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There are
three things that are absolute
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and cannot be destroyed.
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00:00:45,010 --> 00:00:48,248
Awareness, being, and love.
4
00:00:49,447 --> 00:00:50,648
Rumi once wrote,
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00:00:50,682 --> 00:00:54,520
"Gamble everything for love
if you're a true human being.
6
00:00:54,553 --> 00:00:56,788
Half-heartedness does
not reach into majesty."
7
00:00:58,389 --> 00:00:59,624
My mother would say,
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00:00:59,657 --> 00:01:01,727
"The grass is only green if you
water it."
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At the beginning, everything
made sense.
10
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Your love, my love, our love.
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It had been 10 years since our
last visit.
12
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The previous one was to
celebrate our marriage.
13
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This one is an attempt
to heal the part of us
14
00:01:23,849 --> 00:01:25,050
that we'd lost.
15
00:01:31,490 --> 00:01:33,893
The beauty of an Italian
countryside hadn't changed
16
00:01:33,925 --> 00:01:35,627
but we had.
17
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:36,904
We reached the point where truth
18
00:01:36,928 --> 00:01:39,031
became more important than
feelings,
19
00:01:39,064 --> 00:01:41,467
and winning became more
important than truth.
20
00:01:43,502 --> 00:01:44,502
But in truth,
21
00:01:46,638 --> 00:01:47,638
it was always love.
22
00:01:48,874 --> 00:01:49,874
Hmm.
23
00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:52,710
Here we were.
24
00:01:53,879 --> 00:01:56,883
I thought it would be
therapeutical.
25
00:02:00,918 --> 00:02:01,918
So.
26
00:02:02,820 --> 00:02:03,820
This is us.
27
00:02:05,490 --> 00:02:07,894
Is therapeutical even a word?
28
00:02:14,566 --> 00:02:17,704
It's a therapeutic substance.
29
00:02:19,505 --> 00:02:21,806
So that's what we are,
substance.
30
00:02:21,839 --> 00:02:23,342
As in a matter of thought.
31
00:02:24,108 --> 00:02:25,811
You know the point I was making.
32
00:02:26,911 --> 00:02:28,413
Trying to make.
33
00:02:28,447 --> 00:02:30,549
Yeah, always with the quixotic
words.
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00:02:30,582 --> 00:02:31,517
Could have taken the easy route.
35
00:02:31,549 --> 00:02:34,452
Yeah well,
keeps 'em on their toes.
36
00:02:34,486 --> 00:02:35,488
Yes, you do.
37
00:02:38,891 --> 00:02:39,959
I need to pee.
38
00:02:41,793 --> 00:02:42,862
How long have we got?
39
00:02:42,894 --> 00:02:45,163
How long have we got until what?
40
00:02:45,197 --> 00:02:46,031
Till I have to go?
41
00:02:46,064 --> 00:02:47,667
That's right now.
42
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,934
Or until I pee myself, I don't
know.
43
00:02:49,968 --> 00:02:53,706
Last time that happened,
well, I was 12, so.
44
00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:56,709
You peed yourself at 12?
45
00:02:56,742 --> 00:02:57,943
Yeah I'd been drinking.
46
00:03:04,149 --> 00:03:06,151
We've only been on the road
for an hour,
47
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:08,921
I mean you couldn't have
done it at the airport?
48
00:03:08,953 --> 00:03:09,953
I did.
49
00:03:12,691 --> 00:03:14,994
So we have to empty every hour?
50
00:03:15,026 --> 00:03:16,428
I'm sorry, are we on a time
crunch?
51
00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:17,095
I wasn't aware.
52
00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:18,631
We are not, no.
53
00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:24,769
Just baffles me.
54
00:03:24,803 --> 00:03:26,581
You know, in fact it
baffles every man on earth.
55
00:03:26,605 --> 00:03:29,208
We pee before we hit the road.
56
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:33,511
It saves us from stopping for
around four hours at least.
57
00:03:33,544 --> 00:03:35,947
You know, keeps the journey
moving.
58
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,552
And your skin is looking 10
years older
59
00:03:39,584 --> 00:03:41,553
because you're never properly
hydrated.
60
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,490
You just had the basics of
evolutionary differences.
61
00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:48,894
When's the last time you
had more than eight ounces
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00:03:48,927 --> 00:03:50,196
of water in a day?
63
00:03:50,228 --> 00:03:52,064
Does coffee count?
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00:03:52,096 --> 00:03:53,096
No.
65
00:03:56,635 --> 00:03:58,036
Can you hold it?
66
00:04:42,748 --> 00:04:44,950
You know, silence is
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00:04:44,983 --> 00:04:47,887
the more regenerating, peaceful
option.
68
00:04:48,954 --> 00:04:49,989
It's pleasurable too.
69
00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:51,223
No.
70
00:04:51,255 --> 00:04:53,659
Isn't it great just to
hear the perfect song?
71
00:04:55,226 --> 00:04:57,562
Or a foreign voice just
sound like everything
72
00:04:57,596 --> 00:05:00,132
is from a Fellini film?
73
00:05:00,164 --> 00:05:02,567
Have you ever sat for
an entire Fellini film
74
00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:03,636
in your life?
75
00:05:03,668 --> 00:05:04,668
Be honest.
76
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:07,839
Do you know any other Italian
director
77
00:05:07,873 --> 00:05:08,707
of classic cinema, huh?
78
00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:09,876
You be honest.
79
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:16,281
Bertolucci, Zeffirelli, Chabrol.
80
00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:18,216
The last one was French, but
well played
81
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:19,250
on the other two.
82
00:05:20,618 --> 00:05:22,554
Man, you know me well.
83
00:05:22,587 --> 00:05:23,755
Better than anyone.
84
00:05:26,724 --> 00:05:28,693
Please, it's static.
85
00:05:28,726 --> 00:05:30,628
Just give me a minute, okay?
86
00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:33,132
If I don't find anything
that accents this view,
87
00:05:33,164 --> 00:05:34,732
it's the wind in your ears, I
promise.
88
00:05:34,765 --> 00:05:37,769
But I'm, I don't know, I'm
feeling it.
89
00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:39,670
Feeling something.
90
00:05:41,373 --> 00:05:42,575
Come on, FM.
91
00:05:43,642 --> 00:05:44,944
Gimme a sign.
92
00:05:44,976 --> 00:05:46,012
Gimme the perfect!
93
00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:49,380
Aha!
94
00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:52,817
Come on, huh?
95
00:05:52,851 --> 00:05:53,851
Right?
96
00:06:45,137 --> 00:06:46,137
Grazie.
97
00:06:48,940 --> 00:06:50,375
You'll inevitably eat my fries.
98
00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:54,089
Do you ever think that
they might be right,
99
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:57,683
or that they are unequivocally,
hands down right?
100
00:06:57,716 --> 00:06:59,718
What, about us?
101
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:03,856
About this, about this
whole thing we're doing.
102
00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:05,190
I guess if there were a mandate
103
00:07:05,223 --> 00:07:06,993
for a couple who are no more,
104
00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:10,262
it may imply that statistically
this
105
00:07:11,762 --> 00:07:13,065
ain't even on the table, yeah.
106
00:07:13,098 --> 00:07:14,767
I mean, they might have a point.
107
00:07:15,767 --> 00:07:17,835
But we were never the
go-to couple for normal.
108
00:07:17,868 --> 00:07:18,936
Hmm, thank god.
109
00:07:18,969 --> 00:07:21,974
Thank god.
110
00:07:22,007 --> 00:07:24,910
Yeah, we were amazing.
111
00:07:24,942 --> 00:07:25,577
We were good.
112
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:28,014
I don't know about amazing.
113
00:07:32,317 --> 00:07:33,719
My favorite thing to do
114
00:07:34,553 --> 00:07:36,288
was to go to some up your ass
event
115
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,157
that neither of us wanted
to get out of sweats for.
116
00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:40,758
And you'd be taken away from me
117
00:07:40,791 --> 00:07:43,027
for just whatever reason.
118
00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:45,397
I could always find you
in a room full of people
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00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:46,799
no matter who you were talking
to,
120
00:07:46,832 --> 00:07:49,735
you would look at me and wink.
121
00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:51,769
The wink is so underrated.
122
00:07:51,803 --> 00:07:53,805
People flee from the wink so
easily.
123
00:07:54,906 --> 00:07:56,242
Yours could change my world.
124
00:08:01,913 --> 00:08:04,450
Ugh, it just made me feel like
125
00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:07,219
we're the most important
people to each other.
126
00:08:08,786 --> 00:08:11,156
In that moment, no one else
mattered.
127
00:08:14,392 --> 00:08:16,028
I stand by it, we were amazing.
128
00:08:17,295 --> 00:08:18,931
People did envy our marriage.
129
00:08:20,164 --> 00:08:20,998
Did they?
130
00:08:21,031 --> 00:08:22,034
They did, yeah.
131
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,269
'Cause you were that girl.
132
00:08:25,837 --> 00:08:28,272
You were the template
for all my friends' wives
133
00:08:28,305 --> 00:08:30,375
and girlfriends to match up to.
134
00:08:30,408 --> 00:08:32,044
Impossible task I tell them.
135
00:08:33,411 --> 00:08:35,914
Of course, any time a
conversation
136
00:08:35,946 --> 00:08:38,049
arose about the grievances of
the women,
137
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:40,953
I would just sit there and
smirk,
138
00:08:40,985 --> 00:08:42,787
didn't feel the need to say
nothing.
139
00:08:44,488 --> 00:08:46,392
They all knew I had perfection
in you.
140
00:08:49,227 --> 00:08:51,329
That's why I fell so
hard when we derailed.
141
00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:59,038
Yeah, maybe that perfection
was hard to live up to.
142
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,507
Yeah, maybe.
143
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:02,540
We tried, Ryan.
144
00:09:04,441 --> 00:09:06,411
Both of us gave it everything we
had.
145
00:09:06,444 --> 00:09:07,444
I did.
146
00:09:08,847 --> 00:09:09,815
That's not fair.
147
00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:10,848
What? I did.
148
00:09:11,682 --> 00:09:14,519
The fundamental fact that
we all seem to miss is that
149
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:16,889
when a man falls in love,
150
00:09:16,921 --> 00:09:19,291
that's genuinely it for him.
151
00:09:20,425 --> 00:09:21,926
No exceptions, actually.
152
00:09:23,094 --> 00:09:24,372
I mean if I'd ever cheated on
you
153
00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:25,930
or walked out the door,
154
00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:27,800
I wouldn't have been in love,
period.
155
00:09:29,935 --> 00:09:33,071
When I'm in love, I will
fight for everything.
156
00:09:34,439 --> 00:09:37,009
Now, it might not be pleasant at
times,
157
00:09:37,041 --> 00:09:38,344
perhaps a little murky, but
158
00:09:39,110 --> 00:09:41,312
the truth is if I can call you
baby
159
00:09:41,345 --> 00:09:43,414
in front of anyone and not give
a damn
160
00:09:43,448 --> 00:09:46,518
how stupid that sounds,
161
00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:48,853
there isn't much I wouldn't do
162
00:09:48,887 --> 00:09:49,988
to keep her,
163
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:54,592
it, alive.
164
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,402
You don't think I fought?
165
00:10:07,238 --> 00:10:08,339
I think you gave way.
166
00:10:12,209 --> 00:10:14,546
I never replaced you, Ryan.
167
00:10:16,013 --> 00:10:17,013
I know.
168
00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:20,118
You just leaned to someone else.
169
00:10:20,151 --> 00:10:21,151
I get it.
170
00:10:23,021 --> 00:10:24,289
I was absent.
171
00:10:24,321 --> 00:10:25,456
I got distracted and
172
00:10:26,590 --> 00:10:28,293
my feelings were denied somehow.
173
00:10:31,429 --> 00:10:34,099
It's hard not to feel a
swelling rage because of it.
174
00:10:36,468 --> 00:10:39,103
Feels like you found a
better choice, you know?
175
00:10:41,473 --> 00:10:42,141
It's easier to love a stranger
176
00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:44,476
than someone you actually know.
177
00:10:45,977 --> 00:10:47,179
Maybe.
178
00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:49,981
I know what the wrongs are here.
179
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:51,583
I would hope so.
180
00:10:51,616 --> 00:10:52,985
Look, it's not a matter of me
181
00:10:53,017 --> 00:10:54,652
trying to convince you of my
opinions,
182
00:10:54,685 --> 00:10:59,325
but I do have reasons, and
they're valid, entitled.
183
00:11:02,927 --> 00:11:06,430
With a stranger, you can
put all of these ideals
184
00:11:06,464 --> 00:11:09,233
and ideas onto a blank canvas
185
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:11,435
without any of the hurtful
nuances
186
00:11:11,469 --> 00:11:14,138
that you've grown to
despise in your partner.
187
00:11:16,141 --> 00:11:20,279
But when you sit and
breathe and look at it
188
00:11:20,311 --> 00:11:22,914
from a rational space,
189
00:11:22,948 --> 00:11:26,351
you realize what an unbelievable
expectation that is.
190
00:11:26,383 --> 00:11:27,652
It's impossible.
191
00:11:29,353 --> 00:11:30,922
Maybe.
192
00:11:30,955 --> 00:11:32,224
Because we all have stuff.
193
00:11:32,257 --> 00:11:33,559
- Right.
- Right.
194
00:11:34,292 --> 00:11:36,394
We all are raised in different
ways
195
00:11:36,427 --> 00:11:39,998
and taught extreme truths.
196
00:11:40,031 --> 00:11:44,569
I mean how are you supposed
to love, marry, fuck
197
00:11:44,602 --> 00:11:47,472
someone from a completely
different world
198
00:11:47,504 --> 00:11:49,340
and assume it's gonna be an easy
ride?
199
00:11:49,373 --> 00:11:51,243
I mean you gotta be high.
200
00:11:53,511 --> 00:11:57,382
But if you're still holding
on to that hurt feeling,
201
00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:00,552
that swelling rage,
202
00:12:02,653 --> 00:12:04,088
babe, you gotta let it go.
203
00:12:07,592 --> 00:12:09,061
I didn't do it to hurt you.
204
00:12:10,561 --> 00:12:11,729
It was me.
205
00:12:11,762 --> 00:12:15,300
It was my things, my demons,
206
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:18,704
my feelings of inadequacy.
207
00:12:24,142 --> 00:12:26,078
I know it sounds so trite to say
208
00:12:26,110 --> 00:12:27,511
that it didn't mean anything,
209
00:12:27,545 --> 00:12:32,117
but it didn't mean anything.
210
00:12:38,055 --> 00:12:39,190
And I'm sorry.
211
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,064
I'm sorry for how it made
you feel, I really am.
212
00:12:59,076 --> 00:13:01,012
Didn't think we'd ever be back
here.
213
00:13:04,581 --> 00:13:06,417
Guess I thought we lost it.
214
00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:07,450
Yeah, me too.
215
00:13:08,619 --> 00:13:09,654
Glad we did not.
216
00:13:12,556 --> 00:13:14,435
How the fuck could we afford
such a decadent honeymoon
217
00:13:14,459 --> 00:13:15,292
in our 20s?
218
00:13:15,325 --> 00:13:16,661
Decadent?
219
00:13:16,694 --> 00:13:17,695
You didn't think so?
220
00:13:17,728 --> 00:13:20,565
It was a good honeymoon.
221
00:13:20,598 --> 00:13:21,599
It was a great honeymoon.
222
00:13:21,632 --> 00:13:24,402
Well, a great honeymoon
would have consisted
223
00:13:24,435 --> 00:13:26,537
of actual decadence.
224
00:13:26,570 --> 00:13:27,772
Wow, tough crowd.
225
00:13:29,339 --> 00:13:32,543
We did what we could.
226
00:13:32,576 --> 00:13:34,211
I wanted more.
227
00:13:34,244 --> 00:13:35,513
Yeah, like what?
228
00:13:35,546 --> 00:13:37,416
Crushing grapes beneath our toes
229
00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:41,453
and bike rides to the pasticeria
for fresh baked pastry.
230
00:13:41,485 --> 00:13:43,454
Or falling
asleep under the stars?
231
00:13:43,488 --> 00:13:45,290
That was on the hood of the car.
232
00:13:45,323 --> 00:13:46,391
Well at least it was warm.
233
00:13:46,424 --> 00:13:48,268
Well, we slept in that
car for like half the week.
234
00:13:48,292 --> 00:13:50,228
It was one night.
235
00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:52,739
We were getting older than we
wanted
236
00:13:52,763 --> 00:13:54,132
even in the earliest years.
237
00:14:00,371 --> 00:14:01,473
I found the letters.
238
00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:15,320
You never sent them to him.
239
00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:16,353
How come?
240
00:14:18,489 --> 00:14:19,690
I don't know.
241
00:14:20,892 --> 00:14:22,694
I knew how you would feel, I
guess.
242
00:14:24,796 --> 00:14:25,830
How I would feel.
243
00:14:31,268 --> 00:14:33,404
That's all I have for you.
244
00:14:34,472 --> 00:14:35,740
You think he was in love?
245
00:14:35,772 --> 00:14:36,841
- No.
- No?
246
00:14:38,575 --> 00:14:41,512
He knew it would never
get past infatuation.
247
00:14:41,546 --> 00:14:44,349
It was almost imaginary, to be
honest.
248
00:14:46,584 --> 00:14:48,752
He was just someone that
I could project onto,
249
00:14:48,786 --> 00:14:51,123
someone I thought would
encourage me,
250
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:55,560
support me, congratulate me,
251
00:14:55,593 --> 00:14:58,229
applaud me to order as much
off a menu as I wanted.
252
00:15:01,199 --> 00:15:05,303
He was a non-smoker, he
loved yoga, I don't know.
253
00:15:05,335 --> 00:15:07,472
I don't know what else to tell
you, Ryan.
254
00:15:08,672 --> 00:15:10,908
It was just an impulse.
255
00:15:10,941 --> 00:15:13,778
It was a fantasy.
256
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:17,580
It was an escape.
257
00:15:20,318 --> 00:15:22,221
And that's the truth, that's my
truth.
258
00:15:25,455 --> 00:15:26,455
It's all I got.
259
00:15:47,411 --> 00:15:49,547
Last time we were here,
you were 22 years old.
260
00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:51,282
Oh man, I remember her.
261
00:15:52,349 --> 00:15:53,349
That ass.
262
00:15:54,419 --> 00:15:55,720
She never lost that ass.
263
00:15:55,752 --> 00:15:56,954
All right, relax.
264
00:16:03,927 --> 00:16:04,927
Newman?
265
00:16:14,305 --> 00:16:15,540
Room number 117.
266
00:16:15,573 --> 00:16:17,309
Breakfast is come six.
267
00:16:17,342 --> 00:16:18,410
Perfect, Grazie.
268
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,512
Ooh, they have bocce!
269
00:16:21,546 --> 00:16:22,781
They have a what now?
270
00:16:22,814 --> 00:16:23,714
Bocce!
271
00:16:23,748 --> 00:16:24,616
What, you never played?
272
00:16:24,648 --> 00:16:26,350
Where have you been hiding?
273
00:16:27,719 --> 00:16:28,719
Is there a bar?
274
00:16:28,752 --> 00:16:30,189
I seem to remember a bar.
275
00:16:31,022 --> 00:16:32,523
Ah, it's closed.
276
00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:33,556
What?
277
00:16:34,492 --> 00:16:36,294
Ah, well.
278
00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:38,305
Would have earned some money
out of me tonight, my friends.
279
00:16:38,329 --> 00:16:40,265
Oh yeah, with one shot Ryan
280
00:16:40,297 --> 00:16:43,767
I'm sure they'll be devastated
with the loss of revenue.
281
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,470
You should be grateful
I don't drink that much.
282
00:16:46,503 --> 00:16:48,772
It's a passage of rites where I
come from.
283
00:16:48,805 --> 00:16:49,874
Where, Connecticut?
284
00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:52,411
Don't deny me my Irish roots.
285
00:16:53,344 --> 00:16:54,546
Okay, Oscar Wilde.
286
00:16:54,579 --> 00:16:55,579
Oscar?
287
00:16:56,613 --> 00:16:57,882
Was he Irish?
288
00:16:57,915 --> 00:16:59,384
Yeah, he was.
289
00:16:59,416 --> 00:17:00,416
Huh.
290
00:17:01,084 --> 00:17:03,421
Couldn't have gone with Bono,
hmm,
291
00:17:03,454 --> 00:17:05,457
or Liam Neeson perhaps.
292
00:17:05,489 --> 00:17:07,459
Eh, more fun to compare you to
Wilde.
293
00:17:07,491 --> 00:17:08,491
I could see that.
294
00:17:09,693 --> 00:17:10,693
Okay.
295
00:17:12,863 --> 00:17:13,863
This is us.
296
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:17,301
Us?
297
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,572
Relax, you're not that
irresistible.
298
00:17:22,507 --> 00:17:24,810
This isn't what the
trip was about, you know?
299
00:17:25,742 --> 00:17:26,742
I do.
300
00:17:30,047 --> 00:17:31,047
So?
301
00:17:34,986 --> 00:17:35,986
So.
302
00:17:37,721 --> 00:17:38,999
Do you think you can sleep next
to me
303
00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:41,426
without tearing my clothes off?
304
00:17:41,459 --> 00:17:44,962
Or do I have to pay for a
separate room?
305
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:47,598
No spooning.
306
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:51,637
My hands will remain
by my side all night.
307
00:17:53,004 --> 00:17:54,004
I know.
308
00:18:00,010 --> 00:18:01,812
I'm gonna wash 'em.
309
00:18:44,622 --> 00:18:45,622
Claudia?
310
00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:12,016
Good morning, handsome.
311
00:19:12,048 --> 00:19:13,048
Morning.
312
00:19:14,852 --> 00:19:16,530
You don't seem to be
very good at this game
313
00:19:16,554 --> 00:19:17,988
I've never heard of.
314
00:19:18,021 --> 00:19:18,822
Now how would you know?
315
00:19:18,855 --> 00:19:20,092
I'm awesome at it.
316
00:19:27,198 --> 00:19:28,166
What do you say we get out of
here
317
00:19:28,199 --> 00:19:29,500
before you're arrested?
318
00:19:30,668 --> 00:19:31,668
Yeah.
319
00:19:40,944 --> 00:19:43,881
I mean I don't blame her really.
320
00:19:43,914 --> 00:19:47,418
I think it's kind of normal
for them to fuck you up.
321
00:19:47,451 --> 00:19:48,519
It's their duty.
322
00:19:49,353 --> 00:19:51,088
Amazing set of parental
skills you'll have.
323
00:19:51,122 --> 00:19:52,122
Yeah, right?
324
00:19:53,557 --> 00:19:55,593
Look, I love my mom, I do.
325
00:19:55,625 --> 00:19:59,797
But just, the realistic
relationship that we have
326
00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:01,733
is not mother-daughter.
327
00:20:01,766 --> 00:20:02,667
It's?
328
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,736
It's narcissist enabler.
329
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:05,569
Hmm.
330
00:20:05,603 --> 00:20:06,804
I wish it wasn't true.
331
00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:10,408
I wish that we had a middle
of the road relationship, but,
332
00:20:11,709 --> 00:20:13,611
I mean I'm not even
asking for Margaret March,
333
00:20:13,643 --> 00:20:15,846
just someone that I can
learn something from.
334
00:20:16,713 --> 00:20:19,983
Okay two things, first,
Margaret who?
335
00:20:20,017 --> 00:20:21,052
March.
336
00:20:21,084 --> 00:20:22,554
The mom from Little Women.
337
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,458
Yeah, that reference is always
gonna be a stretch for me.
338
00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:29,727
And second, I'm not buying
the lack of life lessons
339
00:20:29,759 --> 00:20:30,895
your mother taught you.
340
00:20:31,828 --> 00:20:34,065
You're this amazing woman who
341
00:20:34,097 --> 00:20:37,134
glides through life
apparently effortlessly.
342
00:20:37,168 --> 00:20:38,236
Mhm, sure.
343
00:20:38,268 --> 00:20:39,938
And thank you.
344
00:20:39,970 --> 00:20:41,948
And I'm not saying that she
didn't have any influence
345
00:20:41,972 --> 00:20:43,740
on how I become.
346
00:20:43,774 --> 00:20:47,111
She's just the last person
I would ever turn to
347
00:20:47,143 --> 00:20:48,747
for help or for anything.
348
00:20:50,248 --> 00:20:51,982
But she did show me
how to not be a parent,
349
00:20:52,016 --> 00:20:53,618
so there's that.
350
00:20:53,651 --> 00:20:54,952
Well, that's something.
351
00:20:54,986 --> 00:20:56,755
Yeah, that is something.
352
00:21:00,024 --> 00:21:02,594
Is anyone's being really
designed
353
00:21:02,626 --> 00:21:04,495
to be shaped, to morph and
evolve
354
00:21:04,528 --> 00:21:07,231
into the exact same
fabric as their parents?
355
00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:08,265
Who knows?
356
00:21:09,734 --> 00:21:11,870
'Cause I had a happy
childhood, I think.
357
00:21:12,769 --> 00:21:15,940
You know, dad is my hero,
mom was an angel, but.
358
00:21:16,973 --> 00:21:18,542
I couldn't be more different.
359
00:21:19,776 --> 00:21:20,776
I hope so.
360
00:21:22,212 --> 00:21:23,714
Wow.
361
00:21:23,748 --> 00:21:24,582
Where do you wanna take that?
362
00:21:24,615 --> 00:21:26,651
I love your parents, but you
know,
363
00:21:26,683 --> 00:21:29,019
I would hope that the apple,
you,
364
00:21:29,053 --> 00:21:32,556
fell miles away from
that tree, your father.
365
00:21:32,590 --> 00:21:33,591
Poor guy.
366
00:21:33,623 --> 00:21:34,526
Why poor guy?
367
00:21:34,558 --> 00:21:36,661
Because, he's a good man, Cee.
368
00:21:37,961 --> 00:21:40,131
He's a great man, that's my
point.
369
00:21:40,163 --> 00:21:40,964
I love him, but you know
370
00:21:40,998 --> 00:21:43,535
he's made some choices in his
life
371
00:21:43,567 --> 00:21:44,768
that had been interesting,
372
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:48,106
and I think you can see that
if you'd followed that example
373
00:21:48,139 --> 00:21:49,507
it could be a problem.
374
00:21:52,142 --> 00:21:53,142
For who?
375
00:21:54,144 --> 00:21:55,913
Anyone.
376
00:21:55,947 --> 00:21:56,715
So let me get this straight.
377
00:21:56,748 --> 00:21:58,549
My father cheats, and that puts
me
378
00:21:58,583 --> 00:21:59,593
on a watch and advise list?
379
00:21:59,617 --> 00:22:03,654
You were presented
with that at a young age.
380
00:22:03,688 --> 00:22:06,190
The formative years leave a big
footprint.
381
00:22:06,222 --> 00:22:09,594
We'll so does watching
it tear your mother apart.
382
00:22:09,626 --> 00:22:10,761
It's a personal choice, see.
383
00:22:10,795 --> 00:22:12,863
I am not my father.
384
00:22:12,896 --> 00:22:14,164
You're not your mother, so.
385
00:22:14,931 --> 00:22:16,668
So why spend time fighting the
fact
386
00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:18,937
that we both seem to be scared
to death
387
00:22:18,969 --> 00:22:19,637
of that being the case?
388
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:23,575
I mean, if we are, we catch it.
389
00:22:23,607 --> 00:22:24,408
We become aware of it,
390
00:22:24,441 --> 00:22:27,077
and hopefully we're one step
closer
391
00:22:27,111 --> 00:22:28,813
to figuring that out than they
were.
392
00:22:28,845 --> 00:22:31,549
I mean, that's my gameplan.
393
00:22:32,248 --> 00:22:34,685
Living in the so be it?
394
00:22:34,719 --> 00:22:36,019
No.
395
00:22:36,053 --> 00:22:37,297
But not grabbing it by the
throat
396
00:22:37,321 --> 00:22:39,958
and shaking the air out of it
either.
397
00:22:39,990 --> 00:22:42,093
No, by letting go.
398
00:22:43,326 --> 00:22:44,228
It's not so be it.
399
00:22:44,260 --> 00:22:47,298
So be it is to acquiesce.
400
00:22:49,065 --> 00:22:51,769
I just don't let it have
that much of a hold over me.
401
00:22:53,069 --> 00:22:54,972
Anyway, could be worse.
402
00:22:55,006 --> 00:22:55,840
Could it?
403
00:22:55,873 --> 00:22:56,708
Absolutely.
404
00:22:56,740 --> 00:22:57,875
I could be my Grandpa.
405
00:22:58,843 --> 00:22:59,677
What, Frank?
406
00:22:59,709 --> 00:23:00,344
Oh, no, no, no, no.
407
00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:01,780
No, Frank, he's off limits.
408
00:23:02,813 --> 00:23:03,813
He's a sweetheart.
409
00:23:04,582 --> 00:23:07,118
No, William Deeks Newman, dad's
dad.
410
00:23:08,686 --> 00:23:10,388
We've never talked about him
much.
411
00:23:10,421 --> 00:23:12,023
How come?
412
00:23:12,055 --> 00:23:14,057
I don't know.
413
00:23:14,091 --> 00:23:15,727
He died when dad was a teen.
414
00:23:18,362 --> 00:23:19,772
You know I don't really remember
seeing
415
00:23:19,796 --> 00:23:22,033
more than one picture
of him around the house.
416
00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:25,002
I never met him, obviously.
417
00:23:25,702 --> 00:23:27,671
Heard he was a complete
scoundrel.
418
00:23:28,605 --> 00:23:33,010
And cloth merchant, gambling
man, perpetual philanderer.
419
00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:36,414
Now those are genes you
don't want bequeathed.
420
00:23:36,447 --> 00:23:39,250
I am sure, like all
the Newman men I have met
421
00:23:39,283 --> 00:23:41,185
he has his charms.
422
00:23:41,218 --> 00:23:42,987
I have no doubt, no.
423
00:23:43,019 --> 00:23:45,757
But that bloodline, had to be
diluted
424
00:23:45,789 --> 00:23:49,993
otherwise we'd all end up living
alone.
425
00:23:50,026 --> 00:23:51,929
Yeah, women's lib was
brought to the surface
426
00:23:51,961 --> 00:23:53,698
because of men like Grandpa
Bill.
427
00:23:55,098 --> 00:23:56,098
Could be worse.
428
00:24:16,453 --> 00:24:18,055
You see that?
429
00:24:18,088 --> 00:24:20,023
A private vineyard?
430
00:24:20,056 --> 00:24:21,892
You like spontaneity.
431
00:24:21,926 --> 00:24:24,229
Yeah, I also like not being
shot at.
432
00:24:24,929 --> 00:24:27,431
2018, Claudia, not the civil
war.
433
00:24:36,907 --> 00:24:38,309
Now this is Italy.
434
00:24:39,876 --> 00:24:41,812
We're trespassing.
435
00:24:41,845 --> 00:24:44,281
It's worth every moment
in solitary confinement.
436
00:24:49,886 --> 00:24:51,988
Where are we going?
437
00:24:52,021 --> 00:24:53,390
We, Mrs. Newman,
438
00:24:54,091 --> 00:24:56,094
are gonna have the great
honeymoon.
439
00:24:56,794 --> 00:24:58,329
I'm not living my life with the
regret
440
00:24:58,362 --> 00:24:59,797
of having just a good one.
441
00:25:00,530 --> 00:25:01,530
Are you in?
442
00:25:02,499 --> 00:25:05,069
That's sweet, but,
443
00:25:07,004 --> 00:25:08,004
But what?
444
00:25:10,874 --> 00:25:14,045
I thought that we agreed
that this isn't about this.
445
00:25:15,546 --> 00:25:16,546
It's not.
446
00:25:17,413 --> 00:25:19,517
But can't we at least enjoy
447
00:25:19,549 --> 00:25:21,219
and celebrate our lives
together?
448
00:25:23,254 --> 00:25:24,289
We're not together.
449
00:25:27,458 --> 00:25:28,458
I know.
450
00:25:30,561 --> 00:25:33,898
But I also know that most
people travel through this world
451
00:25:33,930 --> 00:25:35,065
living in that regret.
452
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,203
Like I said, I don't wanna do
that.
453
00:25:41,404 --> 00:25:43,540
Just because we're not together
454
00:25:43,574 --> 00:25:45,942
doesn't mean we can't creatively
cull
455
00:25:45,976 --> 00:25:47,311
new experiences with one
another.
456
00:25:47,344 --> 00:25:50,248
I mean, memories are
all we'll have one day.
457
00:25:53,918 --> 00:25:54,918
Hey.
458
00:25:55,819 --> 00:25:57,254
This doesn't mean any more
459
00:25:57,287 --> 00:26:00,024
than two people who've spent 30
percent
460
00:26:00,056 --> 00:26:01,858
of their lives together
461
00:26:01,892 --> 00:26:03,827
enjoying and celebrating that
fact.
462
00:26:05,429 --> 00:26:07,430
We can go back to the car,
463
00:26:07,463 --> 00:26:10,300
turn around, continue the
journey if you prefer, or,
464
00:26:12,001 --> 00:26:14,305
we put all that shit that
we carry to one side,
465
00:26:15,038 --> 00:26:17,808
and actually enjoy each other's
company,
466
00:26:17,842 --> 00:26:19,218
doing the things that
we never paid attention
467
00:26:19,242 --> 00:26:20,911
to not doing in the first place.
468
00:26:23,380 --> 00:26:26,017
So you wanna crush grapes
between your toes or not?
469
00:26:28,017 --> 00:26:29,017
Where?
470
00:26:29,953 --> 00:26:30,953
Here.
471
00:26:32,122 --> 00:26:33,024
Here?
472
00:26:33,056 --> 00:26:34,056
Yeah.
473
00:26:38,495 --> 00:26:41,498
Unfortunately science
has taken over the world.
474
00:26:41,532 --> 00:26:43,267
So the only place you can stomp
now
475
00:26:43,299 --> 00:26:46,002
without a tour guide or losing a
toe is
476
00:26:46,036 --> 00:26:49,340
somewhere private, somewhere
quiet,
477
00:26:51,307 --> 00:26:52,307
somewhere here.
478
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,315
Look, I can't guarantee we'll
make anything worth drinking
479
00:26:58,348 --> 00:26:59,983
but what I can guarantee is
480
00:27:02,052 --> 00:27:03,353
you'll remember the moment.
481
00:27:06,623 --> 00:27:07,623
Ready to Pigeage?
482
00:27:11,562 --> 00:27:13,264
Smooth talker, Ryan Newman.
483
00:27:14,398 --> 00:27:15,407
You're a real smooth talker.
484
00:27:15,431 --> 00:27:16,431
Mhmm.
485
00:28:30,574 --> 00:28:31,574
Mhmm.
486
00:28:39,415 --> 00:28:40,951
Feels good, right?
487
00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:43,254
Yeah, like all my
birthdays rolled into one.
488
00:28:44,388 --> 00:28:47,124
If that's some gentle sarcasm,
go easy.
489
00:28:47,157 --> 00:28:50,061
If not, I'll take it as
the highest compliment
490
00:28:50,094 --> 00:28:52,563
from the girl who
celebrates their birthday
491
00:28:52,595 --> 00:28:53,964
the entire month.
492
00:28:53,998 --> 00:28:55,199
Greatest month ever.
493
00:28:55,232 --> 00:28:58,335
You never saw the upside of
the celebratory birthday month.
494
00:28:58,369 --> 00:29:00,939
I don't know how you
have the energy, honestly.
495
00:29:01,838 --> 00:29:03,573
An hour into any party I'm
involved with
496
00:29:03,606 --> 00:29:05,675
and I'm looking for the fire
exit.
497
00:29:05,709 --> 00:29:10,014
Plus, in my house, it's
plethoric as Christmas.
498
00:29:10,046 --> 00:29:12,482
Mine lasted until noon.
499
00:29:12,516 --> 00:29:15,085
I feel like you made up for it
though.
500
00:29:15,119 --> 00:29:16,587
What's that mean?
501
00:29:16,620 --> 00:29:17,988
Now how do I say this?
502
00:29:19,390 --> 00:29:24,061
You ladies tend to be
celebrated a little excessively.
503
00:29:24,094 --> 00:29:29,033
Okay, tread careful,
Jean Jacque misogynist.
504
00:29:29,065 --> 00:29:30,601
Ooh, squishy, ooh.
505
00:29:30,633 --> 00:29:31,469
Is it cold?
506
00:29:31,501 --> 00:29:32,335
Yeah.
507
00:29:32,369 --> 00:29:33,369
Let me in.
508
00:29:37,807 --> 00:29:39,344
That feels nice.
509
00:29:51,587 --> 00:29:52,587
So you don't think
510
00:29:53,690 --> 00:29:55,293
we need more of a celebration?
511
00:29:56,727 --> 00:29:58,463
I think it's important.
512
00:29:59,630 --> 00:30:01,565
To celebrate all of them?
513
00:30:01,597 --> 00:30:04,768
Birthdays, anniversaries,
Valentines.
514
00:30:04,802 --> 00:30:07,138
I mean you can literally
buy me a shot of rye
515
00:30:07,171 --> 00:30:08,238
and a baseball ticket,
516
00:30:08,271 --> 00:30:10,540
throw in a steak and you're
golden.
517
00:30:10,574 --> 00:30:12,209
But a celebration weekend with
the girls,
518
00:30:12,241 --> 00:30:14,277
that takes a lot of
pre-planning.
519
00:30:15,179 --> 00:30:18,482
You got e-vites, balloons,
520
00:30:18,515 --> 00:30:20,785
paper bags overflowing with
all that matching tissue,
521
00:30:20,817 --> 00:30:22,185
I've never understood it.
522
00:30:22,219 --> 00:30:24,354
And if you're really dealing
with a pro,
523
00:30:24,388 --> 00:30:26,324
handpicked invite cards with
the,
524
00:30:27,557 --> 00:30:28,734
the raised type, what's that
called?
525
00:30:28,758 --> 00:30:29,660
What?
526
00:30:29,693 --> 00:30:32,195
You know, on the
invites, on the letters,
527
00:30:32,228 --> 00:30:33,163
it feels like Braille.
528
00:30:33,197 --> 00:30:34,098
It's embossing.
529
00:30:34,132 --> 00:30:35,641
Nothing like Braille but please
continue.
530
00:30:35,665 --> 00:30:37,167
Yeah, embossed lettering.
531
00:30:38,199 --> 00:30:39,712
And then of course, travel
arrangements.
532
00:30:39,736 --> 00:30:42,739
Hotel reservations, dinner
reservations.
533
00:30:42,773 --> 00:30:44,842
Show tickets, Pilates classes.
534
00:30:44,874 --> 00:30:46,776
All strategically planned to the
minute.
535
00:30:46,809 --> 00:30:50,613
We literally raise a glass,
done.
536
00:30:50,646 --> 00:30:52,615
Our birthdays, as adults,
537
00:30:52,649 --> 00:30:54,151
they're over by midnight.
538
00:30:54,183 --> 00:30:55,485
Now the party itself might not
be
539
00:30:55,518 --> 00:30:59,222
but the celebration of the
birthday, done.
540
00:30:59,256 --> 00:31:03,094
Well, your gender is missing
out.
541
00:31:03,126 --> 00:31:05,128
I'm sure your parents
made a big deal about it.
542
00:31:05,161 --> 00:31:06,430
What, as a kid?
543
00:31:06,462 --> 00:31:07,462
Yeah.
544
00:31:08,065 --> 00:31:11,501
Sure, but, it stopped in high
school.
545
00:31:11,535 --> 00:31:12,535
Yours?
546
00:31:13,769 --> 00:31:15,439
I remember a solid couple.
547
00:31:15,471 --> 00:31:16,706
There's a cake occasionally.
548
00:31:16,739 --> 00:31:17,750
I mean you've been
around for a few of them.
549
00:31:17,774 --> 00:31:20,844
It's a phone call.
550
00:31:22,246 --> 00:31:24,315
A card maybe.
551
00:31:24,347 --> 00:31:26,883
If you're really lucky you get
the
552
00:31:26,917 --> 00:31:30,288
"go get yourself something and
I'll send a check" routine.
553
00:31:31,921 --> 00:31:36,094
I must have been about nine or
10.
554
00:31:38,929 --> 00:31:39,929
And I woke up,
555
00:31:42,266 --> 00:31:44,767
I was so excited, it
was just the best day.
556
00:31:44,801 --> 00:31:47,605
It didn't matter if you
had to go to school,
557
00:31:47,638 --> 00:31:49,440
bring your birthday gift and
558
00:31:49,472 --> 00:31:51,875
teacher would make a big fuss
over it
559
00:31:51,909 --> 00:31:56,380
and just felt like you
could accomplish anything.
560
00:31:56,412 --> 00:31:57,914
So I get up that morning and I
run
561
00:31:57,948 --> 00:31:59,083
into my parents' room.
562
00:31:59,115 --> 00:32:03,121
Dad's already at work and
mom is laying in bed awake.
563
00:32:03,953 --> 00:32:06,123
And she says so sweetly,
564
00:32:07,790 --> 00:32:09,126
"Happy birthday, baby."
565
00:32:11,795 --> 00:32:13,397
And then she goes on to say that
566
00:32:13,430 --> 00:32:16,167
you know, things are tight that
month
567
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,568
and can they get me my
present in a couple of weeks
568
00:32:18,602 --> 00:32:22,339
when finances are more balanced.
569
00:32:22,372 --> 00:32:24,507
I was crushed.
570
00:32:24,540 --> 00:32:25,708
But I was a sweet kid
571
00:32:25,741 --> 00:32:27,443
and I wanted to understand.
572
00:32:27,477 --> 00:32:29,880
And I thought if I was just
patient
573
00:32:29,912 --> 00:32:30,980
and I could understand,
574
00:32:31,014 --> 00:32:35,152
that maybe in a couple weeks
I would end up with some
575
00:32:36,786 --> 00:32:39,422
really wonderful present.
576
00:32:39,456 --> 00:32:43,627
And so I counted down the days,
or weeks.
577
00:32:43,660 --> 00:32:45,930
And then the morning came and
578
00:32:47,463 --> 00:32:48,463
there was nothing.
579
00:32:49,932 --> 00:32:51,902
Just no mention of it at all.
580
00:32:53,670 --> 00:32:56,673
They'd completely forgotten this
promise
581
00:32:56,707 --> 00:32:59,477
that they made to a little girl.
582
00:33:00,876 --> 00:33:01,945
I was destroyed.
583
00:33:05,582 --> 00:33:06,851
And they had no idea.
584
00:33:08,919 --> 00:33:12,456
I guess my self-healing
mechanism
585
00:33:12,488 --> 00:33:14,558
was engrained at a pretty young
age.
586
00:33:17,628 --> 00:33:19,263
That's a sad story, Cee.
587
00:33:21,030 --> 00:33:24,000
You ever ask them about it?
588
00:33:24,034 --> 00:33:25,034
No.
589
00:33:25,869 --> 00:33:26,971
Took it on the chin.
590
00:33:28,805 --> 00:33:31,941
I thought that they would
maybe eventually remember.
591
00:33:31,975 --> 00:33:33,510
Or not, I don't know,
592
00:33:33,543 --> 00:33:36,247
some sort of weird self-pity.
593
00:33:36,279 --> 00:33:38,315
Oh, I know that.
594
00:33:38,347 --> 00:33:40,217
Where it almost feels good to
suffer.
595
00:33:40,984 --> 00:33:42,253
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
596
00:33:50,794 --> 00:33:53,331
I guess if you were to
look at it rationally,
597
00:33:54,597 --> 00:33:56,366
your parents were probably
heartbroken
598
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,303
when they couldn't afford to
buy their kid a toy, you know?
599
00:33:59,335 --> 00:34:00,970
Yeah, they were kids themselves.
600
00:34:01,004 --> 00:34:03,707
I mean it was that
generation where everyone
601
00:34:03,739 --> 00:34:05,308
had children in their 20s.
602
00:34:05,342 --> 00:34:07,745
They had a mortgage and two
girls.
603
00:34:07,777 --> 00:34:10,948
Now I feel sorry for them.
604
00:34:10,980 --> 00:34:14,384
That makes sense to me though.
605
00:34:14,417 --> 00:34:15,460
Now I know why you get pissy
606
00:34:15,484 --> 00:34:16,986
when you get gifts you don't
like.
607
00:34:17,020 --> 00:34:18,422
I don't, that's not,
608
00:34:18,455 --> 00:34:19,766
okay, it's not that I don't like
it.
609
00:34:19,790 --> 00:34:22,293
It's that I give them options
610
00:34:22,326 --> 00:34:23,894
when they ask me what I want.
611
00:34:23,926 --> 00:34:25,528
And then the day comes,
612
00:34:25,562 --> 00:34:27,498
and it's something
completely off the radar
613
00:34:27,531 --> 00:34:29,700
from somewhere just, you know,
convenient.
614
00:34:30,966 --> 00:34:32,568
My family likes the easy
purchase.
615
00:34:32,602 --> 00:34:34,305
God forbid that they have to
walk
616
00:34:34,337 --> 00:34:36,573
to the far end of the mall.
617
00:34:36,605 --> 00:34:37,908
On the plus side, it has made
you
618
00:34:37,940 --> 00:34:39,542
an excellent gift giver.
619
00:34:39,576 --> 00:34:40,576
Oh, I know.
620
00:34:42,779 --> 00:34:43,914
You too, though.
621
00:34:43,946 --> 00:34:45,082
Yeah?
622
00:34:45,114 --> 00:34:47,551
Yeah, you always seem to
know what's needed and when.
623
00:34:48,984 --> 00:34:50,587
And you know romance.
624
00:34:53,589 --> 00:34:54,725
Where'd that come from?
625
00:34:56,625 --> 00:34:57,625
I don't know.
626
00:34:58,527 --> 00:35:00,763
I grew into it, I guess.
627
00:35:00,797 --> 00:35:02,033
I had a lot of charm.
628
00:35:07,536 --> 00:35:08,536
Your proposal.
629
00:35:10,774 --> 00:35:12,042
Ugh, still takes my breath.
630
00:35:12,075 --> 00:35:13,710
Yeah?
631
00:35:13,743 --> 00:35:15,613
I love to hear you tell that
story.
632
00:35:16,812 --> 00:35:17,812
Tell me.
633
00:35:19,049 --> 00:35:20,049
Really?
634
00:35:21,484 --> 00:35:22,719
Yeah, tell me your version.
635
00:35:22,752 --> 00:35:25,622
I don't think I ever
heard you talk about it.
636
00:35:26,756 --> 00:35:27,957
'Cause it was mine.
637
00:35:29,459 --> 00:35:30,527
It was my version.
638
00:35:34,131 --> 00:35:36,701
I wanted to keep that one for
myself.
639
00:35:56,852 --> 00:35:59,456
You
said you had a business trip.
640
00:36:00,924 --> 00:36:02,860
You said you'd be back in two
days.
641
00:36:04,828 --> 00:36:06,663
When you called, I felt guilty.
642
00:36:07,497 --> 00:36:09,565
I was happy that you were
frustrated,
643
00:36:09,598 --> 00:36:11,468
happy that you wanted to come
home.
644
00:36:15,105 --> 00:36:16,607
You told me you were tired.
645
00:36:18,073 --> 00:36:18,974
Tired of it all,
646
00:36:19,009 --> 00:36:21,078
and the one thing that can make
you smile
647
00:36:21,111 --> 00:36:22,747
was to spend the night with me.
648
00:36:25,181 --> 00:36:26,181
I glowed.
649
00:36:27,984 --> 00:36:29,686
You asked me to meet you at the
airport
650
00:36:29,718 --> 00:36:31,621
but you only had one request.
651
00:36:36,826 --> 00:36:37,895
Wear the red dress.
652
00:36:41,163 --> 00:36:43,433
There never was a conference.
653
00:36:43,466 --> 00:36:45,535
There never was a business trip.
654
00:36:47,937 --> 00:36:50,006
At first I thought it was a
mistake.
655
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,909
A woman is walking towards me
656
00:36:51,942 --> 00:36:53,744
as I stood waiting in the
terminal.
657
00:36:54,777 --> 00:36:56,113
She looked at no one else.
658
00:36:57,547 --> 00:36:59,450
Her smile was bright and warm.
659
00:37:00,350 --> 00:37:03,554
She said nothing as she
handed me my favorite flower.
660
00:37:06,656 --> 00:37:07,656
Peonies.
661
00:37:13,997 --> 00:37:15,732
It made sense to me.
662
00:37:17,801 --> 00:37:18,701
I watched her walk away
663
00:37:18,736 --> 00:37:22,105
as I held the flower, knowing it
was mine.
664
00:37:24,241 --> 00:37:26,877
Then an older gentleman
walked the same path
665
00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:31,181
and gave me another,
a third, and a fourth.
666
00:37:32,216 --> 00:37:35,553
It took until the fifth
person for me to become aware.
667
00:37:38,721 --> 00:37:40,957
My tears poured down my face.
668
00:37:40,991 --> 00:37:44,061
Undoubtedly the single most
beautiful moment of my life.
669
00:37:47,864 --> 00:37:52,069
133 flowers were put into my
arms from complete strangers
670
00:37:52,102 --> 00:37:55,071
who offered nothing more but a
smile.
671
00:37:57,741 --> 00:37:59,543
And then it happened.
672
00:38:02,145 --> 00:38:04,147
The moment I knew I met the man
673
00:38:04,180 --> 00:38:06,049
I wanted to spend my life with.
674
00:38:14,323 --> 00:38:16,859
I hadn't seen my dad in over six
months.
675
00:38:16,893 --> 00:38:20,030
I didn't, not for one
moment think it wasn't him.
676
00:38:22,832 --> 00:38:23,832
I knew.
677
00:38:25,167 --> 00:38:28,971
And I knew that you had brought
him to me.
678
00:38:29,004 --> 00:38:33,042
Mom had the greatest smile
I had seen on her for years.
679
00:38:34,777 --> 00:38:36,013
Daddy was still.
680
00:38:37,113 --> 00:38:39,116
A tear on his face showed me his
love.
681
00:38:41,951 --> 00:38:43,553
The world stopped.
682
00:38:44,988 --> 00:38:47,190
My face ached with elation.
683
00:38:52,194 --> 00:38:53,194
Hi, Daddy.
684
00:39:04,774 --> 00:39:05,843
And there you were.
685
00:39:08,678 --> 00:39:10,013
My heart slowed.
686
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,716
The world became silent.
687
00:39:14,917 --> 00:39:17,555
That very moment was as it
should be.
688
00:39:19,055 --> 00:39:20,857
I didn't even wait for you to
ask.
689
00:39:23,759 --> 00:39:26,229
- I just said yes.
- You just said yes.
690
00:39:29,332 --> 00:39:31,000
He had contacted my family
691
00:39:31,033 --> 00:39:32,368
two days prior.
692
00:39:32,402 --> 00:39:36,140
He flew in and asked my father
for my hand in marriage.
693
00:39:38,073 --> 00:39:40,142
He had spoken with the airline
in advance
694
00:39:40,176 --> 00:39:41,844
and told them of his plan.
695
00:39:42,645 --> 00:39:45,349
He asked if the stewardess
could make an announcement
696
00:39:45,381 --> 00:39:48,084
to all of the passengers in
flight.
697
00:39:48,118 --> 00:39:50,087
Of course everyone knew it was
special.
698
00:39:52,422 --> 00:39:54,057
The stewardess told the
passengers
699
00:39:54,089 --> 00:39:56,692
that a young man was going
to propose to his girlfriend
700
00:39:56,725 --> 00:39:59,061
when they landed, and that
he had her parents with him
701
00:39:59,094 --> 00:40:00,830
after asking for her hand.
702
00:40:03,899 --> 00:40:05,378
She explained that the girl in
question
703
00:40:05,402 --> 00:40:07,771
would be waiting at the arrival
gate
704
00:40:07,803 --> 00:40:08,972
wearing a red dress.
705
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,975
Each person would be given one
stem.
706
00:40:13,009 --> 00:40:15,112
All they had to do was
walk toward the girl
707
00:40:15,145 --> 00:40:16,747
and without saying a word,
708
00:40:18,814 --> 00:40:19,882
hand her the flower.
709
00:40:21,817 --> 00:40:22,986
Everybody loves romance.
710
00:40:24,988 --> 00:40:26,256
Everybody loves love.
711
00:40:28,792 --> 00:40:29,893
One by one they came.
712
00:40:32,995 --> 00:40:34,631
And the girl in the red dress,
713
00:40:36,899 --> 00:40:38,434
she will never forget what the
man said
714
00:40:38,468 --> 00:40:40,803
as they walked away
toward their happiness.
715
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,077
"Turns out, it was all about a
girl."
716
00:41:03,792 --> 00:41:05,995
Hey I'm gonna go down to the
bar.
717
00:41:06,029 --> 00:41:07,797
You want me to order you
anything?
718
00:41:17,339 --> 00:41:19,343
I'll see you downstairs.
719
00:42:41,123 --> 00:42:42,459
Hi.
720
00:42:42,491 --> 00:42:43,491
Hi.
721
00:42:46,462 --> 00:42:48,132
Cabernet, please.
722
00:42:50,933 --> 00:42:52,002
You have kind eyes.
723
00:42:53,002 --> 00:42:54,270
I do, huh?
724
00:42:54,303 --> 00:42:55,303
You do.
725
00:42:55,971 --> 00:42:59,209
They change colors too, did you
know that?
726
00:42:59,241 --> 00:43:00,176
No.
727
00:43:00,210 --> 00:43:01,210
They do.
728
00:43:01,745 --> 00:43:04,114
During the day they're deep
brown
729
00:43:04,147 --> 00:43:07,284
then in the evening, just
as the temperature drops
730
00:43:07,317 --> 00:43:10,020
they have almost a green hue to
them.
731
00:43:11,154 --> 00:43:12,197
Green, I've never heard that.
732
00:43:12,221 --> 00:43:13,489
Mhmm, green.
733
00:43:13,522 --> 00:43:14,522
Hazel green.
734
00:43:17,060 --> 00:43:18,328
How was your shower?
735
00:43:18,361 --> 00:43:20,564
Oh, everything I ever dreamed
of.
736
00:43:22,165 --> 00:43:23,233
Not drinking?
737
00:43:24,399 --> 00:43:27,203
I think that we possibly
turned those grapes into wine,
738
00:43:27,236 --> 00:43:29,872
I wanna sit back and let
others enjoy our work.
739
00:43:34,977 --> 00:43:35,977
You okay?
740
00:43:36,946 --> 00:43:38,381
I am, yeah.
741
00:43:38,413 --> 00:43:39,413
You?
742
00:43:46,890 --> 00:43:47,890
Grazie.
743
00:43:49,392 --> 00:43:54,064
I don't know, one moment I'm
fine, then,
744
00:43:54,096 --> 00:43:55,098
Then what?
745
00:43:57,466 --> 00:44:00,002
Then the reality puts
its foot on my throat
746
00:44:00,035 --> 00:44:01,070
and I can't breathe.
747
00:44:02,906 --> 00:44:04,274
I literally can't breathe.
748
00:44:07,210 --> 00:44:08,645
Sometimes I'm strong about it,
749
00:44:08,678 --> 00:44:10,480
I'm so fucking strong and I'm
750
00:44:11,948 --> 00:44:14,551
ready to move on, I'm happy to
move on.
751
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:20,189
But then there's moments where
I'm just,
752
00:44:22,524 --> 00:44:26,128
covered in grief, and I feel
panic.
753
00:44:29,131 --> 00:44:31,634
Like I was just in a car
accident panic.
754
00:44:34,404 --> 00:44:36,306
And I don't know what to do,
Claudia.
755
00:44:38,308 --> 00:44:39,308
I know that pain.
756
00:44:40,643 --> 00:44:41,643
You do?
757
00:44:43,546 --> 00:44:44,546
It burns.
758
00:44:47,049 --> 00:44:48,594
That's a good way of
describing it, yeah.
759
00:44:48,618 --> 00:44:50,353
It does, it burns.
760
00:44:51,321 --> 00:44:55,625
Shame, regret, wishful thinking.
761
00:44:58,393 --> 00:45:00,562
All of it erodes your insides.
762
00:45:00,596 --> 00:45:02,099
I feel it too.
763
00:45:10,038 --> 00:45:12,008
Why didn't you begin the process
sooner?
764
00:45:15,410 --> 00:45:16,410
I'm not sure.
765
00:45:18,580 --> 00:45:20,416
I guess that's why we're here,
right?
766
00:45:21,417 --> 00:45:24,054
Yeah.
767
00:45:24,087 --> 00:45:25,589
Will you be eating with us
tonight?
768
00:45:27,189 --> 00:45:28,624
Hi.
769
00:45:28,658 --> 00:45:29,658
Hi.
770
00:45:30,526 --> 00:45:32,062
I'm sorry.
771
00:45:32,094 --> 00:45:35,031
No, I'm just here for the
drinks, I think.
772
00:45:35,064 --> 00:45:36,165
I see.
773
00:45:36,198 --> 00:45:37,700
If you change your mind, I'm
Annie.
774
00:45:37,734 --> 00:45:39,268
We know where to find you.
775
00:45:45,341 --> 00:45:46,341
She's beautiful.
776
00:45:49,277 --> 00:45:50,277
She is, yeah.
777
00:45:51,781 --> 00:45:53,183
You should talk to her.
778
00:45:54,384 --> 00:45:55,185
What are you doing?
779
00:45:55,218 --> 00:45:56,053
- You should.
- Claudia, come on.
780
00:45:56,085 --> 00:45:59,022
Hey, you don't owe me
anything, Ryan.
781
00:45:59,055 --> 00:46:00,357
This is... you know?
782
00:46:03,792 --> 00:46:06,997
Look, I had a wonderful day
today, truly.
783
00:46:07,029 --> 00:46:08,131
Perfectly fitting.
784
00:46:09,064 --> 00:46:10,200
But we shouldn't dwell.
785
00:46:11,634 --> 00:46:14,371
It's part of our evolution,
it's part of our healing.
786
00:46:17,406 --> 00:46:19,408
You know that feeling that you
just got?
787
00:46:21,243 --> 00:46:24,213
The excitement that you felt
788
00:46:24,247 --> 00:46:26,450
and a new beginning just
starting to blossom?
789
00:46:29,285 --> 00:46:31,063
Well those are feelings
that you should hold onto.
790
00:46:31,087 --> 00:46:33,090
Those are the ones that matter
the most.
791
00:46:35,290 --> 00:46:38,227
Just go talk to her.
792
00:46:38,261 --> 00:46:43,266
I understand.
793
00:46:44,533 --> 00:46:47,269
There's nothing to understand.
794
00:46:48,069 --> 00:46:50,372
Look, I'm wise enough to know
the meaning
795
00:46:50,406 --> 00:46:51,608
of a fleeting emotion.
796
00:46:52,808 --> 00:46:54,343
And we are old enough to be able
797
00:46:54,377 --> 00:46:55,712
to recognize its truth, so,
798
00:46:57,580 --> 00:46:59,181
can you stop, please?
799
00:47:01,817 --> 00:47:03,520
I loved you for 10 years.
800
00:47:05,321 --> 00:47:07,257
I'm sure I'll love you for many
more.
801
00:47:09,257 --> 00:47:11,761
But, for now,
802
00:47:13,096 --> 00:47:17,067
I'm gonna take my aged wise
truth
803
00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:18,134
and go to bed.
804
00:47:55,270 --> 00:47:56,270
Cee.
805
00:48:30,473 --> 00:48:31,808
Morning.
806
00:48:31,841 --> 00:48:32,841
Morning.
807
00:48:36,279 --> 00:48:37,547
You're up early.
808
00:48:37,580 --> 00:48:38,848
Yeah, I couldn't sleep.
809
00:48:39,881 --> 00:48:41,417
Wanted to catch the sunrise.
810
00:48:43,185 --> 00:48:44,620
Did you?
811
00:48:44,654 --> 00:48:46,156
In all its glory.
812
00:48:50,393 --> 00:48:51,393
How was your night?
813
00:48:55,263 --> 00:48:56,799
What do you think?
814
00:48:58,768 --> 00:49:02,506
I want to think I'm open,
evolved,
815
00:49:03,638 --> 00:49:05,642
mature and wise.
816
00:49:05,674 --> 00:49:09,845
That I have accepted everything,
moved on
817
00:49:09,879 --> 00:49:10,879
above it all.
818
00:49:12,781 --> 00:49:13,781
I'm not.
819
00:49:18,654 --> 00:49:20,590
Nothing happened.
820
00:49:20,622 --> 00:49:21,690
Ryan, it's okay.
821
00:49:23,692 --> 00:49:24,692
I know.
822
00:49:25,594 --> 00:49:26,930
Nothing happened.
823
00:49:29,799 --> 00:49:30,799
Come on.
824
00:49:34,370 --> 00:49:35,572
Is everything okay?
825
00:49:35,605 --> 00:49:37,273
I'm a little raw.
826
00:49:37,306 --> 00:49:40,210
The memories hurt on this fine
morning.
827
00:49:40,243 --> 00:49:41,777
I'll be okay.
828
00:49:41,810 --> 00:49:43,779
You don't wanna talk about it?
829
00:49:43,812 --> 00:49:44,646
I do.
830
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:45,515
But not yet.
831
00:49:45,547 --> 00:49:46,547
Why not?
832
00:49:47,616 --> 00:49:48,450
Come on, Claudia.
833
00:49:48,484 --> 00:49:49,485
No, why?
834
00:49:49,518 --> 00:49:51,955
Because, I have emotions
attached
835
00:49:51,988 --> 00:49:54,591
and if I spoke about it right
now,
836
00:49:54,623 --> 00:49:56,792
we'll end up in a fight
and I don't wanna do that.
837
00:49:56,826 --> 00:49:59,429
How do you
know it'll end up there?
838
00:49:59,462 --> 00:50:01,331
Because you'll get defensive.
839
00:50:01,364 --> 00:50:02,932
You're prophesying.
840
00:50:02,964 --> 00:50:05,567
No, no, I'm going on experience,
841
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:08,337
very factual proven experience.
842
00:50:08,370 --> 00:50:09,605
That's not fair.
843
00:50:13,875 --> 00:50:15,946
Okay, you want in, here goes.
844
00:50:17,513 --> 00:50:20,650
I still feel the need to
talk about the letters.
845
00:50:22,585 --> 00:50:25,655
I need to dig deep and try to
make peace.
846
00:50:26,888 --> 00:50:28,890
Maybe if I can learn a little
more
847
00:50:28,924 --> 00:50:29,924
I can heal from it.
848
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:33,029
Yeah well I can't guarantee
healing
849
00:50:33,062 --> 00:50:34,931
but if we open it up
850
00:50:34,964 --> 00:50:37,400
maybe I can help you understand.
851
00:50:39,567 --> 00:50:40,567
Maybe.
852
00:50:41,636 --> 00:50:43,539
Guess I just need to hear what I
did.
853
00:50:44,473 --> 00:50:46,409
You know what you did.
854
00:50:46,442 --> 00:50:47,442
You disappeared.
855
00:50:48,343 --> 00:50:49,311
As did you.
856
00:50:49,344 --> 00:50:51,814
Not when you needed me most.
857
00:50:51,846 --> 00:50:52,848
That's not true.
858
00:50:52,881 --> 00:50:53,715
Really?
859
00:50:53,748 --> 00:50:55,285
Yeah.
860
00:50:55,317 --> 00:50:57,821
I needed you most when my
fucking heart was broken.
861
00:50:58,654 --> 00:51:00,422
I needed you most when you would
come home
862
00:51:00,455 --> 00:51:01,866
and our stubbornness was on full
tilt
863
00:51:01,890 --> 00:51:03,459
and you refused to give me a
reason.
864
00:51:03,491 --> 00:51:06,995
I needed you most when you
were in the hospital bed
865
00:51:07,029 --> 00:51:09,032
and I was the only one making
decisions.
866
00:51:09,931 --> 00:51:11,700
And it's through all
of that you disappeared
867
00:51:11,734 --> 00:51:12,736
and where were you?
868
00:51:14,469 --> 00:51:16,638
You were lost reading love poems
869
00:51:16,672 --> 00:51:20,376
from some guy who didn't
know a damn thing about you,
870
00:51:20,408 --> 00:51:23,779
some jerk off who wanted to play
house.
871
00:51:24,881 --> 00:51:29,419
You'll never truly understand
how that felt for me.
872
00:51:29,451 --> 00:51:30,886
So by you saying that I
disappeared
873
00:51:30,919 --> 00:51:31,820
when you needed me most,
874
00:51:31,855 --> 00:51:34,991
and by disappeared you meant I
withdrew, W
875
00:51:35,024 --> 00:51:37,426
and you were mad at me for not
hearing you on certain things
876
00:51:37,460 --> 00:51:39,529
then yeah, you're right, I did
do that.
877
00:51:39,562 --> 00:51:41,864
But only because I was
desperately trying
878
00:51:41,897 --> 00:51:43,433
to figure out our next step.
879
00:51:45,701 --> 00:51:47,370
So then what, huh?
880
00:51:47,402 --> 00:51:48,402
You get scorned.
881
00:51:49,772 --> 00:51:51,474
And you show me you
have a killer left hook
882
00:51:51,506 --> 00:51:52,506
with a payback?
883
00:51:53,808 --> 00:51:54,810
You win, Cee.
884
00:51:56,411 --> 00:51:57,547
I'm not fully present,
885
00:51:57,580 --> 00:52:00,350
then you'll show me withdrawal,
right?
886
00:52:00,382 --> 00:52:01,683
- No.
- Really?
887
00:52:01,716 --> 00:52:05,754
No, his letters made
something in me bloom.
888
00:52:05,788 --> 00:52:08,791
It was fleeting.
889
00:52:08,823 --> 00:52:11,059
I wrote them back to him in a
space
890
00:52:11,093 --> 00:52:12,562
of my own heartbreak.
891
00:52:13,928 --> 00:52:15,997
It eased that, my heart,
the one that you broke.
892
00:52:16,031 --> 00:52:17,799
I knew that we were coming to
the end
893
00:52:17,832 --> 00:52:20,803
and his attention felt
like comfort, just comfort.
894
00:52:23,439 --> 00:52:24,841
Look, I'm a smart person.
895
00:52:24,873 --> 00:52:26,713
And I know the difference
between real feelings
896
00:52:26,741 --> 00:52:28,777
and a band aid, it's temporary.
897
00:52:28,810 --> 00:52:32,381
Exciting, maybe, but
temporary nonetheless.
898
00:52:33,948 --> 00:52:35,851
And I can't speak for him,
because...
899
00:52:37,620 --> 00:52:40,089
Look, he wrote what he wrote
and those words were his.
900
00:52:41,424 --> 00:52:42,424
But mine?
901
00:52:43,759 --> 00:52:46,396
Those letters were never about
Paul.
902
00:52:46,428 --> 00:52:47,730
It's why I never sent them.
903
00:52:48,730 --> 00:52:51,868
They were about me, you, us, it.
904
00:52:54,002 --> 00:52:56,138
They may have had his
name on them but they,
905
00:52:58,006 --> 00:52:59,142
they were all about us.
906
00:53:06,448 --> 00:53:08,483
Well it felt like a betrayal.
907
00:53:08,517 --> 00:53:10,152
An unexpected betrayal.
908
00:53:10,185 --> 00:53:11,653
I know that raw feeling.
909
00:53:12,988 --> 00:53:13,955
How was she?
910
00:53:13,989 --> 00:53:16,126
Everything you wanted, imagined?
911
00:53:19,661 --> 00:53:20,661
Okay.
912
00:53:22,730 --> 00:53:25,401
Pulling from my own previous
experiences,
913
00:53:26,902 --> 00:53:31,507
the first time with someone
new is always strange.
914
00:53:31,540 --> 00:53:33,009
You know, everything's
different.
915
00:53:33,042 --> 00:53:37,980
Her body, her smell,
her touch, her tastes.
916
00:53:38,013 --> 00:53:39,783
How she wakes, sleeps.
917
00:53:40,716 --> 00:53:41,884
Her choice of lingerie.
918
00:53:44,752 --> 00:53:46,021
That comfort you mentioned?
919
00:53:47,223 --> 00:53:49,558
It can never be there that
early, ever.
920
00:53:51,026 --> 00:53:52,103
You can't get to that moment
921
00:53:52,127 --> 00:53:55,064
where you share the silence
as you brush your teeth.
922
00:53:55,096 --> 00:53:57,065
You know, that moment where
you both stop brushing
923
00:53:57,098 --> 00:53:58,667
just to stare at one another.
924
00:53:59,902 --> 00:54:03,006
An impeccable smile when you
both realize it's worth more.
925
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:05,540
It's unobtainable to reach there
926
00:54:05,573 --> 00:54:07,576
unless you heal, fully heal.
927
00:54:09,978 --> 00:54:10,978
I'm not there yet.
928
00:54:11,881 --> 00:54:12,949
I can't be there yet,
929
00:54:12,982 --> 00:54:16,453
and the funny thing is I
don't want to be there yet.
930
00:54:18,053 --> 00:54:19,589
Is it everything I imagined?
931
00:54:21,823 --> 00:54:22,959
Nothing happened.
932
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:34,169
I never thought we wouldn't
make it.
933
00:54:34,203 --> 00:54:35,203
Does anyone?
934
00:54:36,939 --> 00:54:38,841
I was shocked, frozen.
935
00:54:43,279 --> 00:54:44,723
I never thought that I would
hear you say
936
00:54:44,747 --> 00:54:45,815
that you were done.
937
00:54:50,886 --> 00:54:52,688
I wanted to reach you
before that point but
938
00:54:52,721 --> 00:54:54,524
I guess by then it was too late.
939
00:54:54,556 --> 00:54:56,859
I was so fucking angry, Cee.
940
00:54:56,892 --> 00:54:57,892
I'm still angry.
941
00:54:58,794 --> 00:55:00,129
Because we failed.
942
00:55:00,161 --> 00:55:01,161
We.
943
00:55:02,230 --> 00:55:03,765
Shame on us, right?
944
00:55:07,268 --> 00:55:10,239
You always said that you
never wanted to divorce.
945
00:55:11,272 --> 00:55:12,274
You made me promise,
946
00:55:12,308 --> 00:55:16,246
promise our marriage
before you even proposed.
947
00:55:21,250 --> 00:55:24,786
I don't know where that came
from, my feelings on that.
948
00:55:24,819 --> 00:55:26,855
God knows it wasn't in the
family.
949
00:55:26,888 --> 00:55:28,524
We did better than most.
950
00:55:29,526 --> 00:55:31,727
Divorcing after 30
years is a bigger failure
951
00:55:31,759 --> 00:55:33,028
than lasting four.
952
00:55:35,064 --> 00:55:37,700
No, my parents were not my
inspiration.
953
00:55:39,301 --> 00:55:41,203
I always believed, I mean, truly
believed
954
00:55:41,236 --> 00:55:43,306
that when I got married, it was
for life.
955
00:55:45,140 --> 00:55:47,743
I didn't wanna commit to
something through habit,
956
00:55:47,776 --> 00:55:48,978
I mean it had to be real.
957
00:55:51,180 --> 00:55:52,915
The thought of divorce made me
walk
958
00:55:52,948 --> 00:55:54,716
a couple of times before I met
you.
959
00:55:56,352 --> 00:55:57,152
Then of course there was you,
960
00:55:57,185 --> 00:56:00,756
I mean you had it, you had a
thing.
961
00:56:02,123 --> 00:56:03,123
You had me.
962
00:56:04,993 --> 00:56:06,194
What did I know?
963
00:56:08,230 --> 00:56:09,230
We settled in.
964
00:56:10,232 --> 00:56:11,834
Eventually, yeah.
965
00:56:11,866 --> 00:56:14,769
Yeah I like to think it
took a few years but yeah.
966
00:56:14,803 --> 00:56:16,005
We did.
967
00:56:16,038 --> 00:56:17,707
That's why it hit like a
sledgehammer.
968
00:56:17,739 --> 00:56:20,308
When you backed away, I felt
this instant disconnect,
969
00:56:20,341 --> 00:56:21,944
just a destructive disconnect.
970
00:56:22,844 --> 00:56:23,844
I know.
971
00:56:25,881 --> 00:56:27,257
All I wanted was to spend time
with you
972
00:56:27,281 --> 00:56:28,182
and do things with you.
973
00:56:28,216 --> 00:56:29,985
Every time I would get my
feelings hurt
974
00:56:30,018 --> 00:56:31,353
and I start to feel rejected.
975
00:56:33,888 --> 00:56:35,825
It can't be a love story
without it.
976
00:56:50,439 --> 00:56:53,408
You never held my feelings
with any real worth.
977
00:56:53,442 --> 00:56:55,378
Anytime I would show you that I
was hurt
978
00:56:55,410 --> 00:56:56,945
you'd just push them to the
side.
979
00:56:56,978 --> 00:57:02,084
I really, really resented that.
980
00:57:02,116 --> 00:57:03,752
That was the problem.
981
00:57:03,785 --> 00:57:05,687
You never showed me
anything other than anger.
982
00:57:05,721 --> 00:57:09,025
I mean, I'd only find out about
the hurt
983
00:57:09,058 --> 00:57:10,860
once you came out of the mist.
984
00:57:10,893 --> 00:57:12,661
If you knew that I was hurt,
985
00:57:12,694 --> 00:57:14,963
why couldn't you show some
compassion?
986
00:57:14,997 --> 00:57:15,997
Pfff.
987
00:57:16,998 --> 00:57:18,834
That's a tough thing to ask,
Claudia,
988
00:57:18,866 --> 00:57:21,169
when you live under a veil of
rage.
989
00:57:22,071 --> 00:57:24,140
Look, when you fired a shot,
990
00:57:24,172 --> 00:57:25,674
my defenses, they shot back.
991
00:57:25,707 --> 00:57:27,108
Now that's my shit.
992
00:57:27,142 --> 00:57:28,710
I know that, I own that,
993
00:57:28,743 --> 00:57:30,912
I take my responsibility in
that.
994
00:57:30,946 --> 00:57:31,881
And I didn't?
995
00:57:31,913 --> 00:57:33,149
Not usually, no.
996
00:57:33,181 --> 00:57:34,291
Usually you would find a way
997
00:57:34,315 --> 00:57:35,451
of making me hear your point
998
00:57:35,484 --> 00:57:37,186
and you didn't let it go
999
00:57:37,218 --> 00:57:38,429
until you thought that I got it.
1000
00:57:38,453 --> 00:57:41,056
But the truth was, I always got
it.
1001
00:57:41,089 --> 00:57:43,325
But only after your destructive
actions.
1002
00:57:43,357 --> 00:57:44,993
You always got it?
1003
00:57:45,027 --> 00:57:46,129
Once explained, yeah.
1004
00:57:47,495 --> 00:57:48,329
Then why couldn't you get it
1005
00:57:48,364 --> 00:57:51,067
before it reached the
destructiveness?
1006
00:57:51,100 --> 00:57:52,277
Because I wasn't a mind reader.
1007
00:57:52,301 --> 00:57:54,270
Yeah but you weren't blind,
either.
1008
00:57:54,303 --> 00:57:55,237
If my feelings were hurt,
1009
00:57:55,270 --> 00:57:57,073
you knew that pushing them aside
1010
00:57:57,105 --> 00:58:00,308
or saying that they weren't
justified
1011
00:58:00,341 --> 00:58:02,143
just aggravated the situation.
1012
00:58:02,176 --> 00:58:04,913
Instead of easing them, you made
me...
1013
00:58:04,946 --> 00:58:06,781
You judged me for having them.
1014
00:58:06,814 --> 00:58:07,715
No.
1015
00:58:07,750 --> 00:58:09,259
I judged you for
exploding, big difference.
1016
00:58:09,283 --> 00:58:11,052
And that hurt you?
1017
00:58:11,085 --> 00:58:12,087
Absolutely.
1018
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:13,488
And would you then explode?
1019
00:58:13,522 --> 00:58:14,355
Sure.
1020
00:58:14,388 --> 00:58:15,056
Right.
1021
00:58:15,089 --> 00:58:16,424
So you would hurt my feelings
1022
00:58:16,457 --> 00:58:18,960
and I would react, which would
cause you
1023
00:58:18,993 --> 00:58:19,928
to have the same reaction.
1024
00:58:19,962 --> 00:58:22,098
You do the same thing,
we're both to blame.
1025
00:58:22,131 --> 00:58:24,200
My reaction only ignited when
yours did.
1026
00:58:24,232 --> 00:58:26,835
And mine only ignited
when you ignored my pain.
1027
00:58:26,868 --> 00:58:28,437
Oh, good god.
1028
00:58:28,469 --> 00:58:30,071
All you ever had to do
1029
00:58:30,105 --> 00:58:31,340
was say that you were hurt.
1030
00:58:31,372 --> 00:58:33,308
I would have comforted
you every single time.
1031
00:58:33,341 --> 00:58:36,344
But you hated ever showing
vulnerability.
1032
00:58:36,377 --> 00:58:38,780
You saw that as a weakness
and that was the problem.
1033
00:58:38,814 --> 00:58:40,348
And you know what, sometimes,
1034
00:58:40,381 --> 00:58:43,818
sometimes it's okay to keep
your feelings to yourself.
1035
00:58:43,852 --> 00:58:45,221
That saves us both.
1036
00:58:45,254 --> 00:58:47,323
That way you can ignore the
vulnerability
1037
00:58:47,355 --> 00:58:49,067
and I don't have to take
the swings you throw.
1038
00:58:49,091 --> 00:58:50,460
What does that even mean?
1039
00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:54,096
There's nothing wrong with
having feelings
1040
00:58:54,129 --> 00:58:54,997
and expressing them.
1041
00:58:55,029 --> 00:58:57,298
Yes, yes there is, there
totally is.
1042
00:58:57,332 --> 00:58:59,201
You know what, sometimes it's
okay
1043
00:58:59,234 --> 00:59:01,804
not to voice every little
fucking emotion,
1044
00:59:01,837 --> 00:59:03,148
that's the cause of today's
drama.
1045
00:59:03,172 --> 00:59:05,507
So I should just keep it all in,
1046
00:59:05,540 --> 00:59:06,776
bottle it all up?
1047
00:59:06,808 --> 00:59:07,642
I do.
1048
00:59:07,676 --> 00:59:09,178
I know, and look where that
got us.
1049
00:59:10,212 --> 00:59:12,982
I don't feel the need to
tell you every little thing,
1050
00:59:13,015 --> 00:59:14,116
I just don't.
1051
00:59:14,149 --> 00:59:16,352
You know, sometimes it's okay to
sit
1052
00:59:16,384 --> 00:59:18,462
with your own damn feelings
and not give them the power
1053
00:59:18,486 --> 00:59:19,454
by being spoken.
1054
00:59:19,488 --> 00:59:22,223
Sometimes you drive me
to the point of insanity
1055
00:59:22,256 --> 00:59:25,059
and I feel like punching you in
the face!
1056
00:59:25,093 --> 00:59:27,196
But I don't feel the
need to tell you that.
1057
00:59:27,228 --> 00:59:28,797
I don't, because it's not true.
1058
00:59:28,830 --> 00:59:31,366
Not every feeling has a
fiber of truth within it.
1059
00:59:31,399 --> 00:59:33,001
I'm sorry, but they don't.
1060
00:59:33,035 --> 00:59:35,270
Sometimes it's okay to feel
something
1061
00:59:35,303 --> 00:59:36,480
and to keep it to your fucking
self.
1062
00:59:36,504 --> 00:59:39,040
Yeah, what do you do with
your psychotic anger issues?
1063
00:59:39,073 --> 00:59:39,907
I deal with them.
1064
00:59:39,942 --> 00:59:41,252
How, by punching a hole in the
wall?
1065
00:59:41,276 --> 00:59:42,111
Hah.
1066
00:59:42,143 --> 00:59:43,279
You know what, fun fact,
1067
00:59:43,312 --> 00:59:45,355
every man in the world has
put his fist through a wall.
1068
00:59:45,379 --> 00:59:47,048
It's better than putting it
close to you.
1069
00:59:47,082 --> 00:59:48,417
So chivalry is not dead.
1070
00:59:48,450 --> 00:59:49,118
You know what I mean.
1071
00:59:49,151 --> 00:59:50,252
No, I'm not sure that I do.
1072
00:59:50,285 --> 00:59:53,422
I like to think that if I
feel something, anything,
1073
00:59:53,455 --> 00:59:55,891
I can share that with the
person that I'm married to.
1074
00:59:55,924 --> 00:59:58,326
Yeah, except when you
feel like writing letters.
1075
01:00:07,402 --> 01:00:08,402
Cheap shot?
1076
01:00:10,538 --> 01:00:11,538
No.
1077
01:00:15,544 --> 01:00:20,549
It just makes
me sad, that's all.
1078
01:00:21,515 --> 01:00:22,450
That you wrote them,
1079
01:00:22,484 --> 01:00:24,286
or that I found them?
1080
01:00:28,623 --> 01:00:31,359
A little bit of both, I guess.
1081
01:00:32,627 --> 01:00:34,564
Look, can we just stop?
1082
01:00:37,299 --> 01:00:38,434
I do not feel great
1083
01:00:38,466 --> 01:00:42,904
and I'd really like to feel
nice at some point today.
1084
01:03:53,661 --> 01:03:56,665
Hey, feel like joining
me for a drink, Annie?
1085
01:04:00,468 --> 01:04:01,468
I don't drink.
1086
01:04:03,404 --> 01:04:05,473
Well, pretend you do and join
me anyway?
1087
01:04:10,212 --> 01:04:12,514
How much longer are
you gonna be in town?
1088
01:04:12,547 --> 01:04:14,315
I'm leaving tomorrow.
1089
01:04:14,348 --> 01:04:17,085
Head north for the day
before we come back through.
1090
01:04:18,319 --> 01:04:19,354
Why you are here?
1091
01:04:21,223 --> 01:04:22,391
It's family business.
1092
01:04:26,761 --> 01:04:28,096
Of course, sorry.
1093
01:04:28,129 --> 01:04:29,531
No, no, no.
1094
01:04:32,500 --> 01:04:34,469
Is everything okay?
1095
01:04:34,502 --> 01:04:35,736
Yeah.
1096
01:04:35,770 --> 01:04:37,172
Yeah, I think so.
1097
01:04:40,174 --> 01:04:41,310
You sure I can't tempt you?
1098
01:04:41,343 --> 01:04:43,411
- Just a-
- I can't.
1099
01:04:43,444 --> 01:04:44,846
Not here.
1100
01:04:44,879 --> 01:04:46,481
No, my rules, not theirs.
1101
01:04:47,848 --> 01:04:48,848
I understand.
1102
01:04:50,718 --> 01:04:53,488
But I know a coffee
place not far from here.
1103
01:04:53,522 --> 01:04:54,764
It's actually close to my house
too.
1104
01:04:54,788 --> 01:04:59,127
I don't know if you want.
1105
01:04:59,160 --> 01:04:59,894
Or tea?
1106
01:04:59,928 --> 01:05:00,761
Or tea.
1107
01:05:00,794 --> 01:05:01,863
You do tea?
1108
01:05:01,897 --> 01:05:02,897
Both?
1109
01:05:03,665 --> 01:05:06,401
You know what, that
would be great, Annie.
1110
01:05:06,433 --> 01:05:09,437
That would be beautiful, really
great.
1111
01:05:12,707 --> 01:05:14,343
I like you remember my name.
1112
01:05:17,546 --> 01:05:18,714
I'd be crazy not to.
1113
01:05:25,687 --> 01:05:26,687
Grazie.
1114
01:05:27,522 --> 01:05:28,757
So you're the one, huh?
1115
01:05:30,225 --> 01:05:32,328
Yes, born and raised.
1116
01:05:33,627 --> 01:05:36,531
I mean most people leave
to larger cities but.
1117
01:05:37,399 --> 01:05:38,399
I missed it here.
1118
01:05:39,801 --> 01:05:40,801
This is home.
1119
01:05:42,203 --> 01:05:43,203
I'm happy here.
1120
01:05:43,971 --> 01:05:46,542
You like it at the hotel?
1121
01:05:46,575 --> 01:05:47,575
Mhmm, ci.
1122
01:05:50,477 --> 01:05:53,214
Well, I like to see new faces
every day.
1123
01:05:55,283 --> 01:05:56,418
Say hello, goodbye.
1124
01:05:58,652 --> 01:05:59,652
Well.
1125
01:06:00,689 --> 01:06:02,924
I mean it's fleeting but it's
real.
1126
01:06:07,562 --> 01:06:09,732
Actually, it's rare to
see someone like you.
1127
01:06:10,765 --> 01:06:11,933
Like me, what do you mean?
1128
01:06:13,602 --> 01:06:18,507
I meant someone who is
not on his nature hike?
1129
01:06:21,276 --> 01:06:24,547
Or one of those, what's
the name in English,
1130
01:06:25,480 --> 01:06:27,917
how do you call the
things that you walk with?
1131
01:06:30,785 --> 01:06:32,421
The motorbike, skillet?
1132
01:06:32,453 --> 01:06:33,287
No.
1133
01:06:33,321 --> 01:06:34,523
The horse.
1134
01:06:34,556 --> 01:06:35,599
How do you call it in English?
1135
01:06:35,623 --> 01:06:38,893
You know the one that you
use like the canes, or,
1136
01:06:40,962 --> 01:06:41,962
- Canes?
- Cane?
1137
01:06:43,497 --> 01:06:44,497
- What?
- A walker?
1138
01:06:45,134 --> 01:06:47,803
The walker, with the
tennis balls on the bottom?
1139
01:06:47,835 --> 01:06:48,904
That's what you mean?
1140
01:06:48,937 --> 01:06:49,571
Yeah.
1141
01:06:49,605 --> 01:06:50,639
For the older generation.
1142
01:06:50,672 --> 01:06:51,672
Yes.
1143
01:06:54,408 --> 01:06:56,911
So what, you're saying
that only bearded hikers
1144
01:06:56,944 --> 01:06:58,713
and old people visit the
village?
1145
01:07:01,482 --> 01:07:02,482
Yes.
1146
01:07:03,518 --> 01:07:05,721
That's cute, but that's not
true.
1147
01:07:05,754 --> 01:07:06,955
Why not?
1148
01:07:06,989 --> 01:07:11,360
Well, 10 years ago, I came
through here on my honeymoon.
1149
01:07:11,393 --> 01:07:13,929
We were both young and freshly
shaved,
1150
01:07:13,962 --> 01:07:15,497
not a hiking boot in sight.
1151
01:07:17,431 --> 01:07:18,600
Okay, good point.
1152
01:07:18,632 --> 01:07:20,502
So maybe it's just my experience
then.
1153
01:07:20,535 --> 01:07:21,370
Perhaps.
1154
01:07:21,402 --> 01:07:22,370
- Perhaps.
- Yeah.
1155
01:07:22,404 --> 01:07:24,739
I just have to open my
mind a little bit more.
1156
01:07:27,975 --> 01:07:30,245
So tell me, this place here.
1157
01:07:32,580 --> 01:07:34,915
Is this the highlight of the
local fare?
1158
01:07:34,948 --> 01:07:38,352
I mean the beautiful lady over
there
1159
01:07:38,386 --> 01:07:41,623
looks like she could still
take me in an arm wrestle.
1160
01:07:41,656 --> 01:07:44,593
I mean is this where it all goes
down?
1161
01:07:46,828 --> 01:07:47,863
No.
1162
01:07:47,895 --> 01:07:49,464
This is just a place.
1163
01:07:50,466 --> 01:07:53,035
And then it's up to the
individual to be creative.
1164
01:07:54,636 --> 01:07:56,538
But there's so much stuff to do
here.
1165
01:07:57,471 --> 01:07:58,471
Yeah, I'm sure.
1166
01:08:01,810 --> 01:08:04,578
You know there's a pool at the
hotel.
1167
01:08:04,611 --> 01:08:05,613
No one ever uses it.
1168
01:08:06,413 --> 01:08:08,984
Well at night, no, it's too
cold.
1169
01:08:09,017 --> 01:08:10,986
But also during the day.
1170
01:08:11,018 --> 01:08:12,018
Too old.
1171
01:08:16,523 --> 01:08:17,660
Wanna go swim with me?
1172
01:08:20,095 --> 01:08:21,763
Now?
1173
01:08:21,795 --> 01:08:23,631
Right now, yeah.
1174
01:08:23,665 --> 01:08:25,743
I mean we can't do it when
any of the staff are around.
1175
01:08:25,767 --> 01:08:27,068
Your rules, I'm just...
1176
01:08:29,737 --> 01:08:31,372
Well.
1177
01:08:31,406 --> 01:08:34,975
Thank you so much for your
cavalier attitude, but,
1178
01:08:35,009 --> 01:08:38,046
no, Ryan, I'm not going
swimming with you now.
1179
01:08:39,380 --> 01:08:40,380
Why not?
1180
01:08:41,648 --> 01:08:42,983
Well.
1181
01:08:43,017 --> 01:08:45,354
I don't have my swimming
suit, first of all.
1182
01:08:46,086 --> 01:08:47,988
Yeah, we'll improvise.
1183
01:08:48,022 --> 01:08:49,457
It's too cold.
1184
01:08:50,524 --> 01:08:51,794
You'll adjust in no time.
1185
01:08:54,528 --> 01:08:55,528
You're crazy.
1186
01:08:57,431 --> 01:08:58,901
A little bit, yeah.
1187
01:08:59,901 --> 01:09:00,901
It's too far.
1188
01:09:04,406 --> 01:09:09,411
I don't know of one closer, so.
1189
01:09:11,045 --> 01:09:12,045
I do.
1190
01:09:17,618 --> 01:09:18,618
This way.
1191
01:09:22,090 --> 01:09:23,959
I hope you know the owners.
1192
01:09:23,992 --> 01:09:25,527
What happened to cavalier?
1193
01:09:26,227 --> 01:09:28,063
I thought about the risk of
trespassing.
1194
01:09:30,898 --> 01:09:32,968
The risk of apathy far
outweighs that.
1195
01:09:34,602 --> 01:09:35,602
That's true.
1196
01:09:50,652 --> 01:09:51,687
No peeking.
1197
01:09:52,354 --> 01:09:54,790
No touching, just swimming.
1198
01:09:54,822 --> 01:09:55,822
Deal?
1199
01:09:57,192 --> 01:09:58,192
Deal.
1200
01:10:01,830 --> 01:10:03,098
And no peeing.
1201
01:10:05,632 --> 01:10:07,702
I can't guarantee that.
1202
01:11:00,854 --> 01:11:02,123
We're waiting.
1203
01:11:03,590 --> 01:11:04,593
We?
1204
01:11:06,961 --> 01:11:09,531
Me, the sky,
1205
01:11:10,797 --> 01:11:11,797
the universe.
1206
01:11:13,201 --> 01:11:14,201
We.
1207
01:11:17,639 --> 01:11:19,808
So you're gonna give
me the same courtesy?
1208
01:11:21,108 --> 01:11:22,643
Absolutely not.
1209
01:11:40,894 --> 01:11:41,897
Oh.
1210
01:11:42,996 --> 01:11:43,864
It's cold.
1211
01:11:43,898 --> 01:11:45,767
Mhmm, it's freezing.
1212
01:11:52,806 --> 01:11:54,209
Tell me about her.
1213
01:11:57,612 --> 01:11:58,612
Why?
1214
01:12:01,582 --> 01:12:02,783
Just because.
1215
01:12:07,589 --> 01:12:09,257
I don't think I can.
1216
01:12:11,059 --> 01:12:12,661
Why not?
1217
01:12:23,337 --> 01:12:24,805
I'm not ready.
1218
01:12:25,872 --> 01:12:27,841
It will get better.
1219
01:12:27,875 --> 01:12:29,144
I know.
1220
01:12:33,947 --> 01:12:35,349
It will get better.
1221
01:12:40,921 --> 01:12:41,921
Why not?
1222
01:13:32,407 --> 01:13:33,775
Hey, it's me.
1223
01:13:37,111 --> 01:13:38,345
It's good.
1224
01:13:38,379 --> 01:13:39,379
Yeah, yeah, good.
1225
01:13:44,919 --> 01:13:45,919
A little.
1226
01:13:46,987 --> 01:13:48,022
It's tough, you know?
1227
01:13:51,059 --> 01:13:52,160
Yeah, kind of.
1228
01:13:57,297 --> 01:13:59,800
And they make me feel weird
sometimes.
1229
01:14:02,403 --> 01:14:03,905
They give me strange dreams.
1230
01:14:06,073 --> 01:14:06,907
Maybe, I don't know,
1231
01:14:06,942 --> 01:14:11,880
it's given me time, I guess, to
think.
1232
01:14:14,014 --> 01:14:15,149
About everything.
1233
01:14:17,218 --> 01:14:18,286
Well, like everything.
1234
01:14:20,455 --> 01:14:22,256
My marriage, my childhood.
1235
01:14:23,724 --> 01:14:24,759
You, dad.
1236
01:14:26,094 --> 01:14:27,395
Life, my life.
1237
01:14:28,962 --> 01:14:31,065
It's just that I'm starting to
see this,
1238
01:14:31,099 --> 01:14:34,403
this common need for me
to make sense of it all.
1239
01:14:35,303 --> 01:14:36,738
And that need is becoming
1240
01:14:38,272 --> 01:14:39,774
more and more obvious.
1241
01:14:44,178 --> 01:14:45,178
Letting go.
1242
01:14:46,179 --> 01:14:49,316
The fear, anger, the pain.
1243
01:14:49,349 --> 01:14:52,453
It also means letting go
of all the good stuff too.
1244
01:14:52,487 --> 01:14:56,391
You know, just, letting it come
and pass.
1245
01:14:58,859 --> 01:15:00,461
I don't know, just feel the
emotion
1246
01:15:02,529 --> 01:15:04,232
of it all and just
1247
01:15:05,099 --> 01:15:06,099
let it be.
1248
01:15:11,205 --> 01:15:14,375
It feels easy actually.
1249
01:15:14,407 --> 01:15:16,844
As long as I'm paying
attention it feels easy.
1250
01:15:21,948 --> 01:15:24,219
It's about forgiveness, Mom.
1251
01:15:25,419 --> 01:15:27,488
We'll have to forgive, right?
1252
01:15:27,522 --> 01:15:29,825
I guess that's what I'm trying
to say.
1253
01:15:33,059 --> 01:15:34,059
I forgive you.
1254
01:15:36,797 --> 01:15:37,866
For anything.
1255
01:15:38,565 --> 01:15:40,135
For everything, I don't know.
1256
01:15:41,269 --> 01:15:44,873
Anything you've ever felt
guilty about as a mother.
1257
01:15:48,009 --> 01:15:49,277
Well, it doesn't matter.
1258
01:15:54,215 --> 01:15:57,418
I'm not trying to make
you feel bad, mom, okay?
1259
01:15:57,451 --> 01:15:59,386
Every kid is shaped in some way
1260
01:15:59,420 --> 01:16:01,890
by something that happened
in their earlier life.
1261
01:16:01,922 --> 01:16:04,459
I'm just letting you know
1262
01:16:04,492 --> 01:16:07,195
and freeing myself in
the process, that's all.
1263
01:16:09,095 --> 01:16:10,297
Yeah but, do you hear me?
1264
01:16:12,433 --> 01:16:14,102
I love you and I forgive you.
1265
01:16:22,609 --> 01:16:24,411
I'm sorry about that.
1266
01:16:26,080 --> 01:16:27,849
Maybe you can forgive me too.
1267
01:16:31,452 --> 01:16:34,456
Mom, hey, it's not about
punishment.
1268
01:16:36,389 --> 01:16:37,389
No.
1269
01:16:39,292 --> 01:16:41,295
It's all about love, actually.
1270
01:16:52,273 --> 01:16:53,273
Not yet, no.
1271
01:16:56,210 --> 01:16:57,846
Today.
1272
01:16:57,879 --> 01:16:58,879
Uh-huh.
1273
01:17:00,915 --> 01:17:04,385
Yeah, I will.
1274
01:17:04,417 --> 01:17:05,417
Yeah, yeah.
1275
01:17:06,953 --> 01:17:08,156
I love you too.
1276
01:17:09,489 --> 01:17:10,892
All right, bye.
1277
01:17:25,005 --> 01:17:25,873
Hey.
1278
01:17:25,907 --> 01:17:26,907
Hey.
1279
01:17:27,942 --> 01:17:28,942
You okay?
1280
01:17:30,176 --> 01:17:31,513
Yeah, you know.
1281
01:17:33,648 --> 01:17:35,483
Where've you been?
1282
01:17:35,515 --> 01:17:37,251
I took a long walk
1283
01:17:38,452 --> 01:17:40,388
somewhere beyond the olive
groves.
1284
01:17:41,621 --> 01:17:43,257
What happened to your face?
1285
01:17:48,461 --> 01:17:52,334
I think I'm gonna try
to come off the pills.
1286
01:17:53,233 --> 01:17:54,233
It's time.
1287
01:18:02,710 --> 01:18:03,979
Only you can tell.
1288
01:18:06,447 --> 01:18:08,483
I think I gotta take it as it
comes.
1289
01:18:10,417 --> 01:18:12,152
Face it head-on, you know?
1290
01:18:12,853 --> 01:18:16,056
It's a lot to deal with head-on.
1291
01:18:18,693 --> 01:18:20,962
Are you gonna discuss it with
your doctor?
1292
01:18:23,464 --> 01:18:25,198
He'll continue pushing
pills down my throat
1293
01:18:25,232 --> 01:18:26,533
for as long as I'm insured.
1294
01:18:29,970 --> 01:18:32,072
I just don't wanna live
in the fog anymore.
1295
01:18:34,675 --> 01:18:37,145
The other way might
not be that much clearer.
1296
01:18:38,479 --> 01:18:40,015
At least I'll know it's real.
1297
01:18:41,715 --> 01:18:43,617
Medicated, I walk a thin line.
1298
01:18:46,354 --> 01:18:49,224
I'll support you, you know that.
1299
01:18:55,429 --> 01:18:56,965
I'm just tired.
1300
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:00,669
Tired of being sad.
1301
01:19:13,113 --> 01:19:14,113
Okay.
1302
01:19:15,049 --> 01:19:16,151
So what say you, hmm?
1303
01:19:19,553 --> 01:19:20,453
Ready to take our last trip
1304
01:19:20,487 --> 01:19:22,656
down our lane of memories, hit
the road?
1305
01:19:26,059 --> 01:19:27,059
Yeah.
1306
01:19:29,229 --> 01:19:30,598
I can be ready in about five.
1307
01:19:32,265 --> 01:19:33,734
Might take me a little longer.
1308
01:19:35,368 --> 01:19:36,336
Overpacked?
1309
01:19:36,370 --> 01:19:37,370
Yeah.
1310
01:19:38,138 --> 01:19:41,509
Why I feel the need to
pack more than two jackets
1311
01:19:41,541 --> 01:19:45,012
is a mystery, a slightly
embarrassing mystery.
1312
01:19:47,180 --> 01:19:48,482
It's easy to love perfect.
1313
01:19:51,652 --> 01:19:53,755
It's the little annoyances that
take time.
1314
01:20:03,730 --> 01:20:05,198
Hey.
1315
01:20:07,367 --> 01:20:08,367
Yeah?
1316
01:20:11,604 --> 01:20:12,604
I love you.
1317
01:20:26,487 --> 01:20:27,487
You ready?
1318
01:20:36,831 --> 01:20:37,831
Yeah, I think so.
1319
01:21:29,183 --> 01:21:30,551
For our anniversary last year,
1320
01:21:30,584 --> 01:21:32,252
this trip was always on my mind.
1321
01:21:34,188 --> 01:21:37,358
To walk back in the footsteps of
two kids
1322
01:21:37,390 --> 01:21:38,390
who fell in love
1323
01:21:39,425 --> 01:21:40,736
and decided to take in the
majesty
1324
01:21:40,760 --> 01:21:42,696
of a country we both felt
connected to.
1325
01:21:46,834 --> 01:21:50,572
10 years ago, I married
the woman of my dreams.
1326
01:21:52,907 --> 01:21:55,110
And I promised to love her,
protect her.
1327
01:21:55,943 --> 01:21:57,445
To live and to die with her.
1328
01:22:00,313 --> 01:22:02,749
Now we chose to come
to this village because
1329
01:22:02,782 --> 01:22:06,153
we heard this is where your
grandma married grandpa, right?
1330
01:22:06,187 --> 01:22:09,422
And for years you were told
that there were no records,
1331
01:22:09,456 --> 01:22:12,226
no proof, no definite guarantee
1332
01:22:12,259 --> 01:22:14,529
that this is where they shared
their vows.
1333
01:22:14,562 --> 01:22:15,697
Now, as a 25 year old,
1334
01:22:16,397 --> 01:22:18,498
my sources relied on
stories from your folks
1335
01:22:18,532 --> 01:22:20,501
and I didn't think of digging
much deeper,
1336
01:22:20,533 --> 01:22:21,902
so we decided not to go.
1337
01:22:23,604 --> 01:22:24,604
10 years on,
1338
01:22:26,372 --> 01:22:27,812
I thought it would be a shame
not to.
1339
01:22:29,609 --> 01:22:30,609
So.
1340
01:22:32,313 --> 01:22:33,748
Wanna see where they said I do?
1341
01:22:35,582 --> 01:22:36,951
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1342
01:22:36,983 --> 01:22:38,451
Yes.
1343
01:23:24,364 --> 01:23:25,366
Wait here.
1344
01:23:37,711 --> 01:23:38,711
Psst.
1345
01:24:01,035 --> 01:24:03,371
You're out of your mind.
1346
01:24:05,406 --> 01:24:08,343
We both know that to be the
case.
1347
01:24:34,033 --> 01:24:35,569
It's beautiful.
1348
01:24:39,605 --> 01:24:40,605
Thank you.
1349
01:24:53,886 --> 01:24:55,889
But it's too late, baby.
1350
01:24:59,960 --> 01:25:00,960
All of it.
1351
01:25:09,502 --> 01:25:10,772
You're too late.
1352
01:25:13,005 --> 01:25:18,011
I'm so sorry.
1353
01:27:05,685 --> 01:27:07,421
This is it.
1354
01:27:09,223 --> 01:27:10,491
This is it.
1355
01:27:32,278 --> 01:27:36,049
So many memories.
1356
01:27:42,523 --> 01:27:44,926
This was one of the happiest
moments of our lives.
1357
01:27:57,770 --> 01:27:59,840
We have to talk about it, right?
1358
01:28:05,912 --> 01:28:07,514
I don't want to.
1359
01:28:08,782 --> 01:28:10,251
I know.
1360
01:28:12,251 --> 01:28:13,653
But we have to.
1361
01:28:24,931 --> 01:28:26,567
I just miss you so much, Cee.
1362
01:28:45,952 --> 01:28:47,120
You died on a Saturday.
1363
01:29:01,801 --> 01:29:05,139
They gave us enough time to
process, but,
1364
01:29:06,273 --> 01:29:08,576
I didn't believe them.
1365
01:29:08,608 --> 01:29:09,608
I couldn't.
1366
01:29:12,345 --> 01:29:13,747
Out of nothing.
1367
01:29:16,215 --> 01:29:17,617
Out of nowhere.
1368
01:29:25,759 --> 01:29:27,962
I held on to you every day.
1369
01:29:32,032 --> 01:29:35,236
And I pushed through my guilt,
my pain,
1370
01:29:39,840 --> 01:29:40,840
my hate,
1371
01:29:43,710 --> 01:29:44,845
my resentment.
1372
01:29:51,084 --> 01:29:52,019
You were my everything, kid,
1373
01:29:52,051 --> 01:29:55,922
and I don't know how
to do this without you.
1374
01:30:13,706 --> 01:30:15,776
We've come this far, huh?
1375
01:30:19,379 --> 01:30:21,881
I have to say goodbye
and it breaks my heart.
1376
01:30:45,237 --> 01:30:46,237
Hey.
1377
01:31:59,179 --> 01:32:00,080
In your will,
1378
01:32:00,113 --> 01:32:01,753
you requested to have your ashes
scattered
1379
01:32:01,782 --> 01:32:04,218
in the one place you call
paradise.
1380
01:32:04,251 --> 01:32:06,220
The trip was what I needed.
1381
01:32:06,252 --> 01:32:08,889
It gave me strength, time.
1382
01:32:11,190 --> 01:32:13,393
Know that I can never fully
heal.
1383
01:32:13,425 --> 01:32:15,028
The truth is, I don't want to.
1384
01:32:16,095 --> 01:32:17,997
I always want to feel
like something is missing
1385
01:32:18,031 --> 01:32:19,031
because it is.
1386
01:32:20,099 --> 01:32:21,201
And all I can promise
1387
01:32:21,902 --> 01:32:24,171
is that every time your face
appears,
1388
01:32:24,203 --> 01:32:25,339
I won't feel sorrow.
1389
01:32:26,305 --> 01:32:29,175
I will smile as big as I can.
1390
01:32:29,209 --> 01:32:32,779
For you were the greatest
teacher,
1391
01:32:32,813 --> 01:32:33,813
friend,
1392
01:32:34,447 --> 01:32:36,150
foe,
1393
01:32:36,183 --> 01:32:37,183
lover.
1394
01:32:39,385 --> 01:32:40,385
Wife.
1395
01:32:46,593 --> 01:32:47,593
And now,
1396
01:32:59,339 --> 01:33:00,339
I let go.
95064
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