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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:37,454 Oh, shit. 2 00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:57,513 See you, Cal. 3 00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:21,001 Sue, no, no, no! 4 00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:23,540 Kill yourself on your own time. 5 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,645 According to the Art of War by Sun Tzu... 6 00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:05,807 ...every battle is won and lost before it is fought. 7 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,919 Well, then I guess you've already lost. 8 00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:14,589 Oh, that's not very sportsmanlike. Let's fucking go! 9 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:43,618 Ladies. Hi again. 10 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,587 This is the third time we've been out. 11 00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,282 - I know. - We're shutting this down. 12 00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:50,156 You don't wanna shut the party down. You wanna join us. 13 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:53,629 Why don't you put the guns in the car and you come on in? 14 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,995 - Hey, Bill. - Sorry I'm late, buddy. 15 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,034 - Fucking MapQuest. - I know it, bro. 16 00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,934 I'm right with you with that shit. Look, guys. 17 00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:04,543 Is this about earlier? When you first came, I thought you were strippers? 18 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:08,010 Because that was an accident. You're just very attractive. 19 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,478 Those uniforms are banging. 20 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,982 If we have to come out here again, it's a $ 1000 fine. 21 00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:15,143 - Close it down. - Okay. 22 00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:16,515 Message received. 23 00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:18,020 It's done. You have my word. 24 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,989 I'm gonna go inside, get on the mike, shut it down. 25 00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:40,145 I don't understand why you won't just put it on. 26 00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:42,406 Because I don't find the notion of mocking... 27 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:45,345 ...the American underclass as amusing as your friends do... 28 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:48,180 ...and because I don't share your desperate need to fit in. 29 00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:51,255 By not putting the wig on, you are setting yourself... 30 00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,857 ...and me apart from my friends... 31 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,824 ...which is a controlling and hostile gesture. 32 00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:57,394 Fine. 33 00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:02,528 - Happy now? - Yes. 34 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,000 - Now I'm Mr. Fun Times. - I'm very happy. Thank you. 35 00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:06,195 I'm going for a smoke. 36 00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:08,932 Good, because it's a fucking costume party. 37 00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:14,278 Do we need to talk quietly around her? 38 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,881 Oh, no, no, no. She sleeps through anything. 39 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,449 Yes, you do. 40 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,414 When the babysitter bailed... 41 00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:22,884 ...Glenn and I were like, "Fuck it." We have missed every party. 42 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,047 No way we're missing the White Trash Bash. 43 00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:28,751 Give it up for Glenn. Glenn's getting married soon. 44 00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:31,192 I really did it. 45 00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,026 What's the deal with your bachelorette weekend? 46 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:36,566 - Yeah! - I think it's gonna be... 47 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,601 ...more of a bachelorette night. 48 00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:42,434 And it's gonna be at my folks' place in Jersey. 49 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:45,568 Sorry. 50 00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:48,145 - That's gonna be fine. - That's totally fine. 51 00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:49,576 Has anyone seen Glenn? 52 00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:52,309 Human torpedo! 53 00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:06,624 It's okay. He's a doctor. 54 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:12,935 Hey, buttheads, you guys seen Duquez? 55 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:16,132 - Will you relax with the doughnuts? - Oh, sweetie, I want to. 56 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:19,278 I'm trying to push the savoury and all they want is the sweet. 57 00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:20,673 I promise you no one cares. 58 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,111 Hey. Where the fuck are the doughnuts? 59 00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:24,608 Except him. 60 00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:27,010 Guess what. D. Duquez is AWOL. 61 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:30,621 That is unacceptable. I gotta have it out with that guy. 62 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,451 Like the doughnut police. 63 00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:35,116 Hey, get off of that thing. It's Saturday night. 64 00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:38,786 Well, it's Sunday in Korea, and those motherfuckers don't stop working. 65 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:41,195 They make the Japanese look like Jamaicans. 66 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:44,495 - Is that the new BlackBerry? - Yes, it is. Got it at the office. 67 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:47,798 As punishment for not dressing up, I'm putting this down my pants. 68 00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,874 No, no, no. Just don't do that. 69 00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:51,509 My dick's checking your e-mail. 70 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:53,338 - I'm sending a text. - Don't do that. 71 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:56,311 You have my life in your pants. You cocksucker. 72 00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:07,449 Hey, you two, get a room or get a video camera. 73 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:11,388 - Hello. Excuse me, miss. - Hi. 74 00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:14,158 My name is Eric. This is my house. My party, sort of. 75 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:17,530 You're looking at a bunch of options. This is the one you want. 76 00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:20,171 This is the finest box of wine in the county. 77 00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:21,499 - Really? - Yes, delicious. 78 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:25,633 It has absolutely no body and an amazing cough-syrupy aftertaste. 79 00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,040 - Go ahead. - Cheers. 80 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:30,046 Don't get it on your skin. All right? 81 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,877 Oh, yeah. 82 00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:35,384 - Not bad, right? - Really good wine. 83 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,588 - Even better bean dip. - That's not bean dip! 84 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,348 - What? - I'm kidding. 85 00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,356 You knew that. That's awesome. 86 00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,654 You're the first person to eat out of that. 87 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,594 Not many people are thrilled about eating out of a shitter. 88 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,996 Really? In prison, we used our crapper as a punchbowl. 89 00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:51,534 Really? No kidding? 90 00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:54,195 I have never seen you at one of these things. 91 00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:56,398 - First time. - We'll have to change that. 92 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,567 We do these kind of things all the time. 93 00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:02,009 You know, Labor Day. We're gonna have a big Winter Wonderland party. 94 00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:03,614 Snow machine. 95 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,875 Gonna be sledding. Should be interesting. 96 00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,883 Give me your information. 97 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,180 - What? - Information? 98 00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:10,549 - Are you kidding me? - No. 99 00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:11,747 - Really? - Yes. 100 00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,050 Yes, like what? 101 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,558 Like my social security number, my college GPA? 102 00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:18,959 Why don't we start with your phone number and your shoe size? 103 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,732 - Okay. - Okay. 104 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,631 - I happen to have a pen. - Of course you have a pen. 105 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,431 You gotta be ready. Always be prepared. 106 00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:28,733 What? 107 00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:30,899 - On my baby. - Look at that. 108 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:34,137 Oh, I'm so jealous of this baby. I'm so jealous. 109 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,805 Oh, you wanna get out, I wanna get in there. I'm kidding. 110 00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:39,645 Kelly, local number? 111 00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:40,876 Local girl. 112 00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:42,111 - You kidding me? - Get out. 113 00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,755 Size 9 shoe. 114 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,414 You know what they say. "Big shoe, big uterus." 115 00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:49,758 I'll bring friends. Real sorry. 116 00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:52,454 If you excuse me, I see an old friend just showed up. 117 00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:53,724 I'll talk to you later. 118 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,390 - Okay. - Nice meeting you. 119 00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:57,001 - Nice to meet you too. - Hey, fucko. 120 00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:58,659 Excuse me. 121 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,771 I'm really mad, actually. 122 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,931 - What's wrong with this guy? - Bye, guys. 123 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,440 Daddy's gotta go home. 124 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,874 One more for the road. Shotgun! 125 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,110 - Michael. - I wasn't ready. Throw another. 126 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,274 - Asshole. - You're supposed to catch that. 127 00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:13,816 Come on, baby, we're going. 128 00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,078 - Bye, guys. - Bye, Katie. 129 00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:16,949 I'm sorry if I got beer on your baby. 130 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,813 You, you. Where have you been? 131 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:21,118 I'm sorry. There was a mess in the studio. 132 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,194 There was this buzzing undertone... 133 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,796 ...that was bending me over and fucking me in the ass. 134 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,956 Yeah. I'm not seeing any doughnuts. 135 00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,125 You specifically said get the glazed. 136 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,635 They didn't have glazed. I tried. There was jelly. 137 00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:36,104 There was Boston cream. Jelly, Boston cream. 138 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:39,142 Eric, I have a whole package of ginger candies in my bag. 139 00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,446 Hi, Willow. 140 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,639 Thank you. But we're gonna be okay. 141 00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,647 I found you a big brown naked! 142 00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,718 I can't get it off! I can't shake it off! 143 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,514 Hey, everybody naked in the pool. 144 00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,329 Well, that's a half hour ahead of schedule. 145 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,827 Yeah! Anybody? 146 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:03,400 Anybody? 147 00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:05,901 Oh, you all suck. Chickenshit. 148 00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,370 Want me to go to Brent's? Pick up Entenmann's? 149 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,565 Don't worry about it. 150 00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:11,642 Now I'm gonna go jump in that pool... 151 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,745 ...because McCrudden is dying in there alone. 152 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:17,006 That's what friends do. See, they don't leave each other hanging. 153 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,515 Where's your patriotism? 154 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:20,709 My man. 155 00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,376 I got you. 156 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,518 My fucking BlackBerry. 157 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,541 Dad, what are you doing here? 158 00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:58,715 Oh, yeah, I own the place. Cherie, this is my son, Eric. 159 00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:01,086 - Hi. - He's told me all about you. 160 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:04,287 Yeah. 161 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,692 Great party. Thanks for letting us sleep it off. 162 00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,527 No problem. 163 00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:12,731 - It must have been quite a fiesta. - Oh, yeah, I guess so. 164 00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:15,430 - Did the best I could with the turds. - I know you did, Bill. 165 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,236 I wish you would have let me know you were coming out. 166 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,436 Maybe we can throw someone down on a couch. 167 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,080 We're not staying. 168 00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:26,617 I just came out for the day to do a meet-and-greet with the brokers. 169 00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:27,878 Brokers? 170 00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,817 You got the message, right? 171 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,922 I saw that you called. 172 00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:34,082 I'm putting the house on the market. 173 00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:37,153 What? Wait, you're selling our house? 174 00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:41,633 I'm hardly ever out here anymore. 175 00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:44,269 It's time to unload. 176 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:45,665 But hey, what about me? 177 00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:49,934 I'm always out here. My friends are always out here. 178 00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:52,305 So make me an offer. 179 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:57,109 Dad, come on. I don't ask you for anything. 180 00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,148 How about this? We go get breakfast. 181 00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:00,945 We talk over the house situation. 182 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,179 Maybe we all can chip in for utilities? 183 00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:05,289 I'm a little pressed for time, kiddo. 184 00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:09,950 We're gonna go play a quick nine and then gotta get back. 185 00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,824 Cherie's never played before. 186 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,294 I'm so excited. 187 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,956 Dad, this is fucking bullshit. 188 00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:18,126 I'll call you next week. We'll do yoga. 189 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,144 I've said it before and I'll say it again. 190 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,878 Your dad is a selfish prick. 191 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,021 Smoothie? 192 00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:39,214 It's gonna be sad not coming out here. 193 00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:41,825 Me and Willy might not even be around next summer. 194 00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,326 The L.A. Thing again? Are you serious? 195 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,488 You just moved into that place in Brooklyn. 196 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:48,895 But Willow's doing really good with her acting. 197 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,797 She did that Pizza Hut Latin America commercial. 198 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:58,170 Her dad is gonna hook me up with a job at a big law firm. 199 00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,538 What about the album? 200 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:01,703 I'll work on the album while I'm doing law. 201 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,213 - Yeah? Will you? - You know what I'm excited about? 202 00:13:04,383 --> 00:13:07,250 Throwing one of these parties in my one-bedroom apartment. 203 00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:08,750 That'll be fun, right? 204 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,355 Maybe I can put the food out on the fire escape. 205 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,355 - Eric. - The band in the bathroom. 206 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:14,857 I have to get more outlets. 207 00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:17,325 I'll get a power strip. Why not? I'll splurge. 208 00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:18,895 - Eric. - What? 209 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:20,395 This is a major moment. 210 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:23,091 It's okay to let the hurt in. 211 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:26,329 To allow yourself to actually be present in a moment. 212 00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:29,235 Okay, thanks, doc. You really make the moment more real... 213 00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:32,036 ...by talking about how real the moment is in the middle. 214 00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:35,203 No, I understand. You're probably feeling... 215 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,576 ...some anger and some misdirected frustra... 216 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:41,376 - Feel better now? - A little bit, yeah. 217 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,181 - Dude, that was awesome. - Oh, fuck! 218 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:45,888 What about now? 219 00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:47,184 Oh, much better. 220 00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:48,994 Now I'm in the moment. 221 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:52,723 I don't understand summer school. 222 00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:55,560 Isn't the point of being a teacher that you get summers off? 223 00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:58,897 Well, they pay us poop, so, what am I gonna do, waitress? 224 00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:01,539 Oh, my God, the big news. 225 00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:04,904 So the principal told me today... 226 00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:07,568 ...that the friendship bracelets that the girls are wearing... 227 00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:10,476 ...are actually sex bracelets. 228 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,741 What? 229 00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,908 I saw something about that on Oprah. 230 00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:16,247 Girls wear these different color bracelets... 231 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:19,255 ...and every color represents, like, a sex thing. 232 00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,916 So if you tear off a girl's blue bracelet... 233 00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:23,925 ...that means she has to give you oral. 234 00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:25,757 - Yup. - What's a yellow bracelet? 235 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,057 Uh, a hug. 236 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,495 Oh, sweet. 237 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,760 - I know. - What about purple? 238 00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:31,960 Teabagging? 239 00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:34,931 Really? 240 00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:37,098 Well, what is teabagging? 241 00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:38,300 Balls in mouth. 242 00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:40,104 Oh, no! 243 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,975 Teabagging? What is with the kids today? 244 00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,810 Well, the blowjob is the new French kiss. 245 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:47,953 Wow, we really missed the boat on that one. 246 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,782 I feel like if we had had sex bracelets back then... 247 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,514 ...no one would have torn mine off. 248 00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:54,925 No, no, no, sweetie. 249 00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:57,289 I would have torn off your BJ bracelet. 250 00:14:57,463 --> 00:15:00,091 You're just saying that, but thanks, Eric. 251 00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:01,858 Thanks for letting me blow you. 252 00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:04,298 - You're welcome. - You're a good friend. 253 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,438 Hey, Dody. 254 00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:16,645 Hi. Can I help you? 255 00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:18,476 - Are you Eric? - Yes. 256 00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,642 Hi. We spoke on the phone. 257 00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:23,481 I'm Dody Henderson from the Henderson Realty Group. 258 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,556 And this is my associate Kelly Tanner. 259 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,158 - Hi. How are you? - Hi. 260 00:15:29,528 --> 00:15:30,552 No, thank you. 261 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:31,821 Lame. 262 00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,021 Oh, I shouldn't. 263 00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:37,063 We can't wait to get your house sold. 264 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,499 We need this place clean, clean every day. 265 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,139 Water the lawns, skim the pool. 266 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:45,573 You never know when buyers are gonna stop by to say hi and buy, buy. 267 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,541 Oh, B-U-Y! 268 00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,738 Whatever. 269 00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:53,851 Oh, and make sure the toilets are clean enough to eat out of. 270 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,509 Yeah, whatever. 271 00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,819 Maybe I should sprinkle some rose petals on the driveway too. 272 00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:00,549 Just do what you can. 273 00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:02,387 Will do. 274 00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:06,728 What are the chances of maybe selling this sometime after Labor Day? 275 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,024 You wanna sell a summer home during the summer. 276 00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:11,396 That's kind of the point. 277 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,329 So glad we're in business together. 278 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,237 Om shanti it is. 279 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,375 Vultures. 280 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:28,076 It's light. It's light. 281 00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:30,380 We should put it up closer. Like there? 282 00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:33,923 Oh, yeah. That'll bring in all the right clientele. 283 00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:46,299 Listen. Have you given any more thought to the final Labor Day blowout? 284 00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:47,632 I really don't know. 285 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,206 I mean, obviously, we gotta do something huge. 286 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,640 But what do you do for a final blowout? 287 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,405 Go out in a blaze of glory. Heads held high. 288 00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:56,980 - I get it. - Deserved. 289 00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:58,912 Holy shit. Oh, shit. Here we go. Bingo. 290 00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:00,915 - What? - I got the concept right here. 291 00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:02,485 Brown party. 292 00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:04,146 Brown party. Brown party. 293 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,449 Brown clothes, brown food, brown drink... 294 00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:09,150 ...brown clown, brown balloons... 295 00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,659 ...live music supplied by Jackson Browne. 296 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,094 I don't know what you're thinking. Is that good? 297 00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,392 It's fucking awful. 298 00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:18,161 Take it easy. I'm just spitballing. 299 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,429 It's not like you're throwing ideas my way. 300 00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,767 - He spells with an E at the end. - Doesn't matter. 301 00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:25,569 Holy shit. We got a situation here. 302 00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,439 Oh, my fucking God. 303 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,843 Dude, she's wearing a sex bracelet. 304 00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,346 Holy fuck, she is. 305 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,815 Oh, boy, that's trouble. 306 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,284 It's blue. It's blue. Sword swallower. 307 00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:39,322 When she reaches out for my cone, I'm gonna snag that thing... 308 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:41,618 ...and it's deep-throat city all night long. 309 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,091 No, no, no. 310 00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:46,163 Please don't do that. Don't. No, stop. 311 00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,026 Stop. Stop it. 312 00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:52,693 I bet she unhinges her jaw like a fucking python swallowing a rat. 313 00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:55,636 Do you guys know what you want? 314 00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,867 - Yes, we do. - Yeah. We got a pretty good idea. 315 00:17:58,043 --> 00:17:59,635 No, ice cream is what we're into. 316 00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:06,379 Do you think a girl like that looks at us like we're a couple of old dudes? 317 00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:09,817 The way we used to look at 30-year-old guys back in high school and say: 318 00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:13,480 "Oh, man, look at that lame old guy hitting on Sue." 319 00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,219 Yeah, probably. 320 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:19,124 I don't know. Weren't 30-year-old guys a lot older back then... 321 00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:20,822 ...with, like, mustaches and jobs? 322 00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:23,160 - It certainly seemed like it. - Yeah. 323 00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:25,560 What? 324 00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,864 - Fuck, dude, we're getting old. - Bullshit. Come on. 325 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,372 I got a foot cramp the other day masturbating. 326 00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:33,511 - What? Doesn't make sense. - I swear to God. It happened. 327 00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:36,842 Do you think that girl and her friends really have BJ orgy parties? 328 00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:38,175 - Indubitably. - Really? 329 00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:40,341 Duquez is right. We got fucking hosed. 330 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,453 Goddang. 331 00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:45,353 Hey, what about that? 332 00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:46,548 What about what? 333 00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,386 What about that for the final party? 334 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,721 - What? - An orgy. 335 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,363 - An orgy? - An orgy. 336 00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:54,021 - You wanna have an orgy? - Why not? 337 00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:55,860 Get out of town. It'll never happen. 338 00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:57,262 - Why not? - Why not? 339 00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:59,528 Because people don't have orgies, you know? 340 00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:01,104 Oh, come on. They used to. 341 00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,070 - True. - Yeah, think about it, dude. 342 00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:06,109 An orgy. A good old-fashioned orgy. 343 00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:08,945 That is a blaze of glory. 344 00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:12,083 Okay. Now you know I hate naysayers, right? 345 00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:13,718 But I'm gonna have to say nay. 346 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,217 - Really? - Really. 347 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,945 Are you throwing down the gauntlet? 348 00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:19,056 Oops, what's that? 349 00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,488 It's on the ground as we speak. 350 00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:24,726 We're gonna have an orgy. 351 00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:27,622 We're gonna have an orgy. 352 00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:29,668 Oh, boy. Here we go. 353 00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:33,227 Okay, guys, I've been mulling it over... 354 00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,305 ...and I have a concept for the final fiesta. 355 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,236 - All right. - What is it? 356 00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:38,740 Fiesta. 357 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,902 While this will be the most spectacular... 358 00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:45,243 ...and insane party any of us have taken part of, it's not gonna be a big thing. 359 00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:46,645 It's just gonna be us. 360 00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:51,755 It's gonna be small, intimate, special. 361 00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,653 Oh, I'll make lasagne. 362 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,318 Oh, yeah. 363 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:57,756 We're gonna have an orgy. 364 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:03,635 - Who? - Us. 365 00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:07,599 - Where? - Right here. Labor Day weekend. 366 00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:11,675 Us? A naked sex orgy? 367 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,311 - You're kidding, right? - No, I'm not. Why not us? 368 00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:16,276 People used to have them all the time. 369 00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:17,608 All the time. 370 00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,273 What happened to our generation? 371 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:21,646 What happened? I'll tell you what happened. 372 00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:24,516 - AIDS. - AIDS. 373 00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:26,282 AIDS hit right when we hit puberty. 374 00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:28,483 And it scared the shit out of all of us. 375 00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:32,619 It turned sex into this big, frightening thing. 376 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,129 He's right. 377 00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:37,962 Kids today are freaks, our parents were freaks... 378 00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:39,694 ...we're a bunch of fucking pussies. 379 00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:42,465 - We're the lamest generation. - This is our chance. 380 00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:43,835 Our chance to do it right. 381 00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:46,000 Take back what's been taken from us. 382 00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:48,510 - Isn't that from Goonies? - I am paraphrasing Goonies. 383 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,308 Orgy. Orgy. 384 00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:55,317 Orgy. Orgy. Orgy. 385 00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:57,785 Duquez, come on. You're into this, right? 386 00:20:57,956 --> 00:21:01,221 What? No. 387 00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:04,362 We're all friends. It would just be too weird. 388 00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:06,121 How do you know unless you try? 389 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:12,161 If we all went into this with an open mind, it could be amazing. 390 00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:15,500 In theory, a noble call to arms. 391 00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:20,338 In practice, I cannot imagine a more awkward... 392 00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:22,503 ...and uncomfortably terrible evening. 393 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:25,411 Oh, laugh, laugh, laugh all you want. 394 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:27,812 Seriously, don't you get it? This is it... 395 00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:31,012 ...the final blowout, and then the house is gone. 396 00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:34,522 People move away. Things change. 397 00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:37,093 We need to think outside of the box. 398 00:21:37,262 --> 00:21:40,197 And inside the box. 399 00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:43,758 Mike, that's not what I'm going for. 400 00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:45,232 I'm in. 401 00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:46,830 - What? - What? 402 00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:48,029 Are you serious? 403 00:21:48,206 --> 00:21:50,265 Yes, it worked. 404 00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:52,205 Come on. An orgy? 405 00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:53,708 It's madness. 406 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,907 It's gonna be a fucking blast. 407 00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:58,572 - Success! - Success! 408 00:21:58,750 --> 00:22:00,877 Sue's in. Thank you, yes. 409 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:02,077 Here we go. Come on. 410 00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,882 I'm gonna go meet Marcus. Oh, my God. 411 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:07,582 All right, think it over. Think it... Everybody, okay. 412 00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:09,056 All right, I get it. 413 00:22:09,227 --> 00:22:12,060 It's gonna take a while to come around on this whole orgy idea. 414 00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:15,529 Right? Here? No, okay. Very good, but go ahead... 415 00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:18,135 ...type it in your BlackBerrys, pencil it in your notebooks. 416 00:22:18,303 --> 00:22:20,601 Orgy. Orgy. 417 00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:22,899 Orgy. Orgy. 418 00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:26,067 Orgy. Orgy. Orgy. 419 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:35,642 So, Sue, you think this is how you're gonna finally sleep with Eric? 420 00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:38,756 What? We dated in high school. 421 00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:40,448 Come on, that was ages ago. 422 00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:42,388 You guys never, you know, did it... 423 00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:44,324 ...so it's kind of unfinished business. 424 00:22:44,496 --> 00:22:47,829 Yeah, but I've slept with like a ton of guys since then... 425 00:22:47,999 --> 00:22:50,490 ...so this doesn't have anything to do with it. 426 00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:53,432 Fine, but other than social awkwardness... 427 00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:54,765 ...give me one reason. 428 00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:58,068 Oh, very well. How about I give you several reasons? 429 00:22:58,243 --> 00:22:59,767 Like, oh, I don't know... 430 00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:01,606 ...chlamydia, the herp... 431 00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:05,614 ...gonorrhoea, syphilis, papilloma. 432 00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:07,115 The Steve McQueen movie? 433 00:23:07,285 --> 00:23:10,948 No, that's Papillon. The virus that causes genital warts. 434 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,281 Why do you think of this stuff? 435 00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:16,450 Don't you remember the article my mom clipped from The New Yorker? 436 00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:20,459 No. 437 00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:22,998 Condoms can't stop it and it causes cervical cancer. 438 00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:25,033 You don't have a cervix. 439 00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:29,338 I don't know how you could have sex in front of a room full of people. 440 00:23:29,508 --> 00:23:32,636 I mean, I don't even like to get naked at the spa. 441 00:23:32,811 --> 00:23:35,644 I'm not saying that this is gonna be easy for me... 442 00:23:35,814 --> 00:23:38,806 ...but isn't that what kind of makes it exciting? 443 00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:41,509 I'm not saying that it wouldn't be fun... 444 00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:43,654 ...but it's an orgy. 445 00:23:43,822 --> 00:23:45,847 What's the point of losing all this weight... 446 00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:47,958 ...if you're not gonna show off your new bod? 447 00:23:48,126 --> 00:23:49,889 You haven't even worn your bikini yet. 448 00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:51,494 I still have 5 more pounds. 449 00:23:51,663 --> 00:23:54,496 I think this could help build your self-esteem. 450 00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:57,226 There's the miracle cure. I'm gonna start turning my clients... 451 00:23:57,402 --> 00:24:00,064 ...onto group sex instead of Zoloft. 452 00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,467 We're going to the beach. At least do that. 453 00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:04,666 It's our last summer. Let's go to the beach. 454 00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:08,335 Shockingly, I'm gonna pass on the stroll through the tick-infested dunes. 455 00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:10,504 Dude, I've had Lyme disease. 456 00:24:10,682 --> 00:24:13,173 It's not a big deal. It's antibiotics, boom, done. 457 00:24:13,351 --> 00:24:16,548 You know I have a needle phobia. Okay? I can't go to the doctor. 458 00:24:16,721 --> 00:24:19,349 The puncturing the veins and the... 459 00:24:19,524 --> 00:24:22,015 Okay, whatever. Enjoy the great indoors. 460 00:24:22,194 --> 00:24:24,355 - Yeah. Bye. - Okay. 461 00:24:24,529 --> 00:24:27,862 Hey, Eric. Could you grab some sand for my ass crack? 462 00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:29,557 I'll grab some for your cervix. 463 00:24:31,703 --> 00:24:34,035 Okay. Let's say you dated four guys in one year... 464 00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,197 ...right, and you slept with them. 465 00:24:36,374 --> 00:24:38,535 - You'd be cool with that? - Totally. 466 00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:41,736 And how many guys have you slept with this year? 467 00:24:42,547 --> 00:24:44,538 None. 468 00:24:44,716 --> 00:24:46,081 Or the year before. 469 00:24:46,251 --> 00:24:49,584 So really all you're doing is sleeping with four guys... 470 00:24:49,754 --> 00:24:52,120 ...in, like, a shorter time frame. 471 00:24:53,258 --> 00:24:55,419 I never really thought of it that way. 472 00:24:56,595 --> 00:24:57,619 What do you think? 473 00:24:57,829 --> 00:25:00,923 Insane, idiotic and self-destructive. 474 00:25:02,901 --> 00:25:05,062 Okay, hypothetically. 475 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:09,071 If I did decide to do it, but at the last minute... 476 00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:11,368 ...I totally freaked out... 477 00:25:11,543 --> 00:25:14,478 ...they would let me out, right? 478 00:25:14,646 --> 00:25:16,910 Laura, it's an orgy, not The Accused. 479 00:25:17,082 --> 00:25:20,142 It's not fun unless everybody's into it. 480 00:25:22,554 --> 00:25:24,146 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. 481 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:26,586 - I'm gonna do it. - Yeah? Yeah? 482 00:25:26,758 --> 00:25:28,783 - I'm gonna do it. - All right. Yeah, girl. 483 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,121 Hey, guys, what's the celebration? 484 00:25:33,098 --> 00:25:35,760 Just talking about how to get Laura back in the saddle. 485 00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:38,501 I'm gonna find you a guy. 486 00:25:39,070 --> 00:25:41,436 Glenn's cousin Frank is coming to the wedding. 487 00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:44,743 He runs a karate studio in Hoboken. Pretty cool. 488 00:25:46,444 --> 00:25:48,776 - Okay, Game on. Let's go. - All right, John Kruk. 489 00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:52,383 I'll tell you what I'm gonna throw, and you're still gonna whiff at it. 490 00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:55,279 Slow breaking curveball. 491 00:25:57,489 --> 00:25:59,480 Goddamn it! I dare you to throw that again. 492 00:25:59,658 --> 00:26:02,627 Sweet Wiffle, the nerd's revenge. 493 00:26:02,794 --> 00:26:04,694 I got my bunt face on. 494 00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:07,160 Drills, ladies. Drills. Let's go. Look alive. 495 00:26:07,332 --> 00:26:08,663 Album cover, hat or no hat? 496 00:26:08,833 --> 00:26:10,801 Oh, Doug, come on, man. 497 00:26:10,969 --> 00:26:12,834 You've been doing this for two years. 498 00:26:13,004 --> 00:26:15,472 Mixing, remixing. Hatting, no hatting. 499 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,767 Your music's awesome. Get it out there. 500 00:26:17,943 --> 00:26:20,309 No one will give it a shot if they don't dig my look. 501 00:26:20,478 --> 00:26:22,639 - It's an image-based industry. - What the fuck? 502 00:26:22,814 --> 00:26:25,305 This is why you're headed for a shitty job. 503 00:26:25,483 --> 00:26:28,975 You need to stop trying to look like a rock star and start living like one. 504 00:26:29,154 --> 00:26:30,553 - Yeah, do the orgy. - Do the orgy. 505 00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:32,519 You think Mick Jagger would have said: 506 00:26:32,691 --> 00:26:34,283 "No thanks, mate. No orgy for me. 507 00:26:34,459 --> 00:26:36,654 I've got an on-again-off-again girlfriend." 508 00:26:36,828 --> 00:26:38,523 "I don't wanna cheat on David Bowie." 509 00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:40,824 - "No cheating on Bowie." - Hey, Willow. 510 00:26:42,233 --> 00:26:43,894 I know what Tom Hanks feels like now. 511 00:26:44,069 --> 00:26:46,003 My only concern, Duque... 512 00:26:46,171 --> 00:26:48,503 ...is that the hat doesn't make you look gay enough. 513 00:26:48,673 --> 00:26:49,833 Oh, yeah. 514 00:26:50,008 --> 00:26:52,568 You could Photoshop in three guys jizzing on your face? 515 00:26:52,744 --> 00:26:55,178 - Or on the hat? - On the hat...? 516 00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:56,541 - That's good. - Hey. 517 00:26:56,715 --> 00:26:59,707 You could take that five-song demo, make it a double album. 518 00:26:59,884 --> 00:27:03,411 - One with the hat, one without it? - You could call it Exile on Hat Street. 519 00:27:03,588 --> 00:27:07,024 - Yeah, or Jagged Little Hat? - Oh, Meat Loaf. Hat Outta Hell. 520 00:27:07,192 --> 00:27:10,093 What about Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hats Club Hat? 521 00:27:10,261 --> 00:27:13,890 What if I just call it My Shitty Friends Don't Respect Me? 522 00:27:14,866 --> 00:27:17,027 Indie. You won't be able to sell at Walmart. 523 00:27:17,202 --> 00:27:20,228 - Who's next up to hat? - Two and two to Harvey Key. 524 00:27:20,405 --> 00:27:23,033 Sandy winds up and delivers. 525 00:27:25,176 --> 00:27:27,337 - Fuck me. - Hey, Ali Cat. 526 00:27:27,512 --> 00:27:29,070 - Hi. - Like what you see? 527 00:27:29,247 --> 00:27:31,272 This could be all yours Labor Day weekend. 528 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,212 Oh, Eric. 529 00:27:33,385 --> 00:27:35,114 Do you mind if I make an observation? 530 00:27:35,286 --> 00:27:38,255 Oh, boy. Sure, go ahead. 531 00:27:38,423 --> 00:27:40,357 You have intimacy issues. 532 00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:41,719 - Really? - Yeah. 533 00:27:41,893 --> 00:27:44,225 I figured an orgy is as intimate as it can get. 534 00:27:44,396 --> 00:27:47,229 No, no, no, but intimacy isn't about intercourse, Eric. 535 00:27:47,399 --> 00:27:48,696 It's about emotion. 536 00:27:48,867 --> 00:27:51,631 You don't need to get laid. You need to be in a relationship. 537 00:27:53,371 --> 00:27:55,737 Look, just because you're in an unhappy relationship... 538 00:27:56,608 --> 00:27:58,405 ...doesn't mean the rest of us need to be. 539 00:27:58,576 --> 00:28:00,407 I'm not in an unhappy relationship. 540 00:28:00,578 --> 00:28:03,445 I'm in an adult relationship. 541 00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:05,583 It's fun, whatever it is. Hold on one sec? 542 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:08,776 Hey, Marcus. You want to take a few cracks with the bat? 543 00:28:08,953 --> 00:28:10,250 No, thank you. 544 00:28:10,422 --> 00:28:13,414 Football is my game, European football. 545 00:28:13,591 --> 00:28:14,888 Gotcha. 546 00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:17,290 Did he date Siegfried or Roy? I can't remember. 547 00:28:19,931 --> 00:28:22,661 God, it's embarrassing watching you play this sport. 548 00:28:24,469 --> 00:28:25,595 It's cow shit. 549 00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:28,603 Look, doc, it's your life. 550 00:28:28,773 --> 00:28:30,138 You can do whatever you want. 551 00:28:30,308 --> 00:28:32,606 All I'm saying is that maybe Labor Day weekend... 552 00:28:32,777 --> 00:28:35,041 ...might be the last chopper out of Saigon for you. 553 00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:45,685 Knock, knock. Guess who. 554 00:28:45,857 --> 00:28:47,654 Dody! 555 00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:50,124 - These are the Webers. - How you doing? 556 00:28:50,662 --> 00:28:52,493 We brought some extra signs... 557 00:28:52,664 --> 00:28:54,325 ...because someone is stealing ours. 558 00:28:54,499 --> 00:28:56,160 That's too bad. 559 00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:59,662 Oh, good. Okay. Hey, guys. Do me a favor? 560 00:28:59,838 --> 00:29:02,966 When you go in the house, don't go to the basement or anything. 561 00:29:03,141 --> 00:29:07,305 Not that there's anything or anyone down there in a cage or otherwise. 562 00:29:07,479 --> 00:29:10,471 Thanks, Eric. That's so helpful. 563 00:29:10,648 --> 00:29:11,808 What is he talking about? 564 00:29:11,983 --> 00:29:14,850 Oh, gosh. Don't worry. Don't worry. 565 00:29:15,019 --> 00:29:18,318 He's a little off. 566 00:29:18,490 --> 00:29:19,718 It's a head injury. 567 00:29:19,891 --> 00:29:21,984 That's why he wears the helmet. 568 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,651 Are they all challenged? 569 00:29:25,330 --> 00:29:27,798 Yes. But at least they have each other. 570 00:29:27,966 --> 00:29:31,163 Oh, that's so great. 571 00:29:31,336 --> 00:29:33,861 Have fun with your game, sweetie. 572 00:29:34,038 --> 00:29:35,505 Thanks, Mrs. Weber. 573 00:29:36,808 --> 00:29:40,039 We are five minutes from Indian Wells Beach. 574 00:29:40,211 --> 00:29:42,406 And wait till you see your bedroom. 575 00:30:20,718 --> 00:30:23,209 What if someone comes in? These people never knock. 576 00:30:23,388 --> 00:30:25,788 I just locked the door. 577 00:30:25,957 --> 00:30:29,791 Fine, but you really must be quiet. 578 00:30:29,961 --> 00:30:31,292 None of your usual screeches. 579 00:30:31,462 --> 00:30:33,054 - Okay, okay, okay. - Yes? 580 00:30:33,231 --> 00:30:35,256 Yeah. 581 00:30:37,702 --> 00:30:39,465 Oh, Marcus. 582 00:30:40,405 --> 00:30:42,896 Let's get you out of these dirty little panties. 583 00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:45,042 Do it. What? 584 00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:48,577 What's going on? Why are you stopping? What's going on? Hey. 585 00:30:48,746 --> 00:30:50,236 What? 586 00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:52,439 What have you done to your vagina? 587 00:30:54,085 --> 00:30:55,245 I shaved it. 588 00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:04,126 - Why? - I don't know. 589 00:31:04,295 --> 00:31:08,789 Because I thought it would be something different, sexy. 590 00:31:08,967 --> 00:31:12,562 Women are supposed to have pubic hair. Why would I find it sexy? 591 00:31:12,737 --> 00:31:14,796 You look like a prepubescent girl. 592 00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:16,338 I'm not a child molester. 593 00:31:16,507 --> 00:31:19,601 Okay, you know what, it's hair, Marcus, and it's gonna grow back. 594 00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:23,175 Well, I wished you would have told me... 595 00:31:23,348 --> 00:31:25,839 ...about your little secret before I unwrapped this. 596 00:31:26,017 --> 00:31:28,451 This lambskin condoms cost 2 Euros. 597 00:31:28,620 --> 00:31:30,281 It's wasteful. 598 00:31:31,322 --> 00:31:32,482 I did it for you! 599 00:31:32,657 --> 00:31:34,591 You could have consulted with me. 600 00:31:34,759 --> 00:31:38,126 I don't make you wear deodorant because you don't want to! 601 00:31:38,296 --> 00:31:41,265 Alison, you're being like a child. 602 00:31:41,432 --> 00:31:43,866 Fuck you, go away! 603 00:31:44,035 --> 00:31:45,969 You go away. 604 00:31:46,137 --> 00:31:47,468 I think this is chemical. 605 00:31:47,639 --> 00:31:49,470 Darling, what dosage are you taking? 606 00:31:49,641 --> 00:31:51,802 You... Fuck you! 607 00:31:51,976 --> 00:31:53,307 This is your problem. 608 00:31:53,478 --> 00:31:56,879 I was just expressing my sexuality in a healthy manner. 609 00:31:57,048 --> 00:32:00,984 God forbid, Marcus, that we experiment a little bit. 610 00:32:01,152 --> 00:32:02,380 Fine. 611 00:32:02,553 --> 00:32:06,489 I'm going back to the city and I'm taking the iPod. 612 00:32:06,658 --> 00:32:08,888 Fine. Leave! 613 00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:11,358 And your breath is terrible! 614 00:32:11,529 --> 00:32:14,521 My breath is natural. Unlike your vagina. 615 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:17,024 Fuck you! 616 00:32:24,542 --> 00:32:25,566 Jesus. 617 00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:27,535 Sorry. 618 00:32:28,846 --> 00:32:29,870 It's all right. 619 00:32:33,685 --> 00:32:36,085 The worst part is I'm just peeing right now. 620 00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:53,998 I've been kicking around a few ideas. 621 00:32:54,172 --> 00:32:56,037 Party themes. Let me know what you think. 622 00:32:56,207 --> 00:32:59,506 First one, Roman, right? You're talking togas, wine... 623 00:32:59,677 --> 00:33:01,872 ...bushels of grapes, the whole deal. 624 00:33:02,046 --> 00:33:03,911 Then I also have '70s, right? 625 00:33:04,082 --> 00:33:07,540 We got the swinger vibe, polyester, big hair... 626 00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:10,552 ...upstairs and down, you know? I don't know. 627 00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:13,122 What about the Kama Sutra? 628 00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:14,723 - That's actually not bad. - Yeah? 629 00:33:14,892 --> 00:33:17,588 Yeah, yeah, like the sex secrets of the East, right? 630 00:33:17,762 --> 00:33:19,730 Oh, that's... Yeah. 631 00:33:19,897 --> 00:33:23,697 You know you have like incense, tapestries. 632 00:33:23,868 --> 00:33:26,359 - Veils, diaphanous fabrics. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 633 00:33:26,537 --> 00:33:29,267 I have no idea what the hell that is, but I like it. 634 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,601 You and me, we're on the same page with this. 635 00:33:31,776 --> 00:33:34,108 - Right? I think so. - Absolutely. 636 00:33:34,278 --> 00:33:36,439 - How do you spell "Kama"? - Yeah. 637 00:33:36,614 --> 00:33:38,081 Dude, babe alert at 3 o'clock. 638 00:33:38,249 --> 00:33:40,080 Three o'clock. My 3, my 3. 639 00:33:45,256 --> 00:33:46,416 - Wait. - That hurts my dink. 640 00:33:46,591 --> 00:33:47,922 Wait a minute. That's Kelly. 641 00:33:48,092 --> 00:33:50,560 - Who? - My Realtor. 642 00:33:50,728 --> 00:33:52,286 Oh, shit, the enemy. 643 00:33:52,964 --> 00:33:54,659 Listen to me. Listen. 644 00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:57,767 We cannot afford to lose the casa de sex before Labor Day, okay? 645 00:33:57,935 --> 00:34:00,836 You go over there, you get in tight with her, lay on the charm... 646 00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:02,939 ...and get her to drag ass selling the house. 647 00:34:03,107 --> 00:34:04,438 - No, no, that is... - Yes, yes. 648 00:34:04,609 --> 00:34:06,907 She is a tough cookie. She'll see through that. 649 00:34:07,078 --> 00:34:09,012 Her? Please, dude, you're the king. 650 00:34:09,180 --> 00:34:12,479 A little winey-diney, she'll be your humble wench servant. 651 00:34:13,451 --> 00:34:15,442 Keep friends close, but enemies closer. 652 00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:18,885 Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. Just go fucking charm her, okay? 653 00:34:19,257 --> 00:34:20,622 - Okay. - Go, go, go. 654 00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:22,020 - All right. - Do the thing. 655 00:34:22,193 --> 00:34:25,458 - What? - The smile thing. 656 00:34:26,464 --> 00:34:29,627 - Kelly. Kelly. Hi. - Oh, Eric. 657 00:34:29,801 --> 00:34:31,166 - Hey. - Hey. 658 00:34:31,335 --> 00:34:33,030 Oh, my God, look at this. Watch. 659 00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:36,264 I hope anything I said didn't screw anything up with the client. 660 00:34:36,441 --> 00:34:38,534 I was joking around. I didn't freak them out? 661 00:34:38,709 --> 00:34:40,370 - Oh, no. Not at all. - Oh, good. 662 00:34:40,545 --> 00:34:43,275 You were wearing that helmet so I was able to convince them... 663 00:34:43,448 --> 00:34:46,315 ...that, you know, you ride the short bus. 664 00:34:46,484 --> 00:34:48,145 Well, that's good. 665 00:34:48,319 --> 00:34:49,684 - Yeah. Thanks. - Well played. 666 00:34:49,854 --> 00:34:52,186 Hey, do you mind if...? Maybe I can make up to you. 667 00:34:52,356 --> 00:34:54,153 Take you out to dinner or something? 668 00:34:54,325 --> 00:34:56,190 - Could be fun, yeah? - Oh, gosh, thanks. 669 00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:00,490 Technically, I'm not supposed to go out with clients so... 670 00:35:00,665 --> 00:35:03,566 Well, technically my dad's the client. 671 00:35:03,734 --> 00:35:06,567 Right now I'm just some random dude on the beach. 672 00:35:06,737 --> 00:35:09,228 She's smiling. Look, she's smiling. She's buying it. 673 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,738 Okay. I'll go to dinner with you. 674 00:35:11,943 --> 00:35:13,001 All right. 675 00:35:13,177 --> 00:35:15,338 But tell me which party we met at. 676 00:35:15,513 --> 00:35:17,674 Was it one of my parties? 677 00:35:17,849 --> 00:35:19,476 Okay. What? 678 00:35:19,650 --> 00:35:22,016 Oh, was it the Cuba Libre party because... 679 00:35:22,186 --> 00:35:24,381 ...I was in mojito haze that whole day and I just... 680 00:35:24,555 --> 00:35:25,920 - Nope. - No. 681 00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:27,421 Oktoberfest in July? 682 00:35:27,592 --> 00:35:29,526 - Nope. - Oh, oh, no, no, I know. 683 00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:30,752 I know. 684 00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:34,193 It was the Star Trek versus Star Wars Battle for the Universe Party... 685 00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:37,198 ...and you were dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi. 686 00:35:37,368 --> 00:35:39,700 How drunk do you get at these parties? 687 00:35:39,871 --> 00:35:42,704 Pretty drunk. It's kind of a social obligation. 688 00:35:42,874 --> 00:35:45,434 Okay. I'm gonna give you a hint. 689 00:35:45,610 --> 00:35:47,202 I wear a size 9 shoe. 690 00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:50,675 Oh, my God. 691 00:35:50,848 --> 00:35:52,873 Oh, my God, you're bean dip girl. 692 00:35:53,050 --> 00:35:55,018 - You're bean dip girl? - I am. 693 00:35:55,186 --> 00:35:57,279 Have you been bean dip girl the whole time? 694 00:35:57,488 --> 00:35:59,615 Oh, he's so good. 695 00:35:59,790 --> 00:36:01,883 I can't believe that. I was gonna call you. 696 00:36:02,059 --> 00:36:03,390 I had your number on my hand... 697 00:36:03,561 --> 00:36:05,426 ...and I jumped in the pool and it was gone. 698 00:36:05,596 --> 00:36:08,087 I thought I lost you. I thought you were gone forever. 699 00:36:08,266 --> 00:36:09,460 And you... 700 00:36:09,634 --> 00:36:11,795 You look so much better without the fake baby. 701 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,561 I actually prefer the mullet. 702 00:36:13,738 --> 00:36:15,069 Oh, I just cut it yesterday. 703 00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:16,433 For work. 704 00:36:16,607 --> 00:36:19,599 Don't think this whole funny, charming thing right now... 705 00:36:19,777 --> 00:36:21,574 ...gets you off for stealing my signs. 706 00:36:21,746 --> 00:36:23,873 I don't know what you're talking about. 707 00:36:24,048 --> 00:36:25,948 I'm furious those signs are gone. 708 00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:27,584 - You're lying. - I'm not lying. 709 00:36:27,752 --> 00:36:29,413 - Your voice just went up. - What? 710 00:36:30,121 --> 00:36:31,418 I... I'm... 711 00:36:31,589 --> 00:36:33,921 I'm not lying. I am not lying. 712 00:36:34,091 --> 00:36:35,490 - You're so lying. - No, I'm not. 713 00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:37,560 Fucking James Bond. Fuck. 714 00:36:38,930 --> 00:36:41,956 Wow, look at that, huh? 715 00:36:42,133 --> 00:36:45,261 Holy smokes. Another gorgeous shot. 716 00:36:45,436 --> 00:36:46,596 Yeah, thanks. 717 00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:50,767 What should I use, pitching wedge or nine? 718 00:36:50,942 --> 00:36:53,035 I used the nine. 719 00:36:53,411 --> 00:36:55,675 I think maybe I should use the wedge. 720 00:36:55,846 --> 00:36:57,279 Or use the wedge. 721 00:37:01,252 --> 00:37:02,583 Why am I like this? 722 00:37:02,753 --> 00:37:05,950 Oh, just pick a club and hit it. What is the big deal? 723 00:37:07,091 --> 00:37:08,820 Will you do the orgy with me? 724 00:37:10,361 --> 00:37:11,851 Hey, can we play through? 725 00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,121 Hold on a second, man. 726 00:37:16,634 --> 00:37:17,828 The orgy. 727 00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:20,129 You think that would be a good idea? 728 00:37:21,505 --> 00:37:23,996 I'm stuck. And I think the reason... 729 00:37:24,175 --> 00:37:26,473 ...is because I feel like a fucking fraud. 730 00:37:26,644 --> 00:37:30,045 I'm not cool. I have a law degree. 731 00:37:30,214 --> 00:37:33,650 I ride a motorcycle and it scares the fucking shit out of me. 732 00:37:33,818 --> 00:37:36,218 And I play golf at my mom's fucking country club... 733 00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:38,546 ...with assholes like this. 734 00:37:38,723 --> 00:37:41,385 What's the holdup? Play the wedge! 735 00:37:41,892 --> 00:37:44,019 This is not rock 'n' roll. 736 00:37:45,396 --> 00:37:47,830 This could be really good for me. 737 00:37:47,999 --> 00:37:49,990 For me and for us. 738 00:37:50,668 --> 00:37:52,863 Will you do the orgy with me? 739 00:37:55,706 --> 00:37:57,833 Sure, yeah, yeah, whatever. Yeah. 740 00:37:58,876 --> 00:38:00,173 Really? 741 00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:03,410 - Holy shit. - Yeah. 742 00:38:05,149 --> 00:38:08,175 If you're sure this is what you want. 743 00:38:08,352 --> 00:38:11,014 Yeah, absolutely. 744 00:38:11,188 --> 00:38:13,349 - Good. - I think. 745 00:38:13,524 --> 00:38:15,660 Fore! 746 00:38:23,267 --> 00:38:25,701 So you wanna know why guys don't get as excited... 747 00:38:25,870 --> 00:38:28,361 ...about their wedding as women do? 748 00:38:28,539 --> 00:38:32,031 See, it used to be like a guy would get rewarded for his commitment with sex. 749 00:38:32,209 --> 00:38:34,871 But you and Glenn have had sex like a billion times. 750 00:38:35,046 --> 00:38:37,378 For God's sake, you guys have a kid together. 751 00:38:37,548 --> 00:38:43,077 So for Glenn, it's just kind of like all commitment, no reward. 752 00:38:43,254 --> 00:38:44,721 You know? 753 00:38:45,356 --> 00:38:47,381 I'm the fucking reward. 754 00:38:47,558 --> 00:38:49,719 - Of course you are. - Of course. 755 00:38:49,894 --> 00:38:51,418 - No. - Hello? 756 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:54,256 Something's wrong. He's never late. 757 00:38:54,432 --> 00:38:56,457 - Try him again. - I have been trying him. 758 00:38:56,667 --> 00:38:58,066 He's not answering his phone. 759 00:38:58,235 --> 00:39:00,795 At least he won't wear a white tuxedo like you dickheads. 760 00:39:01,572 --> 00:39:03,597 Oh, God, that's good. 761 00:39:07,211 --> 00:39:08,576 Oh, sweet Lord in heaven. 762 00:39:08,746 --> 00:39:10,373 What the fuck, are you stoned? 763 00:39:10,548 --> 00:39:12,743 No. No, no, no, better. 764 00:39:12,917 --> 00:39:15,545 I'm wearing a thing called The Yank. From Adam & Eve. 765 00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:18,587 One end straps around your leg, the other end around your wang. 766 00:39:18,756 --> 00:39:22,715 The brochure says, "With every stride, it gives your member a gentle tug." 767 00:39:24,095 --> 00:39:26,928 What are you doing with a rope on your cock at my wedding? 768 00:39:27,098 --> 00:39:28,998 Endurance training, Labor Day. 769 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,101 For what? A jack-off marathon? 770 00:39:32,803 --> 00:39:34,998 What? Yeah. 771 00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:37,834 That's exactly it. You nailed it. 772 00:39:38,008 --> 00:39:39,669 Hey, check it out. Look who's here. 773 00:39:39,844 --> 00:39:42,642 Oh, fantastic. Another asshole in white tails. 774 00:39:42,813 --> 00:39:45,111 Keep the change, man. 775 00:39:46,250 --> 00:39:47,945 Oh, my God. 776 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:50,787 Well, well, well. Look at you. 777 00:39:50,955 --> 00:39:54,482 You're late, you're in costume, and you appear to be hammered. 778 00:39:54,658 --> 00:39:55,818 Who the hell are you? 779 00:39:55,993 --> 00:39:58,120 Long story. I got fired. 780 00:39:58,295 --> 00:39:59,455 - What? - What? 781 00:39:59,630 --> 00:40:03,122 It had more to do with the fact that I almost blew a $2 billion merger deal... 782 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:06,292 ...because some bozo jumped into the pool with my BlackBerry. 783 00:40:06,670 --> 00:40:08,331 Oh, shit. Dude. 784 00:40:08,506 --> 00:40:10,633 I spent most of last night crying and drinking... 785 00:40:10,808 --> 00:40:14,642 ...and then I drunk-dialed my mom. She kind of talked me down. 786 00:40:14,812 --> 00:40:16,473 Then I woke up this morning... 787 00:40:16,647 --> 00:40:19,810 ...had a little more to drink and I realized, you know what? 788 00:40:19,984 --> 00:40:22,009 This is good. I'm free. 789 00:40:22,186 --> 00:40:23,483 Adam, I'm so sorry. 790 00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:27,656 You're my friend. No, they took my twenties from me. 791 00:40:27,825 --> 00:40:30,851 And I plan to make my thirties making up for it. 792 00:40:31,028 --> 00:40:32,655 And you know what else? 793 00:40:32,830 --> 00:40:35,390 I'm doing the orgy. Fuck it. 794 00:40:35,966 --> 00:40:36,990 Orgy? 795 00:40:37,168 --> 00:40:38,726 What orgy? 796 00:40:38,903 --> 00:40:40,530 The fuck are you talking about? 797 00:40:40,704 --> 00:40:43,400 See, this is exactly why we should have told him, Eric. 798 00:40:43,574 --> 00:40:44,871 Told me what? 799 00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:47,169 That's what we're doing for Labor Day. An orgy. 800 00:40:47,344 --> 00:40:49,904 Bullshit. Who's having an orgy? 801 00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,378 It's me, Willow, these two fellas... 802 00:40:52,550 --> 00:40:54,882 ...Laura, Sue, now drunkie. 803 00:40:55,052 --> 00:40:56,178 Waiting on Alison. 804 00:40:56,353 --> 00:40:58,321 Jesus H. Fucking Christ. 805 00:40:58,489 --> 00:41:01,390 How come you cocksuckers didn't think of this fucking orgy idea... 806 00:41:01,559 --> 00:41:04,892 ...five fucking years ago? Goddamn it! 807 00:41:05,196 --> 00:41:06,220 Glenn. 808 00:41:06,397 --> 00:41:08,888 I'm afraid we're gonna have to start without your friend. 809 00:41:09,066 --> 00:41:10,294 Oh, he's here. He's... 810 00:41:10,668 --> 00:41:12,397 - Hi, Rabbi. - No. 811 00:41:13,037 --> 00:41:14,402 Pardon my French. 812 00:41:18,676 --> 00:41:19,836 All right, everybody. 813 00:41:20,010 --> 00:41:22,501 Introducing for the very first time... 814 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,080 ...Mr. And Mrs. Glenn Pasillio. 815 00:41:26,584 --> 00:41:29,610 - Paciello. - Paciellio. 816 00:41:36,060 --> 00:41:37,186 Here we go. 817 00:41:39,063 --> 00:41:40,223 I am married. 818 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:43,924 Thank you. 819 00:41:45,736 --> 00:41:48,569 I can't believe you guys broke up because you shaved. 820 00:41:48,739 --> 00:41:50,639 He's the weirdest, creepiest guy ever. 821 00:41:50,841 --> 00:41:52,468 Here you are, ladies. 822 00:41:52,643 --> 00:41:55,077 You guys are definitely broken up this time, right? 823 00:41:58,415 --> 00:41:59,780 Fuck relationships. 824 00:41:59,950 --> 00:42:03,750 Right now, all I wanna do is have some fun. 825 00:42:29,914 --> 00:42:31,745 Labor Day. 826 00:42:32,583 --> 00:42:33,607 I'm in. 827 00:42:33,784 --> 00:42:35,615 Yes. Yes. 828 00:42:35,786 --> 00:42:37,447 Oh, and I'm fully shaved. 829 00:42:39,290 --> 00:42:41,121 - Alison. - Oh, no, no, no. 830 00:42:41,292 --> 00:42:43,283 I'm not making a speech. 831 00:42:43,460 --> 00:42:46,623 Sorry about that. It's a private conversation. 832 00:42:48,032 --> 00:42:49,659 Are you okay? 833 00:42:49,833 --> 00:42:51,767 You know what they're doing over Labor Day? 834 00:42:51,936 --> 00:42:54,530 - Do you know what the party is? - What? 835 00:42:54,705 --> 00:42:57,139 They're having a fucking orgy. 836 00:42:58,676 --> 00:43:02,203 - What are you talking about? - They are having an orgy. 837 00:43:03,047 --> 00:43:04,173 Like a sex orgy? 838 00:43:04,348 --> 00:43:06,475 Like a sex orgy and we're not invited. 839 00:43:10,321 --> 00:43:11,686 Hey. Hi. 840 00:43:11,855 --> 00:43:13,220 So is it true? 841 00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:15,619 That all of you are having this orgy... 842 00:43:15,793 --> 00:43:17,658 ...and you didn't think to invite us? 843 00:43:19,830 --> 00:43:22,697 What are you all looking at me for? I... 844 00:43:22,866 --> 00:43:25,391 Guys, you just got married, okay? 845 00:43:25,569 --> 00:43:27,537 I... You have a kid. You don't... 846 00:43:27,705 --> 00:43:30,003 Don't you think it's a little inappropriate? 847 00:43:30,174 --> 00:43:31,835 Well, of course we wouldn't come. 848 00:43:32,009 --> 00:43:34,842 It's that you didn't ask us. You didn't even think of us. 849 00:43:35,012 --> 00:43:37,412 In fact, you specifically hid this from us. 850 00:43:37,581 --> 00:43:39,549 We invited all you to be here today... 851 00:43:39,717 --> 00:43:42,049 ...just the most special day of our lives... 852 00:43:42,219 --> 00:43:46,087 ...and you, who are supposed to be our closest friends. 853 00:43:46,256 --> 00:43:49,350 There were family members who didn't get invited so you could come. 854 00:43:49,526 --> 00:43:50,686 - Family members. - Right. 855 00:43:51,528 --> 00:43:55,259 Now, we're just totally out of your pervy little social club. 856 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:57,526 I don't believe this. 857 00:44:04,041 --> 00:44:06,202 - Sorry. - Are you happy? 858 00:44:07,845 --> 00:44:11,212 Because you and your stupid orgy just ruined our goddamn wedding. 859 00:44:11,382 --> 00:44:13,407 - Oh, come on, Glenn. - Kate! 860 00:44:13,717 --> 00:44:16,208 - Is it too late to invite them? - I'll go talk to her. 861 00:44:16,387 --> 00:44:17,411 No! 862 00:44:17,588 --> 00:44:19,522 - Are you kidding me? - Guys, it's Katie. 863 00:44:19,690 --> 00:44:21,282 She's gonna be fine in like an hour. 864 00:44:21,492 --> 00:44:23,221 I just realized I'm really hammered... 865 00:44:23,394 --> 00:44:25,453 ...and I would really like to dance. 866 00:44:25,629 --> 00:44:26,960 I'm dancing too. 867 00:44:27,131 --> 00:44:29,929 This reminds me of our senior prom. 868 00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:32,091 You still won't give me a hand job, right? 869 00:44:45,816 --> 00:44:47,078 Oh, God. 870 00:44:53,090 --> 00:44:56,719 It's amazing that you're still so tight with your high school friends. 871 00:44:56,894 --> 00:44:58,759 None of mine moved back after college. 872 00:44:58,929 --> 00:45:01,762 Yeah, it's a... I don't know, it's maybe corny to say... 873 00:45:01,932 --> 00:45:03,797 ...but these guys and gals are kind of like... 874 00:45:03,967 --> 00:45:06,458 ...the closest thing I've got to a family these days. 875 00:45:06,637 --> 00:45:09,765 That's why the house, the summer house, it's like our rec center. 876 00:45:10,274 --> 00:45:12,606 I think we're getting an offer on the rec center. 877 00:45:13,977 --> 00:45:15,239 My dad will be thrilled. 878 00:45:15,412 --> 00:45:16,777 - I knew it. - What? 879 00:45:16,947 --> 00:45:19,347 I knew it wasn't a family decision to sell the house. 880 00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:22,815 No. We're not big into family decisions anymore. 881 00:45:22,986 --> 00:45:25,250 My mom, she lives in Portland, Oregon... 882 00:45:25,422 --> 00:45:28,516 ...with this Reiki healer asshole. 883 00:45:28,692 --> 00:45:31,320 - Tell me exactly how you feel. - Oh, he's good. He's good. 884 00:45:31,495 --> 00:45:34,089 No, she's kind of out of the picture. 885 00:45:34,264 --> 00:45:36,824 Her doing. Yeah, it's just me and my dad. 886 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,594 Well, your dad seems like a fun guy. 887 00:45:39,770 --> 00:45:40,794 Yeah? 888 00:45:40,971 --> 00:45:42,996 Yeah, yeah, he's very fun. He's a hoot. 889 00:45:43,173 --> 00:45:45,971 Kind of like being raised by an older fraternity brother. 890 00:45:46,143 --> 00:45:48,668 - He hit on me a little bit. - No. 891 00:45:48,846 --> 00:45:50,973 - He ask you to play golf? - Yes. 892 00:45:51,148 --> 00:45:53,480 That's his move. He's very good at golf. Very good. 893 00:45:53,650 --> 00:45:56,813 But he did it right in front of Cherie and she had no idea. 894 00:45:56,987 --> 00:45:58,511 Neither did my mom for a while. 895 00:45:58,889 --> 00:46:00,823 Now if you will excuse me... 896 00:46:00,991 --> 00:46:02,891 ...I have to win this game if you don't mind. 897 00:46:03,093 --> 00:46:05,789 - Does this make you? - It's a little distracting. 898 00:46:05,963 --> 00:46:07,897 - That's not distracting at all. - Jesus. 899 00:46:08,098 --> 00:46:10,396 I lied. It was a little distracting. 900 00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,769 Help. 901 00:46:19,176 --> 00:46:22,873 Yeah. What do you think this is, an underground sex club? 902 00:46:23,547 --> 00:46:25,174 Do you have any idea where you're going? 903 00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:27,374 He said come in through the warehouse entrance. 904 00:46:27,551 --> 00:46:28,711 You got rubbers on you? 905 00:46:28,886 --> 00:46:29,910 - No. - What? 906 00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,054 We are here to observe. That is all. 907 00:46:32,222 --> 00:46:34,315 It's a sex club. Semper fi. Always prepared. 908 00:46:34,491 --> 00:46:37,255 - You know what I mean? - Doesn't that mean "always faithful"? 909 00:46:37,427 --> 00:46:39,520 Hey, who took Latin in seventh grade? 910 00:46:39,696 --> 00:46:42,927 Moi, okay? I brought a pack with me if you need one. 911 00:46:43,133 --> 00:46:44,930 - Give me the signal. - I won't need one. 912 00:46:45,135 --> 00:46:47,160 - Altoid? - Yeah. 913 00:46:50,774 --> 00:46:51,832 What do you want? 914 00:46:52,009 --> 00:46:54,170 The password is chandelier. 915 00:46:56,847 --> 00:46:57,871 Who's your connection? 916 00:46:58,048 --> 00:47:01,108 - Vic George, friend of my uncle's. - Yeah. He told me to expect you. 917 00:47:01,285 --> 00:47:02,377 Come on in. 918 00:47:06,924 --> 00:47:09,757 So welcome to the Paradiso. 919 00:47:14,031 --> 00:47:15,055 What the fuck? 920 00:47:15,599 --> 00:47:17,032 - Can I take your clothes? - No. 921 00:47:17,201 --> 00:47:18,429 - You sure? - Yeah, I'm sure. 922 00:47:18,602 --> 00:47:19,728 - Okay, follow me. - Yeah. 923 00:47:19,903 --> 00:47:22,064 - This is Bill. - Hey, Bill. 924 00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:23,934 That was a panda. 925 00:47:24,107 --> 00:47:25,199 Go easy on that thing. 926 00:47:25,375 --> 00:47:27,400 Didi, Ginger. 927 00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:29,236 Clambake. 928 00:47:29,413 --> 00:47:31,643 - Good look at that. That's pretty cool. - Yeah. 929 00:47:31,815 --> 00:47:34,807 This group right here. They're crazy, crazy, crazy. 930 00:47:35,385 --> 00:47:39,378 Okay. If you guys get a shot, get in the swing. You will love it. 931 00:47:39,556 --> 00:47:41,285 My grandma has that thing. 932 00:47:41,458 --> 00:47:43,050 Another time, probably. 933 00:47:43,227 --> 00:47:44,956 You need anything, just ask for Fred. 934 00:47:45,128 --> 00:47:47,153 - Oh, Fred's Beds? - That's a different Fred. 935 00:47:47,331 --> 00:47:48,389 I'm a dentist. 936 00:47:48,565 --> 00:47:51,659 Vic, he is over there in the futon section. All right? 937 00:47:51,835 --> 00:47:52,995 - Okay. - Have a good time. 938 00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:54,227 Thanks, Dr. Fred. 939 00:47:54,404 --> 00:47:55,496 You guys be good. 940 00:47:56,206 --> 00:47:58,436 Should've had this guy at the wedding. 941 00:47:58,775 --> 00:48:00,834 Love the new Price is Right. 942 00:48:08,485 --> 00:48:10,248 What are you doing? 943 00:48:12,356 --> 00:48:14,153 - Oh, my God. - Oh, fuck. 944 00:48:14,324 --> 00:48:15,655 Vic? 945 00:48:15,826 --> 00:48:18,090 - Hey, Mikey. - Hey. 946 00:48:18,262 --> 00:48:19,695 Little McCrudden. 947 00:48:19,863 --> 00:48:22,627 - Holy shit, you've grown. - Yeah. 948 00:48:22,799 --> 00:48:24,460 - How you doing, baby? - Good, good. 949 00:48:25,302 --> 00:48:27,463 - How's your folks? - Good, they're on a cruise. 950 00:48:27,638 --> 00:48:29,503 Mom got her pound cake recipe published. 951 00:48:29,673 --> 00:48:32,039 This is my buddy Eric. Eric, Vic. 952 00:48:32,242 --> 00:48:33,971 Your mom's a good woman. 953 00:48:34,845 --> 00:48:36,107 Oh, how you doing, man? 954 00:48:37,147 --> 00:48:39,047 Yeah. Good to meet you. 955 00:48:39,249 --> 00:48:40,273 This is Ellen. 956 00:48:40,450 --> 00:48:41,474 - Ellen. - Hi, guys. 957 00:48:41,652 --> 00:48:43,051 - Hi. - Eric and Mikey. 958 00:48:43,253 --> 00:48:44,845 It's Mike. I go by Mike now. 959 00:48:45,022 --> 00:48:46,683 First time at the Paradiso, guys? 960 00:48:48,258 --> 00:48:50,055 Got a couple of cherries to pop. 961 00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:52,820 Come on, guys, take off the clothes and get fucking. 962 00:48:52,996 --> 00:48:56,397 No. No fucking. No. Actually, no, no. We're here more doing research... 963 00:48:56,566 --> 00:48:58,693 ...than anything else. We're gonna throw an orgy. 964 00:48:58,869 --> 00:49:01,201 We were hoping we can get a little advice. 965 00:49:01,371 --> 00:49:03,999 I see. Let's powwow over at the snack nook. 966 00:49:04,174 --> 00:49:05,766 - Snack nook is good. - Snack nook. 967 00:49:06,009 --> 00:49:07,340 Just let me finish up here. 968 00:49:07,511 --> 00:49:09,035 - No rush. - Rush if you want. 969 00:49:09,212 --> 00:49:10,873 Rush a little. 970 00:49:11,048 --> 00:49:14,074 Come on, cowboy. Time to shine. 971 00:49:15,152 --> 00:49:17,677 Yeah. Almost. Let's keep going, just a second. 972 00:49:17,854 --> 00:49:19,412 I'll be right there, just a second. 973 00:49:19,589 --> 00:49:20,817 There we go. 974 00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,421 Look at me, not her. 975 00:49:26,496 --> 00:49:29,590 - Look at me, not her. Look at me. - I'm not gonna look at him. 976 00:49:31,601 --> 00:49:34,934 Did your brother finish college? I know he switched a couple schools. 977 00:49:35,105 --> 00:49:36,163 - Yeah. - Yeah. 978 00:49:37,741 --> 00:49:39,333 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 979 00:49:39,509 --> 00:49:41,807 Do me a favor, count me down. 980 00:49:42,512 --> 00:49:45,037 Five, four, three... 981 00:49:45,215 --> 00:49:47,547 - Go back to 10! - Ten, nine, eight... 982 00:49:48,518 --> 00:49:51,112 Your mom's a good woman. 983 00:49:51,555 --> 00:49:53,250 A little early on that one. 984 00:49:56,827 --> 00:49:59,921 He just said your mom's a good woman when he ejaculated... 985 00:50:00,097 --> 00:50:01,121 ...just so you know. 986 00:50:05,702 --> 00:50:08,364 Holy shit, I got a second one. 987 00:50:08,605 --> 00:50:10,232 Holy shit. 988 00:50:17,581 --> 00:50:20,778 So you kids are gonna have an orgy? 989 00:50:26,156 --> 00:50:29,592 So, Vic, as someone that's clearly done this type of thing... 990 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:33,287 ...thousands of times, I'm guessing, we could really use your expertise. 991 00:50:33,463 --> 00:50:36,159 How do we make sure that the women are into it? 992 00:50:36,366 --> 00:50:37,924 - The women? - Yeah. 993 00:50:38,101 --> 00:50:40,661 Don't worry about the women, worry about you guys. 994 00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:43,305 Us? What? 995 00:50:43,473 --> 00:50:45,907 Women are in touch with their sexuality. 996 00:50:46,076 --> 00:50:50,376 Guys are much more likely to freak out at the sight of someone else's junk. 997 00:50:51,081 --> 00:50:52,378 Taquito? 998 00:50:55,652 --> 00:50:57,847 No, thanks. I ate just before I came. 999 00:50:58,021 --> 00:51:01,787 You see? This is what I'm talking about. You're scared shitless. 1000 00:51:01,958 --> 00:51:04,017 You won't even touch the taquito. 1001 00:51:04,194 --> 00:51:07,686 It's like it's a cock and you're afraid to put it in your mouth. 1002 00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:11,095 I swear to God, I had a bacon cheeseburger, like 45 minutes ago. 1003 00:51:13,303 --> 00:51:15,100 - Hi. - Hi. 1004 00:51:15,272 --> 00:51:17,706 Okay, so how do we make it happen? 1005 00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:20,376 You can't make an orgy happen. 1006 00:51:20,544 --> 00:51:22,375 It has to evolve organically. 1007 00:51:22,546 --> 00:51:25,014 Just because you have a bunch of naked people in the room... 1008 00:51:25,182 --> 00:51:27,013 ...doesn't mean you're all going to get it on. 1009 00:51:27,184 --> 00:51:29,778 You might just need a really intense conversation. 1010 00:51:29,953 --> 00:51:32,547 Sometimes a girl just wants to have a heart-to-heart... 1011 00:51:32,722 --> 00:51:34,417 ...and she ends up pulling a train. 1012 00:51:34,825 --> 00:51:36,725 Pulling a train? 1013 00:51:37,294 --> 00:51:38,784 Yeah, you know. A train. 1014 00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:45,530 That's a choo-choo train. Thank you. 1015 00:51:45,702 --> 00:51:47,636 Hey. Ellen, hello. 1016 00:51:47,971 --> 00:51:49,836 - Vic. - Two-minute warning. 1017 00:51:50,140 --> 00:51:51,573 I'm ready whenever you are. 1018 00:51:52,676 --> 00:51:54,644 She always is. 1019 00:51:55,579 --> 00:51:57,069 - One more thing. - Yes. 1020 00:51:57,247 --> 00:51:59,841 Every wolf pack has a leader. I take it you're the lead wolf? 1021 00:52:00,016 --> 00:52:03,383 - Fucking A. - Yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. 1022 00:52:03,553 --> 00:52:06,078 Well, then it's all on your shoulders. 1023 00:52:06,256 --> 00:52:09,748 If you don't run, nobody behind you can run. 1024 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,690 - Oh, that's good. - What does that mean? What do I do? 1025 00:52:12,863 --> 00:52:15,161 You have to get naked. 1026 00:52:16,199 --> 00:52:18,030 Okay. 1027 00:52:18,568 --> 00:52:20,092 I get that. 1028 00:52:20,270 --> 00:52:22,568 Not just your body. 1029 00:52:22,906 --> 00:52:28,173 You've gotta get naked in your mind, in your heart, in your soul. 1030 00:52:28,345 --> 00:52:30,836 You've gotta be honest with yourself and everybody... 1031 00:52:31,014 --> 00:52:35,007 ...about what you want. If you're a pegger, be honest about that. 1032 00:52:35,185 --> 00:52:36,675 - Okay. - If you're polyamorous... 1033 00:52:36,853 --> 00:52:37,877 ...put it out there. 1034 00:52:38,054 --> 00:52:40,215 You want to put on a diaper, embrace it. 1035 00:52:40,390 --> 00:52:43,416 But trust me, if you put up walls, everybody's gonna put up walls. 1036 00:52:43,593 --> 00:52:45,356 The whole thing is dead in the water. 1037 00:52:45,529 --> 00:52:47,121 What is a pegger? 1038 00:52:47,297 --> 00:52:49,288 Chick fucks a dude up the ass with a strap-on. 1039 00:52:49,799 --> 00:52:53,633 Yeah, not really my bag, but like I always say... 1040 00:52:53,803 --> 00:52:56,431 ...l'm willing to try anything twice. 1041 00:52:57,507 --> 00:52:58,599 I always say it. 1042 00:53:00,377 --> 00:53:01,435 Hey, guys. Hey! 1043 00:53:01,945 --> 00:53:04,277 Hello, senator. Hello. 1044 00:53:05,715 --> 00:53:08,309 This is a lot to process. 1045 00:53:08,518 --> 00:53:09,883 You listen to me. 1046 00:53:10,287 --> 00:53:14,155 You can't force it and you can't fake it. 1047 00:53:14,324 --> 00:53:16,485 So you better cut the bullshit... 1048 00:53:16,660 --> 00:53:20,096 ...nut up, and be a man. 1049 00:53:21,898 --> 00:53:23,388 Now if you'll excuse me... 1050 00:53:23,567 --> 00:53:25,762 ...I feel the blood rushing back to my sword. 1051 00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:27,733 I noticed that. 1052 00:53:29,105 --> 00:53:31,471 Well, hey, Vic, thank you. This is all good stuff. 1053 00:53:31,641 --> 00:53:33,472 - Good advice. - Yeah. Good. Thank you. 1054 00:53:33,643 --> 00:53:34,667 My pleasure, guys. 1055 00:53:34,844 --> 00:53:37,039 - Okay, watch that thing. - This is unnecessary. 1056 00:53:37,414 --> 00:53:39,177 Watch that thing. 1057 00:53:39,616 --> 00:53:41,140 Good luck. 1058 00:53:42,185 --> 00:53:43,516 Oh, one more thing. 1059 00:53:43,687 --> 00:53:46,679 Buy some scented candles. It helps hide the smell of ass. 1060 00:53:46,856 --> 00:53:48,756 Okay. Good, good, good. 1061 00:53:48,925 --> 00:53:50,916 Smart. Smart, smart, smart. 1062 00:53:51,094 --> 00:53:52,288 Don't eat anything here. 1063 00:53:52,462 --> 00:53:54,157 - You son of a bitch. - Don't. 1064 00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:03,202 - Holy shit, is that...? - Oh, boy. 1065 00:54:03,373 --> 00:54:05,773 Keep going. Don't let her see you. 1066 00:54:09,512 --> 00:54:11,104 Hey, what the fuck? 1067 00:54:14,851 --> 00:54:16,819 - Man, oh, man. All right. - That was good? 1068 00:54:16,987 --> 00:54:18,284 - That was good. - Yeah. 1069 00:54:18,455 --> 00:54:19,547 Yeah, okay, here we go. 1070 00:54:19,723 --> 00:54:21,623 - You ready? - Showtime. 1071 00:54:22,659 --> 00:54:25,127 Sh... Shit. 1072 00:54:25,295 --> 00:54:26,557 - I'm gonna count that. - Okay. 1073 00:54:26,730 --> 00:54:28,391 I'm gonna count that there. Okay. 1074 00:54:28,598 --> 00:54:31,294 Yeah, it's juvenile. I've been meaning to ask you something. 1075 00:54:31,468 --> 00:54:33,959 - What? - What's Dody like as a boss? 1076 00:54:34,137 --> 00:54:37,732 She just seems like she could be a little, you know, domineering. 1077 00:54:37,907 --> 00:54:41,673 Oh, my gosh, no. I mean, she's not what you think, you know. 1078 00:54:41,845 --> 00:54:44,143 I mean, of course, at work she's all business... 1079 00:54:44,314 --> 00:54:46,578 ...but, Eric, she has traveled the world. 1080 00:54:46,750 --> 00:54:49,014 - No shit. - She speaks all these languages. 1081 00:54:49,185 --> 00:54:51,653 She's just full of surprises. 1082 00:54:51,821 --> 00:54:53,345 Oh, I bet she is. 1083 00:54:53,523 --> 00:54:55,650 I bet she's been places I can only imagine. 1084 00:54:55,992 --> 00:54:58,825 So, like, now that you're super into me... 1085 00:55:00,497 --> 00:55:03,227 No, there's something I actually have to tell you. 1086 00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:04,867 - Sincerely I... - Really? 1087 00:55:05,035 --> 00:55:07,003 Yeah, I kind of misled you. 1088 00:55:07,170 --> 00:55:09,866 What you saw today was not an actual representation... 1089 00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,031 ...of my Frisbee golf skills. 1090 00:55:12,208 --> 00:55:14,335 Yeah. I let you win. 1091 00:55:14,511 --> 00:55:16,172 - Really? - Yeah. 1092 00:55:16,346 --> 00:55:18,337 So I want a rematch. Like, bigtime. 1093 00:55:19,215 --> 00:55:21,683 Or you could just stick to sucking at pool. 1094 00:55:31,394 --> 00:55:32,622 One more. 1095 00:55:32,796 --> 00:55:34,024 - That's it, though. - No. 1096 00:55:34,197 --> 00:55:36,256 That was the last one. That's for the road. 1097 00:55:36,433 --> 00:55:37,525 I will call you. 1098 00:55:37,901 --> 00:55:39,801 - Okay. - All right. 1099 00:55:39,969 --> 00:55:42,028 - See you. - Hey... 1100 00:55:43,206 --> 00:55:45,538 What are you doing for Labor Day? 1101 00:55:46,576 --> 00:55:48,976 Oh, yeah. Is that...? Yeah, Labor Day. 1102 00:55:49,179 --> 00:55:50,942 You know what? 1103 00:55:51,114 --> 00:55:53,810 The guys and the crew, we're all gonna... 1104 00:55:53,983 --> 00:55:55,883 We're doing this small little thing... 1105 00:55:56,052 --> 00:55:58,543 ...this intimate little thing. Nothing... Nothing special. 1106 00:55:58,722 --> 00:56:01,213 Well, I was thinking that maybe, you know... 1107 00:56:01,391 --> 00:56:04,053 ...your friends and my friends could get together. 1108 00:56:04,227 --> 00:56:05,455 Yeah. 1109 00:56:05,628 --> 00:56:07,061 - Oh, that sounds great. - Yeah? 1110 00:56:07,230 --> 00:56:09,130 We should definitely look into that maybe. 1111 00:56:09,299 --> 00:56:10,732 Yeah. It'd be fun. 1112 00:56:10,900 --> 00:56:13,630 So, wait, Eric, is that...? Is that a maybe? 1113 00:56:13,803 --> 00:56:15,600 Yeah, it's a maybe. It's a definite maybe. 1114 00:56:15,772 --> 00:56:19,139 It's a hard, hard maybe. We should definitely think about doing that. 1115 00:56:19,309 --> 00:56:21,573 Let's lock it in as a possibility. 1116 00:56:21,745 --> 00:56:22,939 - Okay. - Okay. 1117 00:56:23,113 --> 00:56:25,343 I'll call you about it. 1118 00:56:25,515 --> 00:56:28,609 - Or write you. - Okay. 1119 00:56:28,785 --> 00:56:31,083 Carrier pigeon. Something. I'll get a hold of you. 1120 00:56:31,254 --> 00:56:32,949 - Good night, Eric. - Good night, Kelly. 1121 00:56:50,473 --> 00:56:51,804 - Hey. - Hi. 1122 00:56:51,975 --> 00:56:54,170 - What are you doing up? - Oh, I never went down. 1123 00:56:54,344 --> 00:56:56,505 Stayed up drinking with a dude from Blues Traveler... 1124 00:56:56,679 --> 00:57:00,115 ...in the Talkhouse parking lot. Like an hour ago, fucking dude says... 1125 00:57:00,283 --> 00:57:04,617 ...the bubonic plague is back. - Great. Another thing to worry about. 1126 00:57:06,189 --> 00:57:07,781 What are you doing up? 1127 00:57:08,158 --> 00:57:10,649 I got a bit of a situation. 1128 00:57:10,827 --> 00:57:12,624 Hit me. 1129 00:57:12,796 --> 00:57:16,459 Okay, but first off, you can't tell anyone. 1130 00:57:16,633 --> 00:57:18,396 Dude, look who you're talking to. 1131 00:57:18,568 --> 00:57:20,331 - It's the vault. - Seriously. 1132 00:57:20,503 --> 00:57:22,869 A lot of people tell people you can't tell someone... 1133 00:57:23,039 --> 00:57:25,974 ...and those people go and tell someone. That cannot happen. 1134 00:57:26,142 --> 00:57:28,474 Hey. You tell no one. 1135 00:57:28,645 --> 00:57:30,306 Not even Rodrigo? 1136 00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:33,813 Why would you tell a 50-year-old Guatemalan landscaper about my life? 1137 00:57:33,983 --> 00:57:36,508 Because he's a good sounding board, okay? 1138 00:57:36,686 --> 00:57:39,849 But if you're gonna get all weird about it, I won't tell Rodrigo. 1139 00:57:40,023 --> 00:57:42,014 I appreciate it. 1140 00:57:42,992 --> 00:57:44,892 I went on a date last night. 1141 00:57:45,061 --> 00:57:46,323 So far, so good. 1142 00:57:46,496 --> 00:57:47,520 With the Realtor chick. 1143 00:57:48,531 --> 00:57:50,021 Dody Henderson? Did she peg you? 1144 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,998 No, not Dody. I went out with Kelly. 1145 00:57:53,169 --> 00:57:54,329 Oh, thank the Lord. 1146 00:57:54,504 --> 00:57:56,495 I felt bad for your butt hole for a minute. 1147 00:57:56,673 --> 00:57:57,697 Yeah. 1148 00:57:57,874 --> 00:58:02,072 Yeah, and I think we've got a problem because... 1149 00:58:03,012 --> 00:58:04,673 ...I really kind of dig her now. 1150 00:58:06,349 --> 00:58:08,681 I don't know what to do about the orgy situation. 1151 00:58:08,852 --> 00:58:10,217 Are you fucking with me? 1152 00:58:10,386 --> 00:58:12,513 I know. What are the odds? 1153 00:58:12,689 --> 00:58:14,418 I mean, seriously, I'm smack dab... 1154 00:58:14,591 --> 00:58:16,252 ...in the middle of organizing an orgy. 1155 00:58:16,426 --> 00:58:17,757 - Orgy, yeah. - Yes. Yeah. 1156 00:58:17,927 --> 00:58:20,361 And I meet the first girl in a long time... 1157 00:58:20,530 --> 00:58:23,055 ...that I can see myself having a relationship with. 1158 00:58:24,601 --> 00:58:25,932 I gotta tell her about the orgy. 1159 00:58:26,102 --> 00:58:28,036 What? 1160 00:58:28,204 --> 00:58:30,536 No. No. It's so stupid. 1161 00:58:30,707 --> 00:58:32,937 No. Listen to me. No, no. 1162 00:58:33,109 --> 00:58:36,601 You don't ever, ever, ever tell her about our little soiree here. 1163 00:58:36,779 --> 00:58:38,212 Ever. 1164 00:58:38,381 --> 00:58:39,871 Have you porked her yet? 1165 00:58:40,049 --> 00:58:42,381 Oh, goddamn it, Mike. I hate when you say stuff. 1166 00:58:42,552 --> 00:58:44,577 No. No, we've kissed. 1167 00:58:44,754 --> 00:58:46,449 Kissed, good. Okay, good. 1168 00:58:46,623 --> 00:58:50,115 Keep it PG until after Labor Day, okay? As long as you haven't had... 1169 00:58:50,293 --> 00:58:52,591 ...the exclusivity talk, and you're not boning... 1170 00:58:52,762 --> 00:58:54,559 - Yeah, I know. - Then you, my friend... 1171 00:58:54,731 --> 00:58:55,891 ...are a free agent. 1172 00:58:56,065 --> 00:58:57,999 I don't know, dude. 1173 00:58:58,167 --> 00:59:02,228 Listen to me. You do not know what or who... 1174 00:59:02,405 --> 00:59:04,270 ...she's been doing in her free time, ace. 1175 00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:07,637 So just keep it in your pants until après Labor Day... 1176 00:59:07,810 --> 00:59:09,437 ...and then it'll just be this crazy... 1177 00:59:09,612 --> 00:59:12,740 ...wet, vivid, erotic... 1178 00:59:12,916 --> 00:59:16,249 ...sexual misadventure in your past... 1179 00:59:16,419 --> 00:59:19,252 ...that you never have to tell her about. 1180 00:59:23,593 --> 00:59:24,617 Okay. 1181 00:59:24,794 --> 00:59:26,762 - Okay? - All right, that's the plan. 1182 00:59:26,930 --> 00:59:29,990 Thank you. That was oddly helpful. 1183 00:59:30,166 --> 00:59:33,101 I am not just a pretty face. 1184 00:59:36,039 --> 00:59:38,030 Daddy really needs to get in shape. 1185 00:59:38,207 --> 00:59:40,266 Oh, I'm with you. I may even cut out carbs... 1186 00:59:40,443 --> 00:59:42,843 ...except for pizza and sandwiches, obviously. 1187 00:59:43,546 --> 00:59:47,448 Are you guys worried at all about performing in front of everyone else? 1188 00:59:48,151 --> 00:59:50,142 Look, it's not a race. 1189 00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:52,345 Well, assuming that we can all get wood... 1190 00:59:52,522 --> 00:59:54,285 ...one of us will have the smallest dick. 1191 00:59:54,457 --> 00:59:57,324 And I, for one, do not wanna have the smallest dick. 1192 00:59:57,493 --> 00:59:58,517 Okay. Two things. 1193 00:59:58,695 --> 01:00:02,290 The ladies are gonna be too concerned about their bodies to think about yours. 1194 01:00:02,465 --> 01:00:04,797 And secondly, that's all myth. 1195 01:00:05,702 --> 01:00:07,465 Women do not care about penis size. 1196 01:00:07,637 --> 01:00:10,037 Who do you think has the biggest dick? 1197 01:00:10,206 --> 01:00:11,298 I think I know. 1198 01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:16,209 You're next up, laddie. 1199 01:00:17,246 --> 01:00:20,010 No one fucking said anything about giving any fucking blood. 1200 01:00:20,183 --> 01:00:23,209 And can someone explain why they need to puncture your vein... 1201 01:00:23,386 --> 01:00:25,650 ...to find out if there's a problem with your shvantz? 1202 01:00:25,822 --> 01:00:28,052 Summer after freshman year... 1203 01:00:28,224 --> 01:00:32,183 - Yeah? - I walked in on one of the guys... 1204 01:00:32,362 --> 01:00:34,262 ...whacking off. 1205 01:00:34,464 --> 01:00:36,557 - Shut up. Who? - I won't say. 1206 01:00:36,733 --> 01:00:38,098 No, no, no, who? Who? Who? 1207 01:00:38,267 --> 01:00:43,864 I'm not gonna tell you, but I will say that it was a monster. 1208 01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:46,702 Hey. That is my blood. 1209 01:00:46,876 --> 01:00:48,343 That used to be inside you. 1210 01:00:48,511 --> 01:00:49,569 I'm gonna lie down. 1211 01:00:49,746 --> 01:00:51,373 What? Duquez, Duquez! 1212 01:00:51,547 --> 01:00:53,515 You gotta give us ballpark... Right, right. 1213 01:00:53,683 --> 01:00:54,707 Like is that? 1214 01:00:54,884 --> 01:00:57,045 It's more like... It was like that. 1215 01:00:57,220 --> 01:00:58,585 - What? - But the head. 1216 01:00:58,755 --> 01:01:00,279 - What? - It's even bigger. 1217 01:01:00,490 --> 01:01:01,684 Mama likes. 1218 01:01:01,858 --> 01:01:03,689 I don't know if you're gonna like it. 1219 01:01:05,795 --> 01:01:08,127 Oh, hi. 1220 01:01:08,297 --> 01:01:09,525 Eric? 1221 01:01:09,699 --> 01:01:11,963 Kelly. We're just heading back to the city. 1222 01:01:12,135 --> 01:01:13,932 - We'll be in touch this week. - Good. 1223 01:01:14,103 --> 01:01:15,127 Regarding the house. 1224 01:01:15,304 --> 01:01:18,205 Of course, the house, yes. Yeah, I'll page you. 1225 01:01:20,710 --> 01:01:23,076 - Dody. - Eric. 1226 01:01:23,246 --> 01:01:25,111 The password this week is unicorn. 1227 01:01:26,282 --> 01:01:28,307 Well, I don't know if that'll be nece... 1228 01:01:44,333 --> 01:01:46,801 We're here to share our experiences... 1229 01:01:46,969 --> 01:01:50,735 ...in creating the perfect orgy of your personal fantasies. 1230 01:01:55,845 --> 01:01:58,313 See that? Everybody's always touching two people. 1231 01:01:58,481 --> 01:02:00,244 A little teamwork. 1232 01:02:00,416 --> 01:02:01,940 They're playing good team ball. 1233 01:02:02,118 --> 01:02:04,416 Okay, I think we get the picture. 1234 01:02:11,494 --> 01:02:13,189 McCrudds, you want some pizza? 1235 01:02:13,362 --> 01:02:14,989 No, I'm not hungry. Thank you. 1236 01:02:15,164 --> 01:02:17,257 Got an all-l-can-eat buffet going right here. 1237 01:02:18,468 --> 01:02:20,333 - Let me try. - Try this. 1238 01:02:20,937 --> 01:02:22,268 What is that? 1239 01:02:25,942 --> 01:02:26,966 Shit! 1240 01:02:27,143 --> 01:02:29,441 Oh, he's doing my move. Look at that. 1241 01:02:29,612 --> 01:02:31,603 He knows the Thoosh. 1242 01:02:34,584 --> 01:02:37,348 Hey, you guys? Guys. Back to the music. Are we...? 1243 01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:40,284 Are we really gonna listen to Indian the whole night? 1244 01:02:40,456 --> 01:02:43,152 - I think it might get a little... - Cab ride-y? Agreed. Yeah. 1245 01:02:43,326 --> 01:02:45,624 I'm working on a killer playlist right now. 1246 01:02:45,795 --> 01:02:47,456 Got some obscure Radiohead. 1247 01:02:47,630 --> 01:02:49,655 Who has sex to Radiohead? 1248 01:02:49,832 --> 01:02:51,663 Thom Yorke. 1249 01:02:51,834 --> 01:02:53,199 No Radiohead. No Radiohead. 1250 01:02:53,369 --> 01:02:56,497 I think we need something sensual, like Sting. 1251 01:02:56,672 --> 01:02:58,037 - I love Sting. - No. 1252 01:02:58,207 --> 01:03:00,471 Unacceptable. Absolutely not fucking Sting. 1253 01:03:00,643 --> 01:03:03,305 That's bullshit, man. If Sting comes on the fucking stereo... 1254 01:03:03,479 --> 01:03:04,912 ...guess who's walking. This guy. 1255 01:03:05,114 --> 01:03:07,139 Sting, it is then. 1256 01:03:09,352 --> 01:03:11,877 - So I... - Yeah? 1257 01:03:12,054 --> 01:03:13,351 Got you a little present. 1258 01:03:13,523 --> 01:03:14,547 Really? 1259 01:03:14,924 --> 01:03:17,415 It's filled with some great things for next weekend. 1260 01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:18,651 It's not my birthday. 1261 01:03:20,062 --> 01:03:22,155 - Hey. Look, oh, boy. - Yeah. 1262 01:03:22,331 --> 01:03:24,891 Oh, wow, look at that guy. He's like a Swiss Army dude. 1263 01:03:25,067 --> 01:03:27,331 Wow, that's great. People are gonna love that. 1264 01:03:27,503 --> 01:03:29,937 Just so you know... 1265 01:03:30,139 --> 01:03:32,039 I'm not wearing any underwear right now. 1266 01:03:32,208 --> 01:03:33,573 On these stools? 1267 01:03:33,743 --> 01:03:35,506 Well, well, well, the gang's all here. 1268 01:03:35,678 --> 01:03:37,373 Paciellio! 1269 01:03:37,547 --> 01:03:39,037 - Hi. - Paciellio. 1270 01:03:40,449 --> 01:03:42,246 - Hi, guys. - What's up? 1271 01:03:42,418 --> 01:03:44,215 We have some business to discuss. 1272 01:03:44,387 --> 01:03:50,019 Right. So Glenn and I have talked it over and... 1273 01:03:51,194 --> 01:03:53,594 ...we would like to be included in the orgy. 1274 01:03:55,198 --> 01:03:57,189 We're in. 1275 01:03:57,366 --> 01:03:58,424 We wanna do it. 1276 01:04:05,208 --> 01:04:06,232 No. 1277 01:04:06,409 --> 01:04:07,535 - Why not? What... - What? 1278 01:04:07,710 --> 01:04:09,541 We already lined up my folks to babysit. 1279 01:04:10,046 --> 01:04:13,482 Guys, guys, as a friend and a mental-health professional... 1280 01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:15,446 ...I think it is a horrible idea. 1281 01:04:15,618 --> 01:04:17,711 If you feel disconnected, I understand... 1282 01:04:17,887 --> 01:04:20,549 Alison, with all due respect... 1283 01:04:20,723 --> 01:04:23,055 ...you're an MA, I'm an MD. 1284 01:04:23,426 --> 01:04:24,916 You're a podiatrist. 1285 01:04:25,094 --> 01:04:26,755 Okay, let's take a vote. 1286 01:04:26,929 --> 01:04:29,159 - How many people want us in? - Right. 1287 01:04:29,332 --> 01:04:32,460 I would just like to say that I think they maybe have a point here. 1288 01:04:32,635 --> 01:04:35,934 Just because they have a baby doesn't mean we should discriminate. 1289 01:04:36,105 --> 01:04:39,302 Plus, Kate's rack is killer right now. 1290 01:04:39,475 --> 01:04:41,067 - Thank you, Michael. - Yeah. 1291 01:04:41,244 --> 01:04:44,736 Jesus, Mike, are you insane? No. No, no. 1292 01:04:44,914 --> 01:04:47,781 Dude, dude, dude, 10 o'clock. Ten o'clock. My 10, my 10. 1293 01:04:49,085 --> 01:04:50,416 Shit. 1294 01:04:50,586 --> 01:04:53,248 Hey! Look who it is. 1295 01:04:53,422 --> 01:04:54,912 Hi, there it is. 1296 01:04:55,091 --> 01:04:56,956 Hey, this is my Realtor, Kelly. 1297 01:04:57,126 --> 01:04:58,821 This is the group, the gang. 1298 01:04:58,995 --> 01:05:00,622 - Hi, Kelly. - Hi, Kelly. 1299 01:05:00,796 --> 01:05:03,162 Gosh, I've heard so much about all of you guys. 1300 01:05:03,332 --> 01:05:04,822 How? When? 1301 01:05:05,001 --> 01:05:07,595 What? Why? What's she talking about? Let's get a drink. 1302 01:05:07,770 --> 01:05:09,362 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1303 01:05:10,506 --> 01:05:13,304 You think we couldn't handle this because we're parents? 1304 01:05:13,476 --> 01:05:16,468 Well, we can handle shit that you can't even imagine. 1305 01:05:16,646 --> 01:05:19,206 You know, you motherfuckers have no idea. 1306 01:05:19,382 --> 01:05:20,781 - That's right. - No idea. 1307 01:05:20,950 --> 01:05:23,111 - Come on. - You... You... 1308 01:05:23,286 --> 01:05:25,277 You're all lightweights. 1309 01:05:25,454 --> 01:05:28,218 You are all playing JV ball. 1310 01:05:28,391 --> 01:05:29,449 Lightweights. 1311 01:05:29,625 --> 01:05:31,490 - All right, Glenn. - Come on, honey. 1312 01:05:32,528 --> 01:05:35,827 On a lighter note, I have this present. 1313 01:05:38,301 --> 01:05:39,461 Dildos. 1314 01:05:39,635 --> 01:05:42,536 You know, in a pinch, this would be great for a toothbrush. 1315 01:05:45,474 --> 01:05:46,998 And I have no idea what this is. 1316 01:05:47,176 --> 01:05:49,474 Hey, Eric, what's up with all the dildos? 1317 01:05:49,645 --> 01:05:52,637 Hey, those are my friends. Hey, what's going on with the house? 1318 01:05:52,815 --> 01:05:57,548 Um, I've been able to slow things down to buy you till the end of the summer. 1319 01:05:58,154 --> 01:05:59,678 - Really? - Yeah. 1320 01:06:00,423 --> 01:06:02,482 Oh, you're the best. 1321 01:06:04,827 --> 01:06:06,158 Thank you so much. 1322 01:06:06,329 --> 01:06:07,853 - What is that? - What? 1323 01:06:08,030 --> 01:06:09,554 - What's going on? - Nothing. 1324 01:06:09,732 --> 01:06:11,495 He told me not to tell anybody so... 1325 01:06:11,667 --> 01:06:12,998 - Yeah, okay. - You know. 1326 01:06:14,170 --> 01:06:15,728 - Keep it on the down-low. - Yeah. 1327 01:06:15,905 --> 01:06:17,702 He asked her out to get them to stall. 1328 01:06:17,873 --> 01:06:19,431 Went on a couple dates, likes her... 1329 01:06:19,608 --> 01:06:21,735 ...doesn't want to sleep with her before the orgy... 1330 01:06:21,911 --> 01:06:25,176 ...because it's wrong to do both. - He doesn't wanna sleep with her. 1331 01:06:25,348 --> 01:06:27,509 That actually means he likes her. 1332 01:06:27,683 --> 01:06:28,707 Awesome. 1333 01:06:28,884 --> 01:06:30,511 Hey. Dildo wave. 1334 01:06:30,686 --> 01:06:32,677 - Hi. - Hi. 1335 01:06:52,575 --> 01:06:55,135 Yo, maharajah, wanna get my back for me? 1336 01:06:55,344 --> 01:06:57,437 - What is this shit? - Self tanner, man. 1337 01:06:57,613 --> 01:06:59,444 I wanna look like a porn star. 1338 01:06:59,615 --> 01:07:01,947 Fuck me, I just stroked out my third batch du jour. 1339 01:07:02,118 --> 01:07:04,552 You boys might wanna do the same. Don't wanna come quick... 1340 01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:08,850 ...like a bunch of amateurs. - Oh, God. I am not touching you. 1341 01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:11,884 Fuck it. I'm gonna whack it again. 1342 01:07:12,061 --> 01:07:14,791 - You look so pretty. - So do you. 1343 01:07:14,964 --> 01:07:15,988 Thank you. 1344 01:07:16,165 --> 01:07:17,564 I love it. 1345 01:07:17,733 --> 01:07:19,291 Consider yourself warned. 1346 01:07:19,468 --> 01:07:22,835 This absinthe is the real deal. I had it flown in from Amsterdam. 1347 01:07:23,005 --> 01:07:25,906 The guy that sold it to me said it's the stuff Van Gogh was on... 1348 01:07:26,075 --> 01:07:28,566 ...when he cut his ear off. - Oh, no. 1349 01:07:28,744 --> 01:07:30,473 It's gonna be a starry night, huh? 1350 01:07:30,646 --> 01:07:31,772 It smells like licorice. 1351 01:07:31,947 --> 01:07:34,279 A toast. A toast. 1352 01:07:34,450 --> 01:07:35,940 To friends. 1353 01:07:36,118 --> 01:07:37,483 To friends. 1354 01:07:37,653 --> 01:07:41,749 And to making sweet love with, to, near... 1355 01:07:41,924 --> 01:07:43,152 - On. - In. 1356 01:07:43,325 --> 01:07:45,418 Under. And behind. 1357 01:07:47,530 --> 01:07:49,498 All right, salud. 1358 01:07:55,104 --> 01:07:56,594 Sober. Never more. 1359 01:08:04,947 --> 01:08:06,608 The pillows look really nice. 1360 01:08:06,782 --> 01:08:08,113 Yeah. 1361 01:08:08,284 --> 01:08:10,184 These Crate and Barrel or? 1362 01:08:18,794 --> 01:08:19,818 You guys look great. 1363 01:08:19,995 --> 01:08:21,121 Oh, thanks. 1364 01:08:21,297 --> 01:08:22,628 You look so fucking hot. 1365 01:08:22,798 --> 01:08:25,631 I'm just being honest. I wanna lick your belly button. 1366 01:08:25,801 --> 01:08:28,827 And yours, your belly button's nice too. You got a good one too. 1367 01:08:29,004 --> 01:08:32,132 I haven't seen yours, but I'm gonna lick the shit out of that thing. 1368 01:08:33,809 --> 01:08:36,642 As the de facto lead wolf, right? 1369 01:08:36,812 --> 01:08:39,542 I... I should kick this mofo off... 1370 01:08:39,715 --> 01:08:42,843 ...but I gotta be honest with you. I have no idea what to do, so... 1371 01:08:43,018 --> 01:08:44,485 - Lead wolf? - Oh, yeah. 1372 01:08:44,653 --> 01:08:47,816 - You had to be there kind of. - Tut-tut-tut. Okay. 1373 01:08:47,990 --> 01:08:50,481 Listen up, everybody. As per usual... 1374 01:08:50,659 --> 01:08:53,526 ...it is up to me to get this party started. 1375 01:08:53,696 --> 01:08:55,323 Hang on. I got something for you. 1376 01:08:55,531 --> 01:08:56,998 Hang on a second, ladies. 1377 01:09:02,171 --> 01:09:04,605 - Yeah, rock 'n' roll. - Holy moly. 1378 01:09:04,773 --> 01:09:05,831 We're on safari now. 1379 01:09:06,008 --> 01:09:07,066 Yeah. 1380 01:09:07,243 --> 01:09:08,710 How many leopards had to die? 1381 01:09:08,878 --> 01:09:11,005 Just one big old kinky leopard. 1382 01:09:12,381 --> 01:09:13,746 They won't kick us out. 1383 01:09:13,916 --> 01:09:15,747 If we're here, they won't kick us out. 1384 01:09:15,918 --> 01:09:18,284 - Okay. - They won't do it. 1385 01:09:18,487 --> 01:09:21,479 And we're totally sure we wanna do this? 1386 01:09:22,491 --> 01:09:24,425 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1387 01:09:25,060 --> 01:09:26,721 Somebody do something. 1388 01:09:28,430 --> 01:09:31,194 All right? Anybody? 1389 01:09:32,034 --> 01:09:33,763 All right, fuck it. I'm gonna call it. 1390 01:09:34,003 --> 01:09:36,369 Sue, kiss Alison. I'm gonna start touching myself. 1391 01:09:36,539 --> 01:09:40,202 Oh. We could start with a back-rub circle like in college. 1392 01:09:42,945 --> 01:09:45,106 I'll get things started. 1393 01:09:45,281 --> 01:09:46,714 Yes. Yeah! 1394 01:09:46,882 --> 01:09:48,907 Here we go. 1395 01:09:49,752 --> 01:09:52,550 I'm sorry, I can't. I can't do this anymore. 1396 01:09:52,755 --> 01:09:54,552 I can't. I can't do this. I'm sorry. 1397 01:09:57,059 --> 01:09:58,083 I knew it. 1398 01:09:58,260 --> 01:10:00,387 I knew you'd fucking puss out, man. 1399 01:10:00,563 --> 01:10:02,793 I'm not pussing out. I'm in a relationship... 1400 01:10:02,965 --> 01:10:05,798 ...that I really appreciate. And I don't wanna fuck this up. 1401 01:10:05,968 --> 01:10:08,903 Classic Duquez. You know, it's like doughnuts, no doughnuts... 1402 01:10:09,071 --> 01:10:10,732 ...hat, no hat, orgy, no orgy. 1403 01:10:10,906 --> 01:10:12,737 We take a look-see through the window... 1404 01:10:12,908 --> 01:10:15,399 ...and if it looks, like, too freaky or lame... 1405 01:10:15,578 --> 01:10:17,102 - Yeah. ...we take off. 1406 01:10:17,279 --> 01:10:21,340 And if it looks, you know, cool, we go in. 1407 01:10:21,550 --> 01:10:23,142 - Okay? - Okay. 1408 01:10:23,319 --> 01:10:24,752 I'm not mad at you. 1409 01:10:24,920 --> 01:10:27,252 Eric, Eric. I love what's going on here... 1410 01:10:27,423 --> 01:10:29,482 ...but I don't think you need to insult. 1411 01:10:29,658 --> 01:10:32,354 - You should actually communicate. - My God, Alison, please. 1412 01:10:32,595 --> 01:10:35,928 - Give it a rest? Just one night? - You're uncomfortable with emotion. 1413 01:10:36,098 --> 01:10:38,589 Oh, yeah, I can't. I'm the only one here with issues. 1414 01:10:38,767 --> 01:10:41,429 It's just me? What about you and your relationship? 1415 01:10:41,604 --> 01:10:42,764 - We broke up. - You broke up? 1416 01:10:42,938 --> 01:10:43,962 - Yes. - You broke up? 1417 01:10:44,139 --> 01:10:47,438 Like you broke up a couple years ago at the Oktoberfest in July party? 1418 01:10:47,610 --> 01:10:49,669 - That kind? - What happened on Oktoberfest? 1419 01:10:49,845 --> 01:10:53,110 This one tells me that her and Marcus are broken up. Over. 1420 01:10:53,282 --> 01:10:56,308 We're joking, having drinks, she tells me about it, we hook up. 1421 01:10:56,485 --> 01:10:59,010 Next morning, she's having brunch with the guy. 1422 01:10:59,188 --> 01:11:01,486 Whoa, whoa, wait. What? 1423 01:11:01,657 --> 01:11:02,954 You never told me this. 1424 01:11:03,125 --> 01:11:06,856 I don't need to tell you because nothing happened. We didn't sleep together. 1425 01:11:07,029 --> 01:11:09,361 You told me it was a blowjob, she wouldn't swallow. 1426 01:11:09,531 --> 01:11:11,658 No, I did not, Mike. I did not say that. 1427 01:11:11,834 --> 01:11:14,359 - It was a fucking hand job. - Hand job. That's right. 1428 01:11:14,536 --> 01:11:16,527 It was a hand job. I'm sorry. My bad. 1429 01:11:16,705 --> 01:11:18,866 - Please don't go there. - No, no, no. 1430 01:11:19,041 --> 01:11:22,374 Alison, shut up. You're a hypocrite. 1431 01:11:22,544 --> 01:11:23,806 What's going on? 1432 01:11:23,979 --> 01:11:28,313 First of all, they're dressed like Indians from India. 1433 01:11:28,484 --> 01:11:30,384 - That makes much more sense. - Yeah. 1434 01:11:30,552 --> 01:11:33,316 - This is why I don't tell you. - You could've given him a blowjob. 1435 01:11:33,489 --> 01:11:35,889 - Why didn't you fuck him? - Why don't you get over it? 1436 01:11:36,125 --> 01:11:38,821 How long are you gonna be obsessed with Eric? 1437 01:11:39,828 --> 01:11:40,852 Oh, shit. 1438 01:11:41,897 --> 01:11:43,387 Wait, what? 1439 01:11:44,867 --> 01:11:46,835 Okay, okay. 1440 01:11:47,002 --> 01:11:49,163 "Urch" your brakes on, people. 1441 01:11:49,338 --> 01:11:51,863 We are rapidly losing the erotic vibe. 1442 01:11:52,508 --> 01:11:56,000 I'm gonna get this party rocking right here in a major way. 1443 01:11:56,178 --> 01:11:57,702 What you got, man? 1444 01:11:57,880 --> 01:12:00,246 Ready, set, here we go. 1445 01:12:00,416 --> 01:12:02,680 Let loose the Kraken. 1446 01:12:04,887 --> 01:12:07,856 Will you give it a break, Mike? This shit's pathetic. 1447 01:12:08,023 --> 01:12:10,583 Oh, fuck you. You fucking pussy. You're lame. 1448 01:12:10,759 --> 01:12:12,192 You're the lame one, man. 1449 01:12:12,361 --> 01:12:15,694 You don't have a job. You don't have a girlfriend. You follow Eric around... 1450 01:12:15,864 --> 01:12:19,197 ...and do everything he tells you to do. Like his little fucking pet. 1451 01:12:21,937 --> 01:12:23,529 Dougie. 1452 01:12:23,706 --> 01:12:24,730 Fuck you, Doug. 1453 01:12:29,478 --> 01:12:30,911 Is that what you think of me? 1454 01:12:31,080 --> 01:12:33,412 You think I'm his...? You think I'm his fucking pet? 1455 01:12:33,582 --> 01:12:35,243 No. 1456 01:12:35,984 --> 01:12:39,442 He meant pet in a nice way. 1457 01:12:42,224 --> 01:12:44,215 Is he fucking with me right now? 1458 01:12:44,693 --> 01:12:47,594 This is the worst orgy ever. 1459 01:12:47,763 --> 01:12:49,754 Should we just go home or? 1460 01:12:49,932 --> 01:12:51,399 No. 1461 01:12:51,567 --> 01:12:53,762 We already got a sitter. 1462 01:12:53,936 --> 01:12:56,427 You wanna go see a movie or you wanna...? 1463 01:13:00,242 --> 01:13:01,800 Okay, okay. All right, time out. 1464 01:13:01,977 --> 01:13:04,104 Time out. Time out, T.O., okay? 1465 01:13:04,279 --> 01:13:07,476 I think everyone just needs to take a deep breath. 1466 01:13:07,649 --> 01:13:08,911 All right? 1467 01:13:09,952 --> 01:13:13,353 We need to relax and chill out for a second, all right? 1468 01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:16,486 Where are you going? 1469 01:13:16,658 --> 01:13:18,751 I'm just going outside to get some fresh air. 1470 01:13:18,927 --> 01:13:20,417 Clear my head. 1471 01:13:23,599 --> 01:13:26,090 I swear to God, guys, I thought this was gonna be fun. 1472 01:13:49,792 --> 01:13:52,283 Oh, yeah, oh! 1473 01:13:52,461 --> 01:13:55,123 Why won't God just let me have an orgy? 1474 01:14:02,704 --> 01:14:05,969 Okay. All right, here we go. 1475 01:14:09,077 --> 01:14:11,307 - Eric. - Kelly. 1476 01:14:11,513 --> 01:14:14,141 What are you doing? I thought you were with your friends. 1477 01:14:14,316 --> 01:14:15,476 I know. I know. 1478 01:14:15,651 --> 01:14:17,175 Did you fly here on a carpet? 1479 01:14:17,352 --> 01:14:19,547 No. No, no. I... 1480 01:14:19,721 --> 01:14:22,656 It's a last-second costume concept for... 1481 01:14:22,825 --> 01:14:26,989 Look, l... I've been thinking about things and I realized something. 1482 01:14:27,796 --> 01:14:28,854 Oh, shit. 1483 01:14:29,031 --> 01:14:31,591 I thought we ordered pizza. What'd you get, Indian food? 1484 01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:35,327 I'm sorry. 1485 01:14:35,504 --> 01:14:38,371 I... Sorry to interrupt. Sorry. 1486 01:14:38,540 --> 01:14:41,270 Pete, give us a second? Hey, hey, hey, Eric. 1487 01:14:41,443 --> 01:14:43,001 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 1488 01:14:43,178 --> 01:14:44,236 - You didn't call. - I know. 1489 01:14:44,413 --> 01:14:47,075 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1490 01:14:47,249 --> 01:14:49,945 Oh, pizza? Really? 1491 01:14:50,118 --> 01:14:52,052 - I'm sorry. - No, that's all right. 1492 01:14:52,221 --> 01:14:54,018 - Hey, what's up, man? - Eighteen bucks. 1493 01:14:54,189 --> 01:14:55,679 Go, have fun. Hone... 1494 01:14:55,858 --> 01:14:58,019 Honestly. No biggie. 1495 01:14:58,193 --> 01:14:59,524 I'll call you tomorrow. 1496 01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:02,729 Bye. 1497 01:15:04,633 --> 01:15:08,569 Like I don't know that I don't have a girlfriend. 1498 01:15:08,737 --> 01:15:14,107 Like I'm not trying to remember that every fucking night of my life. 1499 01:15:14,276 --> 01:15:16,471 It's hard. 1500 01:15:21,884 --> 01:15:23,044 - Hey. - Hi. 1501 01:15:23,218 --> 01:15:26,210 - So where were we? - Where'd you go? 1502 01:15:26,388 --> 01:15:28,447 I know, I know, I know, I... 1503 01:15:28,624 --> 01:15:31,388 I'm sorry I left. You know, I... 1504 01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:35,929 I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I'm freaking out a little. 1505 01:15:38,901 --> 01:15:41,563 I have had the best times of my life... 1506 01:15:41,737 --> 01:15:43,898 ...with you guys in this house... 1507 01:15:44,072 --> 01:15:48,736 ...and I'm gonna miss it. 1508 01:15:49,111 --> 01:15:51,739 I'm gonna miss it so much. 1509 01:15:51,914 --> 01:15:54,280 I love you guys. 1510 01:15:54,449 --> 01:15:56,076 I love every single one of you. 1511 01:15:57,886 --> 01:15:59,251 She wasn't home, huh? 1512 01:15:59,922 --> 01:16:02,755 No. No, she was home. 1513 01:16:02,925 --> 01:16:04,085 She was on a date. 1514 01:16:05,827 --> 01:16:09,786 Yeah. And I showed up dressed like fucking Aladdin. 1515 01:16:11,199 --> 01:16:13,599 Well, I think that you look adorable. 1516 01:16:13,769 --> 01:16:18,103 And I am so happy that you're back. 1517 01:16:18,273 --> 01:16:21,834 It's been a pretty emotional night for all of us. 1518 01:16:22,010 --> 01:16:25,343 How about a big super-gay group hug? 1519 01:16:25,514 --> 01:16:27,539 - Oh, yeah. - Group hug. 1520 01:16:28,951 --> 01:16:31,283 I love you guys. 1521 01:16:36,158 --> 01:16:37,352 Oh, my God. 1522 01:16:39,795 --> 01:16:43,060 Oh, my. I would not have called that. 1523 01:16:47,235 --> 01:16:48,827 Hey, what was that about earlier? 1524 01:16:49,004 --> 01:16:50,335 - Yeah, nothing. Later. - What? 1525 01:16:52,941 --> 01:16:54,169 Wha...? 1526 01:16:55,310 --> 01:16:57,039 Oh, gosh! 1527 01:16:57,212 --> 01:16:59,476 It's happening. It's really happening. 1528 01:16:59,648 --> 01:17:02,344 - We can do this. - I don't know if I can. 1529 01:17:02,517 --> 01:17:04,212 We'll do it together. Okay? 1530 01:17:06,588 --> 01:17:08,818 One. 1531 01:17:10,325 --> 01:17:12,259 Two. 1532 01:17:14,663 --> 01:17:15,687 Three. 1533 01:17:18,533 --> 01:17:20,501 Hello, boobs. 1534 01:17:23,205 --> 01:17:24,331 Are they okay? 1535 01:17:25,540 --> 01:17:27,167 They're fucking fabulous. 1536 01:17:27,843 --> 01:17:30,004 Thank you. 1537 01:17:32,381 --> 01:17:35,441 Oh. And just so you know... 1538 01:17:35,617 --> 01:17:39,917 ...l've never been able to orgasm, so no pressure. 1539 01:17:40,088 --> 01:17:42,022 I'm all about giving pleasure. 1540 01:17:42,190 --> 01:17:44,249 This is so much better than porn. 1541 01:17:52,734 --> 01:17:54,725 Well, hey-o. 1542 01:17:54,903 --> 01:17:56,370 Oh, my God! 1543 01:17:56,538 --> 01:17:57,562 I told you so. 1544 01:17:57,739 --> 01:17:58,763 You weren't kidding. 1545 01:17:59,441 --> 01:18:02,376 That is remarkable that he is insecure. 1546 01:18:05,280 --> 01:18:07,271 Tequila! 1547 01:18:31,807 --> 01:18:34,435 Everybody, drink from the ceiling. 1548 01:18:44,486 --> 01:18:46,579 - Hey, Mike. - Hi there. 1549 01:18:46,755 --> 01:18:49,349 You guys gotta try these chocolate-covered strawberries. 1550 01:18:49,558 --> 01:18:50,786 They're so decadent. 1551 01:18:50,959 --> 01:18:53,257 Oh, no, no. I'm good. I just had some Bagel Bites. 1552 01:18:53,428 --> 01:18:56,761 - Where'd you get Bagel Bites? - Forget it. 1553 01:18:56,932 --> 01:18:58,490 Mahalo, freaky people. 1554 01:18:58,667 --> 01:19:00,066 We thought it might be fun... 1555 01:19:00,268 --> 01:19:02,429 ...if we all went out and made love in the pool. 1556 01:19:02,604 --> 01:19:04,936 - Yes, yes. - Yeah, you wanna go in the pool? 1557 01:19:05,107 --> 01:19:07,473 No. No, no. We're good right here. We're good. 1558 01:19:07,642 --> 01:19:09,109 - Oh, we're okay. - Yeah. 1559 01:19:09,277 --> 01:19:12,440 Thanks though. It's chlorinated. Have fun. 1560 01:19:14,883 --> 01:19:16,942 Sue, I'm so happy for you. 1561 01:19:17,119 --> 01:19:20,179 Hey, guys, could we just get a minute? Just a minute? 1562 01:19:20,355 --> 01:19:22,186 Yeah, just give us a sec, will you? 1563 01:19:22,357 --> 01:19:25,292 Oh, so sorry. 1564 01:19:25,460 --> 01:19:28,793 We're not giving you enough privacy at an orgy? 1565 01:19:28,964 --> 01:19:32,559 - Oh, kind of a fair hit. - Yeah, now... 1566 01:19:32,734 --> 01:19:34,634 Are you okay? You wanna talk or something? 1567 01:19:34,803 --> 01:19:37,636 No, no. Just be in the moment. 1568 01:19:37,806 --> 01:19:40,832 Okay. Yeah, no, can do. Can do. Okay. Okay. 1569 01:19:43,411 --> 01:19:45,504 Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, yeah? 1570 01:19:45,680 --> 01:19:47,147 You like to dirty talk? Yeah? 1571 01:19:47,315 --> 01:19:49,010 - Fuck. - Okay, you wanna fuck me? 1572 01:19:49,184 --> 01:19:52,017 - You wanna fuck me hard? - No, Sue. Hop off. My foot, my foot. 1573 01:19:52,187 --> 01:19:53,211 Oh, oh, okay. 1574 01:19:53,388 --> 01:19:54,480 Oh, foot cramp. 1575 01:19:54,656 --> 01:19:55,918 - Okay. - That's a doozie. 1576 01:19:56,124 --> 01:19:57,318 Okay. All right. 1577 01:19:57,492 --> 01:20:00,256 Oh, God, my big toe's so far away from my other toes. 1578 01:20:00,428 --> 01:20:02,328 Okay, hey. Hey, flex it out. 1579 01:20:02,497 --> 01:20:04,158 Flex it out. Flex it, okay. 1580 01:20:04,332 --> 01:20:06,562 Oh, we should have done this 15 years ago. 1581 01:20:07,068 --> 01:20:09,002 Hey, guys. 1582 01:20:09,171 --> 01:20:11,503 I broke my diet. 1583 01:20:14,176 --> 01:20:16,007 - Okay. You're good? - Oh, yeah. 1584 01:20:16,178 --> 01:20:18,043 - Yeah? You're good? - Okay. There it goes. 1585 01:20:18,213 --> 01:20:20,545 - There it goes. Oh, wow. - Okay. 1586 01:20:20,715 --> 01:20:22,444 Okay. Okay. Okay. 1587 01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:25,916 Oh, no, it's back. It's back worse! 1588 01:20:26,087 --> 01:20:28,180 It's... The little guy is in on it now. 1589 01:20:28,356 --> 01:20:30,950 Hey, gang. Sake bombs. 1590 01:20:40,435 --> 01:20:41,697 Oh, my God! 1591 01:20:41,870 --> 01:20:44,532 Oh, my God, my dick is having the best night of its life. 1592 01:20:44,706 --> 01:20:47,573 Oh, we're all fucking. Oh, we're all finally fucking. 1593 01:20:47,742 --> 01:20:49,767 Oh, and I can be as loud as I fucking want! 1594 01:20:49,945 --> 01:20:50,969 Oh, no. 1595 01:20:53,915 --> 01:20:54,939 My contact. 1596 01:20:55,116 --> 01:20:56,549 Alison, my contacts. 1597 01:20:56,718 --> 01:20:59,744 - I'm good. I'm good. Play through. - Bro, count me down. 1598 01:20:59,921 --> 01:21:02,389 - What? - Count me down from five. 1599 01:21:02,557 --> 01:21:05,583 - What does that even mean? - Oh, fuck! Count me down from 10. 1600 01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:07,955 Count him down, Adam. Just count him down. 1601 01:21:09,464 --> 01:21:11,898 This whole sex in the pool thing is not working. 1602 01:21:12,067 --> 01:21:14,558 Water is not a lubricant. 1603 01:21:14,736 --> 01:21:18,001 Okay, brothers and sisters. Let's take this party indoors. 1604 01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:20,834 I'm running with a boner! 1605 01:21:21,243 --> 01:21:23,939 Pineapple mojitos. 1606 01:21:24,112 --> 01:21:25,477 Yeah, most... 1607 01:21:27,349 --> 01:21:28,407 Fuck! 1608 01:21:28,583 --> 01:21:29,675 Are you ready? 1609 01:21:29,851 --> 01:21:31,944 As I'll ever be. 1610 01:21:37,425 --> 01:21:38,756 I'm next, I'm next, I'm next. 1611 01:21:39,995 --> 01:21:41,462 Vodka tonic. 1612 01:21:46,635 --> 01:21:49,536 Yo, can I tag in? 1613 01:21:50,839 --> 01:21:53,137 You're like the sweet, tender lion. 1614 01:21:53,308 --> 01:21:54,935 Mike, go away. 1615 01:21:55,110 --> 01:21:58,546 You guys haven't slept with anybody else yet. You're hogging Willow. 1616 01:21:58,747 --> 01:22:01,477 Go away. Go away, Mike. 1617 01:22:02,484 --> 01:22:04,281 Vodka. 1618 01:22:04,886 --> 01:22:05,944 Come on. 1619 01:22:06,121 --> 01:22:10,148 Sue, I just wanna say I'm so sorry about the whole Eric thing. 1620 01:22:10,325 --> 01:22:13,624 No. Totally don't. It's so over. I don't care. 1621 01:22:13,795 --> 01:22:18,459 No, but you know, you're a really good friend and I love you. 1622 01:22:18,633 --> 01:22:22,899 No, I love you. You are so smart and you're so beautiful. 1623 01:22:23,071 --> 01:22:26,802 And I totally get why he would wanna be with you. 1624 01:22:26,975 --> 01:22:28,340 You're the beautiful one. 1625 01:22:28,510 --> 01:22:31,343 Oh, my God, your body is ridiculous. 1626 01:22:31,513 --> 01:22:33,640 Your body is ridiculous, okay? 1627 01:22:33,815 --> 01:22:36,909 And I would give anything to have your breasts... 1628 01:22:37,085 --> 01:22:38,712 ...just for, like, one day. 1629 01:22:38,887 --> 01:22:43,347 Yeah, but your ass is off the charts, seriously. 1630 01:22:43,525 --> 01:22:45,891 Okay. I would kill to have your eyes. 1631 01:22:46,061 --> 01:22:49,827 You know that you have the most beautiful green eyes... 1632 01:22:49,998 --> 01:22:53,092 ...that I have ever seen. 1633 01:22:58,673 --> 01:23:00,072 Oh, yeah. 1634 01:23:05,246 --> 01:23:06,736 Oh, yeah. 1635 01:23:08,850 --> 01:23:10,010 - I saw that. - You see that? 1636 01:23:10,185 --> 01:23:13,882 - It looked like a little flash of light. - I know. I think I just... God. 1637 01:23:14,589 --> 01:23:16,682 I never thought I'd hear myself say this... 1638 01:23:16,858 --> 01:23:18,883 ...but I'm gonna take a break... 1639 01:23:19,060 --> 01:23:21,927 ...from this girl-on-girl-on-girl action... 1640 01:23:22,097 --> 01:23:25,589 ...and check the score of the Yankee game. 1641 01:23:25,767 --> 01:23:27,758 This feels fucking fabulous. 1642 01:23:32,040 --> 01:23:33,064 Michael! 1643 01:23:33,708 --> 01:23:35,403 - Let's go. - Are you sure? 1644 01:23:35,577 --> 01:23:37,545 Yes, 100,000 percent sure. 1645 01:23:37,712 --> 01:23:40,112 - Let's go. Right now. - Okay, okay. Let's go. 1646 01:23:40,281 --> 01:23:44,843 You fucking did it. Look at this. You are awe-inspiring. 1647 01:23:45,286 --> 01:23:46,446 - Thank you, Mike. - No. 1648 01:23:46,621 --> 01:23:48,088 I'm gonna tell you something... 1649 01:23:48,256 --> 01:23:50,884 ...and I want you to listen because I fucking mean it. 1650 01:23:51,059 --> 01:23:52,583 Okay. 1651 01:23:52,761 --> 01:23:55,662 You could be the president of the United States. 1652 01:23:57,599 --> 01:23:59,430 Well, not after something like this. 1653 01:23:59,601 --> 01:24:02,832 Hey! No. I'm fucking serious. 1654 01:24:03,004 --> 01:24:06,064 You could do it if you wanted to. 1655 01:24:06,241 --> 01:24:08,106 Yeah. 1656 01:24:08,276 --> 01:24:10,141 You're getting kind of close, Mike. 1657 01:24:10,311 --> 01:24:12,677 - Am I? - Yeah. 1658 01:24:13,314 --> 01:24:15,612 You're not trying to kiss me, are you? 1659 01:24:15,784 --> 01:24:17,411 Would it scare you if I was? 1660 01:24:18,319 --> 01:24:20,116 I guess so. 1661 01:24:20,288 --> 01:24:22,620 Fucking kiss chicken, dude. 1662 01:24:22,791 --> 01:24:25,089 - It's on. - All right. 1663 01:24:25,260 --> 01:24:26,921 Let me just set this right here. 1664 01:24:27,095 --> 01:24:28,653 Whatever. 1665 01:24:35,637 --> 01:24:37,798 You scared yet? 1666 01:24:38,940 --> 01:24:39,998 No. 1667 01:24:40,175 --> 01:24:42,439 No? 1668 01:24:42,610 --> 01:24:46,102 How about now? Touching your nose with my nose. 1669 01:24:46,281 --> 01:24:48,476 It's okay, I'm part Eskimo. 1670 01:24:48,650 --> 01:24:50,618 We're nose-kissing, buddy. 1671 01:24:50,785 --> 01:24:53,151 It's more than our noses touching right now. 1672 01:24:53,321 --> 01:24:55,653 It's our souls. 1673 01:25:00,662 --> 01:25:02,493 Yeah, that's been brewing for years. 1674 01:25:02,664 --> 01:25:03,961 Well, I think we both won. 1675 01:25:06,067 --> 01:25:07,830 I'm pretty sure we both just lost. 1676 01:25:12,040 --> 01:25:13,871 Tonic. 1677 01:25:16,845 --> 01:25:19,871 Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. Almost there. Almost there. 1678 01:25:20,048 --> 01:25:22,312 No, don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. 1679 01:25:22,684 --> 01:25:25,710 It feels so good. It feels so good, don't stop. 1680 01:25:29,757 --> 01:25:30,815 How about that? 1681 01:25:30,992 --> 01:25:33,392 So how long has this been going on? 1682 01:25:33,561 --> 01:25:34,823 About a half an hour. 1683 01:25:34,996 --> 01:25:36,987 I'm good. I'm gonna... I'm getting it. 1684 01:25:37,165 --> 01:25:38,223 Poor bastard. 1685 01:25:38,399 --> 01:25:40,367 Fucking so good. 1686 01:25:40,535 --> 01:25:41,832 Hang in there, buddy. 1687 01:25:42,003 --> 01:25:43,163 Almost there. 1688 01:25:43,338 --> 01:25:46,603 Yeah. Yes. Yes! 1689 01:25:46,774 --> 01:25:48,571 Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm coming. 1690 01:25:48,743 --> 01:25:51,234 Yes! Oh, yes! 1691 01:25:51,412 --> 01:25:53,004 Yes, yes, yes! 1692 01:25:53,181 --> 01:25:56,014 Oh, yes! Yes! 1693 01:25:56,184 --> 01:25:58,482 Yes! 1694 01:26:18,573 --> 01:26:21,371 Hey! Good morning, everybody. 1695 01:26:21,543 --> 01:26:23,568 So look what I got. 1696 01:26:23,745 --> 01:26:26,213 Commemorative Labor Day orgy T-shirts right here. 1697 01:26:26,381 --> 01:26:27,712 Pink and blue. 1698 01:26:27,882 --> 01:26:29,975 Unisex, 100 percent cotton. 1699 01:26:30,151 --> 01:26:31,209 You made T-shirts? 1700 01:26:31,386 --> 01:26:32,785 Yup. Laura. 1701 01:26:35,590 --> 01:26:36,955 Where are we gonna wear these? 1702 01:26:37,125 --> 01:26:39,593 Anywhere. What do you mean? 1703 01:26:40,161 --> 01:26:43,562 Jesus Christ, I am hung over like a madman. 1704 01:26:44,899 --> 01:26:47,094 All right, ladies. Ladies, I got one... 1705 01:26:47,268 --> 01:26:48,792 One easy question for all of you. 1706 01:26:49,337 --> 01:26:52,568 Overall, where would you rank me? 1707 01:26:52,740 --> 01:26:54,139 Just have a bagel and relax. 1708 01:26:54,309 --> 01:26:56,777 Listen, I need to know. I just... I need to know. 1709 01:26:56,945 --> 01:27:00,745 Well, for me, there was one clear winner. 1710 01:27:00,915 --> 01:27:04,476 Okay, I know, good. Eric. Blah, blah. Big surprise. What about this guy? 1711 01:27:04,652 --> 01:27:07,746 - I was gonna say Adam. - Adam. 1712 01:27:07,922 --> 01:27:09,150 What? 1713 01:27:09,324 --> 01:27:11,815 For a neurotic hypochondriac with panic attacks... 1714 01:27:11,993 --> 01:27:14,461 ...he was really uninhibited. 1715 01:27:14,629 --> 01:27:16,927 So what? Out of the four dudes in the house... 1716 01:27:17,098 --> 01:27:20,329 ...I didn't even rank in the top two? That's what you're telling me? 1717 01:27:20,501 --> 01:27:21,627 Didn't I do my move? 1718 01:27:21,803 --> 01:27:24,499 The move with the fingers and the tongue? The Thoosh? 1719 01:27:24,872 --> 01:27:26,464 - Laura. - You did it. 1720 01:27:26,641 --> 01:27:29,610 - I thooshed you. I know I did. - You don't need to do it now. 1721 01:27:29,777 --> 01:27:31,438 We don't need to see it again. 1722 01:27:31,613 --> 01:27:33,308 Yeah. Can we just eat breakfast? 1723 01:27:36,117 --> 01:27:37,141 It's Marcus. 1724 01:27:40,588 --> 01:27:41,953 Hello? 1725 01:27:42,957 --> 01:27:44,788 Oh, tell him how much we missed him. 1726 01:27:46,628 --> 01:27:48,118 - Hey. - Everybody's up. 1727 01:27:48,296 --> 01:27:49,320 Hey. 1728 01:27:49,497 --> 01:27:50,691 Morning. 1729 01:27:50,865 --> 01:27:53,299 Hey, man, about the shit that went down last night... 1730 01:27:53,468 --> 01:27:54,560 Dude. Oh, shit. 1731 01:27:54,736 --> 01:27:57,830 I'm sorry if I did anything weird to you or Willow, any thooshing. 1732 01:27:58,006 --> 01:27:59,496 Anything like that. I'm sorry. 1733 01:27:59,674 --> 01:28:02,142 I was so fucking hammered, I don't remember anything. 1734 01:28:02,310 --> 01:28:03,334 Seriously, nothing? 1735 01:28:03,511 --> 01:28:05,502 - You don't remember anything? - No. 1736 01:28:05,680 --> 01:28:09,207 Nothing. I remember the fucking absinthe shots and then that's it. 1737 01:28:09,384 --> 01:28:11,818 I'm so bummed, that was gonna be spank fodder... 1738 01:28:11,986 --> 01:28:13,817 ...for the next 20 years of my life. 1739 01:28:13,988 --> 01:28:16,320 - Total fucking blackout. - Thank God. 1740 01:28:16,491 --> 01:28:17,719 Amen. 1741 01:28:17,892 --> 01:28:18,984 I got something for you. 1742 01:28:19,160 --> 01:28:21,219 - Holy shit! - Dougie. 1743 01:28:21,396 --> 01:28:23,057 I did it. I got more coming. 1744 01:28:23,231 --> 01:28:25,028 Oh, my God, dude, this is major. 1745 01:28:27,035 --> 01:28:29,868 I wanted hat, but he was so passionate about no hat. 1746 01:28:30,038 --> 01:28:32,029 - No fucking hat. - Good shit, man. 1747 01:28:32,206 --> 01:28:34,333 I still would've Photoshopped in the dudes... 1748 01:28:34,509 --> 01:28:36,670 ...schnizzing on your face. But it's just me. 1749 01:28:36,844 --> 01:28:38,243 You made fucking shirts. Fuck. 1750 01:28:38,413 --> 01:28:40,847 Yeah. Hey, Willow, grab one of those. 1751 01:28:41,015 --> 01:28:42,846 It's blue and pink, my favorite. 1752 01:28:43,017 --> 01:28:45,918 - A medium. Awesome. - It's the Breakfast Club. 1753 01:28:46,087 --> 01:28:49,853 Oh, there he is. Sam Rockwell. 1754 01:28:50,024 --> 01:28:51,685 Yeah, there you go. 1755 01:28:53,027 --> 01:28:55,860 Thank you, I'm sorry, and you're welcome. 1756 01:28:58,099 --> 01:28:59,862 Still a little sore. 1757 01:29:02,804 --> 01:29:03,862 Hey. 1758 01:29:05,239 --> 01:29:07,764 Yeah, I think we're headed down shortly. 1759 01:29:08,710 --> 01:29:10,473 Yeah, I'll see you there. 1760 01:29:11,612 --> 01:29:14,046 - That was Kelly. - Slut. 1761 01:29:15,216 --> 01:29:16,581 She's... 1762 01:29:16,751 --> 01:29:18,582 ...headed to the beach. I'm gonna meet her. 1763 01:29:18,753 --> 01:29:21,745 That's gonna be some awkward shit. I wanna be front-row center. 1764 01:29:21,923 --> 01:29:23,550 - Let's do it. - I'm there. 1765 01:29:24,992 --> 01:29:27,051 Give the ticks a goodbye hug for me, please? 1766 01:29:27,228 --> 01:29:29,219 - I will do so. - Okay. 1767 01:29:34,736 --> 01:29:38,137 I can stay here and hang out with you if... 1768 01:29:38,306 --> 01:29:40,103 Yeah, yes. 1769 01:29:40,274 --> 01:29:41,400 Okay. 1770 01:29:41,576 --> 01:29:44,943 We could take a dip in the pool or something. 1771 01:29:45,113 --> 01:29:47,240 Oh, the... Yeah. I don't know about the pool... 1772 01:29:47,415 --> 01:29:50,441 ...after what happened in there last night. 1773 01:29:51,119 --> 01:29:53,917 But you wanna do the crossword with me? 1774 01:29:54,756 --> 01:29:56,087 I'd love that. 1775 01:29:58,292 --> 01:30:00,061 16 Across. 1776 01:30:01,295 --> 01:30:04,287 So, what happened with you-know-who? 1777 01:30:04,465 --> 01:30:07,434 Marcus apologized. He wants to go to couples' therapy. 1778 01:30:07,602 --> 01:30:08,864 You're getting back together? 1779 01:30:09,036 --> 01:30:12,267 We're gonna go to city hall, get married, see if we can make it work. 1780 01:30:12,440 --> 01:30:14,738 - What the fuck? - Just kidding. 1781 01:30:15,777 --> 01:30:19,713 - Okay. - Yeah, no, it's totally over. 1782 01:30:19,881 --> 01:30:21,815 Nice. I'm proud of you. 1783 01:30:21,983 --> 01:30:23,280 Thanks, Sue. 1784 01:30:23,451 --> 01:30:25,783 That's too bad. I always liked that guy. 1785 01:30:26,487 --> 01:30:28,546 God, I hope Kate has some guys for us. 1786 01:30:28,756 --> 01:30:30,781 Hell, I'd even go to Hoboken. 1787 01:30:30,958 --> 01:30:34,052 I mean, if he's really amazing, I'd consider going to Jersey City. 1788 01:30:34,262 --> 01:30:35,286 Oh, you would not. 1789 01:30:35,463 --> 01:30:37,454 I'm just making a point. 1790 01:30:37,632 --> 01:30:40,294 So Eric, last night... 1791 01:30:40,468 --> 01:30:41,992 ...some things came up. 1792 01:30:42,170 --> 01:30:44,638 Yeah, I swear. I had no idea. 1793 01:30:44,806 --> 01:30:47,001 No, it's fine, really. It was just something... 1794 01:30:47,175 --> 01:30:49,143 ...that I needed to get out of my system. 1795 01:30:56,517 --> 01:30:58,314 I hope she likes my sloppy seconds. 1796 01:30:58,486 --> 01:31:00,351 Oh, come on. 1797 01:31:01,389 --> 01:31:04,381 - Morning, Kelly. - Hey. Morning, Eric. 1798 01:31:04,559 --> 01:31:06,322 Hey. Hey. 1799 01:31:06,494 --> 01:31:08,359 Hi, I'm Mike. We haven't officially met. 1800 01:31:08,529 --> 01:31:10,656 - Nice to meet you. - Oh, wait, Mike. 1801 01:31:10,832 --> 01:31:13,858 Right. You're the guy that Dody was asking about. 1802 01:31:14,035 --> 01:31:17,493 She wanted your number for some kind of business thing or something? 1803 01:31:19,574 --> 01:31:22,008 What the fuck? Give her my digits, all right? 1804 01:31:22,176 --> 01:31:24,201 Nice to meet you. 1805 01:31:24,378 --> 01:31:28,007 Let loose the Kraken. Yeah. 1806 01:31:28,182 --> 01:31:30,673 So wow. Okay. 1807 01:31:30,885 --> 01:31:32,580 - About last night. - How about this? 1808 01:31:32,753 --> 01:31:34,584 - What? - How about this about last night? 1809 01:31:34,755 --> 01:31:37,849 We never talk about it ever, ever again. 1810 01:31:38,526 --> 01:31:40,084 It never happened. All right? 1811 01:31:40,728 --> 01:31:42,457 You and I have just met. 1812 01:31:42,630 --> 01:31:45,064 We're starting fresh right here, right now. 1813 01:31:46,701 --> 01:31:48,191 - Done. - Done. 1814 01:31:48,369 --> 01:31:49,529 - Hi. - Hi. 1815 01:31:49,704 --> 01:31:51,194 - I'm Kelly. - Hi, Kelly. I'm Eric. 1816 01:31:51,372 --> 01:31:53,203 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 1817 01:32:08,489 --> 01:32:09,547 Come in! 1818 01:32:12,560 --> 01:32:13,925 Your BlackBerry. 1819 01:32:14,095 --> 01:32:16,791 Just an empty, symbolic gesture. 1820 01:32:16,964 --> 01:32:18,454 I'm getting a new one on Tuesday. 1821 01:32:18,633 --> 01:32:21,932 But that did feel really, really good. 1822 01:32:22,103 --> 01:32:23,934 So this is the beach, huh? 1823 01:32:24,105 --> 01:32:25,595 Pretty beautiful. Who knew? 1824 01:32:25,773 --> 01:32:27,741 - This is it. - Let's go on. 1825 01:32:29,610 --> 01:32:31,578 Come in! 1826 01:32:33,514 --> 01:32:35,277 Okay, listen. I've got some bad news. 1827 01:32:35,449 --> 01:32:36,973 - You're al Qaeda. - No. 1828 01:32:37,151 --> 01:32:39,483 You know the delay I pulled with closing the house? 1829 01:32:39,654 --> 01:32:41,588 It spooked the buyers and they pulled out. 1830 01:32:42,823 --> 01:32:44,450 - The house isn't sold? - No. 1831 01:32:46,827 --> 01:32:48,761 - Are you mad? - No. No, no, no. 1832 01:32:48,930 --> 01:32:50,420 Will you hold on a sec though? 1833 01:32:50,598 --> 01:32:51,690 - Hey, guys! - Yeah? 1834 01:32:51,899 --> 01:32:54,459 Quick announcement. I have a really shitty Realtor. 1835 01:32:54,635 --> 01:32:56,603 - Fire her. - And she blew the deal. 1836 01:32:56,771 --> 01:32:58,602 And the house still isn't sold. 1837 01:33:03,110 --> 01:33:04,441 - They're pissed. - They're mad. 1838 01:33:04,645 --> 01:33:06,670 - Great, now they're pissed. - They're mad. 1839 01:33:06,847 --> 01:33:10,476 Now I gotta start thinking of something to do for Memorial Day. 1840 01:33:10,651 --> 01:33:13,119 We've been kicking around this idea for a brown party. 1841 01:33:13,287 --> 01:33:15,278 You know brown clothes, brown food. 1842 01:33:17,291 --> 01:33:19,350 Hey, you guys remember Kelly, right? 1843 01:33:59,100 --> 01:34:00,226 What do you want? 1844 01:34:00,401 --> 01:34:02,062 Password's roundelay. 1845 01:34:02,236 --> 01:34:03,328 Who's your connection? 1846 01:34:03,504 --> 01:34:05,062 Dody Henderson. She's our Realtor. 1847 01:34:05,239 --> 01:34:07,173 Oh, Dody. Yeah, she's in the swing. 1848 01:34:07,341 --> 01:34:09,866 Come on in. Come on, you too. 1849 01:34:13,681 --> 01:34:16,172 Yeah. Okay. 1850 01:35:07,768 --> 01:35:08,792 What?! 1851 01:36:48,169 --> 01:36:49,830 That's tough. 138645