,380
When they started to play that
rubbish in the crematorium...
40
00:02:48,448 --> 00:02:50,609
...I shut my ears and that's what I heard.
41
00:02:50,684 --> 00:02:53,380
I'll Be Glad When You're Dead
You Rascal, You.
42
00:02:53,487 --> 00:02:56,081
I got a fit of the giggles,
and I'm very ashamed.
43
00:02:56,156 --> 00:02:58,090
Was grandpa a rascal?
44
00:02:58,892 --> 00:02:59,881
No.
45
00:03:01,294 --> 00:03:02,761
He was anything but.
46
00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:06,431
- You may disagree, but...
- No, I know what you mean.
47
00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:08,691
But he was kind, wasn't he?
48
00:03:09,002 --> 00:03:12,460
I mean, he would always pat me
on the head and give me a pound.
49
00:03:12,706 --> 00:03:14,537
You and me both, sweetheart.
50
00:03:15,308 --> 00:03:17,970
You all right now?
Can you cope with the wake?
51
00:03:18,144 --> 00:03:19,771
Of course I can, dear.
52
00:03:20,847 --> 00:03:22,610
Lead me to the golfers.
53
00:03:29,456 --> 00:03:32,016
This is the BBC General Forces Program.
54
00:03:32,659 --> 00:03:37,392
London suffered the heaviest bombardment
since the 1940-'41 Blitz last night...
55
00:03:37,531 --> 00:03:39,931
...in German air raids over the capital.
56
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,866
About 175 enemy planes made
scattered and indiscriminate attacks...
57
00:03:44,971 --> 00:03:49,271
...on London, the counties,
southeast England and East Anglia.
58
00:03:49,342 --> 00:03:51,276
The Last of the
BLONDE BOMBSHELLS
59
00:05:08,955 --> 00:05:12,322
- There you are, keep the change.
- Have a good day.
60
00:05:32,212 --> 00:05:34,942
So, have you made any plans, Mum?
61
00:05:35,815 --> 00:05:38,079
I think I'll go for the creme brulee.
62
00:05:38,251 --> 00:05:39,582
Oh, no.
63
00:05:39,919 --> 00:05:42,615
I didn't mean about the pudding.
I meant...
64
00:05:42,822 --> 00:05:44,084
Oh, life after death.
65
00:05:44,290 --> 00:05:45,757
Well, yes, I suppose so.
66
00:05:47,761 --> 00:05:51,492
Life goes on much as it did
when your father was alive.
67
00:05:52,165 --> 00:05:54,395
I still go to the library twice a week.
68
00:05:54,801 --> 00:05:57,167
I still watch the quiz programs
on television.
69
00:05:57,537 --> 00:05:59,334
Sometimes I get the answers right.
70
00:05:59,406 --> 00:06:02,739
I go out every Thursday with my children
to some trendy restaurant.
71
00:06:03,276 --> 00:06:04,800
And I weep when necessary.
72
00:06:05,612 --> 00:06:09,480
And I look after Joanna when
her parents want to expand their horizons.
73
00:06:09,749 --> 00:06:11,979
That's enough life
for a woman half my age.
74
00:06:12,852 --> 00:06:16,049
Can you have her on Friday?
We've got tickets to The Magic Flute.
75
00:06:16,122 --> 00:06:18,090
Fine, I'll cancel my darts night.
76
00:06:18,224 --> 00:06:19,589
You don't play darts.
77
00:06:26,533 --> 00:06:27,795
Isn't that lovely?
78
00:06:29,569 --> 00:06:30,558
What?
79
00:06:32,439 --> 00:06:36,205
If your pulse doesn't quicken when you
hear Hoagy Carmichael's Stardust...
80
00:06:36,276 --> 00:06:38,437
...then I've clearly failed as a mother.
81
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,973
Thank you for lunch, my children.
82
00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:45,314
I'll see you next Thursday.
83
00:06:50,356 --> 00:06:52,586
Do you think she's turning into
a dotty old woman?
84
00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:54,888
She's always done it.
85
00:06:54,961 --> 00:06:58,453
You talk to her, she makes the right
noises but she's not listening.
86
00:06:58,565 --> 00:07:01,557
She's listening to what's inside her head.
87
00:07:02,469 --> 00:07:05,734
Whatever she's listening to now
is just a bit further away.
88
00:07:15,882 --> 00:07:18,350
You're much too young
to know those tunes.
89
00:07:19,052 --> 00:07:21,111
What makes you think I know them?
90
00:07:22,822 --> 00:07:25,518
You screwed up the changes
into the middle eight.
91
00:07:25,592 --> 00:07:27,025
It was a good try.
92
00:07:27,794 --> 00:07:29,489
You some sort of critic?
93
00:07:29,929 --> 00:07:31,123
No, don't worry.
94
00:07:32,899 --> 00:07:36,130
It's only if the audience notices,
you're in trouble.
95
00:07:51,951 --> 00:07:53,509
Don't give up.
96
00:09:12,999 --> 00:09:14,364
I didn't see you there.
97
00:09:14,634 --> 00:09:16,864
- That was amazing.
- Thank you.
98
00:09:18,705 --> 00:09:20,673
- May I touch?
- Well, of course.
99
00:09:22,242 --> 00:09:23,675
I didn't know.
100
00:09:25,778 --> 00:09:27,939
Remember that dance hall
I told you about?
101
00:09:28,014 --> 00:09:29,606
You Rascal, You.
102
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:31,581
I played in the band.
103
00:09:32,218 --> 00:09:33,583
Did women do that then?
104
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,785
What do you know about the war?
The 1939-'45?
105
00:09:37,857 --> 00:09:39,256
We beat Germany one-nil?
106
00:09:40,059 --> 00:09:42,084
It was an upside down world.
107
00:09:43,029 --> 00:09:46,624
Women drove ambulances
and worked in shipyards and...
108
00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:49,225
...I played in a band.
109
00:09:49,636 --> 00:09:51,797
We called ourselves
The Blonde Bombshells.
110
00:09:52,405 --> 00:09:53,531
Were you a star?
111
00:09:53,673 --> 00:09:55,140
We played on the wireless once.
112
00:09:55,208 --> 00:09:56,675
You were a star.
113
00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:59,208
Yes, damn it, I was a star.
114
00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:29,532
Grandma, why did you stop?
115
00:10:29,609 --> 00:10:31,600
I stopped when the war stopped.
116
00:10:32,512 --> 00:10:35,379
Then I was a wife and a mother
and a grandmother.
117
00:10:37,216 --> 00:10:39,844
It's just something I did before I grew up.
118
00:10:40,253 --> 00:10:41,720
But you carried on playing.
119
00:10:41,788 --> 00:10:45,451
Well, I used to practice
when your grandpa was out playing golf.
120
00:10:47,493 --> 00:10:50,053
But you're the first person to hear me for...
121
00:10:50,964 --> 00:10:52,261
...dear God...
122
00:10:52,332 --> 00:10:53,822
...nearly half a century.
123
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:55,995
That's terrible.
124
00:10:58,638 --> 00:10:59,764
Joanna...
125
00:11:01,074 --> 00:11:02,666
...I need your advice.
126
00:11:02,875 --> 00:11:03,864
I'll try.
127
00:11:04,978 --> 00:11:07,742
What's the best way
of showing respect for the dead?
128
00:11:09,882 --> 00:11:12,077
That's easy. You go on living.
129
00:11:39,012 --> 00:11:40,377
You're truly amazing.
130
00:11:41,781 --> 00:11:45,512
- You're too good to be busking.
- I'm too old to have any other ambitions.
131
00:11:45,585 --> 00:11:47,075
Why don't you take half?
132
00:11:48,621 --> 00:11:52,955
Look, we play twice a week
and you buy the drinks, okay?
133
00:11:53,493 --> 00:11:54,517
Okay.
134
00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:02,459
I think this might be for you.
135
00:12:02,535 --> 00:12:03,467
Why?
136
00:12:03,569 --> 00:12:06,163
Because it says,
"Fancy a bit of fun, dearie?"
137
00:12:06,239 --> 00:12:08,104
Why should it be for me?
138
00:12:08,241 --> 00:12:12,405
If you say because I'm a woman,
I'll smash you on the head with the guitar.
139
00:12:12,545 --> 00:12:13,876
My glass is empty.
140
00:12:13,946 --> 00:12:17,746
- Same again?
- Please, let me have a look at that.
141
00:12:25,158 --> 00:12:26,216
Do you?
142
00:12:28,094 --> 00:12:29,118
Sorry?
143
00:12:30,430 --> 00:12:31,658
Fancy a bit of fun?
144
00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:35,794
Do you mind?
145
00:12:41,507 --> 00:12:43,441
It is Elizabeth, isn't it?
146
00:12:46,879 --> 00:12:48,642
Well, don't you remember?
147
00:12:49,282 --> 00:12:50,840
Metropole Ballroom?
148
00:12:51,484 --> 00:12:52,781
Moonlight Serenade?
149
00:12:53,286 --> 00:12:55,777
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy
From Company B?
150
00:12:57,156 --> 00:12:58,145
Patrick.
151
00:12:58,658 --> 00:13:00,148
You see? You do remember.
152
00:13:00,526 --> 00:13:02,426
The man we were all warned about.
153
00:13:03,196 --> 00:13:05,323
At least offer me the hand of friendship.
154
00:13:05,498 --> 00:13:06,965
I might never see it again.
155
00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:16,501
If you're going to play, play it properly.
156
00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:20,045
I was just trying to catch
the spirit of the moment.
157
00:13:20,113 --> 00:13:21,637
Are you gonna introduce me?
158
00:13:22,448 --> 00:13:23,437
Paul...
159
00:13:24,016 --> 00:13:26,143
...down-and-out street musician...
160
00:13:26,252 --> 00:13:29,619
...Patrick, venerable friend and war hero.
161
00:13:30,089 --> 00:13:32,614
That's cool.
What did you do in the war, Patrick?
162
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,187
I was a Blonde Bombshell.
163
00:13:36,262 --> 00:13:38,822
"When you're dead in your grave
164
00:13:38,931 --> 00:13:41,126
"No more women will you crave
165
00:13:41,234 --> 00:13:43,668
"I'll be glad when you're gone
166
00:13:44,337 --> 00:13:46,134
"Glad when you're gone
167
00:13:46,839 --> 00:13:50,172
"Glad when you're gone
You rascal, you"
168
00:13:56,149 --> 00:13:57,810
Here, let me take that.
169
00:13:59,152 --> 00:14:01,848
Would you believe I recognized
the way you play?
170
00:14:02,388 --> 00:14:03,548
That sound?
171
00:14:03,856 --> 00:14:05,255
Sensual, erotic.
172
00:14:05,324 --> 00:14:07,690
Don't be silly.
What are you doing around here?
173
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:08,988
The betting shop.
174
00:14:09,061 --> 00:14:10,790
I'll give you a lift.
175
00:14:13,533 --> 00:14:14,864
In that?
176
00:14:15,234 --> 00:14:17,031
We'll drop off at my place.
177
00:14:17,937 --> 00:14:18,961
Come on.
178
00:14:25,611 --> 00:14:29,206
Don't worry about all that.
It's my concessionary parking system.
179
00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:32,347
- You in?
- Yeah.
180
00:15:10,456 --> 00:15:13,789
So, how come a nice girl like you
is reduced to working the streets?
181
00:15:15,461 --> 00:15:18,259
It's because I said
"fuck" at George's funeral.
182
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:24,227
I assume George is your late,
lamented husband?
183
00:15:24,303 --> 00:15:25,327
Yes.
184
00:15:26,272 --> 00:15:27,762
He treat you well?
185
00:15:28,774 --> 00:15:32,540
Well, he was kind and decent
and generous and law-abiding.
186
00:15:32,645 --> 00:15:33,634
Boring?
187
00:15:33,713 --> 00:15:35,977
- Mind your own business.
- Thought so.
188
00:15:45,391 --> 00:15:46,949
This is where you live?
189
00:15:47,026 --> 00:15:48,323
Yes, it's...
190
00:15:48,394 --> 00:15:52,057
They call it "Grace and Favor Residence".
My father had the grace to die and...
191
00:15:52,131 --> 00:15:54,361
...did me the favor of leaving it to me.
192
00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:56,494
Thank you.
193
00:15:57,837 --> 00:16:01,034
I would be deeply honored
if you would step across the threshold...
194
00:16:01,107 --> 00:16:03,098
...and let my woodworm see you.
195
00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:07,244
- Hi, Patrick.
- Hello, darling.
196
00:16:08,581 --> 00:16:10,446
Didn't know you had a secret.
197
00:16:12,818 --> 00:16:14,149
How's the masterpiece?
198
00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:15,448
Bloody arm came off.
199
00:16:18,658 --> 00:16:20,558
Who exactly is "darling"?
200
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,151
Carol. Lodger. Art student.
201
00:16:23,229 --> 00:16:28,098
Tomorrow, 4:00, Hereford, Billie's Bounce.
202
00:16:28,401 --> 00:16:29,766
- Shirt.
- Noted.
203
00:16:30,136 --> 00:16:31,228
Ma'am.
204
00:16:32,438 --> 00:16:33,700
A true artist.
205
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,538
Ex-jockey. Tipster in residence.
206
00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:41,679
Known as "the wee man" and banned
from every race course in the country.
207
00:16:43,949 --> 00:16:44,916
But...
208
00:16:45,618 --> 00:16:48,712
...the real glory is found downstairs
in my personal crypt.
209
00:16:48,788 --> 00:16:51,416
There's something
very special I want to show you.
210
00:16:51,490 --> 00:16:52,684
What a surprise.
211
00:16:52,758 --> 00:16:55,750
Don't be silly.
I never go all the way on the first date.
212
00:17:13,312 --> 00:17:15,212
- The same kit?
- Yes.
213
00:17:15,581 --> 00:17:17,640
Of course, I remember the roses.
214
00:17:18,551 --> 00:17:21,179
- Do you still play?
- Only when nobody listens.
215
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,427
You were really pretty.
216
00:17:37,937 --> 00:17:39,131
So were you.
217
00:17:39,672 --> 00:17:41,333
Why did you do this?
218
00:17:41,674 --> 00:17:45,337
Working with The Blonde Bombshells
was the happiest time of my life.
219
00:17:45,411 --> 00:17:47,038
Life's been that bad?
220
00:17:47,279 --> 00:17:51,079
I've been to prison once.
Married twice. Bankrupt three times.
221
00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:53,118
- Ain't you got fun?
- Yeah, lots of fun.
222
00:17:55,221 --> 00:17:56,984
But those were the days.
223
00:17:57,189 --> 00:17:58,588
Best days.
224
00:17:59,992 --> 00:18:02,790
I'll bet you a dollar
to a donut you think so, too.
225
00:18:02,862 --> 00:18:06,059
If I admit that, it's like admitting
I've wasted most of my life.
226
00:18:06,132 --> 00:18:08,032
Well, go ahead, admit it.
227
00:18:08,567 --> 00:18:11,331
I've wasted mine
and enjoyed every minute of it.
228
00:18:13,639 --> 00:18:15,368
Well, I can't tell a lie.
229
00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:20,436
I was showing off to my granddaughter
about being on the wireless.
230
00:18:20,913 --> 00:18:23,973
That was your fault
for being beautiful and talented.
231
00:18:24,049 --> 00:18:25,846
Yes, I remember.
232
00:18:56,215 --> 00:18:57,239
Excuse me.
233
00:18:57,316 --> 00:18:59,307
- You do play awfully well.
- Thank you.
234
00:18:59,385 --> 00:19:01,012
Is this bastard bothering you?
235
00:19:01,086 --> 00:19:02,553
I'm from BBC.
236
00:19:03,055 --> 00:19:05,990
Beg your pardon. I took you for a civilian.
237
00:19:06,058 --> 00:19:07,855
Back to your place, sweetheart.
238
00:19:07,927 --> 00:19:11,522
I wonder whether you and your orchestra
would be interested in broadcasting.
239
00:19:11,597 --> 00:19:14,088
I have to say that girl plays beautifully.
240
00:19:14,233 --> 00:19:16,861
- She's better than many a chap.
- And a lot prettier.
241
00:19:16,936 --> 00:19:19,871
And it would be a joy and a delight
to do business with you.
242
00:19:19,939 --> 00:19:22,965
Give me 30 seconds to wind them up
and set them going.
243
00:19:24,276 --> 00:19:27,302
The next dance will be a quickstep.
Take it away, girls.
244
00:19:27,847 --> 00:19:30,315
A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.
245
00:19:33,419 --> 00:19:37,185
Come to the dressing room.
We'll compare our arrangements.
246
00:19:42,561 --> 00:19:45,587
"Take it away, girls."
Nobody ever says that now.
247
00:19:45,698 --> 00:19:47,598
Long time since we were girls.
248
00:19:47,666 --> 00:19:50,191
I suppose technically speaking,
I never was.
249
00:19:52,004 --> 00:19:55,838
You know, I've been thinking about it
more and more since the funeral.
250
00:19:56,675 --> 00:19:58,870
We were heroic for a while.
251
00:20:00,246 --> 00:20:01,645
Nobody told us.
252
00:20:04,016 --> 00:20:06,678
When shall we two meet again,
Sunday lunch?
253
00:20:06,752 --> 00:20:09,220
I'm taking my granddaughter
to the zoo on Sunday.
254
00:20:09,288 --> 00:20:11,085
Are you still sexually active?
255
00:20:11,323 --> 00:20:13,450
- What?
- I love zoos.
256
00:20:19,431 --> 00:20:21,831
- You were the only man in the band?
- Yep.
257
00:20:22,101 --> 00:20:23,864
One guy and all those chicks.
258
00:20:23,936 --> 00:20:26,700
Do you mind?
I'm not and never have been a chick.
259
00:20:28,140 --> 00:20:29,801
How did you get the job?
260
00:20:30,643 --> 00:20:33,111
Well, they couldn't find a girl
to play the drums.
261
00:20:33,178 --> 00:20:35,738
So a quiet word
with Betty the band leader...
262
00:20:35,848 --> 00:20:38,840
...two pairs of nylon stockings,
and the job was mine.
263
00:20:38,918 --> 00:20:40,613
Also, he was on the run.
264
00:20:40,786 --> 00:20:42,754
Also, I was on the run.
265
00:21:06,011 --> 00:21:07,376
Friends of yours.
266
00:21:16,589 --> 00:21:18,147
I'll be in the pub.
267
00:21:23,195 --> 00:21:27,222
Doesn't it strike you that what
you're doing is just a little bit humiliating?
268
00:21:27,433 --> 00:21:28,764
Well, you try it.
269
00:21:30,469 --> 00:21:34,166
Last week we had a request from a tourist
for the Japanese national anthem.
270
00:21:34,239 --> 00:21:35,706
That's humiliating.
271
00:21:35,841 --> 00:21:38,207
We played One Fine Day
from Madam Butterfly...
272
00:21:38,277 --> 00:21:40,142
...and a joke about Pearl Harbor.
273
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,506
It implies that you're broke and
we're not taking care of you.
274
00:21:44,817 --> 00:21:48,218
I'm not doing it for the money.
Paul keeps the money.
275
00:21:48,287 --> 00:21:49,276
It's art.
276
00:21:49,455 --> 00:21:50,479
For art's sake.
277
00:21:50,589 --> 00:21:52,022
You do play very nicely.
278
00:21:52,091 --> 00:21:53,388
Why don't you play as a hobby?
279
00:21:53,459 --> 00:21:54,517
Whereabouts?
280
00:21:54,727 --> 00:21:56,922
The old folks home after bingo?
281
00:21:57,129 --> 00:21:58,824
What do we tell people?
282
00:21:58,931 --> 00:22:00,421
Tell them the truth.
283
00:22:00,666 --> 00:22:03,100
Tell 'em I've gone gaga
or to screw themselves.
284
00:22:03,402 --> 00:22:05,632
- Mother, for god sake!
- For god sake what?
285
00:22:05,704 --> 00:22:06,762
Shut up!
286
00:22:07,606 --> 00:22:09,506
Believe me, we do understand.
287
00:22:09,842 --> 00:22:11,104
We know how you feel.
288
00:22:11,176 --> 00:22:14,236
You can't understand
because I don't understand, myself.
289
00:22:16,582 --> 00:22:18,379
I remember about feelings.
290
00:22:20,019 --> 00:22:23,284
I remember playing in the band
in the Metropole Ballroom.
291
00:22:23,689 --> 00:22:27,181
Mares Eat Oats and Does Eat Oats
and knowing that at any minute...
292
00:22:27,259 --> 00:22:30,786
...a large bomb could fall on my head
and blow us all to hell and back.
293
00:22:31,597 --> 00:22:32,723
House rules said:
294
00:22:32,798 --> 00:22:36,495
"You had to finish the tune
before you went to the air raid shelter."
295
00:22:37,036 --> 00:22:40,130
That, my children,
is how you learn about real feelings.
296
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,107
I was more alive at that time
than before or since.
297
00:22:45,411 --> 00:22:47,845
That's an alarming thing
to discover at my age.
298
00:22:49,948 --> 00:22:52,542
I don't understand it. I don't expect you to.
299
00:22:57,823 --> 00:22:58,847
Here's my lift.
300
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:02,720
Mum!
301
00:23:03,495 --> 00:23:05,122
Who's he?
302
00:23:05,731 --> 00:23:07,562
My fancy man.
303
00:23:18,911 --> 00:23:21,209
There appears to be a man in her life.
304
00:23:21,947 --> 00:23:23,574
Sorry to interrupt.
305
00:23:24,950 --> 00:23:27,748
That man with the flowers, who is he?
306
00:23:28,620 --> 00:23:30,281
Some old transvestite, I think.
307
00:23:39,264 --> 00:23:41,789
- Do you know where you're going?
- Of course I do.
308
00:23:43,669 --> 00:23:45,933
I don't remember this tunnel.
309
00:23:46,105 --> 00:23:47,265
Oh, well.
310
00:23:47,773 --> 00:23:50,139
So, the Metropole Ballroom...
311
00:23:50,242 --> 00:23:53,678
...scene of our youthful happiness,
is now a carpet warehouse.
312
00:23:54,947 --> 00:23:56,471
"A kid'll eat ivy, too
313
00:23:57,816 --> 00:24:01,650
"If the words sound queer
And funny to your ear
314
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,280
"A little bit jumbled and jivey
315
00:24:04,757 --> 00:24:06,452
"Sing mares eat oats
316
00:24:06,892 --> 00:24:08,416
"And does eat oats
317
00:24:08,694 --> 00:24:11,458
"And little lambs eat ivy
318
00:24:12,131 --> 00:24:15,396
"Mares eat oats and does eat oats
And little lambs eat ivy
319
00:24:15,467 --> 00:24:17,833
"A kid'll eat ivy, too
Wouldn't you?
320
00:24:19,104 --> 00:24:21,504
"A kid'll eat ivy, too
Wouldn't you?"
321
00:24:24,409 --> 00:24:26,001
I lied to my children.
322
00:24:27,012 --> 00:24:29,606
Good. How else can they learn?
323
00:24:30,182 --> 00:24:33,174
I told them we kept playing
even when the bombs were falling.
324
00:24:33,252 --> 00:24:36,153
No, we didn't.
We ran like buggery to the air raid shelter.
325
00:24:36,655 --> 00:24:39,886
"Mares eat oats and does eat oats
And little lambs eat ivy
326
00:24:39,958 --> 00:24:42,324
"A kid'll eat ivy, too
Wouldn't you?
327
00:24:43,562 --> 00:24:45,860
"A kid'll eat ivy, too
Wouldn't you?"
328
00:24:49,635 --> 00:24:51,432
Do you know what would be lovely?
329
00:24:51,537 --> 00:24:52,595
What?
330
00:24:53,772 --> 00:24:55,433
To see them all again.
331
00:24:55,941 --> 00:24:57,374
Don't be silly.
332
00:24:57,976 --> 00:24:59,841
Maybe even to play together.
333
00:25:03,081 --> 00:25:05,140
You should be put in a darkened room.
334
00:25:08,754 --> 00:25:09,914
Come on.
335
00:25:28,874 --> 00:25:31,365
It's brilliant and it's all the rage.
336
00:25:35,347 --> 00:25:37,975
- What are you talking about?
- Reunion bands.
337
00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:41,281
I mean, you've got The Stones,
The Who, Status Quo.
338
00:25:41,587 --> 00:25:44,852
All those wrinklies from the 60's.
Always having reunion concerts...
339
00:25:44,923 --> 00:25:46,515
...and going on world tours.
340
00:25:46,592 --> 00:25:48,492
So, why not The Blonde Bombshells?
341
00:25:50,495 --> 00:25:54,363
Where shall we play? The Albert Hall,
Shea Stadium, Hollywood Bowl?
342
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,833
Play at our next school dance.
I'm on the committee.
343
00:25:57,903 --> 00:26:00,394
Let's assume
for the sake of argument that we...
344
00:26:00,472 --> 00:26:03,703
...track down the survivors of the band
and prop 'em up in a line...
345
00:26:03,775 --> 00:26:06,039
...and play some fragments
of ancient music.
346
00:26:06,111 --> 00:26:07,237
Who would listen?
347
00:26:07,779 --> 00:26:08,803
I would.
348
00:26:10,549 --> 00:26:13,211
This is the BBC General Forces Program.
349
00:26:13,685 --> 00:26:17,314
The BBC is proud to present
the most glamorous band...
350
00:26:17,389 --> 00:26:19,084
...in all the land:
351
00:26:19,191 --> 00:26:20,749
The Blonde Bombshells.
352
00:26:21,059 --> 00:26:22,458
One, two, three, four.
353
00:26:22,527 --> 00:26:23,926
Take it away!
354
00:26:48,754 --> 00:26:50,449
How many cars do you own?
355
00:26:50,622 --> 00:26:52,385
As many as I can borrow.
356
00:26:53,926 --> 00:26:56,087
- Do we have to do this?
- Yes, we do.
357
00:26:58,196 --> 00:27:00,426
Then we're going to need lots of flowers.
358
00:27:00,499 --> 00:27:02,865
We can use the money
you lost at the dogs.
359
00:27:17,316 --> 00:27:18,305
Vera?
360
00:27:20,419 --> 00:27:21,408
Vera.
361
00:27:22,788 --> 00:27:24,949
Do you remember me? Elizabeth.
362
00:27:26,658 --> 00:27:28,592
And Patrick, you remember him.
363
00:27:29,361 --> 00:27:31,761
The Blonde Bombshells, in the war?
364
00:27:32,531 --> 00:27:35,500
Adolph Hitler,
Winston Churchill, Tommy Handley.
365
00:27:37,069 --> 00:27:39,196
You played the alto sax, remember?
366
00:27:40,105 --> 00:27:41,868
We sang like The Andrews Sisters.
367
00:27:41,940 --> 00:27:44,568
- Don't Fence Me In.
- Mares Eat Oats And Does Eat Oats.
368
00:27:45,010 --> 00:27:48,036
Pardon me, boy
Is that the Chattanooga choo-choo?
369
00:27:49,414 --> 00:27:50,403
Vera.
370
00:28:09,401 --> 00:28:11,335
Alas, poor Vera.
371
00:28:23,682 --> 00:28:25,411
Alas, poor Joan.
372
00:28:40,032 --> 00:28:41,522
Oh, the roses.
373
00:28:42,901 --> 00:28:44,061
They're lovely.
374
00:28:44,970 --> 00:28:46,801
At least you remembered us, Evelyn.
375
00:28:46,872 --> 00:28:48,237
I remember you.
376
00:28:49,574 --> 00:28:51,439
You were always pretty.
377
00:28:54,346 --> 00:28:57,008
I remember him, he was always flash.
378
00:28:57,349 --> 00:28:58,646
What are you in for?
379
00:29:00,519 --> 00:29:03,079
- Legal tender.
- Is that an offense?
380
00:29:03,655 --> 00:29:07,091
Getting things if you haven't got
any legal tender, that's an offense.
381
00:29:08,527 --> 00:29:10,051
You get to play any music?
382
00:29:11,563 --> 00:29:14,259
There's a bird, comes in once a week.
383
00:29:15,167 --> 00:29:18,625
Teaches what she calls musical therapy.
384
00:29:19,738 --> 00:29:21,365
But I never let on.
385
00:29:22,741 --> 00:29:25,539
You need your secrets in a place like this.
386
00:29:31,650 --> 00:29:33,982
Thanks for the flowers. They're lovely.
387
00:29:36,521 --> 00:29:37,647
Look...
388
00:29:38,457 --> 00:29:40,721
...a petal's fallen off already.
389
00:29:41,226 --> 00:29:42,420
Alas, poor Evelyn.
390
00:29:42,894 --> 00:29:44,987
This is all a ghastly mistake.
391
00:29:45,163 --> 00:29:47,631
Guided tours of the cemeteries of England.
392
00:29:47,999 --> 00:29:50,092
Goodwill missions to the living dead.
393
00:29:50,168 --> 00:29:53,035
O ye of little faith. Come on, look.
394
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:02,504
Annie.
395
00:30:04,749 --> 00:30:06,876
Two old sinners want to say hello.
396
00:30:07,152 --> 00:30:08,380
Elizabeth!
397
00:30:11,523 --> 00:30:12,649
And you.
398
00:30:14,159 --> 00:30:15,683
You're looking good, Sister.
399
00:30:16,428 --> 00:30:17,861
That's because I am good.
400
00:30:18,130 --> 00:30:20,291
How long has this
goodness been going on?
401
00:30:20,565 --> 00:30:22,055
Since I dumped you, Brother.
402
00:30:22,601 --> 00:30:25,900
You'll find that God is much better value
in the long term.
403
00:30:26,037 --> 00:30:28,164
- Are you looking for salvation?
- No.
404
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,232
- We're trying to get the band together.
- Band?
405
00:30:32,077 --> 00:30:35,012
I'm sorry, I don't play
that kind of music anymore.
406
00:30:35,347 --> 00:30:37,042
It's for my granddaughter.
407
00:30:37,115 --> 00:30:39,276
It's not negotiable, I'm sorry.
408
00:30:40,619 --> 00:30:42,712
I told you, it's a ghastly...
409
00:30:44,589 --> 00:30:46,454
You got any small change?
410
00:30:46,558 --> 00:30:47,991
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
411
00:30:54,399 --> 00:30:56,128
I've had him checked out.
412
00:30:56,468 --> 00:30:58,333
My God, you sound like the FBI.
413
00:30:58,537 --> 00:31:00,095
The man used to run a casino.
414
00:31:00,772 --> 00:31:03,707
He's an undischarged bankrupt
and he's been to prison.
415
00:31:03,775 --> 00:31:05,208
I can do better than that.
416
00:31:05,277 --> 00:31:07,541
She's rounding up her Blonde Bombshells...
417
00:31:07,612 --> 00:31:10,172
...and threatening to play
at Joanna's school dance.
418
00:31:15,987 --> 00:31:18,114
Where would you like to
run away to today?
419
00:31:18,190 --> 00:31:20,420
- It's your turn to choose.
- Hastings, please.
420
00:31:20,492 --> 00:31:23,757
- There's racing at Goodwood.
- I know, but I've chosen Hastings.
421
00:31:23,828 --> 00:31:27,457
Betty the band leader lives at Hastings.
She's expecting you with a friend.
422
00:31:30,368 --> 00:31:34,099
- I'm her ex-husband, for God's sake.
- I know that.
423
00:31:34,573 --> 00:31:36,632
I'm sure she'll be civilized about it.
424
00:31:36,875 --> 00:31:40,470
- This is Betty we're talking about.
- We're going to need a band leader.
425
00:31:41,046 --> 00:31:42,138
That's reasonable, isn't it?
426
00:31:43,615 --> 00:31:45,412
I'm not very good at reasonable.
427
00:31:45,483 --> 00:31:47,542
Well, try harder.
428
00:32:30,762 --> 00:32:32,753
- Nice one, Betty.
- Go, Betty.
429
00:32:49,547 --> 00:32:51,242
Thank you, music lovers.
430
00:32:51,416 --> 00:32:55,546
Now, in response to many requests,
there will be a short period of silence.
431
00:32:55,820 --> 00:32:56,787
Betty.
432
00:32:56,921 --> 00:32:58,445
The one and only.
433
00:32:58,923 --> 00:33:00,356
There'll never be another.
434
00:33:00,425 --> 00:33:01,949
Oh, darling.
435
00:33:02,694 --> 00:33:04,992
You haven't changed a bit.
436
00:33:05,997 --> 00:33:07,988
More than I can say for you.
437
00:33:08,066 --> 00:33:10,762
- Thanks.
- Come, let's have a drink.
438
00:33:16,241 --> 00:33:18,106
And something for my friends.
439
00:33:18,410 --> 00:33:20,002
Vodka and tonic, please.
440
00:33:20,111 --> 00:33:22,204
Glenlivet. Little water, please.
441
00:33:22,714 --> 00:33:24,648
The old gentleman will pay.
442
00:33:26,184 --> 00:33:28,277
You were the star, you know?
443
00:33:28,553 --> 00:33:30,851
You were the youngest, the sweetest...
444
00:33:31,022 --> 00:33:33,752
...and the most talented
of The Blonde Bombshells.
445
00:33:33,825 --> 00:33:36,293
You were also the only virgin.
446
00:33:37,195 --> 00:33:40,687
- You had me to thank for that.
- Really? Should I be grateful?
447
00:34:26,511 --> 00:34:29,275
- You frightened or just cold?
- Both.
448
00:34:29,781 --> 00:34:32,909
Stay close to me, darling.
Mr. Churchill recommends it.
449
00:34:32,984 --> 00:34:33,973
Here.
450
00:34:38,056 --> 00:34:40,524
Actually, I've got the keys
to the boiler house.
451
00:34:41,726 --> 00:34:43,557
It's nice and warm in there.
452
00:34:46,631 --> 00:34:49,794
- Betty, I didn't see you there.
- Elizabeth, sit.
453
00:34:50,301 --> 00:34:51,598
You, here.
454
00:34:51,803 --> 00:34:53,737
The girl is 15 years old.
455
00:34:54,439 --> 00:34:57,306
You try anything with her,
you go to prison.
456
00:34:57,509 --> 00:35:02,037
Also, I will take my garden shears
and personally castrate you.
457
00:35:02,180 --> 00:35:04,045
All right, I can take a hint.
458
00:35:07,185 --> 00:35:08,447
When's her birthday?
459
00:35:10,155 --> 00:35:12,089
I don't know why I ran a band.
460
00:35:12,791 --> 00:35:15,624
Most of the girls were
a bleeding nightmare.
461
00:35:15,827 --> 00:35:17,920
They were always very nice to me.
462
00:35:18,029 --> 00:35:20,520
That's because you were
young and innocent.
463
00:35:21,633 --> 00:35:22,691
All right.
464
00:35:23,968 --> 00:35:26,493
I'll show you something
young and innocent.
465
00:35:34,145 --> 00:35:37,444
If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you.
466
00:35:48,693 --> 00:35:50,388
You old softy.
467
00:35:52,697 --> 00:35:56,155
I can still get into this, you know,
size 14, short legs.
468
00:35:58,169 --> 00:35:59,966
Who was this little girl?
469
00:36:01,806 --> 00:36:03,637
What became of her?
470
00:36:09,481 --> 00:36:11,711
What's it like, long marriage?
471
00:36:11,816 --> 00:36:13,647
I've only had two little ones.
472
00:36:13,718 --> 00:36:16,448
It's warm and cozy,
like an old pair of shoes.
473
00:36:16,721 --> 00:36:18,086
Or a wet dog.
474
00:36:19,824 --> 00:36:22,952
It's only after the kids leave home,
that you realize...
475
00:36:23,428 --> 00:36:25,988
Well, there are no surprises anymore.
476
00:36:26,865 --> 00:36:29,959
Mind you, a lot of people
don't want surprises.
477
00:36:32,370 --> 00:36:33,496
Do you?
478
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:37,205
I'm not sure.
479
00:36:38,743 --> 00:36:41,473
I might be developing a taste for them.
480
00:36:48,786 --> 00:36:50,583
Betty's in Hastings.
481
00:36:51,122 --> 00:36:53,056
Anna's in the arms of Jesus.
482
00:36:53,224 --> 00:36:54,589
Joan's dead.
483
00:36:54,859 --> 00:36:56,759
Vera's deranged.
484
00:36:56,961 --> 00:36:58,360
Evelyn's in prison.
485
00:36:58,429 --> 00:37:00,124
Madeleine's missing in action.
486
00:37:00,798 --> 00:37:04,097
Dinah's somewhere in the States
and I've left many messages for Gwen.
487
00:37:04,168 --> 00:37:06,693
So, is there a band or is there not a band?
488
00:37:06,838 --> 00:37:09,102
I need to know what to tell the committee.
489
00:37:09,173 --> 00:37:12,370
Tell them there is no band.
Tell them to hire a magician.
490
00:37:12,744 --> 00:37:15,542
We'll pay off Evelyn's debts
and get her out of the nick.
491
00:37:15,613 --> 00:37:16,671
That'd make four.
492
00:37:16,748 --> 00:37:17,737
What about Annie?
493
00:37:18,616 --> 00:37:21,278
I know these Christians.
If they say no, they mean it.
494
00:37:22,020 --> 00:37:23,578
What about pieces of silver?
495
00:37:24,188 --> 00:37:26,213
That is a totally evil suggestion.
496
00:37:26,291 --> 00:37:28,054
So, please think about it.
497
00:37:32,997 --> 00:37:35,329
Hello? Yes, speaking.
498
00:37:37,001 --> 00:37:38,468
- Gwen?
- Gwen!
499
00:37:39,437 --> 00:37:44,101
It's wonderful to speak to someone
who's sane and alive and not in custody.
500
00:37:46,277 --> 00:37:48,336
Do you know the way to Wolverhampton?
501
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,344
If you can whistle it, I can play it.
502
00:37:53,952 --> 00:37:56,614
Nobody goes
to Wolverhampton out of season.
503
00:37:56,988 --> 00:38:00,253
You need passports, malaria jabs,
sturdy boots, an armed escort.
504
00:38:00,325 --> 00:38:03,055
Don't be silly.
It'll be wonderful to see Gwen.
505
00:38:03,127 --> 00:38:04,321
It'll be horrible.
506
00:38:04,395 --> 00:38:06,625
"On the board again
507
00:38:07,498 --> 00:38:10,433
"Riding for a fall again
508
00:38:11,135 --> 00:38:14,798
"And I'm gonna get my all again
509
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,000
"Taking a chance on love
510
00:38:18,142 --> 00:38:21,407
"I'm feeling fine again
511
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,249
"I'm going to rise and shine again
512
00:38:25,350 --> 00:38:29,013
"I've almost lost my mind again
513
00:38:29,587 --> 00:38:32,249
"Taking a chance on love
514
00:38:33,157 --> 00:38:36,320
"Boy, I'm booked again"
515
00:38:37,395 --> 00:38:40,831
- She's still terrific.
- I know, she was my second wife.
516
00:38:41,165 --> 00:38:42,655
- Sorry?
- Nothing.
517
00:38:43,768 --> 00:38:46,293
"Taking a chance on love
518
00:38:47,572 --> 00:38:50,769
"This game I'm having a crack
519
00:38:51,509 --> 00:38:54,137
"Needs good love from me
520
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,243
"So I'm taking a whack
521
00:38:58,850 --> 00:39:01,182
"At any black cat I see
522
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,855
"On the breeze again
523
00:39:06,124 --> 00:39:08,820
"And though I'd love to please again
524
00:39:09,494 --> 00:39:15,490
"I'm saving your reprieves again
525
00:39:18,136 --> 00:39:20,366
"So ring down the curtain
526
00:39:20,471 --> 00:39:22,029
"It's love for certain
527
00:39:22,106 --> 00:39:26,406
"I'm taking a chance on love
528
00:39:29,681 --> 00:39:32,081
"Taking another chance on love"
529
00:39:40,692 --> 00:39:42,182
Thank you very much.
530
00:39:43,995 --> 00:39:45,462
You don't play anymore?
531
00:39:45,530 --> 00:39:47,862
No, I retired when all the trumpet players...
532
00:39:47,932 --> 00:39:50,526
...came home from the war
wanting their jobs back.
533
00:39:50,601 --> 00:39:53,331
The men. You know what I mean.
534
00:39:53,404 --> 00:39:55,429
Besides, it was hard on the lips, babe.
535
00:39:56,140 --> 00:39:58,734
- I stick to the singing.
- No more triple tonguing?
536
00:39:59,744 --> 00:40:02,611
That ceased to be your business long ago.
537
00:40:03,715 --> 00:40:06,582
- Is it your business now, Elizabeth?
- Absolutely not.
538
00:40:06,651 --> 00:40:08,949
Our purpose is to
get the band together again.
539
00:40:09,220 --> 00:40:10,585
You got a gig?
540
00:40:10,888 --> 00:40:12,446
First of next month.
541
00:40:12,657 --> 00:40:13,749
What is it?
542
00:40:15,793 --> 00:40:18,387
It's my granddaughter's school dance.
543
00:40:20,732 --> 00:40:22,563
A school dance?
544
00:40:23,434 --> 00:40:26,130
I never played school dances
even when I was at school.
545
00:40:27,105 --> 00:40:29,665
- We're starting rehearsals next week.
- Sweetheart.
546
00:40:30,475 --> 00:40:33,444
I have sung for my supper
for half a lifetime...
547
00:40:33,511 --> 00:40:36,412
...and I've done it all without rehearsals.
548
00:40:36,547 --> 00:40:39,516
I turn up at the gig,
I moan about the piano...
549
00:40:39,684 --> 00:40:43,711
...I hand out the parts,
I count the guys in, and I get on with it.
550
00:40:44,088 --> 00:40:45,680
Make it a social call.
551
00:40:45,757 --> 00:40:48,191
- Come and see the girls.
- There'll be a fight.
552
00:40:48,259 --> 00:40:50,386
Well, come and see the fight.
553
00:40:53,698 --> 00:40:56,030
Do yourself a favor, babe.
Get rid of this man.
554
00:40:56,534 --> 00:40:58,229
Why, what's wrong with him?
555
00:40:58,302 --> 00:41:00,270
Please welcome Gwen back to the stage.
556
00:41:00,338 --> 00:41:02,431
Ask him about the roses.
557
00:41:06,978 --> 00:41:09,412
A one, a two, a one, two, three.
558
00:41:20,057 --> 00:41:22,389
All right, stop!
559
00:41:24,462 --> 00:41:27,795
- Terrible. Somebody was out of tune.
- We were all out of tune.
560
00:41:27,865 --> 00:41:29,594
I was in tune.
561
00:41:29,934 --> 00:41:32,368
Yes, but you still can't count to four.
562
00:41:32,970 --> 00:41:34,369
How'd it sound for you?
563
00:41:34,605 --> 00:41:36,596
I can see why the Germans bombed you.
564
00:41:37,175 --> 00:41:39,336
We've got no top line, no bottom line...
565
00:41:39,577 --> 00:41:41,545
...and there's bugger-all in the middle.
566
00:41:41,612 --> 00:41:44,376
- I know we can't have a double bass...
- Why not?
567
00:41:44,448 --> 00:41:46,245
There's one in the picture.
568
00:41:49,086 --> 00:41:51,077
That's Madeleine. She's French.
569
00:41:51,155 --> 00:41:54,249
She left the band and went back to Paris
to join the Resistance.
570
00:41:54,358 --> 00:41:56,883
- That's the last we've heard of her.
- That's sad.
571
00:41:57,628 --> 00:41:59,858
We'll have to manage
without her, I suppose.
572
00:42:00,298 --> 00:42:01,731
That's not good enough.
573
00:42:02,099 --> 00:42:04,932
You were war heroes.
I think you should try harder.
574
00:42:13,477 --> 00:42:14,671
Where are you going?
575
00:42:22,720 --> 00:42:23,709
No.
576
00:42:26,824 --> 00:42:28,223
Thank you, dear.
577
00:42:36,834 --> 00:42:38,961
What are you collecting for?
578
00:42:39,136 --> 00:42:42,537
The poor, the sick, and the dispossessed.
You don't qualify.
579
00:42:44,208 --> 00:42:46,733
Could the poor, the sick
and the dispossessed...
580
00:42:46,811 --> 00:42:49,143
...use �259?
581
00:42:50,648 --> 00:42:53,947
If you take this slip into that betting shop...
582
00:42:54,051 --> 00:42:56,679
...they will give you �259.
583
00:42:57,855 --> 00:42:59,482
- I don't gamble.
- You haven't.
584
00:42:59,557 --> 00:43:02,321
I was the one that gambled
on a double at Newmarket.
585
00:43:02,393 --> 00:43:03,883
The wages of sin.
586
00:43:04,195 --> 00:43:05,662
You have my word.
587
00:43:05,930 --> 00:43:09,024
The races on this occasion were not fixed.
588
00:43:10,968 --> 00:43:12,526
You know I can't take this.
589
00:43:13,104 --> 00:43:15,538
Remember the parable of the talents?
590
00:43:16,207 --> 00:43:17,902
Matthew, chapter 25?
591
00:43:18,743 --> 00:43:21,007
"He that had received the five talents...
592
00:43:21,078 --> 00:43:23,945
"...traded with them and
made with them five more."
593
00:43:24,115 --> 00:43:28,051
And the Lord said, "Well done,
thou good and faithful servant."
594
00:43:28,953 --> 00:43:32,821
Now, that's got to be an even money shot
whichever way you look at it.
595
00:43:32,890 --> 00:43:35,984
If I take this, what do I have to do?
596
00:43:37,328 --> 00:43:40,593
Whatever the good Lord
in his infinite wisdom tells you.
597
00:43:41,899 --> 00:43:45,130
I hope that he would suggest
you multiply your talent...
598
00:43:46,470 --> 00:43:48,995
...and spread its sweetness
across all the earth.
599
00:44:01,519 --> 00:44:04,147
Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop.
600
00:44:04,822 --> 00:44:06,153
Oh, dear.
601
00:44:06,891 --> 00:44:08,222
It's amazing.
602
00:44:08,326 --> 00:44:10,726
The more we rehearse,
the worse we sound.
603
00:44:11,028 --> 00:44:12,256
Well?
604
00:44:13,164 --> 00:44:15,689
The committee meets tonight.
What do I tell them?
605
00:44:15,766 --> 00:44:17,825
Tell them we need a good lead trumpet...
606
00:44:17,902 --> 00:44:21,030
...so at least the punters will guess
what we're trying to play.
607
00:44:21,105 --> 00:44:23,437
I found this old Christmas card from Dinah.
608
00:44:23,774 --> 00:44:25,241
Was there anyone finer?
609
00:44:25,676 --> 00:44:28,167
She married a G.I.
And moved to the States.
610
00:44:28,279 --> 00:44:31,214
"I dumped him and found me
one or two more."
611
00:44:31,282 --> 00:44:32,943
She's been living in Scotland.
612
00:44:33,017 --> 00:44:34,109
Scotland?
613
00:44:34,819 --> 00:44:38,721
I've been phoning her number in New York,
getting some rude answers.
614
00:44:38,789 --> 00:44:41,917
"The last one was rich, and when he died,
he left me this place.
615
00:44:42,393 --> 00:44:44,657
"His hobby was collecting small countries."
616
00:44:44,729 --> 00:44:46,219
The jammy cow!
617
00:44:46,597 --> 00:44:48,189
Do you mind? Language.
618
00:44:49,066 --> 00:44:51,125
So, what do I tell the committee?
619
00:44:51,202 --> 00:44:52,726
Tell them we'll play.
620
00:44:52,837 --> 00:44:55,431
- Are you sure?
- No, but tell them we'll play.
621
00:44:56,907 --> 00:45:00,274
Yes, but have you heard the latest?
She's going to Scotland with him.
622
00:45:00,678 --> 00:45:02,669
I think we should meet the man.
623
00:45:03,180 --> 00:45:06,445
Well, you know me.
I've always had a thing about older men.
624
00:45:07,818 --> 00:45:10,548
That's not a nice word
to use to your sister.
625
00:45:15,493 --> 00:45:17,825
"Don't sit under the apple tree
626
00:45:17,962 --> 00:45:20,396
"With anyone else but me
627
00:45:20,664 --> 00:45:23,326
"Anyone else but me
628
00:45:23,401 --> 00:45:25,995
"Anyone else but me
No, no, no
629
00:45:26,203 --> 00:45:28,262
"Don't sit under the apple tree
630
00:45:28,672 --> 00:45:31,163
"With anyone else but me
631
00:45:31,242 --> 00:45:34,575
"Till I come marching home"
632
00:45:42,486 --> 00:45:44,784
Hey, would you come
and play for the G.I.'s?
633
00:45:44,855 --> 00:45:47,255
I mean, we'd guarantee
a convoy down, of course.
634
00:45:47,892 --> 00:45:51,419
I say it would be an honor to be
of service to Mr. Roosevelt.
635
00:45:53,197 --> 00:45:54,755
Excuse me.
636
00:45:55,399 --> 00:45:56,866
Are you a chap?
637
00:45:57,134 --> 00:45:59,466
Yes, that's why I pee standing up.
638
00:45:59,537 --> 00:46:01,505
Shouldn't you be in the Armed Forces?
639
00:46:01,572 --> 00:46:02,766
Absolutely not.
640
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:04,239
I've taken advice.
641
00:46:04,842 --> 00:46:07,709
Dressed like this,
I'd be far too easy a target.
642
00:46:08,145 --> 00:46:11,842
You just bought yourself
a one-way ticket to Shitsville, pal.
643
00:46:14,385 --> 00:46:16,114
Where are you taking him?
644
00:46:16,821 --> 00:46:19,016
- Elizabeth!
- Patrick?
645
00:46:19,156 --> 00:46:21,147
Please, you can't! Patrick!
646
00:46:26,864 --> 00:46:30,664
- That lad ought to be ashamed of himself.
- Look! What's he supposed to...
647
00:46:30,734 --> 00:46:33,794
Elizabeth, you play beautifully, sensually!
648
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:37,036
Can anybody play the drums?
649
00:46:39,343 --> 00:46:40,640
I've picked up the odd hint...
650
00:46:40,878 --> 00:46:43,073
...that you're unhappy about
my friendship with Patrick.
651
00:46:44,482 --> 00:46:45,574
So, here he is.
652
00:46:45,649 --> 00:46:48,015
And he's very happy to explain himself.
653
00:46:48,919 --> 00:46:51,581
I think it isn't the friendship as such.
654
00:46:52,022 --> 00:46:54,252
It's just too soon.
655
00:46:55,326 --> 00:46:57,226
Too soon after your father's death.
656
00:46:57,294 --> 00:47:00,161
At a time when I'm still
emotionally vulnerable.
657
00:47:00,231 --> 00:47:01,220
Well, yes.
658
00:47:01,532 --> 00:47:04,057
That being so,
Elizabeth should not be consorting...
659
00:47:04,135 --> 00:47:05,534
...with an aging Lothario.
660
00:47:05,836 --> 00:47:09,067
Even though he sends me flowers
two or three times a week.
661
00:47:09,273 --> 00:47:13,767
My concern is about you making
terrible fools of yourselves...
662
00:47:14,078 --> 00:47:16,273
...and of us at the school dance.
663
00:47:16,347 --> 00:47:18,338
Patrick will answer all the charges.
664
00:47:18,616 --> 00:47:22,450
- May I offer the case for the defense?
- Please. We're here to listen.
665
00:47:22,786 --> 00:47:23,650
Thank you.
666
00:47:24,054 --> 00:47:25,954
Well, I'll start with the easy bit.
667
00:47:26,023 --> 00:47:29,083
It's true that in the beginning,
I wore a pretty frock.
668
00:47:29,293 --> 00:47:33,491
And I played Run Rabbit Run
when I was one of those rabbits...
669
00:47:33,597 --> 00:47:35,690
...and I was running.
670
00:47:36,333 --> 00:47:40,429
And later on, after I donned the khaki,
I did win some medals.
671
00:47:40,504 --> 00:47:41,630
You won medals?
672
00:47:41,705 --> 00:47:42,933
Can we see them?
673
00:47:46,377 --> 00:47:49,972
I always carry this one
as a good luck charm.
674
00:47:51,282 --> 00:47:55,116
I was carrying it the day I met your
grandmother again after all these years.
675
00:47:55,352 --> 00:47:57,081
- Is it a good one?
- Yes, it is.
676
00:47:57,555 --> 00:47:58,852
It's a Military Cross.
677
00:47:59,123 --> 00:48:00,613
Seriously brilliant.
678
00:48:01,258 --> 00:48:02,782
But it's all irrelevant.
679
00:48:02,860 --> 00:48:05,829
What you have to understand
is that for six years...
680
00:48:06,530 --> 00:48:09,556
...we all lived with the possibility
that every second...
681
00:48:09,633 --> 00:48:11,191
...we could be killed.
682
00:48:13,337 --> 00:48:15,305
And that focuses the mind.
683
00:48:16,807 --> 00:48:19,674
It's frightening, yes, but it's also liberating.
684
00:48:20,611 --> 00:48:24,911
The ultimate gamble,
the biggest crap game ever invented.
685
00:48:27,051 --> 00:48:28,678
And your mother and l...
686
00:48:30,921 --> 00:48:31,945
We feel guilty.
687
00:48:32,823 --> 00:48:33,812
Do we?
688
00:48:33,924 --> 00:48:35,858
How many died? 20, 30 million?
689
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:38,658
And yet for some of us who survived...
690
00:48:38,963 --> 00:48:40,453
...it was totally wonderful.
691
00:48:41,899 --> 00:48:44,299
- Totally wonderful, true or false?
- True.
692
00:48:44,501 --> 00:48:47,766
And we can't say it out loud
except to other Blonde Bombshells.
693
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:51,504
Playing at the dance,
well, that's our little attempt to have...
694
00:48:51,575 --> 00:48:54,442
...one last gamble before we shuffle off...
695
00:48:55,045 --> 00:48:57,809
...to the great Metropole
Ballroom in the sky.
696
00:49:00,918 --> 00:49:02,647
That was very impressive.
697
00:49:03,053 --> 00:49:05,248
When did you win the Military Cross?
698
00:49:05,656 --> 00:49:07,783
I forget exactly, 1963-4.
699
00:49:07,858 --> 00:49:08,950
Which war?
700
00:49:09,526 --> 00:49:12,120
Actually, I won it at poker
from an old war hero...
701
00:49:12,196 --> 00:49:13,686
...down on his luck.
702
00:49:13,764 --> 00:49:15,698
- That's despicable.
- I was desperate.
703
00:49:15,766 --> 00:49:17,529
I want your family to like me.
704
00:49:20,237 --> 00:49:22,432
What the hell is that?
705
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:26,307
This belongs to Sid.
706
00:49:27,111 --> 00:49:28,908
Who's Sid, another weird lodger?
707
00:49:28,979 --> 00:49:32,847
He used to be my partner in the casino
until he decided to go straight.
708
00:49:33,117 --> 00:49:35,210
Now, he sells used cars.
709
00:49:35,653 --> 00:49:37,280
I told him, "Sid...
710
00:49:38,489 --> 00:49:41,185
"...I need to borrow a really special motor...
711
00:49:41,592 --> 00:49:44,186
"...to take a really special someone
to Scotland."
712
00:49:44,261 --> 00:49:46,821
You can thank Sid,
but I'm not coming with you.
713
00:49:46,897 --> 00:49:48,057
What?
714
00:49:48,232 --> 00:49:50,427
I got my credit card statement
this morning.
715
00:49:50,501 --> 00:49:52,366
- So?
- Those flowers you've sent me...
716
00:49:52,436 --> 00:49:54,870
...you've been charging
to my bloody credit card.
717
00:49:54,938 --> 00:49:55,927
Obviously.
718
00:49:56,006 --> 00:49:58,600
I'm not allowed one.
I only spent the money on you.
719
00:49:58,676 --> 00:50:01,236
- How did you get the number?
- I used my initiative.
720
00:50:01,912 --> 00:50:03,436
You looked in my handbag.
721
00:50:04,481 --> 00:50:08,042
- You make it sound horrible.
- It is horrible. You're pathetic.
722
00:50:08,452 --> 00:50:10,181
All right, I apologize.
723
00:50:10,254 --> 00:50:12,484
I'm devastated,
I should've asked permission.
724
00:50:12,556 --> 00:50:15,923
Shut your face, go to Scotland,
and come back with a trumpet player.
725
00:50:15,993 --> 00:50:18,086
It won't be the same without you.
726
00:50:18,295 --> 00:50:22,322
Go to the dogs. Go to Wolverhampton.
Go to hell! I don't care!
727
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:24,697
Such a pity, you know.
728
00:50:26,270 --> 00:50:28,932
Sleeping beauties generally
weigh in at 100 years.
729
00:50:29,573 --> 00:50:32,906
And the usual arrangement
is for the frog to turn into the prince...
730
00:50:32,976 --> 00:50:35,035
...not the other way around.
731
00:50:44,488 --> 00:50:46,012
Bloody door.
732
00:50:56,900 --> 00:51:00,301
"For you take the high road
And I'll take the low road
733
00:51:00,437 --> 00:51:02,962
"And I'll be in Scotland afore ye
734
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:06,700
"But me and my true love
Will never meet again
735
00:51:06,777 --> 00:51:10,144
"On the bonny banks of Loch Lomond
736
00:51:13,317 --> 00:51:15,979
"By yon bonny banks
737
00:51:16,053 --> 00:51:19,022
"And by yon bonny braes
738
00:51:19,590 --> 00:51:22,252
"Where the sun shines bright
739
00:51:22,593 --> 00:51:24,652
"On Loch Lomond
740
00:51:25,929 --> 00:51:28,727
"Where me and my true love
741
00:51:29,199 --> 00:51:31,633
"Will never meet again
742
00:51:31,935 --> 00:51:37,669
"On the bonny, bonny banks
of Loch Lomond
743
00:51:38,675 --> 00:51:42,076
"Oh, you take the high road
And I'll take the low road
744
00:51:42,146 --> 00:51:45,081
"And I'll be in Scotland before ye
745
00:51:45,349 --> 00:51:48,079
"But me and my true love
Will never meet again
746
00:51:48,252 --> 00:51:51,449
"On the bonny, bonny banks
of Loch Lomond
747
00:52:11,208 --> 00:52:13,108
"O you take the high road
748
00:52:13,177 --> 00:52:14,735
"And I'll take the low road
749
00:52:14,812 --> 00:52:17,542
"And I'll be in Scotland afore ye
750
00:52:17,614 --> 00:52:20,742
"But me and my true love
Will never meet again
751
00:52:20,851 --> 00:52:23,877
"On the bonny, bonny banks
of Loch Lomond"
752
00:52:36,767 --> 00:52:38,291
Pardon?
753
00:52:38,535 --> 00:52:40,594
You'll be the gentleman.
754
00:52:40,871 --> 00:52:43,305
And this will be your suitcase.
755
00:52:43,373 --> 00:52:45,273
And you will be chilly, I dare say.
756
00:52:45,342 --> 00:52:47,071
Yes, it's just possible.
757
00:52:47,678 --> 00:52:49,043
Sure.
758
00:52:49,179 --> 00:52:51,909
- This will help.
- Thank you so much. Thank you.
759
00:52:56,119 --> 00:52:58,144
Oh, great dogs.
760
00:52:58,755 --> 00:53:00,120
Patti, Maxine...
761
00:53:00,991 --> 00:53:02,151
...and Laverne.
762
00:53:02,860 --> 00:53:05,454
After The Andrews Sisters.
763
00:53:05,529 --> 00:53:08,828
Um, one of them is a boy.
764
00:53:09,333 --> 00:53:11,824
The lady of the house is most insistent...
765
00:53:12,269 --> 00:53:13,736
...in the matter of names.
766
00:53:17,074 --> 00:53:19,474
Good god. When did you get here?
767
00:53:19,943 --> 00:53:21,535
The overnight sleeper.
768
00:53:22,813 --> 00:53:25,407
Central heating and a roof.
769
00:53:26,083 --> 00:53:28,017
Does this mean I'm forgiven?
770
00:53:28,285 --> 00:53:31,118
Absolutely not. I didn't think you'd come.
771
00:53:32,523 --> 00:53:34,514
But we needed a trumpet player.
772
00:53:34,992 --> 00:53:37,187
And I didn't trust you to deliver one.
773
00:53:37,261 --> 00:53:40,526
I wouldn't trust you to deliver
a bottle of semi-skimmed milk.
774
00:53:40,597 --> 00:53:41,962
Thanks so much.
775
00:53:43,300 --> 00:53:44,858
Have you seen Dinah?
776
00:53:44,935 --> 00:53:48,666
Apparently, the lady of the house
doesn't appear in the hours of daylight.
777
00:53:49,172 --> 00:53:51,697
She's probably bricked up
in the west wing.
778
00:53:52,976 --> 00:53:55,536
As soon as the gentleman
has finished his wee dram...
779
00:53:55,612 --> 00:53:57,910
...l'll show him to his accommodation.
780
00:54:12,996 --> 00:54:15,328
We have prepared two bedrooms.
781
00:54:15,399 --> 00:54:19,426
The lady of the house is of the opinion
you'd require only one.
782
00:54:20,237 --> 00:54:23,263
- How many rooms would you be requiring?
- Two, please.
783
00:54:23,574 --> 00:54:26,134
Would they be adjoining
for personal preference?
784
00:54:26,209 --> 00:54:28,939
They should be separated
by a wide stretch of water...
785
00:54:29,012 --> 00:54:31,037
...for personal preference.
786
00:54:33,984 --> 00:54:35,349
Thank you, McNab.
787
00:54:35,819 --> 00:54:37,047
Ma'am.
788
00:54:37,688 --> 00:54:39,781
Thank you, Dinah.
That was a wonderful meal.
789
00:54:39,856 --> 00:54:44,520
- It's a nice little place you've got here.
- I married well and frequently.
790
00:54:45,729 --> 00:54:49,460
But I know all the dirt on me.
I want to know the dirt on you.
791
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,662
Does this mean you've
completed the set, Patrick?
792
00:54:52,736 --> 00:54:55,500
There's no dirt on us.
We're pure as the driven snow.
793
00:54:55,572 --> 00:54:56,971
I hate snow.
794
00:54:57,274 --> 00:54:59,139
It's so goddamned white.
795
00:55:01,912 --> 00:55:04,244
What you mean, completed the set?
796
00:55:05,248 --> 00:55:08,740
He hasn't told you about
the roses on the drum kit?
797
00:55:08,819 --> 00:55:12,619
No, I've tended to go off flowers recently,
as it happens.
798
00:55:13,323 --> 00:55:15,052
Are you going to tell her or shall I?
799
00:55:21,298 --> 00:55:26,258
Well, actually, I got the idea
from the spitfire pilots during the war.
800
00:55:32,876 --> 00:55:37,074
"Pardon me, boy
Is that the Chattanooga choo-choo?
801
00:55:37,848 --> 00:55:39,873
"Track 29
802
00:55:40,617 --> 00:55:43,677
"Boy you can give me a shine
803
00:55:44,888 --> 00:55:48,949
"I can afford
To board the Chattanooga choo-choo
804
00:55:50,060 --> 00:55:52,119
"I got my fare
805
00:55:52,629 --> 00:55:54,494
"And just the travel to spare
806
00:55:55,732 --> 00:55:59,691
"You leave the Pennsylvania station
About a quarter to four
807
00:55:59,870 --> 00:56:02,896
"Read a magazine
And then you're in Baltimore
808
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:05,804
"Dinner in a diner
Nothing could be finer
809
00:56:05,976 --> 00:56:08,706
"Than to have your ham and eggs
In Carolina
810
00:56:09,079 --> 00:56:11,513
"When you hear the whistle
Blowing into the bar
811
00:56:12,215 --> 00:56:14,979
"Then you know that Tennessee
Is not very far
812
00:56:15,152 --> 00:56:17,985
"Shove a lot of coal in
Got to keep it rollin'
813
00:56:18,855 --> 00:56:20,914
"Chattanooga, there you are"
814
00:56:24,995 --> 00:56:26,963
Yeah, he screwed the lot of us.
815
00:56:27,264 --> 00:56:29,926
I looked upon it
as my contribution to the war effort.
816
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,467
And what about the fight?
817
00:56:31,535 --> 00:56:35,096
Never mind about the adolescent
sex and the fights. What about the music?
818
00:56:36,273 --> 00:56:40,004
What you tell me is that
the Blonde Bombshell reunion band...
819
00:56:40,077 --> 00:56:41,908
...thus far comprises you two...
820
00:56:42,279 --> 00:56:44,440
...a foul-mouthed piano player...
821
00:56:44,514 --> 00:56:47,244
...an alto player out
of the slammer on bail...
822
00:56:47,317 --> 00:56:49,911
...a trombone player in the arms of Jesus...
823
00:56:50,220 --> 00:56:52,484
...a de facto lunatic, two corpses...
824
00:56:52,556 --> 00:56:54,956
...and a singer who won't
show up on the night.
825
00:56:55,425 --> 00:56:57,620
And not forgetting your lovely self.
826
00:56:59,996 --> 00:57:01,088
Do you still play?
827
00:57:02,632 --> 00:57:04,122
Do I still play?
828
00:57:07,137 --> 00:57:08,798
A little story.
829
00:57:09,272 --> 00:57:12,708
My grandson plays trumpet
in his high school band...
830
00:57:13,143 --> 00:57:14,974
...in Boston, Massachusetts.
831
00:57:15,312 --> 00:57:18,543
On a recent visit
to Grandma's magic castle...
832
00:57:18,615 --> 00:57:20,549
...in downtown Brigadoon.
833
00:57:21,318 --> 00:57:22,945
He consulted me.
834
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:25,686
I gave him a lesson, and guess what?
835
00:57:25,756 --> 00:57:28,691
I can still blow this thing.
I can still part the waters...
836
00:57:28,759 --> 00:57:31,159
...and bring down the walls of the city.
837
00:57:47,010 --> 00:57:48,602
That's seriously brilliant.
838
00:57:56,753 --> 00:58:00,849
Sadly, the lady is an officially
recognized alcoholic.
839
00:58:01,291 --> 00:58:03,759
- Does this often happen?
- Every night.
840
00:58:03,827 --> 00:58:05,954
But she knows she is an alcoholic.
841
00:58:06,229 --> 00:58:10,290
And apparently that's the first step
towards a cure.
842
00:58:10,667 --> 00:58:14,159
- How long has it been going on?
- Since the Second World War.
843
00:58:15,038 --> 00:58:17,302
An unhappy love affair, seemingly.
844
00:58:19,976 --> 00:58:23,241
- Men can be swine.
- So I'm led to believe.
845
00:58:30,020 --> 00:58:31,282
Elizabeth.
846
00:58:32,122 --> 00:58:33,282
What?
847
00:58:35,625 --> 00:58:37,354
I need to ask you something.
848
00:58:37,427 --> 00:58:38,724
Patrick.
849
00:58:38,795 --> 00:58:40,456
Mind if I sit down?
850
00:58:41,264 --> 00:58:43,198
It's been a long day.
851
00:58:43,767 --> 00:58:46,668
And I'm not cold and I'm not frightened.
852
00:58:46,803 --> 00:58:50,170
And there are no bombs falling.
Scotland's not at war.
853
00:58:50,907 --> 00:58:53,375
And I have no intention
of completing your set.
854
00:58:53,443 --> 00:58:55,604
What's it like being a woman?
855
00:58:56,680 --> 00:58:58,113
What?
856
00:58:58,381 --> 00:59:01,179
Well, sit down.
857
00:59:03,353 --> 00:59:07,585
Well, you see, the last weeks
I've relived quite a lot of my past life.
858
00:59:08,291 --> 00:59:10,885
Most of it seems to have
been a bit of a shambles.
859
00:59:11,294 --> 00:59:13,262
Well, that was well spotted.
860
00:59:13,330 --> 00:59:16,629
And I think quite a lot of that
shambles could have been avoided...
861
00:59:16,700 --> 00:59:19,533
...if I'd tried a bit harder
to understand women.
862
00:59:20,804 --> 00:59:24,001
Which is odd since I pretended
to be one for so long.
863
00:59:25,008 --> 00:59:26,202
But...
864
00:59:27,077 --> 00:59:28,874
Well, that doesn't really help.
865
00:59:28,945 --> 00:59:31,812
I mean, women...
Well, you're different, aren't you?
866
00:59:32,148 --> 00:59:35,777
Yes, we have babies and husbands
and washing machines.
867
00:59:39,356 --> 00:59:41,119
I see your family...
868
00:59:41,825 --> 00:59:44,953
...and I see three generations
of women and it's lovely.
869
00:59:47,030 --> 00:59:49,055
Wish I had generations.
870
00:59:50,700 --> 00:59:53,669
Much too late for that.
It's too late for everything.
871
00:59:54,971 --> 00:59:56,632
No, not everything.
872
00:59:57,607 --> 00:59:59,370
But I'm going to bed now.
873
01:00:01,645 --> 01:00:03,169
Why did you marry George?
874
01:00:05,482 --> 01:00:08,713
Patrick, you know what it was like.
875
01:00:10,253 --> 01:00:12,881
When I was a young woman,
your soul purpose in life...
876
01:00:12,956 --> 01:00:15,516
...was to get engaged
to a young man with prospects.
877
01:00:15,592 --> 01:00:17,822
So, I did. I met him at a staff dance.
878
01:00:17,894 --> 01:00:19,794
A dance. What was the band like?
879
01:00:19,863 --> 01:00:21,330
Oh, lousy.
880
01:00:22,699 --> 01:00:26,135
Jimmy Dickenson, and his Rhythm Rascals.
881
01:00:26,236 --> 01:00:28,500
I was a rhythm rascal once.
882
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:32,865
Now I'm serious and responsible.
883
01:00:35,078 --> 01:00:37,171
And I think I'm in love with you.
884
01:00:39,316 --> 01:00:41,409
No, you're not.
885
01:00:42,052 --> 01:00:45,146
You're just cold and frightened.
886
01:00:52,729 --> 01:00:54,697
- Goodnight, Patrick.
- Goodnight.
887
01:01:21,257 --> 01:01:23,691
Nice doggies.
Stay home and look after the lady.
888
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:26,888
She's a fine musician,
but she's not very well.
889
01:01:30,233 --> 01:01:32,599
Hey! Where the hell are you guys going?
890
01:01:34,004 --> 01:01:35,869
London, we've got a gig.
891
01:01:35,972 --> 01:01:38,907
And I'm held prisoner here against my will.
892
01:01:39,075 --> 01:01:41,043
Wait, I'm coming down!
893
01:01:41,144 --> 01:01:43,237
God, she's coming with us.
894
01:01:43,813 --> 01:01:47,214
- What should we do, head for the hills?
- These are the hills.
895
01:02:01,598 --> 01:02:03,793
SCHOOL DANCE
896
01:02:17,113 --> 01:02:19,138
Stage management, up the ladder.
897
01:02:19,382 --> 01:02:22,783
Hi, guys.
Sound check in 10 minutes, okay?
898
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:25,644
There you go.
899
01:02:26,322 --> 01:02:27,949
Well, this is it, D-Day.
900
01:02:28,058 --> 01:02:30,458
- Are you nervous?
- No, terrified.
901
01:02:35,999 --> 01:02:37,125
Any news on Dinah?
902
01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:39,668
Yes, she's happily ensconced
in the Savoy Hotel.
903
01:02:39,736 --> 01:02:41,226
We saw her at breakfast.
904
01:02:41,671 --> 01:02:43,662
She planned to order a small distillery...
905
01:02:43,740 --> 01:02:47,039
...from room service for later on.
- Oh, god.
906
01:02:47,110 --> 01:02:50,477
I'm in charge of catering
and Leslie's doing decorations.
907
01:02:50,647 --> 01:02:52,911
Hi, Leslie. You're working well.
908
01:02:52,982 --> 01:02:54,643
The decor's gonna be a wow.
909
01:02:54,717 --> 01:02:56,912
Oh, I don't really like wows.
910
01:02:57,654 --> 01:03:00,282
Hey, what manner of place is this?
911
01:03:00,490 --> 01:03:03,050
This is where we're gonna
make sweet music.
912
01:03:03,359 --> 01:03:04,690
Forget it, she's here.
913
01:03:04,761 --> 01:03:07,321
- Evelyn!
- Dinah!
914
01:03:08,064 --> 01:03:12,262
- You're looking good for a jailbird.
- I've been rehabilitated.
915
01:03:12,435 --> 01:03:13,697
Annie!
916
01:03:15,472 --> 01:03:17,838
Dinah, good to see you.
917
01:03:18,408 --> 01:03:19,432
Betty.
918
01:03:19,509 --> 01:03:21,443
Glad you could make it, Dinah.
919
01:03:22,512 --> 01:03:26,471
- The famous roses.
- Oh, him and his bloody roses.
920
01:03:26,616 --> 01:03:30,552
Just for the record, mine is quite definitely
there under false pretenses.
921
01:03:30,620 --> 01:03:33,350
I'd been drinking.
I don't remember very much about it.
922
01:03:33,423 --> 01:03:36,017
Far as I can recall,
it was deeply embarrassing...
923
01:03:36,092 --> 01:03:37,821
...and desperately quick.
924
01:03:37,894 --> 01:03:40,886
It was horrible. I try not to think about it.
925
01:03:41,498 --> 01:03:44,228
I haven't seen you guys since the big fight.
926
01:03:44,300 --> 01:03:46,860
Look. Will somebody tell me
about the big fight?
927
01:03:46,936 --> 01:03:49,530
It was the day we were
gonna play for the Yanks.
928
01:03:49,606 --> 01:03:52,837
You couldn't come.
They wouldn't allow you off school.
929
01:04:00,350 --> 01:04:01,647
Hey, sweet cakes!
930
01:04:01,718 --> 01:04:03,083
I love Americans.
931
01:04:05,755 --> 01:04:07,723
Hey, blondie, over here!
932
01:04:07,957 --> 01:04:09,925
Marry me, I love you!
933
01:04:11,227 --> 01:04:12,785
Girls, calm down.
934
01:04:13,596 --> 01:04:15,655
- Hi, girls.
- Hello.
935
01:04:15,999 --> 01:04:18,263
Welcome to New Jersey on Thames.
936
01:04:18,501 --> 01:04:21,026
- It's a pleasure to be here.
- A pleasure to be here.
937
01:04:21,104 --> 01:04:26,064
Well, that remains to be seen.
We've got a slight technical difficulty.
938
01:04:30,380 --> 01:04:32,211
- This is it.
- Watch your heels, girls.
939
01:04:32,282 --> 01:04:33,943
Welcome to our social club.
940
01:04:34,484 --> 01:04:35,883
- Careful, Dinah.
- What happened?
941
01:04:35,952 --> 01:04:39,911
- So much for our big night.
- A doodle bug. A flying bomb.
942
01:04:40,290 --> 01:04:43,259
- I hope we still get paid.
- The guys were real disappointed.
943
01:04:43,326 --> 01:04:45,055
They heard you on the radio.
944
01:04:45,128 --> 01:04:48,655
And they found out you all were dames,
you can imagine.
945
01:04:48,731 --> 01:04:50,858
I'm the one who's disappointed.
946
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:53,127
That's the lady from the bathroom.
947
01:04:53,570 --> 01:04:55,561
- Hey, girls.
- Darling boy.
948
01:04:55,638 --> 01:04:57,538
Put that man down. He's mine!
949
01:04:57,640 --> 01:04:58,868
No, he isn't.
950
01:04:58,942 --> 01:05:02,139
Patrick and I are secretly engaged.
And I want everyone to know it.
951
01:05:02,212 --> 01:05:04,874
Well, I got some news.
He's actually engaged to me.
952
01:05:04,948 --> 01:05:06,347
He's even met my mother.
953
01:05:06,416 --> 01:05:09,476
Sorry, girls, he's marrying me
as soon as the war's over.
954
01:05:09,552 --> 01:05:12,043
I just bought a silk nightie
on the black market.
955
01:05:12,121 --> 01:05:13,247
He's marrying me.
956
01:05:13,323 --> 01:05:15,791
I spoke to the vicar
and he gave me some booklets.
957
01:05:15,858 --> 01:05:18,793
He proposed to me.
In the boiler house on Tuesday.
958
01:05:19,028 --> 01:05:21,155
He proposed to me on Thursday.
959
01:05:21,231 --> 01:05:24,257
You're all wasting your time.
Patrick's already married to me.
960
01:05:24,334 --> 01:05:25,824
- Come on.
- Please.
961
01:05:25,902 --> 01:05:27,733
We got married this morning.
962
01:05:28,338 --> 01:05:30,772
- You lying bitch.
- Tell them, dear.
963
01:05:31,574 --> 01:05:33,508
- Yes, tell us.
- You lied to us.
964
01:05:34,444 --> 01:05:36,912
Tell us. Go on, what's all this rubbish?
965
01:05:36,980 --> 01:05:41,610
It's true. I got a 48-hour pass
so I could get married and play the gig.
966
01:05:42,285 --> 01:05:44,515
Anyway, tomorrow I go off to foreign parts.
967
01:05:44,587 --> 01:05:46,782
- Lf you live that long.
- He won't.
968
01:05:53,396 --> 01:05:54,795
Well, how was it?
969
01:05:56,065 --> 01:05:58,659
- You tell them.
- Dinah, you were sharp.
970
01:05:59,102 --> 01:06:01,332
Evie, you were flat.
971
01:06:01,437 --> 01:06:05,203
And Annie, you were in tune,
but you've forgotten how to swing.
972
01:06:06,042 --> 01:06:09,170
And Patrick, you sound like
you're wearing a surgical boot.
973
01:06:09,245 --> 01:06:11,577
- What about me?
- Oh, you were fine, darling.
974
01:06:11,648 --> 01:06:14,344
- She would say that. You're her favorite.
- Oh, please.
975
01:06:14,417 --> 01:06:16,408
- Girls, girls.
- Oh, shut up!
976
01:06:16,486 --> 01:06:18,386
Go screw yourself.
977
01:06:18,888 --> 01:06:22,119
That's as individuals.
As a unit, we were crap.
978
01:06:22,292 --> 01:06:24,954
Maybe we were crap way back in 1944...
979
01:06:25,061 --> 01:06:26,585
...except in our dreams.
980
01:06:26,663 --> 01:06:30,497
Hey, and that's another thing.
There's to be no drinking on the stand.
981
01:06:30,700 --> 01:06:33,430
Sorry, babe. This is not negotiable.
982
01:06:33,503 --> 01:06:36,199
Sober, I can't play a note.
Drunk, I can't play a note.
983
01:06:36,272 --> 01:06:39,503
But there's a point in the middle
where I play like a goddamn angel.
984
01:06:39,575 --> 01:06:42,703
Please, Dinah, do you mind?
I'd rather you didn't blaspheme.
985
01:06:43,413 --> 01:06:45,005
This is a bandstand, sister.
986
01:06:45,081 --> 01:06:48,016
If you don't like it,
get thee to a fucking nunnery.
987
01:06:48,985 --> 01:06:50,213
That's enough!
988
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:51,544
I resign!
989
01:06:51,854 --> 01:06:52,912
I resign!
990
01:06:53,556 --> 01:06:55,148
You can't do that.
991
01:06:55,658 --> 01:06:57,091
Shit, I resign too.
992
01:06:57,160 --> 01:06:59,094
- Girls.
- Me too.
993
01:07:01,931 --> 01:07:05,059
I'm going back to the prison.
At least people are nice in prison.
994
01:07:10,406 --> 01:07:11,498
Come back.
995
01:07:12,075 --> 01:07:14,839
Your husband just dropped
the bomb on the band, lady.
996
01:07:15,945 --> 01:07:17,936
Stop, you're not going anywhere!
997
01:07:18,081 --> 01:07:19,946
You lot, you're a disgrace to women.
998
01:07:20,016 --> 01:07:21,608
I wouldn't disagree with that.
999
01:07:21,684 --> 01:07:25,950
- Don't you realize what's at stake here?
- What's at stake? I can't think of anything.
1000
01:07:26,255 --> 01:07:28,587
First off, the dance is in an hour's time.
1001
01:07:28,658 --> 01:07:32,321
There's 100 quid in it for you.
I had to fight the committee to get it.
1002
01:07:32,829 --> 01:07:35,798
- Is that 100 pounds each?
- No, between you to share.
1003
01:07:35,865 --> 01:07:37,127
And tea and biscuits.
1004
01:07:37,633 --> 01:07:40,659
If I give you 100 pounds,
may I proceed peacefully...
1005
01:07:40,737 --> 01:07:42,398
...to the nearest liquor store?
1006
01:07:42,472 --> 01:07:43,837
No, you may not!
1007
01:07:43,940 --> 01:07:47,137
And what about all my calls
to the French embassy in French?
1008
01:07:47,744 --> 01:07:49,473
What's she talking about?
1009
01:07:49,746 --> 01:07:51,407
Tracking down your Madeleine.
1010
01:07:53,583 --> 01:07:54,948
Madeleine?
1011
01:07:57,153 --> 01:07:58,814
Madeleine, do you still play?
1012
01:07:59,522 --> 01:08:02,650
A 5'3" woman doesn't lug
that instrument across Europe...
1013
01:08:02,725 --> 01:08:05,125
...on public transport just for the fun of it.
1014
01:08:05,495 --> 01:08:06,985
Have you started without me?
1015
01:08:07,063 --> 01:08:09,156
Only because we thought you were dead.
1016
01:08:10,366 --> 01:08:11,958
I'm very much alive.
1017
01:08:13,102 --> 01:08:15,593
Not so sure about the rest of you, though.
1018
01:08:18,941 --> 01:08:20,306
Elizabeth!
1019
01:08:24,480 --> 01:08:26,038
And Patrick.
1020
01:08:27,316 --> 01:08:28,476
Patrick.
1021
01:08:29,619 --> 01:08:32,247
The man who was going to marry me.
1022
01:08:36,459 --> 01:08:37,790
Now we can rehearse.
1023
01:09:43,326 --> 01:09:45,817
Apparently they're called Open Wound.
1024
01:09:46,195 --> 01:09:48,288
- Open what?
- Wound.
1025
01:09:49,365 --> 01:09:52,493
And the music they play is retro punk.
1026
01:09:53,202 --> 01:09:56,296
Well, I can't tell whether
this is any good or not.
1027
01:09:57,039 --> 01:09:59,064
I think we might be in the wrong place.
1028
01:09:59,141 --> 01:10:01,939
I think we might be
in the wrong bleeding century.
1029
01:10:12,955 --> 01:10:17,221
I will be good for the rest of my life
if you help me get through this, please.
1030
01:10:24,901 --> 01:10:26,960
- Any news of Gwen?
- Not as yet.
1031
01:10:28,170 --> 01:10:30,138
She doesn't show, we'll kill her.
1032
01:10:30,206 --> 01:10:32,037
You'll see to it. Right, babe?
1033
01:10:32,108 --> 01:10:35,475
There's a geezer comes in the bar.
He's in that line of work.
1034
01:10:35,678 --> 01:10:37,407
I know how to kill people.
1035
01:10:38,714 --> 01:10:41,342
Do you really know how to kill people?
1036
01:10:42,318 --> 01:10:44,980
It was necessary in the Resistance.
1037
01:10:45,888 --> 01:10:47,583
That's why I play music.
1038
01:10:47,990 --> 01:10:50,823
Music is the only clean thing I know.
1039
01:10:54,463 --> 01:10:55,452
There.
1040
01:10:55,798 --> 01:10:57,561
Now, how's that?
1041
01:10:59,468 --> 01:11:01,163
Second favorite lips.
1042
01:11:20,957 --> 01:11:23,721
- I've come to say I'm sorry.
- Sorry, what for?
1043
01:11:26,195 --> 01:11:27,457
It's all my fault.
1044
01:11:27,530 --> 01:11:31,057
If I hadn't been beautiful and talented,
we wouldn't have been on the BBC.
1045
01:11:31,133 --> 01:11:34,830
The man from the BBC wouldn't have seen
you and wouldn't have been arrested.
1046
01:11:34,904 --> 01:11:37,930
And you wouldn't be going off
to almost certain death.
1047
01:11:47,316 --> 01:11:48,442
That was you?
1048
01:11:49,819 --> 01:11:51,377
Of course it was.
1049
01:11:52,989 --> 01:11:55,924
I've been wondering for years
who that little schoolgirl was.
1050
01:11:55,992 --> 01:11:58,517
Maybe not years,
but a good 20 minutes, certainly.
1051
01:11:58,928 --> 01:12:01,488
Shut up. Say something sensible for once.
1052
01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:05,628
Will you marry me?
1053
01:12:07,103 --> 01:12:08,434
Absolutely not.
1054
01:12:09,438 --> 01:12:12,305
You don't even remember
you gave me my first grown-up kiss.
1055
01:12:12,375 --> 01:12:16,141
- I'm not very good at remembering.
- I'm still waiting for the second.
1056
01:12:25,321 --> 01:12:27,949
Open Wound will be back
later this evening.
1057
01:12:31,193 --> 01:12:34,560
And now, it's my pride and
privilege to introduce, well...
1058
01:12:34,730 --> 01:12:37,699
...my grandmother, actually.
And the Blonde Bombshells.
1059
01:12:40,670 --> 01:12:42,069
Thank you, Joanna.
1060
01:12:43,739 --> 01:12:48,608
A long time ago when the world
was young, I was a Blonde Bombshell.
1061
01:12:48,678 --> 01:12:51,442
I wasn't much older than
a lot of you here this evening.
1062
01:12:51,514 --> 01:12:54,210
Now, several decades later,
I made a discovery...
1063
01:12:55,184 --> 01:12:59,120
...that old people are just young people
who've been around for a long time.
1064
01:12:59,188 --> 01:13:00,314
Here's one.
1065
01:13:01,590 --> 01:13:03,114
From London, England...
1066
01:13:03,526 --> 01:13:07,326
...direct from the All Night Casino,
the little boy who never grew up...
1067
01:13:07,396 --> 01:13:10,888
...and the finest transvestite
percussionist of our time...
1068
01:13:11,267 --> 01:13:12,928
...Patrick on the drums.
1069
01:13:14,704 --> 01:13:17,298
From the end of the pier
at Hastings, England...
1070
01:13:17,373 --> 01:13:20,604
...a woman who has lived suspended
over the deep end of the ocean...
1071
01:13:20,676 --> 01:13:24,544
...for a long time and hasn't fallen in yet.
Betty on piano.
1072
01:13:28,084 --> 01:13:30,848
From the blood-soaked
continent of Europe...
1073
01:13:30,920 --> 01:13:35,016
...a woman who tells it like it was,
is, and ever more shall be...
1074
01:13:35,091 --> 01:13:37,218
...Madeleine on bass.
1075
01:13:39,295 --> 01:13:44,028
From the highlands of Scotland,
trailing glory, malt whiskey and alimony...
1076
01:13:44,100 --> 01:13:47,627
...Dinah plays the sweetest trumpet
this side of Jericho.
1077
01:13:55,144 --> 01:13:58,944
On abscondment from Christianity,
with a note countersigned by God...
1078
01:13:59,014 --> 01:14:02,142
...we say amen with Annie on trombone.
1079
01:14:05,888 --> 01:14:10,655
On parole from the debtors' prison and
getting help and care in the community...
1080
01:14:11,060 --> 01:14:14,359
...Evelyn on alto sax.
1081
01:14:18,868 --> 01:14:19,857
All right.
1082
01:14:21,203 --> 01:14:24,366
- I thought I'd come along for the fight.
- It's about time, Gwen.
1083
01:14:24,440 --> 01:14:25,930
- You missed it.
- Shit!
1084
01:14:26,008 --> 01:14:27,908
- You're going to sing?
- Introduce me.
1085
01:14:29,211 --> 01:14:33,341
From the Latin quarter of Wolverhampton,
the woman with a voice of gold...
1086
01:14:33,415 --> 01:14:37,112
...who never ever plays school dances
and totally unrehearsed...
1087
01:14:37,386 --> 01:14:38,478
...Gwen.
1088
01:14:39,155 --> 01:14:41,623
From the leafy suburbs of south London...
1089
01:14:42,158 --> 01:14:44,786
...the bombshell who made
all this possible...
1090
01:14:44,927 --> 01:14:46,792
...Elizabeth on tenor sax.
1091
01:14:59,141 --> 01:15:01,405
Put it all together and what have you got?
1092
01:15:01,510 --> 01:15:05,776
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Blonde Bombshells of the third age.
1093
01:15:10,019 --> 01:15:13,455
"It don't mean a thing
If you ain't got that swing
1094
01:15:18,327 --> 01:15:21,421
"It don't mean a thing
All you got to do is sing
1095
01:15:24,400 --> 01:15:27,494
"Makes no difference if it's sweet or
1096
01:15:31,640 --> 01:15:34,837
"Don't mean a thing
If you ain't got that swing
1097
01:15:57,032 --> 01:16:00,593
"Don't mean a thing
If you ain't got that swing
1098
01:16:16,418 --> 01:16:18,545
"Don't mean a thing, baby
1099
01:16:18,654 --> 01:16:21,054
"Don't mean a thing, my baby
1100
01:16:21,156 --> 01:16:23,215
"Don't mean a thing, baby
1101
01:16:24,026 --> 01:16:26,790
"Not if you ain't got that swing
1102
01:16:27,997 --> 01:16:29,089
"Swing
1103
01:16:29,665 --> 01:16:30,689
"Swing"
1104
01:16:58,227 --> 01:17:01,822
Sweetheart, I've just seen
little old Chip's drum kit.
1105
01:17:02,464 --> 01:17:03,362
Yes?
1106
01:17:03,699 --> 01:17:06,133
Does that mean what we think it means?
1107
01:17:06,535 --> 01:17:09,698
- He's completed the set?
- We found the keys to the boiler house.
1108
01:17:10,606 --> 01:17:12,096
And about time, too.
1109
01:17:13,442 --> 01:17:16,809
- You're not going to marry him, are you?
- Why shouldn't she?
1110
01:17:16,879 --> 01:17:19,404
Everyone should marry
Patrick at least once.
1111
01:17:19,481 --> 01:17:23,884
But I'm not. He was right the first time.
All I wanted was a bit of fun, dearie.
1112
01:17:36,465 --> 01:17:39,457
"They call me coquette and mademoiselle
1113
01:17:39,902 --> 01:17:43,099
"I must admit I like it quite well
1114
01:17:43,706 --> 01:17:46,573
"It's something to be the darling of all
1115
01:17:46,642 --> 01:17:49,770
"The grand femme fatale
"The belle of the ball
1116
01:17:50,746 --> 01:17:54,182
"There's nothing as gay as life in Paris
1117
01:17:54,850 --> 01:17:57,114
"There's no other person
1118
01:17:57,720 --> 01:18:00,120
"I'd rather be
1119
01:18:00,489 --> 01:18:02,855
"I love what I do
1120
01:18:03,559 --> 01:18:06,027
"I love what I see
1121
01:18:07,629 --> 01:18:11,531
"But where is the schoolgirl
That used to be me
1122
01:18:17,506 --> 01:18:19,133
"The apple trees
1123
01:18:21,310 --> 01:18:23,505
"Blossoms in the breeze
1124
01:18:26,248 --> 01:18:29,809
"That we walked amongst
1125
01:18:32,354 --> 01:18:34,413
"Lying in the hay
1126
01:18:36,525 --> 01:18:39,187
"Games we used to play
1127
01:18:41,163 --> 01:18:44,030
"While the rounds were sung
1128
01:18:46,568 --> 01:18:48,502
"Only yesterday
1129
01:18:50,873 --> 01:18:53,637
"When the world was young
1130
01:19:04,486 --> 01:19:08,013
"When the world was young"
1131
01:19:20,969 --> 01:19:23,802
Betty has started promoting
The Blonde Bombshells again...
1132
01:19:23,872 --> 01:19:27,205
...and booked us into every
seaside venue that will take us.
1133
01:19:27,910 --> 01:19:30,902
Annie allows herself to play
the devil's music...
1134
01:19:31,013 --> 01:19:33,880
...but has given up trying to save
the souls of musicians.
1135
01:19:34,583 --> 01:19:38,679
Evelyn has joined a government think tank
on the subject of prison reform.
1136
01:19:39,154 --> 01:19:43,454
Madeleine continues to be
slim and beautiful. We hate her for this.
1137
01:19:44,860 --> 01:19:48,387
Gwen has made several award-winning
albums of songs so old...
1138
01:19:48,464 --> 01:19:50,432
...that most people think they're new.
1139
01:19:50,799 --> 01:19:55,463
Dinah gives up drinking on a regular basis,
and has married her man servant.
1140
01:19:55,838 --> 01:19:57,999
She now calls herself "Mrs. Brown".
1141
01:19:58,874 --> 01:20:02,935
I changed my credit card,
but I realize I can't change Patrick.
1142
01:20:03,145 --> 01:20:06,911
He wants to make an honest woman
out of me, but that would spoil everything.
1143
01:20:07,449 --> 01:20:10,850
Being a Blonde Bombshell
is still the most fun I've ever had.
1144
01:20:11,820 --> 01:20:12,809
So far.
1145
01:23:00,789 --> 01:23:04,281
And if you need to hire a band
for your wedding, wake, or bar mitzvah...
1146
01:23:04,359 --> 01:23:07,089
...the Blonde Bombshells
are usually available.
1147
01:23:07,296 --> 01:23:08,923
Take it away, girlsl
87737
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