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1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:03,053
Prudence, you have gotta come outside!
2
00:00:03,142 --> 00:00:04,282
I've just seen the biggest rock!
3
00:00:04,382 --> 00:00:05,804
- Oh!
- Oh, Zeke.
4
00:00:05,904 --> 00:00:07,765
Prudence, I'm so sorry.
I thought you were decent.
5
00:00:07,865 --> 00:00:10,607
Oh, it's okay. They're just ankles.
6
00:00:10,707 --> 00:00:12,328
Wanna help me cool them off?
7
00:00:12,428 --> 00:00:14,290
Prudence, you're a married woman.
8
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:16,176
Come on, Zekey.
9
00:00:16,201 --> 00:00:17,583
Use that big Bible
10
00:00:17,608 --> 00:00:19,829
to cool off my hot little ankles.
11
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:23,457
[SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYS]
12
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,558
Like, um...
13
00:00:26,399 --> 00:00:27,980
Like this?
14
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:29,661
Mmm, yeah, that's good.
15
00:00:29,686 --> 00:00:31,228
I can't believe
this is actually happening.
16
00:00:31,253 --> 00:00:33,674
- More.
- Your ankles are so bony.
17
00:00:33,924 --> 00:00:35,906
- [SIGHS]
- The bone really juts out.
18
00:00:35,931 --> 00:00:37,352
Faster.
19
00:00:37,377 --> 00:00:39,559
More. Oh, Zeke!
20
00:00:39,809 --> 00:00:41,630
- [MAN'S VOICE] Zeke. Zeke.
- Zeke! Zeke!
21
00:00:41,730 --> 00:00:44,552
- Zeke. Wake up, man.
- [THUNDER RUMBLES]
22
00:00:44,652 --> 00:00:45,994
You were thrashing around in your sleep.
23
00:00:46,019 --> 00:00:46,989
Oh, right. Sorry.
24
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,236
I wasn't saying anything, was I?
25
00:00:49,261 --> 00:00:50,562
Nope.
26
00:00:50,737 --> 00:00:53,239
Except you did say,
"I'm horny for ankles."
27
00:00:53,339 --> 00:00:54,600
That could mean almost anything.
28
00:00:54,625 --> 00:00:56,626
- No, it can't.
- No, it can't.
29
00:00:56,982 --> 00:01:04,982
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:01:27,204 --> 00:01:28,825
[OXEN MOOING]
31
00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:30,592
Oh, I hate this leg of the trip.
32
00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:31,988
Why did Thomas Jefferson
33
00:01:32,013 --> 00:01:33,914
have to buy this shit piece of land?
34
00:01:33,939 --> 00:01:35,681
Please don't get started
on Thomas Jefferson again.
35
00:01:35,931 --> 00:01:37,392
- Well, he was a crook.
- Oh, here we go.
36
00:01:37,417 --> 00:01:38,598
Ah, they're all crooks.
37
00:01:38,623 --> 00:01:39,804
But the Whig party on the other hand,
38
00:01:40,054 --> 00:01:41,795
now they're the party of the people.
39
00:01:41,820 --> 00:01:43,281
I don't think we should talk politics.
40
00:01:43,456 --> 00:01:45,358
A million and eleven,
41
00:01:45,458 --> 00:01:46,519
a million and twelve...
42
00:01:46,619 --> 00:01:47,519
a million, thirteen...
43
00:01:47,619 --> 00:01:49,572
a million, sign.
44
00:01:49,597 --> 00:01:50,767
Sign!
45
00:01:50,942 --> 00:01:52,243
- Hey, look!
- ZEKE: Whoa, whoa!
46
00:01:52,343 --> 00:01:53,684
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.
47
00:01:53,784 --> 00:01:54,791
Hey, look, it's a sign.
48
00:01:54,816 --> 00:01:56,366
Yeah! Branchwater.
49
00:01:56,466 --> 00:02:00,009
Oh, that is the nastiest
saloon town I've ever been to.
50
00:02:00,034 --> 00:02:02,055
And this is coming from
a guy who spent New Year's
51
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,571
at the Alabama Ass Factory.
52
00:02:03,671 --> 00:02:05,700
- Ooh.
- Sounds wild. Let's go!
53
00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:06,969
No, no, guys, if we're trying
54
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,115
to get to Oregon before winter,
55
00:02:08,153 --> 00:02:09,656
we do not have time for a detour.
56
00:02:09,756 --> 00:02:11,457
- [ALL GROAN]
- Come on, Zeke.
57
00:02:11,482 --> 00:02:13,464
These people need a break.
I need a break.
58
00:02:13,489 --> 00:02:15,390
It'll be good for morale.
59
00:02:15,415 --> 00:02:17,757
- I don't know.
- Please?
60
00:02:18,082 --> 00:02:19,823
Come on, please, please,
please, please, please?
61
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:20,899
Please, please, please, please.
62
00:02:20,924 --> 00:02:23,546
[SAXOPHONE MUSIC RESUMES]
63
00:02:23,571 --> 00:02:26,233
Oh... yes. Okay, one.
One night. That's it.
64
00:02:26,258 --> 00:02:28,840
Hey folks! We're going to Branchwater!
65
00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:31,792
[ALL CHEERING]
66
00:02:31,817 --> 00:02:33,158
Yes!
67
00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:34,394
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
68
00:02:34,494 --> 00:02:36,636
Hyah!
69
00:02:36,661 --> 00:02:38,242
Well, well, well.
70
00:02:38,417 --> 00:02:40,839
You see that, Angela?
71
00:02:40,864 --> 00:02:43,706
Looks like we're heading to Branchwater.
72
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,044
Oh, Angela! Did you fart again?
73
00:02:47,069 --> 00:02:49,571
I told you to stop eating dairy!
74
00:02:49,746 --> 00:02:51,447
BENNY: All right, folks, we made it!
75
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,008
It's party time!
76
00:02:53,033 --> 00:02:55,095
I'm getting so drunk,
I'm gonna piss myself.
77
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,461
Me too, honey.
78
00:02:56,711 --> 00:02:57,972
Are you coming in?
79
00:02:57,997 --> 00:02:59,680
No, I'm just gonna wait by the wagon
80
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,415
and protect my soul
from eternal damnation.
81
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:03,821
But you have fun. Come on!
82
00:03:03,846 --> 00:03:05,828
I just want to party
with my best friend.
83
00:03:06,078 --> 00:03:08,860
And ooh! Wait. Do I hear God?
84
00:03:08,885 --> 00:03:11,347
"Zeke, I command thee to have fun
85
00:03:11,372 --> 00:03:12,593
for once in your life."
86
00:03:12,618 --> 00:03:14,199
No, that's deeply sacrilegious, Pru.
87
00:03:14,224 --> 00:03:16,806
"And buy Prudence shots.
Lots and lots of shots."
88
00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:18,172
As I said, no thanks.
89
00:03:18,647 --> 00:03:20,689
A place like this is
no place for a reverend.
90
00:03:21,561 --> 00:03:23,663
[SIGHS] All right, fine.
91
00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:25,992
You know, you should try to loosen up.
92
00:03:26,213 --> 00:03:28,234
Just once. I don't know.
You might like it.
93
00:03:28,259 --> 00:03:30,736
The Bible is what I like.
94
00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:33,452
"These are the names
of the sons of Abraham,
95
00:03:33,477 --> 00:03:36,179
"according to their families,
after their places,
96
00:03:36,521 --> 00:03:37,742
by their names."
97
00:03:37,902 --> 00:03:39,403
- [OX GRUNTS]
- Fun.
98
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:40,358
Fun, fun, fun.
99
00:03:40,383 --> 00:03:42,265
All right, folks.
100
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,886
I say we hit the bar first,
101
00:03:43,986 --> 00:03:45,447
and then we check out the brothel.
102
00:03:45,547 --> 00:03:47,209
Oh, I am so sorry. Unfortunately,
103
00:03:47,309 --> 00:03:49,730
- we are at capacity right now.
- Capacity?
104
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:50,931
They used to pack this place
105
00:03:50,956 --> 00:03:52,047
tighter than a sardine barrel.
106
00:03:52,072 --> 00:03:53,653
Oh, you're one of the old-timers.
107
00:03:53,753 --> 00:03:54,929
Yeah, the Oregon Trail
108
00:03:54,954 --> 00:03:56,776
brought in a ton of new customers,
109
00:03:56,876 --> 00:03:58,737
so management made a few changes
110
00:03:58,837 --> 00:04:00,539
to appeal to a wider clientele.
111
00:04:00,639 --> 00:04:01,819
But if you want to wait
by the gift shop,
112
00:04:01,919 --> 00:04:04,061
I'll let you know as soon as
some space opens up.
113
00:04:04,343 --> 00:04:05,782
Gift shop?
114
00:04:05,807 --> 00:04:07,984
Key chains? T-shirts?
115
00:04:08,084 --> 00:04:10,946
"The Original Devil's Taint Cookbook"?
116
00:04:11,046 --> 00:04:12,748
What the hell happened to this place?
117
00:04:12,848 --> 00:04:14,149
It totally sold out.
118
00:04:14,249 --> 00:04:16,230
Hairy bastard!
119
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:19,192
Is that what passes as
a saloon brawl these days?
120
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,558
Pretty weak.
121
00:04:20,583 --> 00:04:22,135
Looks like some space just opened up.
122
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:24,962
- Enjoy.
- Let's go.
123
00:04:25,137 --> 00:04:28,239
"And though shalt know
that I am the Lord."
124
00:04:28,264 --> 00:04:30,566
Whoo! Evenin', my lad!
125
00:04:30,591 --> 00:04:32,813
What's a handsome young fella like you
126
00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:34,945
doing here all alone
instead of out on the town?
127
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,792
Oh, well, no, it's not really my scene.
128
00:04:36,817 --> 00:04:38,198
I'm... I'm... I'm a reverend.
129
00:04:38,267 --> 00:04:40,309
Then we both do the Lord's work.
130
00:04:40,334 --> 00:04:42,036
I peddle miracle cures.
131
00:04:42,230 --> 00:04:44,566
- I'm a snake oil salesman.
- Snake oil?
132
00:04:44,591 --> 00:04:46,579
Um... no offense, but,
133
00:04:46,604 --> 00:04:48,814
- isn't that just a bunch of hokum?
- Not at all.
134
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:51,817
Snake oil is a potent aphrodisiac.
135
00:04:51,842 --> 00:04:54,339
Might come in handy
with that young missus
136
00:04:54,364 --> 00:04:55,580
I saw you with earlier?
137
00:04:55,605 --> 00:04:56,820
Oh, that lady's not my missus.
138
00:04:56,845 --> 00:04:58,181
We're just friends.
139
00:04:58,281 --> 00:05:01,064
My mistake. Snake oil
is not merely an aphrodisiac,
140
00:05:01,089 --> 00:05:02,825
it's also quite good with hair loss.
141
00:05:02,850 --> 00:05:04,426
Oh. I don't have that issue.
142
00:05:04,451 --> 00:05:05,787
Well, what do you got? Back pain?
143
00:05:05,812 --> 00:05:06,823
- No.
- Tennis elbow?
144
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,829
- No.
- The pox.
145
00:05:07,860 --> 00:05:09,008
- No, not yet.
- Burgundy stool.
146
00:05:09,049 --> 00:05:10,511
- No.
- Uh, anxiety?
147
00:05:10,536 --> 00:05:11,832
Oh, my friend did just tell me
148
00:05:11,857 --> 00:05:13,933
I could stand to loosen up a bit.
149
00:05:14,233 --> 00:05:16,835
That's what snake oil is for!
150
00:05:16,860 --> 00:05:18,557
But don't take my word for it.
151
00:05:18,657 --> 00:05:20,904
Here. Try one of my samples.
152
00:05:20,933 --> 00:05:22,520
See for yourself.
153
00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:23,907
Thank you.
154
00:05:27,269 --> 00:05:28,891
Oh. Oh, that's good.
155
00:05:29,158 --> 00:05:30,699
Yeah. Oh, it's got an aftertaste.
156
00:05:30,724 --> 00:05:31,865
Yeah, kinda snakey.
157
00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:33,231
Now you only need a little bit.
158
00:05:33,256 --> 00:05:34,802
Just one or two drops
159
00:05:34,826 --> 00:05:35,814
- ought to do it.
- [GULPING] Mmm!
160
00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:37,971
Hey, man. Don't tell me
how to live my life.
161
00:05:37,996 --> 00:05:39,998
Shit, this stuff's great.
162
00:05:41,033 --> 00:05:42,575
- Are you gonna be all right here?
- Oh, yes.
163
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,817
I'll just amuse myself by
looking at the pretty bottles.
164
00:05:45,842 --> 00:05:47,098
All right, I'm gonna go
find the poker table,
165
00:05:47,123 --> 00:05:48,459
throw some cash around
with the big boys.
166
00:05:48,484 --> 00:05:49,585
Wish me luck.
167
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,026
[SIGHS]
168
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,207
Hey, barkeep. Whiskey.
169
00:05:55,324 --> 00:05:56,705
[SHRILL LAUGHTER]
170
00:05:56,805 --> 00:05:58,667
And so that is why
171
00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,588
I raised the prices
on the Tijuana Coochie Twist.
172
00:06:00,688 --> 00:06:02,750
Finally, girl. That move is worth it.
173
00:06:02,843 --> 00:06:05,111
- [LAUGHTER]
- Um, excuse me.
174
00:06:05,136 --> 00:06:07,638
Are you ladies women of the night?
175
00:06:07,813 --> 00:06:09,154
[ALL GASP]
176
00:06:09,179 --> 00:06:10,520
It's the 1840s.
177
00:06:10,545 --> 00:06:12,193
The preferred term is whores.
178
00:06:12,217 --> 00:06:15,879
Oh, sorry. Didn't mean
to offend you... whores.
179
00:06:15,979 --> 00:06:17,881
I just think what you do is so amazing.
180
00:06:17,981 --> 00:06:19,302
It's always sounded so exotic.
181
00:06:19,327 --> 00:06:20,583
Well, would you want to give it a try?
182
00:06:20,663 --> 00:06:22,404
[SCOFFS] What? No!
183
00:06:22,504 --> 00:06:24,045
Me? Come... really?
184
00:06:24,070 --> 00:06:26,047
Come on, let's just get you
into a dress.
185
00:06:26,147 --> 00:06:28,209
We have one exactly your size.
186
00:06:28,309 --> 00:06:30,165
One of the girls was just
stabbed to death in it.
187
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:33,272
- Oh. Just my luck.
- [LAUGHTER]
188
00:06:35,714 --> 00:06:37,255
[CLEARS THROAT] Excuse me, boys.
189
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:38,216
You mind if I join?
190
00:06:38,241 --> 00:06:39,937
This ain't no game for a gentleman.
191
00:06:40,037 --> 00:06:41,699
I may be a gentleman,
192
00:06:41,799 --> 00:06:44,261
but, uh... whew.
193
00:06:44,286 --> 00:06:45,622
My friends here...
194
00:06:45,722 --> 00:06:47,763
well, they play real dirty.
195
00:06:48,864 --> 00:06:50,866
Take a seat.
196
00:06:53,527 --> 00:06:55,529
Interesting.
197
00:06:57,623 --> 00:06:58,724
All in.
198
00:06:58,891 --> 00:07:00,272
Full house.
199
00:07:00,297 --> 00:07:01,755
Shit!
200
00:07:03,415 --> 00:07:04,916
[CLEARS THROAT] That's...
201
00:07:05,062 --> 00:07:07,124
Okay. Let me just, um...
202
00:07:07,258 --> 00:07:09,319
Okay.
203
00:07:09,344 --> 00:07:11,246
Now I'm focused.
204
00:07:11,421 --> 00:07:12,436
I'm sorry, madam,
205
00:07:12,461 --> 00:07:14,643
this prostitution menu is ridiculous.
206
00:07:14,743 --> 00:07:16,284
There's too many choices.
207
00:07:16,384 --> 00:07:17,765
I remember when all you could order
208
00:07:17,790 --> 00:07:19,132
was a 2-buck pump and dump.
209
00:07:19,307 --> 00:07:21,308
And that was all you needed.
210
00:07:22,402 --> 00:07:24,403
Benny the Teen.
211
00:07:26,752 --> 00:07:28,854
Choose your last words carefully,
212
00:07:28,954 --> 00:07:32,036
because this time,
there'll be no escape.
213
00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:35,699
Whoopsie! I'll take that.
214
00:07:35,724 --> 00:07:37,585
This is a no-shooting
establishment after 6:00.
215
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,181
You can grab your gun from the valet
216
00:07:39,281 --> 00:07:40,963
on your way out. Thank you so much!
217
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:42,018
Cute hat.
218
00:07:42,043 --> 00:07:43,705
I'm sorry, what the hell?
219
00:07:43,805 --> 00:07:46,307
I know! This place sucks now.
220
00:07:46,407 --> 00:07:48,408
What the [BLEEP]?
221
00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:53,893
Almost done! And...
222
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,447
Voila.
223
00:07:55,472 --> 00:07:58,326
Oh, my God. I look like a whore.
224
00:07:58,351 --> 00:07:59,797
And I love it!
225
00:07:59,822 --> 00:08:01,563
Girl, you're like a young Betsy Ross,
226
00:08:01,588 --> 00:08:04,450
- but like, a whore.
- [LAUGHS]
227
00:08:04,599 --> 00:08:06,141
Ha, ha!
228
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:08,868
Howdy, folks. Somebody order a party?
229
00:08:08,975 --> 00:08:12,286
- Reverend Brown?
- Farmer John! Looking sexy!
230
00:08:12,311 --> 00:08:14,613
Granny McGill, we are doing shots later
231
00:08:14,638 --> 00:08:16,639
and you're not getting out of it.
232
00:08:17,390 --> 00:08:18,571
Zeke, is that you?
233
00:08:18,671 --> 00:08:21,653
- [GASPS]
- WHORES: Your first client!
234
00:08:21,698 --> 00:08:23,975
Whoa, Prude! Is that you?
235
00:08:24,075 --> 00:08:25,336
What do you think?
Just a little something
236
00:08:25,436 --> 00:08:27,583
I picked up from a dead whore's closet.
237
00:08:27,705 --> 00:08:28,838
Thought you were waiting in the wagon.
238
00:08:28,918 --> 00:08:30,820
Hmm, well, yes, I was. But then,
239
00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:32,746
I had a little bit of this snake oil,
240
00:08:32,771 --> 00:08:34,353
and now I'm feeling good.
241
00:08:34,523 --> 00:08:37,025
Reverend Brown gettin' down
with snake oil?
242
00:08:37,205 --> 00:08:38,421
- What would Jesus think?
- Bleagh!
243
00:08:38,446 --> 00:08:40,307
Who cares what he thinks? Aah! [LAUGHS]
244
00:08:40,407 --> 00:08:41,788
I've lived my whole life
with all those rules
245
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:43,499
and restrictions.
I've been such a dork, right?
246
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:44,790
- I mean, yeah, a little.
- Yeah!
247
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:45,991
I just want to scream it
out to the world...
248
00:08:46,091 --> 00:08:48,184
Reverend Ezekiel Brown
is a big fat dork!
249
00:08:48,209 --> 00:08:49,754
Oh, my God! Stop.
250
00:08:49,854 --> 00:08:51,796
- But don't. I love it.
- You hearing that music?
251
00:08:51,821 --> 00:08:53,036
Is it coming from the piano
or is it coming
252
00:08:53,061 --> 00:08:54,217
- straight from my heart?
- Do you want to dance?
253
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,704
No, Prudence, I don't want to dance.
254
00:08:56,859 --> 00:08:58,440
- I need to dance.
- [GIGGLES]
255
00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:00,762
I mean, what the hell
happened to this place?
256
00:09:00,787 --> 00:09:02,644
Used to be you could come in
any night of the week
257
00:09:02,669 --> 00:09:04,450
and you'd find Three-Fingered Joe
258
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,206
strangling anyone who
looked at him sideways.
259
00:09:06,306 --> 00:09:07,848
- Oh, Dirty Dick Bob.
- Right?
260
00:09:07,873 --> 00:09:08,917
Sticking his you-know-what
261
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:10,249
into whatever hole he could find.
262
00:09:10,275 --> 00:09:12,017
Kids these days are buying cowboy hats
263
00:09:12,077 --> 00:09:13,618
with bullet holes already in them.
264
00:09:13,685 --> 00:09:14,906
- You're kidding!
- No!
265
00:09:14,931 --> 00:09:17,169
Sorry for that long wait.
Now what can I get you?
266
00:09:17,194 --> 00:09:19,016
I'll have a steak, bloody.
267
00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:20,662
- Make that two.
- Ooh, sorry.
268
00:09:20,687 --> 00:09:22,386
We actually stopped carrying steak.
269
00:09:22,438 --> 00:09:24,460
- No steak?
- We do have shishito peppers,
270
00:09:24,485 --> 00:09:26,907
that are lightly drizzled
with Ortega cheese,
271
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:29,003
that are just absolutely mmm!
272
00:09:29,243 --> 00:09:30,865
All right, that's it. I've had enough!
273
00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:31,991
[POUNDS TABLE, OBJECTS CLATTER]
274
00:09:32,016 --> 00:09:33,717
That's what's wrong
with this country today!
275
00:09:33,742 --> 00:09:35,844
You make everything clean and nice
276
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,879
and pretty for everyone,
but then you lose
277
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:40,192
what makes it cool
and authentic and real!
278
00:09:40,217 --> 00:09:42,118
I want the grit! I want the soul!
279
00:09:42,143 --> 00:09:44,645
- Yeah!
- Most of all, I want my goddamn steak!
280
00:09:44,821 --> 00:09:46,202
Do you want to speak to the manager?
281
00:09:46,227 --> 00:09:48,449
Yes, I'd like to speak
to the manager, thank you.
282
00:09:48,624 --> 00:09:49,965
Ho ho, that was great!
283
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,431
Was the fist slam too much?
284
00:09:51,456 --> 00:09:52,814
No, it was perfect.
285
00:09:52,839 --> 00:09:54,411
Ow.
286
00:09:55,223 --> 00:09:57,725
Well, it has not been
my night. [CHUCKLES]
287
00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:59,171
I almost had you on that last hand.
288
00:09:59,426 --> 00:10:01,427
Just... [CLEARS THROAT] Okay.
289
00:10:02,681 --> 00:10:03,782
Hoo! Finally.
290
00:10:03,807 --> 00:10:06,289
Okay, looks like my ship has come in.
291
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:10,201
- I'll raise.
- Sorry, pardner,
292
00:10:10,226 --> 00:10:11,639
but you got nothing left to raise with.
293
00:10:11,664 --> 00:10:14,726
I have more money, in my wagon.
294
00:10:14,751 --> 00:10:16,053
Well, I'm good for it. I swear.
295
00:10:16,439 --> 00:10:19,581
I'll take the gentleman's
word for it. Let's see.
296
00:10:19,681 --> 00:10:21,532
Four aces.
297
00:10:21,561 --> 00:10:23,744
Read 'em and weep, you filthy bastards!
298
00:10:23,769 --> 00:10:25,150
Not so fast.
299
00:10:25,175 --> 00:10:26,266
Five aces.
300
00:10:26,366 --> 00:10:28,428
What? How is that even possible?
301
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:29,348
Hold on.
302
00:10:29,448 --> 00:10:32,150
- Twelve aces.
- MAN: Dang it!
303
00:10:32,250 --> 00:10:35,553
I do not understand
the rules of this game.
304
00:10:35,653 --> 00:10:37,955
Gentlemen, you wanted to speak
with the manager?
305
00:10:37,980 --> 00:10:39,356
You're damn right we want to...
306
00:10:39,456 --> 00:10:41,998
- Dirty Dick Bob?
- Benny the Teen?
307
00:10:42,098 --> 00:10:43,679
Bounty hunter with no name?
308
00:10:43,704 --> 00:10:45,040
How the hell are you guys?
309
00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:47,081
We were just talking about you!
310
00:10:47,181 --> 00:10:49,003
- What?
- How'd they let a nasty pervert
311
00:10:49,103 --> 00:10:51,845
like Dirty Dick Bob
run a slick joint like this?
312
00:10:51,945 --> 00:10:54,087
Actually, it's Dirty Dick Robert now.
313
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:55,728
I run the front of the house,
314
00:10:55,753 --> 00:10:56,915
and my wife handles the books.
315
00:10:56,949 --> 00:10:58,530
- You have a wife?
- I sure do.
316
00:10:58,555 --> 00:11:01,017
I can't believe it!
You used to stick your dick
317
00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:02,333
into anything that moved!
318
00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:03,529
And plenty of stuff that didn't!
319
00:11:03,554 --> 00:11:06,016
Yes, I did fornicate with objects,
320
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,982
but you can't stay young forever.
321
00:11:08,157 --> 00:11:09,778
Eventually you gotta grow up
322
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,465
and start having a real life.
323
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,662
But enough about me.
What have you guys been up to?
324
00:11:14,762 --> 00:11:16,223
Oh, you know, mostly the same stuff.
325
00:11:16,248 --> 00:11:17,499
You know, chasing this guy.
326
00:11:17,524 --> 00:11:19,706
Yeah, the same. Being chased by him.
327
00:11:19,806 --> 00:11:23,549
Wow, so you guys are still
doing that whole thing.
328
00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:25,950
Well, cool. Very cool.
329
00:11:25,975 --> 00:11:27,997
[STAMMERS] I'd love to stay and chat,
330
00:11:28,025 --> 00:11:29,726
but I should get back to work.
331
00:11:29,973 --> 00:11:31,893
Sure, but maybe we could
all hang out sometime.
332
00:11:31,918 --> 00:11:34,202
Maybe. It... it's difficult
with the kids and all.
333
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,688
Hostess, more
shishito peppers over here!
334
00:11:36,713 --> 00:11:38,655
On the house! [LAUGHS]
335
00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:40,281
Huh.
336
00:11:40,381 --> 00:11:41,682
Yeah.
337
00:11:41,707 --> 00:11:43,003
- [CHEERING]
- [PIANO PLAYING]
338
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,724
My skin feels electric.
339
00:11:44,824 --> 00:11:46,286
Touch it! It's electric, right?
340
00:11:46,386 --> 00:11:47,687
Why can't it be like this forever?
341
00:11:47,787 --> 00:11:50,168
I don't want to go to stupid
Oregon and be a boring wife.
342
00:11:50,268 --> 00:11:52,250
Shh! Shh! Shush your mouth right now.
343
00:11:52,350 --> 00:11:54,131
- I'm shushing.
- Nothing has to change after this trip.
344
00:11:54,231 --> 00:11:56,773
It's your life, and you can do
whatever you want to do,
345
00:11:56,873 --> 00:11:58,134
and be whoever you want to be.
346
00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,220
You're right. Thanks, Zeke.
347
00:12:00,245 --> 00:12:01,417
I have an idea.
348
00:12:01,517 --> 00:12:02,818
Why don't we do some more snake oil?
349
00:12:02,918 --> 00:12:04,139
Are you sure you need any more?
350
00:12:04,239 --> 00:12:05,500
- We're already having fun.
- But think about it...
351
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,181
If we're having fun now,
things will be extra fun
352
00:12:07,206 --> 00:12:08,860
with more snake oil!
That's just basic math.
353
00:12:08,922 --> 00:12:10,984
- Still a pass for me. Thanks, though.
- Oh, all right, Mom.
354
00:12:11,009 --> 00:12:13,201
More yum-yums for Freaky Zekey.
355
00:12:13,249 --> 00:12:14,288
Whoa, easy, champ.
356
00:12:14,326 --> 00:12:16,148
Okay, Zeke, no. Come on.
357
00:12:16,173 --> 00:12:18,114
You need to take it down,
like, so many notches.
358
00:12:18,148 --> 00:12:19,786
- You're acting out of control.
- Out of control? No.
359
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,796
I am in control for
the first time in my life.
360
00:12:21,932 --> 00:12:24,114
There are no consequences
to my actions. I'm free!
361
00:12:24,173 --> 00:12:25,590
[SLOWED-DOWN EVIL LAUGHTER]
362
00:12:25,615 --> 00:12:27,316
You're next, Ezekiel.
363
00:12:27,341 --> 00:12:29,383
Ahh! The devil has come for my soul!
364
00:12:30,865 --> 00:12:32,866
I just meant his song request is next.
365
00:12:33,874 --> 00:12:35,876
- [SIGHS]
- Zeke.
366
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:38,284
Maybe my girlfriend's right.
367
00:12:38,384 --> 00:12:41,026
Maybe I do come on too strong.
368
00:12:44,887 --> 00:12:47,491
Can you believe Dirty Dick Bob sold out?
369
00:12:47,591 --> 00:12:50,013
- What a loser, huh?
- I don't know, Benny.
370
00:12:50,113 --> 00:12:52,115
What if we're the losers?
371
00:12:53,235 --> 00:12:55,577
What are you talking about?
We're the only real ones left.
372
00:12:55,602 --> 00:12:57,053
- Remember?
- Are we?
373
00:12:57,078 --> 00:12:58,219
Look at us.
374
00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,700
We're doing the same thing
375
00:12:59,725 --> 00:13:00,866
we were doing since we were kids.
376
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:05,144
We don't have families
or houses or real jobs.
377
00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:07,106
It's kinda pathetic, isn't it?
378
00:13:07,206 --> 00:13:08,982
Let me ask you something...
do you love it?
379
00:13:09,007 --> 00:13:10,949
- Oh, stop it.
- Do you love it?
380
00:13:10,974 --> 00:13:12,375
Of course I love it.
381
00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:16,391
But there comes a time
when you have to move on.
382
00:13:16,416 --> 00:13:18,900
Leave childish things behind.
383
00:13:20,615 --> 00:13:22,616
I'm hanging up my hat.
384
00:13:23,992 --> 00:13:25,660
Maybe you should, too.
385
00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:28,708
Dingus.
386
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,285
PRUDENCE: Zeke.
387
00:13:32,385 --> 00:13:33,560
- BOTH: Ooh.
- Todd.
388
00:13:33,585 --> 00:13:34,927
I... I didn't expect you
to see me like this.
389
00:13:34,952 --> 00:13:36,893
Sorry, whore, I don't have time
for your cheap tricks.
390
00:13:36,918 --> 00:13:39,060
I just gambled away my entire fortune.
391
00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:41,251
- You did what?
- Yeah, don't tell the missus.
392
00:13:41,351 --> 00:13:43,093
Anyway, I gotta get out of here quick
393
00:13:43,118 --> 00:13:45,820
before those big stinkin' lugs find me.
394
00:13:45,995 --> 00:13:47,352
[GASPS]
395
00:13:48,156 --> 00:13:49,537
I've been looking all over for you.
396
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:52,465
The only thing I'm
looking for is your blood.
397
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,582
- What's going on?
- [PIANO INTRO PLAYS]
398
00:13:56,110 --> 00:14:00,531
?? She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ??
399
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:06,870
?? She'll be coming round the
mountain when she comes ??
400
00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:09,060
Holy smokes! Is that the reverend?
401
00:14:09,185 --> 00:14:11,274
What's he doing up there?
402
00:14:11,374 --> 00:14:13,795
Look at those dead shark eyes.
403
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:15,397
Does he even know where he is?
404
00:14:15,497 --> 00:14:18,119
I think he's just completely
out of his mind at this point.
405
00:14:18,219 --> 00:14:20,280
?? The mountain ??
406
00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:24,343
?? When she comes ??
407
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:29,727
?? She'll be driving six white
horses when she comes ??
408
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:34,171
?? She'll be driving six
white horses when she comes ??
409
00:14:34,271 --> 00:14:36,372
Shake it, baby!
410
00:14:36,472 --> 00:14:37,973
?? She'll be driving six white horses ??
411
00:14:38,073 --> 00:14:42,097
?? She'll be driving six white
horses when she comes ??
412
00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:44,278
[DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES]
413
00:14:59,489 --> 00:15:01,351
?? She'll be coming round the mountain
414
00:15:01,451 --> 00:15:03,432
- ?? When she comes ??
- ?? When she comes ??
415
00:15:03,532 --> 00:15:05,394
?? She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ??
416
00:15:05,494 --> 00:15:07,235
- ?? When she comes ??
- ?? When she comes ??
417
00:15:07,335 --> 00:15:09,277
?? She'll be coming round
the mountain ??
418
00:15:09,377 --> 00:15:10,838
?? She'll be coming
round the mountain ??
419
00:15:10,938 --> 00:15:14,761
?? She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ??
420
00:15:14,861 --> 00:15:17,163
?? Comes, comes, comes ??
421
00:15:17,263 --> 00:15:21,406
?? Comes, comes, comes, comes, comes ??
422
00:15:21,506 --> 00:15:23,688
[DISCORDANT PIANO FLOURISH]
423
00:15:23,788 --> 00:15:25,789
[WEAK APPLAUSE]
424
00:15:28,031 --> 00:15:29,652
Hey. [KISSES]
425
00:15:29,752 --> 00:15:31,753
[CLEARS THROAT]
426
00:15:34,529 --> 00:15:36,190
Zeke, that was...
427
00:15:36,397 --> 00:15:37,978
I didn't even know what to say.
428
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,377
Just... wow.
429
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,980
Prudence, there is something
430
00:15:41,005 --> 00:15:43,167
I've wanted to do for a long time.
431
00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:55,992
- Honk, honk.
- Excuse me?
432
00:15:56,092 --> 00:15:57,913
Beep beep! Arooga!
433
00:15:58,013 --> 00:16:00,015
Well, that was unexpected.
434
00:16:03,057 --> 00:16:05,319
Pro tip? Rob him while he's out.
435
00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:06,965
Here, I'll show you.
436
00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:08,731
Oh, nice. He's got a Bible.
437
00:16:08,981 --> 00:16:10,482
- [LIQUID POURING]
- [ROOSTER CROWS]
438
00:16:10,582 --> 00:16:12,764
Oh, we got most of the glitter off,
439
00:16:12,864 --> 00:16:15,086
and some coffee should help
the headache.
440
00:16:15,186 --> 00:16:17,187
Thank you, Granny.
441
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:23,812
Prudence, I believe
a massive apology is in order.
442
00:16:23,837 --> 00:16:26,259
Obviously I was totally
out of my mind last night
443
00:16:26,284 --> 00:16:28,049
and I just hope you know
that none of that
444
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:29,251
would've happened had it not been
445
00:16:29,276 --> 00:16:31,298
- for the snake oil.
- Sorry to interrupt,
446
00:16:31,398 --> 00:16:33,660
but, uh, to protect myself legally
447
00:16:33,685 --> 00:16:37,364
I should mention that snake oil
is completely fraudulent
448
00:16:37,389 --> 00:16:39,874
- and has no effects whatsoever.
- What?
449
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,506
You kids take care.
450
00:16:41,606 --> 00:16:44,027
No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
451
00:16:44,052 --> 00:16:45,714
You were saying?
452
00:16:45,889 --> 00:16:47,470
So if snake oil is fake then
453
00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:49,867
everything I did last night was just me?
454
00:16:50,973 --> 00:16:52,354
Yeah.
455
00:16:52,454 --> 00:16:54,075
I'm disgusting.
I'm worse than disgusting.
456
00:16:54,175 --> 00:16:55,676
- I'm a sinner.
- It wasn't great,
457
00:16:55,776 --> 00:16:57,317
- but I wouldn't go that far.
- No, you don't understand.
458
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,919
I've committed a cardinal sin.
I've coveted my...
459
00:17:00,660 --> 00:17:01,641
neighbor's wife.
460
00:17:01,741 --> 00:17:04,323
What, what do you mean, you covet me?
461
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,724
Like, covet, covet?
462
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:09,887
Yeah, like covet, covet.
463
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,529
But, you're my best friend.
464
00:17:12,629 --> 00:17:14,210
- I know.
- And I'm married.
465
00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:16,612
I know. Look, Pru, I'm so sorry.
466
00:17:16,712 --> 00:17:18,693
I tried to bury these feelings
for a long time.
467
00:17:18,793 --> 00:17:21,736
I'm sorry, this is a lot to take in.
468
00:17:21,761 --> 00:17:23,762
I'm gonna go.
469
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:25,538
Girl troubles, huh?
470
00:17:25,638 --> 00:17:27,300
You know the best cure for that?
471
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,902
- Snake oil.
- You just told me it was fake.
472
00:17:30,002 --> 00:17:32,143
Shit.
473
00:17:32,243 --> 00:17:36,466
??????
474
00:17:36,566 --> 00:17:39,269
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
475
00:17:39,369 --> 00:17:41,310
Yeah, you know, this feels kinda weird.
476
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:42,951
Guess I thought
we'd be doing this forever.
477
00:17:43,051 --> 00:17:45,673
You're a free man, right?
478
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:48,075
You finally got away from me,
fair and square.
479
00:17:48,509 --> 00:17:50,117
You take care, Benny the Teen.
480
00:17:50,217 --> 00:17:52,238
You too, nameless bounty hunter guy.
481
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:58,883
??????
482
00:17:58,983 --> 00:18:00,404
Hey.
483
00:18:00,504 --> 00:18:03,126
My fingers are feeling a little sticky.
484
00:18:03,226 --> 00:18:05,288
I'm thinking I might steal this horse.
485
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,904
Okay, don't do that.
You know that's a felony.
486
00:18:09,431 --> 00:18:11,733
Oops. Did I do that?
487
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,655
All right, you'd
better stop that, Benjamin.
488
00:18:14,755 --> 00:18:16,495
Or what?
489
00:18:17,157 --> 00:18:18,778
You gonna shoot me for being naughty?
490
00:18:18,878 --> 00:18:20,539
[CHUCKLES]
491
00:18:20,639 --> 00:18:22,461
Are we really doing this?
492
00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:25,863
I don't know. Are we?
493
00:18:25,888 --> 00:18:28,070
All right, dirtbag.
494
00:18:28,198 --> 00:18:29,979
I'm gonna give you
a 60-second head start
495
00:18:30,004 --> 00:18:32,146
before I shoot you full of lead.
496
00:18:32,368 --> 00:18:34,190
The only thing you'll be shooting
497
00:18:34,290 --> 00:18:35,711
is my dust.
498
00:18:35,811 --> 00:18:37,672
Whoosh! Whoo hoo hoo!
499
00:18:37,772 --> 00:18:40,554
60, 59, 58...
500
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:42,316
All right, people,
we gotta get a move on!
501
00:18:42,416 --> 00:18:44,437
Got a bounty hunter hot on my ass!
502
00:18:44,537 --> 00:18:46,639
Ooh. Wild night, huh?
503
00:18:46,664 --> 00:18:48,966
- Don't want to talk about it.
- Fair enough. Hyah!
504
00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:52,563
[BENNY HUMMING "SHE'LL BE
COMING ROUND THE MOUNTAIN"]
505
00:18:52,588 --> 00:18:54,009
- [ZEKE SIGHS]
- BENNY: What?
506
00:18:54,097 --> 00:18:56,099
You don't feel like singing now?
507
00:18:57,642 --> 00:18:59,729
Five, four, three,
508
00:18:59,829 --> 00:19:02,891
two, one. Ready or not, here I come!
509
00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:05,413
Oh, shoot! Where's my gun?
510
00:19:05,513 --> 00:19:07,514
Oh, shoot, I left it at the valet!
511
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:12,358
Hi! Hi. Um, I'm the cute
silver one in the back.
512
00:19:13,679 --> 00:19:15,500
Um, I don't have my ticket,
513
00:19:15,525 --> 00:19:17,227
but if you give me that gun,
I won't shoot you.
514
00:19:17,402 --> 00:19:19,183
Have a great day!
515
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,885
[YELLS] I'm coming for you, Benny!
516
00:19:21,935 --> 00:19:26,485
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