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1
00:00:01,458 --> 00:00:04,078
♪♪
2
00:00:04,167 --> 00:00:05,787
Brice: Coming this Friday
to Earth,
3
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,125
it's [Echoing] Blood Barn,
4
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,788
the annual intergalactic
cockfighting tournament.
5
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:11,495
[ Chicken clucks ]
That's right.
6
00:00:11,583 --> 00:00:13,833
See the galaxy's top chickens
duel to the [Echoing] death
7
00:00:13,917 --> 00:00:17,287
for intergalactic glory,
hosted by me, Brett Brice.
8
00:00:17,375 --> 00:00:20,415
[ Soft music plays ]
I'm actually against
the whole thing,
9
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,790
but my baby was born
with a serious heart condition
10
00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:25,035
and if I don't pay the bills,
she'll surely [Echoing] die.
11
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,915
Blood Barn is sponsored
by Intergalactic FDA.
12
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,210
Earth is finally hosting
Blood Barn,
13
00:00:30,292 --> 00:00:32,792
and after years of humiliation,
Earth must win.
14
00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:34,915
We'll finally have the respect
of the League of Planets.
15
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,580
This could be big
for Hot Streets and for me --
16
00:00:38,667 --> 00:00:40,577
finally, a seat
at the big-boy table.
17
00:00:40,667 --> 00:00:41,747
But Earth's chickens
are just food pillows
18
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,463
that poop
tasty circles.
19
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:45,792
They can't fight.
20
00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:48,075
That's why you'll be fighting
in their place
21
00:00:48,167 --> 00:00:49,457
disguised as chickens.
22
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:50,632
Your mission --
win Blood Barn.
23
00:00:50,708 --> 00:00:52,458
I presume
you made us beaks.
24
00:00:52,542 --> 00:00:54,422
Only the finest.
25
00:00:54,875 --> 00:00:57,285
Beaks on,
ready to peck.
26
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:01,288
Where's Jen? I have an extremely
important question for her.
27
00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:05,325
I sent her and Chubbie
on vacation to Fort Lauderdale.
28
00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:08,077
Fort Lauderdale
is heaven.
29
00:01:08,167 --> 00:01:09,247
Ah.
30
00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:11,293
Incoming call from Jet Junior.
31
00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:14,125
Jet Junior? Wow.
This must be important.
32
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,578
Jen, I know
you're on vacation,
33
00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,957
but I have an important question
only you can answer.
34
00:01:18,042 --> 00:01:19,502
It's unrelated
to Hot Streets.
35
00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:20,423
Shoot.
36
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,330
Warning --
this question is pretty deep.
37
00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:24,327
You'll have to put on
your mental scuba gear.
38
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:25,917
Got it.
I'm ready.
39
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,540
Fair warning -- Your very brain
is about to embark
40
00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:28,535
on a perilous journey
far from the soft sands
41
00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:30,825
of Fort Lauderdale.
42
00:01:30,917 --> 00:01:31,827
Okay.
43
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:35,997
Jen, why are things
the way they are?!
44
00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:37,083
Excuse me?
45
00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:40,667
Why are things
the way they are?
46
00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:42,250
That is a question.
47
00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:45,293
I mean, I'd --
I'd have to think about it.
48
00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:46,995
Get me that answer.
49
00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:49,883
[ Cellphone beeps ]
Why are things
the way they are?
50
00:01:49,958 --> 00:01:50,538
I can do this.
51
00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:53,325
[ Panting ]
Hey!
52
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:56,037
Wuh, wuh.
53
00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:57,245
[ Chatter ]
54
00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,173
Chicken check-in is
right over there.
55
00:01:58,250 --> 00:02:00,540
Do Earth proud
and murder those chickens.
56
00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:01,665
Don't worry,
Jet.
57
00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:03,790
Just leave
the fighting to me.
58
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,825
I'm checking in
on behalf of Earth.
59
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,667
We only have
one qualifying question.
60
00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:11,710
Are you a chicken?
No.
61
00:02:11,792 --> 00:02:13,882
I'm sorry. You can't enter
this competition.
62
00:02:13,958 --> 00:02:14,578
Damn.
They got me.
63
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:17,747
Are you a chicken?
64
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,003
Yes?
65
00:02:19,083 --> 00:02:19,883
Welcome to
the competition.
66
00:02:19,958 --> 00:02:22,288
Well, Branski,
you tried your best.
67
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,075
I blew it.
[ Sighs ]
68
00:02:24,167 --> 00:02:25,877
Why are things
the way they are?
69
00:02:25,958 --> 00:02:28,878
Believe me,
I don't know.
70
00:02:28,958 --> 00:02:31,328
I just don't know.
71
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:32,707
Well, better get
to our seats.
72
00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:34,382
Don't want to miss
that first drop of blood.
73
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:37,168
Uh...Aah!
74
00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:38,750
[ Clanking ]
75
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,292
Time to get processed.
76
00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:46,787
Aah!
77
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,325
[ Whimpering ]
78
00:02:49,417 --> 00:02:51,497
Antibiotics --
beaks open.
79
00:02:54,292 --> 00:02:56,382
[ Groaning ]
80
00:02:57,792 --> 00:02:59,132
Is this normal?
81
00:02:59,208 --> 00:03:00,418
You must be new.
82
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,250
This is the way
all chickens are treated.
83
00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:04,383
They call me
Boraxis the Bludgeoner.
84
00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:05,538
Donald French.
85
00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:07,785
I've only ever known
this life of blood,
86
00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:08,785
so if I win,
87
00:03:08,875 --> 00:03:11,575
I'll devote the rest
of my new life caring for him.
88
00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:12,747
A tasty circle?
89
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:16,133
This tasty circle
is my child.
90
00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:17,328
[ Clanking ]
91
00:03:17,417 --> 00:03:18,747
You're up,
Bludgeoner.
92
00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:22,963
[ Cheers and applause ]
93
00:03:23,042 --> 00:03:24,542
[ Bones crack ]
94
00:03:24,625 --> 00:03:25,915
Aah!
95
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,500
[ Grunting ]
96
00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:29,463
The Bludgeoner
is the chicken to beat.
97
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,172
I hope French can do this
for Hot Street.
98
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,540
I don't know.
99
00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:34,625
I'm kind of rooting
for Bludgeoner at this point.
100
00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:35,918
He's my kind of chicken.
101
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,130
What about
the League of Planets?
102
00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:39,788
Let's heat it up,
Bludgeoner!
103
00:03:39,875 --> 00:03:42,075
Ooh, only the Bludgeoner
is left.
104
00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:43,707
Good luck,
pal.
105
00:03:43,792 --> 00:03:44,632
Whoa!
All: [ Chanting ] Blood! Blood!
106
00:03:44,708 --> 00:03:46,668
Blood! Blood!
[ Camera shutters clicking ]
107
00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:50,210
Blood!
Blood! Blood!
108
00:03:50,292 --> 00:03:51,332
It's down
to these two chickens.
109
00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:54,127
By the way, I'm not into
this reprehensible blood sport.
110
00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:57,958
News flash -- All animals
have the capacity to love,
111
00:03:58,042 --> 00:03:58,792
and some even get married.
112
00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:01,075
It's true!
[ Grunts ]
113
00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:05,287
I'm sorry, my friend,
but I must kill you now.
114
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,375
[ Grunts ]
Ah!
115
00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:09,288
[ Cheers and applause ]
116
00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:10,825
[ Grunts ]
117
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,287
[ Grunts ]
118
00:04:12,375 --> 00:04:16,625
♪♪
119
00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:19,667
[ Grunts ]
Boraxis.
120
00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:22,500
What a grisly spectacle.
121
00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:25,833
Nonetheless, congrats to Earth
and to Hot Streets.
122
00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,327
[ Coughs ]
123
00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:32,207
French, take care of,
uh, my son.
124
00:04:32,292 --> 00:04:34,632
All: [ Chanting ] Earth! Earth!
Earth! Earth!
125
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,248
You took a tip to the lip,
case closed.
126
00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:40,253
Earth will finally have respect
throughout the galaxy
127
00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,963
thanks to you.
Yeah.
128
00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:45,002
[ Chirping ]
129
00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:46,173
Oh, my God.
130
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:47,670
Don't worry,
little Bludgeoner.
131
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,460
I'm going to take you to a farm
full of Earth chickens.
132
00:04:49,542 --> 00:04:51,882
[ Chirps ]
133
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,170
[ Brakes squeal ]
134
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,080
Looks like
a pretty nice place.
135
00:04:55,167 --> 00:04:57,877
[ Chirping ]
Hello there.
136
00:04:57,958 --> 00:05:00,288
This is going to be
your new home.
137
00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:02,075
[ Chirps ]
138
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:08,290
Aah!
Nothing but gizzard in here,
no meat.
139
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,915
Worthless.
140
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,540
My God.
141
00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:17,495
[ Chickens clucking ]
142
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:20,543
This is how
you treat chickens?
143
00:05:20,625 --> 00:05:22,075
You're a monster.
144
00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:22,747
But who eats them?
145
00:05:22,833 --> 00:05:23,923
Oh,
that's right.
146
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,380
We farmers
do the dirty work
147
00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:27,458
so all you chicken eaters
don't have to.
148
00:05:27,542 --> 00:05:32,132
You think I like killing
defenseless chickens, huh?
149
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:33,705
[ Deep voice ]
I do!
150
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:36,582
I love it!
151
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:37,917
Aah!
152
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,330
[ Dramatic music playing ]
153
00:05:40,417 --> 00:05:41,707
All farmers
are like this!
154
00:05:41,792 --> 00:05:43,632
[ Tires screech ]
155
00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:45,998
[ Dialing ]
156
00:05:46,083 --> 00:05:48,923
Someone is asking
too many questions.
157
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:49,830
Why are things
the way they are?
158
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:50,957
Hmm.
Why?!
159
00:05:51,042 --> 00:05:53,502
I have to
figure this out!
160
00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:54,253
Hey!
[ Whimpers ]
161
00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:57,213
Why are things
the way they are?
162
00:05:57,292 --> 00:06:00,962
Leave me alone, Chubbie,
you fucking asshole!
163
00:06:01,042 --> 00:06:04,712
I don't know why things
are the way they are!
164
00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:05,752
Yet.
165
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:09,423
[ Chanting ] Blood! Blood!Blood! Blood!
166
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,710
Aah!
167
00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:13,132
You've been having
chicken nightmares all night.
168
00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:16,458
French, do animals like you
have feelings?
169
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:17,672
Of course they do.
170
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:19,960
I love you
just as much as you love me.
171
00:06:20,042 --> 00:06:22,752
People don't understand this
about critters.
172
00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:24,633
It's our cross
to bear.
173
00:06:24,708 --> 00:06:26,328
The world must know,
174
00:06:26,417 --> 00:06:28,997
and I'm
going to tell them.
175
00:06:30,042 --> 00:06:31,672
Ah. Ah.
176
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:34,710
Both: Why are things
the way they are?
177
00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:36,132
All:
[ Chanting ] Love! Love!
178
00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:39,078
Chickens feel human love
in their hearts -- love!
179
00:06:39,167 --> 00:06:41,167
French,
what's all this hooey?
180
00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:44,290
We all eat food.
Chicken is food.
181
00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:45,245
I happen to prefer mine
very dry.
182
00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:48,383
Now let's get back
to Hot Streets.
But --
183
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:49,668
But nothing.
184
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:50,750
Nothing you say is going to
make me change my mind
185
00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:52,003
about eating chicken.
186
00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:54,793
Chickens are tender,
Branski,
187
00:06:54,875 --> 00:06:55,575
and not
how you think.
188
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:58,327
They're tender
in their hearts!
189
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:01,627
Okay. I'm onboard.
We shouldn't kill chickens.
190
00:07:01,708 --> 00:07:02,878
Chickens are tender.
191
00:07:02,958 --> 00:07:04,578
Chickens are sweet.
Chickens can love.
192
00:07:06,708 --> 00:07:08,378
French, look out!
[ Gunshot ]
193
00:07:08,458 --> 00:07:08,708
[ All screaming ]
194
00:07:08,792 --> 00:07:12,212
♪♪
195
00:07:12,292 --> 00:07:13,832
Aah!
Who do you work for?
196
00:07:13,917 --> 00:07:17,287
[ Gunshot ]
197
00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:19,825
Dang. Harsh.
They kill their own.
198
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:20,707
He has
a business card.
199
00:07:20,792 --> 00:07:22,332
The FDA?
200
00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:26,497
Jet Junior, we have
a Hot Streets for you.
201
00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:28,293
That's not
how things work here.
202
00:07:28,375 --> 00:07:31,325
The FDA has been condoning
chicken brutality for years.
203
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,497
We have to
take them down.
204
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:33,883
Take down the FDA?
205
00:07:33,958 --> 00:07:36,168
French is right.
206
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:37,670
Earth is only as strong
as our weakest chicken.
207
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,880
You had me at,
"French is right,"
208
00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:42,578
even though I have zero
to personally gain from this.
209
00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:45,915
We'll head out soon,
but first,
210
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,500
I have an extremely
pressing matter to check on.
211
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:50,293
[ Cellphone chimes ]
212
00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:52,535
Jen,
where's my answer?
213
00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:55,075
I -- I don't think
I can do this.
214
00:07:55,167 --> 00:07:56,327
You have to.
215
00:07:56,417 --> 00:07:59,917
In summation, we found food is
better going in than coming out.
216
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,830
Who's in charge here?!
217
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:03,957
Me.
218
00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:05,882
Chickens!
What about them?
219
00:08:05,958 --> 00:08:07,748
Did you know chickens
are pumped full of hormones
220
00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:10,043
to accelerate their growth rate
by 65%?
221
00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:11,165
Many can't even
use their legs!
222
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,580
They're overpacked
into coops
223
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,417
and forced into
so-called kill cones
224
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,210
or even gas chambers.
225
00:08:17,292 --> 00:08:18,752
And they love.
226
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:21,923
Chickens love
like us humans.
227
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,290
I never...
You sent an assassin
to shoot French.
228
00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:27,285
Believe me, I don't know
anything about that.
229
00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:29,705
There are a lot of things
you don't know, Commissioner.
230
00:08:29,792 --> 00:08:33,002
Sometimes, you have to
bury the truth to pay the bills.
231
00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:36,833
We did this
in the name of profit?!
232
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,287
You are fired!
From this day forward,
233
00:08:38,375 --> 00:08:41,575
Earth will treat chickens
with respect.
234
00:08:41,667 --> 00:08:45,457
Thanks, Commissioner.
Looks like we got our justice.
235
00:08:45,542 --> 00:08:47,212
No,
this goes higher.
236
00:08:47,292 --> 00:08:49,212
Chickens from every planet
must be saved.
237
00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:51,582
The horrors I saw
in Blood Barn.
238
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:55,247
We'll have to take it
all the way to the top.
239
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:56,793
The Intergalactic FDA?
240
00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:58,665
Yes.
241
00:08:58,750 --> 00:08:59,960
We'll take my shuttle.
242
00:09:00,042 --> 00:09:01,212
♪♪
243
00:09:01,292 --> 00:09:05,582
All in favor of humans as the
galaxy's next major food source?
244
00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:08,575
Don't you think
the major food source has a say?
245
00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:10,037
Don't shoot!
246
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:11,165
Ha!
247
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:11,830
Aah!
Commish!
248
00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:14,247
[ Gunshots ]
249
00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:15,793
Oh!
250
00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:18,285
[ Gunshots ]
Aye!
251
00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:19,535
[ Gunshot ]
Oh!
252
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,495
[ Gunshots, screaming ]
253
00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:25,753
The Commissioner and
the Intergalactic FDA are dead.
254
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:26,633
Who will
lead them now?
255
00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:29,628
I will, and as long
as I'm in charge,
256
00:09:29,708 --> 00:09:32,458
chickens of all planets
will never be abused,
257
00:09:32,542 --> 00:09:34,132
maimed,
or eaten again.
258
00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:36,128
Now help me get these bodies
into a dumpster.
259
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,998
Hey, French,
where you going?
260
00:09:38,083 --> 00:09:40,383
These things are heavy.
261
00:09:40,458 --> 00:09:44,168
There's still one loose thread
in this yarn ball.
262
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:50,583
[ Door slams open,
chickens clucking ]
263
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,747
[ Buzzer ]
264
00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:55,083
This just in --The surgery worked!
265
00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:57,127
My daughteris going to be fine!
266
00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:59,998
Just what do you think
you're doing?
267
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,333
♪♪
268
00:10:02,417 --> 00:10:05,577
[ Deep voice ]
Do it! Fucking do it!
269
00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:07,327
Be a man.
270
00:10:07,417 --> 00:10:09,537
I'm not a man.
271
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:12,375
I'm not like you.
272
00:10:14,125 --> 00:10:16,165
I'm a chicken.
[ Chickens clucking ]
273
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:20,080
Ca-ca craw,
ca-ca craw!
274
00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:22,627
Now that I run
the Intergalactic FDA,
275
00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:25,418
I can finally flood the galactic
market with my sauce.
276
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,210
It's dirt cheap,
and I've had 100 crates of it
277
00:10:28,292 --> 00:10:30,712
in my basement for 50 years.
278
00:10:30,792 --> 00:10:34,882
This filthy sauce is going to
make this jet filthy rich.
279
00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:35,498
[ Cellphone rings ]
280
00:10:35,583 --> 00:10:37,543
I did it,
Jet Junior.
281
00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:38,915
I figured out
the answer.
282
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,250
You mean, why are things
the way they are?
283
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:42,713
That's right.
284
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:43,042
Well?
285
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:45,665
They aren't.
286
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:47,830
They aren't?!
287
00:10:49,458 --> 00:10:51,288
[ Glass shatters ]
288
00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:52,785
They aren't.
289
00:10:55,292 --> 00:10:58,712
♪♪
19994
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