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1
00:00:01,483 --> 00:00:03,808
[Sleigh Ride playing
on car radio]
2
00:00:03,842 --> 00:00:11,584
♪ ♪
3
00:00:14,111 --> 00:00:16,269
(Trudie)
I'M NOT CRAZY.
4
00:00:16,304 --> 00:00:19,361
I'M A LONG WAY FROM CRAZY.
5
00:00:19,396 --> 00:00:24,552
DOING ONE CRAZY THING
DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON CRAZY.
6
00:00:24,554 --> 00:00:25,690
THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT
THIS ISN'T HOW I EXPECTED
7
00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:28,424
TO BE SPENDING MY CHRISTMAS.
8
00:00:28,459 --> 00:00:29,820
AND I'M SURE IT'S NOT HOW
DAVID MARTIN PLANNED
9
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,879
ON SPENDING HIS.
10
00:00:31,914 --> 00:00:34,837
SO...YOU'VE BEEN WALKING
FOR WHAT, ABOUT AN HOUR?
11
00:00:34,872 --> 00:00:36,772
AND YOU'VE GONE EXACTLY
12
00:00:36,807 --> 00:00:39,497
1.8 MILES.
13
00:00:39,532 --> 00:00:41,533
THE NEAREST GAS STATION
IS 20 MILES AWAY.
14
00:00:41,568 --> 00:00:42,405
YOU DO THE MATH.
15
00:00:45,323 --> 00:00:46,791
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUSTCOME BACK TO THE HOUSE?
16
00:00:46,826 --> 00:00:48,138
WE'LL MAKE SOME
HOT CHOCOLATE, OKAY?
17
00:00:56,961 --> 00:00:58,771
♪ OUR CHEEKS
ARE NICE AND ROSY ♪
18
00:00:58,806 --> 00:01:00,648
ARE YOU OKAY?
19
00:01:00,683 --> 00:01:03,482
NOTHING SMART TO SAY?
20
00:01:03,517 --> 00:01:04,661
IS YOUR FACE FROZEN?
21
00:01:04,696 --> 00:01:07,527
YOU...
22
00:01:07,562 --> 00:01:10,045
ARE...
23
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,101
THE DEVIL.
24
00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:14,754
♪ IT'S LOVELY WEATHER ♪
25
00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:18,194
♪ FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER
WITH YOU ♪
26
00:01:18,229 --> 00:01:24,857
♪ DING A LING-A-LING
DING DONG DING ♪ ♪
27
00:01:24,892 --> 00:01:27,515
[alarm beeping]
28
00:01:31,413 --> 00:01:32,209
[silences alarm]
29
00:01:34,944 --> 00:01:37,666
THE DAY STARTED OUT
LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY.
30
00:01:37,702 --> 00:01:41,854
WHICH LATELY IS NOT
NECESSARILY A GOOD THING.
31
00:01:41,889 --> 00:01:44,704
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
32
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,623
♪ SEEMS LIKE EVERYWHERE
YOU GO ♪
33
00:01:46,658 --> 00:01:48,824
♪ PEOPLE SEARCHING FOR
AN EXPLANATION ♪
34
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:51,565
♪ NEED A REASON,
NEED A PLAN ♪
35
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,635
♪ ALWAYS HAVE TO KNOW
THE DESTINATION ♪
36
00:01:53,670 --> 00:01:55,794
♪ ONE THING I KNOW
FOR SURE ♪
37
00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:58,735
♪ GOTTA MAKE THE MOST
OF THE SITUATION ♪
38
00:01:58,770 --> 00:01:59,698
♪ SETTLE DOWN
AND TAKE IT SLOW ♪
39
00:01:59,734 --> 00:02:03,670
♪ 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T CONTROL
WHERE THE FLOW IS GOING ♪
40
00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,406
♪ YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
WHAT THEY SAY ♪
41
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,765
♪ LIFE'S NOT EASY ♪
42
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,902
♪ THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO
IS CRAZY... ♪
43
00:02:11,938 --> 00:02:15,283
[cell phone rings]
44
00:02:15,319 --> 00:02:16,729
♪ AND REACH UP
TO THE SKY ♪
45
00:02:16,765 --> 00:02:19,337
♪ BELIEVE YOU'VE GOT
SOMETHING SPECIAL ♪
46
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:22,012
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
47
00:02:22,047 --> 00:02:23,608
♪ THERE'S NO MOUNTAIN
YOU CAN'T CLIMB ♪
48
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,252
OH, CRAP!
49
00:02:25,288 --> 00:02:26,632
TRUDIE, THAT WORD IS
SO TACKY.
50
00:02:26,666 --> 00:02:27,471
(Trudie)HI, MOM.
51
00:02:27,506 --> 00:02:29,099
HI, HONEY.
52
00:02:29,134 --> 00:02:30,005
WE'RE JUST GETTING
ORGANIZED HERE.
53
00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:31,367
WE HAD TO BRING
EVERYTHING.
54
00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:32,647
YOU NEVER KNOW
WITH A RENTAL.
55
00:02:32,682 --> 00:02:33,843
SO YOU HAVE DIRECTIONSAND EVERYTHING?
56
00:02:33,878 --> 00:02:35,338
I DO.
57
00:02:35,374 --> 00:02:37,506
I'M GOING TO BE DOING SEATING
ARRANGEMENTS FOR DINNER.
58
00:02:37,542 --> 00:02:39,534
SO I JUST WANTEDTO MAKE SURE
59
00:02:39,568 --> 00:02:41,278
THAT NICK IS STILL
COMING WITH YOU.
60
00:02:41,313 --> 00:02:43,247
OF COURSE HE IS.
61
00:02:43,282 --> 00:02:45,241
COCKTAILS AT 6:00 SHARP.
62
00:02:45,277 --> 00:02:47,733
I KNOW, MOM.
63
00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:49,793
[muted ring]
64
00:02:49,829 --> 00:02:51,946
WE ARE SO EXCITEDTO MEET HIM, HONEY.
65
00:02:51,980 --> 00:02:53,540
IT'S GOING TO BEA VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS.
66
00:02:53,576 --> 00:02:54,354
YOU THINK
HE COULD BE THE ONE?
67
00:02:54,390 --> 00:02:56,157
I DON'T KNOW, MOM.
68
00:02:56,192 --> 00:02:58,201
OH.
69
00:02:58,236 --> 00:03:00,195
YEAH, MAYBE HE COULD.
70
00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:02,237
LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW.
71
00:03:02,273 --> 00:03:03,393
I GOTTA GET READY
FOR THE INTERVIEW.
72
00:03:03,428 --> 00:03:05,004
OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
73
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,334
WEAR YOUR CHRISTMAS DRESS.
74
00:03:06,369 --> 00:03:08,352
IT'S A GREAT COLOR ON YOU,
75
00:03:08,387 --> 00:03:10,337
AND THE STYLE REALLY
SLIMS YOUR HIPS.
76
00:03:10,373 --> 00:03:13,370
MOM, NO,
I'M ALREADY DRESSED!
77
00:03:13,406 --> 00:03:14,649
AND PLEASE, FOR CHRISTMAS
THIS YEAR,
78
00:03:14,684 --> 00:03:16,328
NO MORE PINK SWEATERS,
PLEASE!
79
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,155
HONEY, PINK IS THE BEST
COLOR ON YOU
80
00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:19,760
WITH YOUR BLUE EYES AND--
81
00:03:19,794 --> 00:03:20,789
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF IT FITS ANYMORE.
82
00:03:20,824 --> 00:03:22,467
I AM TELLING YOU YOU HAVETO DRESS FOR THE JOB...
83
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:25,550
OKAY...OKAY...OKAY!
84
00:03:25,585 --> 00:03:26,936
HERE, HONEY,TALK TO YOUR DAD.
85
00:03:26,971 --> 00:03:27,975
NO, NO, NO, I DON'T
HAVE TIME TO TALK TO--
86
00:03:28,011 --> 00:03:29,287
(Dad)HEY, HEY!
HI, DAD.
87
00:03:29,322 --> 00:03:30,559
LISTEN, YOU TOLD MR. PORTNOY
88
00:03:30,594 --> 00:03:33,466
THAT I DON'T HAVE ANYSALES EXPERIENCE, RIGHT?
89
00:03:33,501 --> 00:03:34,429
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU SOLD HIM LEMONADE.
90
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:36,723
I SOLD HIM LEMONADE
WHEN I WAS TEN,
91
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,202
WHEN HE CALLED ME
"LITTLE POOTIE."
92
00:03:38,237 --> 00:03:40,213
LISTEN, NEVER TAKE NOFOR AN ANSWER.
93
00:03:40,247 --> 00:03:43,020
AND DO NOT LEAVE THAT ROOM
UNTIL THE JOB IS YOURS, OKAY?
94
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:44,923
OKAY, WELL, WHAT DID YOU
TELL HIM I'VE BEEN DOING?
95
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,326
WELL, I DIDN'T.
96
00:03:46,361 --> 00:03:48,088
I JUST SAID
YOU'RE A LATE BLOOMER,
97
00:03:48,090 --> 00:03:49,043
BUT THAT YOU'RE READY
TO GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER.
98
00:03:49,078 --> 00:03:51,436
SO YOU MAKE ME PROUD.I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
99
00:03:51,470 --> 00:03:52,599
LOVE YA, MWAH!
OKAY.
100
00:03:52,634 --> 00:03:53,621
DRIVE SAFE, OKAY?
BYE.
101
00:03:53,655 --> 00:03:55,731
LOVE YOU.
102
00:03:55,766 --> 00:03:57,425
I CAN FEEL IT, HONEY.
103
00:03:57,460 --> 00:03:59,104
I THINK THINGS ARE TURNING
AROUND FOR YOU.
104
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,480
OKAY.
BYE, MOM.
105
00:04:01,515 --> 00:04:03,664
OH, HONEY, HONEY, BE SURE TO DO
SOMETHING WITH YOUR HAIR.
106
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,766
OH, MY GOD.
107
00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:08,474
OH, NO!
108
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,688
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!
109
00:04:09,723 --> 00:04:11,565
[screams]
110
00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:14,157
(Trudie)
YEP, THE DAY STARTED OUT
LIKE ANY OTHER.
111
00:04:14,192 --> 00:04:16,525
EXCEPT IT WAS
ALMOST CHRISTMAS.
112
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,349
AND THE CONSTANT PRESSURE
FROM MY PARENTS
113
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:21,410
TO GET A REAL JOB
AND A SERIOUS BOYFRIEND
114
00:04:21,444 --> 00:04:23,204
WAS TAKING ITS TOLL.
115
00:04:23,239 --> 00:04:24,492
IT WAS ENOUGH TO DRIVE
ANYONE NUTS.
116
00:04:24,527 --> 00:04:28,970
BUT AREN'T MOST OF US JUST
A HAIR AWAY FROM CRAZY ANYWAY?
117
00:04:29,005 --> 00:04:30,889
I THINK DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN SANITY AND INSANITY
118
00:04:30,923 --> 00:04:33,066
OFTEN COMES DOWN TO TIMING.
119
00:04:33,101 --> 00:04:34,602
[tires squeal]
120
00:04:34,637 --> 00:04:36,222
[glass shatters]
121
00:04:36,257 --> 00:04:37,402
OH!
122
00:04:37,437 --> 00:04:39,429
YOU BITCH!
123
00:04:39,464 --> 00:04:40,500
[horn honks]
124
00:04:47,971 --> 00:04:48,600
[elevator pings]
125
00:04:54,567 --> 00:04:56,542
HI, TRUDIE CHANDLER.
I HAVE A--
YOU'RE LATE.
126
00:04:56,577 --> 00:04:58,876
I KNOW, I'M SORRY.
HE CAN'T SEE YOU NOW.
127
00:04:58,912 --> 00:05:00,496
OH, NO, NO, I KNOW
I'M A LITTLE LATE,
128
00:05:00,532 --> 00:05:02,317
BUT YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND.
129
00:05:02,319 --> 00:05:03,587
YOU SEE, MY PARENTS
AND MR. PORTNOY ARE NEIGHBORS.
130
00:05:03,622 --> 00:05:05,107
SO MY DAD SET
THIS APPOINTMENT,
131
00:05:05,143 --> 00:05:06,304
SO IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT I SEE HIM.
132
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:09,294
IF IT WAS SO IMPORTANT,
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON TIME.
133
00:05:09,329 --> 00:05:11,188
HE'S IN WITH HIS
NEXT INTERVIEW.
134
00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:12,891
NO.
135
00:05:12,926 --> 00:05:14,263
NO, HE CAN'T BE.
136
00:05:14,298 --> 00:05:15,849
NO, I CAN'T MISS
THIS INTERVIEW.
137
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,498
DON'T EVEN
THINK ABOUT IT.
138
00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:29,598
MR. PORTNOY, IT'S ME!
LITTLE POOTIE!
139
00:05:29,634 --> 00:05:31,758
FROM THE CORNER!
COME ON!
140
00:05:31,794 --> 00:05:32,821
COME ON, YOU KNOW
I CAN SELL.
141
00:05:32,857 --> 00:05:35,280
I MADE MORE MONEY
142
00:05:35,316 --> 00:05:36,153
THAN ANY OF THOSE OTHER GIRLS
ON THE STREET!
143
00:05:36,188 --> 00:05:38,213
WE HAVE A CODE RED UP HERE.
144
00:05:38,248 --> 00:05:42,542
[grunting]
145
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:45,050
BUT THINGS ARE FINALLY
TURNING AROUND FOR ME.
146
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:57,894
OH!
HOW'D IT GO?
147
00:05:57,928 --> 00:06:00,294
I'M PRETTY SURE
I DIDN'T GET IT.
148
00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:01,217
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
149
00:06:01,252 --> 00:06:04,191
I DON'T PAY YOU TO CHITCHAT
WITH YOUR FRIEND, OKAY?
150
00:06:04,227 --> 00:06:04,872
GET TO WORK OR YOU'LL BE
OUT IN THE GUTTER.
151
00:06:04,908 --> 00:06:06,957
SHUT UP, TAJ.
152
00:06:06,993 --> 00:06:09,150
YOU'RE GONNA FIRE ME
LIKE I'M GONNA SLEEP WITH YOU.
153
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:10,563
HE WOULD NOT KEEP HIS
GREAT-GRANDFATHER'S GUN HERE
154
00:06:10,597 --> 00:06:15,222
IF HE KNEW HOW CLOSE I COME
TO KILLING HIM EVERY DAY.
155
00:06:15,258 --> 00:06:17,317
OH, MY GOD.
UGH, I LEFT IT IN TOO LONG.
156
00:06:17,353 --> 00:06:20,026
MY MOM'S ALWAYS COMPLAINING
THAT MY HAIR HANGS IN MY FACE.
157
00:06:20,061 --> 00:06:23,331
OH, MY GOD.
158
00:06:23,366 --> 00:06:26,230
IT'S MY CHRISTMAS DRESS.
MY MOM GOT IT FOR ME.
159
00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:28,208
TAJ IS REALLY INTO
CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR.
160
00:06:28,243 --> 00:06:29,611
BUT HE'S HINDU.
161
00:06:29,646 --> 00:06:31,249
PSSH.
162
00:06:31,285 --> 00:06:34,280
HOW DO I LOOK?
163
00:06:34,316 --> 00:06:37,014
OH, SWEETIE.
164
00:06:37,049 --> 00:06:40,353
OH, LUCY, I COMPLETELY
BLEW THE INTERVIEW.
165
00:06:40,389 --> 00:06:41,342
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I HAVE TO GO HOME TODAY.
166
00:06:41,377 --> 00:06:43,129
THERE'S GONNA BE
NOWHERE TO HIDE.
167
00:06:43,131 --> 00:06:45,056
I MEAN, MY MOM WANTED THIS
TO BE A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS,
168
00:06:45,091 --> 00:06:47,398
SO SHE RENTED A CABIN
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
169
00:06:47,433 --> 00:06:49,077
WE'RE GONNA BE TRAPPED
LIKE THE SHINING.
170
00:06:49,111 --> 00:06:51,360
I'M SORRY.
171
00:06:51,396 --> 00:06:53,031
I'D OFFER TO COME
WITH YOU,
172
00:06:53,066 --> 00:06:54,211
BUT STEVE AND I ARE
HAVING OUR FIRST
173
00:06:54,246 --> 00:06:55,506
CHRISTMAS ALONE TOGETHER.
174
00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:57,359
THAT'S OKAY.
175
00:06:57,394 --> 00:06:57,957
I STILL HAVE ONE MORE
CHANCE FOR SURVIVAL.
176
00:06:57,992 --> 00:06:59,461
NICK'S COMING WITH ME.
177
00:06:59,497 --> 00:07:00,317
TABLE TWO WANTS THEIR CHECK.
TABLE TWO.
178
00:07:00,352 --> 00:07:02,019
WHAT?
179
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,665
THAT'S A LITTLE FAST,
ISN'T IT?
180
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:05,209
NO, IT'S BEEN
A COUPLE OF MONTHS.
181
00:07:05,245 --> 00:07:06,671
BESIDES, I HAVE NOTHING
TO OFFER THESE PEOPLE.
182
00:07:06,707 --> 00:07:08,483
NO HUSBAND.
NO GRANDCHILDREN.
183
00:07:08,518 --> 00:07:09,273
MY DAD ALREADY THINKS
I'M A LESBIAN.
184
00:07:09,308 --> 00:07:11,523
SO YOU'RE USING NICK TO GET
YOUR PARENTS OFF YOUR BACK.
185
00:07:11,558 --> 00:07:13,509
YES--NO!
186
00:07:13,544 --> 00:07:14,780
HE'S JUST GREAT
AT FIRST IMPRESSIONS.
187
00:07:14,815 --> 00:07:16,833
MY PARENTS ARE GONNA
LOVE HIM.
188
00:07:16,868 --> 00:07:18,626
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE
AGAINST HIM ANYWAY.
189
00:07:18,662 --> 00:07:20,205
I GUESS ELITIST JACKASSES
AREN'T MY TYPE.
190
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,751
THEY'RE NOT YOURS EITHER.
191
00:07:21,786 --> 00:07:22,673
LOOK, SO HIS FAMILY
OWNS BANKS.
192
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,306
WHAT'S WRONG WITH WEALTHY
AND SUCCESSFUL FOR A CHANGE?
193
00:07:25,341 --> 00:07:27,424
IT'S EASY TO BE WEALTHY
AND SUCCESSFUL
194
00:07:27,459 --> 00:07:29,451
IF YOU'RE BORN INTO WEALTH
AND HANDED SUCCESS.
195
00:07:29,487 --> 00:07:30,723
WELL, HE'S COMING
TO PICK ME UP AT 2:00,
196
00:07:30,759 --> 00:07:32,051
SO CAN YOU PLEASE
TRY TO CONTROL
197
00:07:32,087 --> 00:07:33,681
THE CHRONIC BITCH-ITIS,
PLEASE?
198
00:07:33,683 --> 00:07:36,123
CHECK, CHECK, CHECK.
TABLE TWO, CHECK, HURRY UP!
199
00:07:38,566 --> 00:07:41,763
I SAID I WANTED
HOT FUDGE, YOU CHOWDERHEAD.
200
00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:43,907
NICE.
201
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,676
(Nick)
EXCUSE ME.
202
00:07:50,363 --> 00:07:51,915
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA QUIT
THIS HEINOUS JOB?
203
00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:53,443
OH, YOU'RE HERE, YES!
204
00:07:53,479 --> 00:07:57,274
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
205
00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:59,342
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
I WAS TRYING
206
00:07:59,377 --> 00:08:00,081
NOT TO ATTRACT ATTENTION
FROM MY PARENTS.
207
00:08:00,116 --> 00:08:02,474
YEAH, ABOUT THAT.
208
00:08:02,509 --> 00:08:03,812
I THINK I'M GONNA PASS
209
00:08:03,847 --> 00:08:05,282
ON THE WHOLE HOLIDAY
SONG AND DANCE.
210
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,246
WHAT IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
211
00:08:06,281 --> 00:08:07,865
WELL, JUST MEETING
YOUR PARENTS
212
00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:09,228
IS A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL,
213
00:08:09,264 --> 00:08:10,142
AND I DON'T THINK
WE'RE THERE YET.
214
00:08:10,178 --> 00:08:12,269
OH, UH-HUH,
OKAY, OKAY, UH-HUH.
215
00:08:12,304 --> 00:08:13,324
WELL, DO YOU THINK
THAT MAYBE
216
00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:16,181
IN LIKE THE NEXT TEN MINUTES
WE COULD GET TO THAT LEVEL?
217
00:08:16,217 --> 00:08:16,837
BECAUSE MY PARENTS
ARE EXPECTING YOU
218
00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,790
TO COME HOME WITH ME.
219
00:08:18,792 --> 00:08:20,369
I DON'T THINK WE'RE EVER
GONNA GET THERE, SWEETHEART.
220
00:08:20,404 --> 00:08:23,501
YOU CAN'T BAIL
ON ME NOW, NICK.
221
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:26,192
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
COCKTAILS ARE AT 6:00 SHARP!
222
00:08:26,227 --> 00:08:27,829
I NEED YOU.
223
00:08:27,864 --> 00:08:30,254
YEAH, THE NEEDY THING?
NOT A TURN ON.
224
00:08:30,289 --> 00:08:32,332
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
225
00:08:32,367 --> 00:08:33,552
THIS IS--THIS IS
NOT HAPPENING!
226
00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:35,298
WHY DID YOU TELL ME
227
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:36,236
YOU WERE GONNA COME HOME
WITH ME FOR CHRISTMAS
228
00:08:36,271 --> 00:08:37,898
IF YOU WERE NEVER
GONNA DO IT?
229
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:41,088
BECAUSE I KNEW THAT THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR.
230
00:08:41,123 --> 00:08:44,908
YOU KNOW, AND WE HADN'T
HAD SEX YET, SO...
231
00:08:44,944 --> 00:08:46,978
HEH.
YEAH, SEE YOU LATER.
232
00:08:47,013 --> 00:08:50,491
WAIT!
233
00:08:50,527 --> 00:08:51,805
IF YOU WALK OUT
THAT DOOR NOW,
234
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,902
WE ARE SO OVER.
235
00:08:54,938 --> 00:08:57,953
UH...YEAH.
236
00:08:57,988 --> 00:08:59,281
OKAY.
237
00:09:04,518 --> 00:09:06,815
[bell rings]
238
00:09:06,851 --> 00:09:07,971
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD.
239
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,633
OH, MY GOD.
240
00:09:09,668 --> 00:09:10,737
HEY, WHAT'S UP?
I'M WAITING FOR JESSICA.
241
00:09:10,772 --> 00:09:12,930
RIGHT OVER THERE.
242
00:09:12,965 --> 00:09:14,642
DUDE, OF COURSE
I'M SURE.
243
00:09:14,677 --> 00:09:16,104
SO WISH ME LUCK, OKAY?
THANK YOU.
244
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:17,932
BYE.
245
00:09:23,367 --> 00:09:24,926
HEY, HEY, HEY!
WAKE UP!
246
00:09:24,962 --> 00:09:25,492
COME ON, HURRY UP.
CUSTOMER, TABLE TEN!
247
00:09:25,527 --> 00:09:26,921
GO, GO, GO!
248
00:09:26,956 --> 00:09:28,150
TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH.
249
00:09:31,724 --> 00:09:34,198
WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU?
250
00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:38,170
UH, I'LL TAKE
A CHEESEBURGER AND FRIES
251
00:09:38,172 --> 00:09:41,151
AND A CAESAR SALAD, PLEASE.
DRESSING ON THE SIDE.
252
00:09:43,821 --> 00:09:45,139
DO YOU NEED
TO WRITE IT DOWN?
253
00:09:47,550 --> 00:09:48,794
[bell rings repeatedly]
254
00:09:56,572 --> 00:09:59,843
[overlapping voices]
255
00:09:59,879 --> 00:10:01,654
MM, THIS IS GOOD,
THIS IS GOOD!
256
00:10:01,689 --> 00:10:03,632
(Dad)
SAID YOU WERE A LATE BLOOMER.
257
00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:04,861
(Trudie)
YOU CAN'T BAIL
ON ME NOW, NICK!
258
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:08,508
(Katherine)
COCKTAILS ARE AT 6:00.
259
00:10:08,543 --> 00:10:09,880
ACTUALLY IT WAS MY FATHER'S.
260
00:10:09,914 --> 00:10:11,382
(Nick)
'CAUSE I KNEW THAT'S WHAT
YOU WANTED TO HEAR,
261
00:10:11,417 --> 00:10:12,771
AND WE HADN'T HAD SEX YET.
262
00:10:12,806 --> 00:10:15,902
I DON'T THINK WE'RE EVER
GONNA GET THERE, SWEETHEART.
263
00:10:15,937 --> 00:10:19,515
YOU OKAY?
WHERE'S NICK?
264
00:10:19,551 --> 00:10:21,294
OH, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
265
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,910
[cell phone ringing]
266
00:10:23,946 --> 00:10:24,849
HEY, WHAT IS
THAT RINGING?
267
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:31,471
WHAT IS THAT?
268
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:32,883
HELLO, MOM.
269
00:10:32,918 --> 00:10:34,602
TRUDIE?
I KNEW IT.
270
00:10:34,638 --> 00:10:36,737
YOU HAVEN'T LEFT YET,HAVE YOU?
I'M SORRY, MOM.
271
00:10:36,773 --> 00:10:38,182
I SAID 6:00.
272
00:10:38,218 --> 00:10:39,761
HONEY, WHAT PART OF THAT
273
00:10:39,797 --> 00:10:40,692
DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
274
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,818
YOU KNOW, TRUDIE,
275
00:10:42,853 --> 00:10:44,215
THE ENTIRE WORLD CAN MANAGETO BE ON TIME.
276
00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:45,485
WHY CAN'T YOU DOTHIS ONE THING FOR ME?
277
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,061
ARE YOU TRYING
TO RUIN CHRISTMAS?
278
00:10:48,096 --> 00:10:49,215
TRUDIE?
279
00:10:49,251 --> 00:10:52,190
WE'RE LEAVING NOW.
280
00:10:52,225 --> 00:10:53,378
NICK'S BRINGINGDINNER CLOTHES, RIGHT?
281
00:10:53,413 --> 00:10:56,218
YEAH, HE'S WEARING
A BLUE BLAZER,
282
00:10:56,253 --> 00:10:58,187
DRESS SHIRT, PINK TIE.
283
00:10:58,222 --> 00:10:59,791
DID YOU PLANTHE MATCHING PINK?
284
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,486
NO, WE DIDN'T PLAN IT.
GET IN THE CAR.
285
00:11:09,073 --> 00:11:10,965
EXCUSE ME.
YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO THE BATHROOM.
286
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:11,845
OH, THIS ISN'T
THE RESTROOM?
287
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,080
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.
288
00:11:14,115 --> 00:11:16,921
NO, I'M GOING
TO THE BATHROOM.
289
00:11:16,956 --> 00:11:19,256
UH, LOOK, I'M NOT SURE
WHAT KIND OF
290
00:11:19,291 --> 00:11:21,142
GOVERNMENT-SPONSORED
WORK PROGRAM
291
00:11:21,177 --> 00:11:22,553
YOU'RE A PART OF, BUT I--
[gun cocks]
292
00:11:22,588 --> 00:11:24,149
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
293
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,819
IT'S A GUN.
ARE YOU SURE?
294
00:11:25,854 --> 00:11:27,322
YEAH, IT'S A GUN.
295
00:11:27,358 --> 00:11:28,776
IT WAS USED
TO FIGHT THE BRITISH.
296
00:11:28,812 --> 00:11:30,147
MAYBE YOU HEARD
OF A LITTLE THING
297
00:11:30,182 --> 00:11:32,149
CALLED THE INDIAN WAR
OF INDEPENDENCE, 1857.
298
00:11:32,184 --> 00:11:33,819
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
299
00:11:33,854 --> 00:11:35,132
[grunting]
MOVE IT!
300
00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:36,793
HEY, WATCH IT!
301
00:11:45,775 --> 00:11:47,676
AAH--UNH!
302
00:11:49,572 --> 00:11:51,622
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!
303
00:11:57,173 --> 00:11:59,265
WAKE UP.
WAKE UP!
304
00:12:01,735 --> 00:12:04,624
[grunting]
305
00:12:04,659 --> 00:12:06,842
YOU, BLITZEN.
306
00:12:06,876 --> 00:12:08,578
EXCUSE YOU?
307
00:12:08,612 --> 00:12:10,464
I'M LOOKING
FOR MY BOYFRIEND.
308
00:12:10,499 --> 00:12:12,624
HANDSOME,
NICE DIMPLES.
309
00:12:12,659 --> 00:12:15,231
HANDSOME, NICE DIMPLES.
DON'T SEE HIM.
310
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:17,175
MAYBE THIS IS HIS WAY
OF DUMPING YOU.
311
00:12:17,211 --> 00:12:18,621
OH!
312
00:12:22,752 --> 00:12:26,547
♪ YOU SAY I GOTTALEARN A LESSON TODAY ♪
313
00:12:26,582 --> 00:12:28,517
♪ YEAH, HEY, HEY, HEY ♪
314
00:12:28,519 --> 00:12:30,825
♪ YOU SAY I NEEDA GOOD PUNCH IN THE FACE ♪
315
00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:32,628
♪ YEAH, HEY, HEY, HEY ♪
316
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:33,973
UNH.
317
00:12:34,009 --> 00:12:36,242
HI.
HUH?
318
00:12:36,278 --> 00:12:37,887
HI?
319
00:12:37,922 --> 00:12:40,188
HOW'S YOUR HEAD?
320
00:12:40,223 --> 00:12:41,301
HOW ABOUT I TAKE
THE BLINDFOLD OFF NOW?
321
00:12:41,336 --> 00:12:42,464
HOW'D THAT BE?
322
00:12:46,121 --> 00:12:47,615
HI.
323
00:12:47,650 --> 00:12:49,028
HELLO.
324
00:12:50,691 --> 00:12:53,920
[straining]
325
00:12:53,955 --> 00:12:56,795
LOOK, I'M NOT SURE
WHAT'S GOING ON
326
00:12:56,831 --> 00:12:58,846
OR WHAT YOU WANT
FROM ME,
327
00:12:58,882 --> 00:13:02,726
BUT THIS PLAN DOESN'T
SEEM VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT.
328
00:13:02,761 --> 00:13:04,155
LET'S FACE IT.
I'M A GUY.
329
00:13:04,190 --> 00:13:05,667
AND SOONER OR LATER,
I WILL OVERPOWER YOU.
330
00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,154
YEAH, GOOD POINT.
331
00:13:07,190 --> 00:13:09,730
UNLESS YOU KNOCK
YOURSELF OUT FIRST.
332
00:13:09,765 --> 00:13:11,209
OR I SHOOT YOU.
[gun cocks]
333
00:13:14,235 --> 00:13:16,750
YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE GIRL.
334
00:13:16,786 --> 00:13:18,934
PROBABLY NOTHING A LITTLE
LITHIUM COULDN'T FIX.
335
00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:21,235
COME ON, YOU'RE NOT REALLY
336
00:13:21,271 --> 00:13:22,515
GONNA SHOOT ME
WITH THAT THING.
337
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:23,546
[squeaking]
338
00:13:23,581 --> 00:13:25,946
AAH!
339
00:13:25,981 --> 00:13:28,546
AAH!
OH, MY GOD!
340
00:13:28,581 --> 00:13:30,274
OH, MY GOD!
341
00:13:33,665 --> 00:13:35,134
SORRY.
342
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:49,166
[soft rock
playing on car radio]
343
00:13:49,201 --> 00:13:53,079
♪ ♪
344
00:13:53,115 --> 00:13:54,766
(Trudie)SO THIS IS THE DEAL.
345
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:55,961
YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME
TO SPEND CHRISTMAS
346
00:13:55,997 --> 00:13:58,079
WITH MY FAMILY
AS MY BOYFRIEND NICK,
347
00:13:58,115 --> 00:13:59,924
WHO UNFORTUNATELY
COULDN'T MAKE IT.
348
00:13:59,959 --> 00:14:02,342
I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING
LIKE THAT, LOONEY TUNES.
349
00:14:02,377 --> 00:14:03,662
YOU DON'T EXACTLY
HAVE A CHOICE, DWAYNE.
350
00:14:03,697 --> 00:14:07,708
IT'S DAVID, AND...
351
00:14:07,744 --> 00:14:09,112
OH!
352
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,721
YOUR BOYFRIEND DUMPED YOU.
353
00:14:11,756 --> 00:14:13,266
NO, I TOLD YOU.
HE COULDN'T MAKE IT.
354
00:14:13,301 --> 00:14:15,509
RIGHT.
355
00:14:15,545 --> 00:14:17,454
YOU'RE ONE OF THOSEHAIRY LADY
356
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,414
MAN-HATER TYPES
WHO'S BEEN REJECTED
357
00:14:19,448 --> 00:14:20,709
TIME AFTER TIME,
358
00:14:20,744 --> 00:14:22,563
AND NOWYOU'RE TAKING IT OUT
359
00:14:22,598 --> 00:14:23,667
ON AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER.
360
00:14:23,702 --> 00:14:25,935
WHAT?
NO, I'M NOT!
361
00:14:38,623 --> 00:14:40,632
[engine turns off]
362
00:14:40,666 --> 00:14:42,857
GAS, GAS STATION.
363
00:14:42,893 --> 00:14:44,610
GREEN AND WHITE SIGN,
GREEN AND WHITE.
364
00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:47,701
HEY, YOU KNOW
THERE'S NO WAY
365
00:14:47,736 --> 00:14:49,255
YOU'RE GONNA PULL
THIS OFF, RIGHT?
366
00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:50,932
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO,
367
00:14:50,968 --> 00:14:52,362
HOLD THE GUN ON ME DURING
CHRISTMAS DINNER?
368
00:14:52,364 --> 00:14:53,873
THE SECOND I GET TO YOUR HOUSE
AND TELL YOUR FAMILY
369
00:14:53,908 --> 00:14:56,274
HOW DEMENTED YOU ARE--
HEY!
370
00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:57,679
HEY, THAT'S GETTING
PERSONAL.
371
00:14:57,713 --> 00:14:58,834
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
372
00:14:58,869 --> 00:15:01,624
NO CELL PHONE?
373
00:15:01,659 --> 00:15:04,956
IT'S IN MY COAT.
AT THE DINER.
374
00:15:04,992 --> 00:15:07,889
WHERE I LEFT IT
BEFORE I WAS KIDNAPPED!
375
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,739
[straining]
376
00:15:15,774 --> 00:15:17,326
MAN, WHAT IS THIS STUFF
MADE OF?
377
00:15:17,362 --> 00:15:19,169
[bell rings]
378
00:15:19,205 --> 00:15:20,358
OH, HELLO.
379
00:15:20,393 --> 00:15:22,742
HI.
380
00:15:22,778 --> 00:15:25,002
[clerk chuckling]
381
00:15:29,590 --> 00:15:32,770
UH, JUST $10 WORTH
AND THIS.
382
00:15:34,974 --> 00:15:39,134
AH.
383
00:15:39,168 --> 00:15:41,277
[cash register beeping]
384
00:15:41,312 --> 00:15:43,179
THERE YOU GO.
385
00:15:43,214 --> 00:15:46,386
I USUALLY PUMP THE GAS
FOR THE PRETTY LADIES.
386
00:15:46,421 --> 00:15:48,944
OH, PLEASE,
THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.
387
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:50,938
YOU WOULDN'T WANT
TO DENY AN OLD MAN
388
00:15:50,974 --> 00:15:52,874
ONE OF THE FEW PLEASURES
HE HAS LEFT.
389
00:15:52,909 --> 00:15:54,469
OH, NO, REALLY!
390
00:15:54,504 --> 00:15:55,242
YOU DON'T
HAVE TO DO THAT.
391
00:15:55,277 --> 00:15:56,380
I CAN HANDLE IT.
392
00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:57,568
(clerk)WHOA!
393
00:15:57,604 --> 00:15:59,187
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE,
SWEETHEART?
394
00:15:59,223 --> 00:16:01,829
UH, THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND.
395
00:16:01,864 --> 00:16:03,117
I'M SURPRISING HIM
WITH A WEEKEND IN THE WOODS.
396
00:16:03,152 --> 00:16:05,369
YOU KNOW, THE WILD
KIND OF WEEKEND.
397
00:16:05,404 --> 00:16:07,487
THE "TIE ME UP,
TIE ME DOWN" KIND.
398
00:16:07,522 --> 00:16:09,024
YOU BETTER COME
WITH ME, YOUNG LADY.
399
00:16:09,059 --> 00:16:10,901
I REALLY
DON'T HAVE TIME.
400
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,823
[pump ringing]
401
00:16:28,399 --> 00:16:30,365
THESE ARE
ON THE HOUSE, HONEY.
402
00:16:30,401 --> 00:16:33,988
OH!
OH, THANKS.
403
00:16:34,023 --> 00:16:36,381
YEAH.
404
00:16:36,416 --> 00:16:37,436
WELL, YOU BETTER
WATCH OUT,
405
00:16:37,471 --> 00:16:38,499
OR I'LL COME BACK
FOR YOU NEXT.
406
00:16:38,534 --> 00:16:40,227
[chuckling]
407
00:16:45,861 --> 00:16:49,050
OKAY.
408
00:16:49,084 --> 00:16:50,902
SO...THIS KIDNAPPING
409
00:16:50,937 --> 00:16:53,369
JUST GOT A LITTLE BIT
MORE PROFESSIONAL.
410
00:16:53,405 --> 00:16:54,575
(David)YOU'RE KIDDING.
411
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:56,219
[straining]
412
00:17:01,346 --> 00:17:04,186
AND MORE COMFY TOO,
RIGHT?
413
00:17:04,221 --> 00:17:07,393
AND JUST SLIGHTLY
MORE HUMILIATING.
414
00:17:07,428 --> 00:17:09,104
[engine starts]
415
00:17:09,139 --> 00:17:10,093
LUCKY LITTLE BASTARD.
416
00:17:12,803 --> 00:17:15,576
[chuckles]
417
00:17:20,023 --> 00:17:22,546
[soft rock
playing on radio]
418
00:17:22,581 --> 00:17:25,354
♪ ♪
419
00:17:25,389 --> 00:17:27,963
LOOK, I'D LIKE
TO APOLOGIZE FOR EARLIER
420
00:17:27,998 --> 00:17:30,836
FOR RAISING MY VOICE
AND FOR...
421
00:17:30,872 --> 00:17:33,354
YOU KNOW, SHOOTING
NEAR YOUR...MANHOOD.
422
00:17:36,812 --> 00:17:38,298
BEEF JERKY?
423
00:17:41,056 --> 00:17:42,733
THANK YOU.
THAT'S VERY KIND.
424
00:17:42,768 --> 00:17:45,400
OKAY, SO I THINK
WE SHOULD SHARE
425
00:17:45,435 --> 00:17:47,062
A FEW IMPORTANT FACTS
ABOUT EACH OTHER.
426
00:17:47,097 --> 00:17:50,318
LET ME GUESS.
UM...
427
00:17:50,354 --> 00:17:51,996
YOU'RE SOME SORT
OF A VICE PRESIDENT
428
00:17:52,031 --> 00:17:56,681
OF A--A COMPANY
YOUR FATHER OWNS.
429
00:17:56,717 --> 00:17:59,224
OKAY, THAT'S A YES.
430
00:17:59,259 --> 00:18:01,060
UM...
431
00:18:01,095 --> 00:18:02,953
YOUR PARENTSBOUGHT YOUR FIRST HOUSE.
432
00:18:02,989 --> 00:18:05,936
YOU SAIL AND GOLF.
433
00:18:05,972 --> 00:18:09,076
I'M GUESSING
A 14 HANDICAP.
434
00:18:09,112 --> 00:18:11,303
AND YOU'RE PROBABLY
SOME SORT OF
435
00:18:11,338 --> 00:18:14,434
A ZETA BETA BETA
SCHMETA.
436
00:18:14,470 --> 00:18:17,700
OKAY, YES, YES, AND YES.
437
00:18:17,736 --> 00:18:20,009
I'M A TEN HANDICAP.
438
00:18:20,044 --> 00:18:21,422
OH, HOW GREAT FOR YOU.
439
00:18:21,456 --> 00:18:24,081
WELL, I THINK
IT'S SAFE TO SAY
440
00:18:24,116 --> 00:18:25,809
I'VE LOST MY JOB
AT TAJ'S DINER DELUXE.
441
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:27,096
I LIVE IN A CRAPPY LOFT
DOWNTOWN.
442
00:18:27,131 --> 00:18:28,957
I DON'T GOLF.
443
00:18:28,991 --> 00:18:30,344
YEAH, THAT PRETTY MUCH
SUMS IT UP.
444
00:18:48,391 --> 00:18:50,199
[engine turns off]
445
00:18:50,234 --> 00:18:52,517
UGH.
446
00:18:52,552 --> 00:18:55,100
OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
447
00:19:02,671 --> 00:19:04,861
[Nutcracker Suite playing]
448
00:19:04,897 --> 00:19:10,096
[front door opens
and closes]
449
00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:12,597
(Katherine)OOH, THERE SHE IS!
450
00:19:12,631 --> 00:19:17,116
LOOK WHO'S HERE!
OH, MY BABY, OH!
451
00:19:17,151 --> 00:19:18,645
MOM, DON'T CRY.
452
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,306
LET ME LOOK AT YOU--
OH, MY GOSH!
453
00:19:20,341 --> 00:19:21,751
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
TO YOUR HAIR?
454
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,188
YOU LOOK LIKE
ONE OF THOSE ACTRESSES
455
00:19:23,223 --> 00:19:24,518
IN A PORNOGRAPHIC MOVIE.
456
00:19:24,552 --> 00:19:25,298
I HAVE PORN STAR HAIR?
457
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:27,201
HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOWWHAT A PORN STAR LOOKS LIKE?
458
00:19:27,235 --> 00:19:28,821
TRUDIE!
459
00:19:28,856 --> 00:19:30,166
OH, BUT LET ME LOOK
AT THE DRESS.
460
00:19:30,201 --> 00:19:31,711
OH, IT LOOKS GORGEOUS.
461
00:19:31,747 --> 00:19:33,606
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
RICHARD?
462
00:19:33,642 --> 00:19:35,525
I THINK IT'S TOO TIGHT.
HI, DAD.
463
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,485
SO WHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED TODAY?
464
00:19:37,521 --> 00:19:39,679
I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS LATE--
465
00:19:39,714 --> 00:19:40,817
MR. PORTNOY DID THIS
AS A FAVOR.
466
00:19:40,852 --> 00:19:42,653
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S A REFLECTION ON ME.
467
00:19:42,688 --> 00:19:44,431
I KNOW, AND I'M SORRY--
I'M SORRY.
468
00:19:44,466 --> 00:19:45,677
COULD WE NOT TALK
ABOUT THIS NOW?
469
00:19:45,712 --> 00:19:47,131
I DON'T WANTTO RUIN CHRISTMAS
470
00:19:47,166 --> 00:19:48,187
BY ALL THIS
NEGATIVE TALK.
471
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,325
WHERE'S NICK?
472
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,052
OH, HE'S IN THE CAR.
473
00:19:51,088 --> 00:19:52,772
BUT I WANTED
TO TELL YOU GUYS.
474
00:19:52,808 --> 00:19:53,761
YOU KNOW WHEN WE GO
TO A RESTAURANT
475
00:19:53,796 --> 00:19:56,003
AND DAD TELLS JOKES
TO THE WAITRESSES
476
00:19:56,038 --> 00:19:57,224
AND THEY'RE STUPIDAND EMBARRASSING
477
00:19:57,259 --> 00:19:57,972
BUT HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY?
MM-HMM.
478
00:19:58,008 --> 00:19:59,725
WELL, UM, SOMETIMES
479
00:19:59,761 --> 00:20:02,874
WHEN NICK FEELS AWKWARD
IN A SOCIAL SITUATION
480
00:20:02,909 --> 00:20:04,353
HE DOES THIS WHOLE,
"I DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE,
481
00:20:04,388 --> 00:20:06,579
I'VE BEEN
KIDNAPPED" THING.
482
00:20:06,615 --> 00:20:07,775
KIND OF WEIRD,BUT HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY.
483
00:20:07,811 --> 00:20:09,345
SO JUST LAUGH ALONG
484
00:20:09,381 --> 00:20:10,243
SO IT DOESN'T MAKE HIM
FEEL BAD, OKAY?
485
00:20:12,803 --> 00:20:15,626
OKAY.
486
00:20:15,661 --> 00:20:17,436
WE'RE VERY EXCITEDTO MEET HIM.
487
00:20:17,471 --> 00:20:19,298
OKAY, LOOK, DAD, PLEASE
488
00:20:19,334 --> 00:20:20,145
TRY NOT
TO EMBARRASS HIM, OKAY?
489
00:20:20,180 --> 00:20:22,122
YEAH, FINE.
490
00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:30,911
OKAY, WE'RE ON.
491
00:20:30,947 --> 00:20:33,022
NO, I'M NOT GOING.
492
00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:34,500
WELL, IT'S NICE AND WARM
IN THE HOUSE.
493
00:20:34,536 --> 00:20:36,935
YOU'LL FREEZE TO DEATH
OUT HERE.
494
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:39,112
FINE, THIS CHARADE'S
ABOUT TO END RIGHT NOW.
495
00:20:47,148 --> 00:20:48,707
[front door slams]
496
00:20:48,742 --> 00:20:50,392
AHEM.
497
00:20:50,428 --> 00:20:51,755
WELCOME.
498
00:20:51,791 --> 00:20:52,777
OH, THIS IS SO,
SO SPECIAL.
499
00:20:52,812 --> 00:20:57,429
YOU ARE THE FIRST BOYFRIEND
TRUDIE'S EVER BROUGHT HOME.
500
00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:59,481
YEAH, WE THOUGHT MAYBE
SHE LIKED THE INNIES.
501
00:20:59,517 --> 00:21:01,334
YOU KNOW,NOT THE OUTIES.
502
00:21:01,369 --> 00:21:03,403
OH, MY GOD, RICHARD!
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
503
00:21:03,438 --> 00:21:05,695
OKAY.
504
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,366
LISTEN TO MEVERY CAREFULLY.
505
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,235
SHE FORCED ME
TO COME HERE.
506
00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:12,416
THIS WOMAN
HELD ME AT GUNPOINT,
507
00:21:12,452 --> 00:21:13,838
KIDNAPPED ME, AND BROUGHT ME
TO THIS HOUSE
508
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:17,593
AS HER HOSTAGE.
509
00:21:17,627 --> 00:21:20,750
[laughter]
510
00:21:20,785 --> 00:21:22,445
I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
511
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,929
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
DID YOU JUST HEAR ME?
512
00:21:24,963 --> 00:21:27,561
YEAH.
MM-HMM.
513
00:21:27,597 --> 00:21:28,600
YOUR DAUGHTER IS A CRAZY,
DANGEROUS, CRIMINAL.
514
00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:31,091
YES, SHE IS!
OOH...
515
00:21:31,127 --> 00:21:32,970
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME EGGNOG?
516
00:21:33,004 --> 00:21:35,761
I HAVE A SECRET INGREDIENT
THAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.
517
00:21:35,796 --> 00:21:36,990
[whispering]
IT'S GROUND CLOVES.
518
00:21:37,026 --> 00:21:39,864
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
519
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:41,252
ARE YOU ALL NUTS?
520
00:21:41,287 --> 00:21:42,158
ALL RIGHT, HONEY,
THAT'S ENOUGH.
521
00:21:42,194 --> 00:21:44,467
I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
YOU HAVE YOURSELF A SEAT, NICK.
522
00:21:44,502 --> 00:21:45,788
MY NAME IS NOT NICK!
523
00:21:45,823 --> 00:21:47,051
YEAH, HE DOES THAT TOO.
524
00:21:47,086 --> 00:21:49,493
AND I WILL NOT HAVE A SEAT!
525
00:21:49,529 --> 00:21:50,640
OKAY, WELL, I'M GONNA GO
HELP MOM WITH THE EGGNOG.
526
00:21:53,715 --> 00:21:56,580
OH.
527
00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:01,082
[laughing]
COME ON.
528
00:22:01,118 --> 00:22:03,658
NICK, HAVE A SEAT.COME ON.
529
00:22:03,692 --> 00:22:05,610
MOM, I WAS WONDERING
530
00:22:05,645 --> 00:22:06,623
IF I COULD BE
KEY MASTER THIS YEAR.
531
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:08,434
REALLY?
532
00:22:08,470 --> 00:22:10,362
USUALLY YOU HATE
THE IDEA OF KEY MASTER.
533
00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:11,899
YEAH, YOU KNOW,
THE IDEA OF BEING
534
00:22:11,934 --> 00:22:13,021
FORCIBLY TRAPPED
AT THE HOLIDAYS
535
00:22:13,056 --> 00:22:14,207
USED TO BOTHER ME,
BUT NOW I SEE
536
00:22:14,243 --> 00:22:16,534
THE HIGHER
SOCIAL PURPOSE.
537
00:22:16,570 --> 00:22:18,362
AH-HA, WELL, YOU SURE
YOU CAN HANDLE GRANDMA?
538
00:22:18,397 --> 00:22:20,240
YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS.
539
00:22:20,274 --> 00:22:21,303
AND THAT'S BEFORE
SHE DIPS INTO THE EGGNOG.
540
00:22:21,338 --> 00:22:23,297
SHE'S LIKE 75 YEARS OLD.
541
00:22:23,332 --> 00:22:25,831
YES, BUT SHE'S STILL
FREAKISHLY STRONG.
542
00:22:25,865 --> 00:22:26,445
I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT.
543
00:22:28,790 --> 00:22:30,142
I'M TRUSTING YOU.
544
00:23:06,639 --> 00:23:08,939
HELLO!
545
00:23:12,729 --> 00:23:15,834
HELLO!
IS ANYONE OUT THERE?
546
00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:20,503
[animal howls]
547
00:23:20,538 --> 00:23:23,776
[croaking]
HELP.
548
00:23:23,812 --> 00:23:25,471
[shivering]
549
00:23:35,010 --> 00:23:38,339
LOOK, SIR, I THINK
I CAN CLEAR UP
550
00:23:38,374 --> 00:23:39,652
THIS SITUATION,
AND WE CAN FORGET
551
00:23:39,688 --> 00:23:40,599
THE WHOLE THING
EVER HAPPENED.
552
00:23:40,634 --> 00:23:42,759
I JUST NEED TO USE
THE PHONE.
553
00:23:42,794 --> 00:23:44,453
NO PHONES IN THE HOUSE.
554
00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:46,522
WHAT ABOUT A CELL PHONE?
555
00:23:46,557 --> 00:23:47,453
AH, THE KEY MASTER'S GOT
ALL THE CELL PHONES.
556
00:23:47,488 --> 00:23:51,406
APPARENTLY IT INTERFERES
WITH OUR QUALITY FAMILY TIME.
557
00:23:51,442 --> 00:23:53,741
[chuckles]
YEAH, WHAT ARE
YOU GONNA DO?
558
00:23:53,777 --> 00:23:55,195
[front door opens]
559
00:23:55,230 --> 00:23:56,026
(man)OH, THIS PLACE IS GREAT!
560
00:23:56,061 --> 00:23:58,162
OH, WOW.
561
00:23:58,197 --> 00:23:59,192
GANG'S ALL HERE!
562
00:23:59,226 --> 00:24:00,669
HEY!
HI, DAD!
563
00:24:00,705 --> 00:24:02,515
HOW DID MY KIDSGET SO GOOD LOOKING?
564
00:24:02,550 --> 00:24:03,993
MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL
IN THE WORLD.
565
00:24:04,029 --> 00:24:05,231
(woman)MERRY CHRISTMAS!
566
00:24:05,266 --> 00:24:06,061
I WANT TO HEAR
ALL ABOUT SCHOOL.
567
00:24:06,096 --> 00:24:08,703
HEY, HOW ARE YOU, STUD?
568
00:24:08,738 --> 00:24:11,644
I'M GOOD.
THAT'S MY BOY.
569
00:24:11,679 --> 00:24:13,663
GOSH, YOU LOOK STUNNING.
HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?
570
00:24:13,698 --> 00:24:15,391
NO. I CUT OUT
DAIRY THOUGH.
571
00:24:15,426 --> 00:24:17,343
YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
THANKS, MOM.
572
00:24:17,378 --> 00:24:18,548
MOM, YOU LOOK GOOD.
HI!
573
00:24:18,583 --> 00:24:19,645
WOW, MOM, YOU HAVE REALLY
574
00:24:19,679 --> 00:24:21,156
MADE IT LOOK PERFECT
575
00:24:21,192 --> 00:24:22,427
AND CHRISTMASSY.
576
00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:24,329
THANK YOU.
YEAH, SOME DIGS, MA.
577
00:24:24,365 --> 00:24:25,044
WHAT, DID YOU CASH IN
DAD'S 401K?
578
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:26,597
HEY!
579
00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:28,018
HEY, WHERE'S JAN?
580
00:24:28,053 --> 00:24:29,513
I THOUGHT SHE WAS COMING.
581
00:24:29,549 --> 00:24:31,283
I TOLD YOU SHE HADTO STAY IN TOWN TO WORK.
582
00:24:31,319 --> 00:24:32,122
I'M LUCKY I COULD TAKETHE TIME OFF.
583
00:24:32,158 --> 00:24:34,034
YOU WORK TOO HARD.
584
00:24:34,068 --> 00:24:35,113
WELL, MARKETS DON'T STOP
WHEN I'M NOT THERE, MA.
585
00:24:35,148 --> 00:24:37,448
HEY, NUMB NUTS,
COME HERE!
586
00:24:37,482 --> 00:24:39,025
LOOK AT THIS HAIR!
WHAT IS THAT?
587
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:42,283
LOOK AT THAT!
JAKE, JAKE,
WE HAVE COMPANY.
588
00:24:42,285 --> 00:24:43,280
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET
TRUDIE'S BOYFRIEND, NICK.
589
00:24:43,314 --> 00:24:44,318
HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU.
590
00:24:44,353 --> 00:24:46,146
I'M NOT HER BOYFRIEND!
591
00:24:46,181 --> 00:24:49,370
I MET HER TODAY WHEN
SHE POKED A MUSKET IN MY RIBS,
592
00:24:49,404 --> 00:24:50,955
TIED ME UP
WITH FURRY HANDCUFFS,
593
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,767
AND DROVE ME TO WHEREVER
I AM RIGHT NOW.
594
00:24:52,802 --> 00:24:55,500
FURRY HANDCUFFS.
NOW I'M EMBARRASSED.
595
00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:59,247
[laughter]
596
00:24:59,282 --> 00:25:01,339
HE'S--IT'S--
OH, IT'S A WHOLE THING.
597
00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:03,010
ALL RIGHT,
COME HERE.
598
00:25:03,045 --> 00:25:04,414
LOOK, JAKE--IS IT JAKE?
YEAH.
599
00:25:04,450 --> 00:25:05,984
YOU LOOK LIKE
A REASONABLE PERSON.
600
00:25:06,019 --> 00:25:08,127
LISTEN TO ME, MAN.
601
00:25:08,163 --> 00:25:09,257
YOU MAY THINKYOUR SISTER IS NORMAL.
602
00:25:09,292 --> 00:25:11,791
BUT SHE'S NOT.
BELIEVE ME.
603
00:25:11,826 --> 00:25:13,411
SHE IS A PSYCHOPATH.
604
00:25:13,447 --> 00:25:15,380
TELL ME ABOUT IT!
605
00:25:15,415 --> 00:25:16,750
HUH?
HA HA!
606
00:25:16,786 --> 00:25:18,787
ALL RIGHT,
I WANT EGGNOG.
607
00:25:18,822 --> 00:25:20,987
COME ON, NICK.
608
00:25:21,023 --> 00:25:21,652
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
COME ON.
609
00:25:30,718 --> 00:25:32,436
OKAY, NICK,
YOU'LL BE IN HERE.
610
00:25:32,471 --> 00:25:35,036
AND, TRUDIE--
MOM, I AM 27 YEARS OLD.
611
00:25:35,038 --> 00:25:35,817
I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THE SAME
ROOM AS MY BOYFRIEND.
612
00:25:35,852 --> 00:25:37,926
END OF STORY.
613
00:25:37,961 --> 00:25:40,760
OH.
OKAY, DEAR.
614
00:25:44,732 --> 00:25:46,475
YEAH, YOU BETTER GET
USED TO THESE BUNK BEDS.
615
00:25:46,510 --> 00:25:48,236
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE GONNA BE SHARING
616
00:25:48,271 --> 00:25:50,197
WITH YOU NEW JAIL BUDDIES,
MAD DOG AND ROZ.
617
00:25:50,232 --> 00:25:52,590
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
AND RELAX?
618
00:25:52,625 --> 00:25:55,214
OH, MAKE NO MISTAKE,
FREAK SHOW.
619
00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:57,450
I WILL FIND A WAY
OUT OF HERE.
620
00:25:57,485 --> 00:25:58,654
AND WHAT'S GONNAKEEP ME GOING
621
00:25:58,689 --> 00:26:00,266
IS THE LOOK
ON YOUR TWISTED FACE
622
00:26:00,301 --> 00:26:02,899
AS THEY HAUL YOU OFF
TO THE SLAMMER.
623
00:26:02,934 --> 00:26:05,001
YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT AS WELL
SETTLE DOWN,
624
00:26:05,036 --> 00:26:06,621
BECAUSE THERE'S
NO WAY OUT OF HERE.
625
00:26:06,655 --> 00:26:08,274
SEE, AS THE KEY MASTER,
I HAVE CONTROL
626
00:26:08,310 --> 00:26:09,014
OF ALL THE CAR KEYS
AND CELL PHONES,
627
00:26:09,049 --> 00:26:11,298
WHICH I'VE HIDDEN QUITE WELL,
IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.
628
00:26:11,333 --> 00:26:15,178
SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL TRY
AND GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP
629
00:26:15,212 --> 00:26:15,950
BECAUSE WE HAVE A COUPLE
OF BIG DAYS
630
00:26:15,985 --> 00:26:16,648
AHEAD OF US, SHNOOKUMS.
631
00:26:31,404 --> 00:26:33,097
[snoring]
632
00:26:49,267 --> 00:26:52,413
BE THE KEY MASTER.
BE THE KEY MASTER.
633
00:27:12,984 --> 00:27:14,303
THERE'S GOTTA BE
A NEIGHBOR SOMEWHERE.
634
00:27:21,283 --> 00:27:23,093
♪ COME ON,IT'S LOVELY WEATHER ♪
635
00:27:23,128 --> 00:27:26,333
♪ FOR A SLEIGH RIDETOGETHER WITH YOU ♪
636
00:27:26,367 --> 00:27:28,493
♪ OUTSIDE THE SNOW
IS FALLING ♪
637
00:27:28,528 --> 00:27:30,154
♪ AND FRIENDS
ARE CALLING YOO-HOO ♪
638
00:27:30,189 --> 00:27:33,650
♪ COME ON,
IT'S LOVELY WEATHER ♪
639
00:27:33,686 --> 00:27:35,678
♪ FOR A SLEIGH RIDE
TOGETHER WITH YOU... ♪
640
00:27:35,713 --> 00:27:37,855
SO...YOU'VE BEEN WALKING
FOR WHAT, ABOUT AN HOUR?
641
00:27:42,775 --> 00:27:45,689
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
COME BACK TO THE HOUSE?
642
00:27:45,724 --> 00:27:47,159
WE'LL MAKE SOME
HOT CHOCOLATE, OKAY?
643
00:27:49,985 --> 00:27:51,911
♪ OUR CHEEKSARE NICE AND ROSY ♪
644
00:27:51,946 --> 00:27:53,539
♪ AND COMFY AND COZYARE WE ♪
645
00:27:53,575 --> 00:27:56,472
[engine turns off]
646
00:27:56,507 --> 00:27:57,793
NO HOT CHOCOLATE
FOR YOU THEN?
647
00:28:06,642 --> 00:28:09,133
[cell phone vibrating]
648
00:28:18,963 --> 00:28:20,805
HELLO.
649
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,584
HEY, IT'S ME.
650
00:28:22,619 --> 00:28:23,447
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOU YESTERDAY?
651
00:28:23,482 --> 00:28:24,834
YOU LOOKED KIND OF STRANGE.
652
00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:25,333
AND THEN I TURNED AROUND
AND YOU WERE GONE.
653
00:28:25,368 --> 00:28:26,330
ARE YOU OKAY?
654
00:28:26,365 --> 00:28:28,166
YEAH, I'M FINE.
655
00:28:28,201 --> 00:28:31,904
WELL, NOT EXACTLY FINE.
656
00:28:31,906 --> 00:28:33,457
I THINK I HAD A LITTLE BIT
OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
657
00:28:33,492 --> 00:28:35,012
I DIDN'T KNOW
THEY CAME IN SIZES.
658
00:28:35,047 --> 00:28:37,353
YEAH, AND I--
659
00:28:37,389 --> 00:28:37,919
I DID SOMETHING
KIND OF CRAZY.
660
00:28:49,153 --> 00:28:50,330
HEY, GOOD MORNING.
661
00:28:50,365 --> 00:28:51,983
MORNING.
662
00:28:52,019 --> 00:28:53,404
COME ON, SIT DOWN.
663
00:28:53,439 --> 00:28:54,418
I'LL MAKE YOU
A SPECIAL BREAKFAST.
664
00:28:54,453 --> 00:28:55,747
IT'S NOT THAT BIG
OF A DEAL.
665
00:28:55,781 --> 00:28:58,098
NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL?
666
00:28:58,133 --> 00:29:01,030
YOU HAVE TO LET HIM GO
RIGHT NOW.
667
00:29:01,066 --> 00:29:02,560
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DOAFTER THE HOLIDAYS?
668
00:29:02,595 --> 00:29:03,664
YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM.
HE'S NOT A PUPPY.
669
00:29:03,699 --> 00:29:05,300
I KNOW.
670
00:29:05,335 --> 00:29:06,007
LOOK, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT
THAT FAR AHEAD,
671
00:29:06,041 --> 00:29:07,136
BUT I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
672
00:29:07,172 --> 00:29:08,349
I HOPE YOU LIKE
EGGS BENEDICT,
673
00:29:08,384 --> 00:29:11,116
AND I HOPEYOU'RE HUNGRY.
674
00:29:11,150 --> 00:29:13,077
A LITTLE FRUIT SALAD.
675
00:29:13,111 --> 00:29:15,195
HERE YOU GO.
676
00:29:15,230 --> 00:29:16,923
THANK YOU.
MM-HMM.
677
00:29:20,995 --> 00:29:23,178
YOU DIDN'T SLEEP
IN THOSE CLOTHES, DID YOU?
678
00:29:23,213 --> 00:29:24,691
YEAH, I'M TRYING
TO TELL YOU THAT--
679
00:29:24,726 --> 00:29:28,429
OH, YOU KNOW IN ALL THE CHAOS,
WE FORGOT HIS SUITCASE.
680
00:29:28,464 --> 00:29:30,181
THAT'S RIGHT.
681
00:29:30,216 --> 00:29:32,425
I LEFT IT AT THE DINER.
682
00:29:32,427 --> 00:29:34,767
YOU KNOW I SHOULD REALLY
CALL ABOUT THAT, BUNNY.
683
00:29:34,802 --> 00:29:36,478
COULD I BORROW
YOUR PHONE, PLEASE?
684
00:29:36,514 --> 00:29:37,783
SORRY, I DIDN'T BRING
MY PHONE, SWEET PEA.
685
00:29:37,818 --> 00:29:39,735
YES, YOUR DID.
IT'S IN YOUR--
686
00:29:39,771 --> 00:29:42,718
OH!
TRUDIE!
687
00:29:42,753 --> 00:29:44,496
OHH.
688
00:29:44,530 --> 00:29:47,320
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO PUT THAT AWAY.
689
00:29:47,355 --> 00:29:49,115
RIGHT.
FORGOT.
690
00:29:49,150 --> 00:29:50,436
I'LL GO GET YOU
SOMETHING TO WEAR
691
00:29:50,471 --> 00:29:51,964
WHILE I WASH
YOUR CLOTHES.
692
00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:53,626
RICHARD ALWAYS BRINGSA FEW THINGS
693
00:29:53,661 --> 00:29:54,855
HE THINKS HE'LL BE ABLE
TO FIT INTO
694
00:29:54,890 --> 00:29:57,090
IF HE LOSES TEN POUNDS.
695
00:30:00,896 --> 00:30:02,656
GIVE ME THE PHONE.
COME AND GET IT.
696
00:30:02,691 --> 00:30:04,026
GIVE IT!
NO!
697
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:12,734
YOU KNOW, I RAN TRACK
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
698
00:30:12,769 --> 00:30:13,597
I PLAYED FOOTBALL,
AND MY NICKNAME WAS FLASH.
699
00:30:13,632 --> 00:30:15,076
OOH, SCARY!
700
00:30:21,923 --> 00:30:24,779
YOU KNOW, I WAS ALSO
REALLY GOOD AT HOME EC.
701
00:30:24,814 --> 00:30:27,171
OH, REALLY?
THAT'S USEFUL.
702
00:30:27,207 --> 00:30:29,182
RIGHT, IT IS.
703
00:30:29,217 --> 00:30:29,622
BECAUSE I WAS REALLY GOOD
AT MAKING ONE DISH.
704
00:30:29,658 --> 00:30:30,736
WHAT'S THAT?
705
00:30:30,771 --> 00:30:33,486
BEEF TENDERLOIN.
706
00:30:33,521 --> 00:30:36,036
EXTRA TENDER.
707
00:30:36,071 --> 00:30:38,212
DON'T DO IT.
DON'T DO IT!
708
00:30:44,503 --> 00:30:45,191
HERE YOU GO, NICK.
709
00:30:47,485 --> 00:30:50,341
THANK YOU.
710
00:30:57,107 --> 00:31:00,327
[breathes deeply]
THIS SUCKS.
711
00:31:00,363 --> 00:31:02,396
SO THE SHEEP DOG SAYS,
"THE SHEEP DOG DON'T TALK."
712
00:31:02,432 --> 00:31:05,693
YOU GET IT?
713
00:31:05,729 --> 00:31:06,807
(Trudie)NO.
714
00:31:06,842 --> 00:31:08,959
[laughter]
715
00:31:08,994 --> 00:31:10,363
OH, YOU DON'T GET IT?
716
00:31:10,398 --> 00:31:11,875
OH, NICE LOOK.
717
00:31:11,910 --> 00:31:13,976
YEAH, REGANOMICS, HUH?
718
00:31:14,011 --> 00:31:15,480
NO!
719
00:31:15,515 --> 00:31:16,693
[silverware clatters]
720
00:31:16,728 --> 00:31:18,686
[exhales]
721
00:31:18,722 --> 00:31:21,213
I FORGOT THE EXTRA VIRGIN
OLIVE OIL.
722
00:31:21,248 --> 00:31:21,785
HOW COULD THAT
HAVE HAPPENED?
723
00:31:30,710 --> 00:31:32,411
I'D BE HAPPY TO GO
TO THE STORE FOR YOU.
724
00:31:32,446 --> 00:31:35,252
NO, MOM.
725
00:31:35,287 --> 00:31:37,047
I SHOULD GO.
IT'D BE RUDE TO SEND A GUEST.
726
00:31:37,082 --> 00:31:38,849
IT IS A LONG DRIVE.
727
00:31:38,884 --> 00:31:41,358
NO, REALLY,
IT'D BE MY PLEASURE.
728
00:31:41,393 --> 00:31:43,153
WELL, NICK,
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
729
00:31:43,189 --> 00:31:44,382
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
RICHARD WILL DRIVE.
730
00:31:44,417 --> 00:31:46,094
YOU GO WITH HIM.
MOM--
731
00:31:46,096 --> 00:31:47,066
TRUDIE, TRUDIE, I'M GONNA
NEED YOUR HELP, HONEY.
732
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:49,733
AND THIS IS A GOOD OPPORTUNITY
FOR THE MEN TO, YOU KNOW,
733
00:31:49,768 --> 00:31:50,963
HAVE SOME QUALITY TIME
TOGETHER.
734
00:31:50,997 --> 00:31:51,983
MOM!
GERTRUDE MARIE.
735
00:31:55,816 --> 00:31:58,812
WELL, COME ON, NICK.
RICHARD WILL DRIVE.
736
00:31:58,847 --> 00:32:01,554
YOU GO GET THE KEYS.
737
00:32:01,589 --> 00:32:02,451
THANK YOU!
738
00:32:09,490 --> 00:32:12,752
[Richard humming]
739
00:32:15,247 --> 00:32:17,338
THIS SHOULD UNDO
THE DAMAGE.
740
00:32:17,374 --> 00:32:18,983
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU WERE THINKING.
741
00:32:19,018 --> 00:32:21,684
WHO PERMS
THEIR HAIR ANYMORE?
742
00:32:21,718 --> 00:32:25,579
NO OFFENSE, BUT THIS
LOOK SAYS DESPERATE.
743
00:32:25,614 --> 00:32:27,365
GUYS CAN TELL WHEN
YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD.
744
00:32:27,401 --> 00:32:28,919
SO YOU DATING ANYONE
AT LAW SCHOOL, KATIE?
745
00:32:28,954 --> 00:32:30,273
I'M DATING A FEW GUYS.
746
00:32:30,308 --> 00:32:31,785
KATIE!
747
00:32:31,820 --> 00:32:33,895
I DIDN'T SAY I SLEPT
WITH THEM.
748
00:32:33,930 --> 00:32:35,590
I'M NOT A SLUT.
749
00:32:35,625 --> 00:32:37,186
I KNOW.
750
00:32:37,221 --> 00:32:40,708
I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW TRUDIE
HOOKED UP WITH NICK.
751
00:32:40,743 --> 00:32:42,984
HE IS SO HOT.
752
00:32:43,019 --> 00:32:45,111
OH, I JUST GAVE HIM
NO CHOICE...
753
00:32:45,146 --> 00:32:46,407
BUT TO LOVE ME.
754
00:32:46,442 --> 00:32:48,567
YEAH, WELL,
HE IS SOMETHING.
755
00:32:48,602 --> 00:32:49,672
HE'S WELL-SPOKEN.HE'S SUCCESSFUL.
756
00:32:49,707 --> 00:32:50,768
HE'S HANDSOME.
757
00:32:50,803 --> 00:32:51,765
I THINK YOUR FATHER'S
758
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,526
TAKEN A LIKING TO HIM.
759
00:32:53,561 --> 00:32:55,246
I'M SURE THEY'RE BONDING.
760
00:33:00,041 --> 00:33:01,601
[engine turns off]
761
00:33:05,649 --> 00:33:07,459
MISTER, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME.
I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED.
762
00:33:07,494 --> 00:33:09,336
LET ME GUESS.
763
00:33:09,371 --> 00:33:11,994
BY A SEXY LADY
IN A PINK DRESS.
764
00:33:12,029 --> 00:33:14,487
YES, YES, YOU REMEMBER!
765
00:33:14,522 --> 00:33:16,829
AND SHE TIED YOU UP
AND BLINDFOLDED YOU.
766
00:33:16,864 --> 00:33:20,169
YES, YES, THAT'S RIGHT,
THAT'S RIGHT!
767
00:33:20,203 --> 00:33:24,239
AND SHE SPANKS YOU
AND DOES NAUGHTY THINGS.
768
00:33:24,274 --> 00:33:25,527
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
EW, THAT'S DISGUSTING.
769
00:33:25,562 --> 00:33:29,623
EXTRA VIRGIN
OLIVE OIL.
770
00:33:29,659 --> 00:33:31,716
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
771
00:33:31,752 --> 00:33:32,887
CAN YOU REALLY BE
AN EXTRA VIRGIN?
772
00:33:32,923 --> 00:33:34,914
[chuckling]
773
00:33:34,950 --> 00:33:37,772
GOT A LITTLE WOMAN AT HOME
774
00:33:37,808 --> 00:33:40,937
LOVES TO HAVE EVERYTHING
LATHERED UP IN OIL.
775
00:33:40,973 --> 00:33:43,355
NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING.
776
00:33:43,390 --> 00:33:44,808
THAT'S THE BEST THING
ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS.
777
00:33:44,843 --> 00:33:48,746
NO GUILT.
RIGHT, SON?
778
00:33:50,859 --> 00:33:52,153
OH.
779
00:33:56,949 --> 00:33:59,173
[pounding on door]
780
00:34:04,035 --> 00:34:06,042
WHERE IN GOD'S NAME
ARE WE?
781
00:34:06,078 --> 00:34:09,008
I'M FREEZING
MY TA-TAS OFF.
782
00:34:09,044 --> 00:34:10,437
WELL, MERRY CHRISTMAS
TO YOU TOO, GRANDMA.
783
00:34:10,472 --> 00:34:11,260
OH, DON'T CALL ME THAT!
784
00:34:14,618 --> 00:34:16,785
UNH!
785
00:34:25,228 --> 00:34:26,455
ALL RIGHT, OLD MAN,
I'M NOT LEAVING HERE
786
00:34:26,489 --> 00:34:28,216
UNTIL YOU HELP ME!
787
00:34:28,218 --> 00:34:29,737
I'M COMING BACK THERE
AND I'M GONNA USE THAT PHONE.
788
00:34:29,772 --> 00:34:31,083
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE
ANY TROUBLE
789
00:34:31,117 --> 00:34:33,425
IN MY STORE,SUPER FREAK.
790
00:34:33,460 --> 00:34:37,612
NOW BACK THAT ASS UP
NICE AND SLOW.
791
00:34:37,647 --> 00:34:40,170
[exhales]
792
00:34:51,795 --> 00:34:54,185
I'M GONNA TURN THE RADIO--
793
00:34:54,221 --> 00:34:57,492
[both screaming
and grunting]
794
00:35:01,564 --> 00:35:03,515
I'M BUSTING OUT OF HERE!
795
00:35:03,550 --> 00:35:06,505
CALM DOWN, SON!
796
00:35:06,541 --> 00:35:07,312
I JUST WANT
TO GO HOME!
797
00:35:07,347 --> 00:35:09,729
OH, I KNOW.
798
00:35:09,764 --> 00:35:11,796
RELATIONSHIPS CAN SEEM
SUFFOCATING AT TIMES,
799
00:35:11,832 --> 00:35:12,819
BUT, YOU KNOW,
IT'LL PASS.
800
00:35:17,058 --> 00:35:21,418
NOW DON'T YOU WORRY.
THIS'LL BE OUR LITTLE SECRET.
801
00:35:28,274 --> 00:35:30,871
THERE IT IS.
802
00:35:30,907 --> 00:35:32,891
(Jake)SWEET.
803
00:35:32,893 --> 00:35:34,028
DON'T TAKE THE PIECESFROM MY SIDE, PLEASE.
804
00:35:34,063 --> 00:35:35,590
THERE'S PIECESMISSING.
805
00:35:35,625 --> 00:35:38,639
HI, HI.
HOW'D IT GO?
806
00:35:38,674 --> 00:35:39,412
(Richard)EVERYTHING'S FINE,HONEY.
807
00:35:39,447 --> 00:35:41,156
YEAH, EVERYTHING'S FINE.
808
00:35:41,192 --> 00:35:42,270
[pants rip]
809
00:35:42,305 --> 00:35:44,288
[David grunts]
810
00:35:44,323 --> 00:35:45,260
[family chuckling]
UH-OH!
811
00:35:48,444 --> 00:35:50,677
OH, JUST LIKE
PAUL NEWMAN.
812
00:35:50,712 --> 00:35:52,180
NICE, FIRM--
813
00:35:52,216 --> 00:35:53,243
GRANDMA!
814
00:35:53,279 --> 00:35:55,046
DOLORES GRANT.
815
00:35:55,082 --> 00:35:57,373
NICE TO MEET YOU.
816
00:35:57,408 --> 00:35:59,449
HEY, DUDE, I'VE GOT
SOME CLOTHES YOU CAN BORROW.
817
00:35:59,485 --> 00:36:01,120
COME ON.
818
00:36:01,155 --> 00:36:04,949
WHATEVER.
THANKS, MAN.
819
00:36:08,449 --> 00:36:10,083
[laughter]
820
00:36:10,118 --> 00:36:11,304
I DIDN'T LIKE THOSE PANTS
ANYWAY.
821
00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:15,791
HERE, TRY THOSE.
822
00:36:21,292 --> 00:36:23,625
YOU HAVE A PHONE?
823
00:36:23,660 --> 00:36:26,807
YEAH.
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, THOUGH.
824
00:36:26,809 --> 00:36:28,045
YOU KNOW HOW MY MOM IS
ABOUT PHONES AT CHRISTMAS.
825
00:36:28,079 --> 00:36:30,362
HEH.
826
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:32,987
UH, I NEED TO MAKE A CALL.
827
00:36:33,023 --> 00:36:33,569
COULD I BORROW IT
FOR A MINUTE?
828
00:36:35,058 --> 00:36:36,552
SURE.
829
00:36:36,587 --> 00:36:38,637
THANKS.
830
00:36:54,913 --> 00:36:57,296
[knock]
I'LL BE OUT
IN A MINUTE!
831
00:36:57,330 --> 00:36:59,314
LET'S GO IN THERE,
SUNSHINE.
832
00:36:59,349 --> 00:37:01,100
(Jessica's voice)HI, YOU'VE REACHEDJESSICA'S VOICEMAIL.
833
00:37:01,135 --> 00:37:03,078
DAMN IT!
834
00:37:03,113 --> 00:37:07,548
[telephone ringing]
835
00:37:09,783 --> 00:37:13,271
MARIA.
836
00:37:13,306 --> 00:37:15,447
HELLO.
837
00:37:15,482 --> 00:37:17,225
MRS. BARBER, IT'S DAVID.
838
00:37:17,261 --> 00:37:20,232
HELLO, DARLING.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
839
00:37:20,268 --> 00:37:21,338
(David)I WAS LOOKING FOR JESSICA,
840
00:37:21,373 --> 00:37:23,357
BUT I DON'T HAVE TIMEFOR THAT NOW.
841
00:37:23,392 --> 00:37:24,511
LISTEN, I'VE BEENTAKEN HOSTAGE!
842
00:37:24,547 --> 00:37:27,917
MARIA, I CAN'T
REACH MY DRINK!
843
00:37:27,953 --> 00:37:30,368
MRS. BARBER,
ARE YOU THERE?
844
00:37:30,404 --> 00:37:31,547
LET ME GET JESSICA
FOR YOU, DARLING.
845
00:37:31,582 --> 00:37:33,425
JESSICA!
846
00:37:33,460 --> 00:37:34,538
NO, NO, NO, MRS. BARBER,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
847
00:37:34,573 --> 00:37:36,507
MARIA.
848
00:37:36,543 --> 00:37:38,509
MARIA--AAH!
849
00:37:38,544 --> 00:37:40,836
OH, NO, MRS. BARBER.
850
00:37:40,871 --> 00:37:41,899
NOT AGAIN.
851
00:37:43,953 --> 00:37:45,787
HEY, WHERE'S NICK?
852
00:37:45,822 --> 00:37:46,933
HE'S ON THE PHONE.
853
00:37:46,968 --> 00:37:48,063
PHONE?
WHAT PHONE?
854
00:37:48,098 --> 00:37:49,824
MY PHONE.
855
00:37:49,859 --> 00:37:51,452
OH!
OH, MAN!
856
00:37:54,869 --> 00:38:00,417
[telephone ringing]
857
00:38:00,451 --> 00:38:02,302
HELLO.
858
00:38:02,337 --> 00:38:04,711
JESSICA!
WHO'S THIS?
859
00:38:04,747 --> 00:38:06,788
IT'S DAVID.
860
00:38:06,790 --> 00:38:07,395
I'VE GOT SOMETHING
REALLY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU.
861
00:38:07,430 --> 00:38:08,932
REALLY?
862
00:38:08,967 --> 00:38:11,358
BECAUSE YOU SAID THATYOU HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT
863
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:12,678
TO SAY YESTERDAY,AND THEN YOU STOOD ME UP.
864
00:38:14,981 --> 00:38:16,283
IS MY BOYFRIEND
IN THERE?
865
00:38:16,319 --> 00:38:19,325
DAISY MAE HAS BEEN IN THERE
PRIMPING FOR TEN MINUTES.
866
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,410
OPEN THIS DOOR!
867
00:38:21,412 --> 00:38:22,980
(Jessica)I SKIPPEDMY GAMMA PI DELTA
868
00:38:23,016 --> 00:38:23,951
ALUMNI LUNCHEONTO MEET YOU.
869
00:38:23,987 --> 00:38:25,008
JESSICA, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME.
870
00:38:25,043 --> 00:38:27,557
AND I AM SURE
THAT BETSY PALMER
871
00:38:27,592 --> 00:38:29,219
JUMPED AT THE CHANCE
872
00:38:29,254 --> 00:38:30,415
TO CAMPAIGN FOR MY SPOT
AS SOCIAL CHAIR.
873
00:38:30,450 --> 00:38:32,624
OPEN THIS DOOR!
874
00:38:32,659 --> 00:38:34,943
I WAS ON BROADWAY ONCE.
875
00:38:34,978 --> 00:38:37,592
HEY!
876
00:38:37,628 --> 00:38:39,305
I WAS KIDNAPPED
FROM THE RESTAURANT YESTERDAY
877
00:38:39,340 --> 00:38:40,617
BY A WAITRESS.
878
00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:42,071
SHE'S ABOUT 5'2".
879
00:38:42,106 --> 00:38:43,375
SHE'S GOT CRAZY HAIR
AND CRAZY EYES.
880
00:38:47,140 --> 00:38:48,974
IF THIS IS YOUR WAY
OF GETTING OUT
881
00:38:49,009 --> 00:38:49,797
OF CHRISTMAS EVE
WITH MY PARENTS--
882
00:38:49,832 --> 00:38:51,093
(David)LISTEN TO ME!
883
00:38:51,127 --> 00:38:52,929
I'M COUPLE HOURS
OUTSIDE THE CITY.
884
00:38:52,964 --> 00:38:55,021
NORTH, I THINK.
885
00:38:55,057 --> 00:38:57,789
IT'S A LOG CABIN.
SIX PLUS FOUR, RUSTIC CHARM.
886
00:38:57,824 --> 00:39:00,006
ARE YOU DRUNK?
887
00:39:00,042 --> 00:39:01,569
PLEASE, SWEETHEART,I LOVE YOU.
888
00:39:01,604 --> 00:39:04,110
THE IMPORTANT THING
YESTERDAY?
889
00:39:04,145 --> 00:39:05,174
I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE.
890
00:39:05,209 --> 00:39:08,099
PROPOSE?
891
00:39:08,134 --> 00:39:12,667
GO TO THE POLICE ANDTELL THEM WHAT'S HAPPENED.
892
00:39:12,702 --> 00:39:14,611
JESSICA, ARE YOU THERE?!
893
00:39:14,647 --> 00:39:16,979
OH.
YOU'RE SERIOUS?
894
00:39:17,014 --> 00:39:18,474
YES!
895
00:39:20,378 --> 00:39:22,586
I HAVE TO GO.
896
00:39:34,036 --> 00:39:36,344
DID YOU TALK
TO SOMEONE ON THE PHONE?
897
00:39:36,346 --> 00:39:38,837
NOPE, COULDN'T GET ANY
RECEPTION IN THE BATHROOM.
898
00:39:38,872 --> 00:39:40,888
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
YOU TALKED TO SOMEONE.
899
00:39:40,923 --> 00:39:44,045
OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I DID.
900
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,778
AND IT'S ONLY A MATTER
OF TIME NOW
901
00:39:46,814 --> 00:39:49,727
UNTIL I'M BROKEN OUT
OF THIS ASYLUM.
902
00:39:49,763 --> 00:39:51,987
BUT I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
903
00:39:52,022 --> 00:39:53,649
UNTIL THAT TIME,
904
00:39:53,684 --> 00:39:56,664
I'VE DECIDED
I'M GONNA HELP YOU.
905
00:39:56,699 --> 00:39:58,817
I'M GONNA BE THE BEST
BOYFRIEND EVER,
906
00:39:58,819 --> 00:40:00,279
AND YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA
FALL IN LOVE WITH ME.
907
00:40:00,314 --> 00:40:03,568
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
908
00:40:03,603 --> 00:40:05,985
BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE
MORE SATISFYING FOR ME
909
00:40:06,021 --> 00:40:07,614
WHEN YOUR FAMILY LEARNS
THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU.
910
00:40:11,736 --> 00:40:13,429
[exhales]
911
00:40:23,209 --> 00:40:24,719
(David)
YOU HAVE TO SWING YOUR HIPS
912
00:40:24,754 --> 00:40:26,314
IN CONJUNCTION
WITH YOUR SHOULDERS.
913
00:40:26,349 --> 00:40:27,261
IF YOU WATCH TIGER,
IT'S ALL CONNECTED.
914
00:40:27,297 --> 00:40:29,953
ONE FLUID MOTION.
THERE YOU GO.
915
00:40:29,988 --> 00:40:31,797
PLAYING THROUGH!
916
00:40:31,832 --> 00:40:34,788
(Richard)OKAY.
917
00:40:34,823 --> 00:40:36,972
SO WHAT IS IT
YOU DO, NICK?
918
00:40:37,008 --> 00:40:39,531
I WORK FOR A REAL ESTATE
DEVELOPMENT COMPANY.
919
00:40:39,567 --> 00:40:41,684
REALLY, WHICH ONE?
BARBER AND PARTNERS.
920
00:40:41,686 --> 00:40:44,109
I KNOW BARBER AND PARTNERS.
THAT'S A GOOD COMPANY.
921
00:40:44,144 --> 00:40:46,028
MY FIRM DID
SOME LEGAL WORK FOR YOU
922
00:40:46,063 --> 00:40:47,100
ON THE PINEHURST CONDOS.
OH, OKAY.
923
00:40:47,135 --> 00:40:48,803
WHAT DO YOU THERE?
924
00:40:48,837 --> 00:40:52,624
I'M A VICE PRESIDENT
OF NEW BUSINESS.
925
00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:54,086
YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME
WE THOUGHT TRUDIE,
926
00:40:54,122 --> 00:40:55,266
WITH ALL HER CAUSES,
MIGHT GO TO LAW SCHOOL
927
00:40:55,301 --> 00:40:56,736
LIKE HER SISTER KATIE.
928
00:40:56,771 --> 00:41:00,549
BEING A DEMOCRAT IS NOT
A CAUSE, DAD.
929
00:41:00,585 --> 00:41:01,979
BUT SHE GOT HER DEGREE
IN LIBERAL ARTS.
930
00:41:02,013 --> 00:41:04,380
FINE ARTS, DAD.
931
00:41:04,415 --> 00:41:05,717
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
932
00:41:05,752 --> 00:41:07,353
IT'S AN EXPENSIVEWAY TO SAY,
933
00:41:07,388 --> 00:41:08,101
"DO YOU WANT FRIES
WITH THAT?"
934
00:41:08,137 --> 00:41:12,214
[chuckling]
935
00:41:12,248 --> 00:41:15,071
OH, HOMEMADE ORNAMENTS.
936
00:41:15,106 --> 00:41:17,531
YEAH, TRUDIE MADE THAT
WHEN SHE WAS FIVE.
937
00:41:17,566 --> 00:41:18,785
SHE WAS A LITTLE WITHDRAWN
AS A CHILD.
938
00:41:18,819 --> 00:41:20,388
OKAY, MOM.
939
00:41:20,424 --> 00:41:22,082
YOU KNOW,
HER BROTHER AND SISTER
940
00:41:22,118 --> 00:41:22,806
ARE SO OUTGOINGAND HAD SO MANY FRIENDS.
941
00:41:22,841 --> 00:41:25,738
BUT TRUDIE WAS--I DON'T KNOW--
A LITTLE ANTISOCIAL.
942
00:41:25,773 --> 00:41:28,596
REALLY?
943
00:41:28,631 --> 00:41:29,792
WE EVEN PAID A LITTLE BOYDOWN THE STREET
944
00:41:29,828 --> 00:41:30,956
TO BE HER FRIEND,
BUT HE GAVE US OUR MONEY BACK.
945
00:41:30,990 --> 00:41:34,494
ALL RIGHT!
946
00:41:34,529 --> 00:41:36,612
SO FROM THEN ON IT WAS
TRUDIE AND HER PROJECTS.
947
00:41:36,647 --> 00:41:38,499
AND OF COURSE BOBO BLONKERS.
948
00:41:38,534 --> 00:41:41,373
BOBO BLONKERS?
949
00:41:41,408 --> 00:41:43,101
HER IMAGINARY FRIEND.
950
00:41:43,136 --> 00:41:45,103
THANKS, MOM.
THANKS A LOT.
951
00:41:45,138 --> 00:41:46,465
WHAT?
WHAT WAS THAT?
952
00:41:46,501 --> 00:41:48,293
ARE YOU TALKING
TO BOBO BLONKERS RIGHT NOW?
953
00:41:48,328 --> 00:41:49,639
I HAVE AN IDEA.
954
00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:51,225
WHY DON'T WE LET NICK
955
00:41:51,261 --> 00:41:52,348
PUT THE ANGEL UP
ON THE TREE THIS YEAR?
956
00:41:52,383 --> 00:41:54,233
UM, MOM...
957
00:41:54,269 --> 00:41:57,124
I'VE BEEN DOING IT
SINCE I WAS FOUR YEARS OLD.
958
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:57,532
REMEMBER WHEN DAD
USED TO HOLD ME UP
959
00:41:57,566 --> 00:42:00,356
TO THE TOP OF THE TREE
AND I WAS SO CUTE UP THERE?
960
00:42:00,391 --> 00:42:01,860
I KNOW, HONEY.
DON'T BE SELFISH.
961
00:42:01,895 --> 00:42:04,992
DAD, IT'S MY THING.
962
00:42:05,027 --> 00:42:06,902
I MEAN, THIS IS MY MOMENT.
963
00:42:06,937 --> 00:42:08,297
YOU KNOW, IT'S TRADITION.
964
00:42:08,333 --> 00:42:08,997
DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT
THAT ANYMORE?
965
00:42:09,031 --> 00:42:11,455
TRUDIE, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH STARTING A NEW TRADITION?
966
00:42:11,490 --> 00:42:13,731
NICK, UP THE TREE.
967
00:42:13,766 --> 00:42:15,568
OH, THANKS.
ALL RIGHT.
968
00:42:15,602 --> 00:42:17,910
THANK YOU.
969
00:42:17,945 --> 00:42:19,147
YEAH.
970
00:42:19,183 --> 00:42:22,878
HEY, THERE SHE IS.
971
00:42:22,913 --> 00:42:25,271
[all shouting
and laughing]
972
00:42:42,460 --> 00:42:44,627
WOO!
973
00:42:44,662 --> 00:42:46,206
[all cheering]
974
00:42:55,238 --> 00:42:57,188
(David)
WOW, THIS IS REALLY
A GREAT PLACE.
975
00:42:57,224 --> 00:42:59,057
YOU KNOW, THERE'S
AN INCREDIBLE CRAFTSMANSHIP
976
00:42:59,093 --> 00:43:01,433
THAT GOES INTO A CABINLIKE THIS.
977
00:43:01,468 --> 00:43:04,698
I'D SAY THIS IS ADIRONDACK STYLE
WITH A CONTEMPORARY TWIST.
978
00:43:04,733 --> 00:43:06,600
YES, IN THE ADIRONDACKS,
979
00:43:06,636 --> 00:43:09,076
I STARRED
IN A REVIVAL OF MEDEA.
980
00:43:09,111 --> 00:43:11,095
YES, WE KNOW THAT,
MOTHER!
981
00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:12,084
YOU DON'T NEED
TO SHOUT, DEAR.
982
00:43:12,119 --> 00:43:13,745
I'M NOT DEAF.
983
00:43:15,990 --> 00:43:17,226
NICK, WOULD YOU LIKE
ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE?
984
00:43:17,260 --> 00:43:19,269
SURE.
985
00:43:19,304 --> 00:43:23,190
TRUDIE, WOULD YOU GET HIM
ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE, PLEASE?
986
00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:25,591
WELL, HE KNOWS
WHERE THE KITCHEN IS.
987
00:43:25,626 --> 00:43:28,823
ARE YOU TRYING
TO RUIN CHRISTMAS?
988
00:43:31,458 --> 00:43:34,190
OH, THANK YOU,
BUNNYKINS!
989
00:43:34,226 --> 00:43:36,549
[chuckling]
990
00:43:36,585 --> 00:43:39,980
NICK, EVERY CHRISTMAS EVE,
991
00:43:40,015 --> 00:43:41,841
WE READ 'TWAS THE NIGHTBEFORE CHRISTMAS.
992
00:43:41,876 --> 00:43:43,411
AND I WAS WONDERING
IF MAYBE
993
00:43:43,446 --> 00:43:45,031
YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO
THE HONORS.
994
00:43:45,066 --> 00:43:48,163
[family cheers
and applauds]
995
00:43:48,198 --> 00:43:50,115
REALLY?
OH, WOW.
996
00:43:50,150 --> 00:43:53,571
OKAY.
997
00:43:53,606 --> 00:43:56,022
THAT'S IT.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
998
00:43:56,057 --> 00:43:57,443
WHOA.
999
00:44:01,566 --> 00:44:04,256
UH, I'M GONNA--YEAH.
1000
00:44:06,293 --> 00:44:08,409
YEAH, SMART.
1001
00:44:12,813 --> 00:44:14,424
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
1002
00:44:14,459 --> 00:44:15,653
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH ME?
1003
00:44:15,689 --> 00:44:16,908
THEY'RE FAWNING
ALL OVER YOU
1004
00:44:16,943 --> 00:44:18,220
LIKE THE LAST PIECE
OF FILET MIGNON.
1005
00:44:18,255 --> 00:44:19,723
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED.
1006
00:44:19,759 --> 00:44:20,662
ISN'T THAT THE WHOLE
POINT OF ALL THIS?
1007
00:44:20,698 --> 00:44:22,390
YEAH, BUT--
BUT WHAT?
1008
00:44:22,426 --> 00:44:25,231
MY FAMILY LIKES YOU
1009
00:44:25,267 --> 00:44:27,682
MORE THAN...THEY LIKE ME.
1010
00:44:32,296 --> 00:44:34,212
WELL, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT
TO READ THE STUPID STORY.
1011
00:44:34,246 --> 00:44:36,322
SO DON'T READ THE STORY.
1012
00:44:36,358 --> 00:44:37,684
I DON'T CARE
IF YOU READ THE STORY.
1013
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:39,504
WELL, THEN FINE.
1014
00:44:39,539 --> 00:44:41,308
THEN I'M GONNA READTHE STORY.
1015
00:44:41,342 --> 00:44:42,337
FINE.
1016
00:44:42,372 --> 00:44:44,978
FINE.
1017
00:44:45,013 --> 00:44:48,384
[moaning]
1018
00:44:48,420 --> 00:44:51,044
(Richard)LOVE THIS PIE.
1019
00:44:51,078 --> 00:44:54,624
[moaning]
1020
00:44:54,660 --> 00:44:56,352
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
1021
00:44:56,387 --> 00:44:58,055
YEAH, IT'S FINE, MOM.
1022
00:44:58,090 --> 00:45:00,190
(David)THANK YOU.
1023
00:45:00,226 --> 00:45:02,442
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
1024
00:45:02,477 --> 00:45:05,100
"TWAS THE NIGHT
BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
1025
00:45:05,135 --> 00:45:07,302
"WHEN ALL THROUGHTHE HOUSE
1026
00:45:07,337 --> 00:45:08,406
"NOT A CREATUREWAS STIRRING,
1027
00:45:08,441 --> 00:45:09,644
"NOT EVEN A MOUSE.
1028
00:45:09,679 --> 00:45:13,458
"THE STOCKINGS WERE HUNGBY THE CHIMNEY WITH CARE
1029
00:45:13,492 --> 00:45:17,994
"IN HOPES THAT ST. NICHOLASSOON WOULD BE THERE.
1030
00:45:18,029 --> 00:45:21,100
"THE CHILDREN WERE NESTLEDALL SNUG IN THEIR BEDS
1031
00:45:21,135 --> 00:45:25,312
WHILE VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS
DANCED IN THEIR HEADS."
1032
00:45:25,347 --> 00:45:27,987
[sentimental music]
1033
00:45:28,022 --> 00:45:31,161
♪ ♪
1034
00:45:31,196 --> 00:45:32,755
[laughter and applause]
1035
00:45:32,791 --> 00:45:34,724
WELL DONE!
1036
00:45:39,537 --> 00:45:41,063
MOM, WE DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE
OREOS AND MILK
1037
00:45:41,099 --> 00:45:42,418
FOR SANTA THIS YEAR.
1038
00:45:42,453 --> 00:45:45,242
WHAT IF SANTA'S HUNGRY?
1039
00:45:45,277 --> 00:45:46,023
WILL YOU PUT THAT AWAY?
MM-HMM.
1040
00:45:48,251 --> 00:45:50,518
MOM, COME ON,
WE'RE ALL ADULTS HERE.
1041
00:45:50,552 --> 00:45:52,171
WE DON'T HAVE TO WRITE
LETTERS.
1042
00:45:52,206 --> 00:45:52,919
HOW IS SANTA GOING TO KNOW
WHAT YOU WANT?
1043
00:45:56,708 --> 00:45:58,451
GOOD NIGHT.
1044
00:45:58,487 --> 00:46:00,395
GOOD NIGHT.
1045
00:46:00,430 --> 00:46:02,745
HMM.
1046
00:46:02,781 --> 00:46:06,327
YOU CAN'T EAT THOSE.
1047
00:46:06,362 --> 00:46:07,574
WHAT'S IT GONNA LOOK LIKE
1048
00:46:07,608 --> 00:46:09,957
IF SANTA DOESN'T EAT
HIS COOKIES?
1049
00:46:09,992 --> 00:46:12,167
FIGURES YOU'RE A DUNKER.
1050
00:46:12,202 --> 00:46:13,671
OF COURSE.
1051
00:46:13,705 --> 00:46:15,307
WHAT ARE YOU,
A TWISTER?
1052
00:46:15,343 --> 00:46:18,115
THAT'S SO WRONG
IN SO MANY WAYS.
1053
00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:19,461
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET
THIS OVER WITH.
1054
00:46:22,894 --> 00:46:24,811
OH, THIS SO DUMB.
1055
00:46:24,847 --> 00:46:27,287
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT EXPECTING
MUCH FROM SANTA.
1056
00:46:27,322 --> 00:46:28,906
A FEDERAL OFFENSE
PROBABLY PUTS YOU
1057
00:46:28,942 --> 00:46:31,748
ON THE NAUGHTY LIST
THIS YEAR.
1058
00:46:31,783 --> 00:46:33,459
LAUGH IT UP.
YOU'VE GOTTA DO ONE TOO.
1059
00:46:33,494 --> 00:46:36,716
HMM?
1060
00:46:36,751 --> 00:46:38,069
THIS MAY TAKE A WHILE.
1061
00:46:47,194 --> 00:46:49,817
I'M GONNA ASK FOR A NEW
FULLY LOADED S.U.V.
1062
00:46:49,852 --> 00:46:52,110
HMM, INTERESTING.
1063
00:46:52,145 --> 00:46:55,026
I'M GONNA ASK FOR AN END
TO GLOBAL WARMING.
1064
00:46:55,061 --> 00:46:56,289
WHAT, YOU THINK MY LIST
IS SUPERFICIAL?
1065
00:46:56,323 --> 00:46:57,019
I DON'T KNOW.
LET ME SEE IT.
1066
00:46:57,054 --> 00:46:59,378
NO.
1067
00:46:59,414 --> 00:47:01,206
YOU WANT A PASTA MACHINE?
1068
00:47:01,241 --> 00:47:03,376
I LIKE TO COOK.
1069
00:47:03,378 --> 00:47:06,099
DON'T YOU WANT SOMETHING
MORE, YOU KNOW, MEANINGFUL?
1070
00:47:06,134 --> 00:47:08,717
I HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT.
1071
00:47:08,751 --> 00:47:12,381
GREAT JOB.
BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND.
1072
00:47:16,843 --> 00:47:18,827
LET ME SEE YOURS.
1073
00:47:18,862 --> 00:47:22,358
"TIKI LIGHTS.
CHINESE TEA POT.
1074
00:47:22,393 --> 00:47:25,756
STOP DISAPPOINTING
MY PARENTS."
1075
00:47:28,474 --> 00:47:30,591
COME ON, I'M SURE
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
1076
00:47:30,626 --> 00:47:33,174
BELIEVE ME, IT'S TRUE.
1077
00:47:33,209 --> 00:47:34,585
LOOK, YOUR PARENTS
ARE GOOD PEOPLE.
1078
00:47:34,621 --> 00:47:38,150
AND THEY LOVE YOU.
1079
00:47:38,186 --> 00:47:41,739
I JUST WISH FOR ONCE
THEY'D LOOK AT ME...
1080
00:47:41,774 --> 00:47:42,769
YOU KNOW, THE WAY
THEY LOOK AT YOU.
1081
00:47:42,805 --> 00:47:44,339
THEY DO.
1082
00:47:44,374 --> 00:47:45,694
THEY DON'T.
1083
00:47:49,550 --> 00:47:51,575
THE BEST CHRISTMAS
I EVER HAD, I WAS TEN.
1084
00:47:51,610 --> 00:47:53,627
I WAS TAKING
FIGURE SKATING LESSONS,
1085
00:47:53,662 --> 00:47:54,524
AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE
THIS BIG RECITAL
1086
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:55,828
ON CHRISTMAS EVE.
1087
00:47:55,864 --> 00:47:57,498
THERE WAS
THIS HUGE SNOWSTORM
1088
00:47:57,533 --> 00:47:58,495
AND THEY CANCELLED IT.
1089
00:47:58,530 --> 00:48:01,926
OH, I WAS SO UPSET.
1090
00:48:01,962 --> 00:48:03,604
BUT OUR HOUSE HAD
THIS PATIO IN THE BACK,
1091
00:48:03,639 --> 00:48:05,149
AND MY DAD SHOVELED IT
1092
00:48:05,185 --> 00:48:07,409
AND RAN THE HOSE OVER IT
AND MADE ICE.
1093
00:48:07,445 --> 00:48:10,833
AND MY MOM PUT LIGHTS IN ALL
THE TREES IN THE BACKYARD.
1094
00:48:10,868 --> 00:48:14,995
OH, THE GLOW WAS
SO BEAUTIFUL.
1095
00:48:15,030 --> 00:48:18,393
AND IT WAS SO QUIET.
1096
00:48:18,395 --> 00:48:20,702
AND THAT CHRISTMAS EVE,
I SKATED MY LITTLE ROUTINE
1097
00:48:20,737 --> 00:48:22,787
WITH MY PARENTS WATCHING.
1098
00:48:22,822 --> 00:48:26,975
IT WAS LIKE I WAS THE ONLY
PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
1099
00:48:27,009 --> 00:48:30,040
THEY WERE SO PROUD OF ME.
1100
00:48:30,075 --> 00:48:33,162
BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY
THINGS CHANGED,
1101
00:48:33,198 --> 00:48:37,292
AND I JUST...WISH
THEY STILL FELT THAT WAY
1102
00:48:37,327 --> 00:48:40,358
ABOUT ME, YOU KNOW?
1103
00:48:43,649 --> 00:48:45,683
YOU KNOW,
I THINK PARENTS
1104
00:48:45,718 --> 00:48:48,075
WANT THE BEST
FOR THEIR KIDS.
1105
00:48:48,111 --> 00:48:50,949
BUT SOMETIMES THEY DON'T
KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
1106
00:48:56,251 --> 00:48:57,845
WE SHOULD PROBABLY
HIDE THE EVIDENCE.
1107
00:49:10,508 --> 00:49:13,704
[Christmas rock music
playing]
1108
00:49:13,739 --> 00:49:15,822
[laughter and chattering]
1109
00:49:15,857 --> 00:49:18,273
HELLO!
1110
00:49:18,308 --> 00:49:19,801
HELLO?
1111
00:49:19,837 --> 00:49:22,228
HELLO!
1112
00:49:22,263 --> 00:49:24,861
EXCUSE ME, THERE'S
A CONCERNED CITIZEN HERE
1113
00:49:24,897 --> 00:49:27,170
WHO NEEDS HELP
FROM HER CIVIL SERVANTS.
1114
00:49:27,205 --> 00:49:29,895
YOO-HOO!
HEY!
1115
00:49:29,931 --> 00:49:32,138
[chattering stops]
1116
00:49:32,173 --> 00:49:33,999
SOMEBODY BETTER
PAY ATTENTION TO ME.
1117
00:49:34,034 --> 00:49:35,936
SHE'S ALL YOURS, PAL.
1118
00:49:39,235 --> 00:49:41,510
LET ME GUESS.
DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE?
1119
00:49:41,545 --> 00:49:46,070
NO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1120
00:49:46,106 --> 00:49:48,396
I'M HERE TO REPORT
A KIDNAPPING.
1121
00:49:55,344 --> 00:49:57,700
♪ DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW ♪
1122
00:49:57,736 --> 00:49:59,877
♪ IN A ONE-HORSE
OPEN SLEIGH ♪
1123
00:49:59,912 --> 00:50:03,807
[family chattering]
1124
00:50:03,842 --> 00:50:06,515
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1125
00:50:06,550 --> 00:50:08,966
MOTHER, ISN'T IT
A LITTLE EARLY?
1126
00:50:09,001 --> 00:50:11,193
EARLY FOR WHO,
SUGAR BRITCHES?
1127
00:50:11,228 --> 00:50:12,970
I HAVE TO SPEND
ANOTHER ENTIRE DAY
1128
00:50:13,004 --> 00:50:14,607
TRAPPED WITH
YOU YAHOOS.
1129
00:50:14,643 --> 00:50:17,257
MAMA'S GONNA NEED
A LITTLE HELP.
1130
00:50:17,292 --> 00:50:19,998
OKAY.
1131
00:50:20,034 --> 00:50:21,535
EVERYBODY, HERE'S
THE SCHEDULE FOR TODAY.
1132
00:50:21,571 --> 00:50:23,529
JAKE AND KATIE, YOU'LL BEON KITCHEN DUTY WITH ME.
1133
00:50:23,564 --> 00:50:24,909
RICHARD,
YOU'RE CHOPPING FIREWOOD.
1134
00:50:24,943 --> 00:50:27,783
MOTHER--
HMM?
1135
00:50:27,818 --> 00:50:29,237
DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
1136
00:50:29,272 --> 00:50:32,808
TRUDIE, YOU AND NICK
GO OUTSIDE AND HAVE SOME FUN.
1137
00:50:32,844 --> 00:50:35,184
I'VE LEFT SOME WARM JACKETSAND STUFF BY THE BACK DOOR.
1138
00:50:35,220 --> 00:50:37,760
PRESENTS ARE AT 4:00.
DINNER WILL BE AT 7:00.
1139
00:50:37,795 --> 00:50:39,688
THAT'S IT!
1140
00:50:39,723 --> 00:50:42,511
YOU KNOW, ABOUT LAST NIGHT,
1141
00:50:42,547 --> 00:50:44,390
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET
PERSONAL, AND, YOU KNOW--
1142
00:50:48,528 --> 00:50:50,412
WHAT?
1143
00:50:50,448 --> 00:50:52,855
OH, MY GOD.
NEVER MIND.
1144
00:50:52,890 --> 00:50:55,605
WHAT?
1145
00:50:55,639 --> 00:50:57,116
THAT'S GREAT.
1146
00:50:57,152 --> 00:50:58,986
YOU'RE JUSTCHECKING OUT MY SISTER.
1147
00:50:59,022 --> 00:51:00,390
I MEAN, WHY WOULDN'T YOU BE?OF COURSE YOU ARE.
1148
00:51:00,425 --> 00:51:01,935
SHE'S GORGEOUS
AND GRACEFUL AND--
1149
00:51:01,970 --> 00:51:03,712
YOUR SISTER ISVERY LIMBER.
1150
00:51:03,748 --> 00:51:05,906
UGH.
1151
00:51:05,941 --> 00:51:07,751
YOU'RE JEALOUS.
1152
00:51:07,786 --> 00:51:09,378
I AM NOT!
ARE TOO.
1153
00:51:09,414 --> 00:51:10,550
AM NOT!
ARE TOO!
1154
00:51:10,585 --> 00:51:11,389
AM NOT!
1155
00:51:13,958 --> 00:51:14,720
DO RICH KIDS
EVEN PLAY HOCKEY?
1156
00:51:14,755 --> 00:51:16,839
I PLAYED MY FAIR SHARE.
1157
00:51:16,874 --> 00:51:18,076
WELL, I'VE BEEN PLAYING
WITH MY BROTHER
1158
00:51:18,112 --> 00:51:19,056
SINCE I COULD WALK,
SO LET'S GO.
1159
00:51:19,092 --> 00:51:22,264
[soft rock music]
1160
00:51:22,299 --> 00:51:23,851
[laughing]
YES!
1161
00:51:23,886 --> 00:51:25,487
OH.
1162
00:51:25,522 --> 00:51:26,384
I'M OKAY, I'M OKAY.
1163
00:51:29,710 --> 00:51:31,867
UNH!
OH!
1164
00:51:31,903 --> 00:51:32,781
YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO DO THIS?
1165
00:51:32,816 --> 00:51:34,235
YEAH, COME ON.
1166
00:51:37,693 --> 00:51:39,011
UNH! UNH!
1167
00:51:43,707 --> 00:51:45,475
(David)SORRY.
1168
00:51:45,510 --> 00:51:47,037
YOU KNOW, I GOTTA
GIVE IT TO YOU.
1169
00:51:47,071 --> 00:51:48,914
YOU'RE PRETTY SCRAPPY.
1170
00:51:48,950 --> 00:51:49,828
UM, I THINK YOU'VE HAD
ENOUGH FOR NOW.
1171
00:51:49,863 --> 00:51:51,805
[chuckling]
1172
00:51:51,841 --> 00:51:54,331
SO WHAT DO YOU DOFOR FUN?
1173
00:51:54,365 --> 00:51:56,640
FOR FUN?
1174
00:51:56,676 --> 00:51:58,277
YOU KNOW, WHAT ARE YOU
INTERESTED IN?
1175
00:51:58,312 --> 00:52:00,121
I PAINT.
REALLY?
1176
00:52:00,156 --> 00:52:01,850
WHAT KIND OF PAINTINGS?
1177
00:52:01,885 --> 00:52:04,034
PORTRAITS MOSTLY.
1178
00:52:04,070 --> 00:52:06,634
YOU KNOW, LIKE
POST-IMPRESSIONIST STUFF.
1179
00:52:06,670 --> 00:52:08,371
IT'S A FOCUS ON COLOR
OVER LINE--
1180
00:52:08,406 --> 00:52:09,891
I KNOW WHAT
POST-IMPRESSIONISM IS.
1181
00:52:09,927 --> 00:52:12,765
LIKE CEZANNE, OR MORE
LIKE ALICE NEEL?
1182
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,715
I LOVE ALICE NEEL.
YOU KNOW ALICE NEEL?
1183
00:52:15,750 --> 00:52:18,888
YOU SHOULDN'T JUMP
TO CONCLUSIONS ABOUT PEOPLE.
1184
00:52:18,923 --> 00:52:20,574
SO WHAT DO YOU BESIDES
BUILD COOKIE CUTTER
1185
00:52:20,609 --> 00:52:23,009
CONDOMINIUMS
FOR THE MASSES?
1186
00:52:23,044 --> 00:52:25,983
I DIDN'T START OUT
TO DO THAT.
1187
00:52:26,018 --> 00:52:27,511
I ACTUALLY STUDIED
ARCHITECTURE.
1188
00:52:27,546 --> 00:52:30,353
FOR A WHILE THERE I THOUGHT
I WAS GONNA GO OUT ON MY OWN.
1189
00:52:30,388 --> 00:52:32,454
WHY DIDN'T YOU?
1190
00:52:32,489 --> 00:52:34,042
WELL, IT'S RISKY,
AND THERE'S NO MONEY IN IT
1191
00:52:34,077 --> 00:52:36,051
UNLESS YOU'RE ESTABLISHED.
1192
00:52:36,086 --> 00:52:37,465
WELL, WHAT ABOUT
YOUR PARENTS?
1193
00:52:37,499 --> 00:52:38,518
WOULDN'T THEY HAVE
HELPED YOU GET STARTED?
1194
00:52:38,554 --> 00:52:40,039
YEAH, THEY WOULD'VE
1195
00:52:40,074 --> 00:52:41,451
IF THEY HAD TWO NICKELS
TO RUB TOGETHER.
1196
00:52:41,486 --> 00:52:44,758
THEY WERE BOTH
SCHOOL TEACHERS.
1197
00:52:44,794 --> 00:52:46,170
THEY DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT
WHEN I WAS NINE.
1198
00:52:46,205 --> 00:52:50,083
OH...I'M SO SORRY.
1199
00:52:50,119 --> 00:52:52,085
BUT YOU SAID
YOU GREW UP WELL OFF.
1200
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,146
NO, YOU DID.
1201
00:52:54,181 --> 00:52:55,765
I LIVED WITH MY GRANDFATHER
1202
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:57,834
IN A ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT
UNTIL I WAS 18.
1203
00:52:57,869 --> 00:53:01,556
I WORKED MY WAY THROUGH COLLEGE
MOWING LAWNS FOR THE CITY.
1204
00:53:01,591 --> 00:53:03,882
THAT MUST'VE BEEN TOUGH.
1205
00:53:03,884 --> 00:53:05,826
YOU KNOW, IT ACTUALLY
HELPED ME IN CERTAIN WAYS.
1206
00:53:05,861 --> 00:53:08,402
I LEARNED AT ANY EARLY AGE
THAT WE'RE ALL ON OUR OWN.
1207
00:53:22,028 --> 00:53:23,779
WOULD YOU GO, PLEASE?
1208
00:53:23,814 --> 00:53:25,016
DON'T RUSH ME.
1209
00:53:33,775 --> 00:53:34,994
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
1210
00:53:35,029 --> 00:53:36,855
HA!
1211
00:53:39,432 --> 00:53:40,908
HA.
1212
00:53:40,944 --> 00:53:43,492
AW, THAT'S TOO BAD.
1213
00:53:43,528 --> 00:53:45,253
MAKING A MOVE LIKE THAT
MUST BE KILLING YOU.
1214
00:53:45,289 --> 00:53:47,804
HEY!
1215
00:53:47,839 --> 00:53:49,831
WHY DO YOU KEEP
HITTING YOURSELF?
[giggling]
1216
00:53:49,867 --> 00:53:51,460
SERIOUSLY, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
1217
00:53:51,495 --> 00:53:53,163
TRUDIE, I'M STARTING
TO WORRY ABOUT YOU NOW.
1218
00:53:53,198 --> 00:53:53,761
OH, MY GOSH, YOU HAVE
TO STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.
1219
00:53:53,795 --> 00:53:55,812
STOP!
1220
00:53:55,848 --> 00:53:57,191
GIVE IT BACK.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT.
1221
00:53:57,226 --> 00:53:58,280
BUT YOU DID IT.
IT'S DONE.
1222
00:53:58,315 --> 00:53:59,751
IT WAS A MISTAKE.
1223
00:53:59,786 --> 00:54:00,930
YOU CAN'T TAKE
SOMETHING BACK
1224
00:54:00,965 --> 00:54:04,078
ONCE IT'S
ALREADY DONE.
1225
00:54:04,114 --> 00:54:06,687
EVEN IF YOU REALIZE
RIGHT AWAY
1226
00:54:06,722 --> 00:54:08,672
IT WAS WRONG
AND...YOU'RE SORRY?
1227
00:54:12,562 --> 00:54:16,274
FINE.
1228
00:54:16,310 --> 00:54:17,479
BUT KNOW
THAT YOU'RE A CHEATER.
1229
00:54:21,959 --> 00:54:23,128
SUCH A CHEATER.
1230
00:54:28,090 --> 00:54:29,276
I'M GONNA GO GET
SOME MILK FOR THESE.
1231
00:54:31,022 --> 00:54:34,376
IT'S COVERED IN STONES--
1232
00:54:34,411 --> 00:54:36,212
OH, OH!
1233
00:54:38,109 --> 00:54:41,321
OH, WELL, WE'RE NOT INTO
PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION.
1234
00:54:41,356 --> 00:54:42,892
RIGHT.
1235
00:54:42,927 --> 00:54:44,321
COME ON, DON'T BE
SUCH A PRUDE.
1236
00:54:44,356 --> 00:54:45,343
YEAH, SORRY.
YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.
1237
00:54:45,378 --> 00:54:46,555
IT'S MISTLETOE.
1238
00:54:53,777 --> 00:54:55,693
[humming Wedding March]
1239
00:54:55,728 --> 00:54:57,795
MOM!
1240
00:54:57,831 --> 00:55:01,144
I'LL GET THE MILK.
1241
00:55:01,179 --> 00:55:04,757
OH, THIS IS IT.
THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.
1242
00:55:04,792 --> 00:55:07,740
AREN'T YOU GONNA
DRAW YOUR GUNS?
1243
00:55:07,775 --> 00:55:10,115
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
1244
00:55:10,150 --> 00:55:11,960
WELCOME TO TAJ'S
DINER DELUXE.
1245
00:55:11,995 --> 00:55:14,975
WE HAVE A DELICIOUS
HO-HO HOT DOG SPECIAL TODAY.
1246
00:55:15,010 --> 00:55:16,870
WE'RE NOT HERE TO EAT.
1247
00:55:16,905 --> 00:55:17,801
WE'RE HEREBECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND
1248
00:55:17,836 --> 00:55:21,289
WAS KIDNAPPED BY ONE
OF YOUR WAITRESSES YESTERDAY.
1249
00:55:21,324 --> 00:55:23,657
YEAH, FEMALE, 5'2",
1250
00:55:23,692 --> 00:55:26,083
CRAZY HAIR, CRAZY EYES.
1251
00:55:26,118 --> 00:55:28,492
YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO FITSTHAT DESCRIPTION?
1252
00:55:28,527 --> 00:55:29,921
APPARENTLY HE WAS TAKEN
AT GUNPOINT.
1253
00:55:29,956 --> 00:55:32,039
DO YOU KNOW WHERE
SHE MAY HAVE GOTTEN A GUN?
1254
00:55:32,074 --> 00:55:34,864
OH, UH, NO, NO.
1255
00:55:34,899 --> 00:55:35,902
NO, I DON'T KNOW--
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
1256
00:55:43,581 --> 00:55:46,055
MOM, ISN'T IT TIME
FOR PRESENTS?
1257
00:55:46,090 --> 00:55:47,259
OH, IS IT?
1258
00:55:47,294 --> 00:55:48,887
IT'S 4:00 P.M.
HMM.
1259
00:55:48,923 --> 00:55:50,764
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
1260
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:52,069
OH, I'M FOLDING
YOUR FATHER'S JOCKEY SHORTS.
1261
00:55:52,104 --> 00:55:55,309
SOMETIMES I HAVE DREAMS
1262
00:55:55,311 --> 00:55:57,926
THAT HUNDREDS OF PAIRS
OF UNDERWEAR ENVELOPE ME.
1263
00:55:57,961 --> 00:56:00,651
DO YOU EVER HAVEDREAMS LIKE THAT?
1264
00:56:00,686 --> 00:56:02,279
NO.
MOM, ARE YOU OKAY?
1265
00:56:05,179 --> 00:56:06,483
DO YOU KNOW THAT
YOUR FATHER'S THE ONLY MAN
1266
00:56:06,518 --> 00:56:09,183
I HAVE EVER SLEPT WITH?
1267
00:56:09,218 --> 00:56:11,275
HAVE YOU SLEPT
WITH MORE THAN ONE MAN?
1268
00:56:11,311 --> 00:56:13,810
[exhales]
NO.
1269
00:56:13,846 --> 00:56:15,488
OF COURSE YOU HAVE.
1270
00:56:15,524 --> 00:56:16,891
IT'S THE WAY
OF THE MODERN WORLD.
1271
00:56:16,927 --> 00:56:19,508
YOU BOINK A WHOLE LOT
OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
1272
00:56:19,544 --> 00:56:23,936
YOU DON'T JUST PICK ONE
AND HOPE FOR THE BEST.
1273
00:56:23,972 --> 00:56:26,238
WELL, I'M PRETTY SURE
IT'S TIME FOR PRESENTS.
1274
00:56:26,273 --> 00:56:27,036
COME ON.
1275
00:56:30,318 --> 00:56:32,403
OH, HONEY, YOU'RE RIGHT.
1276
00:56:32,437 --> 00:56:34,804
YES, OKAY,
LET'S GO, GO, GO.
1277
00:56:34,839 --> 00:56:37,462
[clock ticking]
1278
00:57:01,382 --> 00:57:04,536
NICK, TIME FOR PRESENTS!
1279
00:57:04,571 --> 00:57:07,884
GRANDMA.
JAKE.
1280
00:57:07,919 --> 00:57:10,018
THANK YOU.
1281
00:57:10,054 --> 00:57:12,186
HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING
STRANGE ABOUT MOM?
1282
00:57:12,222 --> 00:57:14,539
LIKE MORE THAN USUAL?
1283
00:57:14,574 --> 00:57:16,066
YEAH, I JUST HAD A WEIRD
CONVERSATION WITH HER,
1284
00:57:16,102 --> 00:57:19,165
AND I THINK SHE MIGHT NOT
BE SO HAPPY WITH DAD.
1285
00:57:19,201 --> 00:57:21,449
WHAT?
THAT'S CRAZY.
1286
00:57:21,485 --> 00:57:22,339
SHE USED THE WORD "BOINK."
1287
00:57:22,374 --> 00:57:24,491
EW.
YEAH.
1288
00:57:24,526 --> 00:57:29,749
NICK, FOR YOU.
TRUDIE, FOR YOU.
1289
00:57:29,784 --> 00:57:32,042
CAN I?
1290
00:57:32,078 --> 00:57:34,194
MM-HMM.
NICK'S GONNA--
1291
00:57:34,229 --> 00:57:35,432
(Richard)IT'S A BACK SCRUBBER!
1292
00:57:35,467 --> 00:57:37,782
(Katherine)EXFOLIATION ISTHE KEY TO GOOD SKIN.
1293
00:57:37,818 --> 00:57:39,810
YEAH, COOL.
1294
00:57:39,846 --> 00:57:40,657
(Trudie)WOW, GOOD JOB, MOM.
1295
00:57:40,692 --> 00:57:42,302
THANK YOU.
1296
00:57:48,626 --> 00:57:49,978
IT JUST LIGHTS UP YOUR FACE.
1297
00:57:50,013 --> 00:57:51,574
PINK.
1298
00:57:51,609 --> 00:57:53,476
SMILE!
[Christmas rock music]
1299
00:57:53,511 --> 00:57:54,406
OH, BEAUTIFUL.
1300
00:57:54,441 --> 00:57:57,380
ALL RIGHT.
1301
00:57:57,415 --> 00:57:57,829
(Richard)GOTTA LOOK THE PART, SON.
1302
00:57:57,864 --> 00:57:59,291
GREED IS GOOD.
1303
00:57:59,326 --> 00:58:01,592
WOW.
1304
00:58:01,627 --> 00:58:03,370
(Katherine)YOUR DAD FOUND THAT.
1305
00:58:03,405 --> 00:58:04,807
IT LISTS EVERY LAW FIRMIN AMERICA.
1306
00:58:04,842 --> 00:58:06,635
OKAY.
1307
00:58:06,671 --> 00:58:08,279
(Katherine)WELL, YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING
1308
00:58:08,315 --> 00:58:09,285
YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGHUNDERWEAR.
1309
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:12,234
OH, MY GOSH.
THIS IS REALLY HEAVY.
1310
00:58:12,269 --> 00:58:14,909
OH, GREATFOR TIGHTENING SCREWS.
1311
00:58:18,715 --> 00:58:20,318
EWW...
1312
00:58:20,353 --> 00:58:22,926
(Katie)I PICKED THAT OUT.
1313
00:58:22,961 --> 00:58:25,377
OH, TRUDIE, ONE MORE GIFT.
IT'S FOR YOU.
1314
00:58:37,989 --> 00:58:39,699
WELL, WE JUST THOUGHT THAT--
1315
00:58:39,734 --> 00:58:42,374
YEAH.
1316
00:58:42,409 --> 00:58:43,753
(Richard)HEY, LOOK, TRUDIE,
1317
00:58:43,788 --> 00:58:44,866
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED THE OTHER DAY
1318
00:58:44,901 --> 00:58:46,611
WITH MR. PORTNOY, BUT...
1319
00:58:46,647 --> 00:58:49,336
[exhales]
I THINK IT'S TIME TO GET
YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS.
1320
00:58:49,371 --> 00:58:51,595
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
1321
00:58:51,630 --> 00:58:53,091
YOU NEED TO GROW UPAND GET FOCUSED
1322
00:58:53,126 --> 00:58:55,824
ON A LEGITIMATE CAREER.
1323
00:58:55,859 --> 00:58:57,261
YOU'RE UNSETTLED.YOU'RE UNFOCUSED.
1324
00:58:57,296 --> 00:58:58,731
YOU NEED TO FIND SOMETHING
TO DO REALLY WELL.
1325
00:58:58,767 --> 00:59:01,805
BUT I HAVE, I DO.
IT'S PAINTING.
1326
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:03,144
I MEAN, IT'S THE ONLY THING
I CARE ABOUT.
1327
00:59:03,146 --> 00:59:04,141
IT'S THE ONLY THING
THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE ME.
1328
00:59:04,176 --> 00:59:06,922
THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
1329
00:59:06,958 --> 00:59:08,818
RIGHT NOW.
1330
00:59:08,853 --> 00:59:10,454
YOU CAN PAINT,
OR DRAW, OR COLOR
1331
00:59:10,489 --> 00:59:11,933
IN YOUR SPARE TIME.
1332
00:59:11,968 --> 00:59:13,012
I AM TALKING ABOUT
YOUR LIFE HERE.
1333
00:59:13,047 --> 00:59:15,364
SO AM I!
1334
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:16,610
DON'T YOU WANT TO DO
SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE?
1335
00:59:16,645 --> 00:59:18,828
YES, BUT--
1336
00:59:18,863 --> 00:59:19,543
HONEY, WE JUST--WE WERE
JUST TRYING TO HELP.
1337
00:59:27,537 --> 00:59:30,691
UM, MR. CHANDLER,
1338
00:59:30,727 --> 00:59:33,233
IF YOU DON'T MIND MESAYING, SIR,
1339
00:59:33,267 --> 00:59:35,501
I'VE SEEN TRUDIE'S PAINTING.
1340
00:59:35,537 --> 00:59:37,122
AND, WELL,
1341
00:59:37,156 --> 00:59:40,867
THEY'RE RAW
AND EXPRESSIVE.
1342
00:59:40,903 --> 00:59:44,847
COMPLEX AND, WELL,
A LITTLE STRANGE.
1343
00:59:44,882 --> 00:59:48,162
BUT...REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
1344
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:55,447
AND...
1345
00:59:55,483 --> 00:59:56,469
I HAVE ONE MORE
GIFT FOR HER.
1346
01:00:03,624 --> 01:00:05,159
GERTRUDE CHANDLER...
1347
01:00:05,194 --> 01:00:06,189
OH!
1348
01:00:06,224 --> 01:00:07,875
OH!
1349
01:00:07,911 --> 01:00:08,807
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
1350
01:00:14,739 --> 01:00:21,250
YES.
1351
01:00:21,286 --> 01:00:23,003
OH, MY!
1352
01:00:23,038 --> 01:00:25,588
OH, MY!
1353
01:00:25,623 --> 01:00:28,238
OH, MY GOSH!
1354
01:00:28,273 --> 01:00:30,331
THIS IS
THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT
1355
01:00:30,366 --> 01:00:32,691
YOU COULD EVER GIVE ME!
1356
01:00:32,725 --> 01:00:35,939
I'M SO EXCITED!
1357
01:00:35,941 --> 01:00:36,935
OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO START
PLANNING THE WEDDING!
1358
01:00:36,971 --> 01:00:38,955
SON.
1359
01:00:38,990 --> 01:00:40,890
CONGRATULATIONS.
1360
01:00:40,925 --> 01:00:43,906
OKAY, UM, NEXT ON THE AGENDAIS DINNER IN THREE HOURS.
1361
01:00:43,941 --> 01:00:45,999
SO, UM...
[laughter]
1362
01:00:46,034 --> 01:00:47,769
I'M SORRY.
1363
01:00:47,804 --> 01:00:49,397
EVERYBODY JUST GET CHANGED
AND DO WHATEVER.
1364
01:00:49,399 --> 01:00:52,770
AND WE'LL MEET BACK
IN THE DINNING ROOM AT 7:00.
1365
01:00:52,805 --> 01:00:55,287
THAT'S IT!
1366
01:01:02,965 --> 01:01:06,859
I DON'T--
THAT WAS...SOMETHING.
1367
01:01:06,894 --> 01:01:07,831
WELL, YOU KNOW,
I FIGURED
1368
01:01:07,866 --> 01:01:10,489
WE MAY AS WELL GIVE THEM
ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES.
1369
01:01:10,524 --> 01:01:11,927
AT LEAST FOR A COUPLE
MORE HOURS, RIGHT?
1370
01:01:11,962 --> 01:01:12,858
THANK YOU.
1371
01:01:17,272 --> 01:01:18,490
I ASSUME YOU MADE UP
THE PART ABOUT THE PAINTINGS.
1372
01:01:18,525 --> 01:01:20,701
I SAW YOUR ALBUM.
1373
01:01:20,735 --> 01:01:22,586
IT WAS STICKING OUT
OF YOUR PURSE.
1374
01:01:22,621 --> 01:01:25,219
OH, YOU WERE LOOKING
IN MY BAG?
1375
01:01:25,254 --> 01:01:26,997
WELL, THE KEYS
AREN'T THERE.
1376
01:01:27,033 --> 01:01:31,026
NO, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
RELAX.
1377
01:01:31,062 --> 01:01:33,028
SO DO YOU JUST CARRY
AN ENGAGEMENT RING
1378
01:01:33,063 --> 01:01:33,743
IN YOUR POCKET
ALL THE TIME?
1379
01:01:33,778 --> 01:01:35,122
YEAH.
1380
01:01:35,157 --> 01:01:39,417
RIGHT.
1381
01:01:39,453 --> 01:01:42,342
WELL, LOOK, I JUST
WANT TO SAY I'M SORRY
1382
01:01:42,377 --> 01:01:45,141
ABOUT EVERYTHING.
1383
01:01:45,176 --> 01:01:47,999
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
1384
01:01:48,034 --> 01:01:51,347
IT HASN'T BEEN THAT BAD.
1385
01:01:51,382 --> 01:01:53,332
WELL, IF YOU CAN JUST
HANG IN THERE
1386
01:01:53,367 --> 01:01:54,146
THROUGH CHRISTMAS DINNER,
I PROMISE I'LL TAKE YOU
1387
01:01:54,182 --> 01:01:56,605
WHEREVER YOU WANT
TO GO TOMORROW.
1388
01:01:56,641 --> 01:01:58,134
HEH!
1389
01:02:04,873 --> 01:02:06,832
HEY, MOM, CAN I HELP YOU
WITH ANYTHING?
1390
01:02:06,867 --> 01:02:08,627
OH, YEAH.
1391
01:02:08,662 --> 01:02:09,739
YOU CAN BUNDLE UP
AND TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE.
1392
01:02:09,775 --> 01:02:10,720
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
HONEY.
1393
01:02:16,570 --> 01:02:18,521
HEY.
1394
01:02:18,556 --> 01:02:20,573
WHAT ARE YOU DOINGOUT HERE?
1395
01:02:20,608 --> 01:02:21,985
I'M JUST ENJOYING
A LITTLE DOWN TIME.
1396
01:02:22,021 --> 01:02:25,100
HMM, WELL...
1397
01:02:25,135 --> 01:02:26,628
[cans and glass rattle]
1398
01:02:26,664 --> 01:02:28,747
THAT SOUNDS GOOD
TO ME.
1399
01:02:28,782 --> 01:02:31,605
HEY.
WANT ONE?
1400
01:02:31,639 --> 01:02:35,759
YEAH.
1401
01:02:35,793 --> 01:02:38,185
SO YOU'RE ENGAGED.
1402
01:02:38,220 --> 01:02:41,183
MAN.
1403
01:02:41,219 --> 01:02:41,931
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU,
TRUD.
1404
01:02:41,966 --> 01:02:42,704
THANK YOU.
1405
01:02:46,577 --> 01:02:48,519
YOU KNOW--
1406
01:02:48,554 --> 01:02:49,673
I REALLY HOPE THAT HAPPENS
FOR ME SOMEDAY.
1407
01:02:49,709 --> 01:02:51,062
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IT HAS HAPPENED FOR YOU.
1408
01:02:51,098 --> 01:02:52,283
JEN'S GREAT.
1409
01:02:52,319 --> 01:02:53,953
YEAH, ABOUT THAT.
1410
01:02:53,988 --> 01:02:56,171
UM...
1411
01:02:56,206 --> 01:02:58,521
JEN AND I BROKE UP
LIKE SIX MONTHS AGO.
1412
01:02:58,556 --> 01:03:00,092
SHUT UP.
1413
01:03:00,127 --> 01:03:02,551
AND I'VE STARTED SEEING
SOMEONE ELSE.
1414
01:03:02,585 --> 01:03:03,432
SHUT UP!
1415
01:03:05,635 --> 01:03:07,801
AND HIS NAME IS RYAN.
1416
01:03:07,837 --> 01:03:11,307
OH, MY GOSH.
1417
01:03:11,343 --> 01:03:15,112
WELL, YOU KNOW...
1418
01:03:15,147 --> 01:03:16,807
I THINK MAYBE I KNEW.
1419
01:03:16,842 --> 01:03:19,000
YEAH, I KNEW.
1420
01:03:19,035 --> 01:03:21,226
WHAT?
YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
1421
01:03:21,262 --> 01:03:22,854
COME ON,
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.
1422
01:03:22,889 --> 01:03:25,305
I MEAN, I GUESS
I KIND OF KNEW, BUT--
1423
01:03:25,340 --> 01:03:26,543
WELL, DOES ANYONE ELSE KNOW?
1424
01:03:26,578 --> 01:03:29,775
[exhales]
1425
01:03:29,810 --> 01:03:31,336
I THOUGHT I'D TELL
EVERYONE AT DINNER.
1426
01:03:31,371 --> 01:03:34,685
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
1427
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:36,080
[laughter]
1428
01:03:52,722 --> 01:03:54,648
DOLORES!
1429
01:04:02,227 --> 01:04:04,500
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
1430
01:04:04,535 --> 01:04:06,793
I'M GOING TO BACK
TO THE CITY
1431
01:04:06,829 --> 01:04:09,311
TO GET A DECENT STEAK
AND A COGNAC.
1432
01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:10,997
YOU CAN'T DRIVE.
GIVE ME THE KEYS.
1433
01:04:11,032 --> 01:04:14,029
YOU WANT TO COME ALONG
FOR THE RIDE, ROSEBUD?
1434
01:04:14,064 --> 01:04:17,535
COME ON, LET'S BLOW THIS
RINKY DINK LOG CABIN.
1435
01:04:17,571 --> 01:04:19,911
[engine starts]
DOLORES!
1436
01:04:19,947 --> 01:04:21,813
[screaming]
1437
01:04:26,053 --> 01:04:28,169
[loud crash]
1438
01:04:30,588 --> 01:04:32,323
OH, MY GOD.
1439
01:04:32,358 --> 01:04:35,521
GRAMS?
1440
01:04:35,557 --> 01:04:39,151
OH, MY GOSH.
ARE YOU OKAY, GRANDMA?
1441
01:04:39,187 --> 01:04:41,826
DON'T TOUCH ME
AND DON'T CALL ME THAT.
1442
01:04:41,861 --> 01:04:43,114
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
1443
01:04:43,149 --> 01:04:45,664
YEAH.
1444
01:04:45,666 --> 01:04:47,318
WHAT HAPPENED TO "I'M NOT
TRYING TO ESCAPE ANYMORE?"
1445
01:04:47,353 --> 01:04:50,965
I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE SURE
SHE DIDN'T HURT HERSELF.
1446
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:52,593
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE OKAY.
1447
01:04:55,693 --> 01:04:58,268
[rock music
playing in background]
1448
01:04:58,303 --> 01:05:00,502
I SWEAR TO GOD,
MARY HAD BETTER BE GIVING BIRTH
1449
01:05:00,537 --> 01:05:02,703
TO BABY JESUS
OUTSIDE THE--
1450
01:05:02,738 --> 01:05:05,503
OH, JUST AS GOOD.
POLICE OFFICERS--
1451
01:05:05,538 --> 01:05:06,683
(Steve)COME ON, MRS. CLAUS.
1452
01:05:06,718 --> 01:05:09,167
IT'S TIME FOR STEVIE-WEVIE
TO OPEN ANOTHER PRESENT.
1453
01:05:09,202 --> 01:05:13,146
CUT IT OUT, STEVE!
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
1454
01:05:13,182 --> 01:05:16,286
THE OWNER SAID THAT
YOU WERE HER BEST FRIEND.
1455
01:05:16,322 --> 01:05:17,997
I DON'T KNOW
WHERE THEY WENT.
1456
01:05:18,033 --> 01:05:19,368
SHE JUST TOOK OFF.
1457
01:05:19,403 --> 01:05:21,221
YOU KNOW, WHEN WE CATCH HER,
1458
01:05:21,255 --> 01:05:22,500
YOU'LL BE PUT AWAY TOO
1459
01:05:22,536 --> 01:05:25,259
FOR ACCESSORYTO KIDNAPPING,
1460
01:05:25,294 --> 01:05:26,837
OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE.
1461
01:05:26,872 --> 01:05:29,827
IT'S--
IT'S NOT HER FAULT.
1462
01:05:29,862 --> 01:05:30,849
IT'S MEN.
1463
01:05:35,254 --> 01:05:37,205
THEY DRIVE WOMEN CRAZY.
1464
01:05:51,189 --> 01:05:54,160
OH, I'M SORRY.
IT'S OKAY.
1465
01:05:54,196 --> 01:05:56,943
I, UM, JUST...
1466
01:05:56,978 --> 01:05:59,893
NEEDED THE, UH, THE...
1467
01:05:59,929 --> 01:06:02,044
TOOTHPASTE.
1468
01:06:03,690 --> 01:06:04,952
UH...
1469
01:06:07,862 --> 01:06:09,422
HERE YOU GO.
1470
01:06:09,457 --> 01:06:11,432
DO YOU--DO YOU NEED
TO TAKE A SHOWER?
1471
01:06:11,467 --> 01:06:14,041
NO, I'LL WAIT TILL
YOU'RE DRY.
1472
01:06:14,076 --> 01:06:16,416
DRESSED.
DONE.
1473
01:06:18,528 --> 01:06:20,944
WHEW!
OKAY.
1474
01:06:23,438 --> 01:06:25,805
WELL, I SHOULD
PROBABLY GO NOW.
1475
01:06:28,140 --> 01:06:29,542
PROBABLY.
1476
01:06:38,317 --> 01:06:39,345
[exhales]
1477
01:06:42,554 --> 01:06:44,455
[exhales]
1478
01:06:57,492 --> 01:06:58,952
[knock on door]
1479
01:07:03,531 --> 01:07:05,689
I DIDN'T, UH, MEAN
TO SCARE YOU OFF BACK THERE.
1480
01:07:05,724 --> 01:07:07,717
YOU DIDN'T SCARE ME OFF.
1481
01:07:07,751 --> 01:07:10,084
YOU LOOK GREAT.
1482
01:07:12,752 --> 01:07:14,470
SO DO YOU.
1483
01:07:14,505 --> 01:07:16,397
COME ON, I WANT
TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
1484
01:07:21,259 --> 01:07:22,918
I'M NOT GIVING YOU
A REMATCH RIGHT NOW.
1485
01:07:22,954 --> 01:07:25,619
HOLD ON
JUST ONE SECOND.
1486
01:07:25,654 --> 01:07:26,657
HUH?
1487
01:07:29,010 --> 01:07:30,612
OKAY, PUT THESE ON, PLEASE.
1488
01:07:30,646 --> 01:07:32,114
IT'S ALMOST DINNERTIME,
1489
01:07:32,150 --> 01:07:33,136
AND I'M IN A DRESS,
YOU MORON.
1490
01:07:33,172 --> 01:07:35,030
PLEASE SHUT UP.
SHUT UP?
1491
01:07:35,066 --> 01:07:36,626
JUST PUT THESE ON.
1492
01:07:36,661 --> 01:07:37,873
FINE.
1493
01:07:48,532 --> 01:07:50,416
WHOA.
1494
01:08:00,846 --> 01:08:03,593
OH, MY GOSH.
1495
01:08:03,628 --> 01:08:05,911
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DID ALL THIS.
1496
01:08:09,251 --> 01:08:12,516
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
THANK YOU.
1497
01:08:12,551 --> 01:08:15,830
YOU'RE WELCOME.
1498
01:08:15,865 --> 01:08:17,417
BUT YOU OWE ME
SOMETHING IN RETURN.
1499
01:08:17,451 --> 01:08:18,613
WHAT?
1500
01:08:18,647 --> 01:08:20,431
A SHOW.
1501
01:08:20,467 --> 01:08:22,750
NO WAY.
COME ON.
1502
01:08:22,786 --> 01:08:24,179
I WANT TO SEE
THIS INFAMOUS ROUTINE.
1503
01:08:24,214 --> 01:08:26,554
REALLY?
1504
01:08:26,590 --> 01:08:27,718
OKAY, BUT IF YOU LAUGH...
1505
01:08:30,727 --> 01:08:33,109
[heartfelt music]
1506
01:08:33,144 --> 01:08:40,843
♪ ♪
1507
01:09:11,492 --> 01:09:13,392
[O Tannenbaum
playing in background]
1508
01:09:13,428 --> 01:09:15,088
THANK YOU.
1509
01:09:15,123 --> 01:09:17,206
[family chattering]
1510
01:09:17,241 --> 01:09:20,205
WARM BREAD.
1511
01:09:20,241 --> 01:09:21,393
YOUR TIE'S CROOKED.
1512
01:09:21,429 --> 01:09:22,556
YOU TIED IT.
1513
01:09:22,591 --> 01:09:23,628
IT'S STILL CROOKED.
1514
01:09:26,862 --> 01:09:28,654
OH!
1515
01:09:33,474 --> 01:09:35,632
MOM?
HMM?
1516
01:09:35,666 --> 01:09:36,339
AREN'T YOU GONNA MAKE
YOUR ANNUAL TOAST?
1517
01:09:39,489 --> 01:09:40,742
OH, I'M HUNGRY.
LET'S JUST EAT.
1518
01:09:45,055 --> 01:09:46,930
UM, EXCUSE ME.
1519
01:09:46,966 --> 01:09:49,291
I, UH,
I HAVE SOMETHING
1520
01:09:49,325 --> 01:09:50,561
I'D LIKE TO SHARE
WITH EVERYONE.
1521
01:09:50,596 --> 01:09:53,476
ACTUALLY...
1522
01:09:53,511 --> 01:09:55,562
I HAVE SOMETHING
I'D LIKE TO SAY FIRST.
1523
01:09:55,597 --> 01:09:57,232
IT'S ABOUT SCHOOL.
1524
01:09:57,267 --> 01:09:58,835
OH.
1525
01:09:58,870 --> 01:10:00,389
I'M NOT GOING
TO LAW SCHOOL.
1526
01:10:02,983 --> 01:10:03,978
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
1527
01:10:04,013 --> 01:10:07,392
IT'S JUST NOT FOR ME.
1528
01:10:07,427 --> 01:10:08,904
I DROPPED OUT
LAST SEMESTER.
1529
01:10:08,939 --> 01:10:10,565
LAST SEMESTER?
1530
01:10:10,601 --> 01:10:13,298
WELL, WHAT HAVEYOU BEEN DOING
1531
01:10:13,334 --> 01:10:14,952
WITH ALL THE TUITION
THAT I'VE BEEN SENDING?
1532
01:10:14,987 --> 01:10:17,120
I USED IT
AS A DOWN PAYMENT.
1533
01:10:17,155 --> 01:10:19,654
DOWN PAYMENT.
ON WHAT?
1534
01:10:19,689 --> 01:10:21,772
ON A PILATES STUDIO
IN CALIFORNIA.
1535
01:10:21,807 --> 01:10:23,642
PILATES?
1536
01:10:23,676 --> 01:10:25,569
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
1537
01:10:25,604 --> 01:10:26,724
SOMEBODY TRANSLATE THAT.
1538
01:10:26,759 --> 01:10:31,393
DAD, IT'S GREAT.
1539
01:10:31,429 --> 01:10:32,373
IT'S A TYPE OF EXERCISE
MIXING BALLET TECHNIQUES
1540
01:10:32,408 --> 01:10:34,707
WITH YOGA, USED TO STRETCHAND LENGTHEN THE MUSCLES.
1541
01:10:34,742 --> 01:10:38,006
MOVING TO THE LAND
OF FRUITS AND NUTS.
1542
01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:38,911
GONNA LAY AROUND ALL DAY
AND STRETCH.
1543
01:10:38,946 --> 01:10:41,536
[Katherine laughing]
1544
01:10:41,571 --> 01:10:44,752
I THINK IT'S VERY CREATIVE.
1545
01:10:44,787 --> 01:10:45,880
KUDOS, KATIE.
1546
01:10:45,916 --> 01:10:48,099
THANKS, MOM.
1547
01:10:48,134 --> 01:10:50,225
WHAT--WHAT AREYOU TALKING ABOUT?
1548
01:10:50,261 --> 01:10:52,544
OUR DAUGHTER'S JUST MADE
A FOOL OUT OF US.
1549
01:10:52,579 --> 01:10:55,269
YEAH, YOU DID PUT ONE OVER
ON US, DIDN'T YOU?
1550
01:10:55,304 --> 01:10:57,113
[Richard laughing
nervously]
1551
01:10:57,148 --> 01:10:58,950
NO, YOU'RE NOT DROPPING
OUT OF SCHOOL.
1552
01:10:58,985 --> 01:11:00,693
NO, THAT'S NOT
WHAT'S HAPPENING.
1553
01:11:00,728 --> 01:11:01,774
I'M GONNA TELL YOUWHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
1554
01:11:01,809 --> 01:11:02,845
YOU'RE GONNA GETTHE MONEY BACK.
1555
01:11:02,880 --> 01:11:05,279
AND YOU'RE GONNA RE-ENROLL.
1556
01:11:05,314 --> 01:11:07,265
OH, LIGHTEN UP, DICK.
1557
01:11:16,912 --> 01:11:18,970
UM, AHEM.
1558
01:11:19,005 --> 01:11:22,509
EVERYONE, I, UH, I WANT
TO SAY SOMETHING TOO.
1559
01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:26,140
I'M GAY.
1560
01:11:26,175 --> 01:11:27,635
[spitting]
1561
01:11:27,670 --> 01:11:29,512
[laughter]
1562
01:11:29,548 --> 01:11:30,526
OH, HONEY, I KNOW!
1563
01:11:45,532 --> 01:11:47,648
FOR GOD'S SAKE, KATHERINE,
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
1564
01:11:47,683 --> 01:11:49,642
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
1565
01:11:49,677 --> 01:11:50,506
HUH?
LET ME THINK.
1566
01:11:50,541 --> 01:11:54,227
UM, I HATE THE WAY YOU MOAN
WHEN YOU CHEW YOUR FOOD.
1567
01:11:54,262 --> 01:11:55,847
WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
1568
01:11:55,882 --> 01:11:58,348
[imitating Richard moaning]
1569
01:11:58,383 --> 01:11:59,661
IT'S DISGUSTING!
1570
01:11:59,696 --> 01:12:00,740
IT MAKES ME WANT
TO THROW UP.
1571
01:12:00,776 --> 01:12:03,133
AND ALSO I HATE
THAT WE NEVER
1572
01:12:03,169 --> 01:12:05,069
TALK ABOUT
ANYTHING IMPORTANT!
1573
01:12:05,104 --> 01:12:09,754
MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE WE ALL
LIVE IN YOUR WORLD, KATHERINE.
1574
01:12:09,790 --> 01:12:11,648
A WORLD WHERE NOBODY CAN SAYANYTHING HONEST
1575
01:12:11,684 --> 01:12:14,090
BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE
UPSETTING!
1576
01:12:14,126 --> 01:12:17,174
YOU ARE THE PUPPET MASTER
AND I AM YOUR LITTLE CLOWN!
1577
01:12:17,209 --> 01:12:18,709
BOO!
1578
01:12:18,745 --> 01:12:21,160
STOP IT!
GOD, YOU TWO!
1579
01:12:21,196 --> 01:12:22,689
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
1580
01:12:22,724 --> 01:12:24,824
YOU THINK I'M CONTROLLING?
1581
01:12:24,826 --> 01:12:27,000
YOU ARE THE ASS WHO ISFORCING YOUR CHILDREN
1582
01:12:27,035 --> 01:12:28,530
TO BECOME MINI VERSIONS
OF YOURSELF!
1583
01:12:28,565 --> 01:12:29,651
THIS ISN'T MY WORLD.
1584
01:12:29,686 --> 01:12:31,420
BECAUSE IF THIS WAS MY WORLD,
1585
01:12:31,455 --> 01:12:33,107
I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PICTURE
CLINT EASTWOOD
1586
01:12:33,142 --> 01:12:35,201
JUST TO GET THROUGH
OUR ANNUAL BIRTHDAY SEX!
1587
01:12:35,236 --> 01:12:36,820
OH!
1588
01:12:52,034 --> 01:12:53,270
AREN'T YOU GLAD
YOU'RE GAY?
1589
01:12:55,282 --> 01:12:57,323
EVERYBODY FREEZE!
1590
01:12:57,359 --> 01:12:59,433
[family shouting]
1591
01:12:59,469 --> 01:13:01,012
FREEZE!
CALM DOWN, EVERYBODY.
1592
01:13:01,047 --> 01:13:02,931
JUST RELAX.
1593
01:13:02,966 --> 01:13:03,746
WAIT.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
1594
01:13:03,780 --> 01:13:06,612
REASON TO BELIEVE THAT WOMAN
IS GUILTY OF KIDNAPPING.
1595
01:13:06,647 --> 01:13:07,816
THAT CAN'T BE.
THAT'S ABSURD.
1596
01:13:07,851 --> 01:13:09,852
KIDNAPPING?WHO?
1597
01:13:09,887 --> 01:13:11,314
DAVID MARTIN.
1598
01:13:11,348 --> 01:13:16,239
WHO'S DAVID MARTIN?
1599
01:13:16,275 --> 01:13:19,455
NO, THAT'S
HER BOYFRIEND, NICK.
1600
01:13:19,490 --> 01:13:22,720
NO, MOM.
IT'S NOT.
1601
01:13:26,210 --> 01:13:28,120
I'M NOT HER BOYFRIEND.
1602
01:13:31,437 --> 01:13:33,453
(Jake)THIS IS GETTING WEIRD.
1603
01:13:33,489 --> 01:13:36,552
I DON'T KNOW
WHO BROUGHT HOME THE BACON,
1604
01:13:36,588 --> 01:13:37,848
BUT I'M GONNA
FRY IT UP IN A PAN!
1605
01:13:37,884 --> 01:13:40,813
MOTHER, NO!
1606
01:13:40,848 --> 01:13:42,126
SOMEBODY HAS TO PROTECT
THIS FAMILY,
1607
01:13:42,161 --> 01:13:43,364
AND IT LOOKS AS THOUGH
IT'S GOT TO BE ME!
1608
01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:44,935
MA'AM, PUT THE GUN DOWN.
1609
01:13:44,969 --> 01:13:46,571
SHE HAVING A CIVIL WAR
FLASHBACK?
1610
01:13:46,606 --> 01:13:48,099
SHE'S JUST HAD A LITTLE
TOO MUCH EGGNOG.
1611
01:13:48,134 --> 01:13:50,285
UM, SHE'S AN ACTRESS.
1612
01:13:50,319 --> 01:13:52,095
AND THE GUN IS PROBABLY
JUST A PROP.
1613
01:13:52,130 --> 01:13:54,529
YOU TAKE THE BIG ONE.
1614
01:13:54,564 --> 01:13:55,991
DOLORES.
1615
01:13:58,113 --> 01:14:00,801
OH.
1616
01:14:00,836 --> 01:14:02,472
OH...
1617
01:14:05,032 --> 01:14:08,453
I-I WAS ON BROADWAY ONCE.
1618
01:14:10,872 --> 01:14:13,562
I KNOW.
[sobbing]
1619
01:14:18,042 --> 01:14:20,665
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1620
01:14:29,731 --> 01:14:32,287
[blues-rock music
playing]
1621
01:14:32,322 --> 01:14:36,076
♪ ♪
1622
01:14:36,112 --> 01:14:39,365
♪ YOU WERE THE PRESENT ♪
1623
01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:43,502
♪ UNDER MY TREE... ♪
1624
01:14:43,537 --> 01:14:45,555
MOM--
1625
01:14:45,591 --> 01:14:48,005
KIDNAPPING?
1626
01:14:48,041 --> 01:14:49,576
KIDNAPPING?!
1627
01:14:49,611 --> 01:14:50,830
MOM, LOOK AT ME.
1628
01:14:50,865 --> 01:14:53,737
WHERE DID I GO WRONG?
1629
01:14:53,772 --> 01:14:55,216
WAS I NOT GOOD MOTHER?
1630
01:14:55,251 --> 01:14:56,437
YEAH, OF COURSE YOU WERE.
1631
01:14:56,472 --> 01:14:57,684
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
1632
01:14:57,719 --> 01:14:59,379
NO, WE WON'T TALK
ABOUT IT.
1633
01:14:59,414 --> 01:15:00,949
DAD--
1634
01:15:00,984 --> 01:15:02,992
NOT NOW, TRUDIE.
1635
01:15:07,131 --> 01:15:09,515
POOR SCHMUCK DIDN'T
PRESS CHARGES.
1636
01:15:09,549 --> 01:15:12,571
[door buzzer]
1637
01:15:12,607 --> 01:15:13,983
YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
1638
01:15:14,018 --> 01:15:14,831
(Dolores)THANK GOD.
1639
01:15:21,512 --> 01:15:22,557
(Katie)
BYE.
1640
01:15:28,723 --> 01:15:31,903
UH, NOT YOU, GRAMBO.
1641
01:15:31,937 --> 01:15:34,927
WHY, OFFICER!
1642
01:15:34,962 --> 01:15:37,851
WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?
1643
01:15:37,886 --> 01:15:40,168
(female officer)ONE CHANGE PURSE.
1644
01:15:40,204 --> 01:15:42,130
ONE CAN OPENER/KEYCHAIN.
1645
01:15:42,165 --> 01:15:44,730
COMES IN HANDIER
THAN YOU THINK.
1646
01:15:44,765 --> 01:15:49,108
ONE--HOLY CRAP!
LOOK AT THAT ROCK.
1647
01:15:49,143 --> 01:15:50,886
GIRL, YOU HOLD ON
TO THAT MAN.
1648
01:15:54,368 --> 01:15:57,033
YEAH.
1649
01:15:57,068 --> 01:16:00,681
♪ ONE DAY I'LL WALK IN ♪
1650
01:16:00,715 --> 01:16:04,444
♪ HAND IN HAND ♪
1651
01:16:04,479 --> 01:16:08,689
♪ IN THE SUN AND ♪
1652
01:16:08,724 --> 01:16:14,521
♪ YOU AND I ARE TALKING ♪
1653
01:16:14,556 --> 01:16:17,404
♪ REALIZE ♪
1654
01:16:17,439 --> 01:16:23,625
♪ WE'VE BEGUN... ♪
1655
01:16:23,661 --> 01:16:25,038
HI.
1656
01:16:25,073 --> 01:16:26,400
HEY.
1657
01:16:26,435 --> 01:16:30,978
JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS
FOR NOT PRESSING CHARGES.
1658
01:16:31,013 --> 01:16:35,240
I CAN'T SAY I EVER IMAGINED
SAYING THAT IN A SENTENCE.
1659
01:16:35,275 --> 01:16:38,139
HEH.
IS--IS EVERYONE OKAY?
1660
01:16:38,175 --> 01:16:39,859
YEAH, THEY'RE FINE.
1661
01:16:39,894 --> 01:16:42,509
THEY'RE NOT TOO HAPPY
WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
1662
01:16:42,544 --> 01:16:46,072
I REALLY DID IT THIS TIME.
1663
01:16:46,107 --> 01:16:47,203
I WANTED TO GIVE THIS
BACK TO YOU.
1664
01:16:47,238 --> 01:16:49,927
THANKS.
1665
01:16:49,962 --> 01:16:52,768
LISTEN...
1666
01:16:52,804 --> 01:16:56,191
THIS WHOLE SITUATION
IS SORT OF CONFUSING.
1667
01:16:56,226 --> 01:16:57,463
BUT I WANTED TO SAY--
1668
01:16:57,497 --> 01:16:59,547
DAVID, LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE, HONEY.
1669
01:16:59,583 --> 01:17:01,641
UH, GIVE ME
ONE MINUTE, OKAY?
1670
01:17:01,676 --> 01:17:03,635
WHO'S THIS?
1671
01:17:03,670 --> 01:17:06,966
IS THIS HER?
1672
01:17:07,001 --> 01:17:08,295
YOU HAVE SOME NERVE.
1673
01:17:08,330 --> 01:17:10,181
LOOK, I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE
1674
01:17:10,217 --> 01:17:11,768
AGAIN TO BOTH OF YOU--
SAVE IT.
1675
01:17:11,803 --> 01:17:13,338
YOU AND YOUR BAND
OF HOOLIGANS
1676
01:17:13,373 --> 01:17:14,858
WOULD STILL BE IN JAIL
IF IT WERE UP TO ME.
1677
01:17:14,894 --> 01:17:16,952
LET'S GO.
1678
01:17:20,551 --> 01:17:21,978
I, UH--
1679
01:17:22,013 --> 01:17:23,059
DAVID.
1680
01:17:28,252 --> 01:17:29,455
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
1681
01:17:29,490 --> 01:17:32,031
YEAH, YOU TOO.
1682
01:17:40,929 --> 01:17:44,998
♪ I AM NOT CRAZY ♪
1683
01:17:45,034 --> 01:17:47,898
♪ AND I ♪
1684
01:17:47,933 --> 01:17:51,179
♪ I KNOW
WHAT WE HAVE KNOWN... ♪
1685
01:17:56,223 --> 01:17:59,445
SURE YOU DON'T WANT
YOUR OLD JOB BACK?
1686
01:17:59,480 --> 01:18:01,356
YOU WANT LUNCH?
1687
01:18:01,391 --> 01:18:02,427
SURE.
1688
01:18:02,462 --> 01:18:05,551
HERE.
1689
01:18:05,586 --> 01:18:06,689
WHAT ABOUT TAJ?
1690
01:18:06,724 --> 01:18:08,526
OH, PLEASE.
1691
01:18:08,561 --> 01:18:10,478
YOU KNOW, HE'S A SOFTY
UNDER ALL THAT BLUSTER.
1692
01:18:10,513 --> 01:18:12,089
BESIDES, WE'VE REACHED
A NEW STAGE
1693
01:18:12,124 --> 01:18:13,219
IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.
1694
01:18:13,254 --> 01:18:14,449
OH, WHAT'S THAT?
PARTNERS.
1695
01:18:14,484 --> 01:18:15,761
THAT'S GREAT!
1696
01:18:15,796 --> 01:18:18,486
THANK YOU, YEAH.
1697
01:18:18,522 --> 01:18:20,721
SO HOW'S THE REAL JOB
SEARCH GOING?
1698
01:18:20,757 --> 01:18:22,581
NOT SO GREAT.
1699
01:18:22,617 --> 01:18:23,903
APPARENTLY I HAVE
NO REAL SKILLS.
1700
01:18:23,938 --> 01:18:25,814
MM-HMM.
1701
01:18:25,849 --> 01:18:28,032
I DON'T KNOW.
MY PARENTS ARE RIGHT.
1702
01:18:28,067 --> 01:18:30,390
I HAVE TO BE REALISTIC.
1703
01:18:30,426 --> 01:18:31,720
I CAN'T JUST WISH
FOR SOMETHING
1704
01:18:31,756 --> 01:18:33,298
THAT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.
1705
01:18:33,333 --> 01:18:35,682
THERE IS NO PERFECT JOB,
PERFECT FAMILY...
1706
01:18:35,717 --> 01:18:37,237
PERFECT GUY.
1707
01:18:37,272 --> 01:18:38,208
SO YOU HAVEN'T
HEARD FROM HIM THEN?
1708
01:18:38,244 --> 01:18:40,269
NO.
1709
01:18:40,304 --> 01:18:42,079
SEE, THIS IS WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
1710
01:18:42,115 --> 01:18:43,059
I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY
THOUGHT I HAD FEELINGS
1711
01:18:43,095 --> 01:18:45,261
FOR SOME GUY I KIDNAPPED.
1712
01:18:45,296 --> 01:18:46,508
I MEAN, WHAT DID I THINK
WAS GONNA HAPPEN?
1713
01:18:52,973 --> 01:18:54,233
[gasps]
1714
01:19:08,907 --> 01:19:10,143
I LIKE
THE NUPTIAL SCRIPT.
1715
01:19:10,178 --> 01:19:12,992
ALL RIGHT, DONE.
1716
01:19:13,027 --> 01:19:16,083
WHERE IS MARIA
WITH THE NEXT DRESS?
1717
01:19:16,118 --> 01:19:18,234
MARIA, WE HAVE
THREE MORE DRESSES TO GO!
1718
01:19:18,269 --> 01:19:19,447
WHERE ARE YOU?
1719
01:19:32,210 --> 01:19:33,196
DO YOU LIKETHAT FONT?
1720
01:19:34,510 --> 01:19:37,035
DAVID!
1721
01:19:37,070 --> 01:19:38,530
THE FONT.
1722
01:19:38,564 --> 01:19:40,814
UH, AHEM.
1723
01:19:40,849 --> 01:19:42,359
I'M SORRY.
1724
01:19:42,395 --> 01:19:44,253
I-I NEED SOME AIR.
1725
01:19:44,289 --> 01:19:45,948
OH.
1726
01:19:56,285 --> 01:19:58,202
HEY.
1727
01:19:58,237 --> 01:20:00,594
HEY.
1728
01:20:00,629 --> 01:20:02,398
IT CAN BE A BIT
OVERWHELMING IN THERE.
1729
01:20:02,433 --> 01:20:03,718
YOU DON'T SAY.
1730
01:20:03,753 --> 01:20:05,064
(Jessica)
YOU ALL RIGHT?
1731
01:20:05,099 --> 01:20:07,790
YEAH.
YEAH, I'M FINE.
1732
01:20:07,824 --> 01:20:09,625
WELL, WE NEED YOU INSIDE.
1733
01:20:09,660 --> 01:20:11,037
OKAY.
1734
01:20:15,475 --> 01:20:18,397
UH, JESS, UM...
1735
01:20:18,433 --> 01:20:20,274
DO YOU, UH...
1736
01:20:20,310 --> 01:20:22,078
EVER HAVE
ANY DOUBTS ABOUT US?
1737
01:20:22,113 --> 01:20:24,354
WHAT?
1738
01:20:24,389 --> 01:20:27,188
WELL, IT'S JUST THAT
1739
01:20:27,223 --> 01:20:29,139
YOU COULD BE
WITH ANY NUMBER OF GUYS.
1740
01:20:29,174 --> 01:20:31,440
WHY ME?
1741
01:20:31,475 --> 01:20:33,975
BECAUSE WE MAKE SENSE.
1742
01:20:34,010 --> 01:20:37,389
AND WE'RE GONNA LEAD A LIFE
THAT MOST PEOPLE DREAM OF.
1743
01:20:37,424 --> 01:20:38,985
ALL RIGHT, YOU AND I
1744
01:20:39,019 --> 01:20:40,537
ARE GONNA HAVE
A FAIRY TALE WEDDING
1745
01:20:40,572 --> 01:20:42,481
AND A FAIRY TALE LIFE.
1746
01:20:47,950 --> 01:20:49,917
(Mrs. Barber)MARIA!
1747
01:20:49,952 --> 01:20:52,119
I HATE MY LIFE.
1748
01:21:16,686 --> 01:21:20,065
[cell phone rings]
1749
01:21:20,100 --> 01:21:21,586
HELLO.
1750
01:21:21,621 --> 01:21:22,939
TRUD, HEY, IT'S ME.
1751
01:21:22,974 --> 01:21:24,385
HEY.
1752
01:21:24,420 --> 01:21:25,564
HOW'S IT GOING?
1753
01:21:25,599 --> 01:21:26,794
OH, I'VE BEEN BETTER.
1754
01:21:26,829 --> 01:21:28,812
DID YOU TALK
TO MOM AND DAD YET?
1755
01:21:28,848 --> 01:21:31,355
NO, I'VE BEEN
AVOIDING THEM.
1756
01:21:31,389 --> 01:21:33,140
TRUD, YOU SHOULD CALL THEM.
1757
01:21:33,176 --> 01:21:35,467
OH, MY GOD, JAKE.
1758
01:21:35,502 --> 01:21:37,518
I'M JUST SAYING,
YOU KNOW,
1759
01:21:37,554 --> 01:21:38,898
BE THE BIGGER PERSON--
1760
01:21:38,934 --> 01:21:40,701
NO, NO, NO.
1761
01:21:40,736 --> 01:21:42,112
I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO A SHOW
AT GALLERY 717.
1762
01:21:42,148 --> 01:21:43,243
WOW, THAT'S GREAT.
1763
01:21:43,278 --> 01:21:44,697
IT'S A NEW ARTIST EXHIBIT.
1764
01:21:44,732 --> 01:21:45,669
THEY WANT A PIECE FROM ME.
1765
01:21:45,704 --> 01:21:47,737
TRUD, THAT'S FANTASTIC.
1766
01:21:47,772 --> 01:21:48,868
WHEN IS IT?
1767
01:21:48,903 --> 01:21:51,193
A WEEK FROM SATURDAY.
WILL YOU COME WITH ME, PLEASE?
1768
01:21:51,228 --> 01:21:53,079
YES, OF COURSE I WILL.
1769
01:21:53,114 --> 01:21:55,505
ARE YOU GONNA TELLMOM AND DAD?
1770
01:21:55,539 --> 01:21:57,739
NO, NO, I DON'T WANT
TO FIGHT WITH THEM.
1771
01:21:57,775 --> 01:21:59,202
I JUST WANT THIS TO BE
MY NIGHT, YOU KNOW?
1772
01:22:16,409 --> 01:22:17,478
[exhales]
1773
01:22:23,712 --> 01:22:25,903
(Jake)
TRUD?
1774
01:22:25,938 --> 01:22:27,938
I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE.
1775
01:22:27,973 --> 01:22:29,242
I WOULDN'T MISS IT
FOR THE WORLD.
1776
01:22:29,277 --> 01:22:30,903
SO, UM, THIS IS RYAN.
1777
01:22:30,939 --> 01:22:33,096
HI.
1778
01:22:33,132 --> 01:22:35,048
JAKE, YOU DIDN'T DO
HER JUSTICE.
1779
01:22:35,084 --> 01:22:36,993
IT'S SO NICE
TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
1780
01:22:37,028 --> 01:22:37,791
SO LISTEN,
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.
1781
01:22:37,826 --> 01:22:40,109
I DON'T KNOW WHAT PEOPLE
ARE SAYING ABOUT THE PIECE,
1782
01:22:40,143 --> 01:22:40,831
SO GO OVER
AND EAVESDROP FOR ME.
1783
01:22:40,866 --> 01:22:43,507
OKAY, OKAY.
1784
01:22:43,541 --> 01:22:45,633
BUT LISTEN, UM...
THERE IS ONE OTHER THING.
1785
01:22:45,668 --> 01:22:46,937
WHAT?
1786
01:22:46,972 --> 01:22:48,690
NOW DON'T FREAK OUT,
1787
01:22:48,726 --> 01:22:50,875
BUT I, UH, I BROUGHT
A FEW MORE PEOPLE WITH ME.
1788
01:22:57,082 --> 01:23:01,799
I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T
WANT THEM HERE.
1789
01:23:01,834 --> 01:23:03,752
I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO DO THIS TONIGHT, OKAY?
1790
01:23:03,787 --> 01:23:04,731
I WON'T DO THIS.
1791
01:23:04,767 --> 01:23:06,568
JUST FOR ONE NIGHT
1792
01:23:06,604 --> 01:23:07,930
I DON'T WANT TO FEEL
LIKE THE BLACK SHEEP,
1793
01:23:07,965 --> 01:23:08,828
THE WEIRD ONE,
THE WRONG ONE, OKAY?
1794
01:23:08,863 --> 01:23:11,262
OKAY.
WE HEAR YOU.
1795
01:23:11,297 --> 01:23:12,898
WHAT?
1796
01:23:12,933 --> 01:23:15,108
YOUR FATHER AND I
HAVE FOUND
1797
01:23:15,144 --> 01:23:17,302
THAT KEEPING OPEN LINES
OF HONEST COMMUNICATION
1798
01:23:17,304 --> 01:23:18,489
IS THE ONLY WAY TO RESTORE
A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.
1799
01:23:18,524 --> 01:23:20,615
WHAT?
1800
01:23:20,651 --> 01:23:21,405
THEY'VE BEEN IN THERAPY.
1801
01:23:24,107 --> 01:23:26,323
IT REALLY IS WORKING.
1802
01:23:26,359 --> 01:23:29,646
SO...WHAT ELSE, HONEY?
JUST LET IT OUT.
1803
01:23:29,681 --> 01:23:31,682
I'M TIRED OF TRYING
1804
01:23:31,718 --> 01:23:33,966
TO LIVE UP TO YOUR IDEALS,
YOU KNOW?
1805
01:23:34,001 --> 01:23:35,055
AND I WON'T LIVE MY LIFE
TO PLEASE YOU.
1806
01:23:35,090 --> 01:23:37,099
I MEAN, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM.
1807
01:23:37,134 --> 01:23:38,320
MM-HMM.
1808
01:23:38,355 --> 01:23:39,624
I'M A SLOB.
1809
01:23:39,659 --> 01:23:41,984
I MEAN, SOMETIMES IF I LEAVE
A DISH IN THE SINK TOO LONG
1810
01:23:42,018 --> 01:23:43,229
I JUST THROW IT AWAY
1811
01:23:43,264 --> 01:23:44,492
INSTEAD OF WASHING IT.
1812
01:23:44,527 --> 01:23:45,472
AND, MOM, I HATE PINK.
I HATE IT.
1813
01:23:45,507 --> 01:23:46,793
AND I DON'T WANT A JOB
1814
01:23:46,828 --> 01:23:48,463
IN COMPUTER SALES, DAD.
1815
01:23:48,499 --> 01:23:50,083
YOU KNOW, I'M AN ARTIST.
THAT'S WHO I AM.
1816
01:23:50,118 --> 01:23:52,326
AND I LOVE YOU GUYS,
1817
01:23:52,362 --> 01:23:53,439
BUT IF YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE
BETWEEN ME AND YOU,
1818
01:23:53,474 --> 01:23:54,586
I CHOOSE ME.
1819
01:23:54,621 --> 01:23:57,659
OKAY!
1820
01:23:57,694 --> 01:23:59,928
OKAY?
1821
01:23:59,963 --> 01:24:02,743
YES, OKAY.
1822
01:24:02,779 --> 01:24:04,389
WE HEAR YOU.
1823
01:24:04,424 --> 01:24:05,353
OKAY.
1824
01:24:08,229 --> 01:24:11,426
YOU KNOW, WE WORRY
ABOUT YOU, KIDDO.
1825
01:24:11,461 --> 01:24:12,323
WE DON'T WANT YOU
TO GET HURT.
1826
01:24:12,358 --> 01:24:13,809
WE WANT YOU
TO BE SAFE.
1827
01:24:13,844 --> 01:24:14,832
I MEAN, IF I COULD,
I'D HAVE YOU LIVE
1828
01:24:14,867 --> 01:24:15,571
INSIDE OF
A PLASTIC BUBBLE.
1829
01:24:15,606 --> 01:24:17,756
BUT I WAS TOLD THAT'SA LITTLE TOO IMPRACTICAL.
1830
01:24:17,791 --> 01:24:19,060
AND WE NEVER MEANT
TO MAKE YOU FEEL
1831
01:24:19,095 --> 01:24:22,474
WEIRD OR WRONG.
1832
01:24:22,510 --> 01:24:23,463
WE LOVE YOU.
1833
01:24:25,417 --> 01:24:29,070
AND WHATEVER YOU WANT,
THAT'S WHAT WE WANT FOR YOU.
1834
01:24:36,259 --> 01:24:37,420
THANKS, DAD.
1835
01:24:37,455 --> 01:24:39,039
OH, COME HERE.
1836
01:24:41,625 --> 01:24:42,719
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
1837
01:24:42,755 --> 01:24:43,360
I LOVE YOU TOO, MOM.
1838
01:24:46,568 --> 01:24:48,053
LITTLE SIS.
1839
01:24:55,532 --> 01:24:57,906
I LOVE YOUR PAINTINGS.
I LOVE--
1840
01:24:57,941 --> 01:25:00,573
THE COMPOSITIONS
ARE AMAZING.
1841
01:25:00,608 --> 01:25:04,611
[patrons chattering]
1842
01:25:04,645 --> 01:25:06,994
I'LL BE BACK,
I'LL BE BACK.
1843
01:25:07,030 --> 01:25:07,701
IT'S GREAT
TO MEET YOU.
1844
01:25:11,980 --> 01:25:14,172
YOU OKAY, SWEETHEART?
1845
01:25:14,207 --> 01:25:15,959
SOMEONE BOUGHT IT.
1846
01:25:15,994 --> 01:25:20,196
I KNOW.
IT'S WONDERFUL.
1847
01:25:20,230 --> 01:25:22,188
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
1848
01:25:22,224 --> 01:25:24,557
JUST FEELS DIFFERENT
THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
1849
01:25:24,592 --> 01:25:26,450
OH, HOW?
1850
01:25:26,486 --> 01:25:28,054
I DON'T KNOW,
IT'S JUST--
1851
01:25:28,089 --> 01:25:30,272
NICK?
1852
01:25:30,308 --> 01:25:33,645
NO, NOT NICK.
WELL, MAYBE.
1853
01:25:33,680 --> 01:25:34,734
WELL, NO, I MEAN,
IT'S NOT NICK, IT'S DAVID.
1854
01:25:34,769 --> 01:25:37,268
IT'S STUPID IS WHAT IT IS.
1855
01:25:37,302 --> 01:25:38,314
IT IS NOT STUPID.
1856
01:25:43,110 --> 01:25:45,243
IF THERE'S
ONE THING I KNOW,
1857
01:25:45,278 --> 01:25:47,079
IT'S THE CORROSIVE
NATURE OF SILENCE
1858
01:25:47,114 --> 01:25:48,857
LEADS TO REGRET.
1859
01:25:48,892 --> 01:25:51,349
AND IT'LL EAT AWAY
AT YOU BIT BY BIT.
1860
01:25:51,385 --> 01:25:53,094
LOOK AT YOUR DAD AND ME.
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.
1861
01:25:53,128 --> 01:25:57,596
ACTUALLY, IT IS.
1862
01:25:57,631 --> 01:25:59,083
HE GOT MARRIED TODAY.
1863
01:26:02,308 --> 01:26:03,486
CHEERS.
1864
01:26:23,061 --> 01:26:24,928
HEY, HEY!
1865
01:26:24,964 --> 01:26:26,548
[struggling]
1866
01:26:26,583 --> 01:26:28,849
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
I HAVE A BLACK BELT,
1867
01:26:28,884 --> 01:26:30,951
AND MY HANDS ARE CONSIDERED
LETHAL WEAPONS.
1868
01:26:30,986 --> 01:26:32,363
(David)
OOH, SCARY.
1869
01:26:32,398 --> 01:26:34,731
(Trudie)
DAVID?
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
1870
01:26:34,766 --> 01:26:36,608
PAYBACK.
IT'S A BITCH.
1871
01:26:36,643 --> 01:26:40,322
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE
ON YOUR HONEYMOON OR SOMETHING?
1872
01:26:40,358 --> 01:26:42,348
OKAY, HOW ABOUT I TAKE
THAT BLINDFOLD OFF NOW?
1873
01:26:42,384 --> 01:26:44,526
HUH?
HOW'D THAT BE?
1874
01:26:46,937 --> 01:26:49,427
WOW.
WHERE ARE WE?
1875
01:26:52,237 --> 01:26:55,957
TRUDIE, YOU ARE...
1876
01:26:55,991 --> 01:26:58,299
UNORGANIZED, AND PUSHY,
1877
01:26:58,335 --> 01:27:00,859
AND CRAZY.
1878
01:27:00,893 --> 01:27:02,296
I KNOW, AND I'M WORKING
ON THOSE THINGS.
1879
01:27:02,330 --> 01:27:03,316
AND IF YOU'LL JUST
LISTEN TO ME--
1880
01:27:03,352 --> 01:27:04,588
AND YOU TALK TOO MUCH.
OKAY.
1881
01:27:08,054 --> 01:27:11,226
I LOST A LOT
BECAUSE OF YOU.
1882
01:27:11,261 --> 01:27:12,921
BUT I'VE REALIZED
1883
01:27:12,956 --> 01:27:13,826
THAT I DON'T WANT
ANY OF THOSE THINGS.
1884
01:27:13,861 --> 01:27:16,509
WAIT.
YOU DON'T?
1885
01:27:19,943 --> 01:27:22,242
EVERYTHING I WANT...
IS RIGHT HERE.
1886
01:27:24,919 --> 01:27:28,937
MARTIN ART
AND ARCHITECTURE.
1887
01:27:28,972 --> 01:27:31,970
A GALLERY AND A STUDIO.
1888
01:27:32,005 --> 01:27:35,999
WOW.
IT'S AMAZING.
1889
01:27:36,034 --> 01:27:38,110
AND I'VE JUSTACQUIRED MY FIRST PIECE.
1890
01:27:46,361 --> 01:27:47,663
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
1891
01:27:47,698 --> 01:27:49,449
THAT'S A FIRST.
1892
01:27:55,400 --> 01:27:57,308
I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE
STRIVING FOR THINGS
1893
01:27:57,343 --> 01:27:59,185
THAT I DIDN'T EVEN WANT,
1894
01:27:59,221 --> 01:28:00,947
BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT'S
WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO.
1895
01:28:00,982 --> 01:28:03,290
I THOUGHT I HAD
SOMETHING TO PROVE.
1896
01:28:03,325 --> 01:28:07,369
BUT I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE
ANYTHING TO ANYONE ANYMORE.
1897
01:28:07,403 --> 01:28:10,210
YOU DON'T?
1898
01:28:10,245 --> 01:28:13,683
WELL...
1899
01:28:13,718 --> 01:28:15,120
MAYBE ONE MORE THING.
1900
01:28:32,858 --> 01:28:35,141
CAN YOU TAKE THESE
OFF ME NOW?
1901
01:28:45,469 --> 01:28:48,491
(Trudie)
THERE MAY BE NO SUCH THING
AS A PERFECT JOB,
1902
01:28:48,527 --> 01:28:51,191
A PERFECT FAMILY,
OR A PERFECT LIFE.
1903
01:28:51,227 --> 01:28:53,600
BUT THERE IS SUCH A THING
AS A PERFECT MOMENT.
1904
01:28:53,636 --> 01:28:55,254
SO I TAKE BACK
WHAT I SAID.
1905
01:28:55,289 --> 01:28:59,606
DOING ONE CRAZY THING
PROBABLY DOES MAKE YOU CRAZY,
1906
01:28:59,642 --> 01:29:01,634
BUT IT CAN ALSO
MAKE YOU HAPPY.
131150
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