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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:45,472 (DISCO MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:46,979 Hey, hey 3 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,539 Let's sweat! 4 00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:52,018 Macho, macho man Macho man 5 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,119 Come on! 6 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,320 l've got to be 7 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,555 That's right! Shake it, honey! 8 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,722 A macho man 9 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,958 Macho, macho man 10 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,327 Oh, yeah! Like a pony! l'm a pony! 11 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,628 l've got to be a macho 12 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,932 Don't you feel like a pony when you sweat? 13 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,467 Oh, yeah! Yeah! 14 00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:10,269 Go! Do it! 15 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,204 Come on! Here we go! 16 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:15,733 (MUSIC CONTINUES) One! Two! This is my favorite exercise! 17 00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:18,110 Come on! Five! 18 00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:19,211 Whoa! 19 00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:20,313 Macho, macho man 20 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:22,581 Macho! Macho! Oh! 21 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,683 l've got to be 22 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:24,750 l'm a pony! 23 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:25,851 A macho man 24 00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:28,821 (ELECTRONIC SNORTING) Come on, let's go! Do it! Come on! 25 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,389 l've got to be a macho 26 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:33,326 (MUSIC CONTINUES) l'm vogueing! You can vogue! 27 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,596 Can you feel it? 28 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,631 l've got to be a macho man 29 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:39,656 Oh! 30 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,901 l'm going to have an aneurysm. 31 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:42,892 Oh! 32 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:44,593 My calves are burning! 33 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,779 This is our science department. 34 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,476 The genetics wing. 35 00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:58,948 l'll remind you we are in the vanguard of research. 36 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:18,137 (CHUCKLES) 37 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,664 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 38 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:27,774 (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 39 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,752 (TIRES SCREECHING) 40 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:43,321 Get Klump in here now! 41 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,264 BOY 1 : Professor Klump. Good morning. 42 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,333 GIRL 1 : Hey, Professor! Good morning. 43 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,268 BOY 2: Morning. Morning. 44 00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,270 Morning. GIRL 2: Good morning, Professor Klump. 45 00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:52,432 How are you? 46 00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:02,411 Morning. 47 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:18,856 (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 48 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,372 (BLOWER ENGINE STARTS) 49 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,454 (SCREAMING) 50 00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,186 Oh, my goodness. 51 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,304 Professor Klump. The cages. What happened? 52 00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:00,339 That is most peculiar, Jason, 53 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,508 because l distinctly remember locking up last night. 54 00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:03,809 l locked these cages, 55 00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:06,145 picked up my portfolio and turned around... 56 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:09,047 (STUDENTS GASPING AND CHATTERING) 57 00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:13,384 Oh. 58 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,755 l must've grazed the switch. 59 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,157 Shelley's the only one that didn't get out. 60 00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:20,059 Good. l'll tend to Shelley. 61 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,495 You students take care of this. Excuse me. 62 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:23,662 Hello, Shelley. 63 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,998 How are you today, my little powder puff? 64 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,267 Yeah. Yeah. 65 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,136 (MURMURING BABY TALK) 66 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,370 Sir? 67 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,272 You may want to look at the latest test results. 68 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,140 l'm not sure if l'm reading them correctly. 69 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,712 She's lost three ounces since the last feed? 70 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,147 Must be some kind of mistake. 71 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,376 (KEYBOARD KEYS CLICKING) 72 00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,350 No, no, Jason. 73 00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:47,548 Her entire molecular structure has been realigned. 74 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:51,056 We've done it. This new formula's working. 75 00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:53,549 lt's actually reconstructed Shelley's DNA. 76 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:57,096 She lost 20% of her body fat in one feeding. 77 00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,564 What if we upped the dosage? 78 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:01,834 No, one step at a time. We don't want to jeopardize Shelley. 79 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,335 We'll keep the feedings as scheduled. 80 00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:04,370 Okay. 81 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,533 Schedule. Excuse me. l'm very late. 82 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,841 Students, we got a lot of work to do 83 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,276 and don't have much time to do it in. 84 00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:11,343 Trying to win a grant here. 85 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:14,613 So, as Arsenio used to say, "Let's get busy!" 86 00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:15,781 (SWITCHES LEVER) 87 00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,045 (STUDENTS CHATTERING) 88 00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:22,121 (RUSTLING AND SQUEAKING) 89 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:30,086 (CLEARS THROAT AND GRUNTS) 90 00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:33,995 (EXHALES SLOWLY) 91 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:36,695 Comfy? 92 00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,498 Quite. 93 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:42,875 Anything l can get for you? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb? 94 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,243 No, sir, l'm fine. 95 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,234 (SNIFFS) 96 00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:48,345 (CLEARS THROAT) 97 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:57,356 You did want to see me about something, didn't you, sir? 98 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,725 Well, Professor Klump, 99 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:00,960 allow me to answer that question 100 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,928 by posing another. 101 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,997 Why are you trying to destroy my school? 102 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,265 Beg your pardon, sir? 103 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,901 Do you know who Louise Vindovik is? 104 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,069 Oh, surely, sir. 105 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,136 She's a lovely woman 106 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,438 who so generously donates money 107 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:14,573 to help fund our science department. 108 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,609 Close. Very close. But wrong. 109 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,644 See, she was a lovely woman, 110 00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,313 and she used to fund our science department. 111 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,581 That was before she was hospitalized 112 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:23,782 for nearly swallowing a gerbil. 113 00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,484 Not gerbil, sir. A hamster. 114 00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:26,719 Gerbils are more streamlined 115 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,487 and hamsters have a tendency to be fluffier. 116 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,956 The male hamster's scrotum has a tendency 117 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,791 to be disproportionately... 118 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:34,158 Never mind. 119 00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:36,295 Those National Rifle people are right. 120 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:39,598 lf l had one now...bang. 121 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,734 Sir, l'd like to concentrate on the positives. 122 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:45,004 What Miss Vindovik witnessed was 5,000 healthy hamsters 123 00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,439 bred from a genetically deficient hereditary line. 124 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,170 lt's actually very exciting. 125 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,910 Do l look excited, Klump? 126 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,046 No, you don't look excited at all. 127 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,615 But maybe you might be holding it in, your excitement, 128 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,676 not wanting to express it. 129 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,617 Now listen to me carefully, you fat tub of goo. 130 00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:07,459 For years you've single-handedly alienated 131 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,295 every wealthy donor we've had. 132 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,730 Air-conditioning schools are outdrawing us! 133 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:14,533 We've lost so much money, red is our school color. 134 00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:17,002 lnner-city schools have better computers than we do. 135 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,233 Bosnia wants to give us money! 136 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,974 l'm going to set up a meeting with Harlan Hartley... 137 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,242 Klump! Are you listening? 138 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:24,543 Yes, sir. Yes. 139 00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:27,346 Hartley is the last rich alumnus we've got. 140 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:30,149 And he's a science fan. 141 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:34,320 And he's considering donating a $10 million grant to this school. 142 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,189 And l want that money, Klump. 143 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,191 Yourjob depends upon it. 144 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,592 l'll let you know how to handle it, 145 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:42,328 since l'll be watching you. Now go. 146 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,430 But, sir, l don't know if you should... 147 00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:46,432 See, right back there, 148 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,924 just before you said "But, sir" right there? 149 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,670 That was the end of the meeting. 150 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,839 Well, l guess l'll leave. 151 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,808 You have a pleasant day. 152 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:19,365 Grace, the cream has turned again. 153 00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,397 (GASPS) 154 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,172 PROFESSOR: Of all the equations you'll learn 155 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,074 during the course of your studies here, 156 00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:33,012 this equation shall be, l promise you, 157 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,546 the most helpful 158 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:36,081 throughout the course of your studies, 159 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:40,019 because this equation fundamentally breaks down 160 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,881 what DNA is composed of, 161 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,892 and what components of DNA... 162 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,156 (GIGGLING CONTINUES) 163 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,130 (LOUDER LAUGHTER) 164 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,298 l seem to have messed myself. 165 00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:55,067 l haven't really messed myself. 166 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,835 l mean, l messed my shirt up. 167 00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:58,504 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 168 00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:01,206 But make sure you read chapter 4 169 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,875 in your textbooks on genetics. 170 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,010 Gonna be a pop quiz on Wednesday. 171 00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:07,708 There's a pop quiz. Pop quiz. 172 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,711 WOMAN: Professor Klump? 173 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,261 (MUMBLING) Hello. 174 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,930 Oh. Hi. l'm sorry. 175 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,031 l didn't mean to interrupt. 176 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,633 l was looking for Professor Klump. 177 00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,330 (SPITTING) 178 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,105 l'm him. l'm he. 179 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,971 l'm Sherman Klump. 180 00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:10,109 (GUM BALLS SCATTERING) 181 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,677 Never mind. l do that all the time. 182 00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:14,513 Makes the...table look more festive, 183 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:15,914 and the kids enjoy it. 184 00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:18,617 The yellow and green and purple rolling around. 185 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,652 The table's more colorful and... 186 00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:23,088 Would another time be better? l could always... 187 00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,289 No, no, don't be ridiculous. 188 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:27,359 l'm between classes and l got a minute to chat. 189 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,560 (GUM BALLS SCATTERING) 190 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:29,828 How can l help you? 191 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,296 Hi. l'm Carla Purty. 192 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,364 Hello, Miss Purty. 193 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,966 l'm a grad student. 194 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,135 l'm teaching my first chemistry class across the hall. 195 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,604 Okay. 196 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,306 l just had to come over and introduce myself. 197 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,308 l've followed your work for many years, 198 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,810 and l'm a big fan. 199 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,312 Well, thank you very much. l'm fatter... 200 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,516 Flattered that you've been following my work 201 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,717 the way you have. 202 00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:53,318 A chemistry teacher. 203 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,551 Chemistry sure is important to have...chemistry... 204 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,421 to have and use it. 205 00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,322 Chemically... Chemistry. 206 00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:04,863 Well... 207 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,633 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) lt's been a pleasure meeting you. 208 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:10,364 Oh, the pleasure was all mine, Miss Purty. 209 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,337 And hope to see you around. 210 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,273 Well, you can't miss me. 211 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,741 (CHUCKLES) 212 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,706 Have a good day. 213 00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:20,105 You do the same, Miss Purty. 214 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,517 Mmm-mmm. 215 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,685 (DOOR CLOSES) 216 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,121 Now, that's fine. She's fine. 217 00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:32,020 (GUM BALLS SCATTERING) 218 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:33,926 (LAUGHING) 219 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,494 Oh, this is so fabulous. 220 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,063 Ain't nothing like getting together with family and having a good meal. 221 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:41,200 Cletus, take this bowl. lt's hot. 222 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,467 PAPA: God damn, Sherman, 223 00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:44,236 it's almost like we don't see your ass no more. 224 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,804 Good to see you, Son. 225 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:47,573 You think you too good 226 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,908 to spend time with your family every now and then? 227 00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:51,209 l've been real busy, Ernie. 228 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,444 l don't want no potatoes. 229 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,713 Mashed potatoes give me gas. 230 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,415 ln my day, Sherman, 231 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,517 people used to spend time with they family 232 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,919 on Sundays and special occasions. 233 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,121 Come around and pay their respects. 234 00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,256 You mess around 235 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,591 and miss little Ernie's golden years, 236 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,526 you're gonna be mad at yourself. 237 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:08,551 (BELCHES) 238 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,355 Baby's got a little gas. 239 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:13,158 (COUGHING) 240 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,602 Here she goes. Y'all better cover your plates. 241 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,870 Mama, have some water. 242 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,439 (MUTTERING) Grandma, you spit on me. 243 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,574 What you talking about, covering your plates? 244 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,943 Not tonight, Cletus. l'll kick your ass. 245 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,745 Sherman, l cooked all this food. 246 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,547 ls that all you gonna eat? 247 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,449 You supposed to eat that, not scalp it. 248 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,284 Daddy, all the calories in the chicken 249 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,753 are found in the skin. 250 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,121 Where all the calories is? 251 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:39,157 You know where that come from? Watching that damn TV. 252 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,492 Every time you turn it on 253 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,728 somebody talking about lose weight, get healthy. 254 00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:44,329 Everybody looking all anorexic, 255 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,597 talking about that's healthy. 256 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,865 l know what healthy is. 257 00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:49,768 And l don't know why everybody trying to lose weight 258 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:50,869 in the first place! 259 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,404 Ain't everybody supposed to be the same size. 260 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,705 We're all different. 261 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,875 Big, small, medium, midgets. You supposed to have all that. 262 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,710 Everybody wants to be the same size, 263 00:12:58,711 --> 00:12:59,811 like that Oprah Winfrey. 264 00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,446 She gonna lose her weight. 265 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,249 Wasn't nothing wrong with her. She was fine. Oprah was a fox! 266 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:07,119 She lose all that weight, her head look all big. 267 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,286 And Luther Vandross. 268 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,188 Nigger used to be the black Pavarotti. 269 00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:11,990 Lost all that weight, looking all ashy. 270 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:13,825 Oprah and Luther need to keep their ass one weight, 271 00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:15,027 'cause l'm confused. 272 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,862 Yes, l hope nothing's wrong with Oprah. 273 00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:18,297 She doesn't look well. 274 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,631 There ain't nothing wrong with Oprah. 275 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,767 l seen Oprah on Hard Copy last week. 276 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,335 Was the picture of health. 277 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:27,005 Got her a tall, young, strong gentleman named Steadman. 278 00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,140 So handsome. 279 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,207 (SINGING) Amazing grace 280 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,509 She's my favorite out of all of them. 281 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,844 Jenny Jones, Marilyn Kagan, 282 00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,646 (SINGING CONTINUES) Maury Povich. 283 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,815 Letterman, Leno. 284 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,817 Montell, Ricki Lake... 285 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:39,951 l like Geraldo. 286 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,087 Mike Douglas. Oh, Mike Douglas. 287 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,723 You know, Mike Douglas used to make me moist 288 00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:45,791 when l'd watch his show. 289 00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,192 l admit it. 290 00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:51,562 Only white man ever did that to me was Mike Douglas. 291 00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:53,465 l would like to volunteer 292 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,200 to take this old bird out of her misery. 293 00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,669 Cletus! Don't you dare say that about Mama. 294 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,837 GRANDMA: No, no, hold it. 295 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,172 You ain't gotta protect me from Cletus. Come on, Cletus. 296 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,042 Come on over here. 297 00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:07,946 lt ain't but a short walk. Come on over. 298 00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,281 You gonna limp back. 299 00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,883 You'll walk over, but you're limping back. 300 00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:13,952 But don't let the gray hair fool you. 301 00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,220 l ain't no easy win, nigger. 302 00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:18,623 Your problem is, you don't work out. 303 00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:20,258 Look. That's all muscle. 304 00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:22,194 Oh. ERNIE: You fat. l'm muscle. 305 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:25,063 Oh, look at my little b... He's a little Hercules. 306 00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:26,331 Show me your muscles again. 307 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:29,468 Oh, Hercules, Hercules, Hercules, Hercules! 308 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:30,602 Once you work out, 309 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,104 your metabolism starts to speed up, 310 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,706 you can eat anything you want. 311 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,074 He's so strong. 312 00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:37,976 Recent studies have shown that certain people 313 00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:40,145 are genetically predisposed to gaining weight. 314 00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:42,447 Someday we might even find a cure. 315 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,783 Only thing you need to study is your ass. 316 00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:47,119 l got a big ass. Your mama got a big ass. 317 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,820 Cletus! You do have a big ass. 318 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,490 Asses is big in our family. 319 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:52,824 You need to get used to that. 320 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:55,093 l don't care what diet you go on. 321 00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:57,095 You can sew up your stomach and your asshole, 322 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,530 you gonna always be fat. 323 00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,932 All l'm trying to say is scientific breakthroughs 324 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,834 are occurring all the time... 325 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,403 The only thing about to break through 326 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,339 is your ass through the seat of your pants. 327 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,908 Sherman, l think l do remember 328 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,177 hearing something on TV about colon cleansing. 329 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,045 They say everyone should have one. 330 00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:15,480 l'm thinking about getting me an appointment 331 00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,249 and getting my colon cleansed thoroughly. 332 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,651 You want your colon cleansed? l'm gonna clean mine. 333 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:20,719 (LOUD FART) 334 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,522 There. Now my colon is clean. Squeaky clean. 335 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,991 Every time we have a meal, you break gas. 336 00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,926 Don't break gas and destroy our meal. 337 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,961 You the one that brought up colon cleansing! 338 00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:32,597 l did not say anything about breaking gas! 339 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,499 You can talk about putting a tube in somebody's ass, 340 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:35,700 but l can't break wind. 341 00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:37,936 l didn't say nothing about putting a hose up nobody's ass... 342 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,404 What you think a colonic is? 343 00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:41,373 You think you run your asshole by the car wash? 344 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,941 You're choking the baby. 345 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,677 As long as l pay the bills, l do what l want at this table. 346 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:46,745 Case in point: 347 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:47,946 (LOUD FART) 348 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,147 Who that called my name? 349 00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:50,882 Yeah, l called you if your name is... 350 00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:51,873 (LOUD FART) 351 00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,520 Keep insulting me. 352 00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:58,223 l'll toss this between the crack of your ass. 353 00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:00,258 l can go all night. 354 00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:01,326 (LOUD FART) 355 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:03,361 l hope you fart till your asshole falls out. 356 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,496 (CONTINUES FARTING) 357 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,964 (LAUGHING WILDLY) 358 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,165 (LOUD FART) 359 00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:08,600 Oh, my baby too! 360 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:09,901 (LOUD FART) 361 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,469 Now see what you made me do? 362 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,538 God damn it, l messed up my pants. 363 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:15,540 Damn, Daddy. You got to clean them yourself! 364 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:16,741 You rotten. 365 00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,472 (ERNIE JR. CONTINUES LAUGHING) 366 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:22,747 Oh, Lord, this has been a fabulous, wonderful, fabulous evening. 367 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:25,150 Look. Them dogs done tore up my garbage. 368 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,118 Cletus, the dog's ripped open the garbage again! 369 00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:29,688 PAPA: Shoot the damn dog! l'm not shooting no dog! 370 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,122 l'm trying to watch Roseanne! 371 00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,824 Thanks for dinner, Mama. 372 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,794 Sherman, what's wrong with you? 373 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:36,962 Baby, you still worried 374 00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:38,964 about what your father said in there? 375 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,333 Oh, Son, listen to me. 376 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,501 You are special. 377 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,103 When the good Lord made you, 378 00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:48,874 he made you beautiful inside and out. 379 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,809 You can do anything, Sherman. 380 00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,811 All you got to do is believe in yourself 381 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,279 and you can do anything. 382 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,270 (CHUCKLING) 383 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,578 You're so handsome. 384 00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,914 Give me some sugar. 385 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,422 Love you, Mama. Love you too, baby. 386 00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:07,225 Nighty-night. Oh, my baby. 387 00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:09,728 Sherman, Sherman, Sherman. 388 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:10,719 Fabulous. 389 00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,831 Cletus, come clean this garbage up! 390 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:13,932 l'm watching TV! 391 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,300 GRANDMA: Get your lazy ass up. 392 00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:16,701 Mind your own damn business! 393 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:17,829 GRANDMA: You lazy mother... 394 00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,021 (DOORBELL RINGS) 395 00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,303 Professor? 396 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:57,435 Oh. Hi, Miss Purty... 397 00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:02,514 You caught me in the middle of a little step aerobics l was doing out here. 398 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,484 Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred. 399 00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:09,988 l looked your address up in the faculty directory. l hope you don't mind. 400 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,356 No, not at all. 401 00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:12,824 What can l do for you? 402 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,559 Oh, well, l was... 403 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,550 (SIGHS) 404 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,125 l was, 405 00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:22,298 l was wondering if one night if, 406 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,136 when you weren't busy. 407 00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:28,006 You get a little hungry, you might want to, you know... 408 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,642 lf you planned on going out to get something anyway, 409 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:34,980 on an occasion like that, you don't wanna do that alone, so... 410 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:38,212 Professor, are you asking me out on a date? 411 00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,612 Yes. Yes, l am. 412 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:46,291 l'd love to. 413 00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:48,660 Really? 414 00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:49,958 Yes. 415 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:51,930 That's fantastic! 416 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:55,166 We can go any place you wanna go. Just name it. We'll go there. 417 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:58,136 There's a place my students go to called The Scream? 418 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,971 The Scream? l mean, if that's too... 419 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,440 Oh, no, no, no. l love to scream. 420 00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:03,675 (YELLING) 421 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:04,776 (DOG HOWLING) 422 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,678 Screaming's good for you. Cleans the epiglottis. 423 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:10,048 Get all the phlegm and mucus down. That's disgusting. 424 00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,616 Just tell me what night. 425 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:12,917 How's Friday? 426 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:15,086 Friday night's perfect. The best night of the week. 427 00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,354 Friday night at 8:00. 428 00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:17,555 Friday night at 8:00. 429 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:20,091 l'll see you Friday night. We'll go to The Scream. 430 00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:22,861 lt'll be a scream at The Scream. 431 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,596 All right, Professor, l'll see you then. 432 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:27,198 Good night, Miss Purty. 433 00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:28,496 Good night. 434 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,261 Yes! 435 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,573 (MUTTERING) Yeah, Friday night at The Scream. 436 00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,442 (CONTINUES MUTTERING) Gonna scream. 437 00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:40,645 Friday night. Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday night. 438 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,580 Friday, Friday, Friday. 439 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,340 (WHISTLING) 440 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,486 (SINGING) l got myself a date 441 00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:50,688 Friday night at 8:·· 442 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:53,058 And l will not be late 443 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,427 She might be my mate 444 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,629 That would be so great 445 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,798 Great, great, great Great, great, great 446 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:02,333 And l can hardly wait 447 00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:06,171 Lilo, Peabo, Lou Rawls, Teddy Pendergrass. Teddy P. 448 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:07,572 Number six! Yeah! 449 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:10,338 (MID-TEMPO BALLAD PLAYING) 450 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,978 (SINGING ALONG) Close the door 451 00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:18,440 Let me give you what you been waiting for 452 00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:22,153 Baby, l got so much love to give 453 00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,089 Don't hurt them, Teddy P! 454 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:27,787 And l wanna give it all to you 455 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,927 l waited all day long 456 00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:40,270 Just to hold you in my arms 457 00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:45,410 And it's exactly like l thought it would be 458 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:50,582 Me loving you and you loving me 459 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,485 Oh, you know you gotta, gotta, gotta close the door... 460 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,854 (BANGING) MAN: Shut the hell up up there, God damn it! 461 00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,889 Sorry about that down there, Mr. Wilson! 462 00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,024 Teddy P turned up a little loud. 463 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,559 Quiet down up there! 464 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:06,264 There is a thin person inside each and every one of us! 465 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:11,736 So give yourselves a big hug and say, "Yes, l can! Do that for me..." 466 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:15,640 Thighmaster Plus is designed to give you better results quicker. 467 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:18,872 l lost ten pounds in two weeks. Thanks, Megashake. 468 00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:22,342 (LUSH ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING ON TV) 469 00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:41,499 (PANTING) 470 00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:57,382 (BOTH MOANING) 471 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,477 (CARLA SCREAMING) 472 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,725 LANCE: (ON TV) You're not pathetic! 473 00:22:07,726 --> 00:22:11,062 People, pounds do not lose themselves! 474 00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:15,466 You have to work, work, work! Everybody, up! Come on! Up! 475 00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:17,902 You too at home! Everybody up and say, 476 00:22:17,903 --> 00:22:20,371 LANCE AND AUDIENCE: "Yes, l can!" 477 00:22:20,372 --> 00:22:22,340 LANCE: Say it again. 478 00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:26,444 (STOMPING) PROFESSOR AND AUDIENCE: Yes, l can! Yes, l can! Yes... 479 00:22:26,445 --> 00:22:28,680 MR. WILSON: Quiet down, God damn it! Sorry! 480 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,315 Klump, shut up! l can! 481 00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:35,379 l'm so excited and l just can't hide it 482 00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:39,786 l'm about to lose control and l think l like it 483 00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:42,994 l'm so excited 484 00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:46,764 And l just can't hide it 485 00:22:46,765 --> 00:22:49,000 And l know, l know l know, l know 486 00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:50,662 l know l want you 487 00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:55,573 We shouldn't even think about tomorrow 488 00:22:55,574 --> 00:22:57,242 Still hungry? 489 00:22:57,243 --> 00:23:01,543 Sweet memories will last a long, long time 490 00:23:02,448 --> 00:23:06,384 We'll have a good time, baby, don't you worry 491 00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:08,086 (BREATHING SHARPLY) 492 00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:09,787 And if we're still playing around 493 00:23:09,788 --> 00:23:11,389 Boy, that's just fine 494 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,490 (STRANGULATED) Help. 495 00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:14,893 Let's get excited 496 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:15,960 We just can't hide it 497 00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:17,328 Still hungry? 498 00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:18,696 Oh, no 499 00:23:18,697 --> 00:23:20,632 I know, I know, I know, I know 500 00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:22,267 I know I want you 501 00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:23,599 I want you 502 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,511 Maybe you should try Jenny Craig. 503 00:23:33,512 --> 00:23:36,748 Oh, I want to love you, feel you 504 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:38,983 Wrap myself around you 505 00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:41,052 l want to squeeze you, tease you 506 00:23:41,053 --> 00:23:42,587 One hand on you! 507 00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,389 l just can't get enough 508 00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:47,492 And if you move real slow l'll let it go 509 00:23:47,493 --> 00:23:49,227 GROUP: Whoo! 510 00:23:49,228 --> 00:23:51,162 l'm so excited 511 00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:53,431 Ooh-wee And l just can't hide it 512 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:54,532 No, no, no, no, no 513 00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:55,633 (GRUNTS) Yeah! Yeah! 514 00:23:55,634 --> 00:23:57,468 l know, l know, l know, l know, l know l want you 515 00:23:57,469 --> 00:23:59,070 Yeah! 516 00:23:59,071 --> 00:24:01,039 l want you 517 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,374 Look what you do to me 518 00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:04,575 Yeah! 519 00:24:04,576 --> 00:24:05,877 You got me burning up 520 00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:08,246 Oh-oh-oh-oh now 521 00:24:08,247 --> 00:24:09,414 (CONTINUES GRUNTING) 522 00:24:09,415 --> 00:24:11,916 Baby, l'm so excited 523 00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:14,750 MONTELL JORDAN: (SINGING) This is how we do it 524 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:18,790 Come on, come on, come on. Right there. 525 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,858 This is how we do it 526 00:24:20,859 --> 00:24:25,196 lt's Friday night, and l feel all right 527 00:24:25,197 --> 00:24:27,865 The party's here on the west side 528 00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:30,902 So l reached for my 40 and l turned it up... 529 00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:32,737 Oh, excuse me. Hey! 530 00:24:32,738 --> 00:24:34,772 Professor K, how's it going? l'm good, David. 531 00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:36,841 What are you doing here? 532 00:24:36,842 --> 00:24:38,367 Got a date. 533 00:24:39,011 --> 00:24:41,346 You have a date? Good luck, Professor. 534 00:24:41,347 --> 00:24:42,981 Yeah, see you next week now. 535 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:45,216 The guys and l All the gang-bangers 536 00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:47,518 Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry about that. 537 00:24:47,519 --> 00:24:50,722 Oh. Oh. Excuse me. Excuse me. 538 00:24:50,723 --> 00:24:52,857 Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. 539 00:24:52,858 --> 00:24:54,158 (GASPING) 540 00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:55,993 Sorry about that. Excuse me. 541 00:24:55,994 --> 00:25:00,431 Sorry about that. Excuse me. Excuse me! 542 00:25:00,432 --> 00:25:02,166 Thank you. 543 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,435 Wow, these are great seats, Professor. 544 00:25:04,436 --> 00:25:07,772 Oh, yeah. Listen, don't call me Professor. 545 00:25:07,773 --> 00:25:11,542 Call me Sherman, all right? Sherman. 546 00:25:11,543 --> 00:25:14,172 Well, l'm glad we did this, Sherman. 547 00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:17,515 JORDAN: (SINGING) With a different type of swing, you know 548 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,650 Something for the honeys 549 00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:21,176 So am l. 550 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,021 So am l! 551 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:25,289 Something for the honeys 552 00:25:25,290 --> 00:25:26,924 Here's the menu. 553 00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:29,460 Ooh, summertime 554 00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:32,730 No funner time for me to kick it with you 555 00:25:32,731 --> 00:25:34,866 To find something someone... 556 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:36,567 CARLA: So you altered her genes? 557 00:25:36,568 --> 00:25:37,869 Yes, yes. 558 00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:41,639 And if l hadn't done it, Shelley would be in hamster heaven right now. 559 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,242 Sherman, you are absolutely amazing. 560 00:25:44,243 --> 00:25:46,577 We do what we can, you know? 561 00:25:46,578 --> 00:25:50,581 Got to keep on trying. Got to keep on pushing. 562 00:25:50,582 --> 00:25:53,780 Something for you and you 563 00:25:54,653 --> 00:25:58,089 And for you and for you. 564 00:25:58,090 --> 00:26:00,252 Let's go. Let's go. 565 00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:03,694 MAN: Montell Jordan! 566 00:26:03,695 --> 00:26:05,163 They were wonderful. 567 00:26:05,164 --> 00:26:08,466 All right, all right. Let's keep this show rolling. 568 00:26:08,467 --> 00:26:09,801 Ladies and gentlemen... He was good. 569 00:26:09,802 --> 00:26:12,837 ...you've seen him on Def Comedy Jam many times. 570 00:26:12,838 --> 00:26:15,773 Y'all give it up for my man, Reggie Warrington! 571 00:26:15,774 --> 00:26:17,008 Give it up! 572 00:26:17,009 --> 00:26:18,841 (CROWD APPLAUDING AND CHEERING) 573 00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:24,849 JAMES BROWN: (SINGING ON STEREO) Watch me 574 00:26:24,850 --> 00:26:29,387 Watch me. l got it, watch me 575 00:26:29,388 --> 00:26:31,522 He sure is animated. 576 00:26:31,523 --> 00:26:33,321 Yeah! 577 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:35,793 What's up? 578 00:26:35,794 --> 00:26:37,195 (CROWD CHATTERING) 579 00:26:37,196 --> 00:26:38,930 l said, "What's up"? 580 00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:40,398 Hey! 581 00:26:40,399 --> 00:26:42,366 Women be shopping, baby. 582 00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:43,701 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 583 00:26:43,702 --> 00:26:46,070 Women be shopping! 584 00:26:46,071 --> 00:26:48,563 You can't stop a woman from shopping, baby! 585 00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:51,142 That's true. Women do shop. 586 00:26:51,143 --> 00:26:52,610 lt is true. 587 00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:54,612 See what we got in here tonight. Oh, my God! 588 00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,013 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 589 00:26:56,014 --> 00:26:58,916 She's unbe-weave-able. Look at this. 590 00:26:58,917 --> 00:27:01,652 Look like a hair full of curly fries. 591 00:27:01,653 --> 00:27:03,588 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 592 00:27:04,256 --> 00:27:05,655 (LAUGHING) 593 00:27:09,428 --> 00:27:11,762 Hey, look at this white dude right here. 594 00:27:11,763 --> 00:27:15,666 What is a weave exactly? Huh? 595 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:18,759 (LAUGHING) 596 00:27:19,571 --> 00:27:23,274 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no! 597 00:27:23,275 --> 00:27:28,045 Baby, no! She got more extensions than AT·T. 598 00:27:28,046 --> 00:27:30,481 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND LAUGHING) 599 00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:34,152 Excuse me. l'm gonna go to the rest room. 600 00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:35,620 Oh, boy, l'm hot! 601 00:27:35,621 --> 00:27:37,955 Sorry about that, ma'am. Let me pick that up for you. 602 00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:39,156 (WHOOPS) 603 00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:41,492 lt's a full moon tonight! 604 00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:43,359 (HOWLING) 605 00:27:43,529 --> 00:27:46,430 l think l found where they hid Jimmy Hoffa! 606 00:27:47,799 --> 00:27:49,165 (LAUGHING) Excuse me. 607 00:27:50,435 --> 00:27:52,199 (CHUCKLING) 608 00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:55,239 Yeah, that's a good one there. 609 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,342 You got more crack than Harlem. Look at that! 610 00:27:58,343 --> 00:27:59,606 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 611 00:28:02,114 --> 00:28:06,278 Boy's so fat, every time he turns around, it's his birthday! 612 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,121 Got to put his belt on with a boomerang. 613 00:28:10,122 --> 00:28:11,255 (lMITATING BOOMERANG) 614 00:28:11,256 --> 00:28:12,246 Bang! 615 00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:20,197 Yeah. Okay, all right, now. That's it. You got me. 616 00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:23,734 No, l ain't got you, yet. Should l get him? 617 00:28:23,735 --> 00:28:25,336 AUDIENCE: Yeah! 618 00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:26,671 Should l get him? 619 00:28:26,672 --> 00:28:28,172 AUDIENCE: Yeah! 620 00:28:28,173 --> 00:28:30,541 Oh, look at this. He's with a woman, too. 621 00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:32,877 AUDIENCE: Aw! Oh, no! 622 00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:35,711 Who is sucking whose titties over here? 623 00:28:35,847 --> 00:28:38,043 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING UPROARIOUSLY) 624 00:28:45,123 --> 00:28:49,760 Last time this brother felt a breast, it was in a bucket of KFC. 625 00:28:49,761 --> 00:28:52,530 Extra crispy! 626 00:28:52,531 --> 00:28:55,523 Every time he goes to Sea World, they pay him! 627 00:28:57,803 --> 00:29:01,432 He must be on that new diet, Slim Slow. 628 00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:04,041 He go outside with a red shirt on, 629 00:29:04,042 --> 00:29:05,576 and all the kids in the neighborhood say, 630 00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:08,112 "Hey! Kool-Aid!" 631 00:29:08,113 --> 00:29:12,277 Yeah, man, l bet l cut his fat ass open, it'd bleed chocolate milk. 632 00:29:13,485 --> 00:29:16,147 What would you do for a Klondike bar? 633 00:29:18,924 --> 00:29:23,122 Now we know what's eating Gilbert Grape, don't we? 634 00:29:29,301 --> 00:29:32,430 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 635 00:29:37,175 --> 00:29:40,144 Thank you for dinner tonight, Sherman. That was very sweet. 636 00:29:40,145 --> 00:29:41,704 You're welcome. 637 00:29:47,719 --> 00:29:50,211 Look, that comic tonight, he was... 638 00:29:52,758 --> 00:29:55,158 Sherman, you are a brilliant man. 639 00:30:03,235 --> 00:30:05,397 You have a pleasant evening. 640 00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:08,671 Good night. 641 00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:14,942 (KEYS JINGLING) 642 00:30:25,357 --> 00:30:26,517 (DOOR CLOSES) 643 00:30:39,905 --> 00:30:44,075 His fraternity was having this thing called Pig Day. 644 00:30:44,076 --> 00:30:46,210 That's the only reason he asked me out. 645 00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:50,348 To make fun of you? Why do we do this to ourselves? 646 00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:53,417 Every time we get depressed, we eat and eat and eat. 647 00:30:53,418 --> 00:30:55,920 You go to the store and buy those little candy bars in the bag, 648 00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:58,422 and before you know it, the whole bag is empty. 649 00:30:58,423 --> 00:31:02,760 Then at the end, you feel just like that bag. Empty inside. 650 00:31:02,761 --> 00:31:05,062 (SOBBING) Don't you? 651 00:31:05,063 --> 00:31:09,033 (WOMAN SOBBING) lt's okay. lt's all right. Just get it all out. 652 00:31:09,034 --> 00:31:10,334 (SOBBING CONTINUES) 653 00:31:10,335 --> 00:31:13,070 Say, "Yes, l can." Say that. 654 00:31:13,071 --> 00:31:14,605 Yes, l can. 655 00:31:14,606 --> 00:31:15,835 (SOBBING CONTINUES) 656 00:31:16,675 --> 00:31:18,575 (SOBBING) Yes, we can. 657 00:31:19,678 --> 00:31:21,312 (SOBBING) 658 00:31:21,313 --> 00:31:22,610 Can we go to commercial? 659 00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:26,383 l want him prepped and ready immediately. Yes, Doctor. 660 00:31:26,384 --> 00:31:29,920 Call Dr. Matthews. l'm going to need a lot of help on this one. 661 00:31:29,921 --> 00:31:32,389 Let's move it. You know the routine. 662 00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:34,692 Get that crash cart here stat! 663 00:31:34,693 --> 00:31:36,727 Blood pressure, 14· over 9· and rising. 664 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:38,028 MAN: We need that lV rig in now! 665 00:31:38,029 --> 00:31:39,363 IV rig coming in. 666 00:31:39,364 --> 00:31:42,600 Give me four cc's of Ambethol. l don't know how much more he can take. 667 00:31:42,601 --> 00:31:44,602 We need the EKG cart in here now. 668 00:31:44,603 --> 00:31:48,139 Blood pressure, 1·0 over 1 10 and still climbing. 669 00:31:48,140 --> 00:31:49,607 What's the status? 670 00:31:49,608 --> 00:31:51,175 He's getting fatter. We can't stop it. 671 00:31:51,176 --> 00:31:52,476 Damn! 672 00:31:52,477 --> 00:31:53,978 Blood pressure, 200 over 140! 673 00:31:53,979 --> 00:31:56,247 (ALARM BEEPING) Oh, my God! 674 00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:57,615 He's gonna explode! 675 00:31:57,616 --> 00:31:58,883 l'm getting out of here! 676 00:31:58,884 --> 00:32:01,419 (WOMAN SCREAMS) Nurse! 677 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,547 Wait! Wait! 678 00:32:04,055 --> 00:32:05,856 (RUMBLING) 679 00:32:05,857 --> 00:32:08,258 (THUNDERCLAP) 680 00:32:14,566 --> 00:32:16,534 (CROWD SCREAMING) 681 00:32:17,369 --> 00:32:19,098 What's going on? 682 00:32:19,471 --> 00:32:21,633 (CROWD SCREAMING) 683 00:32:23,575 --> 00:32:26,510 Oh, my God! Get out of here! Get out of here! 684 00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:31,348 Hey, everyone, run for the hills! lt's Fat-zilla! 685 00:32:31,349 --> 00:32:33,317 He look like King Kong with titties. 686 00:32:33,318 --> 00:32:37,254 Sherman! l brought you some nice fried chicken, Sherman. 687 00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:39,290 Oh, you look fabulous! 688 00:32:39,291 --> 00:32:41,282 (LAUGHING) 689 00:32:42,894 --> 00:32:43,918 (GASPS) 690 00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:45,987 (GLASS BREAKING) 691 00:32:47,265 --> 00:32:48,665 (SCREAMS) 692 00:32:57,609 --> 00:32:59,976 (PROFESSOR BURPING) 693 00:33:02,113 --> 00:33:04,082 (BURPING CONTINUES) 694 00:33:06,518 --> 00:33:08,077 (MOANING) 695 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:10,187 MAN: Oh, my God! 696 00:33:10,188 --> 00:33:12,157 He's gonna blow! 697 00:33:13,458 --> 00:33:15,051 (FARTING) 698 00:33:18,463 --> 00:33:19,828 (SCREAMING) 699 00:33:20,599 --> 00:33:23,796 Way to go, Son! That's my boy! 700 00:33:25,804 --> 00:33:27,499 No! 701 00:33:31,776 --> 00:33:33,711 (GASPING AND PANTING) 702 00:33:34,246 --> 00:33:35,679 Huh? 703 00:33:56,968 --> 00:33:59,733 (BEEPING) 704 00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:03,337 (KEYBOARD KEYS CLICKING) 705 00:34:12,817 --> 00:34:14,945 (BEEPING) 706 00:34:15,854 --> 00:34:17,981 (BEEPING QUICKENS) 707 00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:26,530 Shelley, you've been the guinea pig long enough. 708 00:34:26,531 --> 00:34:29,467 lt's time to see if this stuff really works. 709 00:34:49,321 --> 00:34:51,016 (THUNDERCLAP) 710 00:34:52,791 --> 00:34:54,349 (BEEPING) 711 00:34:55,894 --> 00:34:58,090 (BEEPING CONTINUES) 712 00:35:00,131 --> 00:35:01,656 (GROANS) 713 00:35:04,135 --> 00:35:05,569 (GROANING) 714 00:35:05,804 --> 00:35:07,101 (BEEPING CONTINUES) 715 00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:12,838 (BEEPING CONTINUES) 716 00:35:24,689 --> 00:35:25,816 (BEEPING) 717 00:35:27,492 --> 00:35:28,926 (BEEPING CONTINUES) 718 00:35:29,427 --> 00:35:31,487 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 719 00:36:11,069 --> 00:36:15,739 Oh! Oh! l'm thin! l'm thin! Look at my cheekbones! 720 00:36:15,740 --> 00:36:18,609 l have cheekbones! Yes! Look at my chest. 721 00:36:18,610 --> 00:36:21,011 Look at my breasts. l don't have breasts. 722 00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:23,313 l'm an A cup. l don't need a bra anymore. 723 00:36:23,314 --> 00:36:26,116 Oh, God, l'm thin! l'm thin! 724 00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:28,218 l'm thin! l'm thin, l'm thin. 725 00:36:28,219 --> 00:36:31,055 (SINGING) Nothing but air there Nothing but air there 726 00:36:31,056 --> 00:36:34,958 My ass is gone Now l'm slim, slim, slim 727 00:36:34,959 --> 00:36:38,327 Well, l'll be damned! l can see my dick! 728 00:36:38,763 --> 00:36:41,698 My dick! My dick, my dick, my dick! 729 00:36:41,699 --> 00:36:44,034 JAMES BROWN: (SINGING) Whoa, l feel good 730 00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:45,903 l can do stairs. l can do stairs. 731 00:36:45,904 --> 00:36:47,237 l knew that l would now 732 00:36:47,238 --> 00:36:48,939 l am the stair master! 733 00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:52,142 l feel good 734 00:36:52,143 --> 00:36:53,477 l knew that l would now 735 00:36:53,478 --> 00:36:55,312 You looking for any kind of clothes in particular? 736 00:36:55,313 --> 00:36:59,443 Spandex! All Spandex! Where's the Spandex section? 737 00:37:00,018 --> 00:37:02,553 Oh! Spandex! Like this! 738 00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:05,289 l feel nice 739 00:37:05,290 --> 00:37:06,623 Like sugar and spice 740 00:37:06,624 --> 00:37:09,026 No titties. No titties. 741 00:37:09,027 --> 00:37:10,194 l feel nice 742 00:37:10,195 --> 00:37:11,729 No titties. 743 00:37:11,730 --> 00:37:14,098 Not you, me. l'm talking about me. My titties are gone. 744 00:37:14,099 --> 00:37:17,601 Your titties are lovely. What's your name? 745 00:37:17,602 --> 00:37:20,804 l can't believe l'm so thin. l am thin. You ever feel thin? 746 00:37:20,805 --> 00:37:24,799 l am thin! l am thin. Hey, man, where's the apple pie? 747 00:37:28,713 --> 00:37:32,716 When l hold you in my arms 748 00:37:32,717 --> 00:37:36,086 l know that l can do no wrong 749 00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:39,123 And when l hold you in my arms 750 00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:41,458 My love won't do you no harm 751 00:37:41,459 --> 00:37:43,393 Tootsie Roll! Get your tootsie! 752 00:37:43,394 --> 00:37:44,828 And l feel nice 753 00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:46,096 (GRUNTING) 754 00:37:46,097 --> 00:37:48,966 Like sugar and spice 755 00:37:48,967 --> 00:37:50,567 So nice, so nice 756 00:37:50,568 --> 00:37:51,902 (GRUNTING CONTINUES) 757 00:37:51,903 --> 00:37:53,371 l got you 758 00:37:57,342 --> 00:38:00,505 (SHOUTING) l'm thin! l'm thin! 759 00:38:05,316 --> 00:38:06,511 Excuse me. 760 00:38:07,152 --> 00:38:08,346 Hey! 761 00:38:08,753 --> 00:38:10,521 ls Professor Klump here? 762 00:38:10,522 --> 00:38:12,022 Professor Klump? 763 00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:13,924 Sherman, Sherman Klump. 764 00:38:13,925 --> 00:38:16,160 No, he had to take care of some things, Miss Purty. 765 00:38:16,161 --> 00:38:18,529 So l'm running this thing here. 766 00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:19,554 Do l know you? 767 00:38:20,365 --> 00:38:21,899 Do you know me? 768 00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:23,163 (LAUGHS) 769 00:38:24,102 --> 00:38:25,636 Sherman didn't tell you about me? 770 00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:26,737 No. 771 00:38:26,738 --> 00:38:27,905 Oh, man! 772 00:38:27,906 --> 00:38:30,507 lsn't that like Sherman to hog all the credit? 773 00:38:30,508 --> 00:38:32,576 l'm Sherman's confidante. 774 00:38:32,577 --> 00:38:34,144 Have you seen him today? 775 00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:35,846 l was wondering if he was all right after everything 776 00:38:35,847 --> 00:38:37,975 that happened at the club the other night. 777 00:38:38,249 --> 00:38:41,885 Oh, Miss Purty, it tore his chunky ass up. 778 00:38:41,886 --> 00:38:45,889 lt's strange that a man as intelligent as Sherman has no confidence whatsoever. 779 00:38:45,890 --> 00:38:47,257 Makes me sick sometimes to think... 780 00:38:47,258 --> 00:38:48,625 l'm always telling the man, 781 00:38:48,626 --> 00:38:52,029 "Sherman, no matter what, you've got to strut. 782 00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:54,264 "You got to suck in your gut and strut." 783 00:38:54,265 --> 00:38:55,866 Me, personally, l don't have that problem. 784 00:38:55,867 --> 00:38:57,868 Doesn't seem like you do. 785 00:38:57,869 --> 00:39:01,338 You're just too feisty and too fine. Me and you need to hook up. 786 00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:04,141 We need to go to The Scream tonight, have a couple of drinks 787 00:39:04,142 --> 00:39:06,977 and strut our respective stuff together. 788 00:39:06,978 --> 00:39:08,712 l don't even know your name. 789 00:39:08,713 --> 00:39:11,114 Hey, buddy, what the hell happened here? 790 00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:15,185 See? Everybody knows Buddy. 791 00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:17,754 The professor must have got a little carried away last night. 792 00:39:17,755 --> 00:39:19,656 Oh, Officer Dagg, l'm glad you came up. 793 00:39:19,657 --> 00:39:22,759 He told me to tell you personally, please thank your wife Claire 794 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:26,526 for bringing that upside-down cake for him. He ate every crumb of it. 795 00:39:26,831 --> 00:39:29,766 And can you have someone from janitorial clean up this mess, please? 796 00:39:29,767 --> 00:39:31,895 Thank you, Officer Dagg. Thank you. 797 00:39:33,171 --> 00:39:35,005 (DOOR OPENS) Buddy. 798 00:39:35,006 --> 00:39:37,703 Buddy? ls that it, or do you have a last name? 799 00:39:38,443 --> 00:39:39,637 (DOOR CLOSES) 800 00:39:41,579 --> 00:39:42,671 Love. 801 00:39:44,249 --> 00:39:46,183 Love? 802 00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:48,318 You see, Miss Purty, 803 00:39:48,319 --> 00:39:50,354 (lN PROFESSOR'S VOICE) there comes a time in a man's life 804 00:39:50,355 --> 00:39:51,583 when he has to... 805 00:39:52,457 --> 00:39:54,584 (CLEARS THROAT AND COUGHS) 806 00:39:54,926 --> 00:39:56,793 Miss Purty, people have a tendency in life 807 00:39:56,794 --> 00:39:59,662 (lN PROFESSOR'S VOICE) to always want to rush into things. 808 00:40:00,798 --> 00:40:02,599 (lN REGULAR VOICE) What l'm trying to say 809 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,968 is there's a right time and place for everything. 810 00:40:07,071 --> 00:40:09,206 Like l said, there's a right time and place for everything. 811 00:40:09,207 --> 00:40:11,341 (lN PROFESSOR'S VOICE) Tonight would be a good time. 812 00:40:11,342 --> 00:40:13,143 At The Scream would be perfect to discuss it. 813 00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:15,977 l'll see you tonight. Don't be late! Excuse me! 814 00:40:25,623 --> 00:40:27,648 Uh-oh. 815 00:40:28,126 --> 00:40:30,458 (CHATTERING) 816 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,875 Good morning. Good morning, class. 817 00:40:44,876 --> 00:40:46,977 Morning, students. Good morning! 818 00:40:46,978 --> 00:40:48,969 Morning. Good morning. 819 00:40:51,849 --> 00:40:54,651 You students just review what we went over yesterday. 820 00:40:54,652 --> 00:40:57,220 Professor, we weren't here yesterday. 821 00:40:57,221 --> 00:41:02,626 Well, then, review the day before, and tomorrow we'll do today. 822 00:41:04,095 --> 00:41:05,358 That's it. 823 00:41:05,863 --> 00:41:07,229 (CLASS LAUGHING) 824 00:41:08,366 --> 00:41:11,700 (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) 825 00:41:17,175 --> 00:41:18,542 Sherman! 826 00:41:18,543 --> 00:41:20,143 Oh, Carla. How are you? 827 00:41:20,144 --> 00:41:22,946 l've been looking for you all morning. Are you okay? 828 00:41:22,947 --> 00:41:25,082 l'm fine. Why you looking for me? 829 00:41:25,083 --> 00:41:27,617 l feel bad what happened at the club the other night. 830 00:41:27,618 --> 00:41:29,353 lt was my idea to go to The Scream. 831 00:41:29,354 --> 00:41:31,722 l've forgotten about that. You forget, too. 832 00:41:31,723 --> 00:41:33,623 That's over. Go have a nice day. 833 00:41:33,624 --> 00:41:36,760 There's something else. l met a friend of yours in your lab. 834 00:41:36,761 --> 00:41:37,995 Buddy Love. 835 00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:39,596 Buddy Love. 836 00:41:39,597 --> 00:41:42,099 He's quite a character, huh? 837 00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:45,168 He asked me out, and he said it was your idea. 838 00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:48,372 Oh, did he? Well, l know you're new in town. 839 00:41:48,373 --> 00:41:49,673 l thought it would be nice 840 00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:51,608 for a new girl to get out, meet some people. 841 00:41:51,609 --> 00:41:52,976 Did you find him attractive? 842 00:41:52,977 --> 00:41:54,411 Honestly, yes. 843 00:41:54,412 --> 00:41:56,146 He's very handsome and athletic. 844 00:41:56,147 --> 00:41:58,682 But l don't feel comfortable talking to you about that. 845 00:41:58,683 --> 00:42:02,552 You can talk to me about anything. l want you to. 846 00:42:02,553 --> 00:42:05,288 And l think you should definitely go out with Buddy Love. 847 00:42:05,289 --> 00:42:06,690 You do? Absolutely. 848 00:42:06,691 --> 00:42:08,825 l don't think there's anything wrong with two young people 849 00:42:08,826 --> 00:42:10,894 getting together and having a good time. 850 00:42:10,895 --> 00:42:13,096 So by all means, do just that. 851 00:42:13,097 --> 00:42:14,731 You sure you're all right with that? 852 00:42:14,732 --> 00:42:17,234 Don't worry about me. l'm just fine. 853 00:42:17,235 --> 00:42:20,500 ln fact, l'll put in a good word with you for Buddy. 854 00:42:20,772 --> 00:42:24,367 Oh, my goodness. l'm so late. Excuse me. l'll talk to Buddy. 855 00:42:25,276 --> 00:42:29,413 You make it hard, long soft, short 856 00:42:29,414 --> 00:42:32,281 And be strokin' 857 00:42:33,251 --> 00:42:35,185 l be strokin' 858 00:42:37,789 --> 00:42:41,658 l stroke it to the east and l stroke it to... 859 00:42:41,659 --> 00:42:43,855 (MUSIC CONTINUES lNDISTINCTLY) 860 00:42:45,797 --> 00:42:48,789 Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 861 00:42:55,339 --> 00:42:57,607 Now you be careful. lf there's a scratch in the car, 862 00:42:57,608 --> 00:42:59,276 there's a scratch in your ass. 863 00:42:59,277 --> 00:43:03,079 You are too fine to be giving me curbside service. 864 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:04,848 l'm not. l'm leaving. 865 00:43:04,849 --> 00:43:06,016 We just got here. 866 00:43:06,017 --> 00:43:09,019 No, you just got here. l've been waiting for you for almost an hour. 867 00:43:09,020 --> 00:43:12,856 They say anticipation helps make the appetite grow stronger. 868 00:43:12,857 --> 00:43:14,658 Anticipate a night alone. 869 00:43:14,659 --> 00:43:16,460 Hey, hey. Let's just have a meal together. 870 00:43:16,461 --> 00:43:17,994 Why you leaving? You want me to beg? 871 00:43:17,995 --> 00:43:19,162 l'll get down on my knees. 872 00:43:19,163 --> 00:43:20,530 l'll beg you in front of all these people. 873 00:43:20,531 --> 00:43:21,932 Think l care if these people are watching? 874 00:43:21,933 --> 00:43:26,570 l'm sorry! l'm sorry! l want the world to know that l was late! 875 00:43:26,571 --> 00:43:29,739 And l'm sorry! My car ran out of gas. 876 00:43:29,740 --> 00:43:33,944 l needed fresh drawers. My mother's sick. The car broke down. 877 00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:35,412 Buddy, get up. 878 00:43:35,413 --> 00:43:36,813 Hear me out. l am sorry! 879 00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:38,448 l don't know why this is happening tonight. 880 00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:41,715 Of all nights this has got to happen to me tonight. 881 00:43:42,153 --> 00:43:45,288 Okay. Why? Why? 882 00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:49,192 Okay! Why? 883 00:43:51,362 --> 00:43:52,529 Okay, okay, okay. 884 00:43:52,530 --> 00:43:53,630 Okay. Good. Let's eat. 885 00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:55,565 l am so hungry. Hey, don't let the tears fool you. 886 00:43:55,566 --> 00:43:56,556 l'm a tooth chipper. 887 00:43:59,437 --> 00:44:03,340 Six T-bones, five baked potatoes and two servings of creamed spinach. 888 00:44:03,341 --> 00:44:05,709 l have never seen anyone eat so much. 889 00:44:05,710 --> 00:44:07,644 You are so lucky to stay so thin. 890 00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:09,246 Luck has nothing to do with it. 891 00:44:09,247 --> 00:44:11,581 lt's a matter of recombinant ribonucleic acids 892 00:44:11,582 --> 00:44:14,317 unzipped by a radioactive guanine peptide. 893 00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:16,052 What does that mean? 894 00:44:16,053 --> 00:44:18,021 l don't know. l'm trying to sound extra intelligent. 895 00:44:18,022 --> 00:44:19,856 Got you! You gonna eat that? 896 00:44:19,857 --> 00:44:22,125 Guess who's back in the house. 897 00:44:22,126 --> 00:44:26,463 From Def Comedy Jam, my man, Reggie Warrington. 898 00:44:26,464 --> 00:44:27,931 Give it up! 899 00:44:27,932 --> 00:44:29,457 (CHEERING) 900 00:44:31,469 --> 00:44:34,170 l hate this guy. l hate this guy. He is so obnoxious. 901 00:44:34,171 --> 00:44:35,472 Give the nigger a chance. 902 00:44:35,473 --> 00:44:37,498 JAMES BROWN: (SINGING) Watch me 903 00:44:39,477 --> 00:44:43,346 lt's your world, dog! l'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut. 904 00:44:43,347 --> 00:44:46,583 l've got something that makes me wanna shout 905 00:44:46,584 --> 00:44:47,884 What's up? 906 00:44:47,885 --> 00:44:49,486 What's up, nigger? 907 00:44:49,487 --> 00:44:51,454 l said, "What's up"? 908 00:44:51,455 --> 00:44:53,890 Didn't you hear me when l say, "Hey"? 909 00:44:54,959 --> 00:44:59,396 Boy, women be shopping. Women be shopping. 910 00:44:59,397 --> 00:45:01,695 You cannot stop a woman from shopping. 911 00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:03,767 (LAUGHING) 912 00:45:04,168 --> 00:45:05,936 Let's see what l got in the house tonight. 913 00:45:05,937 --> 00:45:09,395 Oh, now, look at this white guy right here. 914 00:45:09,607 --> 00:45:12,941 You cannot tell me he ain't got a small jimmie. 915 00:45:13,911 --> 00:45:16,646 Man, it's so small he needs tweezers to take a piss. 916 00:45:16,647 --> 00:45:19,048 He needs tweezers to take a piss! 917 00:45:20,518 --> 00:45:22,315 Tweezers on his dick! 918 00:45:24,622 --> 00:45:26,556 Reggie's hot tonight. 919 00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:29,424 Look at this. Look at this. 920 00:45:30,761 --> 00:45:33,597 Oh! Oh! Oh! l can't breathe! 921 00:45:33,598 --> 00:45:34,965 Excuse me, brother. 922 00:45:34,966 --> 00:45:36,666 (GASPING) l can't breathe! 923 00:45:36,667 --> 00:45:38,134 Okay. 924 00:45:38,135 --> 00:45:39,103 Brother, man! 925 00:45:39,670 --> 00:45:40,967 (WHEEZING) 926 00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:45,074 You almost killed me, man! 927 00:45:46,110 --> 00:45:48,678 l had to give myself the Heimlich. 928 00:45:48,679 --> 00:45:51,114 You mind waiting for the punch line first, brother? 929 00:45:51,115 --> 00:45:53,316 l'm sorry. You're so funny. 930 00:45:53,317 --> 00:45:55,919 You're so funny the way you take a person's personal defects 931 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,020 and flip it around. 932 00:45:57,021 --> 00:45:59,522 Like you pick somebody in the room and say, "Look at your foot," 933 00:45:59,523 --> 00:46:01,091 and everybody look at it and start laughing. 934 00:46:01,092 --> 00:46:03,560 That's funny shit. You're on your way! 935 00:46:03,561 --> 00:46:07,793 You going to the top! You're the next Lenny Bruce! 936 00:46:08,265 --> 00:46:09,833 Why, thank you. Thank you very much. 937 00:46:09,834 --> 00:46:11,101 That's genius. 938 00:46:11,102 --> 00:46:12,936 That'd even work with me doing it to you. 939 00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:15,472 lf l say, look at Reggie's gums and teeth. 940 00:46:15,473 --> 00:46:17,498 His mother had an affair with Mister Ed. 941 00:46:19,877 --> 00:46:21,745 See? Everybody's laughing. 942 00:46:21,746 --> 00:46:24,781 They can visualize your mother in a barn with Mister Ed. 943 00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:26,147 (NEIGHING LUSTILY) 944 00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:32,455 Look what l'm doing, Wilbur. Look at me! 945 00:46:32,456 --> 00:46:34,924 You snapping on me? 946 00:46:34,925 --> 00:46:37,594 Are you snapping on Reggie? 947 00:46:37,595 --> 00:46:38,928 lt's your teeth, Reggie. 948 00:46:38,929 --> 00:46:42,593 l don't know whether to smile at you or kick a field goal. 949 00:46:43,734 --> 00:46:46,536 Hey, Reggie! lt's good! 950 00:46:46,537 --> 00:46:48,371 lt's all good! 951 00:46:48,372 --> 00:46:51,274 And, man, what's wrong with that breath? l can smell it over here. 952 00:46:51,275 --> 00:46:52,776 Reggie, your breath is so stink, 953 00:46:52,777 --> 00:46:55,211 people look forward to your farts. 954 00:46:56,180 --> 00:46:59,382 Breath smell like shit. Do you smell shit? 955 00:46:59,383 --> 00:47:00,874 l smell shit. 956 00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:06,423 Oh! Oh! You done did it now, boy. 957 00:47:06,590 --> 00:47:09,959 l wasn't gonna say nothing 'cause l like black people. 958 00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,062 But it's time to attack black. 959 00:47:12,063 --> 00:47:15,198 That's right. The glove's coming off. 960 00:47:15,199 --> 00:47:16,466 Don't hurt me now! 961 00:47:16,467 --> 00:47:18,768 Maybe it's time for Reggie to lay into your mama. 962 00:47:18,769 --> 00:47:20,169 (CROWD CHEERS) 963 00:47:20,304 --> 00:47:22,405 Oh! Oh, yeah! 964 00:47:22,406 --> 00:47:26,443 Maybe it's time for Reggie to talk about your mama a little bit. 965 00:47:26,444 --> 00:47:27,811 You're the man, Reggie! 966 00:47:27,812 --> 00:47:30,406 Your mother's so fat, 967 00:47:32,450 --> 00:47:35,681 she went to Sizzler's, and the bitch got a group discount. 968 00:47:35,853 --> 00:47:37,620 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 969 00:47:37,621 --> 00:47:40,614 (HYSTERICAL LAUGHING) 970 00:47:46,430 --> 00:47:48,364 (SCREAMING) 971 00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:52,029 (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 972 00:47:53,838 --> 00:47:56,906 (SCREAMING AND GASPING) Okay, fat jokes! 973 00:47:56,907 --> 00:47:59,476 You want to do fat jokes? All right. 974 00:47:59,477 --> 00:48:01,478 Your mother's so fat, 975 00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:04,814 the bitch need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole! 976 00:48:04,815 --> 00:48:06,442 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 977 00:48:06,817 --> 00:48:09,819 All right! Wait, wait, wait. Your mother's so fat, 978 00:48:09,820 --> 00:48:14,023 after sex l rolled over twice, and l'm still on the bitch! 979 00:48:14,024 --> 00:48:15,392 (LAUGHING CONTINUES) 980 00:48:15,393 --> 00:48:18,728 Your mother is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck! 981 00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,764 Reggie's mama's so fat, 982 00:48:20,765 --> 00:48:24,067 that the bitch gets her toenails painted at Earl Scheib! 983 00:48:24,068 --> 00:48:25,802 Earl Scheib! 984 00:48:25,803 --> 00:48:27,771 Earl Scheib! 985 00:48:28,939 --> 00:48:31,541 Hey, hey, get off the stage, man. You ain't in show business. 986 00:48:31,542 --> 00:48:36,343 Reggie's mama is so fat, her blood type is Rocky Road! 987 00:48:37,047 --> 00:48:38,815 lsn't that something? 988 00:48:38,816 --> 00:48:42,952 Reggie's mother is so fat, her belt size is equator! 989 00:48:42,953 --> 00:48:44,546 (HOOTING AND CHEERING) 990 00:48:45,222 --> 00:48:46,656 Get it? Equator? 991 00:48:46,657 --> 00:48:49,319 (BUDDY LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 992 00:48:51,662 --> 00:48:53,863 Let's get a big round of applause for Reggie's mama's ass 993 00:48:53,864 --> 00:48:55,965 that brought us so much joy tonight. 994 00:48:55,966 --> 00:48:58,635 Yeah! That's a big ass. 995 00:48:58,636 --> 00:49:01,504 Enough! Silence! 996 00:49:01,505 --> 00:49:04,073 l can't take this shit no more. 997 00:49:04,074 --> 00:49:06,342 Now, you done talked about me enough, boy! 998 00:49:06,343 --> 00:49:09,846 l tried to be peaceful, but now it's time for Reggie 999 00:49:09,847 --> 00:49:11,548 to karatasize your ass! 1000 00:49:11,549 --> 00:49:12,782 (WHOOPS) 1001 00:49:12,783 --> 00:49:14,317 Oh, yeah. 1002 00:49:14,318 --> 00:49:16,047 (LAUGHING) 1003 00:49:18,088 --> 00:49:20,887 Oh, Reggie, l heard of dreadlocks, but shitlocks? 1004 00:49:22,326 --> 00:49:25,261 That's not your hair. Take that pile of shit off your head. 1005 00:49:25,262 --> 00:49:27,831 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) You... You go too far with the comedy. 1006 00:49:27,832 --> 00:49:28,932 (KARATE YELL) 1007 00:49:28,933 --> 00:49:30,266 Oh, oh! Come on! Come on. 1008 00:49:30,267 --> 00:49:32,001 What's that? Oh, yeah, it's my style, boy. 1009 00:49:32,002 --> 00:49:33,069 You didn't know Reggie studied. 1010 00:49:33,070 --> 00:49:34,304 What style is that? 1011 00:49:34,305 --> 00:49:35,638 This is called "Kick-Your-Ass Style," boy. 1012 00:49:35,639 --> 00:49:36,706 Oh, shit. 1013 00:49:36,707 --> 00:49:38,908 Reggie done studied on the streets. Oh! Come on! 1014 00:49:38,909 --> 00:49:40,310 (KARATE YELL) 1015 00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:41,377 Oh! Oh! 1016 00:49:41,378 --> 00:49:42,679 (AUDIENCE GASPS AND CHEERS) 1017 00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:43,943 (LAUGHING) 1018 00:49:45,783 --> 00:49:48,351 Oh, you quick, but l'm quicker. 1019 00:49:48,352 --> 00:49:49,719 Watch my feet. Come on with it! 1020 00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:51,521 l'm gonna come on with it. l'm gonna... 1021 00:49:51,522 --> 00:49:52,889 (KARATE YELLS) 1022 00:49:52,890 --> 00:49:54,057 REGGIE: Oh, damn! 1023 00:49:54,058 --> 00:49:55,558 (AUDIENCE GASPS) 1024 00:49:55,559 --> 00:49:56,793 Ladies and gentlemen, 1025 00:49:56,794 --> 00:49:58,228 me and Reggie want to send one out 1026 00:49:58,229 --> 00:50:01,289 to a very special lady in the house tonight. 1027 00:50:01,799 --> 00:50:02,866 (PIANO PLAYING) 1028 00:50:02,867 --> 00:50:07,236 (SINGING) Lovin' you is easy, 'cause you're beautiful 1029 00:50:09,974 --> 00:50:12,609 Do-un-do-un-doo-doo. Reggie? 1030 00:50:12,610 --> 00:50:13,743 (BONES CRACK) 1031 00:50:13,744 --> 00:50:15,838 (HOWLING) 1032 00:50:16,113 --> 00:50:18,848 Let go. That was pretty. 1033 00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:21,351 Ladies and gentlemen, Reggie has left the building. 1034 00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:23,081 Thank you, and good night. 1035 00:50:25,055 --> 00:50:26,785 (CHEERING) 1036 00:50:28,792 --> 00:50:32,562 Oh, stop it! Stop it! Now, thank you so much. Thank you. 1037 00:50:32,563 --> 00:50:34,797 Thank you so... Oh, please, please, come on now. 1038 00:50:34,798 --> 00:50:38,635 Hey, who pinched my ass? Cut it out. That's good. 1039 00:50:38,636 --> 00:50:40,603 All right. Thank you. Can you get the bill for me? 1040 00:50:40,604 --> 00:50:42,539 Thanks, man. Too much! 1041 00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:44,607 That was amazing. l can't believe you did that. 1042 00:50:44,608 --> 00:50:46,910 Amazing is my middle name. 1043 00:50:46,911 --> 00:50:49,312 l only wish Professor Klump was here to have seen it. 1044 00:50:49,313 --> 00:50:50,473 Listen. 1045 00:50:51,315 --> 00:50:54,842 This is our moment. l don't wanna ruin it with talks of Sherman. 1046 00:50:56,053 --> 00:51:00,924 You know, your eyes, there's something very familiar about them, 1047 00:51:00,925 --> 00:51:02,620 as if l already know you. 1048 00:51:04,128 --> 00:51:07,897 You know, l feel the exact same way about you, Miss Purty. 1049 00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:10,367 (BALLAD PLAYING ON SOUND SYSTEM) 1050 00:51:19,576 --> 00:51:21,377 Miss Purty, let me tell you. 1051 00:51:21,378 --> 00:51:23,112 (lN PROFESSOR'S VOICE) That kiss was probably 1052 00:51:23,113 --> 00:51:25,481 the most wonderful kiss l've ever... 1053 00:51:25,482 --> 00:51:27,050 (CLEARS THROAT) 1054 00:51:27,051 --> 00:51:29,452 What l meant to say was that... 1055 00:51:29,453 --> 00:51:30,753 Your lip. What? 1056 00:51:30,754 --> 00:51:32,822 Your lip is swollen. My lip? 1057 00:51:32,823 --> 00:51:34,524 Yes. 1058 00:51:34,525 --> 00:51:36,459 Oh, my lip? Oh. 1059 00:51:36,460 --> 00:51:37,827 That happens every time l... 1060 00:51:37,828 --> 00:51:39,128 What kind of lipstick do you have on? 1061 00:51:39,129 --> 00:51:41,197 Chanel. That happens every time 1062 00:51:41,198 --> 00:51:43,666 l have Chanel lipstick on my lips. An allergic reaction. 1063 00:51:43,667 --> 00:51:44,862 (RUMBLING) 1064 00:51:45,035 --> 00:51:48,237 Oh. lt's giving me gas, too. You have to go catch a cab. 1065 00:51:48,238 --> 00:51:51,574 l gotta go to the drugstore and get some Benadryl and Kaopectate. 1066 00:51:51,575 --> 00:51:53,076 Excuse me, have a pleasant evening. Bye, bye! 1067 00:51:53,077 --> 00:51:54,610 Buddy! Buddy, wait! 1068 00:51:54,611 --> 00:51:56,341 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 1069 00:51:56,513 --> 00:51:57,708 Oh, man. 1070 00:51:58,482 --> 00:52:00,416 Hey, Professor Klump is here? Yeah. 1071 00:52:00,417 --> 00:52:01,551 Where is he? 1072 00:52:01,552 --> 00:52:03,519 There he is, right there. 1073 00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:04,954 That guy gave you this credit card? 1074 00:52:04,955 --> 00:52:06,322 Yup. 1075 00:52:06,323 --> 00:52:08,358 That's not Professor Klump. 1076 00:52:08,359 --> 00:52:10,193 That's not his credit card. Hey! 1077 00:52:10,194 --> 00:52:11,388 What? 1078 00:52:13,397 --> 00:52:15,456 Hey! Hey! 1079 00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:20,236 Okay, fella, what are you doing with the Professor's credit card? 1080 00:52:20,237 --> 00:52:21,796 Where'd you get it? 1081 00:52:22,039 --> 00:52:24,701 l'm sorry. Perhaps you need the money more than l thought... 1082 00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:31,410 (JASON GROANS) 1083 00:52:32,850 --> 00:52:35,512 JASON: (SCREAMING) Oh, my God! 1084 00:52:36,420 --> 00:52:38,115 (SCREAMING) 1085 00:52:43,894 --> 00:52:47,130 Oh, my God! That's a bus! 1086 00:52:47,131 --> 00:52:51,034 You're gonna kill us, man! What the hell is the matter... 1087 00:52:51,035 --> 00:52:53,902 Oh, man! This is Freddy Krueger shit, man! 1088 00:52:55,339 --> 00:52:56,670 Professor? 1089 00:52:58,876 --> 00:53:00,366 Hello, Jason. 1090 00:53:01,311 --> 00:53:04,304 JASON: (SCREAMING) What's happening? 1091 00:53:09,319 --> 00:53:10,810 (SIREN WAILING) 1092 00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:19,955 First time we had to use one of these without an accident. 1093 00:53:40,317 --> 00:53:42,151 The class left 20 minutes ago. 1094 00:53:42,152 --> 00:53:44,921 Dean Richmond! Oh, hello, sir. 1095 00:53:44,922 --> 00:53:48,157 You caught me in the middle of an experiment l was doing. 1096 00:53:48,158 --> 00:53:51,761 l was trying to see how the students would respond to a teacher-less environment. 1097 00:53:51,762 --> 00:53:55,631 Teacher-less environment? New field of research for you? 1098 00:53:55,632 --> 00:53:56,699 Yes, sir. 1099 00:53:56,700 --> 00:53:57,800 lnteresting. Always thinking. 1100 00:53:57,801 --> 00:53:59,535 That's good, Klump. Let me know your results. 1101 00:53:59,536 --> 00:54:01,869 Would you mind explaining this? 1102 00:54:03,474 --> 00:54:07,710 Oh! Yeah, well, my car's in the shop, so... 1103 00:54:07,711 --> 00:54:11,671 So you put a $47,000 luxury car on your faculty account. 1104 00:54:12,349 --> 00:54:17,120 lnitially, l... l requested a Yugo, and this is all they had... 1105 00:54:17,121 --> 00:54:18,955 lf it's all they had, it's all they had. 1106 00:54:18,956 --> 00:54:22,050 After all, men like us can't walk around now, can we? 1107 00:54:23,127 --> 00:54:24,355 (CHUCKLING) Come on. 1108 00:54:25,329 --> 00:54:26,763 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1109 00:54:26,764 --> 00:54:30,032 Oh, well, well. l'm glad you're taking it like that, sir. 1110 00:54:30,033 --> 00:54:32,235 l thought you was gonna get angry and start screaming 1111 00:54:32,236 --> 00:54:35,228 and hollering, and maybe even fire me. 1112 00:54:37,007 --> 00:54:38,975 (LAUGHING) Whoo! Oh, Sherman, Sherman. 1113 00:54:38,976 --> 00:54:41,110 ln the end we know so little of each other, hmm? 1114 00:54:41,111 --> 00:54:44,981 No, my friend, l've got bigger fish to fry. l spoke to Harlan Hartley. 1115 00:54:44,982 --> 00:54:48,351 He's offering that tiny trinket that could save your entire research program. 1116 00:54:48,352 --> 00:54:49,652 Oh, yes. Absolutely. 1117 00:54:49,653 --> 00:54:50,820 l set up a meeting with him. 1118 00:54:50,821 --> 00:54:53,789 He wants to hear your grant proposal personally. 1119 00:54:53,790 --> 00:54:56,559 Friday, the Ritz, dinner, 8:00 sharp. 1120 00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:59,462 Well, sir, l think that's a wonderful idea, sir. Absolutely. 1121 00:54:59,463 --> 00:55:01,864 And l promise you, l will not let you down. 1122 00:55:01,865 --> 00:55:03,432 l know you won't. 1123 00:55:03,433 --> 00:55:05,701 l know you're going to be there and you're going to be great. 1124 00:55:05,702 --> 00:55:07,303 ln fact, l know you're going to be perfect. 1125 00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:08,771 (LAUGHING) 1126 00:55:08,772 --> 00:55:10,006 Do you know how l know? 1127 00:55:10,007 --> 00:55:11,107 How's that? 1128 00:55:11,108 --> 00:55:13,242 'Cause if you're not perfect, 1129 00:55:13,243 --> 00:55:15,378 never mind the yelling and the screaming and the firing. 1130 00:55:15,379 --> 00:55:20,483 lf anything goes wrong for any reason, l'm going to kill you. 1131 00:55:20,484 --> 00:55:23,753 l don't mean that as a euphemism. l'm going to literally kill you. 1132 00:55:23,754 --> 00:55:28,424 l'm going to strangle you and choke off your air supply 1133 00:55:28,425 --> 00:55:30,223 until you pass away. 1134 00:55:31,929 --> 00:55:33,863 (EXCLAIMS) Okay. 1135 00:55:34,531 --> 00:55:36,192 Till Friday, then. 1136 00:55:38,368 --> 00:55:40,633 lt's a date. 1137 00:55:40,837 --> 00:55:43,272 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 1138 00:55:46,844 --> 00:55:49,045 Sir, this is incredible. 1139 00:55:49,046 --> 00:55:51,314 lt's... lt's a complete metabolic transformation. 1140 00:55:51,315 --> 00:55:53,749 How did it happen? Was it an accident? 1141 00:55:54,017 --> 00:55:56,519 No, l did it to myself, Jason. 1142 00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,721 You did? Why? 1143 00:55:58,722 --> 00:56:03,125 lf it was for the grant, the data with Shelley was already so compelling. 1144 00:56:03,126 --> 00:56:06,495 Well, l have compelling reasons of my own, Jason. 1145 00:56:06,496 --> 00:56:09,599 l have a case of infatuation of sorts with Miss Purty. 1146 00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:13,936 Professor, if you feel this way about Carla, why don't you tell her? 1147 00:56:13,937 --> 00:56:15,905 lt'd be a lot simpler than transforming into... 1148 00:56:15,906 --> 00:56:18,941 This guy's testosterone levels are right off the charts. 1149 00:56:18,942 --> 00:56:22,211 He was mean last night. lt was so unlike you. 1150 00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:23,479 You know, l did feel that. 1151 00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:25,448 Sir, you can't control him. 1152 00:56:25,449 --> 00:56:28,918 Jason, you have no idea what it feels like to be Buddy Love. 1153 00:56:28,919 --> 00:56:31,887 lt's indescribable. lt's just wonderful! 1154 00:56:31,888 --> 00:56:35,391 The way people talk to him and treat him, and the way she looks at him. 1155 00:56:35,392 --> 00:56:38,027 But he's dangerous. He almost killed us last night. 1156 00:56:38,028 --> 00:56:41,998 We should be concentrating on getting the grant proposal to Harlan Hartley. 1157 00:56:41,999 --> 00:56:43,489 This is nuts! 1158 00:56:46,036 --> 00:56:50,200 l guess you're right, Jason. l never have behaved like this before. 1159 00:56:52,376 --> 00:56:54,936 But on the other hand, 1160 00:56:55,913 --> 00:56:58,981 l've never been in love before. 1161 00:56:58,982 --> 00:57:00,382 Ever. 1162 00:57:19,903 --> 00:57:21,304 Afternoon, Carla. 1163 00:57:21,305 --> 00:57:22,405 Hi, Sherman. 1164 00:57:22,406 --> 00:57:24,040 How are you doing today? 1165 00:57:24,041 --> 00:57:25,341 Pretty good. 1166 00:57:25,342 --> 00:57:28,511 l come over to see how things were going with you and Buddy. 1167 00:57:28,512 --> 00:57:30,513 l wish l knew. 1168 00:57:30,514 --> 00:57:34,116 We went out last night. lt was great. We had such a wonderful time. 1169 00:57:34,117 --> 00:57:36,585 And then all of a sudden he runs out of the club. 1170 00:57:36,586 --> 00:57:38,354 He has some allergic reaction. 1171 00:57:38,355 --> 00:57:39,956 l don't even know if he's all right. 1172 00:57:39,957 --> 00:57:41,057 He's fine. 1173 00:57:41,058 --> 00:57:43,059 He told me that his lip swelled up, 1174 00:57:43,060 --> 00:57:44,760 he put ice on it and the swelling came down. 1175 00:57:44,761 --> 00:57:45,928 Kinda strange, huh? 1176 00:57:45,929 --> 00:57:48,431 Well, did he even ask about me? 1177 00:57:48,432 --> 00:57:51,901 Did he say why he didn't call me and let me know he was all right? 1178 00:57:51,902 --> 00:57:53,569 Carla, Buddy's kind of unreliable. 1179 00:57:53,570 --> 00:57:55,071 He's kind of what you call 1180 00:57:55,072 --> 00:57:57,540 a "here today, gone tomorrow" kind of fellow. 1181 00:57:57,541 --> 00:57:59,308 Oh, l see. Mmm-hmm. 1182 00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:03,412 So he had you talk to me because he's not interested anymore. 1183 00:58:03,413 --> 00:58:05,514 No, it's nothing quite like that. Look. 1184 00:58:05,515 --> 00:58:09,185 l know what it feels like to be brushed off, and it's okay. 1185 00:58:09,186 --> 00:58:11,053 This is all my fault. 1186 00:58:11,054 --> 00:58:13,723 l should've never encouraged you to go out with Buddy. 1187 00:58:13,724 --> 00:58:16,090 Sherman, you have been so sweet. 1188 00:58:16,793 --> 00:58:20,252 l'll just have to forget about him. l'll see you later. 1189 00:58:21,331 --> 00:58:22,526 Carla. 1190 00:58:24,634 --> 00:58:26,502 l was wondering if 1191 00:58:26,503 --> 00:58:29,472 l could talk to you about you and l, for a second. 1192 00:58:29,473 --> 00:58:31,407 l was... 1193 00:58:33,076 --> 00:58:35,277 l was wondering what you were doing later, 1194 00:58:35,278 --> 00:58:38,280 'cause the family gonna get together. 1195 00:58:38,281 --> 00:58:41,050 She made a meal 1196 00:58:41,051 --> 00:58:43,219 and we gonna be eating, so l figured 1197 00:58:43,220 --> 00:58:44,887 if you not doing anything for dinner, 1198 00:58:44,888 --> 00:58:48,654 we'd love to have you, if you want to come over for dinner. 1199 00:58:49,593 --> 00:58:52,255 We'd love to have you over for dinner. 1200 00:58:53,063 --> 00:58:54,597 l'd love to. 1201 00:58:54,598 --> 00:58:55,765 Would you, now? 1202 00:58:55,766 --> 00:58:57,099 Yes, l would. 1203 00:58:57,100 --> 00:59:00,002 Should we call and make sure there's going to be enough food? 1204 00:59:00,003 --> 00:59:02,495 l don't think that's going to be a problem. 1205 00:59:02,839 --> 00:59:04,140 (ALL CHATTERING) 1206 00:59:04,141 --> 00:59:06,208 MAMA: There's nothing like being with family! 1207 00:59:06,209 --> 00:59:08,344 GRANDMA: l am hungry. Come on, now. 1208 00:59:08,345 --> 00:59:09,712 Carla, where are you from? 1209 00:59:09,713 --> 00:59:10,880 Chicago. 1210 00:59:10,881 --> 00:59:12,815 Oh, Chicago! We have family there. 1211 00:59:12,816 --> 00:59:14,417 PAPA: Windy city, huh? 1212 00:59:14,418 --> 00:59:16,786 l was working on a skyscraper in Chicago once, 1213 00:59:16,787 --> 00:59:18,954 and my lunch blew off the 27th floor. 1214 00:59:18,955 --> 00:59:21,424 Yeah, l figure your fat ass would remember 1215 00:59:21,425 --> 00:59:23,826 somebody's sandwich flying off a building. 1216 00:59:23,827 --> 00:59:24,894 (LOUD BELCH) 1217 00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:26,462 Oh, baby, eat some bread. 1218 00:59:26,463 --> 00:59:29,131 Miss Purty, are you and Sherman having relations? 1219 00:59:29,132 --> 00:59:31,100 TOGETHER: That's a good question. 1220 00:59:31,101 --> 00:59:32,401 No, Grandma. 1221 00:59:32,402 --> 00:59:34,837 lt's not like that. We're colleagues. 1222 00:59:34,838 --> 00:59:36,939 Oh. PROFESSOR: We just work together. 1223 00:59:36,940 --> 00:59:38,641 That's how it start out colleagues. 1224 00:59:38,642 --> 00:59:40,342 Me and your grandfather was colleagues. 1225 00:59:40,343 --> 00:59:43,746 Next thing you know he's on top of me in the shed, pumping and a-sweating. 1226 00:59:43,747 --> 00:59:44,880 lt's not like that. 1227 00:59:44,881 --> 00:59:46,282 PAPA: Will you hush up? 1228 00:59:46,283 --> 00:59:47,583 He's never brought a girl home. 1229 00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,318 The least you can do is let us talk to her. 1230 00:59:49,319 --> 00:59:51,487 Yeah, l'd like to get to know her a little better myself. 1231 00:59:51,488 --> 00:59:54,323 Ain't nothing wrong with having relations. Don't be ashamed of that. 1232 00:59:54,324 --> 00:59:55,925 Relations is beautiful. 1233 00:59:55,926 --> 00:59:58,561 When l was young l used to always have relations. 1234 00:59:58,562 --> 01:00:03,065 Every night, if a nice gentleman bring me flowers and candy, 1235 01:00:03,066 --> 01:00:06,969 take me to a movie, show me a lovely evening, 1236 01:00:06,970 --> 01:00:11,140 then l would take him home and give him hot, lovely relations. 1237 01:00:11,141 --> 01:00:12,441 Relations is a beautiful thing. 1238 01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:14,276 lt's nothing to be ashamed of. 1239 01:00:14,277 --> 01:00:16,645 Especially two young people. 1240 01:00:16,646 --> 01:00:18,080 That blowhole. 1241 01:00:18,215 --> 01:00:19,415 Cletus! 1242 01:00:19,416 --> 01:00:21,517 Sometimes when l'm alone, l relate to myself. 1243 01:00:21,518 --> 01:00:22,678 l can relate. 1244 01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:24,787 Oh, Mama. 1245 01:00:24,788 --> 01:00:26,822 l don't wanna hear this shit while l'm eating. 1246 01:00:26,823 --> 01:00:27,957 MAMA: Cletus! 1247 01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:29,358 (WHISPERING) l'm gonna kill you later. 1248 01:00:29,359 --> 01:00:31,293 Carla, do you like children? Yes. 1249 01:00:31,294 --> 01:00:32,761 Oh, that's wonderful. 1250 01:00:32,762 --> 01:00:35,598 l can't wait for Sherman to bring me home some grandbabies. 1251 01:00:35,599 --> 01:00:37,500 ERNIE: l know you're gonna enjoy making them babies. 1252 01:00:37,501 --> 01:00:39,168 Got those childbearing hips. 1253 01:00:39,169 --> 01:00:41,070 (CLEARS THROAT) Baby'll pop right out. 1254 01:00:41,071 --> 01:00:42,171 (MAKES POPPING SOUND) 1255 01:00:42,172 --> 01:00:45,007 Your family got any money? l ain't paying for no big-ass wedding. 1256 01:00:45,008 --> 01:00:46,709 l know a wonderful minister. 1257 01:00:46,710 --> 01:00:48,077 What religious background are you? 1258 01:00:48,078 --> 01:00:51,614 l still got my wedding dress. lf you want it, l'll take it in. 1259 01:00:51,615 --> 01:00:55,951 You'd look so lovely in it. lt's white though. 1260 01:00:55,952 --> 01:00:58,587 Can you wear a white wedding dress, young lady? 1261 01:00:58,588 --> 01:01:02,024 Now, Sherman, you can wear a white tuxedo. 1262 01:01:02,392 --> 01:01:04,159 'Cause you know Sherman, 1263 01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:06,328 (WHISPERING) Sherman has never had relations. 1264 01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:08,297 Mama, you gonna embarrass my baby. 1265 01:01:08,298 --> 01:01:09,665 GRANDMA: l hope you got a strong back. 1266 01:01:09,666 --> 01:01:10,699 MAMA: Oh, look at my baby blushing. 1267 01:01:10,700 --> 01:01:13,502 When you get all that man, and release all that 1268 01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:16,837 that's been built up for 35 years. 1269 01:01:17,874 --> 01:01:21,343 Just wanting and wanting and wanting! 1270 01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:23,679 (EXCLAIMS) Might make your head blow off. 1271 01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:26,248 Pop goes the weasel! 1272 01:01:26,249 --> 01:01:28,450 l got my own self hot telling that story. 1273 01:01:28,451 --> 01:01:30,753 Pop goes the weasel, 'cause the weasel say "pop!" 1274 01:01:30,754 --> 01:01:33,656 You gonna get married here, or in Chicago? 1275 01:01:33,657 --> 01:01:36,125 MAMA: Do you cook? 'Cause somebody's got to feed my Sherman. 1276 01:01:36,126 --> 01:01:38,928 Yeah, l know a wonderful church down there on Main Street, 1277 01:01:38,929 --> 01:01:41,330 but they won't marry you if you're a lesbian. 1278 01:01:41,331 --> 01:01:44,198 Not that l have anything against lesbians. l love lesbians. 1279 01:01:44,334 --> 01:01:45,968 Lesbians is cool. 1280 01:01:45,969 --> 01:01:48,237 There's nothing wrong with a little bingo. 1281 01:01:48,238 --> 01:01:50,105 A little cunnilingus ain't never hurt nobody. 1282 01:01:50,106 --> 01:01:52,775 Why is it the woman always gets the choice where they're gonna be married? 1283 01:01:52,776 --> 01:01:54,410 Tradition. Tradition, my ass! 1284 01:01:54,411 --> 01:01:56,679 l ain't gonna pay for everybody flying to no Chicago! 1285 01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:58,080 You know how much plane tickets cost? 1286 01:01:58,081 --> 01:02:00,182 You cheap bastard. 1287 01:02:00,183 --> 01:02:02,017 PAPA: We're gonna have to drive down there. 1288 01:02:02,018 --> 01:02:04,112 l'm not driving over to Chicago. 1289 01:02:05,288 --> 01:02:08,884 (SINGING) Sherman gonna have relations 1290 01:02:09,225 --> 01:02:11,421 My baby's not getting married. 1291 01:02:12,095 --> 01:02:13,195 (LOUD FART) 1292 01:02:13,196 --> 01:02:14,563 There you go again, 1293 01:02:14,564 --> 01:02:17,166 popping off gas in front of this lovely young lady. 1294 01:02:17,167 --> 01:02:19,401 We're trying to have a meal. Put that brake on this gas. 1295 01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:22,504 l hope your ass turn into a frog. 1296 01:02:22,505 --> 01:02:24,506 Don't nobody want to hear your flatulence, Cletus Klump. 1297 01:02:24,507 --> 01:02:25,708 (LOUD FART) 1298 01:02:25,709 --> 01:02:26,875 MAMA: You're such a disgrace! 1299 01:02:26,876 --> 01:02:29,111 PAPA: l stopped holding my gas a long time ago. 1300 01:02:29,112 --> 01:02:30,546 MAMA: You spoiled the dinner! 1301 01:02:30,547 --> 01:02:32,815 (ERNIE JR. LAUGHING) PAPA: Say one more word. 1302 01:02:32,816 --> 01:02:34,350 (CHATTERING CONTINUES) 1303 01:02:34,351 --> 01:02:36,685 (BELL TOLLING) 1304 01:02:36,686 --> 01:02:37,987 Listen, Carla, 1305 01:02:37,988 --> 01:02:40,289 l want to apologize about my family back there. 1306 01:02:40,290 --> 01:02:42,024 l think they got the wrong idea about things. 1307 01:02:42,025 --> 01:02:45,094 Oh, no. l should apologize. 1308 01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:47,630 l'm so sorry if l seemed distant tonight. 1309 01:02:47,631 --> 01:02:50,666 l still have Buddy on my mind. 1310 01:02:50,667 --> 01:02:52,362 You really care for Buddy, huh? 1311 01:02:52,936 --> 01:02:54,699 l don't know. 1312 01:02:54,938 --> 01:02:58,641 l mean, on the outside, he seems so cocky and brash. 1313 01:02:58,642 --> 01:03:02,378 But when l look in his eyes, l see kindness, l see warmth. 1314 01:03:02,379 --> 01:03:04,913 And that's the side of Buddy l wanted to get to know. 1315 01:03:04,914 --> 01:03:07,213 l just got way ahead of myself. 1316 01:03:07,717 --> 01:03:11,520 And here l am, talking your ear off once again about Buddy. 1317 01:03:11,521 --> 01:03:13,022 No, it's quite all right, really. 1318 01:03:13,023 --> 01:03:16,325 Listen, Carla, 1319 01:03:16,326 --> 01:03:18,827 don't you worry about Buddy. 1320 01:03:18,828 --> 01:03:20,660 l'll find him for you. 1321 01:03:21,965 --> 01:03:24,099 Thank you, Sherman. 1322 01:03:24,100 --> 01:03:27,036 Thank you for being such a good friend to me. 1323 01:03:28,738 --> 01:03:30,263 A good friend. 1324 01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:38,641 Good night. 1325 01:03:39,082 --> 01:03:40,447 Good night. 1326 01:03:49,259 --> 01:03:50,556 (SIGHS) 1327 01:04:03,373 --> 01:04:05,136 (LOUD CRASHING) 1328 01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:07,207 Professor? 1329 01:04:09,212 --> 01:04:12,876 ls that you? l just finished the grant proposal. 1330 01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:18,587 What's the matter with you? 1331 01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:20,322 Never seen a brother wearing a circus tent before? 1332 01:04:20,323 --> 01:04:21,924 Black man can't go camping? 1333 01:04:21,925 --> 01:04:24,059 Now, wait a minute, you... You can't be you. 1334 01:04:24,060 --> 01:04:26,028 We agreed that you wouldn't do this. 1335 01:04:26,029 --> 01:04:28,530 Someone has to tend to chunky butt's sex life. 1336 01:04:28,531 --> 01:04:31,296 Chunky butt is extremely horny. Excuse me. 1337 01:04:31,668 --> 01:04:35,404 But Professor Klump has a meeting tonight with Harlan Hartley at the Ritz. 1338 01:04:35,405 --> 01:04:38,607 l'm gonna be at the Ritz tonight, but it will not be in the interest of science. 1339 01:04:38,608 --> 01:04:41,134 No! l can't let you go. 1340 01:04:41,678 --> 01:04:43,345 Professor! 1341 01:04:43,346 --> 01:04:48,183 lf you're in there and you can hear me, come out! 1342 01:04:48,184 --> 01:04:52,121 Professor, listen to me. The testosterone levels are way too high. 1343 01:04:52,122 --> 01:04:54,056 You can't control him. 1344 01:04:54,057 --> 01:04:55,758 (WHEEZING) 1345 01:04:55,759 --> 01:04:59,627 (GROANING AND MOANING) 1346 01:04:59,963 --> 01:05:01,964 Oh! Jason! What? 1347 01:05:01,965 --> 01:05:03,399 (GASPING) lt's me, Sherman. 1348 01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:06,468 l'm talking to you from deep down inside Buddy Love. 1349 01:05:06,469 --> 01:05:09,838 Listen to me closely. Go in the back room while l'm holding him 1350 01:05:09,839 --> 01:05:12,174 and get the coagulant serum off the back shelf! 1351 01:05:12,175 --> 01:05:13,409 ln the storage closet? Yes, Jason! 1352 01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:15,177 l got it! Hurry, Jason! 1353 01:05:15,178 --> 01:05:17,980 l got it! We don't have much time. Let's move! 1354 01:05:17,981 --> 01:05:19,281 (YELLS) 1355 01:05:19,282 --> 01:05:20,716 (MANIACAL LAUGHING) 1356 01:05:20,717 --> 01:05:22,785 Professor! Professor! 1357 01:05:22,786 --> 01:05:25,988 l have an appointment with love! Good night, hamster boy! 1358 01:05:25,989 --> 01:05:27,322 (POUNDING ON DOOR) No, Professor! 1359 01:05:27,323 --> 01:05:28,450 (SCREAMING) 1360 01:05:50,180 --> 01:05:53,682 "Sorry l haven't phoned, but l haven't been myself lately. 1361 01:05:53,683 --> 01:05:56,251 "Join me for dinner. Buddy Love. 1362 01:05:56,252 --> 01:06:00,815 "P.S. l've enclosed a wallet-sized photo for your enjoyment." 1363 01:06:02,325 --> 01:06:03,520 (CHUCKLING) 1364 01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:07,597 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 1365 01:06:09,399 --> 01:06:12,267 Buddy, how can l stay mad at you? This is gorgeous! 1366 01:06:12,268 --> 01:06:13,769 You're gorgeous and l'm gorgeous, 1367 01:06:13,770 --> 01:06:15,003 so we should be in gorgeous surroundings. 1368 01:06:15,004 --> 01:06:16,171 Let me get the room key. 1369 01:06:16,172 --> 01:06:17,473 Wait. Hold it. 1370 01:06:17,474 --> 01:06:19,575 l didn't say anything about going to any room with you. 1371 01:06:19,576 --> 01:06:22,244 You said you were taking me to dinner. 1372 01:06:22,245 --> 01:06:25,147 What are you talking about? Oh, you think that... Oh! 1373 01:06:25,148 --> 01:06:27,616 Oh, my... Hey, hey, hey. Slow down. 1374 01:06:27,617 --> 01:06:30,219 l just want to spend some time with you, by ourselves. 1375 01:06:30,220 --> 01:06:34,356 l don't want to share you with these people. l want to eat, alone, quiet. 1376 01:06:34,357 --> 01:06:38,260 l would never disrespect you. l'm a puppy dog. 1377 01:06:39,095 --> 01:06:41,463 Please, can l go get this room? 1378 01:06:41,464 --> 01:06:42,693 (BARKS QUIETLY) 1379 01:06:43,266 --> 01:06:45,166 Yes? Yes. 1380 01:06:45,668 --> 01:06:47,836 l'd throw him in the river with a Buick tied to his neck. 1381 01:06:47,837 --> 01:06:49,371 He'd probably drag the car down. 1382 01:06:49,372 --> 01:06:51,340 Miss Purty. Purty! Dean Richmond. 1383 01:06:51,341 --> 01:06:53,942 Have you seen Professor Klump? He's 40 minutes late. 1384 01:06:53,943 --> 01:06:56,912 lf Harlan Hartley walks out that door, $10 million goes with him. 1385 01:06:56,913 --> 01:06:59,848 Oh, Lord. l'm gonna have to lay down in front of his car. 1386 01:06:59,849 --> 01:07:02,317 Let's go. Buddy, you know Sherman's research. 1387 01:07:02,318 --> 01:07:04,519 He's late for a meeting. Fill in for him. 1388 01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:07,289 No, it's a nice thought, but he'd have to know Sherman's research. 1389 01:07:07,290 --> 01:07:10,359 You know Sherman's research? Who are you? 1390 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:12,294 You might say l'm a visiting professor 1391 01:07:12,295 --> 01:07:13,729 who might be staying for a while. 1392 01:07:13,730 --> 01:07:16,298 l do know Sherman's work. ln fact, l am Sherman's work. 1393 01:07:16,299 --> 01:07:17,499 Buddy! 1394 01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:18,667 Do you think you can do Klump's job 1395 01:07:18,668 --> 01:07:20,469 and crowbar that dough out of Hartley? 1396 01:07:20,470 --> 01:07:23,739 There's not a job on this planet l can't do twice as good as Sherman. 1397 01:07:23,740 --> 01:07:25,731 Good. Follow me. 1398 01:07:27,010 --> 01:07:29,811 l'll go do this just 'cause you asked me, not 'cause of him. 1399 01:07:29,812 --> 01:07:31,613 You just stay put. 1400 01:07:31,614 --> 01:07:35,083 l've got to go be brilliant. Look at your fine self. 1401 01:07:35,084 --> 01:07:38,787 l bet you have on a thong made of licorice, don't you? 1402 01:07:38,788 --> 01:07:40,586 Excuse me. 1403 01:07:40,823 --> 01:07:42,450 (RICHMOND LAUGHING) 1404 01:07:42,625 --> 01:07:44,192 All righty! 1405 01:07:44,193 --> 01:07:46,595 Well, this had better be Professor Klump. 1406 01:07:46,596 --> 01:07:49,164 Klump? That fraud, that hack, that no-talent. 1407 01:07:49,165 --> 01:07:52,000 No, sir, this is the man behind Klump's work, the real genius. 1408 01:07:52,001 --> 01:07:54,369 l give you Professor Buddy Love. 1409 01:07:54,370 --> 01:07:55,971 All right, Professor Love. 1410 01:07:55,972 --> 01:07:58,073 You have one minute to show me your research. 1411 01:07:58,074 --> 01:08:02,144 Oh, no, you got it backwards, Rockefeller. You have one minute to listen. 1412 01:08:02,145 --> 01:08:03,845 May l borrow this? You haven't used it, have you? 1413 01:08:03,846 --> 01:08:05,347 Don't want to get your boogers on my fingers. 1414 01:08:05,348 --> 01:08:07,683 Okay. Here we go. 1415 01:08:07,684 --> 01:08:09,751 25N times C. 1416 01:08:09,752 --> 01:08:13,221 You have to excuse my handwriting. l'm in a bit of a rush. 1417 01:08:13,222 --> 01:08:15,524 You have a pleasant evening. Good night. 1418 01:08:15,525 --> 01:08:16,858 Professor Love, 1419 01:08:16,859 --> 01:08:21,029 don't you think Mr. Hartley would like to know what that means in lay terms? 1420 01:08:21,030 --> 01:08:22,097 (CHUCKLES) 1421 01:08:22,098 --> 01:08:23,632 Oh, you mean rich-dummy terms? 1422 01:08:23,633 --> 01:08:27,336 l'll break it down for the rich dummies in the room. Listen up. 1423 01:08:27,337 --> 01:08:30,405 lf you eat nasty stuff like this... 1424 01:08:30,406 --> 01:08:33,241 l know it looks good, and some of y'all like pork chops, 1425 01:08:33,242 --> 01:08:35,310 but this greasy, nasty pork chop, 1426 01:08:35,311 --> 01:08:38,146 do you realize there's a gene in your DNA 1427 01:08:38,147 --> 01:08:40,148 that routes this straight to your fat cells, 1428 01:08:40,149 --> 01:08:42,351 and it causes unsightly conditions. 1429 01:08:42,352 --> 01:08:46,822 Case in point, this woman is suffering from what l like to call "Jell-O arms." 1430 01:08:46,823 --> 01:08:51,259 The arm is taking on a gelatin sort of vibe. lt's quite nasty. 1431 01:08:51,260 --> 01:08:53,929 To my left, this gentleman has turkey neck. 1432 01:08:53,930 --> 01:08:57,132 To my immediate left, this woman is suffering from what we like to call, 1433 01:08:57,133 --> 01:08:58,900 "Saddlebag syndrome." 1434 01:08:58,901 --> 01:09:00,469 To my extreme left, 1435 01:09:00,470 --> 01:09:04,206 this young lady is suffering from what l like to call "Tank ass." 1436 01:09:04,207 --> 01:09:07,409 Please, sit down. Not tonight. l'm your brother! 1437 01:09:07,410 --> 01:09:10,512 Like l was saying, everybody, where there's a will, there's a way. 1438 01:09:10,513 --> 01:09:13,215 There is a way we can turn these genes off. 1439 01:09:13,216 --> 01:09:16,049 l'm not talking about using exercise or diet. 1440 01:09:16,219 --> 01:09:18,787 l'm talking about by taking a simple solution 1441 01:09:18,788 --> 01:09:22,391 that helps reconstruct your metabolic cellular strands, 1442 01:09:22,392 --> 01:09:24,393 thus giving you the appearance of, 1443 01:09:24,394 --> 01:09:27,129 in medical terms, gluteus minimus. 1444 01:09:27,130 --> 01:09:30,465 Or, in layman's terms, an extremely tight, wonderful ass. 1445 01:09:30,466 --> 01:09:33,035 Let's give a big round of applause for the woman with the nice ass. 1446 01:09:33,036 --> 01:09:35,771 Her ass is so nice, don't you agree? She's worked so hard. 1447 01:09:35,772 --> 01:09:39,241 Have a seat. Oh, are these girls with you? 1448 01:09:39,242 --> 01:09:41,376 Everyone has a nice ass at this table. 1449 01:09:41,377 --> 01:09:43,378 ls this the nice-ass section? 1450 01:09:43,379 --> 01:09:44,679 (LAUGHTER) 1451 01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:46,014 Where'd you find this man? 1452 01:09:46,015 --> 01:09:47,549 Harlan, it's an outrage. 1453 01:09:47,550 --> 01:09:50,252 l assure you he has no affiliation with this school. 1454 01:09:50,253 --> 01:09:51,453 He's brilliant. 1455 01:09:51,454 --> 01:09:52,788 Exactly my point. 1456 01:09:52,789 --> 01:09:54,456 lt's an outrage that his brilliance 1457 01:09:54,457 --> 01:09:56,825 has no affiliation with this school. 1458 01:09:56,826 --> 01:09:59,294 That's why l found him and brought him to your money. 1459 01:09:59,295 --> 01:10:01,559 Attention. Brought him to your attention. 1460 01:10:01,831 --> 01:10:03,959 (CLOCK BELL STRIKING) 1461 01:10:05,435 --> 01:10:08,103 My goodness, it is time to take my medication. 1462 01:10:08,104 --> 01:10:09,671 Professor! 1463 01:10:09,672 --> 01:10:12,407 Hartley loved you. He's going to be at the Alumni Ball tomorrow night. 1464 01:10:12,408 --> 01:10:14,676 lf you can prove the formula works, the ten million is ours! 1465 01:10:14,677 --> 01:10:17,345 What makes you so sure that the money is ours, 1466 01:10:17,346 --> 01:10:18,747 instead of just being mine? 1467 01:10:18,748 --> 01:10:21,850 (LAUGHS) You're good, Love. Very good. 1468 01:10:21,851 --> 01:10:26,288 How'd you like to fill in for Professor Klump on a more permanent basis? 1469 01:10:26,289 --> 01:10:27,916 That's what l had in mind. 1470 01:10:28,424 --> 01:10:30,258 He talked to me first. 1471 01:10:30,259 --> 01:10:32,461 Hey, l'm the one with the gluteus minimus. 1472 01:10:32,462 --> 01:10:35,464 Will you guys just chill? He said he could handle all three of us. 1473 01:10:35,465 --> 01:10:37,956 With a name like Buddy Love, l bet he can. 1474 01:10:40,803 --> 01:10:43,568 Carla, are you ready to go upstairs? 1475 01:10:45,308 --> 01:10:47,309 l guess not. 1476 01:10:47,310 --> 01:10:49,744 Hey... Where you going? What's your problem? 1477 01:10:49,745 --> 01:10:53,248 They're my problem, and you can handle all three of them, huh? 1478 01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:56,485 Oh, well, l thought after dinner you might want to have a little group activity. 1479 01:10:56,486 --> 01:10:59,521 After all, Buddy does have a lot of love to give. 1480 01:10:59,522 --> 01:11:03,024 Oh, you are one sick, twisted freak! 1481 01:11:03,025 --> 01:11:05,627 Oh, come on, Carla. What's the... Hey! 1482 01:11:05,628 --> 01:11:09,765 Go on, leave! There's more titties over here anyway! 1483 01:11:09,766 --> 01:11:11,533 Think l want them two titties. l have six titties. 1484 01:11:11,534 --> 01:11:14,736 l had two titties. Now l have six. That's multiplication. 1485 01:11:14,737 --> 01:11:16,068 (ALL LAUGHING) 1486 01:11:16,739 --> 01:11:21,042 (ON STEREO) Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh 1487 01:11:21,043 --> 01:11:22,577 Boys will be boys 1488 01:11:22,578 --> 01:11:23,678 (BUDDY CHEERING) Yeah! 1489 01:11:23,679 --> 01:11:26,815 Yeah! Yeah! 1490 01:11:26,816 --> 01:11:29,785 Oh, yeah! This is what l call burning calories! 1491 01:11:29,786 --> 01:11:32,053 Come on! Help me burn this stuff up! 1492 01:11:32,054 --> 01:11:33,886 (GUESTS WHOOPING) 1493 01:11:34,023 --> 01:11:36,591 Yeah! Hey, this is going down to Mr. Wilson downstairs! 1494 01:11:36,592 --> 01:11:40,495 (CHANTING) The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire 1495 01:11:40,496 --> 01:11:44,228 (ALL CHANTING) The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire 1496 01:11:44,367 --> 01:11:49,305 (WHOOPING) 1497 01:11:54,944 --> 01:11:56,002 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 1498 01:11:56,612 --> 01:11:57,875 Sherman? 1499 01:12:00,116 --> 01:12:02,209 (CANS CRUNCHING) 1500 01:12:06,589 --> 01:12:08,114 Sherman? 1501 01:12:08,324 --> 01:12:09,723 (CANS CLATTERING) 1502 01:12:11,928 --> 01:12:13,156 Sherman? 1503 01:12:15,565 --> 01:12:16,554 (MOANING) 1504 01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:20,135 (SNIFFING AND SMACKING LIPS) 1505 01:12:20,136 --> 01:12:21,399 CARLA: Sherman? 1506 01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:22,661 (CHUCKLING) 1507 01:12:24,006 --> 01:12:25,269 Sherman? 1508 01:12:27,843 --> 01:12:28,833 (GASPS) 1509 01:12:29,712 --> 01:12:31,203 (LOUD THUD) 1510 01:12:32,415 --> 01:12:35,509 Sherman, is that you? Are you all right? 1511 01:12:36,819 --> 01:12:38,853 Oh, hi, Carla. Hi. 1512 01:12:38,854 --> 01:12:40,186 (CHUCKLING) 1513 01:12:40,456 --> 01:12:42,057 Did you have a party last night? 1514 01:12:42,058 --> 01:12:43,692 Oh, no. My cleaning lady's... 1515 01:12:43,693 --> 01:12:46,595 Cleaning lady's sick, so l got to clean up myself. 1516 01:12:46,596 --> 01:12:48,463 l see. You sure she didn't die? 1517 01:12:48,464 --> 01:12:49,564 (LAUGHING) 1518 01:12:49,565 --> 01:12:50,931 (TOILET FLUSHING) 1519 01:12:51,567 --> 01:12:54,436 Oh. Look, l'm a little embarrassed about the way how my place is looking. 1520 01:12:54,437 --> 01:12:56,371 Why don't l clean up and get back at you later? 1521 01:12:56,372 --> 01:12:59,474 No, no, no. Sherman, l need to talk to you now. 1522 01:12:59,475 --> 01:13:00,909 lt's about Buddy. 1523 01:13:00,910 --> 01:13:02,143 He hasn't been misbehaving, has he? 1524 01:13:02,144 --> 01:13:05,376 He's an egotistical pig, and l wish l never met him. 1525 01:13:06,115 --> 01:13:08,583 But, Sherman, l owe you a very big apology. 1526 01:13:08,584 --> 01:13:10,385 You owe me an apology? Yes. 1527 01:13:10,386 --> 01:13:12,354 Last night l was only trying to help, 1528 01:13:12,355 --> 01:13:15,457 l insisted that Buddy Love speak to Harlan Hartley. 1529 01:13:15,458 --> 01:13:17,592 He took all the credit for your research. 1530 01:13:17,593 --> 01:13:18,893 Now Dean Richmond... 1531 01:13:18,894 --> 01:13:20,089 WOMAN: Where's Buddy? 1532 01:13:23,399 --> 01:13:24,866 Oh... Buddy came here? 1533 01:13:24,867 --> 01:13:26,234 (CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) No! 1534 01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:27,566 So what's this? 1535 01:13:27,870 --> 01:13:29,371 Are you guys... You guys share girls? 1536 01:13:29,372 --> 01:13:30,639 Oh, no, no, no, no. 1537 01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:31,706 l guess l was next on the list. 1538 01:13:31,707 --> 01:13:33,208 No, you don't understand. 1539 01:13:33,209 --> 01:13:36,678 l cannot believe l came over here feeling sorry for you. 1540 01:13:36,679 --> 01:13:38,680 Carla, will you please just listen to me? 1541 01:13:38,681 --> 01:13:40,282 l assure you it is not what it appears to be! 1542 01:13:40,283 --> 01:13:41,716 You're no better than he is! 1543 01:13:41,717 --> 01:13:45,654 You are just as sick as Buddy, and l don't wanna see you or him again! 1544 01:13:45,655 --> 01:13:49,291 Carla, please just listen. Carla! 1545 01:13:49,292 --> 01:13:52,557 "Eviction notice? Violation of noise ordinance?" 1546 01:13:52,695 --> 01:13:54,396 (CANS CLATTERING) 1547 01:13:54,397 --> 01:13:57,766 Professor, we have to get to the lab right away. 1548 01:13:57,767 --> 01:13:59,801 Whatever it is, is gonna have to wait until later. 1549 01:13:59,802 --> 01:14:03,602 No, that's the thing. There isn't gonna be a later. 1550 01:14:05,975 --> 01:14:08,276 JASON: Professor, what did you do last night? 1551 01:14:08,277 --> 01:14:12,480 Jason, l have such a bad hangover, l honestly do not remember. 1552 01:14:12,481 --> 01:14:15,517 Well, the good news is l'm not going to kill you, 1553 01:14:15,518 --> 01:14:17,185 not physically, anyway. 1554 01:14:17,186 --> 01:14:19,287 l am, however, going to kill you professionally. 1555 01:14:19,288 --> 01:14:21,256 You're not only fired from this institution, 1556 01:14:21,257 --> 01:14:22,824 but l'm going to make sure you never get hired 1557 01:14:22,825 --> 01:14:24,025 by any other college in the state, 1558 01:14:24,026 --> 01:14:26,795 the country, the world, maybe even the universe. 1559 01:14:26,796 --> 01:14:30,231 Unless, of course, they're looking for teachers on Planet Fat. 1560 01:14:30,232 --> 01:14:31,366 Oh, by the way, 1561 01:14:31,367 --> 01:14:34,135 Buddy Love is going to be using your invitation to the alumni ball, 1562 01:14:34,136 --> 01:14:36,738 so show a little school spirit and see that he gets it. 1563 01:14:36,739 --> 01:14:38,606 (SINGING) We're in the money 1564 01:14:38,607 --> 01:14:40,974 Put that food down! They ate yesterday! 1565 01:14:43,112 --> 01:14:47,148 ...really tight and say, "Yes, l can." 1566 01:14:47,149 --> 01:14:48,550 Say it again. 1567 01:14:48,551 --> 01:14:50,781 LANCE AND AUDIENCE: Yes, l can! 1568 01:14:56,459 --> 01:14:58,593 Hey, chunky drawers! Hey, tank ass! 1569 01:14:58,594 --> 01:15:01,496 What are you eating? Mu·in? Strudel? Put it down. Let me talk to you. 1570 01:15:01,497 --> 01:15:05,266 lf you're receiving this message, that means you went and plumped back up 1571 01:15:05,267 --> 01:15:08,803 to your usual, fat, sorry, stuff-my-face-till- l'm almost-dead self. 1572 01:15:08,804 --> 01:15:11,239 ls that what you did? Shame on you, Sherman! 1573 01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:14,542 Do you know what you did last night? You had the time of your life. 1574 01:15:14,543 --> 01:15:16,244 Do you know you can get arrested in ·· states 1575 01:15:16,245 --> 01:15:18,179 for the shit you did just last night? 1576 01:15:18,180 --> 01:15:19,546 (GIGGLING) 1577 01:15:20,216 --> 01:15:21,783 Oh, my goodness! 1578 01:15:21,784 --> 01:15:23,118 You know what you need to do? 1579 01:15:23,119 --> 01:15:24,753 You need to go down to the laboratory 1580 01:15:24,754 --> 01:15:26,755 and mix up another batch of this blue stuff. 1581 01:15:26,756 --> 01:15:29,724 Come on back to the party, Sherman, because Carla doesn't want you. 1582 01:15:29,725 --> 01:15:32,027 She wants me. Me, not you. 1583 01:15:32,028 --> 01:15:35,030 So come join me because you can't beat me. 1584 01:15:35,031 --> 01:15:38,733 You can't beat me. You can't beat me! 1585 01:15:38,734 --> 01:15:41,202 Yes, l can! 1586 01:15:41,203 --> 01:15:42,603 (BUDDY LAUGHS) Yes, l can. 1587 01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:49,611 Professor, l got your message. What's up? 1588 01:15:49,612 --> 01:15:52,280 l'm going to that alumni ball tonight, and l'm gonna reclaim my life. 1589 01:15:52,281 --> 01:15:54,949 Yes! l'm so glad to hear you say that. 1590 01:15:54,950 --> 01:15:56,851 Get things straight with Miss Purty, 1591 01:15:56,852 --> 01:15:58,420 and l'm gonna get that grant from Harlan Hartley. 1592 01:15:58,421 --> 01:15:59,687 Excellent. 1593 01:15:59,688 --> 01:16:03,284 Jason, we have seen the last of Buddy Love. 1594 01:16:09,098 --> 01:16:11,123 (BIG BAND PLAYS lN THE MOOD) 1595 01:16:21,110 --> 01:16:23,711 Horace, good to see you. The jitterbug contest just started. 1596 01:16:23,712 --> 01:16:25,914 l'm kidding, l'm kidding. Your table's upstairs. 1597 01:16:25,915 --> 01:16:27,916 That's anotherjoke. 1598 01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:30,819 When did you marry Sharon Stone? 1599 01:16:30,820 --> 01:16:33,555 Keep those legs crossed. 1600 01:16:33,556 --> 01:16:36,891 Hartley. Damn it. And where the hell is Buddy Love? 1601 01:16:36,892 --> 01:16:38,293 No sign of him yet, sir. 1602 01:16:38,294 --> 01:16:39,627 Here's an idea. 1603 01:16:39,628 --> 01:16:40,695 Find him! 1604 01:16:40,696 --> 01:16:42,030 Yes, sir. 1605 01:16:42,031 --> 01:16:43,598 Harlan. Well, Richmond. 1606 01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:44,999 Where's your Professor Buddy Love? 1607 01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:46,201 Oh, with you it's always business. 1608 01:16:46,202 --> 01:16:47,802 Let's get to know each other man-to-man. 1609 01:16:47,803 --> 01:16:49,070 Now, if our files are correct, 1610 01:16:49,071 --> 01:16:51,439 you and your fabulous wife have a terrific daughter. 1611 01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:53,708 l'm divorced, and my daughter is in rehab. 1612 01:16:53,709 --> 01:16:55,877 So you're saying our files are not correct. 1613 01:16:55,878 --> 01:16:57,846 Listen, you pompous butt-kisser. 1614 01:16:57,847 --> 01:17:00,215 l have a check in my pocket for $10 million. 1615 01:17:00,216 --> 01:17:03,117 Your Buddy Love has till midnight to prove that formula works. 1616 01:17:03,118 --> 01:17:05,653 He'll be here, the formula works, and you have the check. 1617 01:17:05,654 --> 01:17:08,089 Really? On you now? Because on behalf of... Which pocket? 1618 01:17:08,090 --> 01:17:11,059 No, don't tell me. Let me smell it. Punch? 1619 01:17:11,060 --> 01:17:13,228 Oh, come on, now. Look at this. 1620 01:17:13,229 --> 01:17:15,430 l can't eat this. This stuff is too tiny. 1621 01:17:15,431 --> 01:17:16,931 l can't get full off this mess! 1622 01:17:16,932 --> 01:17:19,601 l think it's wonderful, all the precious little finger foods. 1623 01:17:19,602 --> 01:17:21,202 Finger food? l got a finger for them. 1624 01:17:21,203 --> 01:17:23,004 l ain't paid no $100 ticket for no finger food. 1625 01:17:23,005 --> 01:17:25,473 l could go down to Subway, get me a sandwich for $3. 1626 01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:27,876 l gotta pay a $100 ticket for finger food? 1627 01:17:27,877 --> 01:17:29,677 You must be crazy to think l'm gonna eat this... 1628 01:17:29,678 --> 01:17:30,912 You're getting on my damn nerves! 1629 01:17:30,913 --> 01:17:32,113 Shut up! l'm hungry! 1630 01:17:32,114 --> 01:17:35,083 There's Carla. l wonder if she's seen Sherman. Carla! 1631 01:17:35,084 --> 01:17:36,552 Carla. Oh. 1632 01:17:37,319 --> 01:17:38,685 (LAUGHING) 1633 01:17:40,289 --> 01:17:42,824 (LAUGHING) Oh, you look fabulous. 1634 01:17:42,825 --> 01:17:44,325 Thank you, Mrs. Klump. 1635 01:17:44,326 --> 01:17:45,693 Have you seen Sherman? 1636 01:17:45,694 --> 01:17:46,828 Yeah, where's Sherman at? 1637 01:17:46,829 --> 01:17:48,830 l ain't come to pay no $100 ticket to suffer this alone. 1638 01:17:48,831 --> 01:17:50,064 Cletus, shut up, please! 1639 01:17:50,065 --> 01:17:52,500 Hey! That's strike two. 1640 01:17:53,235 --> 01:17:55,170 l don't think Sherman will be coming tonight. 1641 01:17:55,171 --> 01:17:57,572 Yes, he is. Sherman called me and told me make sure we was here. 1642 01:17:57,573 --> 01:17:59,374 He got a big announcement to make. 1643 01:17:59,375 --> 01:18:01,609 Something about getting it all off his chest. 1644 01:18:01,610 --> 01:18:04,379 Have you noticed that Sherman's been acting kind of strange lately? 1645 01:18:04,380 --> 01:18:07,215 Sherman has definitely been acting strange lately. 1646 01:18:07,216 --> 01:18:09,250 l knew it! See, Cletus? l told you. 1647 01:18:09,251 --> 01:18:12,787 You really think l be listening to you. l ain't listening to you! 1648 01:18:12,788 --> 01:18:14,689 Well, Mrs. Klump, l hope you have a wonderful evening. 1649 01:18:14,690 --> 01:18:18,293 Oh, you do the same. Thank you so much. So precious. 1650 01:18:18,294 --> 01:18:19,527 Look at your little purple dress. 1651 01:18:19,528 --> 01:18:21,462 They gonna think we twins. 1652 01:18:21,463 --> 01:18:22,697 (CHUCKLING) Mr. Klump. 1653 01:18:22,698 --> 01:18:23,932 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1654 01:18:23,933 --> 01:18:26,000 Fabulous. 1655 01:18:26,001 --> 01:18:28,803 You know, Cletus, l think something's going on between her and Sherman. 1656 01:18:28,804 --> 01:18:31,439 You don't go get up in Sherman's business. That's Sherman's business. 1657 01:18:31,440 --> 01:18:33,908 Sherman's business? That's my business. Sherman is my baby. 1658 01:18:33,909 --> 01:18:36,344 Sherman's 35 years old! What you talking about he's your baby? 1659 01:18:36,345 --> 01:18:37,979 l don't wanna hear it. Shut up, please! 1660 01:18:37,980 --> 01:18:39,581 Carla! That's strike three, damn it! 1661 01:18:39,582 --> 01:18:41,716 Don't you walk away from me, God damn it! 1662 01:18:41,717 --> 01:18:43,184 (MUTTERING) 1663 01:18:43,185 --> 01:18:44,719 Hey, this is the last of it, Professor. 1664 01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:46,421 l'll tell you this, Jason. 1665 01:18:46,422 --> 01:18:49,490 lf l'm gonna change my life, it's not gonna come from some magic drink. 1666 01:18:49,491 --> 01:18:53,724 Gotta come from a lot of hard work and exercise and plenty of these. 1667 01:18:53,896 --> 01:18:56,490 Good bye, Buddy Love. Hello, Megashake. 1668 01:18:58,500 --> 01:18:59,490 (GULPING) 1669 01:19:03,239 --> 01:19:04,604 (SCREAMING) 1670 01:19:05,341 --> 01:19:06,706 Professor? 1671 01:19:09,845 --> 01:19:11,145 Oh! 1672 01:19:11,146 --> 01:19:14,315 l lost 300 pounds in 30 seconds! 1673 01:19:14,316 --> 01:19:15,617 Thanks, Megashake! 1674 01:19:15,618 --> 01:19:17,352 You tricked him! 1675 01:19:17,353 --> 01:19:18,753 You damn right, hamster boy. 1676 01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:20,121 l knew Sherman was gonna go soft on me. 1677 01:19:20,122 --> 01:19:22,090 That can wreak havoc on a man's sex life. 1678 01:19:22,258 --> 01:19:23,825 (LAUGHING) 1679 01:19:23,826 --> 01:19:25,426 See, l've done some calculations of my own. 1680 01:19:25,427 --> 01:19:27,161 lf l drink 500 milliliters of formula, 1681 01:19:27,162 --> 01:19:28,429 l'll have enough cellular stability 1682 01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:29,697 to be rid of Sherman's ass forever! 1683 01:19:29,698 --> 01:19:32,266 You drink that much formula at one time and it will kill you! 1684 01:19:32,267 --> 01:19:33,601 lf l drink it all at once, yes. 1685 01:19:33,602 --> 01:19:35,737 lf l drink half now and half later, that's safe. 1686 01:19:35,738 --> 01:19:37,939 At midnight, l don't have to worry about turning into no Klumpkin. 1687 01:19:37,940 --> 01:19:40,241 lf you don't mind, l have a date at the alumni ball, 1688 01:19:40,242 --> 01:19:41,676 and you have a date with linoleum. 1689 01:19:41,677 --> 01:19:43,145 Who? 1690 01:19:44,313 --> 01:19:45,746 (MAMA KLUMP LAUGHS) 1691 01:19:48,517 --> 01:19:51,986 No, no, no, child. Not a wild party. Not Sherman. 1692 01:19:51,987 --> 01:19:54,055 He's too shy for something like that. He hates parties. 1693 01:19:54,056 --> 01:19:57,458 ln fact, we tried to have a party for Sherman when he was 1·-years-old 1694 01:19:57,459 --> 01:20:00,662 and he's so shy, he didn't even show up. 1695 01:20:00,663 --> 01:20:03,097 Well, l must admit, it didn't seem like the Sherman l knew. 1696 01:20:03,098 --> 01:20:04,265 Oh, no, not my baby. 1697 01:20:04,266 --> 01:20:05,767 Maybe he loaned his house out to somebody 1698 01:20:05,768 --> 01:20:07,268 or one of his buddies was throwing a party. 1699 01:20:07,269 --> 01:20:08,503 BUDDY: Yeah! 1700 01:20:08,504 --> 01:20:11,472 ls that a test tube in my pocket? Or am l just happy to see you? 1701 01:20:11,473 --> 01:20:13,508 Oh! How dare you? Oh, you know you loved it. 1702 01:20:13,509 --> 01:20:14,776 l felt you percolating. 1703 01:20:14,777 --> 01:20:16,177 (GASPS) Whoo! 1704 01:20:16,178 --> 01:20:18,179 Hey, thanks a lot, man. Thank you so much. 1705 01:20:18,180 --> 01:20:20,548 Oh! What you serving here? 1706 01:20:20,549 --> 01:20:23,284 This stuff is... Y'all got to get some collard greens and yams! 1707 01:20:23,285 --> 01:20:24,485 Some red beans and rice! 1708 01:20:24,486 --> 01:20:25,620 Some "Buddy" is right. 1709 01:20:25,621 --> 01:20:27,088 This ain't no party! RICHMOND: Dr. Love! 1710 01:20:27,089 --> 01:20:28,323 This ain't no ball! 1711 01:20:28,324 --> 01:20:30,224 Y'all gotta get y'all some peach cobbler up in here! 1712 01:20:30,225 --> 01:20:33,528 Professor Love! Where the hell have you been? 1713 01:20:33,529 --> 01:20:35,329 l've been nursemaiding Hartley for three hours, 1714 01:20:35,330 --> 01:20:36,798 and if l didn't need that money... 1715 01:20:36,799 --> 01:20:37,965 Shut up! 1716 01:20:37,966 --> 01:20:39,734 Who you think you're talking to, Sherman Klump? 1717 01:20:39,735 --> 01:20:41,836 Man, if you ever talk to me like that again, l'll kill you! 1718 01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:44,505 l don't mean that as a euphemism. l mean, l'm gonna literally kill you. 1719 01:20:44,506 --> 01:20:48,841 l'm gonna strangle you and cut off your air supply until you pass away! 1720 01:20:49,578 --> 01:20:52,046 BUDDY: Now find the rich dummy a seat. lt's show time. 1721 01:20:52,047 --> 01:20:54,015 lt's show time, everybody! 1722 01:20:54,016 --> 01:20:55,711 Show time! 1723 01:20:55,918 --> 01:20:57,909 (BUDDY CACKLING) 1724 01:20:58,654 --> 01:20:59,754 (JASON GROANING) 1725 01:20:59,755 --> 01:21:01,587 (BEEPING) 1726 01:21:08,430 --> 01:21:10,364 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 1727 01:21:18,707 --> 01:21:20,141 BUDDY: That's enough out of you! That's it. 1728 01:21:20,142 --> 01:21:21,442 You're the reason everybody falling asleep. 1729 01:21:21,443 --> 01:21:22,777 Take a break, Nigger-ace. 1730 01:21:22,778 --> 01:21:25,046 Take the Everly Brothers with you. Get out of here! 1731 01:21:25,047 --> 01:21:28,750 Look at everybody sleeping because of y'all! lt's show time! 1732 01:21:28,751 --> 01:21:32,053 Now why are y'all looking at me like y'all don't know me? 1733 01:21:32,054 --> 01:21:33,554 Y'all know me! 1734 01:21:33,555 --> 01:21:35,423 l don't know that fool. 1735 01:21:35,424 --> 01:21:37,892 How about now? You recognize me? 1736 01:21:37,893 --> 01:21:39,127 l don't know that fool. 1737 01:21:39,128 --> 01:21:40,428 Maybe it's because 1738 01:21:40,429 --> 01:21:44,195 this morning, l weighed 400 pounds! 1739 01:21:44,666 --> 01:21:46,794 You should've seen me. Look at me now. 1740 01:21:46,969 --> 01:21:49,570 You know how l did it? One sip. 1741 01:21:49,571 --> 01:21:51,806 l know why he like that, 'cause he drunk. 1742 01:21:51,807 --> 01:21:54,208 Be quiet! Don't tell me to be quiet! He drunk! 1743 01:21:54,209 --> 01:21:57,145 l like to call it "Buddy's Wonder Tonic." 1744 01:21:57,146 --> 01:21:58,713 l know what wonder tonic you had. 1745 01:21:58,714 --> 01:21:59,814 (WATCH ALARM BEEPING) 1746 01:21:59,815 --> 01:22:01,783 Right on schedule. 1747 01:22:01,784 --> 01:22:05,753 Cellular destabilization due to arrive in exactly three, 1748 01:22:05,754 --> 01:22:06,821 (BEEPING) 1749 01:22:06,822 --> 01:22:09,348 two, one... 1750 01:22:09,491 --> 01:22:11,084 (SLOSHING) 1751 01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:12,727 Ain't that a bitch! 1752 01:22:12,728 --> 01:22:13,828 What the hell? My goodness! 1753 01:22:13,829 --> 01:22:15,663 Hey, moneybags, you want a demonstration? 1754 01:22:15,664 --> 01:22:18,395 Well, then feast your eyes on this. 1755 01:22:21,203 --> 01:22:22,796 (SLOSHING) 1756 01:22:25,407 --> 01:22:26,707 That's a hell of a trick. 1757 01:22:26,708 --> 01:22:28,009 (BEEPING) 1758 01:22:28,010 --> 01:22:30,311 Ladies and gentlemen, for my final demonstration... 1759 01:22:30,312 --> 01:22:34,772 Look out, David Copperfield. l'm about to make a 400-pound fat man 1760 01:22:35,184 --> 01:22:36,784 disappear forever! 1761 01:22:36,785 --> 01:22:40,016 No! Wait! 1762 01:22:40,589 --> 01:22:44,492 l cannot let you do this anymore! 1763 01:22:44,493 --> 01:22:47,155 This has got to stop! 1764 01:22:48,831 --> 01:22:52,233 This man is trying to kill Professor Sherman Klump! 1765 01:22:52,234 --> 01:22:54,168 That's it. l'm glad l brought my knife. 1766 01:22:54,169 --> 01:22:55,770 Mmm-hmm. And l got my razor. 1767 01:22:55,771 --> 01:22:57,104 Hand over the vial now! 1768 01:22:57,105 --> 01:22:58,506 Oh, sure thing, hamster boy. 1769 01:22:58,507 --> 01:23:00,999 But first, a short musical interlude. 1770 01:23:01,844 --> 01:23:02,833 (GASPING) 1771 01:23:04,079 --> 01:23:05,146 Buddy! 1772 01:23:05,147 --> 01:23:07,782 What has gotten into you, and where is Sherman? 1773 01:23:07,783 --> 01:23:09,417 Sherman is gone! Disappeared! 1774 01:23:09,418 --> 01:23:11,052 (MUTTERING) What the hell... 1775 01:23:11,053 --> 01:23:14,021 And that's a pretty good trick for a man with an ass as big as his. 1776 01:23:14,022 --> 01:23:15,122 (BEEPING) 1777 01:23:15,123 --> 01:23:16,657 Oh! l'm late for an appointment. 1778 01:23:16,658 --> 01:23:19,787 Ladies and gentlemen, say goodbye to Sherman Klump! 1779 01:23:20,229 --> 01:23:22,630 l hate being called hamster boy. 1780 01:23:22,631 --> 01:23:23,928 (GUESTS GASPING) 1781 01:23:25,467 --> 01:23:27,936 You just don't know when to quit, do you? 1782 01:23:28,704 --> 01:23:30,228 (GUESTS GASPING) 1783 01:23:31,607 --> 01:23:33,768 (GRUNTING) 1784 01:23:34,509 --> 01:23:36,740 lt's too late, fat boy. lt's over! 1785 01:23:37,913 --> 01:23:39,540 (STRAINING) Let go! Let go! 1786 01:23:42,150 --> 01:23:43,351 My goodness! Damn! 1787 01:23:43,352 --> 01:23:46,621 (GRUNTING AND GAGGING) Give it up, fat boy! lt's over! 1788 01:23:46,622 --> 01:23:49,190 (lN PROFESSOR'S VOICE) lt ain't over till the fat professor sings! 1789 01:23:49,191 --> 01:23:50,291 (SHRIEKING) 1790 01:23:50,292 --> 01:23:53,060 Let go of my hand, you fat mother... 1791 01:23:53,061 --> 01:23:55,860 Say one more word, Buddy, l'll tear your arm off! 1792 01:23:56,565 --> 01:24:01,662 lt's time we take Nestea... Plunge! 1793 01:24:03,372 --> 01:24:04,999 (GRUNTING) 1794 01:24:05,440 --> 01:24:06,574 (SOBBING) 1795 01:24:06,575 --> 01:24:09,601 Gonna get the hell out of here in a second. lt's okay. 1796 01:24:13,315 --> 01:24:14,840 (GRUNTING) 1797 01:24:17,052 --> 01:24:18,247 Sweet Jesus! 1798 01:24:18,420 --> 01:24:19,487 Sherman! 1799 01:24:19,488 --> 01:24:22,981 Sherman, don't do this! You need me! 1800 01:24:24,459 --> 01:24:27,292 No, l don't! 1801 01:24:27,629 --> 01:24:29,598 You fat ass! 1802 01:24:30,032 --> 01:24:31,999 Tinkerbell! 1803 01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:33,024 Blubber butt! 1804 01:24:33,802 --> 01:24:35,169 Featherweight! 1805 01:24:35,170 --> 01:24:37,639 Somebody better call an exorcist! 1806 01:24:38,240 --> 01:24:43,077 Sherman! Sherman! You can't beat me! 1807 01:24:43,078 --> 01:24:44,807 This is some scary shit! 1808 01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:46,946 (GRUNTING) 1809 01:24:49,418 --> 01:24:53,013 Yes, l can! 1810 01:24:53,355 --> 01:24:55,517 (ALARM BEEPING) 1811 01:24:58,226 --> 01:24:59,994 Sherman, come back here! Sherman! 1812 01:24:59,995 --> 01:25:01,195 What's happening to me? 1813 01:25:01,196 --> 01:25:05,499 Everything's getting real dark! Oh! l feel real jiggly! 1814 01:25:05,500 --> 01:25:07,935 (PANTING) l'm blubbifying! Sherman! 1815 01:25:07,936 --> 01:25:12,506 You need me! l taught you to be confident! You needed me, Sherman! 1816 01:25:12,507 --> 01:25:15,242 Sherman! No matter what! 1817 01:25:15,243 --> 01:25:20,204 No matter what, you got to strut. 1818 01:25:21,717 --> 01:25:22,950 (CROWD GASPS) 1819 01:25:22,951 --> 01:25:24,146 (SIGHS) 1820 01:25:26,621 --> 01:25:28,055 (CROWD MOANING) 1821 01:25:30,258 --> 01:25:33,751 l ain't gonna be picking up your big ass all night, Anna. Shit. 1822 01:25:38,900 --> 01:25:39,890 (GASPS) 1823 01:25:41,503 --> 01:25:42,570 Oh, my God. 1824 01:25:42,571 --> 01:25:43,868 Well, l'll be damned. 1825 01:25:54,616 --> 01:25:55,606 (EXHALES) 1826 01:25:56,184 --> 01:25:59,711 lf you give me a moment, l believe l can try to explain. 1827 01:26:02,591 --> 01:26:04,892 My research is... 1828 01:26:04,893 --> 01:26:08,229 Well, when l started out l... 1829 01:26:08,230 --> 01:26:10,596 l wanted to help people. 1830 01:26:11,099 --> 01:26:13,591 But l became desperate and selfish. 1831 01:26:15,570 --> 01:26:17,368 What l did was wrong. 1832 01:26:21,043 --> 01:26:24,478 Buddy's who l thought the whole world wanted me to be. 1833 01:26:24,479 --> 01:26:26,948 He's who l thought l wanted to be. 1834 01:26:28,450 --> 01:26:32,586 And sometimes when you want something so, so bad, 1835 01:26:32,587 --> 01:26:35,182 you do just about anything to get it. 1836 01:26:40,462 --> 01:26:43,597 But l learned one thing from Buddy. 1837 01:26:43,598 --> 01:26:46,434 l learned that life is not about 1838 01:26:46,435 --> 01:26:48,769 being happy about how much you weigh, 1839 01:26:48,770 --> 01:26:51,171 but just being happy with yourself. 1840 01:26:54,109 --> 01:26:55,543 l'm terribly sorry about all this. 1841 01:26:55,544 --> 01:26:58,279 l hope l haven't ruined everybody's evening. 1842 01:26:58,280 --> 01:26:59,941 Please excuse me. 1843 01:27:01,049 --> 01:27:02,380 (WHISPERING) l'm sorry. 1844 01:27:18,100 --> 01:27:20,634 Sherman! 1845 01:27:20,635 --> 01:27:22,703 Sherman! 1846 01:27:22,704 --> 01:27:24,604 Sherman, wait a minute. 1847 01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:30,945 Sherman, why did you lie to me? 1848 01:27:30,946 --> 01:27:33,714 Why didn't you say anything? 1849 01:27:33,715 --> 01:27:36,350 l didn't think you'd have me. 1850 01:27:36,351 --> 01:27:39,082 l mean, the fact of the matter is l'm a big man. 1851 01:27:39,488 --> 01:27:43,657 Now, l will lose weight, but l'm always gonna be big no matter what l do. 1852 01:27:43,658 --> 01:27:48,255 So, anybody l wind up with is just going to have to accept me for who l am. 1853 01:27:48,930 --> 01:27:53,663 And more important, l'm just going to have to accept myself for who l am. 1854 01:27:56,004 --> 01:27:57,938 Sherman, 1855 01:27:58,340 --> 01:28:00,467 l don't have a date tonight. 1856 01:28:03,478 --> 01:28:05,811 Would you like to dance with me? 1857 01:28:09,818 --> 01:28:11,385 (SOFT CHUCKLE) 1858 01:28:11,386 --> 01:28:12,581 JASON: Professor, 1859 01:28:13,989 --> 01:28:16,219 l thought you might need this. 1860 01:28:16,825 --> 01:28:17,815 (CHUCKLES) 1861 01:28:19,561 --> 01:28:22,363 (CHUCKLING) Yeah, l guess l tore this one up, huh? 1862 01:28:22,364 --> 01:28:23,593 (LAUGHING) 1863 01:28:36,111 --> 01:28:38,812 You know one thing l couldn't stand about that Buddy? 1864 01:28:38,813 --> 01:28:41,182 What's that? He was too damn scrawny. 1865 01:28:41,183 --> 01:28:42,483 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 1866 01:28:42,484 --> 01:28:45,647 Okay, Professor! Looking good! 1867 01:28:46,688 --> 01:28:49,924 Have l mentioned we also have a terrific English Department? 1868 01:28:49,925 --> 01:28:51,959 l'm giving him the grant. What? 1869 01:28:51,960 --> 01:28:54,195 l hate to admit it, but you're absolutely right. 1870 01:28:54,196 --> 01:28:57,965 He's a brilliant scientist and a gentleman as well. 1871 01:28:57,966 --> 01:28:59,700 Well, l told you! 1872 01:28:59,701 --> 01:29:00,835 HARTLEY: Will you shut up! 1873 01:29:00,836 --> 01:29:02,235 l'm fine with that. 1874 01:29:05,340 --> 01:29:10,444 Oh, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman! 1875 01:29:10,445 --> 01:29:13,414 (LAUGHING) Light as a feather tonight. Come on, bump me. 1876 01:29:13,415 --> 01:29:14,782 Yeah! 1877 01:29:14,783 --> 01:29:15,883 (GASPS) 1878 01:29:15,884 --> 01:29:19,343 Oh, oh, my goodness! l'm so sorry. l'm sorry. 1879 01:29:19,654 --> 01:29:21,121 You didn't hurt yourself, did you? 1880 01:29:21,122 --> 01:29:22,590 (CHUCKLES) l'm fine. 1881 01:29:22,591 --> 01:29:24,320 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1882 01:29:26,895 --> 01:29:28,062 Yeah! 1883 01:29:28,063 --> 01:29:29,587 Fabulous! 1884 01:29:35,570 --> 01:29:37,504 (MACHO MAN PLAYING) 1885 01:29:39,407 --> 01:29:42,076 (FARTING) Oh, my Lord! 1886 01:29:42,077 --> 01:29:43,977 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1887 01:29:45,580 --> 01:29:48,015 (LAUGHING) Don't start. Do it again. 1888 01:29:48,016 --> 01:29:51,352 Go on, fart! l hope your asshole fall out... 1889 01:29:51,353 --> 01:29:52,877 (LAUGHING) 1890 01:29:53,755 --> 01:29:57,291 l thought it just was... l thought a colonic was a massage. 1891 01:29:57,292 --> 01:29:58,592 (LAUGHING) 1892 01:29:58,593 --> 01:30:00,186 (CREW LAUGHING) 1893 01:30:01,096 --> 01:30:03,664 For only research, and... 1894 01:30:03,665 --> 01:30:04,765 (LAUGHING) 1895 01:30:04,766 --> 01:30:08,135 (CREW LAUGHING) What? What film is this? 1896 01:30:08,136 --> 01:30:09,303 Your research. 1897 01:30:09,304 --> 01:30:10,704 Get back in there! 1898 01:30:10,705 --> 01:30:14,575 (LAUGHING) We ain't ready for you yet. Now what were you saying? 1899 01:30:14,576 --> 01:30:16,043 Hold on a minute. Let me go deal with my girl. 1900 01:30:16,044 --> 01:30:17,778 What's wrong with y'all? 1901 01:30:17,779 --> 01:30:20,114 Professor Klump, the cages, what happened? 1902 01:30:20,115 --> 01:30:22,549 They can't see me with your head there. 1903 01:30:22,550 --> 01:30:23,918 (CREW LAUGHING) 1904 01:30:23,919 --> 01:30:26,752 l made a fart last week. 1905 01:30:26,955 --> 01:30:30,090 lt smelled so bad it had a chain hanging from it. 1906 01:30:30,091 --> 01:30:31,158 (LAUGHING) 1907 01:30:31,159 --> 01:30:33,059 (CREW LAUGHING) 1908 01:30:38,900 --> 01:30:41,201 (MUFFLED) l can't talk. 1909 01:30:41,202 --> 01:30:42,795 (CREW LAUGHING) 1910 01:30:44,940 --> 01:30:46,498 (CREW LAUGHING) 1911 01:30:48,877 --> 01:30:51,745 l seen Sherman get so hungry once when he was young, 1912 01:30:51,746 --> 01:30:53,914 he beat up a grown man. 1913 01:30:53,915 --> 01:30:55,576 (CREW LAUGHING) 1914 01:30:56,251 --> 01:30:57,685 l'm sorry. 1915 01:30:57,686 --> 01:30:59,085 (LAUGHING) 1916 01:31:00,488 --> 01:31:04,725 l'm freaking out over here 'cause Eddie's over here saying some wild crap. 1917 01:31:04,726 --> 01:31:05,926 Do you... 1918 01:31:05,927 --> 01:31:07,258 (LAUGHING) 1919 01:31:08,330 --> 01:31:09,396 (FARTING) 1920 01:31:09,397 --> 01:31:11,532 (LAUGHING) Oh! You're supposed to say, "Excuse me." 1921 01:31:11,533 --> 01:31:12,599 (FARTING) 1922 01:31:12,600 --> 01:31:16,036 Oh! Oh, baby, you... 1923 01:31:16,037 --> 01:31:17,368 (LAUGHING) 1924 01:31:18,273 --> 01:31:22,509 (LAUGHING) Hey, little Hercules, you want some more coleslaw? 1925 01:31:22,510 --> 01:31:24,035 (CREW LAUGHING) 1926 01:31:25,613 --> 01:31:28,382 Come on, Cletus. Come on. No (BEEP) it... Come on. 1927 01:31:28,383 --> 01:31:31,752 Come on, Cletus. Come on. Come on, Cletus. 1928 01:31:31,753 --> 01:31:34,588 Come on. Come on, Cletus! 1929 01:31:34,589 --> 01:31:35,856 (CREW LAUGHING) 1930 01:31:35,857 --> 01:31:39,193 Come on! Come on, Cletus. No. 1931 01:31:39,194 --> 01:31:42,062 Come on, come on. No (BEEP) it... Come on. 1932 01:31:42,063 --> 01:31:45,532 Come on, come on, come on, let's do this. 1933 01:31:45,533 --> 01:31:46,800 Let's do this! 1934 01:31:46,801 --> 01:31:48,133 (LAUGHING) 1935 01:31:51,373 --> 01:31:54,308 Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah Hey, hey 1936 01:31:54,309 --> 01:31:56,577 Ooo 1937 01:31:56,578 --> 01:31:57,911 Oh 1938 01:31:57,912 --> 01:32:00,438 Yeah, hey, hey, yeah 1939 01:32:03,418 --> 01:32:07,184 Boy, you got a lot to learn about love 1940 01:32:08,390 --> 01:32:13,394 You just gotta get down with the right equation 1941 01:32:13,395 --> 01:32:16,930 Put down that book and see what you're missing 1942 01:32:16,931 --> 01:32:18,298 Missing 1943 01:32:18,299 --> 01:32:20,033 Come and get your A 1944 01:32:20,034 --> 01:32:21,635 Come and get it, come and get it 1945 01:32:21,636 --> 01:32:23,170 Come and get it, come and get it, come and get it 1946 01:32:23,171 --> 01:32:24,271 Ooo 1947 01:32:24,272 --> 01:32:25,706 Homework 1948 01:32:25,707 --> 01:32:27,775 Something that you got to do 1949 01:32:27,776 --> 01:32:30,644 lt's a school rule 1950 01:32:30,645 --> 01:32:33,881 And you know you got to go through 1951 01:32:33,882 --> 01:32:39,153 First grade before you get to graduation 1952 01:32:39,154 --> 01:32:40,654 Homework 1953 01:32:40,655 --> 01:32:44,158 Welcome to your education 1954 01:32:44,159 --> 01:32:45,592 Homework 1955 01:32:45,593 --> 01:32:48,862 Learn a little every day 1956 01:32:48,863 --> 01:32:50,397 Homework 1957 01:32:50,398 --> 01:32:52,867 Know a little every day 1958 01:33:03,044 --> 01:33:04,812 Another Friday night 1959 01:33:04,813 --> 01:33:07,114 Another honey sitting in my ride 1960 01:33:07,115 --> 01:33:09,883 Another lyrical favor from your sexy neighbor 1961 01:33:09,884 --> 01:33:12,319 Make you wave your hands from side to side 1962 01:33:12,320 --> 01:33:14,121 ln '95 we did it 1963 01:33:14,122 --> 01:33:16,723 But this year l bring a new twist 1964 01:33:16,724 --> 01:33:19,693 You see, l'm hear to announce this song of a bounce 1965 01:33:19,694 --> 01:33:22,763 So everybody bounce 2 this 1966 01:33:22,764 --> 01:33:24,698 lt's so right lt's so right 1967 01:33:24,699 --> 01:33:26,300 lt's so nice 1968 01:33:26,301 --> 01:33:29,636 l tell you, it'll make you wanna bounce 2 this 1969 01:33:29,637 --> 01:33:31,472 Bounce 2 this, bounce 2 this 1970 01:33:31,473 --> 01:33:33,073 Yeah, it's so right 1971 01:33:33,074 --> 01:33:34,842 lt's so nice lt's so nice 1972 01:33:34,843 --> 01:33:36,009 lt's so nice 1973 01:33:36,010 --> 01:33:39,079 l tell you it'll make you wanna bounce 2 this 1974 01:33:39,080 --> 01:33:41,048 Bounce 2 this, bounce 2 this 1975 01:33:41,049 --> 01:33:42,716 Yeah, it's so right 1976 01:33:42,717 --> 01:33:44,118 Bounce 2 this, bounce 2 this 1977 01:33:44,119 --> 01:33:45,586 Come on, baby 1978 01:33:45,587 --> 01:33:48,388 New York, bounce 2 this 1979 01:33:48,389 --> 01:33:49,490 Come on, now 1980 01:33:49,491 --> 01:33:50,858 Yeah, bounce 2 this 1981 01:33:50,859 --> 01:33:52,926 Atlanta, bounce 2 this Yeah 1982 01:33:52,927 --> 01:33:55,195 Come on, baby, bounce 2 this 1983 01:33:55,196 --> 01:33:57,030 D.C with a go-go 1984 01:33:57,031 --> 01:33:58,332 Bounce 2 this 1985 01:33:58,333 --> 01:34:00,033 You know l mean it Bounce 2 this 1986 01:34:00,034 --> 01:34:01,335 lt's all right 1987 01:34:01,336 --> 01:34:04,838 l been to parties across the USA 1988 01:34:04,839 --> 01:34:09,643 l've been to other countries and l made those people say 1989 01:34:09,644 --> 01:34:14,448 For dinner, oh, my cup is finally low 1990 01:34:14,449 --> 01:34:17,584 So pass the yellow Z and hold on now 1991 01:34:17,585 --> 01:34:20,020 Ladies, help me sing it 1992 01:34:20,021 --> 01:34:24,024 WOMEN: l wanna party across the USA 1993 01:34:24,025 --> 01:34:25,359 You go, sugar 1994 01:34:25,360 --> 01:34:28,896 l've been to other countries and l heard those people say 1995 01:34:28,897 --> 01:34:31,665 For dinner 1996 01:34:31,666 --> 01:34:34,001 My cup was running low 1997 01:34:34,002 --> 01:34:36,803 Now pass the yellow Z and let the music play 1998 01:34:36,804 --> 01:34:39,573 And act like you know it's all right 1999 01:34:39,574 --> 01:34:40,707 lt's all right 2000 01:34:40,708 --> 01:34:42,109 lt's so nice 2001 01:34:42,110 --> 01:34:43,277 lt's so nice 2002 01:34:43,278 --> 01:34:46,413 And l'll make you wanna bounce 2 this 2003 01:34:46,414 --> 01:34:48,282 Bounce 2 this, bounce 2 this 2004 01:34:48,283 --> 01:34:49,383 l can tell 2005 01:34:49,384 --> 01:34:50,484 lt's so nice 2006 01:34:50,485 --> 01:34:51,785 You wanna boogie 2007 01:34:51,786 --> 01:34:52,853 lt's so nice 2008 01:34:52,854 --> 01:34:58,091 l can tell you wanna boogie, baby 2009 01:34:58,092 --> 01:34:59,226 With Montell you wanna boogie 2010 01:34:59,227 --> 01:35:00,217 lt's so nice 147600

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