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1
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I don't want to be in love.
2
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What is this? Tuesday?
3
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I don't want my last day to be a frickin' Tuesday!
4
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I can't believe this is happening!
5
00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:37,770
This...this...can't be!
6
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Not in this uncomfortable tuxedo!
7
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We had a deal!
8
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I mean...I know the deal wasn't written in stone! but...
9
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Still! This wasn't supposed to go down like this!
10
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It's so ironic!
11
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I just bent down to pick some flowers!
12
00:00:56,820 --> 00:00:58,820
What the hell?!
13
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,270
Why did they do that?
14
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:03,270
Was it on purpose?
15
00:01:05,070 --> 00:01:08,200
I don't want my story to end!
16
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I don't want to end up all alone!
17
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Not on Tuesday!
18
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Not on a Tuesday!
19
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Thanks for the sweater.
20
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It's great...You're the best!
21
00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:38,320
But doesn't it make you kind of mad?
22
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:41,820
You know, that you don't have somebody more significant to spend your time with?
23
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what do you mean?
24
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My best friend...and we spend...
25
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...all of our time together.
26
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What else do I need?
27
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Well what about a girlfriend?
28
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,570
What about a wife?
29
00:01:53,570 --> 00:01:56,600
I mean you're 34 years old, Maxie boy.
30
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But I like ... booze!
31
00:01:59,350 --> 00:02:01,350
...and hookers...
32
00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:02,850
...and dogs, I mean...
33
00:02:02,850 --> 00:02:05,720
...let's face it. This are a few of my favorite things.
34
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:09,850
Anyway, let's blow this Popsicle stand. I gotta meet Frank outside.
35
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Blow out your candle. Make a wish birthday boy.
36
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Let's go.
37
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:33,500
Hey Max...I got a proposition for you.
38
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Since it's your birthday and all....
39
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40
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Well I was thinking....
41
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...what do you say, if we don't find anybody better by your next birthday...
42
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...that ...we just marry each other.
43
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You're kidding right? No.
44
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I get it, you're drunk.
45
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I'm sorry, let's go, right?
46
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Thank you...
47
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Thanks. How you doing? Let's go.
48
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:10,050
Gee...what is this? Our third date or something? And you didn't even bring me flowers?
49
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You didn't even bring me flowers!
50
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Ahh...see a true gentleman.
51
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:30,300
Hey,...uhh...what are you trying to do? Make me look bad in front of my girl, buckaroo?
52
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Uhh...I think you're doing that all by yourself.
53
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You guys have fun. You bet. See you sweets. Come on.
54
00:03:39,870 --> 00:03:41,870
See you sweets.
55
00:03:51,220 --> 00:03:57,900
If we don't find anybody better by your next birthday, we just marry each other.
56
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:05,520
Alright. I'm trusting you.
57
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,520
It's all about trust.
58
00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:13,000
Now, I'm gonna start eating your pussy.
59
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,550
Now I want you to lay back.
60
00:04:17,270 --> 00:04:20,520
I'm sure.
61
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,650
Spread those legs.
62
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This is making me kind of nervous.
63
00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:50,070
Oh, baby, that's so good!
64
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,020
Give me more!
65
00:06:06,020 --> 00:06:11,570
Oh, yes! Give me that hot fucking knob!
66
00:06:41,070 --> 00:06:45,500
Fuck yes! Do it!
67
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:18,970
Hey! Hey!
68
00:07:18,970 --> 00:07:22,320
You liked that didn't you? Uhh huh.
69
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,420
Yeah. You're awfully sneaky.
70
00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:28,620
Well, it's okay. It's just a ....
71
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I wanna see your little pussy!
72
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.... Okay.
73
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:42,450
You sure that's what you want?
74
00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:44,200
You want to do what?!
75
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,540
She's gonna eat your pussy!
76
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:48,200
She's gonna ...Suck your cock? Oh, yeah.
77
00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:56,420
Like that?
78
00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:10,850
Oh, yes! Suck his cock!
79
00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:25,800
Rub those pussies together!
80
00:09:56,670 --> 00:10:00,000
Fuck your mouth, huh?
81
00:10:21,970 --> 00:10:24,600
I'm having fun!
82
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:49,450
Choke on that big fucking dick!
83
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,900
Does that feel good? Does that feel good on your dick?
84
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:38,950
Doesn't that feel good? Huh?!
85
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,070
86
00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:07,500
Yes, bury your cock in her!
87
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,970
Put your big dick in her fucking hole!
88
00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:16,770
Lick that pussy with your hot tongue!
89
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:58,940
Yes, you like that?
90
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:02,280
You like it...Say it!
91
00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:38,600
Fuck that nasty little slut!
92
00:13:48,150 --> 00:13:51,870
Taste that little pussy!
93
00:13:51,870 --> 00:13:54,850
taste it some more!
94
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,820
Take that pussy! Make it yours!
95
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:35,150
You like that hard cock!
96
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,320
Spit on my pussy.
97
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:44,700
Lick that cock clean!
98
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:49,200
99
00:31:08,250 --> 00:31:11,050
I just want everything to be picture perfect.
100
00:31:11,050 --> 00:31:14,300
To be as wonderful and glorious...
101
00:31:14,300 --> 00:31:16,300
...to be with the woman I love....
102
00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:20,280
...to show her that...I was the one worthy of loving.
103
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,000
...to show her i was the most deserving.
104
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,740
But the one she had to settle for...
105
00:31:25,740 --> 00:31:27,740
...but the best.
106
00:31:27,740 --> 00:31:29,740
...like she was for me.
107
00:31:30,250 --> 00:31:31,740
The dream come true...
108
00:31:31,740 --> 00:31:33,740
...not the middle of the road...
109
00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:37,580
...if she could just hold my hand...
110
00:31:37,580 --> 00:31:39,580
...if she could just hold my hand and tell me that...
111
00:31:39,580 --> 00:31:41,580
...everything was going g to be okay...
112
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,170
Everything is going to be okay.
113
00:31:50,540 --> 00:31:52,460
Everything is going to be okay.
114
00:31:53,850 --> 00:31:55,360
115
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:56,640
I'm positive!
116
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,640
Your work is awesome!
117
00:31:58,270 --> 00:31:59,720
They're gonna buy it!
118
00:32:02,540 --> 00:32:04,760
But, I'm a terrible writer!
119
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,760
I don't know what I'm doing.
120
00:32:07,230 --> 00:32:10,920
Everybody just seems interested in the lowest common denominator.
121
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:14,040
but...this artsy crap that I'm doing...
122
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,800
I mean...all they want to read about is...
123
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,800
...chicks with big boobs and...
124
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...guys with guns and fast cocks.
125
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,520
Baloney!
126
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,520
Don't be such a worry wort!
127
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:29,980
You're great! They're gonna buy it! Now be a good boy and eat your sandwich.
128
00:32:29,980 --> 00:32:31,980
Okay.
129
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,640
So what do you got going on tonight?
130
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,640
Hot date!
131
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,240
Nah, more of a lukewarm kind of thing.
132
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,040
Just some guy I met online...
133
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,040
Total DMB.
134
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,410
DMB?
135
00:32:44,410 --> 00:32:47,420
You know, dinner...movie...and a blowjob.
136
00:32:47,420 --> 00:32:48,700
Nothing more.
137
00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:51,720
I see...Quite clever.
138
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,720
I have my moments!
139
00:32:56,410 --> 00:32:58,410
Pervert!
140
00:32:58,410 --> 00:33:01,660
you think I'm a pervert?!
141
00:33:01,660 --> 00:33:04,510
I don't think it, I know it!
142
00:33:04,510 --> 00:33:06,510
What are you talking about?
143
00:33:10,910 --> 00:33:13,760
so...do you love this woman?
144
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,540
Tell her you love her.
145
00:33:16,540 --> 00:33:18,540
I make her love you back.
146
00:33:18,780 --> 00:33:21,260
Mmmhh?
147
00:33:21,260 --> 00:33:23,260
She does love me.
148
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,200
Just as...a ...friend...
149
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,220
Baahhh!
150
00:33:30,220 --> 00:33:33,100
She loved you more than a friend.
151
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,320
152
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,320
Yeah. Now suck my thumb.
153
00:33:38,910 --> 00:33:40,810
Yes, mistress.
154
00:33:40,810 --> 00:33:44,900
155
00:33:45,300 --> 00:33:49,150
You, just cannot wait until your birthday?
156
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:50,800
You must do it now!...
157
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,700
...You have to do it sooner!
158
00:33:52,700 --> 00:33:55,230
She'll find somebody better!
159
00:33:55,820 --> 00:33:59,390
She'll find fancy car...
160
00:33:59,390 --> 00:34:01,390
Pretty dresses for her?!
161
00:34:03,130 --> 00:34:05,430
162
00:34:05,430 --> 00:34:07,430
But she's not into all that!...
163
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,430
She wants love not money.
164
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,430
I mean... I know her.
165
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:12,960
I've known her all my life!
166
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:14,650
We've always been each other's best friends!
167
00:34:14,650 --> 00:34:17,260
Then, put your penis inside her!
168
00:34:17,260 --> 00:34:20,410
...the ring on her finger. Go make babies ....
169
00:34:20,410 --> 00:34:20,970
Mmmhh?
170
00:34:21,580 --> 00:34:25,070
You're not getting any younger. You're not spring chicken.
171
00:34:25,070 --> 00:34:27,830
172
00:34:27,830 --> 00:34:29,000
What?!
173
00:34:30,140 --> 00:34:32,320
go tell her you love her!
174
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,320
Tell her you want to marry.
175
00:34:34,830 --> 00:34:37,050
Your life is happening now!
176
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,410
This moment is all you have!
177
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:42,410
Mmmh?
178
00:34:42,410 --> 00:34:44,520
179
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,210
So choose love, huh? What?
180
00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:49,210
181
00:34:49,210 --> 00:34:51,210
No buts!
182
00:34:51,570 --> 00:34:54,490
You will just say, yes! Follow your heart...
183
00:34:54,490 --> 00:34:56,490
Tell the girl I love her.
184
00:34:58,200 --> 00:34:59,750
yes, mistress.
185
00:34:59,750 --> 00:35:02,390
i will follow my heart. And tell the girl I love her.
186
00:35:02,390 --> 00:35:04,390
Good boy!
187
00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:05,760
Now...
188
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,790
The penis in ...
189
00:35:08,790 --> 00:35:10,640
...and we make sperm for fun.
190
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:11,370
Yeah?
191
00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:14,330
Yes, mistress.
192
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:18,370
yes, mistress.
193
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:21,820
Yes, mistress.
194
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:15,120
195
00:46:11,820 --> 00:46:17,310
Very good. So!
196
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,800
Would you tell her?
197
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,420
Yes, mistress.
198
00:46:23,420 --> 00:46:30,340
199
00:46:33,260 --> 00:46:37,020
So I had a great time tonight, I guess.
200
00:46:37,900 --> 00:46:40,520
Thanks for buying me dinner.
201
00:46:41,500 --> 00:46:46,060
Your welcome. You know, you don't have to be so formal.
202
00:46:46,060 --> 00:46:47,420
I don't?
203
00:46:47,420 --> 00:46:48,600
No.
204
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,600
You can relax.
205
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,680
It's okay. I like you. You can just be yourself.
206
00:46:54,510 --> 00:46:55,680
Really?
207
00:46:55,960 --> 00:47:00,680
Yeah. You know, don't go whipping out your salami, right away.
208
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:04,280
It's okay. I won't bite.
209
00:47:06,460 --> 00:47:07,930
Can I kiss you?
210
00:47:07,930 --> 00:47:09,930
Yeah.
211
00:47:16,330 --> 00:47:19,000
Let's go....
212
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:22,270
Okay. Totally!
213
00:53:19,420 --> 00:53:21,940
Dianne!
214
00:53:31,460 --> 00:53:34,000
Dianne!
215
00:53:47,900 --> 00:53:50,560
Why didn't you wait for me?
216
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:53,100
It was supposed to be just a DMV.
217
00:53:53,530 --> 00:53:57,880
Why? It was because I needed someone who wasn't afraid to say he loved me!
218
00:53:57,880 --> 00:53:59,880
I needed somebody brave.
219
00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:01,880
You had our chance.
220
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:03,880
Sorry. That's that.
221
00:54:08,750 --> 00:54:11,060
Make a wish, birthday boy!
222
00:54:16,900 --> 00:54:18,570
so what'd you wish for?
223
00:54:18,570 --> 00:54:20,570
I'm not telling.
224
00:54:20,570 --> 00:54:22,060
It won't come true.
225
00:54:22,060 --> 00:54:25,390
Don't be such an old lady. Tell me what'd you wish for?!
226
00:54:25,390 --> 00:54:27,390
Maybe it will come true.
227
00:59:00,730 --> 00:59:04,260
Fuck me all over with your tongue!
228
00:59:19,730 --> 00:59:25,860
Make me all wet! Make me all wet and juicy for you!
229
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:33,450
Now I'm your bride and you can do whatever you want to me!
230
01:01:35,940 --> 01:01:35,970
Fuck my little mouth?
231
01:01:38,250 --> 01:01:41,970
Yeah, fuck my hot little mouth!
232
01:09:05,260 --> 01:09:08,600
Is that your wish?
233
01:09:11,660 --> 01:09:14,400
That's my wish.
234
01:09:14,400 --> 01:09:17,330
Any chance of it coming true?
235
01:09:18,930 --> 01:09:25,860
Umm...well...I kind of have something to tell you.
236
01:09:25,860 --> 01:09:31,130
You know how we had that deal? The one about marriage?
237
01:09:31,130 --> 01:09:33,130
Well...
238
01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:39,450
Viggo...Viggo kind of asked me to...
239
01:09:39,450 --> 01:09:40,960
...To what?!
240
01:09:43,770 --> 01:09:45,720
Future bride to be....
241
01:09:45,720 --> 01:09:47,450
Future what now?!
242
01:09:47,450 --> 01:09:49,450
Aren't you happy for us?
243
01:09:49,450 --> 01:09:51,450
But of course.
244
01:09:51,450 --> 01:09:55,710
Oh,...cupcake!
245
01:09:55,710 --> 01:10:15,450
Now, I should've been happy. Right?
246
01:10:15,450 --> 01:10:17,450
But it's not what I felt.
247
01:10:17,900 --> 01:10:22,250
Inside....Inside I felt sad.
248
01:10:22,250 --> 01:10:24,250
...and broken hearted.
249
01:10:24,250 --> 01:10:27,390
I finally told...her...you know...
250
01:10:27,390 --> 01:10:29,800
I finally told her that I was in love with her.
251
01:10:29,800 --> 01:10:31,800
...that my fantasy was to be with her.
252
01:10:32,830 --> 01:10:34,830
And what'd she tell me...?
253
01:10:34,830 --> 01:10:36,830
...that she could never be with me.
254
01:10:38,750 --> 01:10:42,280
But the worst part is that they invited me to the stupid wedding!
255
01:10:42,910 --> 01:10:45,480
Of course, then again, how can I complain?
256
01:10:45,480 --> 01:10:47,230
I had a chance for that.
257
01:10:47,230 --> 01:10:49,230
I knew it was up to Fay.
258
01:10:49,230 --> 01:10:51,230
She didn't know that I really loved her.
259
01:10:52,170 --> 01:10:53,660
She didn't know.
260
01:10:53,660 --> 01:10:57,150
she gave it up to chance and she found someone.
261
01:10:57,370 --> 01:10:59,150
Just go to the center...
262
01:10:59,150 --> 01:11:01,880
...celebrate your best friend's big day.
263
01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:03,880
Be a good friend!
264
01:11:03,880 --> 01:11:05,580
Hell, be a good guy.
265
01:11:05,580 --> 01:11:07,580
After all....
266
01:11:07,880 --> 01:11:10,620
... if I wasn't spending all my time...
267
01:11:10,620 --> 01:11:14,270
...messing around with hookers... and picking up strangers from bars...
268
01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:16,270
...maybe I could've made more of the moment.
269
01:11:17,290 --> 01:11:18,890
Maybe.
270
01:11:19,560 --> 01:11:20,890
Maybe.
271
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:25,040
Maybe that one girl was right.
272
01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:27,040
All we have is now. You know?
273
01:11:27,040 --> 01:11:29,680
So...why complain?
274
01:11:29,680 --> 01:11:31,360
This is the moment....
275
01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:33,360
...this is all that we really have.
276
01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:35,360
We choose our lives.
277
01:11:35,360 --> 01:11:37,360
Our lives don't choose us.
278
01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:39,360
So why complain about it?
279
01:11:40,430 --> 01:11:43,520
Uhh...why not just try to make the most out of it?
280
01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:46,880
Why not just be here now?
281
01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:51,500
Just go to the reception, you putz!
282
01:11:51,500 --> 01:11:54,760
Bring her a flower and wish her good LUCK!
283
01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:04,800
Oh my, are you okay?
284
01:12:18,220 --> 01:12:21,100
Oh my god! No!
285
01:12:21,610 --> 01:12:24,590
Oh! No! No!
286
01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:30,720
[ambulance sounds]
287
01:12:30,720 --> 01:12:32,720
Fuck!
288
01:12:36,030 --> 01:12:39,080
Why not just be here now?
289
01:12:39,080 --> 01:12:41,080
In this moment.
290
01:12:42,170 --> 01:12:46,160
And make the most of the time we have now.
291
01:12:46,160 --> 01:12:48,160
And the company at hand.
292
01:16:25,110 --> 01:16:26,850
Ohh!
293
01:25:29,770 --> 01:25:32,250
Give it to me there!
294
01:27:50,140 --> 01:27:53,080
All we have is now.
295
01:27:53,080 --> 01:27:55,080
Who could ask for anything more?
296
01:28:08,570 --> 01:28:12,310
... Jump back and scream!
297
01:28:17,050 --> 01:28:20,320
That's good! Good! Good!
298
01:28:22,310 --> 01:28:24,940
Look at the camera again.
299
01:28:32,170 --> 01:28:35,450
What's with you looking at the camera?
300
01:28:35,450 --> 01:28:37,450
yeah.
301
01:28:38,680 --> 01:28:42,510
At least give me a cock to look at.
302
01:28:42,510 --> 01:28:45,140
I said BREED!
303
01:28:45,140 --> 01:28:50,400
20151
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