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1
00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:07,709
♪♪
2
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,711
[ Tires squeal ]
3
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,843
♪♪
4
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:13,278
[ Growls ]
5
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,547
[ Screaming ]
6
00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:18,552
♪♪
7
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:21,845
Any last questions before I
send you back in time to 1888?
8
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:25,018
I do, Agent Garcia.
What is it that we're
'sposed to be doing?
9
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:27,028
I wasn't paying attention
because you're boring.
10
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,430
Yeah, you're boring.
11
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,862
Oh, okay, we'll go through it
again. You see --
12
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,826
Somebody named Black Bart
is stealing horses --
13
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,995
from time itself.
-[ Clears throat ]
14
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,604
If we don't stop him
in 1888,
15
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,195
civilization will cease
to exist because...
Okay.
16
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:39,367
...horses were the building
blocks of American society
17
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,566
in the late 1800s.
-Are you prepared?
18
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:43,278
I've studied everything
there is to know
19
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:44,680
about Black Bart
and the Old West.
20
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,011
I'm terrific
at rounding up posses.
21
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,047
And I'm great at killing things
with my gun.
22
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:52,222
Ah, but you can't
kill things when you
time travel, Branski.
23
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:53,522
You see, there's a butterfly
effect and wh--
24
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,523
Yeah, yeah, we get it.
25
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,415
You can't kill anything
because of time travel.
26
00:00:57,457 --> 00:00:58,917
Can I at least
kill horses?
27
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,729
Your mission is
to save the horses.
Hmm.
28
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:03,461
Have you ever,
in your life, cared
29
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,427
about another
living creature?
Nope.
30
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:07,695
How 'bout this --
you can kill aliens
31
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,604
or anything not
from this Earth. Okay?
32
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,096
-Okay.
-Okay. Heh. On your way, then.
33
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:13,939
Good luck. Mwah.
34
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:16,914
Mwah. Mwah.
35
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:20,453
M-m-m-m-m-mwah.
36
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,780
Why do you have to be
so boring, Garcia?
37
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:25,816
One of these days,
you'll make a friend.
38
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:31,218
Branski,
we're in 1888!
39
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,428
All this just to save
some stupid horses.
40
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,390
I've been practicing
all the colloquial phrases
41
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:36,798
of the time --
check it out.
42
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,630
How do, sir?
43
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,625
I'm right heartily pleased
to make your --
44
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,597
-[ Sneezes ]
-Ugh!
45
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:43,766
Ugh!
46
00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:44,803
[ Dry-heaves ]
47
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,968
Bandit: Sheriff!
[ Horses whinnies ]
48
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,737
I'm rightly taking that there
horse on behalf of Black Bart.
49
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,476
But it's our last
doggone horse!
50
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:54,912
Easy partner,
no killing.
51
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,918
Remember what
that boring guy said?
52
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,480
Garcia...
53
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,648
Get off your horse
and fight me like a man.
54
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:03,017
Get off your feet
and fight me like a horse!
55
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,356
Okay.
56
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,362
[ Grunts ]
57
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:09,655
[ Horse whinnies ]
58
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,356
Black Bart'll be here tomorrow
at high noon
59
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:14,529
to kill y'all
and snake your final horse.
60
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:17,168
[ Horse whinnies ]
61
00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:18,504
Sheesh.
62
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,008
Black Bart and his boys
have ruined town.
63
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,470
They ride in from Jagged Gulch,
steal our horses,
64
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,339
and terrorize
the people.
65
00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:26,707
Not human.
[ Organs squish ]
66
00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:27,776
Not by far.
67
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,514
Finally!
Something to kill.
68
00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:31,649
I didn't think anybody
could stop Black Bart.
69
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,385
Until this buckaroo
came into town,
70
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:34,720
ripped one off
his flesh saddle,
71
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:36,794
and another came out of
that there horse vagina.
72
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,893
That's the kind of courage
this town needs.
73
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,390
Here's the official
sheriff's horse, Autumn Gold.
74
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:43,959
Treat him well.
75
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,027
We should take the fight
to Black Bart before high noon.
76
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:48,866
I'll scout out Jagged Gulch
on this dirty, disgusting horse.
77
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,702
We're going to need help
taking on the gang.
78
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:51,967
And that'll be
in the skin
79
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,405
of a classic old-school
western posse.
80
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,341
Assembled by
yours truly!
81
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,877
[ Retches, groans ]
82
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,383
And, Jen, just have fun
in the Old West.
83
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:05,575
[ Groans ]
J.A.S.O.N., scan symptoms.
84
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,649
J.A.S.O.N.: Typhoid fever, symptoms accelerated.
85
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,747
Prognosis -- positive.
86
00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:10,158
99% chance of full recovery
87
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,690
with immediate treatment of penicillin.
88
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,885
-[ Cheers ]
-Hooray!
89
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:16,257
Penicillin hasn't been invented
yet, you dumb [bleep]
90
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:17,596
[Bleep]
91
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,731
Chubbie, you're gonna
have to invent penicillin.
92
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,226
I need you to buy
all these ingredients.
93
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:24,398
It's expensive -- do whatever
you need to get the cash.
94
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:28,709
Yes!
Sell that ass, Chubbie.
95
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,842
[ Strained ]
Sell...that...ass...
96
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,378
Oooooh, yeah!
97
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,453
[ Saloon music playing ]
[ Laughs heartily ]
98
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:37,622
[ Music stops ]
99
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:39,748
Which one of you
dastardly dudes
100
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:43,586
wants to join my posse
to take down Black Bart?
101
00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:46,123
Hows about you,
partner?
102
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,759
[ Grunts ]
103
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:51,764
[ Music resumes ]
You made me walk backwards!
104
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,068
Better get you cleaned up,
Autumn Gold,
105
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,230
if you want a guy like me
riding you.
106
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:57,869
Yeah, there you go.
107
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,444
Huh, your mane
is quite exquisite.
108
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:03,643
And your coat --
silky and smooth.
109
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,307
I've never felt this way
about an animal before.
110
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:08,476
Black Bart's never taking you.
Ever.
111
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,145
I get it now --
we have to save the horses.
112
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,324
[ Grumbling ]
113
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:15,553
I tip my bonnet
to Chubbette.
114
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,058
[ Moaning ]
She's making top dollar
115
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:20,790
screwing all the ugliest,
diseased scoundrels in town!
116
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,787
Contrary
to what I said earlier,
117
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:25,329
I'm terrible
at rounding up posses.
118
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:29,365
Just look at me --
I'm an alcoholic.
119
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:33,167
Need a rock tosser
for your posse?
120
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,666
You've got it
all figured out.
121
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:41,147
[ Humming ]
122
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:42,911
It hurts! It hurts!
123
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,319
-What is it? You have an STD?
-Ow! Ow!
124
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,422
But we don't need
the penicillin anymore, Chubbie.
125
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,124
Can't you see,
we're both fine!
126
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:52,315
Typhoid fever, Stage 2 --Hallucinations. Death imminent.
127
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,259
-[ Whines ]
-Follow me, Chubbie!
128
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,534
Remember, I know how to
handle things in the Old West.
129
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,665
Excuse me sir, where in
tarnation is that Black Bart?
130
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,883
You don't say.
Much obliged.
131
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,113
Hubba-bubba-bub-bub-bub!
132
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,705
[ Hawk shrieks ]
133
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:16,147
Chubbie,
stop acting crazy.
134
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,482
You're embarrassing me.
135
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,047
This way...
136
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:26,556
[ Shivers ] Chubbie,
this is the roller-coaster line.
137
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,163
Black Bart is actually
a roller coaster.
138
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:35,165
Ow, ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow!
139
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,843
Black Bart,
I was about to get Autumn Gold,
140
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,035
but someone got
in the way --
141
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,576
someone stronger
than the others.
142
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:47,751
Are you saying that he
is stronger than me?!
143
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,181
[ Grunting ]
-[ Choking ]
144
00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:51,175
Nobody's stronger
than Black Bart!
145
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:54,147
-[ Whines ]
-[ Chokes, exhales deeply ]
146
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,747
[ Bodies thud ]
147
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,220
Boy, that Black Bart is scary.
My heart's racing.
148
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:02,589
Good thing you have
a classic western
posse to back you up.
149
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:03,729
Who the heck is this?
150
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,233
Rock-throwing Rick!
151
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:07,865
Black Bart is taking all
the horses into who-knows-where.
152
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:10,171
Autumn Gold stay here.
French, stay here.
153
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,273
Useless rock guy...
154
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,744
Rock-throwing Rick.
155
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,112
...also stay here.
[ Gun cocks ]
156
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,880
Sometimes you gotta kill a horse
to save a horse.
157
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:25,820
♪♪
158
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,792
[ Gun cocks ]
159
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,832
[ Horse whinnies, gun cocks ]
160
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,141
Aah!
161
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,912
He used my head!
162
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:55,054
Everybody in the posse was
essential, including me!
163
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,821
I'm sorry I doubted you,
Rock-throwing Rick.
164
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,950
You're a hero. I hereby
concede leadership to you.
165
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:02,786
What do we do now,
Sheriff Rock-throwing Rick?
166
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,322
Let's go through
that darn magic thing
167
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:07,627
and save those darn horses
from that darn Black Bart.
168
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:15,330
♪♪
169
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,798
[ Machine beeps ]
170
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,342
[ Babbling ]
171
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,744
Chubbie, don't be crazy.
We can't get out of line.
172
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,676
Man: Purify toxins.
[ Gasps ]
173
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,483
Where...
where am I?
174
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,575
-Oh, yeah!
-I'm cured!
175
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,817
Chubbie, you saved us!
176
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:34,691
[ Machine whirs ]
177
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:37,061
Horse-ificaton process.
178
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,525
[ Bell dings ]
179
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,590
Huh?
Chubbie, you idiot!
180
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,259
You turned us
into horses!
181
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,027
Gimme a break, lady.
182
00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:47,465
Branski: Black Bart,
that bastard.
183
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,670
He's turning these beautiful
creatures into monsters!
184
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,042
What should we do,
Rock-Throwing Rick?
185
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:53,340
Partner, I'm fresh out
of rocks and ideas.
186
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:56,773
But I reckon this here
French has the gumption to
take this darn base down.
187
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,509
Thanks, boss.
If you ask me,
188
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:01,845
we have to gain access
to the ship's mainframe.
And save the horses.
189
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,451
Then set the ship
to self-destruct.
190
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,323
-And save the horses.
-And then save the horses.
191
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:08,687
That's the part I like.
192
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,021
Follow my lead, boys.
193
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,586
I'll follow you
anywhere.
194
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,730
What now,
Sheriff Rock-throwing Rick?
195
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:18,533
Maybe do something
to that shiny thing.
196
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:19,725
Of course!
197
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,996
Who's the leader
of this here posse?
198
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,696
That would be me,
a-and I don't mind telling you,
199
00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,337
I'm darn proud to be.
200
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,342
Me and my boys are here to stop
your horse-thievin' ways,
201
00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:31,614
and if you have somethin' to
say, you need to say it to m--
202
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:36,750
Heaven awaits, boss.
God bless your soul.
203
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:38,723
[ Gun cocks ]
204
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:42,491
I heard about you --
you're supposed to be strong!
205
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,692
I'm strong, but I'm
also strong enough to
know when to be weak.
206
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,685
You trying to confuse me?
I'm the strongest!
207
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:50,027
Ain't nobody stronger
than Black Bart!
208
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:54,900
What the hell
you gonna do with that?
209
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,404
Branski: Shh.
It's gonna be okay.
210
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,566
I'm gonna shoot you!
211
00:08:57,604 --> 00:09:00,374
Whoa!
Nobody's shooting anybody.
212
00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:01,766
[ Horse cooing ]
Hey!
213
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,738
Shh. Does that feel good?
Ohh, it looks good.
214
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:05,606
You are a gorgeous steed.
-Thank you!
215
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,745
Almost done now.
You're special.
Means a lot to me!
216
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:10,751
Self-destruct sequence initiated.
217
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:13,793
Hey, whoa! What?!
How dare you?!
218
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:16,924
Nobody's getting off
this ship alive!
219
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:19,786
And I took your brush!
220
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:30,636
[ Sobbing ]
221
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,800
[ Yells ]
222
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,069
Self-destruct in 30 seconds...
223
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,608
We'll never get out
in time!
224
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,614
Let's go!
Hop on!
225
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:40,976
French, mount my niece!
226
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,314
We're getting out of here
on time --
227
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,278
and most importantly,
saving the horses!
228
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:47,817
[ Alarm blaring ]
229
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,894
French!
Jen and Chubbie are horses!
230
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,722
-Wow! Hah!
-Ow! You mother [Bleep]
231
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,089
[ Gunshots ]
232
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,827
Uncle Mark, you have to --
[ Grunts ]
233
00:09:56,863 --> 00:10:05,273
♪♪
234
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:13,238
That's all of them.
235
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,579
[ Bullet clinks ]
236
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,114
Not all of them.
237
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,020
They got you, Autumn Gold.
-No!
238
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:21,987
Autumn Gold...
239
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,716
...I love you.
240
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:33,327
[ Gunshot ]
241
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,344
Damn, I missed.
242
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:54,024
♪♪
243
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:55,553
-Ow! Ow!
-Ow! Ow!
244
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:59,218
-Aah! Stop it! Stop!
-Ow!
245
00:10:59,258 --> 00:10:59,288
♪♪
17779
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