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2
00:00:18,624 --> 00:00:21,842
This has got
to be a dream.
3
00:00:27,934 --> 00:00:34,074
Stuff like this just does
not happen in my life.
4
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:37,779
I mean, look at her.
5
00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:39,682
She is beautiful.
6
00:00:39,683 --> 00:00:40,883
Adam!
7
00:00:40,884 --> 00:00:43,269
And she just said my name.
8
00:00:45,689 --> 00:00:48,406
My God, she's like an animal.
9
00:00:55,901 --> 00:00:57,583
That's disgusting.
10
00:00:59,573 --> 00:01:01,205
It's like the fourth time...
11
00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:04,309
that this has happened this month!
Lucy, please get off me.
12
00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:08,715
Oh, come here
you dirty whore.
13
00:01:08,716 --> 00:01:11,484
Adam, get out of bed,
lazy man!
14
00:01:11,485 --> 00:01:13,587
Will you just tell her
I can't come down...
15
00:01:13,588 --> 00:01:15,055
I'm sick. I don't feel well.
16
00:01:15,056 --> 00:01:16,357
You don't look sick.
17
00:01:16,358 --> 00:01:20,228
My hands are all cold and clammy.
18
00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:24,800
You totally stole that trick
from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
19
00:01:24,801 --> 00:01:26,312
Busted.
20
00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:29,573
Come on, Adam,
this is your big day.
21
00:01:29,574 --> 00:01:32,042
Senior Skip Day,
it's a rite of passage.
22
00:01:32,043 --> 00:01:34,444
It's like the best thing
about being a senior!
23
00:01:34,445 --> 00:01:35,546
Where are they having it?
24
00:01:35,547 --> 00:01:37,080
Huh, I don't know.
25
00:01:37,081 --> 00:01:39,384
You could have the
Skip Day party here,
26
00:01:39,385 --> 00:01:41,184
just like your sister did.
27
00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:43,621
Mom, I've apologized about
that party a million times.
28
00:01:43,622 --> 00:01:46,526
I still can't figure out how
my bed ended up in the pool.
29
00:01:46,527 --> 00:01:49,262
Lucky for you, Adam
doesn't even want to go.
30
00:01:49,263 --> 00:01:51,932
Honey, why don't you want to go?
31
00:01:51,933 --> 00:01:53,366
'Cause I'll be miserable.
32
00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:56,270
You have party
in your genes.
33
00:01:56,271 --> 00:01:58,673
Back in my day, which
was not that long ago,
34
00:01:58,674 --> 00:02:00,142
I never missed a party.
35
00:02:00,143 --> 00:02:02,511
I was known as the
disco queen. Uh-huh.
36
00:02:02,512 --> 00:02:04,513
And every guy knew it.
37
00:02:04,514 --> 00:02:07,983
It's not easy when your
mom is cooler than you are.
38
00:02:07,984 --> 00:02:09,317
Mm-mm.
39
00:02:09,318 --> 00:02:11,320
You can stop now.
40
00:02:11,321 --> 00:02:13,811
And this reminds me of something.
41
00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,695
Holy Lord!
42
00:02:17,696 --> 00:02:20,131
Is this about a girl or something?
43
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:24,735
Okay. Yes, it is about
a girl. And... huh, frankly...
44
00:02:24,736 --> 00:02:26,437
I just don't feel like
going to a party...
45
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,974
to watch her make out
with her boyfriend.
46
00:02:27,975 --> 00:02:30,109
Honey, that's kind’a gay.
47
00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:32,111
I don't want to talk
about it anymore, okay!
48
00:02:32,112 --> 00:02:34,181
On a completely different note,
49
00:02:34,182 --> 00:02:36,850
doesn't this Lamar Washington
go to your school?
50
00:02:36,851 --> 00:02:38,318
Yeah, why?
51
00:02:38,319 --> 00:02:41,455
It says that his brother
died over the weekend.
52
00:02:41,457 --> 00:02:43,457
Yeah, that kid had cancer.
53
00:02:43,458 --> 00:02:46,261
The paper says that he died
in a skydiving accident.
54
00:02:46,262 --> 00:02:47,864
What was he doing skydiving?
55
00:02:47,865 --> 00:02:50,333
It was one of those make
a last wish kind of things.
56
00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:52,503
Oh, that's so fucked up!
57
00:02:52,504 --> 00:02:57,441
Yeah. So look, this kid would
do anything to be in your shoes.
58
00:02:57,442 --> 00:02:58,908
You have to seize the day.
59
00:02:58,909 --> 00:02:59,910
Okay.
60
00:02:59,911 --> 00:03:02,213
Seize-the-day.
61
00:03:02,214 --> 00:03:04,829
[pop music]
62
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,262
This is my high school.
63
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:19,834
This fucking place is filled with your
standard group of stock characters...
64
00:03:19,835 --> 00:03:22,337
that inhabit every high
school in America.
65
00:03:22,338 --> 00:03:25,907
Huh, this right here,
this is Scott Taylor.
66
00:03:25,908 --> 00:03:28,276
He's one of those guys
that's sort of like...
67
00:03:28,277 --> 00:03:32,580
"Oh, I'm M r. Cool, everybody
loves me, I'm so popular"...
68
00:03:32,581 --> 00:03:35,018
but really, he's just a bit of a cock.
69
00:03:35,019 --> 00:03:36,653
Give me a break.
For guys like me...
70
00:03:36,654 --> 00:03:38,955
it doesn't get much
better than high school.
71
00:03:38,956 --> 00:03:40,424
I mean, look at me, I'm the man.
72
00:03:40,425 --> 00:03:42,560
I'd better enjoy it,
because in 10 years...
73
00:03:42,561 --> 00:03:45,765
I'll probably be working at some
shitty H R dept. or something.
74
00:03:45,766 --> 00:03:50,803
Actually, I picture you sweating
it at a used car dealership.
75
00:03:50,804 --> 00:03:52,438
Maybe Congress.
76
00:03:52,439 --> 00:03:54,841
Oh, this right here,
this is Laura.
77
00:03:54,842 --> 00:03:57,035
She's Whippany Park's
prom queen.
78
00:03:57,036 --> 00:03:58,143
Fuck off!
79
00:03:58,180 --> 00:03:59,879
Classic man hater.
80
00:03:59,881 --> 00:04:02,550
But only until I find true love...
81
00:04:02,551 --> 00:04:04,985
until then, I kind’a
like being a big bitch.
82
00:04:04,986 --> 00:04:06,454
Yeah.
Good luck.
83
00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:10,592
Oh, and... huh, this is Denise.
She's, huh... she's...
84
00:04:10,593 --> 00:04:13,629
always talking
about her boobs.
85
00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:15,498
Does this top make
my tits look good?
86
00:04:15,499 --> 00:04:18,236
No, no, that would be your,
huh... your tits!
87
00:04:18,237 --> 00:04:19,936
They make your tits look good.
88
00:04:19,937 --> 00:04:21,205
You know Pam Anderson's surgery?
89
00:04:21,206 --> 00:04:23,674
The one she had in '97
with areola adjustment?
90
00:04:23,676 --> 00:04:26,945
I wanna get that one.
Then I'll be beautiful, right?
91
00:04:26,946 --> 00:04:29,095
Poor girl.
92
00:04:29,314 --> 00:04:31,150
Adam!
You're sensitive.
93
00:04:31,151 --> 00:04:32,853
Hey, and then there's, huh... Isha.
94
00:04:32,854 --> 00:04:34,621
Tell them about the slaughter.
95
00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:37,157
She's hot but she's crazy.
96
00:04:37,158 --> 00:04:38,991
The slaughter in the Middle East?
97
00:04:38,992 --> 00:04:41,026
No! The slaughter of animals!
98
00:04:41,027 --> 00:04:45,433
And for what?! To feed the
public's blood thirst for red meat.
99
00:04:45,434 --> 00:04:47,368
Ain't that a leather handbag?
100
00:04:47,369 --> 00:04:49,104
This is designer!
101
00:04:49,105 --> 00:04:52,653
Am I the only senior Whippany
Park, with a fucking conscience?!
102
00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:57,746
Oh, and huh... this is...
this is Snippy.
103
00:04:57,747 --> 00:05:02,019
He, huh... he smokes
way too much pot.
104
00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:06,024
Yeah... surely I do imbibe
in copious herbage...
105
00:05:06,025 --> 00:05:10,161
but I don't drink alcohol,
I made straight A's...
106
00:05:10,162 --> 00:05:15,781
and I show the utmost
respect for ladies. Yeah.
107
00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:19,218
Yeah.
108
00:05:19,873 --> 00:05:24,162
Oh, God.
And there's Carla.
109
00:05:34,457 --> 00:05:36,003
[record scratches]
110
00:05:38,928 --> 00:05:42,165
It makes you uncomfortable,
doesn't it?
111
00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:44,767
Well, imagine how I feel.
112
00:05:44,768 --> 00:05:48,806
I've been in love with
this girl since junior high.
113
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:52,697
I mean, she's just, she's perfect.
114
00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:55,215
I am not perfect.
115
00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:57,717
If I don't shave my
legs every single day,
116
00:05:57,718 --> 00:06:01,971
I start looking like that monkey
chick from Planet of the Apes.
117
00:06:02,823 --> 00:06:07,043
She's perfect in every
way, shape and form.
118
00:06:09,532 --> 00:06:11,265
- Man, did you hear?
- Hear what?
119
00:06:11,266 --> 00:06:14,570
The Skip Day party is supposed
to be at the principal's house?
120
00:06:14,571 --> 00:06:17,438
I already know that, that's Ralph,
he planned that. He's a genius.
121
00:06:17,439 --> 00:06:18,985
Ralph Lee Ohe-zang!
122
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:24,963
Party at Dickwalter's, tell
everybody. Party at Dickwalter's.
123
00:06:30,855 --> 00:06:33,092
Hey man, party at Dickwalter's.
124
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:37,162
Party at Dickwalter's? There's
a party at Mr. Dickwalter's.
125
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,662
Really?
126
00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:41,066
That's fantastic. A party
at Mr. Dickwalter's.
127
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,704
You know what's weird,
that I'm Mr. Dickwalter.
128
00:06:43,705 --> 00:06:45,406
So maybe I should be there.
129
00:06:45,407 --> 00:06:46,573
Adam, you did the right thing.
130
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,643
Oh my God.
131
00:06:49,144 --> 00:06:52,780
Hey, Laura hey...
132
00:06:52,781 --> 00:06:58,788
I wanno fuck you so...
huh... so, huh...
133
00:06:58,789 --> 00:07:01,457
Oh... oh, hey sweetheart.
134
00:07:01,458 --> 00:07:02,969
Hey!
135
00:07:04,194 --> 00:07:07,398
Hi! Are you ready to
get the hell out of here?
136
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,266
Know what I'm picturing
right now?
137
00:07:09,267 --> 00:07:10,434
I think I can probably guess.
138
00:07:10,435 --> 00:07:12,070
You and me on
Dickwalter's bed.
139
00:07:12,071 --> 00:07:13,672
- Really.
- Oh...
140
00:07:13,673 --> 00:07:17,510
Mr. Dickwalter. Oh my God,
these sheets are so soft.
141
00:07:17,511 --> 00:07:18,944
- Scott.
- Oh...
142
00:07:18,945 --> 00:07:21,246
Oh, yeah, this blanket,
it is so smooth and huh...
143
00:07:21,247 --> 00:07:23,817
Maybe you should
just bang Dickwalter.
144
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:27,154
Girl! It reminded me
of my wedding night.
145
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,791
I felt like a virgin all over again.
146
00:07:29,792 --> 00:07:32,328
Yes you did. You
thought you could...
147
00:07:32,329 --> 00:07:34,096
mess with me, didn't you?
[gong]
148
00:07:34,097 --> 00:07:37,167
You won't believe what these kids
had planned for my house, Minn.
149
00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:39,601
And I never laid a hand
on him, it's not my style.
150
00:07:39,602 --> 00:07:41,436
By the way, is that new?
It's very flattering.
151
00:07:41,437 --> 00:07:45,274
Oh, you like... I told you he was
gonna like my new shirt.
152
00:07:45,275 --> 00:07:49,145
Settle down, people.
Settle down.
153
00:07:49,146 --> 00:07:52,184
I know it's all part
of Skip Day tradition.
154
00:07:52,185 --> 00:07:55,653
You sign in, then you skip out,
a little "fuck you" to the system...
155
00:07:55,654 --> 00:07:58,689
nothing wrong with that, that's
what makes America great.
156
00:07:58,690 --> 00:08:00,391
However, for the
next 45 minutes...
157
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:01,961
Um, are you okay?
158
00:08:01,962 --> 00:08:03,363
you belong
to Mr. Rigetti.
159
00:08:03,365 --> 00:08:04,799
Sure.
160
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:09,518
Snippy I Would you care to take
attendance for the class today.
161
00:08:11,606 --> 00:08:14,675
Huh...
162
00:08:14,676 --> 00:08:16,277
we're all here, dude.
163
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:21,202
Snippy, that's the last time I
slip you any of my chronic, huh?
164
00:08:21,852 --> 00:08:23,520
Don't touch me!
165
00:08:23,521 --> 00:08:25,621
Rigetti's been clean
and sober for 14 years.
166
00:08:25,622 --> 00:08:30,192
I have a special Senior
Skip Day announcement.
167
00:08:30,193 --> 00:08:33,652
I'm here with Ralph
Lee Oheng. Ralph...
168
00:08:35,032 --> 00:08:37,282
Tell them what
you told me.
169
00:08:39,505 --> 00:08:41,256
Hold on.
170
00:08:42,342 --> 00:08:44,797
Speak, Ralph.
171
00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,153
One second.
172
00:08:52,154 --> 00:08:56,339
Speak you son-of-a-bitch, or
I'll crack your head like a melon.
173
00:08:56,374 --> 00:08:58,226
[Speaking Korean]
174
00:08:58,326 --> 00:09:02,063
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I took you
too far back. Speak English.
175
00:09:02,064 --> 00:09:04,599
Look, I'm sorry, alright.
I'm sorry. Blame me.
176
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,702
I did it, I planned
the whole thing.
177
00:09:06,703 --> 00:09:08,004
- It's your fault right?
- It's my fault...
178
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,272
I planned the Skip Day.
179
00:09:09,273 --> 00:09:10,507
You sorry for what you did?
180
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,143
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
181
00:09:12,144 --> 00:09:14,313
Okay, okay.
182
00:09:14,314 --> 00:09:17,748
Alright... You did good.
183
00:09:17,749 --> 00:09:21,453
Well, looks like Ralph
has peed in his pants.
184
00:09:21,454 --> 00:09:25,124
Don't worry, I'm not mad
at you. By the way...
185
00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:28,527
I just spoke to the admissions
department at Harvard University...
186
00:09:28,528 --> 00:09:30,897
where Mr. Cheng planned
to attend in the fall.
187
00:09:30,898 --> 00:09:32,666
He will not be going now.
188
00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:35,435
How many of the rest of
you would like to join him...
189
00:09:35,436 --> 00:09:38,339
in the minimum wage
club? For instance.
190
00:09:38,340 --> 00:09:42,077
Peter O' Leary, still interested
in going to Michigan State?
191
00:09:42,078 --> 00:09:45,348
Gary Glenn, I suppose you're
still interested in Cal Arts?
192
00:09:45,349 --> 00:09:50,254
Timmy Cisineros, Apex Tech?
What the hell is Apex Tech?
193
00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:52,989
What's with his choise?
194
00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:56,727
I n addition, there's something very
important here I want you to know.
195
00:09:56,728 --> 00:09:59,829
I would not have been privy
to any of this information...
196
00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:02,434
without the aid of a
very special student.
197
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:06,205
Someone I respect a lot. So as
you're going through your day,
198
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:09,875
hitting the books, I want
you to think to yourselves,
199
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:13,732
"Maybe I should be a little
more like Adam Harris".
200
00:10:13,733 --> 00:10:15,732
Wough...
201
00:10:20,356 --> 00:10:22,324
I don't fucking believe you,
Harris.
202
00:10:22,325 --> 00:10:23,827
Oh, bro!
203
00:10:23,828 --> 00:10:25,727
Alright Scott, knock it off.
204
00:10:25,728 --> 00:10:27,663
No, Mr. Rigetti,
this is fucking bullshit.
205
00:10:27,664 --> 00:10:30,391
That Adam Harris here had
to ruin our Skip Day. No
206
00:10:30,392 --> 00:10:31,534
Relax, dude, sit down.
207
00:10:31,535 --> 00:10:32,669
Alright, take it easy.
208
00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:35,504
- Yeah, that's enough!
- Okay people...
209
00:10:35,505 --> 00:10:40,611
It happened, alright? it sucks. You
think Rigetti doesn't know life sucks.
210
00:10:40,612 --> 00:10:44,182
I wanna die right now. I wanna die.
211
00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:47,885
I wanna curl up
into a little ball...
212
00:10:47,887 --> 00:10:49,466
and I wanna die.
213
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,828
How's it going?
214
00:10:54,829 --> 00:10:57,229
I'm... I'm alright,
how are you doing?
215
00:10:57,230 --> 00:10:58,666
- Shitty.
- Yeah...
216
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:01,136
I heard about your brother,
I'm so sorry about that.
217
00:11:01,137 --> 00:11:02,370
Yeah, shit sucks.
218
00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:03,838
What's that?
219
00:11:03,839 --> 00:11:06,207
Oh this?
This fucking eulogy.
220
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:09,378
I didn't expect him to die so
quick, I was still working on it.
221
00:11:09,379 --> 00:11:11,082
Jesus, that's rough.
222
00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:12,583
Shit, who're you telling?
223
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,283
Now I gotta change
all this cancer crap...
224
00:11:14,284 --> 00:11:16,886
into this parachute malfunction
for the funeral today.
225
00:11:16,887 --> 00:11:21,726
Funeral? Wait, wait, where's
the funeral service?
226
00:11:21,727 --> 00:11:24,922
At my Auntie's house where we
had that bitchin' party last fall.
227
00:11:24,923 --> 00:11:26,549
You hang in there.
228
00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:28,587
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
229
00:11:31,838 --> 00:11:34,021
Funeral, huh?
230
00:11:36,543 --> 00:11:42,484
Okay, alright look. I know this
is bad, okay? But look at me.
231
00:11:42,485 --> 00:11:46,388
I mean, I'm desperate here,
okay? My entire class hates me.
232
00:11:46,389 --> 00:11:52,543
I'm backed up against a wall,
alright? So don't judge me.
233
00:11:53,764 --> 00:11:55,198
A skydiving accident?
234
00:11:55,199 --> 00:11:56,399
Yes, sir.
235
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,934
You said he had cancer.
236
00:11:57,935 --> 00:12:00,324
Oh, he did sir.
237
00:12:11,451 --> 00:12:15,154
So, if a kid has cancer, what's he
doing jumping out of an airplane?
238
00:12:15,155 --> 00:12:17,857
Well, he was living
life to the fullest, sir.
239
00:12:17,858 --> 00:12:22,697
And, and I think it's only
fitting, that we take a page...
240
00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:28,101
from little Jamal Washington's
short yet fearless life...
241
00:12:28,102 --> 00:12:31,373
and that we set aside
whatever excellent curriculum...
242
00:12:31,374 --> 00:12:34,744
our teachers may have
prepared for us this afternoon...
243
00:12:34,745 --> 00:12:38,046
and instead, suffer through
a much crueler but ultimately...
244
00:12:38,047 --> 00:12:40,918
far more powerful lesson.
245
00:12:40,919 --> 00:12:45,022
That is, the frailty of human life.
246
00:12:45,023 --> 00:12:48,693
I don't know, Adam, sounds
a little far fetched to me.
247
00:12:48,694 --> 00:12:52,165
Mr. Dickwalter, if I may,
you need to ask yourself...
248
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:56,268
why would I tip you off to the
location of the Skip Day party...
249
00:12:56,269 --> 00:12:59,005
saving your house and
your personal belongings...
250
00:12:59,006 --> 00:13:01,675
from a vicious thrashing,
I might add...
251
00:13:01,676 --> 00:13:07,295
only to create some
fantastic mirage?
252
00:13:08,383 --> 00:13:11,119
You know, if this was from
any other student but you...
253
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:15,290
I'd be a little suspicious, but considering
it's you Adam, you're different.
254
00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:16,625
Yes, sir.
255
00:13:16,626 --> 00:13:18,294
You spend your time
studying and debating.
256
00:13:18,295 --> 00:13:20,497
They spend all their time
drinking and having sex.
257
00:13:20,498 --> 00:13:22,567
Yeah.
258
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,202
We're not so different, you and I.
259
00:13:25,203 --> 00:13:27,704
Oh!
260
00:13:27,705 --> 00:13:30,074
You remind me of me
when I was your age.
261
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:32,511
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
262
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,882
Out from the same cloth,
as they say. Huh? Huh?
263
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:38,065
Huh, yeah.
Yeah.
264
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:42,255
Oh, huh, yeah!
265
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:45,405
That'a boy! Don't be
afraid of it, son.
266
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:50,411
I think I'm gonna puke.
267
00:13:50,967 --> 00:13:54,926
A school lies in mourning.
268
00:13:55,036 --> 00:13:57,507
A little boy has died.
269
00:13:57,508 --> 00:14:03,246
So, I declare this day
Jamal Washington Day.
270
00:14:03,247 --> 00:14:06,517
I am actually impressed with you man.
271
00:14:06,518 --> 00:14:10,523
Yeah, way to save your ass from getting
dry docked by the entire senior class.
272
00:14:10,524 --> 00:14:12,123
So what now?
273
00:14:12,124 --> 00:14:16,294
Wait, wait, wait, everybody, um,
just... huh, hang on one second.
274
00:14:16,295 --> 00:14:21,133
Please, um. Look, I know... I know
I really messed things up today...
275
00:14:21,134 --> 00:14:23,335
huh... with my...
with my big mouth.
276
00:14:23,336 --> 00:14:25,138
- You suck.
- Uh-huh...
277
00:14:25,139 --> 00:14:30,946
but, see the thing is, we could still
turn this into the best Skip Day ever.
278
00:14:30,947 --> 00:14:33,814
We'll have the party at my house.
279
00:14:33,815 --> 00:14:37,484
Harris, that is
so nice of you.
280
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:40,485
And I bet you have a whole basement
full of alcohol for us to drink?
281
00:14:40,486 --> 00:14:41,991
Do ya? No?!
282
00:14:42,492 --> 00:14:45,029
Look buddy, you're
in over your head here.
283
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:48,782
A party at your house is gonna
be lame. Come on, let's go.
284
00:14:56,275 --> 00:14:59,823
I can get you booze.
285
00:15:10,325 --> 00:15:12,359
How do you know this guy?
286
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,229
I don't know this guy.
287
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,597
Well, how do you know him?
288
00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:17,985
I don't. I thought
he was your friend.
289
00:15:20,338 --> 00:15:23,828
Holy shit, that's a lot
of booze for 40 dollars.
290
00:15:31,048 --> 00:15:32,817
We can go now.
291
00:15:32,819 --> 00:15:36,688
That guy's got a gun. That guy's
got a gun. Start the car, Sicki!
292
00:15:36,689 --> 00:15:38,189
- Fuck, fuck, fuck.
- Roll up the window!
293
00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:41,807
Drive the car!
Drive the car!
294
00:15:42,429 --> 00:15:44,679
Drive! Drive!
295
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:49,103
- Oh, fuck! Jesus.
- My fucking window!
296
00:15:49,104 --> 00:15:51,385
- What the fuck.
- Jesus!
297
00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:54,095
That was awesome.
298
00:15:55,678 --> 00:15:59,614
Tough break, cancer boy dying
in a freak skydiving accident.
299
00:15:59,615 --> 00:16:02,953
Yeah, I did a little
parachute work myself.
300
00:16:02,954 --> 00:16:07,023
I was a paratrooper in the Gulf
War, the first one. The big one.
301
00:16:07,024 --> 00:16:08,892
- Did you?
- Yep.
302
00:16:08,893 --> 00:16:13,063
My instructor told me that 1 in
17, 000 jumps go bad, and only..
303
00:16:13,064 --> 00:16:15,400
a quarter of those are fatal.
304
00:16:15,401 --> 00:16:17,869
Would it surprise you,
Dickwalter, if I told you...
305
00:16:17,870 --> 00:16:20,874
that only 1 in 3.8 million
kids have cancer?
306
00:16:20,875 --> 00:16:22,441
Okay.
307
00:16:22,442 --> 00:16:24,711
And his funeral lands
on Skip Day, I mean...
308
00:16:24,712 --> 00:16:29,193
what are the odds? It's gotta be
astronomical, like getting the lottery.
309
00:16:30,886 --> 00:16:33,721
Maybe that's what I'll do
right now, Mr. Dickwalter.
310
00:16:33,722 --> 00:16:36,006
Maybe I'll go buy a lottery ticket.
311
00:16:37,293 --> 00:16:39,728
Hey, I can't carry the
speakers by myself.
312
00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:41,630
What'd you say? Can't carry the
speakers by yourself?
313
00:16:41,631 --> 00:16:43,781
That's 'cause you're a pussy.
314
00:16:45,403 --> 00:16:47,002
What's your deal, man?
315
00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:49,371
I love high school.
316
00:16:49,372 --> 00:16:51,641
You do? You fuckin' nuts?
317
00:16:51,642 --> 00:16:54,913
Shit no, this is the best
time of your life.
318
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,847
Really?
319
00:16:56,848 --> 00:17:02,087
You build your future on the foundation
that's poured during high school.
320
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:05,324
Don't squander it, son.
321
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,693
Hello, ma'am.
322
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,028
Hello.
323
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:10,130
Oh no.
324
00:17:10,131 --> 00:17:12,133
- Oh Blanche.
- What's she doing here?
325
00:17:12,134 --> 00:17:14,170
She must have escaped
from the home again.
326
00:17:14,171 --> 00:17:15,670
Well, that can't be over here long.
327
00:17:15,671 --> 00:17:19,039
Say, Minn, what do you know about
this Washington kid's funeral?
328
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,441
So, what you trying to say?
329
00:17:20,442 --> 00:17:23,213
That because I'm black,
I gotta know where...
330
00:17:23,214 --> 00:17:25,480
every other black
person's funeral is at?
331
00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:26,582
Oh, Jesus.
332
00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:28,483
- That we all know one another?
- Here we go.
333
00:17:28,485 --> 00:17:31,154
Every black person
is a fucking cousin.
334
00:17:31,155 --> 00:17:33,124
Frankly, yes.
335
00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:39,764
Well, I'll have you know that
I'm married to a white man.
336
00:17:40,065 --> 00:17:41,333
Fantastic.
337
00:17:41,334 --> 00:17:46,038
Very touching words, Auntie
Sue. Thank you very much.
338
00:17:46,039 --> 00:17:53,363
And now, Jamal's Uncle Sheik would
like to sing a song in loving memory.
339
00:17:55,750 --> 00:18:00,368
This goes out to Jamal, yeah.
340
00:18:53,618 --> 00:18:58,790
Wasserman, Weston. Washington.
341
00:18:58,791 --> 00:19:00,539
Alright.
342
00:19:22,383 --> 00:19:23,963
Hello, who this?
343
00:19:26,421 --> 00:19:28,524
Lamar, is that you?
344
00:19:28,525 --> 00:19:31,427
Huh, yeah.
Who this?
345
00:19:31,428 --> 00:19:34,430
"Who this?"
It's Mr. Dickwalter.
346
00:19:34,431 --> 00:19:37,032
Okay, Mr. Dickwalter.
What do you want?
347
00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:39,769
What's going on
over there, Lamar?
348
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:41,772
What'd you think? I'm at
my brother's funeral!
349
00:19:41,773 --> 00:19:44,775
Doesn't sound like any
funeral I've ever been to.
350
00:19:44,776 --> 00:19:47,112
It sounds more
like a party to me.
351
00:19:47,113 --> 00:19:48,947
Who're you talking to?
352
00:19:48,948 --> 00:19:51,117
It's my principal,
Mr. Dickwalter.
353
00:19:51,118 --> 00:19:53,219
Give me that.
354
00:19:53,220 --> 00:19:57,189
Tell me what's really going
on over there, you little shit.
355
00:19:57,190 --> 00:20:00,581
How 'bout you
go fuck yourself!
356
00:20:02,030 --> 00:20:04,731
How 'bout-hello? How
'bout I go fuck myself?
357
00:20:04,732 --> 00:20:10,338
I don't fuck myself, my friend.
I don't fuck myself ever.
358
00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:15,544
You fuck yourself. People
fuck themselves. Not me!
359
00:20:15,545 --> 00:20:17,179
[cell phone rings]
360
00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:20,052
Motherfucker!
361
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:23,887
Listen to me. You call this fucking
number one more goddamn time...
362
00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:27,504
and I'm gonna back my brand new
Escalade over your motherfucking skull!
363
00:20:30,965 --> 00:20:32,748
I don't...
364
00:20:34,702 --> 00:20:38,905
Hm-mm, where you going? To do some
more generalizing about black folks?
365
00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,740
Number one, yes. Number
two, shut up! Number three,
366
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,877
I think that Adam
Harris was duped...
367
00:20:43,878 --> 00:20:47,014
and there really is a Senior
Skip Day party going on.
368
00:20:47,015 --> 00:20:49,528
And I'm just the
guy to bust it.
369
00:20:52,688 --> 00:20:57,259
Hey, Snippy, we should
have the party right here.
370
00:20:57,260 --> 00:20:59,095
I appreciate the thought...
371
00:20:59,096 --> 00:21:03,667
but'd you really think my house
is appropriately situated...
372
00:21:03,668 --> 00:21:06,036
for such a festive gathering?
373
00:21:06,037 --> 00:21:08,585
Let me check.
374
00:21:14,213 --> 00:21:16,527
Jes... Dude!
375
00:21:18,253 --> 00:21:21,322
Your house has wheels!
376
00:21:21,922 --> 00:21:23,422
Come on...
377
00:21:23,823 --> 00:21:26,660
Should have held onto
that kid when I had him.
378
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:32,734
[blaring rap music]
379
00:21:32,735 --> 00:21:36,487
Turn that crap down!
380
00:21:41,346 --> 00:21:43,198
Yeah, you better leave!
381
00:22:20,858 --> 00:22:23,393
So, what're you thinking?
382
00:22:23,394 --> 00:22:25,329
I'm thinking... I'm thinking...
383
00:22:25,330 --> 00:22:29,200
that we're gonna make
the biggest gravity bong...
384
00:22:29,201 --> 00:22:31,236
that this world has ever seen.
385
00:22:31,237 --> 00:22:32,771
With all this shit?
386
00:22:32,772 --> 00:22:34,316
Oh yeah.
387
00:22:59,869 --> 00:23:02,037
That'll get you high.
388
00:23:02,038 --> 00:23:05,609
Okay, fellas, alright, we
got alcohol, we got music...
389
00:23:05,610 --> 00:23:08,111
we got the world's biggest
gravity fucking bong...
390
00:23:08,112 --> 00:23:09,980
that I've ever seen, or I wanna
see, to tell you the truth.
391
00:23:09,981 --> 00:23:12,115
But listen, there's just one
more thing missing here.
392
00:23:12,116 --> 00:23:13,471
You see what I mean?
393
00:23:13,472 --> 00:23:15,453
I know, oh yeah... yeah.
394
00:23:15,454 --> 00:23:18,001
Bang them out.
395
00:23:19,161 --> 00:23:22,962
A little pick 'em and stick'em.
You know what I mean now?
396
00:23:22,963 --> 00:23:24,729
Yes, I do.
397
00:23:24,730 --> 00:23:28,234
Hi, huh, is this the
Bornstein Modeling Agency?
398
00:23:28,235 --> 00:23:32,706
Yeah... hi, I was wondering if you had any
girls available for a party this afternoon.
399
00:23:32,707 --> 00:23:34,642
No. Okay.
400
00:23:34,643 --> 00:23:36,945
Well, that makes
perfect sense.
401
00:23:36,946 --> 00:23:39,197
Yes, thank you.
Okay, bye.
402
00:23:40,149 --> 00:23:41,217
So?
403
00:23:41,218 --> 00:23:43,585
They do not
do parties.
404
00:23:43,586 --> 00:23:45,922
They told you to fuck off,
didn't they?
405
00:23:45,923 --> 00:23:47,502
Yes, they did... they did.
406
00:23:52,630 --> 00:23:54,431
Hey Bornstein?
407
00:23:54,432 --> 00:23:56,235
Where the fuck
are my models?
408
00:23:56,236 --> 00:23:59,037
Oh, the ones I called
about over a month ago.
409
00:23:59,038 --> 00:24:01,906
For the fucking
lingerie shoot.
410
00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:06,246
Look, I'm paying for a crew
to sit here and do nothing.
411
00:24:06,247 --> 00:24:08,148
They better be here
in 30 minutes...
412
00:24:08,149 --> 00:24:10,151
or it'll be your arse!
413
00:24:10,152 --> 00:24:13,334
Yeah. 10 Forrest
Lane, Fucko!
414
00:24:15,456 --> 00:24:20,075
Gentlemen, I'm gonna go beat
off before they get here.
415
00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:24,233
Oh my God, I'm so sorry
we're late.
416
00:24:24,234 --> 00:24:27,089
Sorry, we had a hard
time finding your street.
417
00:24:30,207 --> 00:24:31,508
We're so ready to go.
418
00:24:31,509 --> 00:24:32,809
So, where do you want us?
419
00:24:32,810 --> 00:24:35,812
H hideous.
Absolutely hideous.
420
00:24:35,813 --> 00:24:39,184
Oh what, did we make a little pit
stop at the Krispy Kreme on the way?
421
00:24:39,185 --> 00:24:40,253
Oww.
422
00:24:40,254 --> 00:24:43,471
Silence!
Let's do this!
423
00:24:51,832 --> 00:24:53,867
Yes, beautiful.
424
00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:58,273
Yes, yes, do that. Now,
give me a little giggle.
425
00:24:58,274 --> 00:25:01,043
Just a little, yes,
good, good. That is sexy.
426
00:25:01,045 --> 00:25:03,845
Okay, pop it up,
pop it up.
427
00:25:03,846 --> 00:25:05,954
Beautiful. That's it.
428
00:25:36,805 --> 00:25:38,397
What is it?
429
00:25:38,398 --> 00:25:41,577
Hold Bessy.
430
00:25:44,695 --> 00:25:47,164
Hey, Adam's party's
up and running.
431
00:25:47,165 --> 00:25:48,298
Really?
432
00:25:48,299 --> 00:25:49,533
Look.
433
00:25:49,534 --> 00:25:51,667
Douche bag
pulled it off.
434
00:25:51,668 --> 00:25:52,802
Well, let's go.
435
00:25:52,803 --> 00:25:55,237
No. No, it's
gonna suck balls.
436
00:25:55,238 --> 00:25:59,176
Scott, I am not gonna spend
Skip Day in bed with you...
437
00:25:59,177 --> 00:26:01,746
while the rest of our class is
partying over at Adam's house.
438
00:26:01,747 --> 00:26:03,882
What's wrong with being
in bed with me?
439
00:26:03,883 --> 00:26:06,418
- Can you please stop being so pushy?
- Pushy?
440
00:26:06,419 --> 00:26:10,456
I just really wanna do this,
I think we're ready.
441
00:26:10,457 --> 00:26:15,595
Yeah, I know, me too. But, let's do
it over at the party, like we said.
442
00:26:15,596 --> 00:26:19,434
Oh. Party. Fuck.
443
00:26:19,435 --> 00:26:23,672
Smoke, smoke,
smoke your boat.
444
00:26:23,673 --> 00:26:27,675
Smoke it
down the stream.
445
00:26:27,676 --> 00:26:31,615
Smoke it, smoke it,
smoke some more,
446
00:26:31,616 --> 00:26:34,365
Smokey, smokey.
447
00:26:37,589 --> 00:26:39,407
Oh, I'm so excited!
448
00:26:40,993 --> 00:26:43,495
Oh, a cutie just showed up.
449
00:26:43,496 --> 00:26:46,499
That's no cutie,
that's my sister.
450
00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,400
- Why would your sister care?
- Trust me...
451
00:26:48,401 --> 00:26:51,470
there's some bad family history
with Skip Day parties.
452
00:26:51,471 --> 00:26:53,939
Look, we need to hide,
everybody needs to hide,..
453
00:26:53,940 --> 00:26:58,763
we need to get rid of the alcohol,
and you need to get rid of Blanche.
454
00:27:03,152 --> 00:27:05,085
Looks like she might
like a cocktail.
455
00:27:05,086 --> 00:27:06,589
I don't know why
we're doing this.
456
00:27:06,590 --> 00:27:08,223
She'd like a few.
457
00:27:08,225 --> 00:27:12,996
Um, I would say probably
somewhere around, like, $650, 000.
458
00:27:12,997 --> 00:27:14,564
Oh shit, I forgot my keys.
459
00:27:14,565 --> 00:27:17,167
There is no fashion
shoot, okay?
460
00:27:17,168 --> 00:27:19,135
He is not
a photographer.
461
00:27:19,136 --> 00:27:21,806
And I'm sure one of you
must have figured out by now,
462
00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:25,076
he's not French,
this mustache is fake.
463
00:27:25,077 --> 00:27:27,141
Let's save this,
save this.
464
00:27:27,142 --> 00:27:28,219
Yeah.
465
00:27:28,220 --> 00:27:29,581
Yeah, I like that.
466
00:27:29,582 --> 00:27:31,683
Look, we're holding
my Skip Day party here.
467
00:27:31,684 --> 00:27:34,087
And, the only way we
could get people to come
468
00:27:34,088 --> 00:27:36,874
is if we had pictures
of really hot girls.
469
00:27:37,992 --> 00:27:41,296
Dude, that sounds so gay
when you put it like that.
470
00:27:41,297 --> 00:27:43,130
And now your sister's
coming here...
471
00:27:43,131 --> 00:27:44,998
and you want us to hide
in the closet.
472
00:27:44,999 --> 00:27:48,514
Yeah... that's pretty
much it, yep.
473
00:27:49,304 --> 00:27:51,507
Wow, that's so cute.
474
00:27:51,508 --> 00:27:54,210
I know. I never even
had a Skip Day party.
475
00:27:54,211 --> 00:27:56,446
True, mine did
get busted.
476
00:27:56,447 --> 00:27:58,458
Can we stay
here for yours?
477
00:28:01,954 --> 00:28:05,137
Get in the closet. Get
in, get in, get in, get in.
478
00:28:07,126 --> 00:28:11,030
You gotta get her outta here fast,
people gonna start to come any minute.
479
00:28:11,031 --> 00:28:13,364
Listen to me, you're a guest
in my house, okay?
480
00:28:13,365 --> 00:28:15,516
You do what I say,
stay in the closet!
481
00:28:17,639 --> 00:28:19,073
Alright, I can do that.
482
00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:20,140
- Hey.
- Hey.
483
00:28:20,141 --> 00:28:22,676
- What're you doing home?
- What're you doing home?
484
00:28:22,677 --> 00:28:24,443
- Mom needs to get her For Sale signs.
- Oh, yeah...
485
00:28:24,444 --> 00:28:25,980
- Well, I'm skipping school.
- Cool...
486
00:28:25,981 --> 00:28:28,884
Isn't there supposed
to be a big party today?
487
00:28:28,885 --> 00:28:30,120
- Yes there is.
- You gonna go?
488
00:28:30,121 --> 00:28:32,055
- I'll be there.
- Yeah, bullshit.
489
00:28:32,056 --> 00:28:33,356
Where you going?
490
00:28:33,357 --> 00:28:36,261
- To get the For Sale signs, from the closet.
- They're not there.
491
00:28:36,462 --> 00:28:39,462
- Where are they?
- This is fucking awesome.
492
00:28:39,463 --> 00:28:41,298
OK, well, I moved them
this morning.
493
00:28:41,299 --> 00:28:43,000
Okay, where'd you put them?
494
00:28:43,001 --> 00:28:45,803
- Upstairs in the guest room.
- You did?
495
00:28:45,804 --> 00:28:47,859
- Yes I did?
- Why?
496
00:28:48,841 --> 00:28:50,796
'Cause I felt like it.
497
00:28:58,118 --> 00:29:00,720
Get out, everyone get out,
get out, get out.
498
00:29:00,721 --> 00:29:03,641
Give me those signs, alright?
Give'm to me.
499
00:29:04,142 --> 00:29:06,741
Alright, wait here.
500
00:29:07,696 --> 00:29:08,763
Yeah.
501
00:29:08,764 --> 00:29:11,167
- Fuck off!
- Dude, Dude... need to smoke.
502
00:29:11,168 --> 00:29:16,272
My sister is upstairs right now.
Alright, alright, come on. Go!
503
00:29:16,273 --> 00:29:19,989
- Adam, there's no signs up here.
- Shhh...
504
00:29:20,945 --> 00:29:24,026
Ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh...
505
00:29:26,486 --> 00:29:27,985
- Adam!
- What?
506
00:29:27,986 --> 00:29:30,387
There's an old
lady in the guest room.
507
00:29:30,388 --> 00:29:31,967
She's my friend.
508
00:29:32,624 --> 00:29:33,724
Who's in the closet?
509
00:29:33,725 --> 00:29:34,726
What?
510
00:29:34,727 --> 00:29:36,628
- Who's in the closet?
- No one's in the closet.
511
00:29:36,629 --> 00:29:38,966
- There's no one in the closet?
- There's no one in the closet.
512
00:29:38,967 --> 00:29:40,384
- That's right.
- Really?
513
00:29:40,385 --> 00:29:41,854
Ahhh...
514
00:29:44,873 --> 00:29:46,340
What's going on?
515
00:29:46,341 --> 00:29:49,009
I'm kind'a... I'm throwing the
Skip Day party at our house.
516
00:29:49,010 --> 00:29:51,312
- What?
- Look, I know, I know it looks bad...
517
00:29:51,313 --> 00:29:54,181
and I know how you and Mom hate
Skip Day parties and all that, but...
518
00:29:54,182 --> 00:29:56,484
I screwed up, and I didn't
have a choice and...
519
00:29:56,486 --> 00:29:58,056
I know it's stupid and it's
irresponsible and everything...
520
00:29:58,057 --> 00:30:00,126
- Shhh...
- And your right...
521
00:30:00,127 --> 00:30:04,426
Look at me,
I am so proud of you.
522
00:30:04,428 --> 00:30:07,098
I mean, you're keeping
up the family tradition.
523
00:30:07,099 --> 00:30:10,368
- I knew you had that fucking gene in you.
- Really?
524
00:30:10,369 --> 00:30:12,070
- Yeah.
- Thank you, that's nice of you
525
00:30:12,071 --> 00:30:14,104
- Fuck, I wish I could stay.
- Oh...
526
00:30:14,106 --> 00:30:17,511
- Better not do anything I wouldn't do.
- I won't do anything you wouldn't do.
527
00:30:17,512 --> 00:30:20,280
- Maybe you'll get lucky.
- Yeah...
528
00:30:20,281 --> 00:30:23,696
- Bye, baby.
- Bye.
529
00:30:25,989 --> 00:30:27,288
Hey...
530
00:30:27,289 --> 00:30:28,689
What'd you want?
531
00:30:28,690 --> 00:30:30,791
What'd you think I want?
532
00:30:30,792 --> 00:30:32,826
Adam, is it weird that...
533
00:30:32,827 --> 00:30:34,296
there's a motor home
across the street?
534
00:30:34,297 --> 00:30:36,264
That's my house, yo.
535
00:30:36,265 --> 00:30:38,014
Yeah, he lives there.
536
00:30:39,037 --> 00:30:42,239
- Okay.
- Congratulations.
537
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,909
- What?
- You're growing some balls.
538
00:30:45,910 --> 00:30:47,478
That's pretty witty of you,
you wanna go do the bong?
539
00:30:47,479 --> 00:30:48,989
Yes.
540
00:31:11,238 --> 00:31:12,920
Party!
541
00:32:25,259 --> 00:32:28,463
Can you believe this? There's actually
a party in my house, right now.
542
00:32:28,464 --> 00:32:31,781
Yeah, but nobody's dancing.
543
00:32:33,668 --> 00:32:37,172
Well, it'll take just one
person to start it off.
544
00:32:37,173 --> 00:32:39,287
Who?
545
00:33:36,108 --> 00:33:38,288
Dance party!
546
00:33:50,457 --> 00:33:51,892
Yeah.
547
00:33:51,893 --> 00:33:53,973
Oh my God.
548
00:33:59,967 --> 00:34:05,054
It's a Carla sandwich with
a side of Scotty. Scotty.
549
00:34:33,005 --> 00:34:35,341
Dog trainer.
[sobs]
550
00:34:35,342 --> 00:34:39,313
Hey, hey, why
the long face?
551
00:34:39,314 --> 00:34:42,151
Mr. Dickwalter, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry. Please.
552
00:34:42,152 --> 00:34:45,753
Pull yourself together. There may
still be a way out of this for you.
553
00:34:45,754 --> 00:34:49,057
Hey Ralph,
where's the party?
554
00:34:49,858 --> 00:34:53,896
Look at me. Do I look like a guy
that knows where the party's at?
555
00:34:53,897 --> 00:34:56,434
Look at me, Ralph! Do I look like a man
who's gonna leave without what he wants?
556
00:34:56,436 --> 00:34:59,102
Now, where's the party?
There had to be a backup plan.
557
00:34:59,103 --> 00:35:01,938
No, the plan was originally to
have the party at Carl's house.
558
00:35:01,939 --> 00:35:03,474
- Carl Smith?
- Yeah...
559
00:35:03,475 --> 00:35:06,410
but he's got these
relatives, they're scary.
560
00:35:06,411 --> 00:35:09,481
Aaaggh.
561
00:35:09,482 --> 00:35:10,882
Who's your friend, Ralph?
562
00:35:10,883 --> 00:35:13,085
This is my principal,
Mr. Dickwalter.
563
00:35:13,086 --> 00:35:14,388
Ahhh... Mr. Dickwilder.
564
00:35:14,389 --> 00:35:15,422
Walter.
565
00:35:15,423 --> 00:35:17,223
- What... Wilder?
- Dickwalter.
566
00:35:17,224 --> 00:35:18,424
Dick-Wilder.
567
00:35:18,425 --> 00:35:19,559
Dickwalter!
568
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,294
Dickwalter...
Dickwalter.
569
00:35:21,295 --> 00:35:25,301
Yes, my son Ralph, he studied
so very hard to get into Harvard.
570
00:35:25,302 --> 00:35:27,937
Can you please find it in
your heart to reconsider?
571
00:35:27,938 --> 00:35:31,073
Oh, I know how you must feel,
I wish I could help you...
572
00:35:31,074 --> 00:35:32,976
but he should've thought
of the consequences...
573
00:35:32,977 --> 00:35:35,911
before he decided to throw
a kegger at my house.
574
00:35:35,912 --> 00:35:37,513
You can forget about
Harvard for him...
575
00:35:37,514 --> 00:35:40,751
In fact, maybe he can work with you in
the kitchen, or whatever it is you do.
576
00:35:40,752 --> 00:35:43,937
I'll be back, one minute.
577
00:35:44,657 --> 00:35:47,092
One minute,
take two minutes.
578
00:35:47,093 --> 00:35:50,582
Your father's not very
friendly, Ralph, huh?
579
00:35:54,401 --> 00:35:57,804
Wilder. Dickwilder,
you son of a bitch!
580
00:35:57,805 --> 00:35:59,439
What about Harvard?
581
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,275
First I find the party, then
we'll talk about your future.
582
00:36:02,276 --> 00:36:05,781
'Till then, I wouldn't throw
away those classifieds. Huh?
583
00:36:05,782 --> 00:36:07,448
Watch out for that one, huh?
584
00:36:07,449 --> 00:36:09,618
Dickwilder!
585
00:36:10,619 --> 00:36:15,293
[screams]
586
00:36:16,294 --> 00:36:19,408
It's only just Harvard...
587
00:36:22,967 --> 00:36:25,582
My cleaver!
588
00:36:33,213 --> 00:36:35,715
Why're you getting
all whiny and shit?
589
00:36:35,716 --> 00:36:38,318
Like you're some big
fucking douche geek gay boy.
590
00:36:38,319 --> 00:36:42,822
Oh Carla, I'm so shy around you.
If you would only kiss me...
591
00:36:42,823 --> 00:36:45,926
my rich and meaningless
life would somehow be saved.
592
00:36:45,927 --> 00:36:49,130
Please, man. You're Adam
Harris. Adam Fucking Harris!
593
00:36:49,131 --> 00:36:52,500
You're the John F. Kennedy
Elementary School Spelling Bee Champ.
594
00:36:52,501 --> 00:36:56,373
You're the Thomas Edison Memorial Jr.
High School Science Fair winner.
595
00:36:56,374 --> 00:36:58,374
You won the fucking
science fair, man.
596
00:36:58,375 --> 00:37:00,976
I know, just shut up, you're
making me sound like a fucking dork.
597
00:37:00,977 --> 00:37:03,747
- President of the Debate Club.
- Yeah, yeah, just shut up.
598
00:37:03,749 --> 00:37:06,484
Vice President of
The Late Society.
599
00:37:06,486 --> 00:37:08,352
OK. Quiet. People are
gonna hear you.
600
00:37:08,353 --> 00:37:11,257
The Chess Club. The AV Club.
Need I go on?
601
00:37:11,258 --> 00:37:12,891
Tate, I am a loser, okay?
602
00:37:12,892 --> 00:37:14,793
You are a risk
taker, my friend.
603
00:37:14,794 --> 00:37:18,598
You are a walking, burning cauldron
of intelligence and testosterone...
604
00:37:18,599 --> 00:37:23,270
all rolled into one beautiful, swaggering
package of unmediated, undoubting love.
605
00:37:23,271 --> 00:37:24,371
That's really nice.
606
00:37:24,372 --> 00:37:26,041
I'd fuck you myself.
607
00:37:26,042 --> 00:37:29,510
Seriously, if I was a chick I
would fuck the shit out of you.
608
00:37:29,511 --> 00:37:31,845
- Yeah.
- Hell, I'd even let you do me in the ass.
609
00:37:31,846 --> 00:37:36,465
Great, if I was a guy, and I am a guy,
if I was myself, I would say no to that.
610
00:37:45,197 --> 00:37:47,265
[panting]
611
00:37:47,266 --> 00:37:52,088
Oh, 70's Bush, 80's Trim, 90's
Shaved, oh, Granny Surprise.
612
00:37:56,444 --> 00:37:58,912
I just locked myself out.
613
00:37:58,913 --> 00:38:00,547
Can I come in
for a little while?
614
00:38:00,548 --> 00:38:02,383
Yeah, sure.
615
00:38:02,384 --> 00:38:06,568
Oh, it's so hot in here. I've
got to take my clothes off.
616
00:38:11,893 --> 00:38:13,162
Is that all you got?
617
00:38:13,163 --> 00:38:16,031
Huh, yes. This is
all I have, yeah.
618
00:38:16,032 --> 00:38:18,867
Well, do you want, like,
a dip to go along with it?
619
00:38:18,868 --> 00:38:23,573
These chips are flavored like
guacamole, so, no dip needed.
620
00:38:23,574 --> 00:38:27,911
Adam, you can put guacamole
flavored chips in dip.
621
00:38:27,912 --> 00:38:30,249
- It actually tastes a lot better.
- You sure?
622
00:38:30,250 --> 00:38:33,764
Positive, come on,
let's see what you've got.
623
00:38:42,429 --> 00:38:46,000
- That is really good.
- It's a start.
624
00:38:46,001 --> 00:38:50,924
Really, that's absolutely amazing,
actually. What else can we make?
625
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,744
I've always wanted to
throw a crepes party.
626
00:38:55,745 --> 00:38:57,946
Crepes they're neat, like
a perfect party food.
627
00:38:57,947 --> 00:38:59,581
It would be like,
a buffet thing...
628
00:38:59,582 --> 00:39:01,884
and you'd put what you
want inside the crepe.
629
00:39:01,886 --> 00:39:05,388
- And they're really fucking good.
- You know what?
630
00:39:05,389 --> 00:39:07,358
- What?
- We ought'a make some.
631
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,227
- Oh, I don't know.
- No, you should.
632
00:39:10,228 --> 00:39:12,898
Carla’s not gonna cook
for you, you know...
633
00:39:12,899 --> 00:39:17,857
just 'cause you didn't buy decent
food except these stupid guaca chips.
634
00:39:19,405 --> 00:39:21,506
Wow, these suck.
635
00:39:21,507 --> 00:39:26,812
Este problemo, hombre?
Spanish for Be-atch!
636
00:39:26,814 --> 00:39:28,916
Carla, I love you. Come on.
637
00:39:28,917 --> 00:39:31,350
Thanks anyways.
638
00:39:31,351 --> 00:39:34,322
What do you think?
639
00:39:34,323 --> 00:39:38,227
I could step up to the plate,
or take it in the ass.
640
00:39:38,228 --> 00:39:41,698
Step up to the plate, right?
Wait! You in the back!
641
00:39:41,699 --> 00:39:46,349
Who said take it in the ass?
Fuck you!
642
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:53,344
Oh... huh, hey! Um...
see ya out there.
643
00:39:53,345 --> 00:39:55,027
Yeah.
644
00:40:07,629 --> 00:40:11,765
- Hey.
- Hey, Sweetie.
645
00:40:11,766 --> 00:40:15,369
Okay, this is amazing, 'cause
you two are models,
646
00:40:15,370 --> 00:40:18,506
and like you're so beautiful,
and I just have to ask you this.
647
00:40:18,507 --> 00:40:19,907
Yeah?
648
00:40:19,908 --> 00:40:25,581
Your boobs, they're like
so big, and perfect...
649
00:40:25,582 --> 00:40:28,018
and I just wanna know,
did you get them done?
650
00:40:28,019 --> 00:40:30,220
And if you did, who
did them for you?
651
00:40:30,221 --> 00:40:31,855
You don't need a boob job, girl.
652
00:40:31,857 --> 00:40:33,457
They're beautiful.
[coil]
653
00:40:33,459 --> 00:40:35,259
I went to Dr. Murray Scholl Smith.
654
00:40:35,260 --> 00:40:38,562
I used to be a O,
he made me a double D.
655
00:40:38,563 --> 00:40:41,532
- But, there's no incision.
- He goes in under the arm.
656
00:40:41,533 --> 00:40:43,970
- Not through the nipple?
- Hell no!
657
00:40:43,971 --> 00:40:46,072
So, what's your
name anyway?
658
00:40:46,073 --> 00:40:47,841
Sicki.
Mark Sicki.
659
00:40:47,842 --> 00:40:50,210
I know a Sicki.
660
00:40:50,211 --> 00:40:51,644
What's going on?
661
00:40:51,645 --> 00:40:54,447
Oh, I took a dump.
662
00:40:54,448 --> 00:40:56,916
Nice party.
663
00:40:56,917 --> 00:40:58,451
Thank you.
664
00:40:58,452 --> 00:41:01,590
Maybe the Sicki I know is
like a relative of yours.
665
00:41:01,591 --> 00:41:04,726
Well, I doubt that, the only
other Sicki in my family...
666
00:41:04,727 --> 00:41:06,428
is my brother Alex.
He's in jail.
667
00:41:06,429 --> 00:41:12,303
Bingo! Alex Sicki the tattoo
guy. He's in my cell block.
668
00:41:12,304 --> 00:41:14,758
Get the fuck outta here.
669
00:41:15,706 --> 00:41:19,165
Small world.
Mm-mm?
670
00:41:27,019 --> 00:41:32,292
Scary people huh? They're gonna
be scared of me, I'm scary people.
671
00:41:32,293 --> 00:41:34,442
Make sure that they ge...
672
00:41:36,633 --> 00:41:38,347
Aagh!
673
00:41:39,968 --> 00:41:44,425
How'd you sell a purple car with a
cleaver in the roof, for God's sake?
674
00:41:45,875 --> 00:41:47,008
Who are these bozos?
675
00:41:47,009 --> 00:41:49,021
Leo.
676
00:41:54,453 --> 00:41:56,920
Get over here.
Get over here.
677
00:41:56,921 --> 00:41:58,923
What're you, hard of hearing?
678
00:41:58,924 --> 00:42:00,357
Huh?
679
00:42:00,358 --> 00:42:03,144
I said what took you so long.
680
00:42:06,233 --> 00:42:08,335
Come on, brother.
Come on.
681
00:42:08,336 --> 00:42:10,502
Hey, have
something to eat.
682
00:42:10,504 --> 00:42:13,573
Yeah, try the sausage.
They're the best in the city.
683
00:42:13,574 --> 00:42:15,208
He's a little hard of hearing.
684
00:42:15,209 --> 00:42:18,144
He says the sausages are good.
Do you want a sausage?
685
00:42:18,145 --> 00:42:21,282
I'm not hard of hearing,
and I don't care how... Jesus!
686
00:42:21,283 --> 00:42:23,852
Yeah, that's Philly.
687
00:42:23,853 --> 00:42:26,989
He won't be snitching
anybody out anymore.
688
00:42:26,990 --> 00:42:30,059
You want something to eat? You
got a lot of work ahead of ya.
689
00:42:30,060 --> 00:42:32,362
You can't dig a hole
on an empty stomach.
690
00:42:32,363 --> 00:42:36,299
Ohh! I don't think, I...
oh, oh...
691
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,758
- he's not dead.
- He's not?
692
00:42:46,479 --> 00:42:47,979
Well, he's now.
693
00:42:47,980 --> 00:42:50,649
Hey, good work.
694
00:42:50,650 --> 00:42:52,252
- My first time.
- Good work.
695
00:42:52,253 --> 00:42:53,386
You'd never know it.
696
00:42:53,387 --> 00:42:54,789
- Good work.
- That's so sweet.
697
00:42:54,790 --> 00:42:56,756
Really, great work,
great work.
698
00:42:56,757 --> 00:42:59,125
Oh golly... What a day
this has been.
699
00:42:59,126 --> 00:43:01,494
Here's your ounce of coke.
700
00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,199
We'll give you another ounce
when you get back from the desert.
701
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:06,234
Believe me,
this is plenty.
702
00:43:06,235 --> 00:43:08,370
This is good shit, don't
snort it all at once.
703
00:43:09,571 --> 00:43:11,473
You want a little food
to hit the road with?
704
00:43:11,474 --> 00:43:13,410
No, I think this
will be okay.
705
00:43:13,411 --> 00:43:17,314
Huh! These guys never
shoot anyone thin.
706
00:43:17,315 --> 00:43:20,361
Oh, come on.
707
00:43:28,527 --> 00:43:30,675
That's just great.
708
00:43:32,767 --> 00:43:36,951
I bet this never happens to
a private school principal.
709
00:43:53,324 --> 00:43:55,390
Oh, hey Isha!
710
00:43:55,391 --> 00:43:56,826
Hey, what's your deal?
711
00:43:56,827 --> 00:44:00,010
I mean, you're fucking hot,
but you're crazy as shit.
712
00:44:03,102 --> 00:44:05,591
Crazy but hot!
713
00:44:13,981 --> 00:44:15,514
My bad.
714
00:44:15,515 --> 00:44:17,917
Damn right your bad.
715
00:44:17,918 --> 00:44:20,754
I like to drink beer, not wear it.
716
00:44:20,755 --> 00:44:24,542
I ought'a cut your fucking arms off.
717
00:44:28,664 --> 00:44:33,136
Yeah, suck my dick, baby.
Yeah, suck it. Suck it hard.
718
00:44:33,137 --> 00:44:35,971
Oh, that's right, baby I Oh,
yeah, oh yeah. Fuckin' eh.
719
00:44:35,972 --> 00:44:37,775
Oh my.
720
00:44:37,776 --> 00:44:39,675
Suck that motherfucker. Oh, oh.
721
00:44:39,676 --> 00:44:41,665
How nice.
722
00:44:51,624 --> 00:44:57,963
I have here a poignant
artifact of little Jamal's.
723
00:44:57,964 --> 00:45:02,769
His cellular phone, that
miraculously survived...
724
00:45:02,770 --> 00:45:05,972
the impact of the fall.
725
00:45:05,973 --> 00:45:09,543
Now, if only Jamal's fragile,
726
00:45:09,544 --> 00:45:12,481
cancer-ridden young body...
727
00:45:12,482 --> 00:45:15,418
had been as durable.
728
00:45:15,919 --> 00:45:20,533
(cell phone rings)
729
00:45:21,593 --> 00:45:22,826
Hello?
730
00:45:22,827 --> 00:45:26,330
(male voice) Is Jamal there?
- No, Jamal has passed on.
731
00:45:26,331 --> 00:45:28,099
Oh man.
That's fucked up
732
00:45:28,100 --> 00:45:30,267
Thank you very much
for those kind words.
733
00:45:30,268 --> 00:45:32,136
- Is he Dead?
- Yeah.
734
00:45:32,138 --> 00:45:33,639
- Shit.
- Goodbye.
735
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,441
And then they shot the guy.
They had guns, Minn!
736
00:45:36,442 --> 00:45:38,010
Who did?
737
00:45:38,011 --> 00:45:41,081
- The mafia, aren't you even listening?
- Not really.
738
00:45:41,082 --> 00:45:42,984
You know something?
This is terrific.
739
00:45:42,985 --> 00:45:46,154
The one person supposed to be
trustworthy... hold on a second...
740
00:45:46,155 --> 00:45:48,822
Let me finish with her
before I deal with you.
741
00:45:48,823 --> 00:45:52,751
Hey, I'm sorry. Turns out the
dead guy's not d... Ahhhh!
742
00:45:57,433 --> 00:46:00,968
- Holy shit!
- Oh shit.
743
00:46:01,969 --> 00:46:04,040
Uh... these things smell.
744
00:46:04,041 --> 00:46:06,810
- Oh my God, sir, are you okay?
- I think so, yeah.
745
00:46:06,811 --> 00:46:10,247
- Mr. Dickwalter?
- Who wants to know?
746
00:46:10,248 --> 00:46:13,286
Ellen Harris, class of '96.
747
00:46:13,287 --> 00:46:15,287
You busted my
Skip Day party.
748
00:46:15,288 --> 00:46:18,156
Oh yeah, yeah, you look good,
what have you been up to?
749
00:46:18,157 --> 00:46:20,828
This isn't my regular car. I
just use this for school stuff.
750
00:46:24,132 --> 00:46:26,633
Oh, you gotta be
fucking kidding me.
751
00:46:26,634 --> 00:46:30,455
Oh yeah? You know what
Dickwalter means in German?
752
00:46:32,008 --> 00:46:34,258
Scumbag!
753
00:46:35,512 --> 00:46:40,835
No. Not scumbag.
But you're close.
754
00:46:48,392 --> 00:46:49,460
Dude.
755
00:46:49,461 --> 00:46:51,177
[scream]
756
00:46:53,031 --> 00:46:56,600
I'd like to make amends
for my behavior earlier.
757
00:46:56,601 --> 00:46:58,837
You see, I have
anger issues.
758
00:46:58,838 --> 00:47:00,139
Uh-huh.
759
00:47:00,140 --> 00:47:02,909
And I'm now gonna
make you an offering.
760
00:47:02,910 --> 00:47:06,012
Drink.
761
00:47:06,013 --> 00:47:08,882
Go ahead, it'll make
me feel better.
762
00:47:08,883 --> 00:47:11,317
I don't, I don't want to.
763
00:47:11,318 --> 00:47:13,321
Drink up.
764
00:47:13,322 --> 00:47:14,833
Drink!
765
00:47:26,569 --> 00:47:31,257
Good. Now I feel better.
Have a nice party.
766
00:47:32,611 --> 00:47:36,848
Oh, yes
Yes, oh I
767
00:47:36,849 --> 00:47:39,016
She's very pretty.
768
00:47:39,017 --> 00:47:42,339
Not him,
but her.
769
00:47:45,826 --> 00:47:47,335
[click]
770
00:47:49,295 --> 00:47:55,723
Oh... oh, Jesus.
771
00:48:05,181 --> 00:48:06,761
Sorry.
772
00:48:16,861 --> 00:48:18,929
So, Tate. How did
you meet Adam?
773
00:48:18,930 --> 00:48:20,965
We met at a Star
Trek convention.
774
00:48:20,966 --> 00:48:24,137
Although he'd probably punch
me in the eye for saying that.
775
00:48:24,138 --> 00:48:27,674
So, for the record,
I met him at the gym.
776
00:48:27,675 --> 00:48:29,042
I was spotting him.
777
00:48:29,043 --> 00:48:32,513
He must have been benching
4... 500,000 pounds.
778
00:48:32,514 --> 00:48:37,299
- Yeah, right.
- He's stronger than he looks.
779
00:48:38,819 --> 00:48:39,989
What do you think?
780
00:48:39,990 --> 00:48:43,306
I... I think, that was weak.
781
00:48:46,764 --> 00:48:48,830
Whoa.
782
00:48:48,832 --> 00:48:50,533
Huh, excuse me.
Everybody, can I...
783
00:48:50,534 --> 00:48:53,570
I just get your attention
for one quick sec?
784
00:48:53,571 --> 00:48:55,272
Is everybody having
a good time?
785
00:48:55,273 --> 00:48:57,375
- Yeah...
- You suck.
786
00:48:57,376 --> 00:48:58,579
Okay.
787
00:48:58,580 --> 00:49:01,215
Um, I have an
announcement to make.
788
00:49:01,216 --> 00:49:06,054
Somebody in our class
is a master chef...
789
00:49:06,055 --> 00:49:08,891
and that somebody is
gonna cook you all...
790
00:49:08,892 --> 00:49:12,330
the greatest meal
known to man and...
791
00:49:12,331 --> 00:49:16,033
And to woman as well.
And that somebody...
792
00:49:16,034 --> 00:49:21,377
is none other than Whippany
Park's own Carla Maxwell.
793
00:49:21,378 --> 00:49:25,335
Give her a hand, Carla [cheers]
794
00:49:30,590 --> 00:49:32,058
Wait, Carla,
wait wait.
795
00:49:32,059 --> 00:49:34,761
I can't believe you put
me on the spot like that.
796
00:49:34,762 --> 00:49:36,763
Can I just tell you
something quickly?
797
00:49:36,764 --> 00:49:39,434
I see you, and you
clearly love cooking, okay?
798
00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:42,538
But you have this weird thing
where you don't want to do it.
799
00:49:42,539 --> 00:49:45,844
Or you think you're not
good, I, I don't get it.
800
00:49:45,845 --> 00:49:49,804
But I can tell you
really do want to do this.
801
00:49:51,921 --> 00:49:53,999
So, let's make
some crepes.
802
00:49:56,693 --> 00:49:59,329
This is gonna be our
chopping station over here.
803
00:49:59,331 --> 00:50:02,835
I'm gonna need a big, um,
mixing bowl. And a wooden spoon.
804
00:50:02,836 --> 00:50:05,937
Wooden spoon, right? I have
two, as a matter of fact.
805
00:50:05,938 --> 00:50:07,708
Yeah, both,
that's good.
806
00:50:07,709 --> 00:50:09,211
A whisker?
807
00:50:09,212 --> 00:50:11,632
Whisk. Yeah,
it's a whisk.
808
00:50:30,107 --> 00:50:32,910
Oh my God, this is gonna be so awesome.
809
00:50:32,911 --> 00:50:37,700
I think Carla’s talking to that
Harris guy or something. Oh, hey.
810
00:50:39,355 --> 00:50:43,176
Up, up, up, up.
Oh, shit.
811
00:50:46,562 --> 00:50:49,749
Okay, you're gonna catch this one.
812
00:51:00,417 --> 00:51:03,886
Aagh I Oh, shit.
813
00:51:03,887 --> 00:51:07,056
Do you want this? Okay.
Yeah, no, no problem.
814
00:51:07,057 --> 00:51:11,363
Um, Carla, when do the cooks get to eat?
815
00:51:11,364 --> 00:51:14,652
This one's for you.
816
00:51:16,104 --> 00:51:18,941
What's this?
817
00:51:18,942 --> 00:51:22,279
Holy Shit. Hey, Harry,
come check this out, dog.
818
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:26,885
Man, I cannot believe what a
diversified portfolio this is, man.
819
00:51:26,886 --> 00:51:30,457
Is that the flagship
episode of Dirty Debutantes?
820
00:51:30,458 --> 00:51:32,994
Yes, it is my brother. Yes it is.
821
00:51:32,995 --> 00:51:34,764
I'm speechless, man.
822
00:51:34,765 --> 00:51:38,068
That one such landmark
film was Romancing the Bone.
823
00:51:38,069 --> 00:51:41,106
There's a scene with Steve
Drink and steamy Tory Whales
824
00:51:41,107 --> 00:51:42,908
it's just one
of the highlights.
825
00:51:42,909 --> 00:51:45,913
Are you referring to where
he got her bent over the sink
826
00:51:45,914 --> 00:51:48,216
and smacked her on the
ass with a Brillo pad?
827
00:51:48,217 --> 00:51:50,085
Yes, perfection.
I love it.
828
00:51:50,086 --> 00:51:53,087
I respectfully disagree. I
mean, this much louder scene
829
00:51:53,088 --> 00:51:57,729
never done it for me, like,
uh, Sexy Sorority Kittens I... I.
830
00:51:57,730 --> 00:51:59,633
Where 50 women go
down on them boys?
831
00:51:59,634 --> 00:52:04,839
Dude, I can't believe that you put
that confusing mangle of pulsating flesh
832
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,043
on the same level as a hot and
intimate moment over a toilet.
833
00:52:08,044 --> 00:52:11,482
You know how freaky your girl gotta
be to let you hit her over the toilet?
834
00:52:11,483 --> 00:52:13,617
Yeah, but that shit
gave me cream dreams.
835
00:52:13,618 --> 00:52:15,073
You're tripping.
836
00:52:20,128 --> 00:52:21,696
There chicken
in that crepe?
837
00:52:21,697 --> 00:52:23,599
Isha, it's not that
big of a deal.
838
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:25,466
Oh, it is
a big deal.
839
00:52:25,467 --> 00:52:30,542
The genocide of poultry. Bovine
mutilation. The fornification of pork.
840
00:52:30,543 --> 00:52:31,709
What the fuck?
841
00:52:31,710 --> 00:52:34,348
Have you ever
nestled your cheek
842
00:52:34,349 --> 00:52:37,117
into a chicken's
soft feathers?
843
00:52:37,118 --> 00:52:40,022
They're glorious creatures.
844
00:52:40,023 --> 00:52:43,859
Tell me something. Did a chicken
ever find a cure to polio?
845
00:52:43,860 --> 00:52:47,698
Has a chicken ever represented
you in court? Pro bono?
846
00:52:47,699 --> 00:52:52,639
When's the last time a chicken sang
a song so sweet it made you cry?
847
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,544
Tell me.
Name one. No?
848
00:52:55,545 --> 00:52:58,414
That's 'cause they're
fucking chickens.
849
00:52:58,415 --> 00:53:01,252
You know what I think your problem is?
850
00:53:01,253 --> 00:53:04,054
You're secretly
craving it.
851
00:53:04,055 --> 00:53:05,891
You're despicable.
852
00:53:05,893 --> 00:53:07,882
H mph!
853
00:53:09,798 --> 00:53:10,965
M mm.
854
00:53:10,966 --> 00:53:13,001
Dude, we're running
low on booze.
855
00:53:13,002 --> 00:53:15,704
What about that liquor
cabinet your parents have?
856
00:53:15,705 --> 00:53:17,876
I do not want to deal
with Sonja right now.
857
00:53:17,877 --> 00:53:19,510
Who?
858
00:53:19,511 --> 00:53:24,027
I don't even want to get into
it, to be honest right now.
859
00:53:26,853 --> 00:53:31,176
What the hell's the mafia doing
in Southern California anyway?
860
00:53:31,962 --> 00:53:33,712
May I help you?
861
00:53:34,565 --> 00:53:35,732
Scott Taylor here?
862
00:53:35,733 --> 00:53:37,168
Who are you?
863
00:53:37,169 --> 00:53:40,473
Frank Dickwalter. Whippany
Park H high principal.
864
00:53:40,474 --> 00:53:42,076
Now, is Scott
Taylor here?
865
00:53:42,077 --> 00:53:43,644
Huh, no, he's in school.
866
00:53:43,645 --> 00:53:47,983
Um, no, he's not,
'cause, like, I'm here!
867
00:53:47,984 --> 00:53:51,254
Now look, I don't want to interrupt
you, whatever it is you're doing.
868
00:53:51,255 --> 00:53:53,992
I'm stretching.
I'm a dancer.
869
00:53:53,993 --> 00:53:55,726
Course you are.
870
00:53:55,727 --> 00:53:58,949
Um, do I detect
a hint of sarcasm?
871
00:53:59,602 --> 00:54:01,202
No.
872
00:54:01,203 --> 00:54:03,473
Sarcasm would be if you said
you were a dancer and I said
873
00:54:03,474 --> 00:54:04,805
"Gee, you don't
look it!"
874
00:54:04,806 --> 00:54:06,842
Ooh.
875
00:54:06,843 --> 00:54:09,014
Alright, forget
I said that.
876
00:54:09,015 --> 00:54:12,585
I didn't intend to get angry, because
I know you people are sensitive.
877
00:54:12,586 --> 00:54:16,356
Wait, wait, wait. What
people? What people?
878
00:54:16,357 --> 00:54:19,862
You! Christ,
look at you!
879
00:54:19,864 --> 00:54:24,201
You better get off my porch before
I'm unable to control myself.
880
00:54:24,202 --> 00:54:27,808
Buddy, you're already
unable to control yourself.
881
00:54:27,809 --> 00:54:30,594
Oh, it's show time!
882
00:55:09,033 --> 00:55:11,521
Best Skip Day ever.
883
00:55:13,204 --> 00:55:15,573
You know, you totally ruined Skip Day.
884
00:55:15,574 --> 00:55:17,510
I know. I did.
885
00:55:17,511 --> 00:55:20,279
I can't believe you told
Dickwalter about the party.
886
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:23,618
Yeah, I know. I should
not have done that.
887
00:55:23,619 --> 00:55:27,473
But then you saved it. And
you made it even better.
888
00:55:28,621 --> 00:55:30,062
Hey.
889
00:55:30,099 --> 00:55:31,259
Hi.
890
00:55:31,296 --> 00:55:35,733
So, it's getting right
around cleanup time, I'd say.
891
00:55:35,734 --> 00:55:39,039
So Carla, you know, Harris and
I, we'll take it from here,
892
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:42,743
because as you know, the chef doesn't
clean up after her masterpiece.
893
00:55:42,744 --> 00:55:44,846
Thanks Scott.
I think we got it.
894
00:55:44,847 --> 00:55:48,386
He's right. You should just hang
out, have fun. We'll take care of it.
895
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:49,654
Really?
896
00:55:49,655 --> 00:55:51,189
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
897
00:55:51,190 --> 00:55:53,373
Okay.
Thanks.
898
00:55:55,296 --> 00:55:57,582
Look at the legs
on that, huh?
899
00:56:01,138 --> 00:56:03,105
Listen, I was talking
about the wine.
900
00:56:03,106 --> 00:56:06,878
You know Harris, you are
one sick fuck, you know that?
901
00:56:06,879 --> 00:56:08,347
But I like you.
902
00:56:08,349 --> 00:56:11,884
So, uh, yeah. Did you
have fun today? You know.
903
00:56:11,885 --> 00:56:13,588
Yeah, I did.
Yeah. Thank you.
904
00:56:13,589 --> 00:56:16,424
Yeah? You know, uh,
my name's Adam Harris
905
00:56:16,425 --> 00:56:18,763
and I graduated in
the top of my class.
906
00:56:18,764 --> 00:56:22,867
Hey, Carla, how 'bout we make some
crepes, how does that sound? Yeah!
907
00:56:22,869 --> 00:56:28,175
Yeah, sounds great! Maybe I can
get in your panties. No. Wrong. X.
908
00:56:28,176 --> 00:56:31,714
Don't even think about it. Forget
about it, as they say in Italian.
909
00:56:31,715 --> 00:56:34,984
At the end of the day, she's my
girl, don't forget about that.
910
00:56:34,985 --> 00:56:36,052
I haven't.
911
00:56:36,053 --> 00:56:37,921
That skirt,
right there.
912
00:56:37,922 --> 00:56:41,059
Yeah, there is a nice supple
peach under that motherfucker.
913
00:56:41,060 --> 00:56:42,696
Fuck me.
914
00:56:42,697 --> 00:56:44,151
F.Y.I.
915
00:56:44,152 --> 00:56:46,452
she swallows.
916
00:56:49,706 --> 00:56:51,039
Hey Denise.
917
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:56,147
Look at her, that's what I want to do.
918
00:56:56,148 --> 00:56:59,218
What, give a lap dance
to some drooling idiot?
919
00:56:59,219 --> 00:57:00,754
Yeah.
920
00:57:00,755 --> 00:57:04,360
Way to let 'em drop, that's
what I'm talking about.
921
00:57:04,361 --> 00:57:07,350
That shit is called game, homie!
922
00:57:12,804 --> 00:57:16,196
Did you know that hemp can
be made into bags and clothes?
923
00:57:18,681 --> 00:57:20,568
Even shoes.
924
00:57:21,584 --> 00:57:23,985
Why would I wanna
smoke my shoes,
925
00:57:23,986 --> 00:57:28,092
when I can just take my stash
and smoke with my lady friends?
926
00:57:28,093 --> 00:57:32,967
Hemp is an alternative to animals.
927
00:57:32,968 --> 00:57:35,268
Yeah.
928
00:57:35,269 --> 00:57:38,241
So, don't
wear animals.
929
00:57:38,242 --> 00:57:39,574
But, uh,
930
00:57:39,576 --> 00:57:44,715
cotton is of
the plant kingdom.
931
00:57:44,716 --> 00:57:47,901
The Spinster
is safe.
932
00:57:49,358 --> 00:57:50,423
Yeah.
933
00:57:50,424 --> 00:57:52,125
Yeah.
934
00:57:52,126 --> 00:57:53,761
Yeah.
935
00:57:53,762 --> 00:57:56,445
Where are we?
936
00:58:11,688 --> 00:58:12,787
Hey.
937
00:58:12,788 --> 00:58:14,457
Hi!
938
00:58:14,459 --> 00:58:16,994
You developed a bit of
a taste for nerd today.
939
00:58:16,995 --> 00:58:19,064
He's a good guy.
940
00:58:19,065 --> 00:58:20,199
But I'm
a good guy.
941
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:21,501
Are you?
Really?
942
00:58:21,502 --> 00:58:23,035
Yeah. Let
me show you.
943
00:58:23,036 --> 00:58:25,406
Oh my God, is that all
you ever think about?
944
00:58:25,407 --> 00:58:28,243
Sweetheart, it's my favorite
thing to think about.
945
00:58:28,244 --> 00:58:29,845
You are hopeless.
946
00:58:29,846 --> 00:58:32,817
Hopelessly in love.
With you, no?
947
00:58:32,818 --> 00:58:34,183
No.
948
00:58:34,185 --> 00:58:37,757
Oh, look, sweetheart.
I know you're nervous.
949
00:58:37,758 --> 00:58:39,192
Yeah, I
am nervous.
950
00:58:39,193 --> 00:58:43,031
Me too. It's okay. You
know, but, I love you.
951
00:58:43,032 --> 00:58:48,404
And, just, you know, I want it
to be special for the both of us.
952
00:58:48,405 --> 00:58:52,878
I love you. Just you
and me, nice and slow.
953
00:58:52,879 --> 00:58:57,533
Just scented candles,
it's gonna be awesome.
954
00:59:02,358 --> 00:59:03,426
Hey.
955
00:59:03,427 --> 00:59:05,362
Hey.
956
00:59:05,363 --> 00:59:07,932
Did anyone ever tell you
that you're beautiful?
957
00:59:07,933 --> 00:59:12,789
Your passion is
very attractive.
958
00:59:16,946 --> 00:59:20,649
Oh my God. I'm so
fucking hungry.
959
00:59:20,650 --> 00:59:26,272
Oooh. Oh, I think
you're ready to be bad.
960
00:59:34,803 --> 00:59:38,741
M mm. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
961
00:59:38,742 --> 00:59:43,826
That is so good. Give
me another bite. Please.
962
00:59:50,025 --> 00:59:53,195
See, the thing is guys,
I've got a secret.
963
00:59:53,196 --> 00:59:54,296
What?
964
00:59:54,297 --> 00:59:55,967
The alphabet.
965
00:59:55,968 --> 00:59:57,034
The alphabet?
966
00:59:57,035 --> 00:59:58,335
You know,
the alphabet.
967
00:59:58,336 --> 00:59:59,951
A,
968
01:00:01,342 --> 01:00:04,627
B,
969
01:00:05,581 --> 01:00:07,350
you do it right,
chicks love the B.
970
01:00:07,351 --> 01:00:10,318
Carl, check this out I'm talking
about tongue-fucking bitches
971
01:00:10,319 --> 01:00:12,488
Dude, that's the oldest
trick in the book, man.
972
01:00:12,489 --> 01:00:14,323
I was getting my girl to climax by O.
973
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:16,454
Well, uh, I get
Carla by the I.
974
01:00:16,664 --> 01:00:18,505
- I?
- Yeah.
975
01:00:18,528 --> 01:00:19,799
Never done
that before.
976
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:21,369
'Cause you're
not dotting it.
977
01:00:21,370 --> 01:00:23,137
Did you
invite Ralph?
978
01:00:23,138 --> 01:00:25,542
Yeah, I think I
invited everybody.
979
01:00:25,543 --> 01:00:27,410
That's good. Can you text him again?
980
01:00:27,411 --> 01:00:28,979
Cause I'm kind'a
feeling like
981
01:00:28,980 --> 01:00:31,414
he needs to come to this
party more than anyone.
982
01:00:31,415 --> 01:00:32,784
That's a good call.
983
01:00:32,785 --> 01:00:34,820
Yeah, I mean, I'm playing. But I'm not.
984
01:00:34,821 --> 01:00:35,889
Okay.
985
01:00:35,890 --> 01:00:38,142
Let's do that.
986
01:00:41,965 --> 01:00:43,977
Kleenex in
the bathroom.
987
01:01:01,358 --> 01:01:02,426
What?
988
01:01:02,427 --> 01:01:05,331
Frank, are you okay?
989
01:01:05,332 --> 01:01:07,268
Never better, Minn.
Top of the world.
990
01:01:07,269 --> 01:01:12,908
Well, perk up Sunshine. I know
who's behind the Skip Day party.
991
01:01:12,909 --> 01:01:16,746
[screeching tires]
992
01:01:16,747 --> 01:01:21,352
Hold on. What? Who?
Who's behind it?
993
01:01:21,353 --> 01:01:23,955
Adam Harris.
994
01:01:23,956 --> 01:01:26,159
Adam Harris?
You asshole, Minn.
995
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:29,632
It can't be Adam Harris, he's the
only decent one in the whole bunch.
996
01:01:29,633 --> 01:01:31,268
Give me
another name.
997
01:01:31,269 --> 01:01:33,435
What the hell is
you talking about?
998
01:01:33,436 --> 01:01:36,439
Adam just sent a text
message over to Ralph's phone
999
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:38,377
inviting him to
the Skip Day party.
1000
01:01:38,378 --> 01:01:41,114
It can't be him,
it's a forgery!
1001
01:01:41,115 --> 01:01:45,286
Frank, Adam sent a picture of himself
1002
01:01:45,287 --> 01:01:49,006
grinding with a bunch of skinny hooch’s!
1003
01:01:50,227 --> 01:01:51,774
Adam?
1004
01:01:53,264 --> 01:01:56,915
Frank? Frank,
are you there?
1005
01:01:58,106 --> 01:02:02,029
Frank? Frank are you
there? [disco music]
1006
01:02:18,835 --> 01:02:20,303
Hello, old friend.
1007
01:02:20,304 --> 01:02:22,415
What the hell?
1008
01:02:40,565 --> 01:02:43,334
What's the big deal about
having sex with Carla anyway?
1009
01:02:43,335 --> 01:02:46,305
You're about to go to U.C.L.A.
on a football scholarship, man!
1010
01:02:46,306 --> 01:02:48,175
You're gonna be knee deep in pussy.
1011
01:02:48,176 --> 01:02:52,481
But, I put three good goddamn
years into this relationship, boys.
1012
01:02:52,482 --> 01:02:54,118
I deserve to get
laid at least once.
1013
01:02:54,119 --> 01:02:55,884
Dude, you get laid
all the time.
1014
01:02:55,885 --> 01:02:58,821
Everyone knows you're having sexual
relations with the prom queen.
1015
01:02:58,822 --> 01:03:00,190
Dude, shut up!
1016
01:03:00,191 --> 01:03:02,827
Besides, I got a secret
that always works.
1017
01:03:02,828 --> 01:03:04,430
Tell her you're
a virgin, man.
1018
01:03:04,431 --> 01:03:06,367
Oh, she'll never
believe that.
1019
01:03:06,368 --> 01:03:08,803
Yes, she will,
tell her you're a virgin.
1020
01:03:08,804 --> 01:03:12,140
She'll believe it 'cause she wants
to, 'cause she loves you, man.
1021
01:03:13,005 --> 01:03:15,816
- A virgin.
- She loves you!
1022
01:03:16,948 --> 01:03:18,250
You're so right.
1023
01:03:18,251 --> 01:03:19,617
I know.
1024
01:03:19,618 --> 01:03:21,287
You're like
a prophet, man.
1025
01:03:21,289 --> 01:03:22,690
I watch a lot
of videos.
1026
01:03:22,691 --> 01:03:24,460
Hey.
1027
01:03:24,461 --> 01:03:26,797
Hey.
1028
01:03:26,798 --> 01:03:28,965
You were really cute
when you were little.
1029
01:03:28,966 --> 01:03:31,700
Ah, thank you.
1030
01:03:31,702 --> 01:03:34,908
Sorry. You don't want
people in here, do you?
1031
01:03:34,909 --> 01:03:36,708
No, no, no.
It's no big deal.
1032
01:03:36,709 --> 01:03:39,513
That one my dad
took, actually.
1033
01:03:39,514 --> 01:03:41,182
Where is he?
1034
01:03:41,183 --> 01:03:43,919
I have no idea
where my dad is.
1035
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:46,756
Huh, the North Pole
I guess. I don't know.
1036
01:03:46,757 --> 01:03:48,458
So, he skipped.
1037
01:03:48,459 --> 01:03:52,597
Yes. He did. He left his
7 year old daughter with my mom,
1038
01:03:52,598 --> 01:03:55,523
and he sort of headed out of town.
1039
01:03:56,672 --> 01:04:00,175
Sometimes I wish my family would skip.
1040
01:04:00,176 --> 01:04:02,789
They just don't
really get me.
1041
01:04:05,351 --> 01:04:08,239
Well, I get you.
1042
01:04:09,456 --> 01:04:10,689
Oh shit.
1043
01:04:10,690 --> 01:04:11,825
I really like him.
1044
01:04:11,826 --> 01:04:13,729
That sounded
so gay.
1045
01:04:13,730 --> 01:04:16,798
I think I can
trust him.
1046
01:04:16,799 --> 01:04:20,504
Adam? Um,
1047
01:04:20,505 --> 01:04:23,841
are you, are you a virgin?
1048
01:04:23,842 --> 01:04:26,980
What? No.
No, what?
1049
01:04:26,981 --> 01:04:28,049
Shit.
1050
01:04:28,050 --> 01:04:29,449
Why would you
think that?
1051
01:04:29,450 --> 01:04:32,255
Oh my God.
She is onto me.
1052
01:04:32,256 --> 01:04:33,990
I can't believe
I just said that.
1053
01:04:33,991 --> 01:04:35,926
You know, 'cause
it's okay if you are.
1054
01:04:35,927 --> 01:04:39,464
Right, well, yeah. No, it would
be okay if I was. But, I'm not.
1055
01:04:39,465 --> 01:04:44,370
That's not how things are. I
have not been a virgin for years.
1056
01:04:44,371 --> 01:04:47,142
Decades. I lost my
virginity so long ago.
1057
01:04:47,143 --> 01:04:49,978
What happened, I was in
Eastern Europe with my family.
1058
01:04:49,979 --> 01:04:54,150
I was at a hotel. Um, I
had nothing to do that night.
1059
01:04:54,151 --> 01:04:57,657
And I went out, and thought, why
don't I try and lose my virginity,
1060
01:04:57,658 --> 01:05:02,362
you know, let's go for it. So, went
out to this whore district, you know,
1061
01:05:02,363 --> 01:05:06,702
just 'cause I figured easier, right? So,
I go there, and I meet this girl, Gretchen,
1062
01:05:06,703 --> 01:05:10,706
she had one leg. And, and I, you
know, talked to her and I was, like,
1063
01:05:10,707 --> 01:05:16,215
hey, you know, let's do it. So she's, like,
alright, well, sure, why not, you know.
1064
01:05:16,216 --> 01:05:19,218
And so we did, and it was good.
And it was fun and all that.
1065
01:05:19,219 --> 01:05:21,657
You know, I was nervous,
I was really nervous.
1066
01:05:21,658 --> 01:05:23,391
Yeah.
1067
01:05:23,392 --> 01:05:26,230
Never done that before, you
know, but then I figured,
1068
01:05:26,231 --> 01:05:31,737
she's, you know, amputee, virgin,
right? Whole thing kind of evened out.
1069
01:05:31,738 --> 01:05:33,440
What the fuck am
I talking about?
1070
01:05:33,441 --> 01:05:35,175
Who is this guy?
1071
01:05:35,176 --> 01:05:38,362
Come downstairs. You're
not gonna believe this.
1072
01:05:48,162 --> 01:05:50,563
Oh my god, No,
no, no, no, no.
1073
01:05:50,564 --> 01:05:54,234
That's my mom's table. That
table's very expensive. No!
1074
01:05:54,235 --> 01:05:56,556
Oh God.
1075
01:05:58,141 --> 01:06:00,611
Go Denise.
Go Denise.
1076
01:06:00,612 --> 01:06:03,295
Go Denise.
Go Denise.
1077
01:06:06,856 --> 01:06:10,090
I need a dollar bill. I need a
dollar bill. Who's got a dollar?
1078
01:06:10,091 --> 01:06:13,896
Does anybody have dollar? Okay,
okay. Does anybody have a dollar?
1079
01:06:13,897 --> 01:06:17,467
I do not have a dollar.
Can anybody bust up a ten?
1080
01:06:17,468 --> 01:06:19,304
Can anybody
bust up a ten?
1081
01:06:19,305 --> 01:06:26,013
Hey, uh, you know, I have
something I need to tell you.
1082
01:06:26,014 --> 01:06:29,152
But I've been
hiding it from you,
1083
01:06:29,153 --> 01:06:33,055
because I'm really
embarrassed about it.
1084
01:06:33,057 --> 01:06:34,926
What?
1085
01:06:34,927 --> 01:06:40,633
The truth is, I'm
I'm a virgin, Carla.
1086
01:06:40,635 --> 01:06:42,052
Really?
1087
01:06:42,054 --> 01:06:43,524
Yeah.
1088
01:06:50,247 --> 01:06:53,569
Oh, let's go to
the bedroom.
1089
01:06:55,723 --> 01:06:58,759
Oh my god. I really did blow it.
1090
01:06:58,760 --> 01:07:00,863
Hey man,
this isn't over.
1091
01:07:00,864 --> 01:07:03,149
Yes it is. It's too late, I blew it.
1092
01:07:10,375 --> 01:07:12,245
Are you nervous?
1093
01:07:12,246 --> 01:07:13,846
Yeah.
1094
01:07:13,847 --> 01:07:18,019
Me too. Happy, but
nervous at the same time.
1095
01:07:18,020 --> 01:07:20,322
I can't believe you're
letting this happen.
1096
01:07:20,323 --> 01:07:22,591
Tate, I fucked up, and
it's done, it's over.
1097
01:07:22,592 --> 01:07:26,064
Stop them, stake your
claim. Plant your flag.
1098
01:07:26,065 --> 01:07:31,372
Okay, plant your flag. What does that
even mean? That doesn't mean anything.
1099
01:07:31,373 --> 01:07:35,445
I don't know what it
means. But it sounds good.
1100
01:07:35,446 --> 01:07:36,578
It does sound good.
1101
01:07:36,579 --> 01:07:38,015
Damn right it
sounds good.
1102
01:07:38,016 --> 01:07:39,349
That sounds
really good.
1103
01:07:39,350 --> 01:07:41,118
Damn right it sounds really good.
1104
01:07:41,119 --> 01:07:42,286
I gotta plant
my flag.
1105
01:07:42,287 --> 01:07:43,522
You plant that flag!
1106
01:07:43,523 --> 01:07:45,125
I gotta
plant my flag.
1107
01:07:45,126 --> 01:07:46,526
Go!
Go!
1108
01:07:46,527 --> 01:07:49,899
I'm glad it's the first
time for both of us.
1109
01:07:49,900 --> 01:07:52,935
I know.
I know.
1110
01:07:52,936 --> 01:07:58,557
Alright, I know. I should just, I gotta,
but no, can you really expect me to just...
1111
01:08:00,779 --> 01:08:04,485
Okay, look, no. This is the moment
of truth. I gotta seize the day.
1112
01:08:04,486 --> 01:08:07,522
Okay. I think I'm ready.
1113
01:08:07,523 --> 01:08:09,842
Me too.
1114
01:08:12,262 --> 01:08:14,666
I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna do this.
1115
01:08:14,667 --> 01:08:16,133
Ready?
1116
01:08:16,134 --> 01:08:17,748
Yeah.
1117
01:08:25,316 --> 01:08:29,053
I can't believe it. It's
too late. I'm too late.
1118
01:08:29,054 --> 01:08:32,021
Oh yeah. Oh, this is gonna
be fucking awesome.
1119
01:08:32,022 --> 01:08:34,026
Here we go, Laura,
I just gotta get it...
1120
01:08:34,027 --> 01:08:35,196
What? Wait.
1121
01:08:35,197 --> 01:08:36,263
Carla. Carla.
1122
01:08:36,264 --> 01:08:37,798
No, what did
you just say?
1123
01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:40,902
That is so messed up.
She's definitely fucking him.
1124
01:08:40,904 --> 01:08:42,136
You just called me Laura!
1125
01:08:42,137 --> 01:08:43,674
No!
1126
01:08:43,675 --> 01:08:46,844
I'm not making this shit up.
She was fucking him.
1127
01:08:46,845 --> 01:08:48,245
Have you been fucking Laura?
1128
01:08:48,246 --> 01:08:51,467
She was fucking his brains out!
1129
01:08:52,686 --> 01:08:54,155
You bastard!
1130
01:08:54,156 --> 01:08:56,269
Oh.
1131
01:08:59,129 --> 01:09:01,230
Hey! You're hot.
1132
01:09:01,231 --> 01:09:03,903
I can't believe
how stupid I was.
1133
01:09:03,904 --> 01:09:07,273
Oh, fuck, man. Carla!
1134
01:09:07,274 --> 01:09:09,058
Fuck off!
1135
01:09:12,349 --> 01:09:13,682
Jesus.
1136
01:09:13,684 --> 01:09:14,951
You wanna make out?
1137
01:09:14,952 --> 01:09:17,998
Okay.
1138
01:09:20,726 --> 01:09:23,012
Oh, I can't fucking
believe this.
1139
01:09:27,101 --> 01:09:28,648
Hey!
1140
01:09:42,958 --> 01:09:44,560
Um, this is weird.
1141
01:09:44,561 --> 01:09:46,447
Get it dude.
1142
01:09:52,337 --> 01:09:53,471
Oh my God.
1143
01:09:53,472 --> 01:09:55,519
Oh my God!
1144
01:09:59,412 --> 01:10:01,015
Carla, is everything...
1145
01:10:01,016 --> 01:10:03,219
Get the hell away from me!
I don't wanna talk to you!
1146
01:10:03,220 --> 01:10:04,520
He's all yours, honey.
1147
01:10:04,521 --> 01:10:06,587
This is your own fault,
you cock tease.
1148
01:10:06,588 --> 01:10:08,458
Hey, you know what,
you can't talk to her like that.
1149
01:10:08,459 --> 01:10:10,972
Oh yeah, the bitch is all yours,
what're you gonna do about it?
1150
01:10:10,973 --> 01:10:12,574
What?
1151
01:10:13,500 --> 01:10:17,204
I'm sorry bro. But, fuck. I've been
wanting to do that all day, man.
1152
01:10:17,205 --> 01:10:20,020
Oh my god.
1153
01:10:20,021 --> 01:10:21,377
Mom.
1154
01:10:21,378 --> 01:10:22,957
Oh, shit.
1155
01:10:24,683 --> 01:10:28,619
Mom, uh, I seized the day, you remember?
You said, seize the day this morning?
1156
01:10:28,620 --> 01:10:30,770
You've destroyed the house, you...
1157
01:10:34,096 --> 01:10:37,599
Not again. What have you done?
1158
01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:43,086
Mom, I threw a party. I threw
a party, and it was awesome.
1159
01:10:43,087 --> 01:10:45,811
- Yeah...
- Wasn't it? It was...
1160
01:10:45,812 --> 01:10:47,147
- You rule...
- Thank you...
1161
01:10:47,148 --> 01:10:50,818
Thank you. Whoever said that.
That's a long time coming.
1162
01:10:50,819 --> 01:10:54,489
Tate, he played all of this music,
and it was amazing, and...
1163
01:10:54,490 --> 01:10:56,926
and this old guy,
he bought us liquor and I...
1164
01:10:56,927 --> 01:10:59,897
I built a... I built a bong
in our garage.
1165
01:10:59,898 --> 01:11:01,298
- Oh great.
- And... and...
1166
01:11:01,299 --> 01:11:03,669
then we called up these models
and these models came over...
1167
01:11:03,670 --> 01:11:06,373
and we took pictures of
them in their underwear.
1168
01:11:06,375 --> 01:11:09,277
And then everybody came
over and we just partied.
1169
01:11:09,278 --> 01:11:11,733
And, you stuck your
finger in the dog's ass.
1170
01:11:11,734 --> 01:11:13,284
Yeah...
1171
01:11:13,285 --> 01:11:17,688
Yes, that, I... I did do
that. That was an accident.
1172
01:11:17,689 --> 01:11:20,460
And then there's Carla.
1173
01:11:20,461 --> 01:11:24,566
She made these... these crepes,
they're just, they were amazing.
1174
01:11:24,567 --> 01:11:29,072
And she's amazing, and I got a
chance to talk to her and lied...
1175
01:11:29,073 --> 01:11:34,479
and I lied, and I said... I said
some stupid things and...
1176
01:11:34,480 --> 01:11:36,095
I'm sorry.
1177
01:11:38,785 --> 01:11:40,622
Oh shit... it's Dickwalter.
1178
01:11:40,623 --> 01:11:43,425
Mom! You cannot
open that door.
1179
01:11:43,426 --> 01:11:48,887
If you do, none of us are
going to college. He's insane.
1180
01:11:52,707 --> 01:11:54,958
Everybody hide! Everybody...
1181
01:12:01,684 --> 01:12:03,620
Hi, Mrs. Harris.
1182
01:12:03,621 --> 01:12:06,156
Is the entire
senior class home?
1183
01:12:06,157 --> 01:12:08,929
Mr. Dickwalter. What
are you doing here?
1184
01:12:08,930 --> 01:12:12,741
What am I doing here? I'm working my
way through college, what'd you think...
1185
01:12:12,742 --> 01:12:15,671
I'm doing here? I'm here to bust
the Senior Skip Day party.
1186
01:12:15,672 --> 01:12:18,274
Well, good luck with that, sir.
1187
01:12:18,275 --> 01:12:20,111
You trying to tell me there's not a 100
kids on the other side of that door?
1188
01:12:20,112 --> 01:12:23,382
I think I would know, if there were
a 100 kids standing behind me, alright?
1189
01:12:23,383 --> 01:12:25,770
How 'bout Ellen, is she home?
1190
01:12:28,889 --> 01:12:30,523
Say I asked, okay?
1191
01:12:30,524 --> 01:12:34,563
I've got it. They're at
the Washington funeral.
1192
01:12:34,564 --> 01:12:36,800
They're at the
Washington funeral, sir.
1193
01:12:36,801 --> 01:12:38,702
There is no funeral.
1194
01:12:38,703 --> 01:12:41,506
Your son made fools
out of all of us.
1195
01:12:41,507 --> 01:12:45,112
He's been there all day,
with the entire senior class.
1196
01:12:45,113 --> 01:12:47,849
He's been there all day
with the entire senior class.
1197
01:12:47,850 --> 01:12:51,519
There's no funeral! They're at a party!
Why won't any one listen to me?
1198
01:12:51,520 --> 01:12:55,291
- I dropped him off myself.
- I dropped him off myself.
1199
01:12:55,292 --> 01:12:56,661
They're at, huh...
1200
01:12:56,662 --> 01:13:00,167
1762 One Eden Lane.
1201
01:13:00,168 --> 01:13:03,938
1762 One Eden Lane.
1202
01:13:03,939 --> 01:13:06,008
Gotta go.
1203
01:13:06,009 --> 01:13:08,725
Bye.
1204
01:13:08,846 --> 01:13:10,379
Dickwalter, you remember me?
1205
01:13:10,380 --> 01:13:13,318
People like you don't
remember people like me.
1206
01:13:13,319 --> 01:13:16,089
You just prance away
through other people's lives,
1207
01:13:16,090 --> 01:13:19,546
spewing your bullshit about
taking the moral high road.
1208
01:13:21,898 --> 01:13:23,666
Wait a minute.
Huffier?
1209
01:13:23,667 --> 01:13:26,469
Your old classmate.
You do remember.
1210
01:13:26,470 --> 01:13:28,404
- You 'member anything else about me?
- No.
1211
01:13:28,405 --> 01:13:31,811
Like how you ratted out my
Skip Day party to the principal?
1212
01:13:31,812 --> 01:13:36,650
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Good times, well, see ya.
1213
01:13:36,651 --> 01:13:39,822
You ruined any chance I had
of going to technical college!
1214
01:13:39,823 --> 01:13:41,089
You see, I had a dream.
1215
01:13:41,090 --> 01:13:42,226
Oh God!
1216
01:13:42,227 --> 01:13:46,563
I had a dream of being an air conditioning
repairman, and you fucked that dream up.
1217
01:13:46,564 --> 01:13:48,366
- And then they locked me up.
- Why?
1218
01:13:48,367 --> 01:13:50,468
And the long, lonely nights began.
1219
01:13:50,469 --> 01:13:51,606
Aagh.
1220
01:13:51,607 --> 01:13:53,106
That's when I got a new dream.
1221
01:13:53,107 --> 01:13:54,578
- Alright, let's hear it.
- Yeah...
1222
01:13:54,579 --> 01:13:59,414
I'm dreaming of opening a barbecue
shack, Lionel's Barbecue Palace.
1223
01:13:59,415 --> 01:14:01,584
I came back for you,
Dickwalter, 'cause
1224
01:14:01,585 --> 01:14:04,691
you're gonna help me make
my new dream come true.
1225
01:14:04,692 --> 01:14:10,380
See, I'm gonna cut your fucking
head off and put it on the menu.
1226
01:14:20,447 --> 01:14:23,717
You think too small.
Ever been to Burma?
1227
01:14:23,718 --> 01:14:27,221
They chase their whiskey with snake venom
and the women all do that basket trick.
1228
01:14:27,222 --> 01:14:31,537
Now, excuse me! But I've got
a phony funeral to attend.
1229
01:14:33,765 --> 01:14:37,203
Boy. That guy's
really changed.
1230
01:14:37,204 --> 01:14:39,841
What the hell have you done, Adam?
He's gonna show up at the funeral..
1231
01:14:39,842 --> 01:14:41,777
none of us will be there and
we all be fucked.
1232
01:14:41,778 --> 01:14:45,882
Shut up, Tate! Ellen, you're and
mom are the only sober persons here.
1233
01:14:45,883 --> 01:14:47,719
- Can you do me a favor?
- What's that!
1234
01:14:47,754 --> 01:14:50,455
Do you know how
to drive a house?
1235
01:14:50,520 --> 01:14:54,138
Beat the Dick
1236
01:15:00,102 --> 01:15:01,956
Whoa.
1237
01:15:02,572 --> 01:15:05,857
Beat the Dick!
Beat the Dick!
1238
01:15:33,916 --> 01:15:37,120
Here you go, Philly.
She's all yours.
1239
01:15:37,121 --> 01:15:39,008
Use it in
good health.
1240
01:15:57,482 --> 01:15:59,700
Ease!
1241
01:16:04,225 --> 01:16:07,463
Well, well, well, looks like
Mr. Dickwalter wins again.
1242
01:16:07,464 --> 01:16:10,800
Got the entire senior class,
might as well have graduation here,
1243
01:16:10,801 --> 01:16:13,417
except none of you
are gonna graduate now!
1244
01:16:14,773 --> 01:16:16,373
Drinks, food,
1245
01:16:16,374 --> 01:16:21,014
everything I'd want if I
lost a son. I have lost a son.
1246
01:16:21,015 --> 01:16:24,554
Mr. Dickwalter, sir. I think
you've got the wrong idea here.
1247
01:16:24,555 --> 01:16:27,135
You broke my
heart, kid!
1248
01:16:28,826 --> 01:16:32,251
I'll call it even if you put
in a good word with your sister.
1249
01:16:32,964 --> 01:16:37,856
Come on.
Hot.
1250
01:16:41,478 --> 01:16:43,847
Who is
this asshole?
1251
01:16:43,848 --> 01:16:46,716
That's my principal,
pop. Mr. Dickwalter.
1252
01:16:46,717 --> 01:16:48,468
Motherfucker.
1253
01:16:49,221 --> 01:16:52,338
You got a cast
of extras too?
1254
01:16:57,832 --> 01:17:01,204
The rest of you disgust me as well
'cause you covered up for them.
1255
01:17:01,205 --> 01:17:04,442
You like to party, you wanna have
a party? I like to have a party!
1256
01:17:04,443 --> 01:17:08,799
I know how to party, you
wanna have a party? Here...
1257
01:17:12,643 --> 01:17:14,799
Huh... huh?
1258
01:17:19,730 --> 01:17:23,402
No? Suit yourself, more for me.
1259
01:17:23,403 --> 01:17:25,825
Motherfucker.
1260
01:17:31,114 --> 01:17:35,402
Not my style. I like a cold beer,
and I bet I know just where it is.
1261
01:17:42,831 --> 01:17:44,231
That's a dead kid.
1262
01:17:44,232 --> 01:17:46,153
Motherfucker.
1263
01:18:01,057 --> 01:18:02,089
Phew.
1264
01:18:02,090 --> 01:18:04,204
Hey, Dickwalter!
1265
01:18:05,195 --> 01:18:08,708
Tell me more about Burma.
1266
01:18:12,571 --> 01:18:14,994
Fantastic.
1267
01:18:17,011 --> 01:18:20,548
Does anybody else find it ironic
that this asshole goes through hell...
1268
01:18:20,549 --> 01:18:22,686
trying to punish us
for skipping school,
1269
01:18:22,687 --> 01:18:28,859
and yet he himself ends up skipping
off to Burma with an escaped convict?
1270
01:18:28,860 --> 01:18:31,099
You know what though? I'm...
1271
01:18:31,100 --> 01:18:34,001
I'm actually kind'a proud
of him, I really am.
1272
01:18:34,002 --> 01:18:36,470
Sick bastard that he is.
1273
01:18:36,471 --> 01:18:39,409
Aren't you sick of
listening to him already?
1274
01:18:39,410 --> 01:18:41,777
What's your problem,
you're still mad at me?
1275
01:18:41,778 --> 01:18:44,249
I don't know. Are you
still full of shit?
1276
01:18:44,250 --> 01:18:46,585
I'm always full of shit.
1277
01:18:46,586 --> 01:18:48,754
Now, just one more
thing. Really quickly.
1278
01:18:48,755 --> 01:18:52,594
True love. It is a
rare, rare thing.
1279
01:18:52,595 --> 01:18:56,667
And when you find it, you need
to grab the bull by its horns.
1280
01:18:56,668 --> 01:19:00,673
And you need to wrestle it to the
ground. And then you need to take...
1281
01:19:00,674 --> 01:19:02,475
Shut up and kiss me.
1282
01:19:02,476 --> 01:19:03,987
Okay.
1283
01:19:16,428 --> 01:19:17,994
That was really good.
1284
01:19:17,995 --> 01:19:20,501
- Was it?
- See, you got it all over your mouth.
1285
01:19:20,502 --> 01:19:23,038
You know how long I've
been waiting to do that?
1286
01:19:23,039 --> 01:19:24,873
3 weeks, that's how long...
1287
01:19:24,874 --> 01:19:29,112
- 3 weeks, 4 if you count rehearsals.
- We kissed in rehearsal.
1288
01:19:29,181 --> 01:19:31,150
- No we didn't.
- Yeah we did.
1289
01:19:31,151 --> 01:19:33,785
You have a completly
warped imagination.
1290
01:19:33,786 --> 01:19:37,423
- You kissed Alan in rehearsals.
- You just don't remember it, that sucks.
1291
01:19:37,424 --> 01:19:39,423
- I never kissed you in rehearsals.
- You don't remember, but you did.
1292
01:19:39,424 --> 01:19:41,530
- We never did...
- Oh my god, that's really sad.
1293
01:19:41,531 --> 01:19:44,566
- This was our first kiss.
- No, it wasn't, that's really sad.
1294
01:19:44,567 --> 01:19:46,438
The first one didn't make much
of an impression, obviously.
1295
01:19:46,439 --> 01:19:49,475
Obviously, that's sad.
1296
01:19:49,476 --> 01:19:52,844
Uhmm, are you upset that we're
done with the movie?
1297
01:19:52,845 --> 01:19:54,248
- Yes.
- Yeah?
1298
01:19:54,249 --> 01:19:56,149
- What're we gonna do?
- Now?
1299
01:19:56,150 --> 01:19:57,752
- Yeah.
- I don't know.
1300
01:19:57,753 --> 01:20:00,857
Can I finish up what I was gonna
say before you interrupted me...
1301
01:20:00,859 --> 01:20:01,958
- No, you're annoying...
- and made me kiss you?
1302
01:20:01,960 --> 01:20:03,359
I was gonna say, that...
1303
01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:04,994
- true love is a rare thing...
- God...
1304
01:20:04,995 --> 01:20:07,264
- when you find it you need to...
- Just shut up and kiss me.
1305
01:20:07,265 --> 01:20:09,533
grab it by it's horns, you need
to wrestle it to the ground...
1306
01:20:09,534 --> 01:20:13,474
and then you need to take your matador
saber and you need to plunge it...
1307
01:20:13,475 --> 01:20:15,978
into the cavity of its
chest, and then you need...
1308
01:20:15,979 --> 01:20:17,913
What? Where're you
plunging it into?
1309
01:20:17,914 --> 01:20:22,186
You take your matador saber. Matador
is the guy that fights bulls in Spain.
1310
01:20:22,187 --> 01:20:25,757
Or in really strange areas
of the U S, I suppose.
1311
01:20:25,758 --> 01:20:28,595
And he kills the bull with his matador saber.
1312
01:20:28,596 --> 01:20:31,367
Plunges it into the
feathering cavity of his chest,
1313
01:20:31,368 --> 01:20:35,039
and then he kicks it while it's on the
ground. Then later on he barbecues it.
1314
01:20:35,040 --> 01:20:36,372
Wanna do the head butt?
1315
01:20:36,373 --> 01:20:38,909
Yeah! Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Okay.
1316
01:20:38,910 --> 01:20:40,345
This is our version.
1317
01:20:40,346 --> 01:20:42,884
Yeah. So, okay.
1318
01:20:42,885 --> 01:20:44,483
True love is a rare thing.
1319
01:20:44,484 --> 01:20:47,221
When you find it you need to
grab the bull by the horns...
1320
01:20:47,222 --> 01:20:50,025
and you need to wrestle
it to the ground, and then...
1321
01:20:50,026 --> 01:20:52,128
Just shut up and kiss me.
1322
01:20:52,129 --> 01:20:53,944
Okay.
1323
01:20:54,298 --> 01:20:56,167
Boom.
1324
01:20:56,168 --> 01:20:59,872
Then she falls to the ground, and
then I kick her. And I kick her.
1325
01:20:59,873 --> 01:21:03,077
And I say,
"That's for six years...
1326
01:21:03,078 --> 01:21:05,947
junior high and high
school, of torture".
1327
01:21:05,948 --> 01:21:09,907
Huh, your frappuccino's
here, Mr. Lundy.
1328
01:21:11,823 --> 01:21:16,862
Harris, that's
my girl.
1329
01:21:16,863 --> 01:21:18,875
Give me a kiss.
1330
01:21:21,002 --> 01:21:22,972
During sexually
intimate moments,
1331
01:21:22,973 --> 01:21:26,291
do you ever feel like
your woman's distracted?
1332
01:21:27,444 --> 01:21:31,266
There's a party
at Mr. Dickwalter's?
1333
01:21:41,732 --> 01:21:42,999
Motherfucker.
1334
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:44,667
One more time.
1335
01:21:44,668 --> 01:21:45,935
Motherfucker.
1336
01:21:45,936 --> 01:21:47,439
One more time.
1337
01:21:47,440 --> 01:21:49,708
Who is
that asshole?
1338
01:21:49,709 --> 01:21:52,947
That's my principal,
Pop. Mr. Dickwalter.
1339
01:21:52,948 --> 01:21:54,401
Motherfucker.
1340
01:21:55,019 --> 01:21:56,734
Marker.
1341
01:21:58,388 --> 01:22:00,290
Set I
And action!
1342
01:22:00,291 --> 01:22:03,127
What do you know about this
Washington kid's funeral?
1343
01:22:03,128 --> 01:22:04,761
So, what you
trying to say?
1344
01:22:04,762 --> 01:22:07,032
That because I'm black,
I gotta know where
1345
01:22:07,033 --> 01:22:09,236
every other black
person's funeral is at?
1346
01:22:09,237 --> 01:22:10,337
Oh, Jesus.
1347
01:22:10,338 --> 01:22:11,774
That we all know
each other?
1348
01:22:11,775 --> 01:22:13,174
Here we go.
1349
01:22:13,175 --> 01:22:15,945
That every black person
is a fucking cousin?
1350
01:22:15,946 --> 01:22:18,049
Frankly, yes.
1351
01:22:18,050 --> 01:22:20,818
Well, I'll have you know...
1352
01:22:20,819 --> 01:22:23,188
that I have three cousins...
1353
01:22:23,189 --> 01:22:27,442
Shaniqua, Santander, and
Quanta, and they all white.
1354
01:22:27,797 --> 01:22:28,830
Marker.
1355
01:22:28,831 --> 01:22:31,651
You broke my heart, kid.
1356
01:22:35,606 --> 01:22:39,845
I'll call it even if you put
in a good word with your sister.
1357
01:22:39,847 --> 01:22:45,706
'Cause she's like, phew,
I mean, know what I mean?
1358
01:22:49,193 --> 01:22:51,063
Oh my God.
1359
01:22:51,064 --> 01:22:53,416
Cut!
1360
01:23:08,585 --> 01:23:11,010
I'm so fucked up.
1361
01:23:13,861 --> 01:23:15,577
- Cut!
- Motherfucker.103037
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