Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:04,073
Now, remember to look
your parole officer in the eye.
2
00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:07,517
Right. I don't wanna be a cat
for the next 75 years.
3
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,478
You'll do fine.
And we're all pulling for you.
4
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,439
That helps. How's my breath?
5
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,794
Fresh but not medicine-y.
6
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,599
You'd better go.
You don't wanna be late.
7
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,514
- Wish me luck.
- Good luck.
8
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,719
- Nice to see you again, Salem.
- It's nice to see you, Mr. Grey.
9
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,112
And may I say you're looking trim.
Have you lost weight?
10
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,272
Don't push it.
11
00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:33,195
Okay, I've been reviewing your file
and I'm pleased with your progress.
12
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,192
- Enjoying your life as a cat?
- Yes.
13
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,033
- Any urinary tract problems?
- No.
14
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,793
- Giving back to the community?
- Yes.
15
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,474
- Gotten any strays in trouble?
- No.
16
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,030
- Still want to take over the world?
- Yes.
17
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,510
Wait, no. I meant, no. No.
18
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,000
[SOBBING]
19
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:53,000
- How'd it go?
SALEM: Don't ask.
20
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,477
Which way to Swan Lake?
21
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,629
What do you think, Salem?
22
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,553
Does this look like a cross-section
of a cell?
23
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,792
Looks like you cut a Styrofoam ball
in half and painted on it.
24
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,314
I did.
25
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,073
But what do you know
about biology anyway?
26
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,230
[DOORBELL RINGING]
27
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,959
I'll get it.
28
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,473
Afternoon, miss.
You the lady of the house?
29
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:36,915
I'm one of them. Can I help you?
30
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,470
Question is, can I help you?
Allow me to introduce myself.
31
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,438
I'm Linus J. Skeezics,
Quality Witchware.
32
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,160
- You're selling something, aren't you?
- Only the finest
33
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,438
and most enchanting enchanted
items you'll find in any realm.
34
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,593
Might I interest you
in some snake oil?
35
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,672
- What does it do?
- What do you want it to do?
36
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,480
Just kidding. It's guaranteed to keep
your snakes slick, slippery
37
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,200
- and completely squeak-free.
- We don't have any squeaky snakes.
38
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,239
Well, then, perhaps you'd like
the Encyclopaedia Micronica.
39
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,279
Well, it's kind of hard to read.
40
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,000
Well, that's why I also sell
Giganto-Glasses.
41
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,231
Here, put them on.
42
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,713
- Every word is six feet tall.
- Wow, that's a big "M."
43
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,839
ZELDA: Sabrina, who's at the closet?
- It's a salesman.
44
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,391
Why, who is this lovely lady? I bet
you have to beat them off with a stick.
45
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:24,759
And I have just the thing for that.
The Amaze-o-stick.
46
00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:26,718
We are not interested.
47
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,360
Well, then, how about
a Tomorrow Ball?
48
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,318
Ask it any question,
see your tomorrow today.
49
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,120
- Hey, I could really use that.
- No, thank you.
50
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,273
We don't need your Tomorrow Balls,
or your Amaze-o-sticks
51
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,433
or any of your other fine products.
Now, goodbye.
52
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,796
Ninety years. Same as cash.
53
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,469
What did you do that for?
54
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,838
Sabrina, don't be taken in by those
cheap magic tricks. They never work.
55
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,434
But he made that ball sound so cool.
56
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,559
The best way to see tomorrow
is by going to bed tonight.
57
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,555
I can't, until I finish
my biology project.
58
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,916
Then I suggest you work on that.
59
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,714
- How much for the Tomorrow Ball?
- Five hundred coin of the realm.
60
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,439
- Or three bucks American.
- Deal.
61
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,273
Pleasure doing business with you.
62
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,479
There's one in every house.
63
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,475
What have you got there?
64
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,836
A Tomorrow Ball.
Let's see if it works.
65
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,674
Oh, Tomorrow Ball, what grade
will I get on my project?
66
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,751
A-minus.
67
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,991
A-minus, good enough.
68
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,392
But why is Mr. Pool wearing
a Catholic schoolgirl's uniform?
69
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:37,112
Huh. I've seen the future,
but I don't understand it.
70
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,515
- Hey, Sabrina.
- Hey.
71
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,672
- What's that?
- My science project.
72
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,194
- Whoops.
- What's that supposed to mean?
73
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,272
Uh, my books are slipping.
74
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:46,920
Check it out. I got the tickets.
75
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,152
Smashing Pumpkins tonight. Our lives
are 12 hours from being perfect.
76
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,073
- Did you hook me up?
- You know it.
77
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,551
I thought your parents said no more
concerts after the Metallica incident.
78
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,677
Yeah, they think they're forcing me
to stay in,
79
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,991
but really they're just forcing me
to sneak out.
80
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,152
You're gonna sneak out?
What if you get caught?
81
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,950
They'll ground me. But it's okay. I don't
have anything to do next weekend.
82
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,958
[STUDENT WHISTLES]
83
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,152
Mr. Pool's got legs.
84
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,710
- Now I understand.
- You do?
85
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,712
Then explain it to me.
86
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,473
Thank you for your projects.
87
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:21,919
Now, I'm sure you're all curious about
my duds. It's Scottish Pride Day.
88
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,039
Now, have ye any questions
about Scotland?
89
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,792
- Okay, then, back to science.
- I have a question.
90
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,191
- Yes?
- Who are some famous Scotsmen?
91
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:35,036
Well, there's William Wallace,
you know him as Mel Gibson.
92
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,795
Mary, Queen of Scots,
no big surprise there.
93
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,840
And Dr. Ian Wilmut,
the guy that cloned the sheep.
94
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,195
Any other questions?
95
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,670
Uh, can you do one of those jigs?
96
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:48,878
A jig?
Please, that's a silly Irish dance.
97
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,919
We Scots do the Highland Fling.
98
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,239
- What's going on here?
- The principal.
99
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:05,316
- I thought this was a science class.
- It's Scottish, uh, Pride Day.
100
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,472
I don't care if it's
Dress Like Aunt Sally Day.
101
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,871
This is inappropriate behaviour
for a biology teacher.
102
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,077
I want you in my office after school.
103
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,675
- And no more dancing.
- Yes, sir.
104
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,194
Hey, kids, nice to see you.
105
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,393
I'm French, but do you see me wearing
a beret and dancing the cancan?
106
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,074
- No.
- That's right.
107
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,913
See you tomorrow.
108
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,560
And put on some slacks.
109
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,915
Don't worry, Mr. Pool.
I like your purse.
110
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,753
It's a sporran.
111
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,957
Do you have a minute?
I need to talk to you.
112
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,713
Have a seat.
113
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,075
It's about your cell project.
114
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,119
Let me guess, A-minus, right? I know
I could have knocked myself out
115
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:40,396
and gone for an A, but--
116
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:41,789
- You got a C.
- What?
117
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,395
This is not the kind of work
I'm used to seeing from you.
118
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,190
Look, you left out the mitochondria.
It's the powerhouse of the cell.
119
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,238
I didn't mean to.
120
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,914
I don't believe this.
121
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,675
You know, tomorrow looked
a lot better yesterday.
122
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:57,480
Why don't you try it again?
Take the weekend and do it over.
123
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,315
Thank you, Mr. Pool.
124
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,154
I totally, completely,
really, really appreciate this.
125
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,471
ZELDA:
Balls, balls, balls.
126
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,518
What's going on?
It sounds really interesting.
127
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,669
Oh, that's all?
128
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:11,514
I can't find my tennis racket.
Have you seen it?
129
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,991
No, but you can borrow mine.
If you promise to give it back.
130
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,150
I will.
131
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,595
I keep it in the piano bench.
132
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,592
- Here.
- Thanks.
133
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,160
Wait.
134
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,319
This is my tennis racquet.
135
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:27,234
- No, it's not.
- Then why is there a Z on it?
136
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,231
Because I once lost a set to Zorro?
137
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,629
I am sick of this.
138
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,679
For centuries you've been taking
my things and you never return them.
139
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,355
- What haven't I returned?
- Let's see.
140
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:42,280
"Crossbow, juggling clubs,
Ming candy dish."
141
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,909
- You kept a list?
- Since 1542.
142
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,072
Let me see that.
143
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,556
"Shepherd's crook, cotton gin."
144
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,518
I have no idea
where any of this stuff is.
145
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,911
Well, I suggest you find it
because I want it all back.
146
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,275
That is so like you.
147
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,990
How many centuries can you go on
being irresponsible and inconsiderate?
148
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,280
You're lucky Sabrina's home.
149
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,796
I thought magic was supposed
to make my life easier.
150
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:06,950
HILDA:
What happened?
151
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,713
The Tomorrow Ball's a big fat liar.
152
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,918
You bought a Tomorrow Ball?
I warned you about those.
153
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,799
Yeah, yeah,
you're always warning me.
154
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:18,034
Anyway, it told me I was gonna get
an A-minus on my science project.
155
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,475
And what did you get?
156
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:20,756
A C.
157
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:21,990
Sabrina.
158
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,152
But don't panic.
Mr. Pool gave me another chance.
159
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,040
- So I'll work on it all day tomorrow.
- What's wrong with right now?
160
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,272
I have to get ready
for the Smashing Pumpkins concert.
161
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,519
What?
162
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,639
You're not going to a concert.
163
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,031
You showed poor judgement
in trusting that Tomorrow Ball.
164
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,316
That was a major mistake.
165
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,995
But I told you all about it.
Don't I get points for that?
166
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,232
Yes, which is why we're grounding you
for just one weekend.
167
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,914
I don't believe this.
I'm missing the Smashing Pumpkins.
168
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:55,232
- Bummer T. Jones, the third.
- It's not fair.
169
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:56,993
I was set up by a novelty item.
170
00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:02,400
Lousy, cheap, magic oracle piece
of enchanting garbage.
171
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,036
Vacuum cleaner.
172
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,873
The flying vacuum cleaner.
173
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,030
[SALEM SNIFFS]
174
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,520
Is that a plan I smell?
175
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,593
Maybe. I mean, what's worse,
sneaking out of the house
176
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,956
or letting row double J,
seat 126, go to waste?
177
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,952
I think we both know
the answer to that.
178
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,237
I'll be downstairs creating
a distraction.
179
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:21,989
Set it on whisper.
180
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,835
Okay, got my ticket.
181
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,037
I'll take my chances.
182
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,715
No risk, no rock.
183
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,710
Whoo-hoo!
184
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,960
Billy Corgan, here I come.
185
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,077
[SIREN WAILING]
186
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,157
Pull your vehicle over.
187
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,598
Oh, no.
188
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,119
I said, pull your vehicle over.
189
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:58,634
What do I do?
190
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,031
I'm in so much trouble.
191
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,240
Does this belong to you?
192
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,914
Sabrina, what's going on?
193
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,279
I caught her over Brookline, flying
with a full bag and trailing a lot of dust.
194
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,432
That warrants an emissions citation,
195
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,320
but when I attempted to pull her over,
she took off.
196
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,233
I was looking for a well-lit area.
197
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,234
We thought you were upstairs
doing your science homework.
198
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,993
I was.
199
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,356
Until I wasn't.
200
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,830
Well, I'll let you go
with a warning this time.
201
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,195
But be careful.
202
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:37,240
There's a lot of sad stories out there
in the dark night sky.
203
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,754
Consider me warned.
204
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,149
Thank you, officer.
205
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,358
Good night. And fly safe.
206
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,552
- Hi.
- Sabrina,
207
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,280
- I think you owe us an explanation.
- What were you thinking?
208
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,557
I don't know.
209
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,474
I feel so low.
210
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,674
What's happening?
What are you doing?
211
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,719
- It's not us.
- You're small because you feel small.
212
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,439
How do I get big again?
213
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,512
You won't, until you feel better
about yourself.
214
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,354
Now, why don't you go to your room
and think about what you've done?
215
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,830
Okay, but could you help me?
216
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,879
It'll take me days to get up the stairs.
217
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,757
- Gentle, Aunt Zelda.
ZELDA: There you go.
218
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,037
Right next to your science project.
219
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,078
I'm really sorry about what I did.
220
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,119
We know. We'll discuss it later.
221
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,360
What a huge mistake.
222
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,560
[SNIFFLES]
223
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,318
Sabrina, can we come in?
224
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:53,713
- Oh, no. She's gone again.
SABRINA: No, I'm not. I'm on the bed.
225
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,314
Oh, how'd you get over here?
226
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,638
SABRINA:
Salem carried me in his mouth.
227
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,156
It took all my self-control
not to eat her.
228
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:02,000
You're still small.
229
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,117
We thought you'd be feeling
bigger by now.
230
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,555
No.
231
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,633
I think I'm gonna be 6 inches tall
for the rest of my life.
232
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,315
You know, it's not a good idea
to go to bed tiny.
233
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:12,675
But I really messed up.
234
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,071
The important thing is that you learn
from your mistakes.
235
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,596
- We all make them.
- Except Zelda. She's perfect.
236
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,433
Even I make mistakes.
237
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,080
Although it's been a while.
238
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:23,800
Hey, maybe you guys could tell me
about some of your mess-ups.
239
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,360
It might make me feel better.
240
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:26,590
Oh, me first.
241
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:30,754
Let me tell you how I went from man
to cat in one dumb move.
242
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:35,039
Our first plan of attack
is to take Madagascar.
243
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,510
It works in Risk, it'll work for us.
244
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:38,670
Cream and sugar?
245
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,196
- Can we focus?
- Sorry.
246
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,110
Follow me. And I promise
247
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:49,196
I will be the most benevolent dictator
the world has ever seen.
248
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,352
Did I say dictator? I meant leader.
249
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,759
The time is now. Witch power.
250
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:58,560
Witch power. Witch power.
251
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,076
Oh no, the witch fuzz. We're busted.
252
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,469
OFFICER:
Party's over, Salem.
253
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,950
You're under arrest for conspiracy
to dominate the world.
254
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,793
SALEM:
But we're a non-profit organization.
255
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,158
We meet to discuss
new ways of thinking.
256
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:14,670
So I was sentenced to
a hundred years behind whiskers.
257
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,560
- At least you have a nice home.
- Rent free, I might add.
258
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,473
So how did you guys
end up with Salem?
259
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,474
That's Hilda's fault. I mean, story.
260
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,996
Forgive me.
I was young and idealistic
261
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,277
and I thought
Salem might actually pull it off.
262
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,557
- You were one of his followers?
- Yes.
263
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,518
I was on the refreshment
committee.
264
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,514
So they turned Salem into a cat,
but how were you punished?
265
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,195
I have to keep him worm-free
for a century.
266
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,074
Whoa. You know
what just dawned on me?
267
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,800
You guys had lives before I got here.
268
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,955
This is amazing.
We have a lot of catching up to do.
269
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,793
So were you ever kids?
270
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:51,271
Yes. Although it was back
in the 14th century.
271
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,875
There were no phones, no TVs.
272
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,271
Things were very different.
273
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,238
Behold the abacus.
274
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,279
- Behold the "blab-acus."
- Quiet.
275
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,716
- Why are we doing this?
- To enlighten the masses.
276
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:08,320
The abacus is a modern instrument
for performing arithmetic calculations
277
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,632
developed by the greatest scientific
minds of the Orient. Cut it out.
278
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,314
I wasn't doing anything.
279
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,119
You always go for the cheap laugh.
280
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,839
I do not.
281
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,913
I am sick of your pathetic attempts
to try and get attention.
282
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,117
Now can I get back to the abacus?
283
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,520
Each lower bead equals one.
284
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,637
Each upper bead equals five.
285
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,031
Can I see that? My abacus.
286
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,793
No, it's mine, it's mine.
287
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,952
She always takes my stuff.
288
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,909
In retrospect,
things weren't really different at all.
289
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,432
Where is the list?
I wanna put "abacus" on it.
290
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:41,716
This is so much fun.
291
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,634
Tell me more. Have you always been
a musician and a scientist?
292
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,917
No. I bounced from job to job
for centuries.
293
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,834
It took me awhile to figure out
what I wanted to do to.
294
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,151
So, what was the worst job
you ever had?
295
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,950
Hard to say. Blacksmith,
donkey walker.
296
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,919
Oh, I'd have to go with
deep-sea fisherman.
297
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,118
Halibut ho! Hard to starboard.
298
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,999
The other starboard, kelp-head.
299
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,516
It was awful.
300
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:13,117
Chapped lips, salt water,
bad combination.
301
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,590
It's your turn, Aunt Zelda.
What was your worst job?
302
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,991
I think it was back
when I lived in Wales
303
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,471
and I tried my hand at coal mining.
304
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,634
I told you if we went deep enough
we'd find a seam, Bynnik.
305
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:26,995
How you doing, Chirpy?
306
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,955
Chirpy? Canary's dead.
307
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,636
Let's get out of here.
Oh push, Arfon, push.
308
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,276
I still can't get my fingernails clean.
309
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,193
Zelda, I thought you said
your worst job was--
310
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,589
Let's not bring that up.
311
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,831
Yes, let's. Please, let's.
What did you do?
312
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,959
It was the one time
Hilda and I worked together.
313
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,670
The West was still wild and there
were only two ways to make money:
314
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,991
law enforcement
315
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,311
and show biz.
316
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:02,555
Thank you, thank you for that warm
Buzzard Gulch welcome.
317
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,150
Enough patter.
318
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:10,198
Our first number
is one of our favourite songs.
319
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,511
And we hope you like it too.
320
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,671
[SINGING] Oh, I come from Alabama
With a banjo on my knee
321
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:23,551
Oh, I'm going to Louisiana
My true love for to see
322
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:28,795
Oh, Susanna
Oh, don't you cry for me
323
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,474
They hate us.
324
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,630
We made two bits that night.
325
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,792
And then they ran us out of town.
326
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,953
Fortunately, we figured out the secret
to financial security.
327
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,158
- What secret?
- Should we let her in on it?
328
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,198
The secret is junk.
329
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,080
Hold on to anything long enough
and it'll become valuable.
330
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,675
We just sold our old pewter dishes
to the Smithsonian
331
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,399
for an obscene amount of money.
332
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,598
And you know what's gonna keep us
in cruises during our golden years?
333
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,638
Plaid thermoses in mint condition.
334
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,275
Okay, we've covered jobs, money.
335
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,319
Now let's get to the good stuff,
your love lives.
336
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:07,554
All right. But first, Salem, out.
337
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,473
Fine. I'll leave you girls alone.
338
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:10,790
I have to use the box anyway.
339
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,520
Okay, so how old were you
when you had your first kiss?
340
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,400
- Sixteen.
- Forty-eight.
341
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,199
And have either of you
ever been married?
342
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:23,434
- Sabrina, that might not be the best--
- It's all right. I can talk about it.
343
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,751
As you know,
I was engaged to Drell.
344
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,513
The wedding was all planned.
345
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:32,914
I had the Acropolis, a maid of honour,
a fantastic caterer.
346
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,278
The only thing I didn't have was Drell.
347
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,192
- He's five minutes late.
- He'll be here.
348
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:48,199
- He's an hour late.
- He'll be here.
349
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,040
It's getting cold.
350
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,078
All right. Let's go.
351
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:58,200
- Hilda, I'm sorry.
- Don't be. I'm fine.
352
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:06,674
So that's why it's in ruins.
353
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,991
Fortunately,
history has blamed the Turks.
354
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,959
And how about you, Aunt Zelda?
Have you ever been married?
355
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,634
Never. She's too picky.
356
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,951
Actually, I have.
357
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,157
What? When?
358
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,960
- Why didn't I know about this?
- I don't tell you everything.
359
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,440
Tell me, tell me.
360
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,832
I was living in Florence during
the Renaissance
361
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,953
- and I met a guy.
- Benvolio?
362
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:29,600
In the flesh.
363
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:33,117
- What are you doing here?
- I cannot stay away from thee, Zelda.
364
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,680
Oh, I missed thee too.
365
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:38,629
But what if someone see us?
My father does not like thee much.
366
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:39,790
Is he near?
367
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,395
Nay, he tarries at the bear baiting.
368
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:47,430
Odds bodkins, I'm in luck.
I wrote a song for thee. Shall I strum?
369
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,193
Prithee.
370
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:53,115
[SINGING]
Alas, my love, you do me wrong
371
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,591
To cast me out discourteously
372
00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,231
When I have loved you so long
373
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,155
Delighting in your company
374
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,677
Greensleeves is all my joy
375
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:13,552
And who but my lady Greensleeves
376
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,910
Work in progress.
377
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,719
Benvolio, I love it.
378
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,553
Well, you wore
green sleeves yesterday.
379
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,236
It is beautiful.
380
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,153
Oh, beauty pales in your wake.
381
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:29,079
- Marry me.
- Oh, thou playest me like a lute.
382
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,719
Yea, I will marry you.
383
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,839
Huzzah. Come, I know a chapel
in a field of myrrh.
384
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,320
They're open all night.
385
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,233
This is crazy.
386
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:42,557
It lasted three days. Musicians.
387
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,280
I can't believe you never told me
about Benvolio.
388
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,194
- It wasn't that big a deal.
- Not a big deal?
389
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,159
It means you made a mistake.
You're not perfect.
390
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,312
This is the greatest night of my life.
391
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,631
I'll get the camera.
392
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,951
Maybe we should let Sabrina
get some sleep.
393
00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,713
No, I want to ask more questions.
394
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,394
All right. One more.
395
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,597
Okay. It should be important.
396
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:08,835
Did you guys ever make your own
sausage? No, wait. I can do better.
397
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:11,431
How did you guys decide
to let me come live with you?
398
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,831
Oh, that was an easy decision.
399
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,310
See, we knew you would be coming
into your powers soon.
400
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,711
And with your mother in Peru
and your father in a book,
401
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,270
we thought the best place for you
would be here.
402
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,473
I can't believe Sabrina arrives
in two weeks.
403
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,395
I know. I spent the whole second act
thinking about it.
404
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,591
Good evening, Sylvio.
405
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,150
Thanks.
406
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:33,674
I mean, as strange as it seems,
407
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,753
we may be the closest thing
she has to a normal home.
408
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,354
True. We're witches.
409
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,352
But we're suburban witches.
410
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,512
I just hope we're not getting in
over our heads.
411
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,195
Sabrina's spent the last
five summers with us.
412
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:47,192
What if we make a mistake
and ruin her life?
413
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,232
We won't.
414
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,794
Derrick, I'll have my massage later.
415
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,350
Yay, caviar. My favourite.
416
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,477
Now, you do realise
once Sabrina's here,
417
00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,154
we'll have to make a few changes.
418
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,310
Like what?
419
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,791
No more late nights on the town,
no more weekends in Tuscany.
420
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,350
- No more Formula One racing?
- Too risky.
421
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,638
Hey, we can turn the second
floor disco into her bedroom.
422
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:11,954
Don't pout, Lance.
423
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:14,715
Which reminds me, there's something
else we'll have to give up.
424
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,678
- You mean?
- I'm afraid so.
425
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:21,717
Sylvio, Lance, Derrick.
426
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,473
We need to talk.
427
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:27,430
But why'd you get rid of them?
428
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,353
We thought servants might spoil you.
429
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,591
We wanted to teach you
responsibility.
430
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,399
And to respect men.
431
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,190
But you gave up so much.
432
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,353
It seems like taking me in was
the biggest mistake you've ever made.
433
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,911
Don't say that.
We love having you live with us.
434
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:46,232
And we have never regretted it
for one moment.
435
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,154
Really?
436
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,957
Hey, I feel something bubbling.
437
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,918
Stand back.
438
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,118
[YELLS]
439
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:58,794
Hey, I'm normal size again.
440
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,030
Is that it?
441
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,680
I could have sworn you were taller.
442
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,433
I'm glad you're feeling bigger.
443
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,274
Me too. And I appreciate you guys
telling me all those stories
444
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,079
about all the weird stuff you've done.
445
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,358
It made me realise how lucky I am
to live with such cool aunts.
446
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,193
Thanks for everything.
447
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,556
- Am I still grounded?
- Yes.
448
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,634
I knew that.
449
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,870
- Surprise.
- What's the occasion?
450
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:26,235
I'm celebrating you.
451
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,710
Our talk made me realise
we've been through a lot together.
452
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,349
- And I wanted you to have this.
- How sweet.
453
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,514
My abacus.
454
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,957
- I found it in my sock drawer.
- Oh, thanks for returning it.
455
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:40,032
Wait. It's broken.
456
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,475
I was 8. And mad at you.
457
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,155
- Now I can't use it.
- You have a computer.
458
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,836
Only you would give me a gift
that belonged to me in the first place.
459
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,036
Can I see that?
460
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,954
- My abacus.
- It's mine, it's mine.
461
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:54,430
She always takes my stuff.
35695
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.