All language subtitles for King Gary s01ex1 Christmas Special.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:04,440 MUSIC: Love Shine A Light by Katrina and the Waves 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Love shine a light in every corner of my heart 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:11,000 Let the love light carry, let the love light carry. 4 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:17,560 Arise, sweet neighbours and come all ye faithful, 5 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,680 for it is I, Gary. 6 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:23,800 I know it has been a tough year, I do know that. 7 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:28,440 But surf upon my shoulders and come with me 8 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:31,320 and let us turn this crescent 9 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,320 into a symbol of glowing unity, 10 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:38,760 with the Butterchurn Crescent Christmas lights display. 11 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,360 Baby, slow down. Quick and slow, babe, 12 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:41,840 I'm running out of Crescent, babe. 13 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,200 Well, I can't go any slower, I'm the riding the clutch here, babe. 14 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,200 SPEAKS FASTER: Our true job is to make these lights not only the best 15 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,640 in England but the best ones in all of the world there's ever been, 16 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:55,080 ever, of all time, of all time, I say. 17 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,520 That's it, babe, you's fudged it, you's fudged it. 18 00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,360 Get down off there and turn that racket off. 19 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,920 Ain't even a Christmas song. 20 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,920 Well, it's inspirational and it's about lights, Dad. 21 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,280 Listen we've all had a chat and the feeling is, everyone's skint. 22 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:09,520 We can't afford the lights. 23 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,400 We're going to have a year off. 24 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,680 Whatever next, Dad? 25 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,520 One year becomes three, three becomes six, and then you're ten 26 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:21,000 years down the line and kids don't even know what Christmas is no more. 27 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,400 You can't put a price on the happiness that these lights bring. 28 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,160 No. No lights. 29 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,960 We're having a cutback Christmas, no lavish gifts, 30 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:33,000 no bird-within-a-bird-within-a-bird, and we are doing Secret Santa. 31 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,520 No, no, no, no, no, no. No way to Secret Santa. 32 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,320 Secret Santa? Like Secret Santa? 33 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:41,520 Yes, and we will be doing a 20 quid spending limit. 34 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:42,640 Oh, my God. 35 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,400 I've already got everything that's worth 20 quid. 36 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,960 Don't talk soppy, you fanny! 37 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:48,400 You need to focus your energies on the business, 38 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,120 cos we've had a rocky year. 39 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,280 Don't you worry about the business, I have a festive lunch with 40 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,000 Les Fenwick about an ickle bit of a business he's got. 41 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,560 You're having lunch with Les Fenwick? 42 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,160 You never told me about that. 43 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,800 Well, I didn't know about your secret Christmas lights mutiny. 44 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,560 I will conquer Fenwick. 45 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,200 I will seal the deal and I will save Christmas. 46 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,080 Bubba-lugs, I know you've got a lot going on in your brain right now 47 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,680 but I'm really going to need you to try and focus. OK? 48 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,480 It's just for me, Christmas should be swaddled in happiness 49 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,640 and it's currently under threat from a bunch of Ebenezers, so... 50 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:37,120 Yeah, which is precisely why we need to bring the joy to everyone, yeah? 51 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,160 I know. 52 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,120 I mean, like, for me, a TikTok is like, so much better than a 53 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,640 Christmas card, it's like original, 54 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,680 uniqueness and environmental cheek, so... 55 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,760 The way that you pull a concept together literally just 56 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,760 blows my mind. I know, I know. 57 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,200 Right, up on your feet please, everyone. 58 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,680 OK, chop, chop. 59 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,080 Now, listen, I ain't expecting you both to nail this straight away, 60 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,960 it's a very complex routine, so it takes as long as it takes. 61 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,640 So buckle up because I need this to be utter perfection 62 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,080 and every time I'm looking in your eyes, I need you to be giving 63 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,040 it the full a honey-p, a honey-p at the time, all right? 64 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,440 Thank you, maestro. 65 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,760 REGGAE BEATS PLAY 66 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,920 Bang bang boom, cha-crutch. 67 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,160 Have some of that. 68 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,560 Hello. 69 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:43,160 Oh, mate, that was, babe, that was just incredible dancing and stuff. 70 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,720 Complex though, right? Yeah, challenging. 71 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,880 What do you reckon then, Teds, eh? 72 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,440 It's just I'm not really feeling the TikToking loving from ya. 73 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:54,240 I'm not doing one of your dances, they're embarrassing. 74 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,680 Embarrassing? OK. 75 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,040 Sure, I mean like, my Bathroom Skank only got like 25,000 views 76 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,080 in lockdown but it, but it's embarrassing apparently. 77 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,240 Ironic, maybe, yeah? But not embarrassing. 78 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,240 You're embarrassing actually for saying that, so excuse me, 79 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,360 you hearing this? I hear it, I don't believe what I'm hearing. 80 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,440 They're stupid. Stupid? Stupid? 81 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:16,600 Christmas is stupid. Christmas is stupid now, is it? Oh, OK, great. 82 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,760 Whoa now! 83 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,880 Gary's stepping in. 84 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,160 Let's slow the stupid train down. 85 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,560 All right? 86 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,760 Tedrick, to your room at once. Go and practice for your choir. 87 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,000 Don't need to practise, I'm not doing it. 88 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,360 What? 89 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,440 Why are you going toe-to-toe with Christmas all of a sudden? 90 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,840 Toe-to-toe with Christmas, mate? 91 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:39,120 That singing's the highlight of my year, every year. 92 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,720 Huh?! 93 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,800 CAR HORN BEEPS 94 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,360 Stuart... Stuart Williams. 95 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,520 Where are you heading? Station? No, no actually, no. 96 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,840 Where you going then, mate? I... 97 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:58,360 I am going to the station, yeah. Same. Same, mate. 98 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,840 Doing the big commute myself, got a massive meeting in town. 99 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:03,160 Jump in, I'll tell you all about it. 100 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,320 Honestly, Gary, I'm fine actually. 101 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,160 I actually enjoy the walk, so... Walking is for mugs, mate. 102 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,040 Jump in. Come on. Thank you. 103 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,880 Take your time but hurry up. 104 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,720 Can I move this seat back? 105 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,400 Nah, nah, nah, nah, leave that, mate, 106 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,120 leave it as it is, Terri likes it just that way, sorry. Sure. 107 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,480 It's nice to have a little company for the big drive in. 108 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,560 Well, it's a seven-minute drive, so... 109 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,760 Quicker than walking though, right? Yes, well, obviously. 110 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,080 What is it, half-hour walk? Yeah, it's about that, yeah. 111 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,880 I wouldn't know, mate, if I'm honest, cos I drive everywhere. 112 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,960 Everywhere I drive, but today's a bit of a different one 113 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,240 because I've got this massive, massive meeting as I was saying, 114 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,280 it's our biggest client so I'll have a bit of the old Dutch courage. 115 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:44,920 Sure. I'll get the Weatherspoon's at Viccy, have a couple of Peronis 116 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,320 if you fancy one? What, at 10am? 117 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,880 It's Christmas, mate, so rules are out the window. 118 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,760 Yeah, and I'll go to Oxford Street, have a little wander up 119 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:56,000 and down there, little bowl into Selfridges, get a selfie by 120 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,680 Carnaby Street and, yeah, it's... 121 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,560 You done your Christmas shopping yet? 122 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,520 Well, we're not really doing presents this year. 123 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,560 Are we actually going to go, Gary? 124 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,960 What, you got yourself, yourself a little packed lunchbox there? 125 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,040 Yes, this is my lunch, Gary, yeah. 126 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,800 Oi! 127 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,560 Dad, Dad, look who's poncing a lift into London. 128 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,720 I have not ponced a lift. 129 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:18,760 You sure about this meeting with Fenwick today? 130 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,800 He can smell your arsehole flapping a mile off. 131 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,440 It's fine, Dad, I've got this. 132 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,480 Yeah, but you've never pitched before, you know 133 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,560 you get damp round clients. I don't get damp. 134 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,680 Right, I'm coming with you. 135 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,120 Give me five minutes, I'll get my suit. 136 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,320 No. Nah... 137 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,920 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, no to that. 138 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,200 Don't worry about it, I've got it, it's my deal. 139 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,880 Don't you nause this! I won't nause it! 140 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,040 Gary, I'm going to miss my train. 141 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,720 What, are you on a specific train? Yes, I've got to be on the 9:07. 142 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,920 Oh, ho, mate, you ain't going to make that. 143 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,080 What are you talking about? 144 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,000 I've got to go Tesco Express and get some ChapStick and some Rennies. 145 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,960 What? Yeah, I get heartburn and I'm on the piss all day, so cause havoc. 146 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,040 Do you think you'll still make it if you run? No. 147 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,160 What you putting the pigs out for? 148 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,200 Oh, well I haven't got any choice, have I? 149 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,720 Terri's mum and her fella, Martin, arrive tonight for Christmas. 150 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,640 Oh, God. The mute. 151 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,680 I get more conversation out of them pigs. 152 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:15,280 Well, this was the first one, Pig Zero, 1998. 153 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,680 Since then, every birthday and Christmas, she buys me 154 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:23,480 bleeding pigs, I mean, it's just lazy present buying, it's a joke. 155 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,200 It makes my brain itch. 156 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,960 Drinking all my cans, leaving his fingerprints everywhere. 157 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,120 Well, they're coming, so there's nothing you can do about it. 158 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,720 Oh! 159 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,640 How, how, how was your steak then, mate? 160 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,680 Best steak you've ever had in your whole life would you say? Yeah? 161 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,480 What they do with the cows that they use here is, they're given 162 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,000 like a bathtub of water every day from calf, to make them 163 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,560 show-moist, that's what makes them show-moist. 164 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,280 Talking of moist, you've got a right bead on you, 165 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:03,840 like a big old cow yourself. 166 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,240 Why don't you take your jacket off? 167 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,480 Nah, nah, nah, nah, I'm fine, I'm fine, thank you, John, mate, 168 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,480 cheers, thank you. 169 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:14,560 So, business? We're here to discuss a little bit of the business. 170 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,240 Gary, take your jacket off. 171 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,200 Ah, I'm sweet actually, I'm good mate, I feel like I am, so. 172 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,480 Take it off. 173 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,800 Yep, right you are, let's get the old jacket off, shall we? 174 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:26,320 Take it off. Oiee. 175 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,960 Ahh. 176 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,240 So, so bus, bus... 177 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,960 What is, what is business? It's... 178 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,160 And who are Kings Property Maintenance? 179 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:40,600 Well, we, we are the, uh, we are the leader, genre, of, 180 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:44,920 we, we are the leading property maintenance within the genre. Gary. 181 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:49,000 Just, so, sh, we aren't just a business or a company, Les, 182 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,200 we are a family, mate, we are a family 183 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,440 built up of many different entities and extremes. 184 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,400 Like, we have electricians. 185 00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:00,000 Like Mark, and other electricians, all CORGI registered 186 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,680 and legit and all with certificates of education. 187 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,320 Gary, keep it down, mate. 188 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,920 And there is Emma. Emma has been our receptionist for a long... 189 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,520 You'd love Emma, she's great. 190 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,720 Answers the phones, does all the typing, signs off the time sheets. 191 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,880 We've got our carpenters, all, like... 192 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,800 Gary, I know how a property maintenance company works. 193 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,760 Lionel, Philip. 194 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,640 Gavin, Lucien. 195 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,080 So, lots of different carpenters. 196 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,320 Right, stop. Listen. 197 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,120 I've got a new job, it's a cracker, it's looking after 198 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,720 the property maintenance for all the royal houses. 199 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,720 Let me do that. We'll do that for you. 200 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,720 I'll do that all day long for you, mate. 201 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,360 This is the big time, Gary. 202 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,560 We're talking Buckingham Palace, 203 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:43,720 Blenheim Palace, all the palaces as they stand 204 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,840 and I was wondering if your little firm could be across all of them. 205 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,520 Yeah! Yeah. 206 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,680 Yeah, oh, yeah. 207 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,280 Yes, mate, of course we can, Les, that's what I'm saying. 208 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:58,000 The work is yours, provided you look after Fenwick. 209 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:04,440 I'm sure you'd go a little bit further than, say, rival companies? 210 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:08,480 Yes, we will go further than any of those clowns. 211 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,200 I'll go literally, you can call me up any time of day, 212 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,680 any day of the week and you're like, 213 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,240 "All right, Gary, it's Les, I've been a right two-and-eight here, 214 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,400 "I'm in a right fuddle. 215 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,280 "I need someone to go over t' Pennines for me." 216 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,200 I'll be like, "Les, mate, I'm already there, 217 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,600 "I'm already there, cockle." 218 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,520 If you take into account the amount you'll be earning... 219 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,000 Mm. 220 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,480 ..we can all have a little touch, a little taste of it. 221 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,520 That's really important to our ethos, 222 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,640 and how we do business down at Kings Property Maintenance. 223 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,840 Everyone gets some, everyone gets looked after. Everyone, mate. 224 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,920 That's teamwork. Spread it out. 225 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,440 What you doing? Why are you doing that? 226 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,360 Oh, yes, of course. 227 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:07,440 A little sign of gratitude for you there. 228 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,560 Thank you, Gary, I'll open this later. 229 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,960 Ah, ah, ah, you'll open that now, mate. Get it open, mate. 230 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,520 Look at that, you as a reindeer, mate. 231 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:22,920 Where did you get that photo? 232 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,640 Off your wife's Facebook. 233 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,560 How good is that? 234 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:30,320 Moonpig, mate, make all your cards Moonpig, all personalised 235 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,720 so only you in the world can have that card. 236 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,840 So that forgoes the end of the business transition? 237 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,800 A very merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year. 238 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,040 Would you partake in another whisky? Er... 239 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,000 John! Two more whiskies. 240 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,440 Let's get you bolloxed. 241 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,480 MUSIC: Run Rudolph Run by Chuck Berry 242 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:53,680 Out of all the reindeers you know you're the mastermind 243 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:58,240 Run, run Rudolph, Randolph ain't too far behind. 244 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,040 Where's them chicken balls? 245 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,480 Jodie, would you like a plate? 246 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,760 No, I'm all right. Oh, no, have a plate, darling. 247 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,080 No, save on the washing up. Chicken balls? Anyone seen them? 248 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,600 Yeah, we have a dishwasher. 249 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,800 Where's the chicken balls? 250 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,680 Martin, you seen the chicken balls? 251 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,560 How many you had? 252 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,720 Seven? Seven! 253 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,080 That's nearly a whole chicken. 254 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,680 He's gone in dry, look, he ain't touched the sweet and sour sauce. 255 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,280 Waste! 256 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,880 All right, boy? 257 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,760 Hope you're not hungry. Martin's mullered this Chinese. 258 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,800 You might want to take a seat, Dad. 259 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,600 So... 260 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,000 ..I'm sorry, Dad, but we didn't the job. 261 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,640 Oh, YOU didn't get the job, you mean. 262 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:08,360 Ha! Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha! Oh, mate, there was no nausing going on. 263 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,040 By the way, that was a prank, everyone. 264 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,440 I pranked everyone, 265 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,880 but especially you, mate, cos you should be gutted. 266 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,280 Hook, line and sinker, mate, you. 267 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,120 How was his face like? So... 268 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,560 Oh, no, you're joking. Ha-ha ha. 269 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,760 Oh, do it again. Yeah, yeah. Like that. 270 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,480 Oh, no you're joking. 271 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,280 What's your voice doing? Ah ha, that's exactly what he's like. 272 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,880 What, all signed and done? 273 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,400 Yes, all signed and done. 274 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:36,200 Les Fenwick is going places, million pound places 275 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,120 and he's taking me with him. 276 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:43,560 You are now looking at the CEO of the property maintenance company 277 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:48,680 what services all the royal houses in the UK. 278 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,560 Gary King, 279 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:54,520 I give you, by royal appointment. 280 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,520 Well done, boy, I'm proud of you. 281 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,520 Oh, well, here's to my Gary and my hero, 282 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,240 and the actual saviour of Christmas, so... 283 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,920 Thank you, darling bub. Oh, well done you, love you. 284 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:09,720 Oh, success is a lovely feeling. 285 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,480 Chop, chop, make haste with these candy canes. 286 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,720 I want Nutcracker soldiers standing a-large at every door 287 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,920 when this is done. 288 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,840 What are these? What are these? 289 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,400 Blue lights? No... 290 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,960 No to blue lights, they are very threatening to the eyeball. 291 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,080 You take these back to the store whence they came. 292 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,760 This must be classy. 293 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,320 Oh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! 294 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,520 Thank you, John. 295 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,800 Boys getting the van ready, wine's a-mulling, got a lovely bit of meat. 296 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,840 This is a beautiful thing you are doing, pal. 297 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,480 What was I supposed to do, John? Let Christmas die? 298 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,320 You're like a latter day saint, mate. 299 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,680 Oi, what's going on with this? 300 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,960 It's Christmas. Leave it, John, I've got this. 301 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,920 I'm funding the Crescent Christmas lights, 302 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,200 powering the whole bonanza from my own home. 303 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,760 It shall be a winter illumination of epic... 304 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,760 John, just leave that, mate. Just leave that. 305 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,520 Go and tend to your meat please. 306 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,080 Got loads going on, mate. 307 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,640 Cinema showing Home Alone, Wonderful Life, all the classics, 308 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,200 in Mrs Watson's garden... Yeah, sounds incredible, look... 309 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,520 Listen, mate, I'm busy as, is there something you want? 310 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,040 Yeah, there is actually, Gary. 311 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,200 Is there a particular reason why a meat van with an annoyingly 312 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,840 loud generator are parked outside my home? 313 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,440 Isn't the reason clear? 314 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,840 John the Butcher is putting on a hog roast 315 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,960 and mulled wine for the spectators tomorrow. 316 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,000 Yeah, very nice, 317 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,480 but that's not the reason why it's outside my house, is it? 318 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,560 Is there something you actually want, Stuart, 319 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,680 cos you're starting to do my head in, mate, with your whingeing 320 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:28,920 and your moaning? 321 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,640 I am doing this for the good of the Crescent, for the people of the... 322 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,880 I'm doing this for the people, mate. Are you? 323 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:37,080 Are you doing it for the people, Gary, or are you doing it for you 324 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,640 and your fragile ego? How dare you! 325 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,680 How very dare you say such a mean-spirited thing! 326 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:46,360 I am paying for all of this out of the kindness of my own pocket, 327 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,240 and, I mean, you can't even be bothered to put up lights! 328 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,640 You're an Ebenezer, mate! I've put lights up. 329 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,280 Hah! Hah! He's put up lights. 330 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,160 What, that paltry display over there? Doesn't even cover your bay. 331 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,760 That's all I can currently justify 332 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,000 spending on it, Gary, if that's all right with you, sorry. 333 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,200 Do you know what? 334 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,400 I tell you what, I will just speak to John myself about moving the van. 335 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,360 I and only I should speak to John, and I will tell him 336 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,840 to move the van a nadgers, and by nadgers, mate, I mean that much. 337 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,000 That much is a nadgers, boy. 338 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,840 Yeah, very, very informative, thank you so much, Gary. 339 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,160 You always think you've got one above me, don't you? 340 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,560 Do you mean one over you, Gary? 341 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:21,920 That's it. 342 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,600 You've done it now, you are banned from the Christmas lights. 343 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,880 Stuart Williams is banned from the Christmas lights. 344 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,800 Oh, my God, what will I... Oh, that's right, I couldn't care less. 345 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,880 And by banned, I mean completely banned, 346 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,920 I don't want you sneaky peeking out of your windows. 347 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,720 I'm not going to be peeking, Gary, at your pathetic little sideshow. 348 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,760 Oh, Mr Gary Christmas trying to be 349 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,160 the Santa of Butterchurn Crescent or whatever the hell you're doing. 350 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,600 It's pathetic and you're a joke. 351 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,960 You are, mate. You are. You are, mate. No, you're a joke. 352 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,800 You are. You are a massive joke. 353 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,680 Move the van! Who's the joke, mate? You... You are, mate. You're a joke. 354 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,280 No, you're a joke. Never moving it. 355 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,880 Rhetorical question, who's a joke? You are. Staying where it is. 356 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,120 I'm freezing, will you stick the heating up a bit? 357 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,520 Heating's right up. 358 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,240 I'm sorry. 359 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,960 I can't stand that David Attenborough, so boring. 360 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,600 Oh, no, that's enough. 361 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,120 Not David Attenborough. 362 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,040 The man is a saint. 363 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,280 You leave him alone. 364 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,640 I can't do this any more. 365 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,240 Every year you come here, 366 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:07,400 you treat this place like a halfway house, beds not made, 367 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:11,120 en-suite's a disgrace, flock of sparrows down the back of the pan, 368 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,440 and don't even get me started 369 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,040 with whatever it is you leave in the sink. 370 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,680 You're like locusts, you decimate the celebrations, you've even 371 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,800 had my Waitrose marmalade gammon, that was in the garage. 372 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,360 Out of bounds. 373 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:26,320 You've even found my secret stash of Jelly Babies. 374 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,360 Talk about cheapskates. 375 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:31,360 The only time Martin puts his hands in his pockets 376 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,920 is to scratch his undercrackers. 377 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,640 Why haven't you said nothing? We had no idea. 378 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,360 We come here every year because we love it. 379 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:12,680 You're like family to us, make us feel so special. 380 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,800 It's the highlight of our year. 381 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,760 We are so sorry, ain't we, Martin? 382 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,680 Oh, no, no, no, Martin, don't go to bed, mate. 383 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,760 You stay up as long as you want, mate. 384 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,880 No, I was just getting another beer. 385 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,160 Yeah, grab me one, will you, babe? Yeah. 386 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,600 And some of them nice crisps. 387 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:03,000 I don't want a lot for Christmas 388 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:07,400 There is just one thing I need 389 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,000 I don't care about... 390 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,000 Baby. 391 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,600 Oh. 392 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:13,920 Christmas PJs. 393 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,280 You look lully, babe, like, proper rumble in the jungle, you know? 394 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:18,920 I feel sexy, Christmas sexy. 395 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,760 Yeah, you look it. 396 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,920 Right, tree's ready for the old squint test. 397 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,360 Mm hmm. 398 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,160 Mm hmm. 399 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,040 On closer reflection, you've mixed your hwarm whites 400 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,480 with your hwhite whites. Hwarm-whites? 401 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,320 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, they're supposed to be hwhite, Gal, 402 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,360 like hwhite hwhites. 403 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,760 Doll face, look, you've got hwarm-whites and fwhite whites 404 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,520 mixed together and it don't go, babe. Ah. 405 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,080 It's my sweet, Gal, I've not been able to concentrate on my tree 406 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,760 and with Teddy and... Babe, come here. 407 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,680 What's happening? 408 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,840 Dunno, I just miss my little Santa's helper, don't I? 409 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,880 He's going to be fine. 410 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,760 When he sees the Crescent, it is like Lapland out there 411 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,240 and he is going to be all about the Christmas vibes. 412 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,080 I hope so, I hope so. 413 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,720 So how goes the festivity of extravaganza then? 414 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,960 Absolutely amazing, save one thing. 415 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,120 Stuart Williams being an absolute Ebenezer. 416 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,200 The man's not even put his hand in his pockets for Christmas lights. 417 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,320 Hmm, maybe he's in a bit of bother, babe, if he can't afford lights. 418 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,280 I mean, I ain't being funny but you can tell 419 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,720 he is proper struggsville just by the clothes what he wears. 420 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,600 Everything is high street, no branded clobber whatsoever. 421 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,160 All right, all right, 422 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,120 let's look at the evidence what we have gathered here. 423 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,720 So you said, right, he's been slumming it 424 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,320 with little packed lunches, 425 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,840 you know, that he's not buying any presents this year, 426 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,040 that he's been poncing lifts left right and centre. Yeah. 427 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,920 And the other day, right, when you took him to the station, 428 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,760 he didn't even get on the train with you, 429 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,280 see that, Gary, that is strange. 430 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,440 It's like, yeah, he ain't even going into town. 431 00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,840 Yeah. 432 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,680 Like, he's pretending to go to work, 433 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,560 when in actual fact, he's just wandering the streets of London 434 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,920 on his tod just like that dog in The Littlest Hobo. 435 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,000 Sorry, but I am good. 436 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,960 Poor Stuart Williams. 437 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,920 It's like he's got a dose of the Bob Cratchits. 438 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,880 Maybe you should do something, babe, you know, a little kind gesture. 439 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,520 Like what? It's that time of year, isn't it? 440 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,320 It's like me for example, I does my soup kitchen every year, don't I? 441 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:27,360 Maybe Stuart is your soup kitchen. 442 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,040 Sorry, mate, we need to talk. 443 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,280 What? We're actually in the middle of something. 444 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,680 Hello, everyone. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on here? What is this? 445 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,800 Opening presents early? What's happening, mate? 446 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,080 It's actually none of your business Gary, what are you doing here? 447 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,080 I wanted to say I'm sorry for the situation 448 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,400 and the predicament in which you have found yourself at this 449 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:56,720 time of year and I wanted to say it's OK to ask for help. 450 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,560 Help? Ask anyone, mate, but ask for help, seriously. 451 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,520 Gary, where are you going with this? 452 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,240 This is an intervention, an intervention, 453 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,880 bag of sand there, mate, from the bottom of my heart. 454 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,480 You pay this back when you're back on your feet, all right? 455 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,080 Take it. I don't need any money, Gary... 456 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,760 I'm good for it, mate, I'm absolutely cake-o, so... 457 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,480 I don't need any money. 458 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,680 In front of your family. I don't need any money. 459 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,800 I don't need any money, Gary. You do, mate. No, I don't. 460 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,760 Get it away, get it, get it away. You're poor mate, so you need money. 461 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,280 You are a liar. I don't want your money. 462 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:25,880 Gary! Gary, no. Stu, don't be proud. 463 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,000 I don't, what are you doing? I don't want your money, Gary. 464 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,600 Watch the tree! Ah! 465 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,440 Get off me. Get off me. 466 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,360 Ah! 467 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,280 Oh. Get off me. Ah! Get off me. 468 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:41,720 Get. Ah, ah! 469 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,120 Skint? 470 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:45,160 You thought I was having a breakdown because I was skint? 471 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,280 Oh, admit it, mate you're on your arse, 472 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,000 pretending to go into work, poncing lifts off everyone 473 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,640 on the Crescent, scrimping on your Christmas lights. 474 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,240 I'm getting a divorce, Gary. 475 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,480 OK? Yeah, a divorce. 476 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,760 And you've just rudely interrupted the last time 477 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:04,120 I'm going to see my kids before Christmas, so thank you. 478 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,560 What was it, like another fella or something? 479 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,560 No, it was not another fella, why would you say that? 480 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,760 Why didn't you just say something? Just tell me about it? 481 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,080 Because you're not my friend, Gary. 482 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,520 You want to come and stay at ours over the festive period? 483 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,040 Just make you up a little bed by the Christmas tree or something? 484 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:21,160 I'll be fine. 485 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,000 All right, Gal, all right? Yes, hello. 486 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,480 All ready in there. 487 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,200 Oh, the meat's just slipping off the bone, mate. 488 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,840 Good, very good, great stuff. 489 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,280 This is the guy to talk to about divorces, 490 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,320 he knows all about, he's been divorced for ages ain't you, mate? 491 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,960 Tell Stuart it ain't that bad, is it? It's not bad. 492 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,480 Tell him. 493 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:40,320 You're kidding, ain't you? It's crippled me, Gal. 494 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,680 Don't see my boys, all my mates took her side, 495 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,360 I'm too old to get another decent woman. 496 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,000 John... 497 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,720 I cry myself to sleep every night Stuart, sleeping in the meat wagon. 498 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:55,640 But Christmas, and Christmas is the worst, mate, it sucks. 499 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:03,080 OK, well, thank you so much for the chat, Gary. 500 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,480 Really, really helpful. 501 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,200 Oh and don't think that I haven't noticed that you've 502 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,800 moved the van closed to my house, a nadgers. 503 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,840 Actually, show some respect, mate, and get that backed up. 504 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,240 Absolute prat, mate. 505 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,160 Oh. 506 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,680 Someone's finally up. 507 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,120 Yeah, Teds, what has gone on here? Eh? 508 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,760 It's like someone's been getting proper Joe Mangelled 509 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,640 while we've been asleep, eh? 510 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,080 Question is though, I mean, where is he? 511 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,440 Eh? Eh, where is he? 512 00:25:54,440 --> 00:26:00,280 Is he, he's, oh, mate, he's on the table? 513 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:01,920 There he is. 514 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,440 Oh, look at the state, honestly, 515 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,960 he's chundered all down himself, look. 516 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,760 Oh, pooey, it stinks, Teds. 517 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,720 Look the other way, it stinks. 518 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,200 Who's going to clean that up, eh? 519 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,760 It'll be me. Be the hoover and the... 520 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:15,840 Oh, don't look now, 521 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,000 he's got a pen in his hand. 522 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,800 In his, because, in the sharpie, the pen on his, oh, eh? 523 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,440 Teds? 524 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,880 Teds? It's... 525 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,240 What's going on? 526 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,080 I'm just... 527 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,560 I'm just not feeling it this year, Mum. 528 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,960 I really don't want to sing at the concert, just, please, 529 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,720 just don't make me. 530 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:47,880 Oh, what the fudgers, Teds? 531 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,440 Oi... 532 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:53,880 Oi, you've got a beautiful voice and it brings so much joy to everyone. 533 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,760 It's just... 534 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,920 ..all the other kids at school take the mick because, 535 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,400 well, they know I still sing in the choir. 536 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,640 Right come here, oi, look at me, oi. 537 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,680 You let your mum tell you a little something, right? 538 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:11,560 You don't ever, ever worry what anyone thinks of you, all right? 539 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:17,480 Do you know I've been judged my entire life. 540 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,040 Now you dare to be you, all right? 541 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,880 And alas there was naysayers, 542 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,440 people what didn't want tonight to happen, 543 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,960 but we fought against their evil spirits 544 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,760 and I digged deep into my own pockets, and, yes, 545 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:41,640 I individually wired thousand upon thousand of LED lights, 546 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:46,400 powered by metres and metres of cables and multiple generators 547 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,280 all from my own home, to bring you this. 548 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:54,080 Butterchurn Crescent's greatest ever light display. 549 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:58,200 Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together, Mr Des Curly. 550 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 551 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,240 For I am your Christmas saviour. 552 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:08,520 Let there be light. 553 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:19,160 It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas 554 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:23,360 Everywhere you go 555 00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:27,480 Take a look in the five and ten, it's glistening once again 556 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:31,560 With candy canes, and silver lanes aglow 557 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:36,320 It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas 558 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,160 Toys in every store 559 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,080 But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be... 560 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:44,680 MOBILE RINGS 561 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,320 On your own front door... 562 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,520 Gary, listen, kid, it's bad news, just wanted to let you know that 563 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:53,080 we've decided to go with someone else for the royal house job. 564 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:56,120 Another firm just went that little bit further. 565 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,360 I don't know what happened, Gary, it was your job on a plate, 566 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,480 you talked your way out of it. 567 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,080 Merry Christmas, kid. 568 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:12,280 MUSIC BECOMES DISTORTED 569 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,800 Gary, well done, boy. 570 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:27,160 Getting Des Curly, that's no small feat. 571 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,120 You all right? What's the matter? 572 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,000 I'm all right. 573 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,040 Fenwick just called. 574 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,440 Pulled the, the royal house job. 575 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,440 Yeah, good one, I ain't falling for that again. 576 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,120 No, seriously, he has. 577 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,320 Listen, you have to get up very early in the morning 578 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,720 to catch me out twice, boy. 579 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:46,960 Oh, no. 580 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,360 You haven't, have ya? How? 581 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,160 You said it was a done deal. 582 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,960 As far as I was concerned, it was. 583 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,720 Yeah, but you bunged him through, right? 584 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,920 Bunged him? I bought him a smashing lunch. 585 00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:00,960 Lunch?! That Fenwick is crooked as a witch's nose. 586 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,360 A man like that needs weighing in. 587 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:06,280 Well, he said he was a big fan of our work, I mean, we shook hands. 588 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:10,640 There's no magic in handshakes, boy, the pen must caress the paper. 589 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,720 Right, you can turn this lot off. 590 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,240 Nah, nah, nah. 591 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,960 Nah, nah, nah, nah, it's Christmas, I can't. 592 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:17,360 Oh, yes, you can. 593 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,760 Each house is costing us £100 a minute, turn it off. 594 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,320 Now! 595 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:30,280 Silent night 596 00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:35,520 Holy night 597 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:39,480 All is calm... 598 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,000 Yeah, all right, turn it in, Des, mate. That's enough now, mate. 599 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,600 Off you, off you trot. 600 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,560 Safe home. Merry Christmas. See ya, Des. 601 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,120 Bless him. 602 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,120 Feel like I've let everybody down. 603 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:57,080 I just wanted Christmas to be perfect for everyone 604 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:01,200 after the cruddy year that the whole entire world has had. 605 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,640 All right, babes, it's not all about you, 606 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,440 because there's a little boy who needs his dad right now. 607 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,600 I thought he wasn't singing because he hated Christmas. 608 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:12,520 Well, think he might change his mind if he sees you out there. 609 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,120 What's that thing you always say, eh? 610 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,240 There ain't nothing a Stella and a good carol concert 611 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,320 can't make better. I do say that. 612 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,320 You do. 613 00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,320 Love you. 614 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:27,880 I love you too, darling. 615 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:38,120 We're walking in the air 616 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:42,520 We're floating in the moonlit sky 617 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:50,280 The people far below are sleeping as we fly 618 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:11,680 Far across the world 619 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:18,680 The villages go by like dreams 620 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:23,680 The rivers and the hills, the forests and the streams 621 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:33,720 Children gaze open mouthed 622 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:38,560 Taken by surprise 623 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:42,840 Nobody down below 624 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:46,880 Believes their eyes 625 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:51,640 We're surfing in the air 626 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:56,160 We're swimming in the frozen sky 627 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:05,400 We're drifting over icy mountains floating by. 628 00:33:05,450 --> 00:33:10,000 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 50679

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.