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MUSIC: Love Shine A Light
by Katrina and the Waves
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00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,680
Love shine a light
in every corner of my heart
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Let the love light carry,
let the love light carry.
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00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:17,560
Arise, sweet neighbours
and come all ye faithful,
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00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,680
for it is I, Gary.
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00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:23,800
I know it has been a tough year,
I do know that.
7
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:28,440
But surf upon my shoulders
and come with me
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00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:31,320
and let us turn this crescent
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00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,320
into a symbol of glowing unity,
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00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:38,760
with the Butterchurn Crescent
Christmas lights display.
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00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,360
Baby, slow down.
Quick and slow, babe,
12
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:41,840
I'm running out of Crescent, babe.
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00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,200
Well, I can't go any slower, I'm
the riding the clutch here, babe.
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00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,200
SPEAKS FASTER: Our true job is to
make these lights not only the best
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00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,640
in England but the best ones in
all of the world there's ever been,
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00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:55,080
ever, of all time,
of all time, I say.
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00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,520
That's it, babe, you's fudged it,
you's fudged it.
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00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,360
Get down off there
and turn that racket off.
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00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,920
Ain't even a Christmas song.
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00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,920
Well, it's inspirational
and it's about lights, Dad.
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00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,280
Listen we've all had a chat and the
feeling is, everyone's skint.
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00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:09,520
We can't afford the lights.
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00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,400
We're going to have a year off.
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00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,680
Whatever next, Dad?
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00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,520
One year becomes three, three
becomes six, and then you're ten
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00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:21,000
years down the line and kids don't
even know what Christmas is no more.
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You can't put a price on the
happiness that these lights bring.
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No. No lights.
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We're having a cutback Christmas,
no lavish gifts,
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00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:33,000
no bird-within-a-bird-within-a-bird,
and we are doing Secret Santa.
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00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,520
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No way to Secret Santa.
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00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,320
Secret Santa? Like Secret Santa?
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Yes, and we will be doing
a 20 quid spending limit.
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Oh, my God.
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00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,400
I've already got everything
that's worth 20 quid.
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00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,960
Don't talk soppy, you fanny!
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00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:48,400
You need to focus your energies
on the business,
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00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,120
cos we've had a rocky year.
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00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,280
Don't you worry about the business,
I have a festive lunch with
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00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,000
Les Fenwick about an ickle bit
of a business he's got.
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00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,560
You're having lunch
with Les Fenwick?
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00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,160
You never told me about that.
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00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,800
Well, I didn't know about your
secret Christmas lights mutiny.
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I will conquer Fenwick.
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00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,200
I will seal the deal
and I will save Christmas.
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00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,080
Bubba-lugs, I know you've got a lot
going on in your brain right now
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00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,680
but I'm really going to need
you to try and focus. OK?
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00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,480
It's just for me, Christmas should
be swaddled in happiness
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00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,640
and it's currently under threat
from a bunch of Ebenezers, so...
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00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:37,120
Yeah, which is precisely why we need
to bring the joy to everyone, yeah?
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00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,160
I know.
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00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,120
I mean, like, for me, a TikTok
is like, so much better than a
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00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,640
Christmas card, it's like original,
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00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,680
uniqueness and environmental cheek,
so...
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00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,760
The way that you pull a concept
together literally just
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00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,760
blows my mind.
I know, I know.
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00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,200
Right, up on your feet
please, everyone.
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OK, chop, chop.
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00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,080
Now, listen, I ain't expecting you
both to nail this straight away,
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00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,960
it's a very complex routine,
so it takes as long as it takes.
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00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,640
So buckle up because I need this
to be utter perfection
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00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,080
and every time I'm looking in
your eyes, I need you to be giving
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00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,040
it the full a honey-p,
a honey-p at the time, all right?
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00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,440
Thank you, maestro.
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00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,760
REGGAE BEATS PLAY
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00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,920
Bang bang boom, cha-crutch.
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Have some of that.
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00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,560
Hello.
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00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:43,160
Oh, mate, that was, babe, that was
just incredible dancing and stuff.
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00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,720
Complex though, right?
Yeah, challenging.
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00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,880
What do you reckon then, Teds, eh?
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00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,440
It's just I'm not really feeling
the TikToking loving from ya.
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00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:54,240
I'm not doing one of your dances,
they're embarrassing.
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00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,680
Embarrassing? OK.
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00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,040
Sure, I mean like, my Bathroom
Skank only got like 25,000 views
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00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,080
in lockdown but it,
but it's embarrassing apparently.
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00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,240
Ironic, maybe, yeah?
But not embarrassing.
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00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,240
You're embarrassing actually for
saying that, so excuse me,
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00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,360
you hearing this? I hear it,
I don't believe what I'm hearing.
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00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,440
They're stupid. Stupid? Stupid?
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00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:16,600
Christmas is stupid. Christmas is
stupid now, is it? Oh, OK, great.
82
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,760
Whoa now!
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00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,880
Gary's stepping in.
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00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,160
Let's slow the stupid train down.
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00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,560
All right?
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00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,760
Tedrick, to your room at once.
Go and practice for your choir.
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00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,000
Don't need to practise,
I'm not doing it.
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00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,360
What?
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00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,440
Why are you going toe-to-toe
with Christmas all of a sudden?
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00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,840
Toe-to-toe with Christmas, mate?
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00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:39,120
That singing's the highlight
of my year, every year.
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00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,720
Huh?!
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00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,800
CAR HORN BEEPS
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00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,360
Stuart...
Stuart Williams.
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00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,520
Where are you heading? Station?
No, no actually, no.
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00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,840
Where you going then, mate?
I...
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00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:58,360
I am going to the station, yeah.
Same. Same, mate.
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00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,840
Doing the big commute myself,
got a massive meeting in town.
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00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:03,160
Jump in, I'll tell you all about it.
100
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,320
Honestly, Gary, I'm fine actually.
101
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,160
I actually enjoy the walk, so...
Walking is for mugs, mate.
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00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,040
Jump in. Come on.
Thank you.
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00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,880
Take your time but hurry up.
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00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,720
Can I move this seat back?
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00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,400
Nah, nah, nah, nah,
leave that, mate,
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00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,120
leave it as it is, Terri likes it
just that way, sorry. Sure.
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00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,480
It's nice to have a little
company for the big drive in.
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00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,560
Well, it's a seven-minute
drive, so...
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00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,760
Quicker than walking though, right?
Yes, well, obviously.
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00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,080
What is it, half-hour walk?
Yeah, it's about that, yeah.
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00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,880
I wouldn't know, mate, if I'm
honest, cos I drive everywhere.
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00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,960
Everywhere I drive,
but today's a bit of a different one
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00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,240
because I've got this massive,
massive meeting as I was saying,
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00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,280
it's our biggest client so I'll
have a bit of the old Dutch courage.
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00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:44,920
Sure. I'll get the Weatherspoon's at
Viccy, have a couple of Peronis
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00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,320
if you fancy one?
What, at 10am?
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00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,880
It's Christmas, mate,
so rules are out the window.
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00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,760
Yeah, and I'll go to Oxford Street,
have a little wander up
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00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:56,000
and down there, little bowl into
Selfridges, get a selfie by
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00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,680
Carnaby Street and, yeah, it's...
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00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,560
You done your Christmas
shopping yet?
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00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,520
Well, we're not really doing
presents this year.
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00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,560
Are we actually going to go, Gary?
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00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,960
What, you got yourself, yourself
a little packed lunchbox there?
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00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,040
Yes, this is my lunch, Gary, yeah.
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00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,800
Oi!
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00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,560
Dad, Dad, look who's poncing
a lift into London.
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00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,720
I have not ponced a lift.
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00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:18,760
You sure about this meeting
with Fenwick today?
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00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,800
He can smell your arsehole
flapping a mile off.
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00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,440
It's fine, Dad, I've got this.
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00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,480
Yeah, but you've never
pitched before, you know
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00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,560
you get damp round clients.
I don't get damp.
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00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,680
Right, I'm coming with you.
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00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,120
Give me five minutes,
I'll get my suit.
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00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,320
No. Nah...
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00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,920
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, no to that.
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00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,200
Don't worry about it, I've got it,
it's my deal.
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00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,880
Don't you nause this!
I won't nause it!
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00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,040
Gary, I'm going to miss my train.
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00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,720
What, are you on a specific train?
Yes, I've got to be on the 9:07.
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00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,920
Oh, ho, mate,
you ain't going to make that.
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00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,080
What are you talking about?
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00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,000
I've got to go Tesco Express and get
some ChapStick and some Rennies.
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00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,960
What? Yeah, I get heartburn and I'm
on the piss all day, so cause havoc.
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00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,040
Do you think you'll still make it
if you run? No.
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00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,160
What you putting the pigs out for?
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00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,200
Oh, well I haven't got any choice,
have I?
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00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,720
Terri's mum and her fella, Martin,
arrive tonight for Christmas.
150
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,640
Oh, God. The mute.
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00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,680
I get more conversation
out of them pigs.
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00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:15,280
Well, this was the first one,
Pig Zero, 1998.
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00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,680
Since then, every birthday
and Christmas, she buys me
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00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:23,480
bleeding pigs, I mean, it's just
lazy present buying, it's a joke.
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00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,200
It makes my brain itch.
156
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,960
Drinking all my cans,
leaving his fingerprints everywhere.
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00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,120
Well, they're coming, so there's
nothing you can do about it.
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00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,720
Oh!
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00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,640
How, how,
how was your steak then, mate?
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00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,680
Best steak you've ever had in your
whole life would you say? Yeah?
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00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,480
What they do with the cows that they
use here is, they're given
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00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,000
like a bathtub of water every
day from calf, to make them
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00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,560
show-moist, that's what
makes them show-moist.
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00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,280
Talking of moist, you've got
a right bead on you,
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00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:03,840
like a big old cow yourself.
166
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,240
Why don't you take your jacket off?
167
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,480
Nah, nah, nah, nah, I'm fine,
I'm fine, thank you, John, mate,
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00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,480
cheers, thank you.
169
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:14,560
So, business? We're here to discuss
a little bit of the business.
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00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,240
Gary, take your jacket off.
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00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,200
Ah, I'm sweet actually,
I'm good mate, I feel like I am, so.
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00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,480
Take it off.
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00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,800
Yep, right you are, let's
get the old jacket off, shall we?
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00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:26,320
Take it off.
Oiee.
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00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,960
Ahh.
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00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,240
So, so bus, bus...
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00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,960
What is, what is business? It's...
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00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,160
And who are Kings
Property Maintenance?
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00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:40,600
Well, we, we are the, uh,
we are the leader, genre, of,
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00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:44,920
we, we are the leading property
maintenance within the genre. Gary.
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00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:49,000
Just, so, sh, we aren't just
a business or a company, Les,
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00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,200
we are a family, mate,
we are a family
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00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,440
built up of many different
entities and extremes.
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00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,400
Like, we have electricians.
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00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:00,000
Like Mark, and other electricians,
all CORGI registered
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00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,680
and legit and all with
certificates of education.
187
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,320
Gary, keep it down, mate.
188
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,920
And there is Emma. Emma has been
our receptionist for a long...
189
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,520
You'd love Emma, she's great.
190
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,720
Answers the phones, does all the
typing, signs off the time sheets.
191
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,880
We've got our carpenters,
all, like...
192
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,800
Gary, I know how a property
maintenance company works.
193
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,760
Lionel, Philip.
194
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,640
Gavin, Lucien.
195
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,080
So, lots of different carpenters.
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00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,320
Right, stop.
Listen.
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00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,120
I've got a new job, it's a
cracker, it's looking after
198
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,720
the property maintenance
for all the royal houses.
199
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,720
Let me do that.
We'll do that for you.
200
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,720
I'll do that all day
long for you, mate.
201
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,360
This is the big time, Gary.
202
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,560
We're talking Buckingham Palace,
203
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:43,720
Blenheim Palace,
all the palaces as they stand
204
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,840
and I was wondering if your little
firm could be across all of them.
205
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,520
Yeah! Yeah.
206
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,680
Yeah, oh, yeah.
207
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,280
Yes, mate, of course we can, Les,
that's what I'm saying.
208
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:58,000
The work is yours,
provided you look after Fenwick.
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00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:04,440
I'm sure you'd go a little bit
further than, say, rival companies?
210
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:08,480
Yes, we will go further
than any of those clowns.
211
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,200
I'll go literally, you can
call me up any time of day,
212
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,680
any day of the week and you're like,
213
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,240
"All right, Gary, it's Les, I've
been a right two-and-eight here,
214
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,400
"I'm in a right fuddle.
215
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,280
"I need someone to go over
t' Pennines for me."
216
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,200
I'll be like, "Les, mate,
I'm already there,
217
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,600
"I'm already there, cockle."
218
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,520
If you take into account
the amount you'll be earning...
219
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,000
Mm.
220
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,480
..we can all have a little touch,
a little taste of it.
221
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,520
That's really important
to our ethos,
222
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,640
and how we do business
down at Kings Property Maintenance.
223
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,840
Everyone gets some, everyone gets
looked after. Everyone, mate.
224
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,920
That's teamwork. Spread it out.
225
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,440
What you doing?
Why are you doing that?
226
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,360
Oh, yes, of course.
227
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:07,440
A little sign of gratitude
for you there.
228
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,560
Thank you, Gary,
I'll open this later.
229
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,960
Ah, ah, ah, you'll open that now,
mate. Get it open, mate.
230
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,520
Look at that,
you as a reindeer, mate.
231
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:22,920
Where did you get that photo?
232
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,640
Off your wife's Facebook.
233
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,560
How good is that?
234
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:30,320
Moonpig, mate, make all your cards
Moonpig, all personalised
235
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,720
so only you in the world
can have that card.
236
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,840
So that forgoes the end
of the business transition?
237
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,800
A very merry Christmas
and a prosperous New Year.
238
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,040
Would you partake in another whisky?
Er...
239
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,000
John! Two more whiskies.
240
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,440
Let's get you bolloxed.
241
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,480
MUSIC: Run Rudolph Run
by Chuck Berry
242
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:53,680
Out of all the reindeers
you know you're the mastermind
243
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:58,240
Run, run Rudolph,
Randolph ain't too far behind.
244
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,040
Where's them chicken balls?
245
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,480
Jodie, would you like a plate?
246
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,760
No, I'm all right.
Oh, no, have a plate, darling.
247
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,080
No, save on the washing up.
Chicken balls? Anyone seen them?
248
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,600
Yeah, we have a dishwasher.
249
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,800
Where's the chicken balls?
250
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,680
Martin, you seen the chicken balls?
251
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,560
How many you had?
252
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,720
Seven? Seven!
253
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,080
That's nearly a whole chicken.
254
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,680
He's gone in dry, look, he ain't
touched the sweet and sour sauce.
255
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,280
Waste!
256
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,880
All right, boy?
257
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,760
Hope you're not hungry.
Martin's mullered this Chinese.
258
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,800
You might want to take a seat, Dad.
259
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,600
So...
260
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,000
..I'm sorry, Dad,
but we didn't the job.
261
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,640
Oh, YOU didn't get the job,
you mean.
262
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:08,360
Ha! Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha! Oh, mate,
there was no nausing going on.
263
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,040
By the way, that was a prank,
everyone.
264
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,440
I pranked everyone,
265
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,880
but especially you, mate,
cos you should be gutted.
266
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,280
Hook, line and sinker, mate, you.
267
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,120
How was his face like? So...
268
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,560
Oh, no, you're joking.
Ha-ha ha.
269
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,760
Oh, do it again.
Yeah, yeah. Like that.
270
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,480
Oh, no you're joking.
271
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,280
What's your voice doing? Ah ha,
that's exactly what he's like.
272
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,880
What, all signed and done?
273
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,400
Yes, all signed and done.
274
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:36,200
Les Fenwick is going places,
million pound places
275
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,120
and he's taking me with him.
276
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:43,560
You are now looking at the CEO of
the property maintenance company
277
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:48,680
what services all
the royal houses in the UK.
278
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,560
Gary King,
279
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:54,520
I give you, by royal appointment.
280
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,520
Well done, boy, I'm proud of you.
281
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,520
Oh, well, here's to my Gary
and my hero,
282
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,240
and the actual saviour of Christmas,
so...
283
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,920
Thank you, darling bub.
Oh, well done you, love you.
284
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:09,720
Oh, success is a lovely feeling.
285
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,480
Chop, chop,
make haste with these candy canes.
286
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,720
I want Nutcracker soldiers
standing a-large at every door
287
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,920
when this is done.
288
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,840
What are these? What are these?
289
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,400
Blue lights? No...
290
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,960
No to blue lights, they are very
threatening to the eyeball.
291
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,080
You take these back to the store
whence they came.
292
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,760
This must be classy.
293
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,320
Oh, it's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas!
294
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,520
Thank you, John.
295
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,800
Boys getting the van ready, wine's
a-mulling, got a lovely bit of meat.
296
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,840
This is a beautiful thing
you are doing, pal.
297
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,480
What was I supposed to do, John?
Let Christmas die?
298
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,320
You're like a latter day saint,
mate.
299
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,680
Oi, what's going on with this?
300
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,960
It's Christmas. Leave it, John,
I've got this.
301
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,920
I'm funding
the Crescent Christmas lights,
302
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,200
powering the whole bonanza
from my own home.
303
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,760
It shall be a winter
illumination of epic...
304
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,760
John, just leave that, mate.
Just leave that.
305
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,520
Go and tend to your meat please.
306
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,080
Got loads going on, mate.
307
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,640
Cinema showing Home Alone,
Wonderful Life, all the classics,
308
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,200
in Mrs Watson's garden...
Yeah, sounds incredible, look...
309
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,520
Listen, mate, I'm busy as,
is there something you want?
310
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,040
Yeah, there is actually, Gary.
311
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,200
Is there a particular reason
why a meat van with an annoyingly
312
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,840
loud generator are parked
outside my home?
313
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,440
Isn't the reason clear?
314
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,840
John the Butcher is
putting on a hog roast
315
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,960
and mulled wine for the
spectators tomorrow.
316
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,000
Yeah, very nice,
317
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,480
but that's not the reason why
it's outside my house, is it?
318
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,560
Is there something you
actually want, Stuart,
319
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,680
cos you're starting to do my
head in, mate, with your whingeing
320
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:28,920
and your moaning?
321
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,640
I am doing this for the good of the
Crescent, for the people of the...
322
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,880
I'm doing this for the people, mate.
Are you?
323
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:37,080
Are you doing it for the people,
Gary, or are you doing it for you
324
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,640
and your fragile ego?
How dare you!
325
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,680
How very dare you say such
a mean-spirited thing!
326
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:46,360
I am paying for all of this out
of the kindness of my own pocket,
327
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,240
and, I mean, you can't even be
bothered to put up lights!
328
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,640
You're an Ebenezer, mate!
I've put lights up.
329
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,280
Hah! Hah!
He's put up lights.
330
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,160
What, that paltry display over
there? Doesn't even cover your bay.
331
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,760
That's all I can currently justify
332
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,000
spending on it, Gary, if that's
all right with you, sorry.
333
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,200
Do you know what?
334
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,400
I tell you what, I will just speak
to John myself about moving the van.
335
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,360
I and only I should speak to John,
and I will tell him
336
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,840
to move the van a nadgers, and by
nadgers, mate, I mean that much.
337
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,000
That much is a nadgers, boy.
338
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,840
Yeah, very, very informative,
thank you so much, Gary.
339
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,160
You always think you've got
one above me, don't you?
340
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,560
Do you mean one over you, Gary?
341
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:21,920
That's it.
342
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,600
You've done it now, you are banned
from the Christmas lights.
343
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,880
Stuart Williams is banned
from the Christmas lights.
344
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,800
Oh, my God, what will I... Oh,
that's right, I couldn't care less.
345
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,880
And by banned,
I mean completely banned,
346
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,920
I don't want you sneaky peeking
out of your windows.
347
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,720
I'm not going to be peeking, Gary,
at your pathetic little sideshow.
348
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,760
Oh, Mr Gary Christmas trying to be
349
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,160
the Santa of Butterchurn Crescent
or whatever the hell you're doing.
350
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,600
It's pathetic and you're a joke.
351
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,960
You are, mate. You are.
You are, mate. No, you're a joke.
352
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,800
You are.
You are a massive joke.
353
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,680
Move the van! Who's the joke, mate?
You... You are, mate. You're a joke.
354
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,280
No, you're a joke. Never moving it.
355
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,880
Rhetorical question, who's a joke?
You are. Staying where it is.
356
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,120
I'm freezing,
will you stick the heating up a bit?
357
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,520
Heating's right up.
358
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,240
I'm sorry.
359
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,960
I can't stand that
David Attenborough, so boring.
360
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,600
Oh, no, that's enough.
361
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,120
Not David Attenborough.
362
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,040
The man is a saint.
363
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,280
You leave him alone.
364
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,640
I can't do this any more.
365
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,240
Every year you come here,
366
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:07,400
you treat this place like
a halfway house, beds not made,
367
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:11,120
en-suite's a disgrace, flock of
sparrows down the back of the pan,
368
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,440
and don't even get me started
369
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,040
with whatever it is you leave in
the sink.
370
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,680
You're like locusts, you decimate
the celebrations, you've even
371
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,800
had my Waitrose marmalade gammon,
that was in the garage.
372
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,360
Out of bounds.
373
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:26,320
You've even found my secret
stash of Jelly Babies.
374
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,360
Talk about cheapskates.
375
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:31,360
The only time Martin puts
his hands in his pockets
376
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,920
is to scratch his undercrackers.
377
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,640
Why haven't you said nothing?
We had no idea.
378
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,360
We come here every year
because we love it.
379
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:12,680
You're like family to us,
make us feel so special.
380
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,800
It's the highlight of our year.
381
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,760
We are so sorry, ain't we, Martin?
382
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,680
Oh, no, no, no, Martin,
don't go to bed, mate.
383
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,760
You stay up as long as you
want, mate.
384
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,880
No, I was just getting another beer.
385
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,160
Yeah, grab me one, will you, babe?
Yeah.
386
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,600
And some of them nice crisps.
387
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:03,000
I don't want a lot for Christmas
388
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:07,400
There is just one thing I need
389
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,000
I don't care about...
390
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,000
Baby.
391
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,600
Oh.
392
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:13,920
Christmas PJs.
393
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,280
You look lully, babe, like, proper
rumble in the jungle, you know?
394
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:18,920
I feel sexy, Christmas sexy.
395
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,760
Yeah, you look it.
396
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,920
Right, tree's ready
for the old squint test.
397
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,360
Mm hmm.
398
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,160
Mm hmm.
399
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,040
On closer reflection,
you've mixed your hwarm whites
400
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,480
with your hwhite whites.
Hwarm-whites?
401
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,320
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
they're supposed to be hwhite, Gal,
402
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,360
like hwhite hwhites.
403
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,760
Doll face, look, you've got
hwarm-whites and fwhite whites
404
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,520
mixed together and it don't go,
babe. Ah.
405
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,080
It's my sweet, Gal, I've not been
able to concentrate on my tree
406
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,760
and with Teddy and...
Babe, come here.
407
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,680
What's happening?
408
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,840
Dunno, I just miss my little
Santa's helper, don't I?
409
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,880
He's going to be fine.
410
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,760
When he sees the Crescent,
it is like Lapland out there
411
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,240
and he is going to be
all about the Christmas vibes.
412
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,080
I hope so, I hope so.
413
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,720
So how goes the festivity
of extravaganza then?
414
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,960
Absolutely amazing, save one thing.
415
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,120
Stuart Williams being
an absolute Ebenezer.
416
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,200
The man's not even put his hand
in his pockets for Christmas lights.
417
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,320
Hmm, maybe he's in a bit of bother,
babe, if he can't afford lights.
418
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,280
I mean, I ain't being funny
but you can tell
419
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,720
he is proper struggsville just
by the clothes what he wears.
420
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,600
Everything is high street,
no branded clobber whatsoever.
421
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,160
All right, all right,
422
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,120
let's look at the evidence
what we have gathered here.
423
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,720
So you said, right,
he's been slumming it
424
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,320
with little packed lunches,
425
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,840
you know, that he's not buying
any presents this year,
426
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,040
that he's been poncing lifts
left right and centre. Yeah.
427
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,920
And the other day, right,
when you took him to the station,
428
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,760
he didn't even get on the train
with you,
429
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,280
see that, Gary, that is strange.
430
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,440
It's like, yeah,
he ain't even going into town.
431
00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,840
Yeah.
432
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,680
Like, he's pretending to go to work,
433
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,560
when in actual fact, he's just
wandering the streets of London
434
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,920
on his tod just like that dog
in The Littlest Hobo.
435
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,000
Sorry, but I am good.
436
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,960
Poor Stuart Williams.
437
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,920
It's like he's got a dose
of the Bob Cratchits.
438
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,880
Maybe you should do something, babe,
you know, a little kind gesture.
439
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,520
Like what?
It's that time of year, isn't it?
440
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,320
It's like me for example, I does
my soup kitchen every year, don't I?
441
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:27,360
Maybe Stuart is your soup kitchen.
442
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,040
Sorry, mate, we need to talk.
443
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,280
What? We're actually in the
middle of something.
444
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,680
Hello, everyone. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what's going on here? What is this?
445
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,800
Opening presents early?
What's happening, mate?
446
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,080
It's actually none of your business
Gary, what are you doing here?
447
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,080
I wanted to say I'm sorry
for the situation
448
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,400
and the predicament in which you
have found yourself at this
449
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:56,720
time of year and I wanted to say
it's OK to ask for help.
450
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,560
Help? Ask anyone, mate,
but ask for help, seriously.
451
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,520
Gary, where are you going
with this?
452
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,240
This is an intervention,
an intervention,
453
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,880
bag of sand there, mate,
from the bottom of my heart.
454
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,480
You pay this back when you're
back on your feet, all right?
455
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,080
Take it. I don't need any
money, Gary...
456
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,760
I'm good for it, mate,
I'm absolutely cake-o, so...
457
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,480
I don't need any money.
458
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,680
In front of your family.
I don't need any money.
459
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,800
I don't need any money, Gary.
You do, mate. No, I don't.
460
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,760
Get it away, get it, get it away.
You're poor mate, so you need money.
461
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,280
You are a liar.
I don't want your money.
462
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:25,880
Gary! Gary, no.
Stu, don't be proud.
463
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,000
I don't, what are you doing?
I don't want your money, Gary.
464
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,600
Watch the tree! Ah!
465
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,440
Get off me.
Get off me.
466
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,360
Ah!
467
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,280
Oh. Get off me.
Ah! Get off me.
468
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:41,720
Get. Ah, ah!
469
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,120
Skint?
470
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:45,160
You thought I was having a breakdown
because I was skint?
471
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,280
Oh, admit it, mate
you're on your arse,
472
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,000
pretending to go into work,
poncing lifts off everyone
473
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,640
on the Crescent,
scrimping on your Christmas lights.
474
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,240
I'm getting a divorce, Gary.
475
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,480
OK? Yeah, a divorce.
476
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,760
And you've just rudely
interrupted the last time
477
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:04,120
I'm going to see my kids
before Christmas, so thank you.
478
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,560
What was it, like another
fella or something?
479
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,560
No, it was not another fella,
why would you say that?
480
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,760
Why didn't you just say something?
Just tell me about it?
481
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,080
Because you're
not my friend, Gary.
482
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,520
You want to come and stay at ours
over the festive period?
483
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,040
Just make you up a little bed
by the Christmas tree or something?
484
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:21,160
I'll be fine.
485
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,000
All right, Gal, all right?
Yes, hello.
486
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,480
All ready in there.
487
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,200
Oh, the meat's just
slipping off the bone, mate.
488
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,840
Good, very good, great stuff.
489
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,280
This is the guy to talk to
about divorces,
490
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,320
he knows all about, he's been
divorced for ages ain't you, mate?
491
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,960
Tell Stuart it ain't that bad,
is it? It's not bad.
492
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,480
Tell him.
493
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:40,320
You're kidding, ain't you?
It's crippled me, Gal.
494
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,680
Don't see my boys,
all my mates took her side,
495
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,360
I'm too old to get another
decent woman.
496
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,000
John...
497
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,720
I cry myself to sleep every night
Stuart, sleeping in the meat wagon.
498
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:55,640
But Christmas, and Christmas
is the worst, mate, it sucks.
499
00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:03,080
OK, well, thank you
so much for the chat, Gary.
500
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,480
Really, really helpful.
501
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,200
Oh and don't think that
I haven't noticed that you've
502
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,800
moved the van closed to my house,
a nadgers.
503
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,840
Actually, show some respect, mate,
and get that backed up.
504
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,240
Absolute prat, mate.
505
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,160
Oh.
506
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,680
Someone's finally up.
507
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,120
Yeah, Teds, what has gone on here?
Eh?
508
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,760
It's like someone's been getting
proper Joe Mangelled
509
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,640
while we've been asleep, eh?
510
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,080
Question is though,
I mean, where is he?
511
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,440
Eh? Eh, where is he?
512
00:25:54,440 --> 00:26:00,280
Is he, he's, oh, mate,
he's on the table?
513
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:01,920
There he is.
514
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,440
Oh, look at the state, honestly,
515
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,960
he's chundered
all down himself, look.
516
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,760
Oh, pooey, it stinks, Teds.
517
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,720
Look the other way, it stinks.
518
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,200
Who's going to clean that up, eh?
519
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,760
It'll be me.
Be the hoover and the...
520
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:15,840
Oh, don't look now,
521
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,000
he's got a pen in his hand.
522
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,800
In his, because, in the sharpie,
the pen on his, oh, eh?
523
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,440
Teds?
524
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,880
Teds? It's...
525
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,240
What's going on?
526
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,080
I'm just...
527
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,560
I'm just not feeling
it this year, Mum.
528
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,960
I really don't want to sing
at the concert, just, please,
529
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,720
just don't make me.
530
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:47,880
Oh, what the fudgers, Teds?
531
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,440
Oi...
532
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:53,880
Oi, you've got a beautiful voice and
it brings so much joy to everyone.
533
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,760
It's just...
534
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,920
..all the other kids at school
take the mick because,
535
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,400
well, they know
I still sing in the choir.
536
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,640
Right come here, oi, look at me, oi.
537
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,680
You let your mum tell you
a little something, right?
538
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:11,560
You don't ever, ever worry what
anyone thinks of you, all right?
539
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:17,480
Do you know I've been
judged my entire life.
540
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,040
Now you dare to be you, all right?
541
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,880
And alas there was naysayers,
542
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,440
people what didn't want
tonight to happen,
543
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,960
but we fought against
their evil spirits
544
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,760
and I digged deep into my own
pockets, and, yes,
545
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:41,640
I individually wired thousand
upon thousand of LED lights,
546
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:46,400
powered by metres and metres
of cables and multiple generators
547
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,280
all from my own home,
to bring you this.
548
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:54,080
Butterchurn Crescent's
greatest ever light display.
549
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:58,200
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands
together, Mr Des Curly.
550
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,280
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
551
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,240
For I am your Christmas saviour.
552
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:08,520
Let there be light.
553
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:19,160
It's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas
554
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:23,360
Everywhere you go
555
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:27,480
Take a look in the five and ten,
it's glistening once again
556
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:31,560
With candy canes,
and silver lanes aglow
557
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:36,320
It's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas
558
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,160
Toys in every store
559
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,080
But the prettiest sight to see is
the holly that will be...
560
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:44,680
MOBILE RINGS
561
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,320
On your own front door...
562
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,520
Gary, listen, kid, it's bad news,
just wanted to let you know that
563
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:53,080
we've decided to go with someone
else for the royal house job.
564
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:56,120
Another firm just went
that little bit further.
565
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,360
I don't know what happened, Gary,
it was your job on a plate,
566
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,480
you talked your way out of it.
567
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,080
Merry Christmas, kid.
568
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:12,280
MUSIC BECOMES DISTORTED
569
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,800
Gary, well done, boy.
570
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:27,160
Getting Des Curly,
that's no small feat.
571
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,120
You all right? What's the matter?
572
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,000
I'm all right.
573
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,040
Fenwick just called.
574
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,440
Pulled the, the royal house job.
575
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,440
Yeah, good one,
I ain't falling for that again.
576
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,120
No, seriously, he has.
577
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,320
Listen, you have to get up
very early in the morning
578
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,720
to catch me out twice, boy.
579
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:46,960
Oh, no.
580
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,360
You haven't, have ya? How?
581
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,160
You said it was a done deal.
582
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,960
As far as I was concerned, it was.
583
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,720
Yeah, but you bunged him
through, right?
584
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,920
Bunged him?
I bought him a smashing lunch.
585
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:00,960
Lunch?! That Fenwick is
crooked as a witch's nose.
586
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,360
A man like that needs weighing in.
587
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:06,280
Well, he said he was a big fan
of our work, I mean, we shook hands.
588
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:10,640
There's no magic in handshakes, boy,
the pen must caress the paper.
589
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,720
Right, you can turn this lot off.
590
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,240
Nah, nah, nah.
591
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,960
Nah, nah, nah, nah,
it's Christmas, I can't.
592
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:17,360
Oh, yes, you can.
593
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,760
Each house is costing us
£100 a minute, turn it off.
594
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,320
Now!
595
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:30,280
Silent night
596
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:35,520
Holy night
597
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:39,480
All is calm...
598
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,000
Yeah, all right, turn it in, Des,
mate. That's enough now, mate.
599
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,600
Off you, off you trot.
600
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,560
Safe home.
Merry Christmas. See ya, Des.
601
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,120
Bless him.
602
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,120
Feel like I've let everybody down.
603
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:57,080
I just wanted Christmas
to be perfect for everyone
604
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:01,200
after the cruddy year that
the whole entire world has had.
605
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,640
All right, babes,
it's not all about you,
606
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,440
because there's a little boy
who needs his dad right now.
607
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,600
I thought he wasn't singing
because he hated Christmas.
608
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:12,520
Well, think he might change his mind
if he sees you out there.
609
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,120
What's that thing you always say,
eh?
610
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,240
There ain't nothing a Stella
and a good carol concert
611
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,320
can't make better.
I do say that.
612
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,320
You do.
613
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,320
Love you.
614
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:27,880
I love you too, darling.
615
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:38,120
We're walking in the air
616
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:42,520
We're floating in the moonlit sky
617
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:50,280
The people far below
are sleeping as we fly
618
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:11,680
Far across the world
619
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:18,680
The villages go by like dreams
620
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:23,680
The rivers and the hills,
the forests and the streams
621
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:33,720
Children gaze open mouthed
622
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:38,560
Taken by surprise
623
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:42,840
Nobody down below
624
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:46,880
Believes their eyes
625
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:51,640
We're surfing in the air
626
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:56,160
We're swimming in the frozen sky
627
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:05,400
We're drifting over icy
mountains floating by.
628
00:33:05,450 --> 00:33:10,000
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