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1
00:00:10,018 --> 00:00:13,018
[dramatic orchestral music]
2
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:21,000
♪ ♪
3
00:00:23,013 --> 00:00:26,013
[choir vocalizing]
4
00:00:26,014 --> 00:00:33,024
♪ ♪
5
00:00:37,007 --> 00:00:39,007
[car door closes]
6
00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:43,020
- The whole trip is casual,
7
00:00:43,019 --> 00:00:46,019
so let's just do Gucci,
Prada, Tom Brown.
8
00:00:47,001 --> 00:00:49,011
Are you excited to go
to the Caribbean, Owen?
9
00:00:49,014 --> 00:00:51,014
- Of course,
Your Royal Highness.
10
00:00:51,008 --> 00:00:52,998
- You know, this is gonna be
like a vacation
11
00:00:53,002 --> 00:00:54,012
for you, too, O.
12
00:00:54,015 --> 00:00:56,005
I mean, I might ask you for
a picture or two for
Instagram,
13
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:58,024
but other than that,
you're barely gonna see me,
14
00:00:58,018 --> 00:01:00,008
so bring plenty of books.
15
00:01:00,011 --> 00:01:01,021
- I will, sir.
16
00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:04,011
- You could sound
more excited, Jesus.
17
00:01:04,008 --> 00:01:06,008
How many butlers
get to go to Mustique?
18
00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:08,010
Not a lot, that's how many.
19
00:01:08,008 --> 00:01:10,998
- I'm very excited, sir.
- Do you even tan?
20
00:01:11,002 --> 00:01:12,022
What happens to that skin?
21
00:01:12,022 --> 00:01:15,012
Does it just get blotchy or--
never mind.
22
00:01:15,012 --> 00:01:17,012
Why am I asking him questions?
23
00:01:17,014 --> 00:01:20,004
Hey, O, do I have the legs
for this swimsuit?
24
00:01:20,006 --> 00:01:21,016
And don't lie.
25
00:01:21,017 --> 00:01:23,017
- There's nothing
you can't wear, sir.
26
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:25,017
You have a body made
for clothes.
27
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:28,018
- Aw, thanks, O. This is
gonna be such a fun trip.
28
00:01:28,018 --> 00:01:30,008
Too bad your wife
couldn't make it,
29
00:01:30,009 --> 00:01:32,019
you know,
'cause she's dead and all.
30
00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:35,007
You know what? No.
It's better just us anyway.
31
00:01:35,013 --> 00:01:37,023
- I can't believe we get to go
to the Caribbean.
32
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,000
- It's a dream.
33
00:01:39,006 --> 00:01:41,006
It's all a wonderful dream,
Douglas.
34
00:01:41,014 --> 00:01:44,014
- This is going to be the
honeymoon we never had, Greg.
35
00:01:44,008 --> 00:01:46,998
- I know! And I think
it's just what we need.
36
00:01:47,002 --> 00:01:50,002
- Oh, do we need something?
37
00:01:50,004 --> 00:01:52,014
I thought we were happy.
- We are!
38
00:01:52,010 --> 00:01:53,020
That's not at all what I
meant.
I'm just saying--
39
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,000
- Do you still
find me attractive?
40
00:01:56,006 --> 00:01:57,016
- Come here.
41
00:01:58,001 --> 00:02:01,011
- [sobbing]
42
00:02:01,010 --> 00:02:03,010
Shh.
43
00:02:03,007 --> 00:02:05,017
- I'm being so silly.
44
00:02:05,018 --> 00:02:07,018
♪ ♪
45
00:02:08,001 --> 00:02:09,021
- Excuse me.
Yeah, hey.
46
00:02:09,017 --> 00:02:11,017
Are there any of the cashmere
Hermès blankets?
47
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,010
This one is cotton,
and it's slicing my skin.
48
00:02:15,007 --> 00:02:17,007
- I believe those are
the only blankets on board,
49
00:02:17,015 --> 00:02:19,005
Your Royal Highness.
50
00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,018
- This plane fucking sucks.
51
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,010
Go.
Stop looking at me.
52
00:02:28,003 --> 00:02:29,013
- Sluts.
53
00:02:29,011 --> 00:02:31,011
- Wha--
- Sluts.
54
00:02:31,014 --> 00:02:32,024
- Oh.
55
00:02:32,023 --> 00:02:35,013
- Oi! Nuts!
56
00:02:35,007 --> 00:02:36,017
- Right away, sir.
57
00:02:36,019 --> 00:02:39,999
Can you get me some mixed nuts?
- I'm on break.
58
00:02:40,005 --> 00:02:45,005
- [slowly]
Mixed nuts.
59
00:02:45,015 --> 00:02:47,015
- Brilliant.
Thank you, Kevin.
60
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,021
Are they warm?
- Duh.
61
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,010
- So where is it
you're from, again, mate?
62
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:59,008
- Scotland.
63
00:02:59,008 --> 00:03:00,018
- Got it.
64
00:03:00,018 --> 00:03:03,018
- I can't wait to see you
in that bikini, darling.
65
00:03:03,020 --> 00:03:08,010
Yes, all anybody is going to be
talking about is your figure.
66
00:03:08,008 --> 00:03:10,008
- [coughs]
Blech.
67
00:03:10,008 --> 00:03:11,018
[retches]
68
00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:14,001
- Is there anything you need,
Your Royal Highness?
69
00:03:14,004 --> 00:03:16,014
- Yeah, an airsick bag.
70
00:03:16,008 --> 00:03:18,018
You having fun back there
with your little friends?
71
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:21,000
I guess this is like
Spring Break for you people.
72
00:03:21,004 --> 00:03:23,024
- Just wanted to make sure you
have everything you need, sir.
73
00:03:23,022 --> 00:03:25,012
- Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah.
74
00:03:25,009 --> 00:03:27,009
Remember, this is
your vacation, too, Owen,
75
00:03:27,012 --> 00:03:29,002
so just have fun, okay?
76
00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:30,022
Really, don't worry about me.
77
00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:32,021
- That's very kind, sir.
78
00:03:32,022 --> 00:03:34,002
- Actually, O, before you go,
79
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,015
get a pic of me
in my seat here.
80
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,000
I'll pretend I'm looking out
at the clouds.
81
00:03:38,004 --> 00:03:41,004
[camera shutter clicks]
Ugh.
82
00:03:41,005 --> 00:03:42,015
You didn't use portrait mode?
83
00:03:42,018 --> 00:03:43,018
Never mind.
84
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:44,022
It's fine. It's fine.
85
00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:46,021
Plane photos are passé, anyway.
86
00:03:46,019 --> 00:03:48,009
All I need from you this trip
87
00:03:48,008 --> 00:03:50,008
is one perfect Instagram, O.
88
00:03:50,008 --> 00:03:51,008
Got it?
89
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,023
Now get back in economy.
90
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:56,011
- So, after we arrive,
91
00:03:56,007 --> 00:03:57,017
do you think
we could possibly--
92
00:03:57,021 --> 00:03:59,021
- No.
- Well, what about--
93
00:03:59,017 --> 00:04:01,007
- No.
- Or even--
94
00:04:01,013 --> 00:04:03,003
- No.
- Right.
95
00:04:03,003 --> 00:04:05,023
Well, lovely chatting.
96
00:04:05,023 --> 00:04:08,013
- He's not giving
that one a rose?
97
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,024
- Nope.
98
00:04:09,017 --> 00:04:12,007
- But he just fucked her.
99
00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:18,020
♪ ♪
100
00:04:18,020 --> 00:04:20,010
- Welcome, Your Majesty.
101
00:04:20,015 --> 00:04:21,995
- [belches loudly]
102
00:04:22,005 --> 00:04:24,005
Excuse me. Thanks.
103
00:04:24,012 --> 00:04:27,002
[waves crashing]
104
00:04:28,022 --> 00:04:31,012
- Your Majesty.
- Yum.
105
00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:36,010
Is there anything more beachy
than thick, rare roast beef?
106
00:04:36,007 --> 00:04:38,017
- Camilla in a bikini
comes to mind.
107
00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:40,011
- We're eating!
108
00:04:40,014 --> 00:04:42,004
- Has anybody seen Owen?
109
00:04:42,006 --> 00:04:44,016
"Owen, comma, where the fuck
are you, question mark,
110
00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:46,018
question mark, question mark."
111
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:49,019
- [grunting]
112
00:04:50,001 --> 00:04:51,011
- Hello, all. Sorry we're late.
113
00:04:51,016 --> 00:04:53,996
Our flight was delayed--
you know, JetBlue.
114
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,002
- We don't know.
Gross.
115
00:04:56,003 --> 00:04:58,023
- It was Mint, though.
Tell them, we were in Mint.
116
00:04:58,021 --> 00:05:03,021
- Oh, they gave you a mint.
How lovely for you.
117
00:05:03,017 --> 00:05:06,007
I have some gum in my purse
if you'd like.
118
00:05:06,007 --> 00:05:07,017
- No, we were in Mint.
119
00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:09,007
It's like their business
class.
It's really nice.
120
00:05:09,007 --> 00:05:10,017
They give you
these cookies and--
121
00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:14,007
- Meghan, I'm begging you
to stop now.
122
00:05:14,007 --> 00:05:16,017
- And then people kept wanting
to get a picture.
123
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:19,007
You know, because I'm on "Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills."
124
00:05:19,011 --> 00:05:21,011
So a lot of people
coming up to us.
125
00:05:21,009 --> 00:05:22,019
- Uh-huh.
126
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,022
- There was something you
needed, Your Royal Highness?
127
00:05:24,020 --> 00:05:26,010
- Yeah, my fucking butler.
128
00:05:26,007 --> 00:05:29,007
I'm sitting here cutting
my own meat like an animal.
129
00:05:29,016 --> 00:05:30,016
Ugh, not now, not now.
130
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,020
- Do you want
a picture here, sir?
131
00:05:32,017 --> 00:05:34,017
I'll do it
in portrait mode this time.
132
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:37,010
- Do I want a picture of me
eating roast beef?
133
00:05:37,012 --> 00:05:39,002
No, you idiot.
Later.
134
00:05:39,002 --> 00:05:42,022
- Children, would you like
to go play in the sand?
135
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:44,017
- Wait, are you-
are you talking to me?
136
00:05:44,018 --> 00:05:46,008
Is she talking to me?
137
00:05:46,010 --> 00:05:48,020
- Go play with them, William.
- You play with them.
138
00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:51,010
- Oh, and I brought some
of my homemade ketchup.
139
00:05:51,015 --> 00:05:53,005
I'm coming out
with a line of condiments--
140
00:05:53,009 --> 00:05:54,999
ketchups, mustards,
that sort of thing.
141
00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:57,014
- We're really taking LA
by storm.
142
00:05:57,012 --> 00:05:59,022
- Yeah, and the show has been
a great platform
143
00:05:59,017 --> 00:06:00,997
to help me promote my brand.
144
00:06:01,004 --> 00:06:04,014
- It's already a brand.
It's called Heinz.
145
00:06:06,004 --> 00:06:09,004
- Oh, fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
146
00:06:15,012 --> 00:06:17,022
There, good as new.
147
00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:27,021
- All it would take
is one giant wave.
148
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,010
- I was thinking
the same thing.
149
00:06:30,009 --> 00:06:31,019
You okay, Kevin?
150
00:06:31,021 --> 00:06:35,011
- Water.
151
00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:39,020
Beautiful.
152
00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:42,011
- Careful, you're
starting to burn.
153
00:06:42,009 --> 00:06:44,019
- Isn't he always that color?
154
00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:47,021
- Watch and learn here.
[grunting]
155
00:06:47,018 --> 00:06:51,018
On the head. Off the--
On the--bing, bang!
156
00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:54,010
Oi, Georgie!
Football!
157
00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:57,013
- No, I don't want to.
Get away from me with that.
158
00:06:57,009 --> 00:07:00,009
- Ready? Ready? Ready? Go on.
To me!
159
00:07:00,010 --> 00:07:02,010
- I said knock it off
with that.
160
00:07:02,012 --> 00:07:04,022
- Yes, I told you.
I'm working on it.
161
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,000
Hi, George.
162
00:07:06,005 --> 00:07:08,015
- Hey. Why do you have
two cell phones?
163
00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:11,001
- It's a toy
for little girls. See?
164
00:07:11,003 --> 00:07:14,013
- Okay, whatever.
[camera shutter clicks]
165
00:07:14,014 --> 00:07:16,014
Great.
You ruined it.
166
00:07:16,008 --> 00:07:18,018
Oof!
I said knock it off!
167
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,000
- Look, we have to be careful.
168
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,006
George is starting
to get suspicious.
169
00:07:22,013 --> 00:07:25,023
I don't know! I guess he's not
as fucking dumb as he looks.
170
00:07:25,023 --> 00:07:29,013
Oh, the weather has been great.
Thanks, yeah.
171
00:07:29,010 --> 00:07:32,010
- So all you'd have to do
is Instagram yourselves
172
00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:34,010
using my ketchup--
it'd be a huge help.
173
00:07:34,014 --> 00:07:36,004
- I see.
174
00:07:36,002 --> 00:07:38,022
Well, that's something
we'll definitely think about.
175
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,021
- Who's that?
- That's your nephew, Archie.
176
00:07:42,001 --> 00:07:45,021
- You're pulling my leg.
Why have we not met before?
177
00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:48,021
- You've met him, like,
a thousand times.
178
00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:51,020
So are you gonna do
the fucking Instagram or not?
179
00:07:53,019 --> 00:07:56,009
- Is the pressure okay?
- It's great.
180
00:07:56,007 --> 00:07:58,007
- Great.
181
00:07:58,014 --> 00:08:00,014
So what do you do for work?
182
00:08:00,008 --> 00:08:02,018
- I really don't want to talk,
if that's okay.
183
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,010
- Right.
184
00:08:05,011 --> 00:08:08,011
I just figured
since it's a beach massage.
185
00:08:08,015 --> 00:08:10,995
- Camilla, are you going
to take that robe off
186
00:08:11,004 --> 00:08:13,014
and show Mummy your figure?
187
00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:15,000
Yes, darling.
188
00:08:15,003 --> 00:08:18,013
Mummy, doesn't Camilla look
like a Victoria's Secret model?
189
00:08:18,012 --> 00:08:22,012
- If Victoria's secret is that
she's an old cow, then, yes.
190
00:08:22,016 --> 00:08:23,996
- [laughs]
191
00:08:24,006 --> 00:08:27,006
- That's not--
That's not her secret.
192
00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:43,006
We might need to start feeding
these people more.
193
00:08:44,015 --> 00:08:47,015
- When did "Vanity Fair"
become such a piece of shit?
194
00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:49,010
You know, you don't have
to stand there
195
00:08:49,016 --> 00:08:50,016
with that umbrella, O.
196
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,020
You can go for a swim
or something. I'm good.
197
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,020
- But then you would get
sunburned, sir.
198
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:57,010
- Oh, no, it's fine.
I only get golden brown.
199
00:08:57,009 --> 00:08:59,999
I don't have the complexion
of a 65-year-old alcoholic
200
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,006
who's been outside twice.
201
00:09:01,013 --> 00:09:05,003
- If you're
absolutely certain, sir.
202
00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:07,014
Water does look nice, sir.
203
00:09:07,008 --> 00:09:08,998
I've never been in the ocean.
204
00:09:09,004 --> 00:09:11,024
I'm not quite sure
I even know how to swim.
205
00:09:11,019 --> 00:09:13,019
- Really?
Aw, that stinks.
206
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,020
In that case, you can take
more pictures of me.
207
00:09:16,001 --> 00:09:18,011
I really need a good one
for Instagram.
208
00:09:18,011 --> 00:09:20,021
If no one knows
I went to Mustique, it's like,
209
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:22,010
why did I even go, you know?
210
00:09:22,013 --> 00:09:25,013
- Absolutely, sir.
- Oh, get a few of me here.
211
00:09:25,016 --> 00:09:28,006
[camera shutter clicking]
212
00:09:29,017 --> 00:09:31,017
Ugh.
None of these are usable.
213
00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:34,001
Do it again.
214
00:09:34,002 --> 00:09:36,012
Well, it would be nice if you
gave me a little direction.
215
00:09:36,016 --> 00:09:38,016
What do I do?
Where do I move? Hello!
216
00:09:38,017 --> 00:09:40,017
- Of course, sir.
Uh, turn this way.
217
00:09:40,021 --> 00:09:42,001
- Sunglasses on or off?
218
00:09:42,005 --> 00:09:43,995
- Let's try it
with them on, sir.
219
00:09:46,009 --> 00:09:49,009
- Mom, tell Louis stop.
220
00:09:49,007 --> 00:09:52,007
- [crunching]
221
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,021
- Pringle?
- No.
222
00:09:57,018 --> 00:09:59,018
- [crunching]
223
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:03,001
- I'm making it official.
I hate him.
224
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:06,003
- So are we still considering
this our honeymoon?
225
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,006
- Once of Prince Philip's balls
226
00:10:07,015 --> 00:10:09,005
got caught
in the bathtub drain!
227
00:10:09,012 --> 00:10:12,022
I need someone right now!
228
00:10:12,022 --> 00:10:14,002
- No.
229
00:10:14,005 --> 00:10:16,005
[sighs]
230
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,007
♪ ♪
231
00:10:19,011 --> 00:10:20,021
- So, yeah, we're hoping
232
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,010
the ketchups and mustards
are gonna be sold
233
00:10:22,014 --> 00:10:24,004
at Whole Foods,
which, you know, would be huge.
234
00:10:24,006 --> 00:10:26,016
Oh, and they're all organic,
in case anyone was wondering.
235
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:29,000
- We weren't.
- [laughs]
236
00:10:29,005 --> 00:10:30,015
- That's two today.
237
00:10:30,018 --> 00:10:33,018
How are your balls?
Good.
238
00:10:33,017 --> 00:10:34,997
- Ow.
239
00:10:35,006 --> 00:10:36,016
Sorry.
240
00:10:36,023 --> 00:10:39,013
Ow. Ow.
241
00:10:39,012 --> 00:10:42,022
- Oh, Harry, I just found out
you had a son.
242
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,020
Congratulations, old man.
243
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,009
- Daughter, but thank you.
244
00:10:46,007 --> 00:10:49,007
- Son,
and you didn't just find out.
245
00:10:49,011 --> 00:10:51,021
[sighs] Is it me?
- No.
246
00:10:51,022 --> 00:10:54,012
- Anyway,
I was saying I had a sunburn.
247
00:10:54,012 --> 00:10:57,012
Ow. That's why I look
like a monster.
248
00:10:57,014 --> 00:11:01,024
Oh, sorry. Not that you look
like a monster.
249
00:11:01,023 --> 00:11:04,023
Oh, God, I never know
what to say to him.
250
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,010
- Just a heads-up--
251
00:11:06,011 --> 00:11:08,011
Camilla had a bit
of a mishap earlier today.
252
00:11:08,016 --> 00:11:10,006
They all understand, darling.
253
00:11:10,009 --> 00:11:12,009
There might be
some unfortunately,
254
00:11:12,016 --> 00:11:15,016
well, racy photos
appearing online later.
255
00:11:15,023 --> 00:11:18,023
Oh, and if anyone found
a bikini top in the water,
256
00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:20,000
it belongs to Camilla.
257
00:11:20,004 --> 00:11:24,024
- I thought that was two
fishing nets.
258
00:11:24,021 --> 00:11:26,011
Sorry.
259
00:11:27,013 --> 00:11:30,003
- I knew it was a boy.
I just forgot.
260
00:11:30,002 --> 00:11:32,022
- Please just let me be
annoyed.
261
00:11:32,021 --> 00:11:34,011
♪ ♪
262
00:11:35,023 --> 00:11:39,003
- There's barely anything
to work with here.
263
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:41,012
They're all fucking blurry.
Do you have tremors?
264
00:11:41,012 --> 00:11:43,012
- I apologize,
Your Royal Highness.
265
00:11:43,011 --> 00:11:45,011
I am a very poor photographer.
266
00:11:45,016 --> 00:11:46,996
- Yeah, you are.
267
00:11:47,002 --> 00:11:50,002
Does my face
look as bad as I think, O?
268
00:11:50,005 --> 00:11:51,005
- Not at all.
269
00:11:51,012 --> 00:11:53,012
Why, I think it makes
you look rugged, sir.
270
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:56,013
- Like Chris Hemsworth?
- Sure.
271
00:11:56,009 --> 00:11:57,019
- Thanks, O.
272
00:11:57,021 --> 00:11:59,021
I know you wouldn't say it
if you didn't mean it.
273
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:02,021
Help me get ready for bed.
274
00:12:02,017 --> 00:12:03,017
Ow.
275
00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:06,001
- I'm sorry you didn't get
276
00:12:06,005 --> 00:12:08,005
your perfect
vacation Instagram, sir.
277
00:12:08,015 --> 00:12:10,015
- Oh, I just posted something.
278
00:12:12,010 --> 00:12:13,020
- Oh, I'm in that.
279
00:12:13,022 --> 00:12:16,012
- Yeah, it's cute.
It's very us.
280
00:12:16,007 --> 00:12:17,007
- Very us, sir.
281
00:12:17,013 --> 00:12:18,023
- Ooh, it's doing well.
282
00:12:18,018 --> 00:12:20,018
Dame Kelly Ripa
already liked it.
283
00:12:20,022 --> 00:12:24,002
- Well, good night, sir.
284
00:12:24,003 --> 00:12:26,013
- Would you stay
until I fall asleep?
285
00:12:26,009 --> 00:12:27,999
- Of course.
286
00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:35,011
Sir, I think you
forgot to tag me?
287
00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:36,010
- I didn't.
20536
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