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[Dr. Ruth laughs]
2
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Well, put it on again.
3
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What's her name? Alexis.
4
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Wait to?
Is it called Alexa? Alexa?
5
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Alexa, will I get a boyfriend?
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[Alexa] Sorry, I don't know.
7
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Me neither. Unplug it!
8
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If you don't know that, what is she for? [laughs]
9
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Alexa, who is Dr. Ruth?
10
00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:01,957
[Alexa]
A towel is an absorbent piece
11
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of cloth or paper that is used for drying a body or a surface.
12
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[laughs] No.
13
00:01:07,969 --> 00:01:10,933
Alexa, who is Dr. Ruth Westheimer?
14
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[Alexa]
Ruth Westheimer, known as Dr. Ruth,
15
00:01:15,025 --> 00:01:17,864
she is a German Jewish immigrant i>
in the United States
16
00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:20,202
that became in figure of television
17
00:01:20,285 --> 00:01:21,747
and popular culture
18
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as a sex therapist, media character and author.
19
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Rafi!
20
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You listened? He knows who I am!
21
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Well, I think I'll keep it.
22
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She has all the answers.
23
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I love her so much,
24
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the goddess of good sex,
Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
25
00:01:46,295 --> 00:01:47,757
[applause]
26
00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:51,180
Dr. Ruth!
27
00:01:51,264 --> 00:01:53,519
Talk about the penis
like in a cooking show.
28
00:01:54,855 --> 00:01:58,988
First, grasp the penis with your fingers,
knead the bread ... No.
29
00:01:59,071 --> 00:02:01,743
Dr. Ruth alright
let a man make noises
30
00:02:01,827 --> 00:02:03,079
while he's having sex?
31
00:02:03,163 --> 00:02:05,000
Of course it's alright
32
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,962
as long as you don't wake up your wife.
33
00:02:07,045 --> 00:02:07,964
[audience laughs]
34
00:02:08,047 --> 00:02:12,515
I'll make you say vagina and clitoris
35
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:15,187
because I always listen to you
talk about the penis.
36
00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:16,982
Can you say that word again?
37
00:02:17,065 --> 00:02:18,193
- Erection?
- Yes.
38
00:02:18,276 --> 00:02:20,238
- Yes.
- Say it a little louder.
39
00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:21,909
Erection!
40
00:02:22,493 --> 00:02:25,415
This is the cable version
from Mr. Rogers or something like that, you know?
41
00:02:25,499 --> 00:02:27,461
I mean, can you say clitoris?
42
00:02:27,545 --> 00:02:29,465
Dr. Ruth, does size matter?
43
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[Dra. Ruth] No.
44
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Really?
45
00:02:31,845 --> 00:02:33,974
Size has nothing to do with it ...
46
00:02:34,058 --> 00:02:34,976
[Howard] Really?
47
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... with sexual satisfaction
of a woman.
48
00:02:37,816 --> 00:02:40,738
If you don't do something else
in your radio and TV shows,
49
00:02:40,822 --> 00:02:43,828
you educate people
so you know you are not alone
50
00:02:44,119 --> 00:02:46,040
- with your sexual problems.
- I do.
51
00:02:46,123 --> 00:02:47,919
But you have changed
sex for America
52
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:49,881
Don't tell me it's worse now.
53
00:02:49,965 --> 00:02:51,677
[Jerry] No, now it's better.
Everybody knows.
54
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,098
You do not feel to suffer.
55
00:02:54,473 --> 00:02:58,732
Don't fake it.
Don't be sad and frustrated.
56
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If not do something about it.
57
00:03:10,631 --> 00:03:13,846
WASHINGTON HEIGHTS
NEW YORK CITY
58
00:03:16,643 --> 00:03:18,479
- [man] Hello, love.
- [Dra. Ruth] Hey, hi.
59
00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:20,985
- How are you?
- Well, you'll be on camera.
60
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:22,279
- Fantastic.
- Well.
61
00:03:22,362 --> 00:03:23,866
This is the doctor, this is my love.
62
00:03:24,951 --> 00:03:26,203
- Thanks.
- That's my love.
63
00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:27,582
- You too, come here.
- Of course, of course.
64
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:31,798
Come both, you'll be on camera, thank you
65
00:03:33,009 --> 00:03:38,311
That is a bomber. Well!
And here comes a film crew,
66
00:03:38,394 --> 00:03:41,943
close the door of my room,
I don't want Ryan to come in.
67
00:03:43,906 --> 00:03:45,325
[indecipherable conversation]
68
00:03:46,077 --> 00:03:47,955
Here are some cookies.
69
00:03:50,503 --> 00:03:55,053
I have lived in this apartment for 54 years.
70
00:03:55,513 --> 00:03:58,393
Rob, have some cookies.
71
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,862
When I started to appear on television,
72
00:04:04,071 --> 00:04:06,117
people said: "Why don't you move in?"
73
00:04:07,244 --> 00:04:10,918
But this is an immigrant neighborhood, and I said:
74
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,588
"No, I'm comfortable here."
75
00:04:15,135 --> 00:04:16,722
Did you call your mother?
76
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,309
[the telephone rings]
77
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:23,484
- Hi Yes!
[speaking Hebrew]
78
00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,740
- Already.
- [the telephone rings]
79
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,161
Well. [Speaking Hebrew]
80
00:04:28,244 --> 00:04:30,750
- Shabbat Shalom.
- [the telephone rings]
81
00:04:30,833 --> 00:04:34,381
- Well, bye, bye.
[speaks in Hebrew]
82
00:04:34,465 --> 00:04:36,803
[in English] Bye, bye, hello?
83
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:42,857
Yes, she had just come back from doing
Good morning America .
84
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I did very well.
85
00:04:45,821 --> 00:04:46,907
Yes,
86
00:04:47,658 --> 00:04:50,038
find it online
and I'll be there at 6:30.
87
00:04:53,086 --> 00:04:54,379
Well.
88
00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:58,514
For me there is no withdrawal.
89
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:00,559
And I'm very lucky.
90
00:05:00,684 --> 00:05:04,191
I have a minister of communications, Pierre.
91
00:05:04,609 --> 00:05:07,865
I tell everyone, if they want
get to me, call Pierre.
92
00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:09,243
[the telephone rings]
93
00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:10,621
[Pierre] Hello Ruth!
94
00:05:10,704 --> 00:05:13,417
[Dra. Ruth] Okay! They sent me my calendar, thank you.
95
00:05:13,502 --> 00:05:14,796
MINISTER OF COMMUNICATIONS DR. RUTH
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Agree.
97
00:05:15,881 --> 00:05:20,056
[Pierre] I've worked with Dr. Ruth since she started.
98
00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:22,060
she 36 years ago.
99
00:05:22,144 --> 00:05:24,481
[Dra. Ruth] I tell you what I need, Pierre.
100
00:05:24,649 --> 00:05:30,243
Please pass me the name Marvel owner type.
101
00:05:30,326 --> 00:05:31,997
Was it Stan Lee?
102
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,588
[Dra. Ruth] He owns Marvel.
103
00:05:35,754 --> 00:05:37,675
I don't remember her name.
104
00:05:37,758 --> 00:05:39,512
[Pierre] I'd love to retire,
105
00:05:39,596 --> 00:05:40,890
but Dr. Ruth is not retiring.
106
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,898
His calendar of hers is overflowing.
107
00:05:44,981 --> 00:05:46,192
It has no end.
108
00:05:46,483 --> 00:05:48,112
So we talk a lot often,
109
00:05:48,196 --> 00:05:51,578
sometimes up to 25 or 30 times a day.
110
00:05:56,462 --> 00:06:00,136
Most can't keep up because she doesn't stop.
111
00:06:01,180 --> 00:06:04,144
She teaches two courses, i>
one at Hunter College
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00:06:04,228 --> 00:06:07,150
and the other in Teacher's College from Columbia University.
113
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,404
[Dra. Ruth] Despite investigations
from Kinsey, Masters,
114
00:06:09,488 --> 00:06:11,534
Johnson and Helen Singer-Kaplan,
115
00:06:11,618 --> 00:06:13,997
there is still a lot of work to do.
116
00:06:14,498 --> 00:06:16,126
Tuesday, October 2
117
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you travel to boston
to the Forbes 30 under 30 festival.
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00:06:20,886 --> 00:06:23,558
Give her an orgasm, if you don't know
how to do it,
119
00:06:23,642 --> 00:06:25,938
- I'll show you next time.
- [laughs]
120
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:30,238
On Wednesday 21 you go
to Boulder, Colorado,
121
00:06:30,321 --> 00:06:31,407
to the air force academy.
122
00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:33,620
There I see a short person.
123
00:06:33,704 --> 00:06:36,751
I must tell you that the short people
they are the best lovers.
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00:06:36,835 --> 00:06:38,880
[Pierre] They still invite her to give lectures.
125
00:06:38,964 --> 00:06:41,093
she has a newspaper column i>
in the magazine Time.
126
00:06:41,176 --> 00:06:42,095
QUESTION TO DR. RUTH:
HOW TO GET ORGASMS EASIER?
127
00:06:42,178 --> 00:06:43,724
She still writes books.
128
00:06:43,807 --> 00:06:44,851
Do you see it, David?
129
00:06:44,934 --> 00:06:45,894
STAY OR GO
130
00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:47,230
I think he's number forty.
131
00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:51,405
[Pierre] Three books will be released in 2018.
132
00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:52,490
FROM YOU TWO
133
00:06:52,575 --> 00:06:55,539
Out of Print!
Grandma Roller Coaster.
134
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,881
So on Friday the 12th
you'll be in Good Morning America.
135
00:06:59,964 --> 00:07:01,091
Fix it or leave it
THE ULTIMATE LOVE TIPS
136
00:07:01,175 --> 00:07:03,262
Dr. Ruth, my boyfriend is passing
more time on the phone ...
137
00:07:03,345 --> 00:07:05,391
... than with me.
Do I fix it or leave it?
138
00:07:05,475 --> 00:07:07,312
- Leave it alone!
- Leave it alone?
139
00:07:07,395 --> 00:07:10,819
[Pierre] Sunday you play the queen at the medieval festival.
140
00:07:11,236 --> 00:07:14,117
I want them to see
that I go hand in hand with the king.
141
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,203
[laughs]
142
00:07:15,286 --> 00:07:18,000
Whoever applauds the loudest ...
143
00:07:18,084 --> 00:07:19,044
TOURNAMENT FIELD
144
00:07:19,127 --> 00:07:21,465
... I promise you good sex
for the rest of his life.
145
00:07:21,549 --> 00:07:23,720
- [the public celebrates]
- Let's give a clap.
146
00:07:23,804 --> 00:07:25,974
[Pierre] If Ruth doesn't have nothing scheduled
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00:07:26,058 --> 00:07:28,395
makes sure to get something.
148
00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:31,694
And that's part of the advice that she always gives me, i>
149
00:07:32,487 --> 00:07:34,157
get out a bit
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00:07:34,742 --> 00:07:36,370
to meet people.
151
00:07:37,163 --> 00:07:39,126
It was always like this.
152
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:42,132
Always dating.
153
00:07:43,259 --> 00:07:48,979
And on June 4, she will celebrate 90 years.
154
00:07:49,981 --> 00:07:51,400
- [Dra. Ruth] Bye.
- [Security guard] Bye.
155
00:07:51,734 --> 00:07:53,279
[Dra. Ruth] Goodbye in the rain.
156
00:08:00,459 --> 00:08:02,005
[Dra. Ruth] Okay, Cliff?
157
00:08:04,677 --> 00:08:06,013
A cluttered desk
IT'S A SIGN OF GREATNESS
158
00:08:06,096 --> 00:08:07,098
Well.
159
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,396
- In agreement.
- In agreement.
160
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:13,235
When we played all the tapes
to hard drives ...
161
00:08:13,319 --> 00:08:14,196
ARCHIVIST OF DR. RUTH
162
00:08:14,279 --> 00:08:15,741
... they stayed here,
there are hundreds of programs in these ...
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00:08:15,824 --> 00:08:17,620
[Dra. Ruth] My whole career
is it in these boxes?
164
00:08:17,703 --> 00:08:18,663
[Cliff] Exactly.
165
00:08:18,747 --> 00:08:22,378
But you know I couldn't put them
without you here.
166
00:08:22,630 --> 00:08:25,259
- I know.
- I don't know which button to press,
167
00:08:25,636 --> 00:08:27,305
But I like it!
168
00:08:27,514 --> 00:08:28,934
[Cliff] Well, do you want to see
some of these?
169
00:08:29,017 --> 00:08:29,977
[Dra. Ruth] Yes.
170
00:08:30,436 --> 00:08:32,608
The lady known as "Grandmother Freud"
171
00:08:32,691 --> 00:08:34,987
He has earned millions of followers
172
00:08:35,071 --> 00:08:38,912
just to talk about sex
graphically and nonstop.
173
00:08:39,371 --> 00:08:41,793
If you don't want to hear the things that she says,
174
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:46,426
consider this a warning.
Not everyone approves of what she does.
175
00:08:46,511 --> 00:08:48,807
[man] Ruth, I'm going to have to arrest her.
176
00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:50,226
[crowd roars]
177
00:08:50,309 --> 00:08:53,232
[Diane Sawyer] This is what happened at Oklahoma State University.
178
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:57,908
A person in the audience, upset for the explicitness of Ruth Westheimer
179
00:08:57,992 --> 00:09:00,162
she wanted to make a citizen arrest.
180
00:09:00,246 --> 00:09:03,503
It was another day in the life from Dr. Ruth,
181
00:09:03,587 --> 00:09:05,966
the sex therapist most famous in the nation.
182
00:09:06,383 --> 00:09:08,095
Hello, she is on the air.
183
00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:09,682
- [man] Huh, Dr. Ruth?
- Hello.
184
00:09:09,765 --> 00:09:12,270
[man] I'd like to know her opinion i>
about the marital effect ...
185
00:09:12,353 --> 00:09:14,482
- Yes.
‐... of vibrators and things like that.
186
00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:16,445
Does your wife use a vibrator?
187
00:09:16,529 --> 00:09:19,952
- [man] No .
- Would you use one?
188
00:09:20,202 --> 00:09:22,248
- I don't know.
- You do not know.
189
00:09:22,332 --> 00:09:25,505
Would you like to see her wear one?
190
00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:28,637
- Yes.
- Well, go and buy it.
191
00:09:29,429 --> 00:09:30,431
[man laughs]
Okay.
192
00:09:31,224 --> 00:09:34,397
[John]
When we went on the air in 1984
193
00:09:34,481 --> 00:09:38,990
nobody was so explicit about sex as was Ruth.
194
00:09:39,074 --> 00:09:42,330
There are a number of words that you can't say.
195
00:09:42,956 --> 00:09:44,292
Well, we used to say them.
196
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:45,336
TV PRODUCER OF DRA. RUTH
197
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:50,597
And then let me meta
the penis into the vagina from behind.
198
00:09:50,972 --> 00:09:55,732
The reason that is behind
is that the clitoris should be exposed
199
00:09:55,816 --> 00:10:00,826
so that both you and him
could stimulate him to orgasm.
200
00:10:00,909 --> 00:10:02,663
RESERVATIONS OF DR. RUTH
GIVE FOOT TO PROTESTS
201
00:10:03,247 --> 00:10:04,332
CARDS
SEXUAL GARBAGE EVERYWHERE
202
00:10:04,416 --> 00:10:06,504
[Greg] Younger people does not understand the controversy.
203
00:10:06,587 --> 00:10:07,840
PROPOSES TO "ENJOY" MASTURBATION
204
00:10:07,923 --> 00:10:09,510
ENCOURAGE ORAL SEX
205
00:10:09,593 --> 00:10:11,597
He always says there is nothing normal.
206
00:10:11,681 --> 00:10:13,350
"THIS WOMAN PROMOTES HOMOSEXUALITY
AND ANAL SEX. "
207
00:10:13,434 --> 00:10:14,729
We are all normal.
208
00:10:14,854 --> 00:10:16,273
Ruth was at the forefront of that ...
209
00:10:16,356 --> 00:10:17,400
TV PRODUCER
210
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:19,320
... and she gave us permission to talk about it.
211
00:10:19,404 --> 00:10:22,536
I think it's wonderful
that people can ask those questions
212
00:10:22,619 --> 00:10:26,460
that they would not have dared to do
just 10 years ago.
213
00:10:26,544 --> 00:10:29,800
[man] Lately, when my girlfriend and I we are having sex,
214
00:10:29,884 --> 00:10:33,975
I was ejaculating just beginning, and ...
215
00:10:34,058 --> 00:10:37,023
You mean you do
as soon as you enter the vagina?
216
00:10:37,106 --> 00:10:37,983
[man] Just a little bit.
217
00:10:38,066 --> 00:10:40,154
[Greg] I was careful to make sure
218
00:10:40,237 --> 00:10:43,327
that your professional credentials were always visible.
219
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:46,458
He taught at Columbia University, in Princeton,
220
00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:48,755
and was a licensed sex therapist.
221
00:10:49,255 --> 00:10:53,973
So it worked, and we did five hundred programs. [laughs]
222
00:10:54,390 --> 00:10:59,484
I think it has to do with not being
neither tall, nor blonde, nor pretty.
223
00:11:00,654 --> 00:11:03,743
And since I'm older, they often say:
224
00:11:04,369 --> 00:11:08,586
"Yes my mother or my grandmother
they could talk like that. "
225
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,632
[man] God bless you, Dr. Ruth. I'll tell you something,
226
00:11:10,715 --> 00:11:13,805
keep up the wonderful work, and I hope nobody censors her,
227
00:11:13,888 --> 00:11:15,559
because you are a gift from God for men and women.
228
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:16,727
Thanks.
229
00:11:16,811 --> 00:11:19,733
Thank you, from your mouth to the censors!
230
00:11:21,069 --> 00:11:23,448
[Greg] Every time I'm with her,
231
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:26,454
people come to tell me that she changed her lives i>
232
00:11:26,914 --> 00:11:29,962
or did she save their lives
or she saved them from committing suicide.
233
00:11:31,256 --> 00:11:35,682
All for that adorable grandmother that she was on TV, i>
234
00:11:35,765 --> 00:11:39,439
speaking honestly about relationships,
235
00:11:39,523 --> 00:11:41,986
how we love, who we love.
236
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:45,994
The deepest and most personal things that give us happiness.
237
00:11:46,996 --> 00:11:49,292
[man] Welcome, the only one
and unique Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
238
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,419
[applause]
239
00:11:50,503 --> 00:11:54,260
[Diane] Wherever he goes, advises, educates, moves.
240
00:11:54,344 --> 00:11:59,897
Everything that two adults do
consentingly in a private room,
241
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:02,569
living room or kitchen is fine.
242
00:12:03,655 --> 00:12:05,867
[Diane] But some colleagues by Dr. Ruth Westheimer
243
00:12:05,951 --> 00:12:08,372
they believe it does more than good.
244
00:12:08,539 --> 00:12:12,171
[Dr. Lee] I think she's very fast i>
to give specific advice
245
00:12:12,254 --> 00:12:13,925
without knowing the background
of the person's life.
246
00:12:14,008 --> 00:12:15,010
PSYCHOLOGIST
247
00:12:15,094 --> 00:12:19,394
All right, Tracy. I think you should look for yourself
a new man, okay?
248
00:12:20,605 --> 00:12:22,024
[Diane]
Do you think he's reckless? i>
249
00:12:23,151 --> 00:12:27,995
It is a harsh word. I hate using the word.
But yeah, I think it's reckless.
250
00:12:28,078 --> 00:12:32,044
[Diane] But they don't bother him much the criticisms. The woman they call
251
00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:35,844
"The Happy Sex Girl" is actually very hard.
252
00:12:36,261 --> 00:12:40,937
She was a girl from Frankfurt, Germany, i>
when the Nazis seized power.
253
00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:45,947
[Dra. Ruth] So ...
254
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:49,078
[creaks]
255
00:12:50,289 --> 00:12:53,253
... I have something that is very sacred.
256
00:12:56,594 --> 00:13:00,017
When I left Germany
when she was ten,
257
00:13:00,476 --> 00:13:03,440
the only thing in the suitcase
258
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,196
my parents
259
00:13:06,697 --> 00:13:08,325
it was this wipe.
260
00:13:08,408 --> 00:13:10,162
Look how beautiful it is.
261
00:13:10,747 --> 00:13:11,916
And here,
262
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,295
KS,
263
00:13:14,797 --> 00:13:16,801
which means Karola Siegel.
264
00:13:17,176 --> 00:13:22,854
My name in Germany was Karola.
And this rag always went with me.
265
00:13:23,438 --> 00:13:25,359
I never forget where I put it.
266
00:13:26,152 --> 00:13:30,160
And, uh, it serves as a tie,
267
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:33,500
huh, with my past.
268
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:40,598
I was born on June 4, 1928
269
00:13:40,682 --> 00:13:43,353
with the name Karola Siegel
270
00:13:43,436 --> 00:13:46,986
in a town not far from Frankfurt, Germany.
271
00:13:48,573 --> 00:13:54,000
She was the only daughter from some Orthodox Jews.
272
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,837
They weren't rich,
273
00:13:55,920 --> 00:14:00,638
but my first ten years they were ideal.
274
00:14:00,722 --> 00:14:06,274
Doting father, adorable grandmother, that they took great care of me.
275
00:14:10,324 --> 00:14:15,375
But in the thirties things changed drastically
276
00:14:15,459 --> 00:14:17,589
when Hitler took power.
277
00:14:21,597 --> 00:14:24,645
One morning in November 1938,
278
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:27,984
the Nazis came to the department.
279
00:14:28,778 --> 00:14:34,581
There were no screams, but I had 10 and a half years and I was scared.
280
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:41,469
I remember the black boots and the Nazis telling my father: "get dressed."
281
00:14:43,181 --> 00:14:48,609
My grandmother had money in the hem of the skirt.
282
00:14:49,026 --> 00:14:54,830
she gave it to the Nazi and said: i>
"take good care of my son."
283
00:14:57,042 --> 00:15:02,595
They took my father to the street, and before getting on the truck
284
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:07,146
he turned around, waved and smiled, i>
285
00:15:07,647 --> 00:15:10,402
even though he must have been terrified.
286
00:15:13,491 --> 00:15:16,790
A few months before that war broke out,
287
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,088
things were bleak in Germany.
288
00:15:20,882 --> 00:15:26,184
They burned the synagogues and looted Jewish stores.
289
00:15:28,606 --> 00:15:33,406
My father sent a postcard from the field of work saying
290
00:15:33,490 --> 00:15:38,834
to join a group of Orthodox Jewish children.
291
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:43,384
A transport of children with permission to go to Switzerland.
292
00:15:44,386 --> 00:15:46,307
He did not want to leave Frankfurt.
293
00:15:47,184 --> 00:15:50,691
He had 13 dolls. He had two dollhouses. He had skates.
294
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:52,654
She was an only child.
295
00:15:52,737 --> 00:15:57,204
He had a grandmother who only dedicated herself to take care of me.
296
00:15:57,664 --> 00:16:02,172
But he was 10 years old, and when he saw the postcard, I knew I had to go.
297
00:16:04,845 --> 00:16:08,059
The morning after, my mother and my grandmother came with me
298
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:11,650
to the Frankfurt train station.
299
00:16:13,194 --> 00:16:16,033
My mother hugged me. My grandmother hugged me.
300
00:16:16,535 --> 00:16:18,789
I went to the wagon.
301
00:16:19,498 --> 00:16:23,006
I looked back and I did as my father had done.
302
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:26,889
I was very sad, but I greeted them
303
00:16:26,972 --> 00:16:31,607
to make it work for them easier to say goodbye.
304
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,443
[train snorting]
305
00:16:42,921 --> 00:16:45,217
WENGEN, SWITZERLAND
306
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:48,306
[train puffing away]
307
00:16:52,397 --> 00:16:56,239
My parents actually gave me life twice.
308
00:16:57,449 --> 00:17:03,336
One when I was born, and the other when I was sent to Switzerland.
309
00:17:09,181 --> 00:17:12,187
Everyone was very worried on the train.
310
00:17:12,271 --> 00:17:16,780
We were thinking: what will happen next? Will I see my family again?
311
00:17:17,155 --> 00:17:21,832
Therefore, to pass the time easier,
312
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:23,961
I started to sing
313
00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,675
the songs of my Jewish environment.
314
00:17:27,259 --> 00:17:32,269
Some songs from Germany. Lots of nursery rhymes.
315
00:17:32,937 --> 00:17:35,191
And I got everyone to sing.
316
00:17:35,275 --> 00:17:37,195
[kids laughing]
317
00:17:42,289 --> 00:17:47,717
When the group of children came to the town of Heiden, Switzerland,
318
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,305
fifty of us we went to a hospice,
319
00:17:50,388 --> 00:17:53,646
which ended up being an orphanage for people like us.
320
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:59,073
And when I got there I wanted to show how well raised she was, i>
321
00:17:59,406 --> 00:18:02,955
for which I went with the director from the orphanage,
322
00:18:03,039 --> 00:18:05,795
named Riesenfeld, and I said:
323
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:08,007
[Dr. Ruth speaks in German]
"Hello, my name is Karola Siegel.
324
00:18:08,091 --> 00:18:09,636
I come from Frankfurt an Main. "
325
00:18:11,515 --> 00:18:13,852
[in English] We were second-class citizens.
326
00:18:14,646 --> 00:18:20,533
We had to take care of the Swiss children and do housework.
327
00:18:21,952 --> 00:18:27,087
It's strange, because the orphanage It was called Wartheim.
328
00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:29,718
Warten means to wait.
329
00:18:30,594 --> 00:18:35,646
But we didn't know how long We were going to be there.
330
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:50,467
This diary, if you can see it,
it even has a padlock.
331
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:56,605
Don't ask me where the key is.
I found her! Here it is!
332
00:19:00,361 --> 00:19:04,077
I started keeping a journal in the orphanage in Switzerland.
333
00:19:05,205 --> 00:19:09,421
I wrote things there that she didn't tell anyone. i>
334
00:19:12,177 --> 00:19:14,849
[speaks German]
335
00:19:15,518 --> 00:19:18,649
[in English]
Mom, why aren't you here?
336
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:25,746
[speaking in German]
337
00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:31,633
[in English] Why aren't you here? It would work for you.
338
00:19:31,716 --> 00:19:35,975
I would support you. I would give you a good life.
339
00:19:38,647 --> 00:19:42,195
[young Ruth]
I get up at 6.30 I get dressed.
340
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:46,495
We wake up the children at 7 am and then I'm busy until 7.30
341
00:19:47,582 --> 00:19:50,671
then I put the tables, I clean the dining room
342
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,382
and I comb the children.
343
00:19:53,301 --> 00:19:55,973
After eating I do let the little ones take a nap.
344
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:57,977
Then I make patches.
345
00:19:58,812 --> 00:20:03,029
At night I bathe the children and after dinner I clean their shoes.
346
00:20:03,822 --> 00:20:06,201
I really like my homework.
347
00:20:07,078 --> 00:20:10,794
[Dra. Ruth] I was always afraid that director Riesenfeld
348
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,924
find those diaries.
349
00:20:13,675 --> 00:20:17,934
That's why I didn't write anything against from the orphanage.
350
00:20:20,063 --> 00:20:24,237
The people who took care of us They were also refugees.
351
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,162
They were worried about their lives.
352
00:20:30,124 --> 00:20:34,968
So those kids, myself included, we became like brothers
353
00:20:35,051 --> 00:20:36,846
that we took care of ourselves each other.
354
00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:39,184
[Doorbell is ringing]
355
00:20:39,267 --> 00:20:41,188
Well, his wife is here.
356
00:20:42,232 --> 00:20:43,317
[Dra. Ruth] Hello!
357
00:20:43,401 --> 00:20:46,198
- Saved by the bell!
- [Dra. Ruth] Well, we found it.
358
00:20:46,658 --> 00:20:49,121
Good good good.
359
00:20:49,747 --> 00:20:51,751
- You were my first boyfriend.
- [Walter] Good.
360
00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:52,753
WALTER NOTHMANN
CHILDHOOD BOYFRIEND OF DR. RUTH
361
00:20:52,837 --> 00:20:54,297
You were younger than me.
362
00:20:54,966 --> 00:20:56,260
I still am.
363
00:20:56,636 --> 00:21:01,270
You were the person
Heiden's most important
364
00:21:01,646 --> 00:21:02,857
in my life,
365
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,484
and then you cheated on me!
366
00:21:04,861 --> 00:21:06,488
He left with an older woman.
367
00:21:06,781 --> 00:21:08,200
[Debbie Nothmann]
You were also an older woman.
368
00:21:08,284 --> 00:21:11,331
I know I'm older than him
but he left with a much older one!
369
00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:13,962
WALTER'S WIFE
370
00:21:14,421 --> 00:21:16,467
[Walter] We must have been ten or eleven
when we start.
371
00:21:16,551 --> 00:21:17,511
Correct.
372
00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:20,934
We had a classroom in Heiden.
373
00:21:21,686 --> 00:21:27,304
She couldn't stay still, or in silence, not even for ten seconds.
374
00:21:27,346 --> 00:21:28,533
Impossible.
375
00:21:30,161 --> 00:21:32,123
[whistling]
376
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,292
All the time!
377
00:21:34,837 --> 00:21:36,591
[Dra. Ruth] You were so cute.
378
00:21:37,008 --> 00:21:38,970
You were so handsome
379
00:21:39,387 --> 00:21:44,356
that was absolutely normal that I fell in love with you.
380
00:21:45,609 --> 00:21:48,990
It was a secret, but safe that everyone knew.
381
00:21:49,032 --> 00:21:50,769
[Walter]
Of course it was a secret, because ...
382
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:54,882
it was not allowed to have relationships with the opposite sex.
383
00:21:54,924 --> 00:21:56,380
I was ...
384
00:21:56,463 --> 00:21:57,382
Verboten.
385
00:21:57,465 --> 00:21:58,342
[Walter] Verboten.
386
00:21:58,425 --> 00:22:00,429
- Was not allowed.
- No way.
387
00:22:01,014 --> 00:22:03,603
As you were in the upper room,
388
00:22:03,687 --> 00:22:05,524
you found the way
389
00:22:06,066 --> 00:22:08,028
to send me messages.
390
00:22:08,655 --> 00:22:09,615
[Walter Nothmann] It was a pulley
391
00:22:09,824 --> 00:22:12,621
made with wood, thread and a hook.
392
00:22:12,705 --> 00:22:14,876
[Dra. Ruth] And inside I put little pieces of paper for me!
393
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:17,213
- [Walter] Yes!
- [Dra. Ruth] One of the messages said ...
394
00:22:17,297 --> 00:22:19,009
You are my ray of sunshine ...
395
00:22:19,259 --> 00:22:20,386
I sang it to you.
396
00:22:20,469 --> 00:22:21,598
I want to hear it.
397
00:22:21,764 --> 00:22:23,100
[Dra. Ruth] You're my ...
398
00:22:23,184 --> 00:22:24,436
♪ You are my ray of sunshine ♪
399
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:25,479
My little...
400
00:22:25,564 --> 00:22:27,358
♪ My golden ray ♪
401
00:22:27,442 --> 00:22:29,739
[both] You make me happy.
402
00:22:29,822 --> 00:22:31,450
- when the sky is gray.
- when the sky is blue.
403
00:22:31,743 --> 00:22:33,454
[both] When the sky is gray!
404
00:22:33,538 --> 00:22:35,124
♪ You'll never know, darling ♪
405
00:22:35,584 --> 00:22:37,253
How much I love you.
406
00:22:37,337 --> 00:22:40,343
♪ Please don't take my ray of sunshine ♪
407
00:22:43,474 --> 00:22:47,148
[Walter]
We were two lonely children ...
408
00:22:47,190 --> 00:22:51,365
at an age when hormones flow.
409
00:22:52,367 --> 00:22:54,789
And we learned ...
410
00:22:54,872 --> 00:22:55,874
[Dra. Ruth] Experimenting.
411
00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:57,377
[Walter] Experimenting.
412
00:22:57,795 --> 00:23:00,968
When we were teenagers, there was someone
413
00:23:01,426 --> 00:23:05,268
What did he say that he had shown you
the breasts.
414
00:23:06,395 --> 00:23:08,482
And I ... [laughs]
415
00:23:09,025 --> 00:23:10,988
But that rumor was running.
416
00:23:11,071 --> 00:23:12,992
And I was horrified.
417
00:23:13,367 --> 00:23:17,710
I knew that Switzerland was surrounded by Nazis
418
00:23:18,168 --> 00:23:21,091
And if they kicked me out of Heiden
419
00:23:21,174 --> 00:23:22,176
Where was he going to go?
420
00:23:23,137 --> 00:23:25,726
There was no place in the world for me.
421
00:23:27,980 --> 00:23:32,614
So we didn't have sex, but we hug and kiss.
422
00:23:32,698 --> 00:23:34,910
And guess what?
Come, I'll tell you something.
423
00:23:34,994 --> 00:23:38,877
I still remember the taste of those kisses.
424
00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:40,338
Do not tell anybody!
425
00:23:46,183 --> 00:23:48,605
[young Ruth] I read a book titled
Letters for Girls.
426
00:23:49,523 --> 00:23:52,236
It was written by a doctor to educate sexually.
427
00:23:53,782 --> 00:23:57,539
In nature everything is Fantastically organized.
428
00:23:58,290 --> 00:24:01,589
You can't think of anything that is dirty.
429
00:24:06,724 --> 00:24:10,398
[male advertiser] This program contains explicit sexual language
430
00:24:10,481 --> 00:24:12,945
and it is not suitable for all audiences.
431
00:24:13,028 --> 00:24:15,700
The hostess is Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer.
432
00:24:17,078 --> 00:24:19,040
Hello, we are on the air.
433
00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:21,044
- [Sue] Hello, Dr. Ruth.
- Hello.
434
00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:23,675
- My name is Sue.
- Hi, Sue.
435
00:24:23,758 --> 00:24:27,098
[Sue] I have a question and I'm ashamed to do it.
436
00:24:27,558 --> 00:24:28,893
[Dra. Ruth] Take a deep breath.
437
00:24:28,977 --> 00:24:34,028
[Sue] Hey, I want to start to jerk off, okay?
438
00:24:34,237 --> 00:24:35,156
Yes.
439
00:24:36,283 --> 00:24:38,078
[Dra. Ruth] Early from the eighties ...
440
00:24:39,038 --> 00:24:39,957
[Janet] Go ahead!
441
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,963
[Dra. Ruth] ... people didn't speak of female sexuality.
442
00:24:43,464 --> 00:24:45,510
Now, Janet, we live in the eighties ...
443
00:24:45,594 --> 00:24:46,512
THREE ARE COMPANY
1984
444
00:24:46,596 --> 00:24:48,850
... and I think I can be
perfectly frank.
445
00:24:49,685 --> 00:24:54,737
To begin with, the men
we have certain needs.
446
00:24:54,987 --> 00:24:56,991
[audience laughs]
447
00:24:58,202 --> 00:24:59,412
The women too.
448
00:25:00,289 --> 00:25:02,544
- Yes?
- [laughs]
449
00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:08,388
[Dra. Ruth] They still believed not only they didn't talk about sex,
450
00:25:08,472 --> 00:25:10,936
but women didn't enjoy it.
451
00:25:11,019 --> 00:25:12,648
[man] When a woman is frigid,
the thing is...
452
00:25:12,731 --> 00:25:15,904
Oh moment! You can not say
that word on my show.
453
00:25:17,156 --> 00:25:18,993
There are no frigid women
454
00:25:19,077 --> 00:25:24,838
there are women who must learn
to be receptive.
455
00:25:24,922 --> 00:25:30,850
Can you take it by the hand
and show him how you want to be touched,
456
00:25:31,434 --> 00:25:36,486
how can you receive pleasure,
to be, uh, happy?
457
00:25:36,737 --> 00:25:37,906
That's what I'm looking for.
458
00:25:37,990 --> 00:25:40,119
It doesn't have to be with words
it has to be something ...
459
00:25:40,202 --> 00:25:41,496
Well, men, normally,
they don't care, right?
460
00:25:41,581 --> 00:25:42,498
That is not like that.
461
00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:46,006
Julie, it's very important to you,
young people are watching you.
462
00:25:46,381 --> 00:25:51,224
It is important to say that the majority
of men care a lot.
463
00:25:51,308 --> 00:25:54,188
Some, neither you nor Andy,
but some men,
464
00:25:55,190 --> 00:25:58,155
they say if they don't receive
What they want...
465
00:25:58,238 --> 00:26:00,075
- Yes.
- ... there is a word for that,
466
00:26:00,159 --> 00:26:01,328
the word is ...
467
00:26:01,411 --> 00:26:02,748
[Conan] Give what
are you talking now
468
00:26:02,831 --> 00:26:04,042
- [censored] fucking.
- [Conan O'Brien] What?
469
00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:05,545
- [censored] Cojonera. Say it.
- [audience laughs]
470
00:26:05,712 --> 00:26:07,799
I'm not going to ... I'm not going to say that.
471
00:26:08,258 --> 00:26:11,014
No, I won't say that, no!
472
00:26:11,348 --> 00:26:14,479
[Dra. Ruth] I was frustrated that the term existed cojonera
473
00:26:14,563 --> 00:26:18,195
and there was nothing for women who did not reach orgasm.
474
00:26:18,613 --> 00:26:21,201
We should coin
a new term,
475
00:26:21,284 --> 00:26:25,042
so that she could say:
"Honey, I need something more
476
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,545
that hugs, kisses and touches. "
477
00:26:26,587 --> 00:26:29,092
- [Conan O'Brien] Yes.
- The term could be vaginera .
478
00:26:29,258 --> 00:26:31,096
- [laughs]
- So, now...
479
00:26:34,352 --> 00:26:36,649
but ... but I'll tell you.
480
00:26:37,943 --> 00:26:40,949
[applause and celebrations]
481
00:26:41,659 --> 00:26:47,504
[Dr. Ruth] It has a bit to do with my need to make decisions
482
00:26:47,754 --> 00:26:53,056
the idea that women take the initiative
483
00:26:53,140 --> 00:26:57,398
and take responsibility for themselves
484
00:26:57,481 --> 00:26:59,570
and his own sexuality.
485
00:27:00,237 --> 00:27:03,201
I admired you for a long time
486
00:27:03,661 --> 00:27:09,046
and part of what you've done
really allowed women like myself
487
00:27:09,130 --> 00:27:13,096
speak openly and be decisive
488
00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:16,812
to talk about topics like sex.
489
00:27:16,896 --> 00:27:19,192
Well it's something we're doing
all together, it seems to me.
490
00:27:19,651 --> 00:27:22,741
I never heard women before
tell the truth about sex in public.
491
00:27:27,834 --> 00:27:29,505
[Miriam] You once told me that ...
492
00:27:29,588 --> 00:27:31,216
that you raised me with certain values
but I took them too far.
493
00:27:31,299 --> 00:27:32,384
DAUGHTER OF DR. RUTH
494
00:27:32,468 --> 00:27:36,560
You wanted me to be a feminist
but you said that at dinner,
495
00:27:36,644 --> 00:27:39,023
let the man pay
occasionally.
496
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,612
You don't always have to pay yourself.
497
00:27:42,822 --> 00:27:46,246
Oh you know what you give me things
who talk about feminism?
498
00:27:46,329 --> 00:27:47,414
GRANDDAUGHTER OF DR. RUTH
499
00:27:47,498 --> 00:27:49,586
- Are you a feminist?
- [Dra. Ruth] Nope.
500
00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:52,634
- Because?
- I'm old-fashioned and square.
501
00:27:52,717 --> 00:27:56,642
Don't you think men and women
should we have equal rights?
502
00:27:56,934 --> 00:27:58,646
- Yes.
- [Miriam] Does the same pay?
503
00:27:58,729 --> 00:28:00,482
Sure you do, it still pays.
504
00:28:01,317 --> 00:28:03,405
What about abortion?
Should women decide?
505
00:28:03,488 --> 00:28:04,908
[Dra. Ruth] Sure. I already told.
506
00:28:04,992 --> 00:28:05,994
Okay, so you are a feminist.
507
00:28:06,202 --> 00:28:07,329
[Dra. Ruth] No, I already said ...
508
00:28:07,413 --> 00:28:10,545
I recently asked him,
You know, if she was a feminist.
509
00:28:10,837 --> 00:28:14,093
And she said no
and I got very angry.
510
00:28:14,176 --> 00:28:17,517
Everything she does i>
is what feminists do.
511
00:28:17,601 --> 00:28:21,775
Talk about family planning, support gay rights,
512
00:28:21,859 --> 00:28:24,113
AIDS research, right to decide.
513
00:28:24,196 --> 00:28:26,619
But she doesn't consider herself a feminist.
514
00:28:26,702 --> 00:28:29,625
[Miriam] In our language,
they would clearly call you a feminist.
515
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:33,883
What you reject is activism,
the protest, you know ...
516
00:28:33,966 --> 00:28:35,469
- [Leora] Burning bras.
- The burning of bras.
517
00:28:35,553 --> 00:28:37,724
I don't want to talk about burnt bras.
518
00:28:38,099 --> 00:28:42,316
But I think people see you
as a feminist role model.
519
00:28:43,026 --> 00:28:45,865
OK, it's OK,
I don't want them to change what they think.
520
00:28:45,948 --> 00:28:48,119
- [Leora] Fine, but ...
- I brought you a hat, okay?
521
00:28:48,203 --> 00:28:51,459
[Leora] Yes, but instead
to give me things that say "feminist"
522
00:28:51,543 --> 00:28:52,962
you should keep them for yourself.
523
00:28:53,923 --> 00:28:56,512
- Just say it. "I am a feminist."
- Not.
524
00:28:57,889 --> 00:28:59,100
- [Dra. Ruth] But I love you.
- [Miriam] Say "I'm not a ..."
525
00:28:59,183 --> 00:29:00,561
"I am not a radical feminist."
526
00:29:00,645 --> 00:29:05,153
"I am not a radical feminist"
and I love my granddaughter.
527
00:29:28,366 --> 00:29:31,497
[Dra. Ruth] Once, when I was already in the orphanage,
528
00:29:31,957 --> 00:29:36,967
my father was allowed return from labor camp to Frankfurt.
529
00:29:38,094 --> 00:29:44,064
The war had started and it was a place very dangerous for my parents.
530
00:29:45,025 --> 00:29:48,323
But they never wrote about sadness
531
00:29:48,406 --> 00:29:52,080
in the letters he received every week.
532
00:29:54,711 --> 00:29:58,176
I saved each of them.
533
00:30:08,196 --> 00:30:09,699
[mother] My dear Karola,
534
00:30:10,576 --> 00:30:14,041
your beautiful letter of December 15 arrived today.
535
00:30:15,001 --> 00:30:20,095
Surely your Hanukkah party it will be finished. Was it pretty?
536
00:30:21,305 --> 00:30:25,731
We haven't heard from Uncle Max. We hope to hear from you soon.
537
00:30:26,984 --> 00:30:30,448
I wish you, my darling, the warmest regards.
538
00:30:31,033 --> 00:30:34,039
Loving kisses from your dear mother.
539
00:30:36,294 --> 00:30:39,968
[Dra. Ruth] The letters gave me much hope and joy.
540
00:30:42,599 --> 00:30:47,650
Almost all of my father's letters they were in poem form.
541
00:30:49,529 --> 00:30:55,248
[father] Dear Karola, a good verse You must know well, it takes a lot of effort.
542
00:30:55,625 --> 00:30:59,841
Maybe one day I can teach you so that you can also rhyme.
543
00:31:01,135 --> 00:31:05,393
It's easier to say in a poem what it costs to say in prose.
544
00:31:06,103 --> 00:31:11,030
And think about this. If you were at home, you wouldn't have letters.
545
00:31:13,827 --> 00:31:18,044
[young Ruth] I'm in the eighth grade now and next spring I will finish school.
546
00:31:19,088 --> 00:31:21,217
Hopefully I can continue my education
547
00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:25,100
because for my future profession It would be great to go to school.
548
00:31:25,935 --> 00:31:28,941
But the girls from the orphanage they can't go to high school.
549
00:31:32,155 --> 00:31:33,575
[Dra. Ruth] Of all of us,
550
00:31:34,034 --> 00:31:37,416
you were the smartest,
even smarter than me.
551
00:31:38,126 --> 00:31:41,925
Your influence on me
it had to do with your intellect.
552
00:31:42,719 --> 00:31:45,098
- Maybe.
- No, this is very serious.
553
00:31:45,181 --> 00:31:47,060
You're lucky because ...
554
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:51,653
they let you go
to the village school ...
555
00:31:52,029 --> 00:31:53,364
- Yes.
-... and not me.
556
00:31:53,782 --> 00:31:55,493
- It is right.
- Because the girls
557
00:31:55,578 --> 00:31:58,751
- they had to be maids ...
- It is right.
558
00:31:58,834 --> 00:32:04,178
... but my father wanted me to learn.
Nobody takes away your knowledge.
559
00:32:07,602 --> 00:32:11,233
Walter went to school during the day.
560
00:32:12,235 --> 00:32:14,908
him At night he would hide under my bed i>
561
00:32:15,534 --> 00:32:20,961
and he took the books to rest i>
of the staircase, where there was light
562
00:32:21,755 --> 00:32:26,556
and could read history, language and geography.
563
00:32:27,767 --> 00:32:29,436
What were you doing under the bed?
564
00:32:29,687 --> 00:32:30,606
Tremble.
565
00:32:30,689 --> 00:32:32,150
- Tremble?
- Yes.
566
00:32:32,234 --> 00:32:35,448
I was afraid of being caught.
567
00:32:37,285 --> 00:32:41,085
A few times Riesenfeld came
568
00:32:41,168 --> 00:32:43,590
Let's see if everything was fine ...
569
00:32:43,674 --> 00:32:45,009
[Dra. Ruth laughs]
570
00:32:45,093 --> 00:32:47,515
... and I was under the bed, afraid he would look.
571
00:32:48,892 --> 00:32:52,650
What I learned in the day
572
00:32:53,777 --> 00:32:55,698
she taught him at night.
573
00:32:56,282 --> 00:32:58,286
He transferred the knowledge,
574
00:32:58,745 --> 00:33:00,666
but she absorbed it.
575
00:33:01,041 --> 00:33:03,672
If you are not smart, you can't do it.
576
00:33:07,972 --> 00:33:09,391
[Dra. Ruth]
I am very grateful to Switzerland.
577
00:33:09,851 --> 00:33:13,107
They gave me a roof and food
578
00:33:14,276 --> 00:33:17,575
but I also know that they used
to people like Riesenfeld,
579
00:33:18,034 --> 00:33:20,956
to run the orphanage. Stupid.
580
00:33:21,541 --> 00:33:25,799
Instead of saying:
"Your parents sacrificed
581
00:33:26,509 --> 00:33:29,974
his only girl to save her ",
582
00:33:30,058 --> 00:33:33,732
said our parents
they didn't love us.
583
00:33:34,149 --> 00:33:37,155
That having had a child
she would never have left him.
584
00:33:38,324 --> 00:33:40,955
There are some things that I cannot forgive.
585
00:33:47,217 --> 00:33:49,806
[young Ruth] I turned thirteen yesterday.
586
00:33:49,889 --> 00:33:53,522
They allowed me to go with the older girls to the village pool.
587
00:33:54,398 --> 00:33:57,028
I can jump now of the three-meter springboard.
588
00:33:57,530 --> 00:33:59,491
[water noise]
589
00:33:59,951 --> 00:34:01,328
[mother] My dear Karola,
590
00:34:01,871 --> 00:34:05,253
I look forward to the day so I can read your journal.
591
00:34:05,796 --> 00:34:08,677
I hope you grow up to become in a capable young woman,
592
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,098
always healthy and happy.
593
00:34:11,725 --> 00:34:13,895
Your birthday present will come later.
594
00:34:14,354 --> 00:34:16,400
It may take a while.
595
00:34:17,110 --> 00:34:21,368
[Dra. Ruth] I realized it for the first time that something horrible had happened
596
00:34:21,911 --> 00:34:23,255
when the letters no longer arrived.
597
00:34:28,550 --> 00:34:29,969
[Young Ruth] It's been almost seven weeks
598
00:34:30,053 --> 00:34:32,767
no letters from my parents or grandmother.
599
00:34:36,023 --> 00:34:40,114
Today is already nine weeks and one day no letters from my parents.
600
00:34:43,287 --> 00:34:48,005
I am here for three years. I must go to bed.
601
00:34:48,882 --> 00:34:54,727
Good night mom, dad, and all my relatives.
602
00:34:58,985 --> 00:35:02,952
Yesterday I helped pick up twelve children who entered Switzerland illegally.
603
00:35:03,912 --> 00:35:06,960
A girl from Hungary told us all the suffering she saw.
604
00:35:08,505 --> 00:35:13,055
Mass deaths, gas chambers and other horrible things.
605
00:35:16,646 --> 00:35:20,361
It's been more than five years no news from my family.
606
00:35:21,405 --> 00:35:24,327
I would very much like to revive the days with my parents,
607
00:35:25,037 --> 00:35:27,167
I didn't know what they meant to me.
608
00:35:28,545 --> 00:35:30,298
I know I shouldn't lose hope,
609
00:35:30,716 --> 00:35:34,097
but it's not easy to believe I'll see you again.
610
00:35:47,833 --> 00:35:48,710
WNYC RADIO
611
00:35:48,794 --> 00:35:52,217
[Melissa] I have great respect
for you and I'm glad to have you here.
612
00:35:52,467 --> 00:35:55,599
[Dra. Ruth] Thank you. Very well!
613
00:35:56,893 --> 00:35:58,855
Dr. Ruth, it's great to see you.
614
00:35:58,939 --> 00:36:00,526
[Dra. Ruth] A pleasure,
I've heard of you.
615
00:36:04,909 --> 00:36:09,000
We're back. It's noon at WNYC,
i am jonathan capehart
616
00:36:09,585 --> 00:36:11,463
and I'm talking to the iconic
617
00:36:11,548 --> 00:36:14,427
world famous sex therapist
and as a couple, Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
618
00:36:14,512 --> 00:36:15,388
JOURNALIST
619
00:36:15,471 --> 00:36:16,891
- In her last book ...
- [Dra. Ruth] Wait a minute, Jonathan.
620
00:36:16,975 --> 00:36:17,935
Jonathan, wait.
621
00:36:18,018 --> 00:36:21,191
- [Jonathan] Yes, ma'am.
- Say the word "sex" with more emotion.
622
00:36:21,275 --> 00:36:22,318
[nervous laugh]
623
00:36:22,402 --> 00:36:25,324
[Dra. Ruth] Say the word "sex"
as if he cares.
624
00:36:25,408 --> 00:36:26,870
- [Jonathan] Okay.
- With heat,
625
00:36:27,287 --> 00:36:29,499
with excitement, with incitement.
626
00:36:29,959 --> 00:36:31,880
- [Dra. Ruth] Start over.
- Well, yes, ma'am.
627
00:36:32,673 --> 00:36:34,844
[Jonathan] Hey, I'm talking
with the iconic,
628
00:36:34,927 --> 00:36:39,060
world renowned sex therapist
and as a couple, Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
629
00:36:39,144 --> 00:36:40,062
How's it going?
630
00:36:40,146 --> 00:36:41,566
- It was wonderful.
- [laughs]
631
00:36:41,858 --> 00:36:44,112
I want to thank you
personally, Dr. Ruth.
632
00:36:44,655 --> 00:36:48,914
I grew up as a young gay
listening to it on the radio
633
00:36:48,997 --> 00:36:52,462
and it was wonderful to hear someone
saying positive things
634
00:36:52,546 --> 00:36:56,261
about that aspect of my life,
which I was trying to accept.
635
00:36:56,763 --> 00:37:02,357
Dr. Ruth, you wrote that you hate
the word "normal".
636
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:03,442
- Correct.
- Because?
637
00:37:03,777 --> 00:37:05,321
Because we do not know what is normal.
638
00:37:05,404 --> 00:37:08,995
And I want to say something about
what you said, Jonathan.
639
00:37:09,371 --> 00:37:13,964
In those days, in 1981,
when I started on WYNY ...
640
00:37:14,214 --> 00:37:15,717
- If right.
- ... Speaking of Sex ,
641
00:37:16,093 --> 00:37:19,099
no one was talking about homosexuality.
642
00:37:19,767 --> 00:37:22,982
The only thing I ever did
643
00:37:23,482 --> 00:37:26,656
that is to say that respect
it is not a matter of debate.
644
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:29,578
There is no normal.
645
00:37:30,204 --> 00:37:33,293
Look, we have a call
from Brooklyn. Michelle.
646
00:37:34,045 --> 00:37:37,553
[Michelle] When I was a teenager she in the eighties she listened to her, i>
647
00:37:37,636 --> 00:37:40,057
and there is a lot of shame around sex.
648
00:37:40,141 --> 00:37:43,940
And the sight of her without judgment of her saved my life. i>
649
00:37:44,190 --> 00:37:47,238
- Oh, good to hear that.
- [Michelle] Thank you, you are an angel.
650
00:37:47,405 --> 00:37:50,036
I'm glad to hear that,
I agree to be an angel
651
00:37:50,119 --> 00:37:52,875
I am a Jewish angel, great. Thanks.
652
00:37:52,958 --> 00:37:55,129
You know, thinking of Michelle,
653
00:37:55,212 --> 00:37:58,887
What does it feel like people
that he has never seen
654
00:37:58,970 --> 00:38:02,101
tell you things ranging from thank you
655
00:38:02,185 --> 00:38:04,648
to "did you save my life?"
656
00:38:04,732 --> 00:38:07,571
As she knows, I'm five foot four,
657
00:38:08,489 --> 00:38:11,954
And I feel like five foot three.
658
00:38:12,748 --> 00:38:15,796
But I can't sit down to say
I've done a good job.
659
00:38:16,296 --> 00:38:17,465
We must continue ...
660
00:38:17,966 --> 00:38:20,514
... speaking of sexual problems,
661
00:38:20,889 --> 00:38:24,772
and the problems
of sexually transmitted diseases.
662
00:38:28,780 --> 00:38:31,619
Today we will talk about something very serious.
663
00:38:31,702 --> 00:38:34,625
We will talk about the AIDS health crisis
664
00:38:34,708 --> 00:38:39,844
and about how it particularly affects
to the homosexual community.
665
00:38:41,138 --> 00:38:43,768
[Tom Brokaw] The scientists from the center for disease control
666
00:38:43,852 --> 00:38:46,649
Atlanta showed today the results of a study
667
00:38:46,983 --> 00:38:49,362
showing that the lifestyle
of certain homosexual men ...
668
00:38:49,445 --> 00:38:51,074
CANCER STUDY
GAY CANCER
669
00:38:51,158 --> 00:38:53,830
... has triggered an epidemic from a rare form of cancer.
670
00:38:54,707 --> 00:38:57,546
[Dra. Ruth]
It was a very unpopular topic ...
671
00:38:57,963 --> 00:38:58,923
AIDS KILLS
QUARANTINE TO THE WEIRD
672
00:38:59,007 --> 00:39:01,804
... because then the gay they were not only a minority,
673
00:39:02,013 --> 00:39:03,098
but they were despised.
674
00:39:03,182 --> 00:39:04,100
QUARANTINE IN MANHATTAN ...
... WORLD'S CAPITAL OF AIDS!
675
00:39:04,184 --> 00:39:06,814
[Billy Graham] It could be a judgment from God about us,
676
00:39:07,231 --> 00:39:12,200
in return for our promiscuous society and our free living system.
677
00:39:13,076 --> 00:39:16,458
When we violate God's laws,
we pay for it with our body.
678
00:39:18,003 --> 00:39:18,922
BELIEVE IN THE GOSPEL!
679
00:39:19,005 --> 00:39:20,466
[Dra. Ruth] I took it very seriously
680
00:39:20,550 --> 00:39:23,806
for my past as a refugee German Jewry.
681
00:39:23,890 --> 00:39:25,977
JUDÍA RESIDENTIAL AREA
NO PASSING
682
00:39:26,269 --> 00:39:29,818
Clearly, she had sensitivity i>
683
00:39:29,902 --> 00:39:33,325
for the people that others they considered sub-human.
684
00:39:33,743 --> 00:39:34,912
[male listener] Hello, Dr. Ruth.
685
00:39:34,995 --> 00:39:38,503
I have a girlfriend with a lot from gay friends.
686
00:39:38,586 --> 00:39:40,799
He smokes their cigarettes
687
00:39:40,882 --> 00:39:43,178
and drink their coffees and cocas and eats his sandwiches.
688
00:39:43,262 --> 00:39:46,686
Can I get AIDS? Because I am, you know,
689
00:39:46,769 --> 00:39:49,399
a healthy man, and I don't want to getting AIDS from my girlfriend,
690
00:39:49,692 --> 00:39:51,403
that she goes around with homosexuals.
691
00:39:52,071 --> 00:39:53,115
AIDS. WE NEED RESEARCH,
NOT HYSTERY.
692
00:39:53,198 --> 00:39:55,244
[John] Dr. Ruth's program reached a peak of popularity
693
00:39:55,327 --> 00:39:57,541
when the AIDS crisis hit.
694
00:39:58,918 --> 00:40:02,718
It was a sad time. People were dying everywhere ...
695
00:40:02,801 --> 00:40:03,720
AIDS DISASTER AREA
696
00:40:03,803 --> 00:40:04,888
PEOPLE LIVING WITH AIDS
697
00:40:04,972 --> 00:40:08,646
... and we were right in the middle, doing a sexuality show.
698
00:40:09,188 --> 00:40:13,990
[Dra. Ruth] Some people are attracted to it people of the same sex,
699
00:40:14,073 --> 00:40:16,494
and I strongly believe
700
00:40:16,579 --> 00:40:18,958
that we, as a society,
701
00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:23,383
we owe it to those people all our respect.
702
00:40:24,302 --> 00:40:25,555
[man] I'm angry, doctor.
703
00:40:25,764 --> 00:40:27,893
- [Dra. Ruth] Why is he angry?
- I think everyone should be.
704
00:40:27,976 --> 00:40:32,276
I see people who die alone
without their families.
705
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,491
And I see pity. There is a lot of sorrow ...
706
00:40:35,575 --> 00:40:39,541
This is ... this is a virus. This is an epidemic.
707
00:40:39,625 --> 00:40:43,465
It seems that the largest proportion
of people dying
708
00:40:43,549 --> 00:40:45,344
and succumb to the AIDS virus
709
00:40:45,427 --> 00:40:49,102
they are part of the homosexual community,
and injecting drug addicts
710
00:40:49,185 --> 00:40:54,655
I don't waste a moment of my time
in blaming one or the other group.
711
00:40:54,738 --> 00:40:58,370
I say: let's educate and find the cure.
712
00:40:59,205 --> 00:41:01,376
[Greg] How was the therapist
America's most famous sex ...
713
00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:02,420
GREG WILLENBORG'S VOICE
TELEVISION PRODUCER
714
00:41:02,504 --> 00:41:03,673
... people trusted her.
715
00:41:04,382 --> 00:41:09,058
And she started to bring about a change
on the look at HIV and AIDS.
716
00:41:09,726 --> 00:41:11,522
[Dra. Ruth] What makes me sad
717
00:41:12,566 --> 00:41:16,657
is that AIDS is still very important.
718
00:41:17,074 --> 00:41:19,287
So you must be careful,
719
00:41:19,663 --> 00:41:21,332
they must know who they are going with.
720
00:41:21,584 --> 00:41:25,466
And they have to ... if they don't know
a lot to the person,
721
00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:26,760
use condoms.
722
00:41:29,641 --> 00:41:32,856
I have many friends who died of that horrible disease.
723
00:41:34,902 --> 00:41:37,323
But I'm always optimistic.
724
00:41:37,949 --> 00:41:41,540
And I still believe there will be a cure.
725
00:41:44,003 --> 00:41:46,842
HAIFA, ISRAEL
726
00:41:52,646 --> 00:41:54,398
[Marga speaks in Hebrew]
Here it is!
727
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:57,404
Did you have a drink before you came?
728
00:41:58,448 --> 00:41:59,450
[Dra. Ruth] Shalom!
729
00:41:59,535 --> 00:42:00,787
CHILDHOOD FRIEND OF DR. RUTH
730
00:42:02,551 --> 00:42:04,795
[Loam]
You have horrible hair
731
00:42:04,878 --> 00:42:06,256
you have to go to the hairdresser.
732
00:42:06,339 --> 00:42:09,638
- Is it very horrible?
- Yes, you look horrible.
733
00:42:09,721 --> 00:42:13,270
But they did my hair the other day.
734
00:42:17,529 --> 00:42:21,662
[in English] I don't have time
for hairdressers, but my best friend
735
00:42:22,121 --> 00:42:26,880
she already complains about the look of my hair. Well.
736
00:42:31,974 --> 00:42:35,444
[Loam]
It was May 8, 45.
737
00:42:36,024 --> 00:42:36,942
I was...
738
00:42:37,026 --> 00:42:38,069
[speaks German]
739
00:42:38,153 --> 00:42:39,740
[Dra. Ruth in English]
I was peeling potatoes.
740
00:42:39,823 --> 00:42:42,871
[Marga] ... peeling potatoes for the entire orphanage.
741
00:42:43,914 --> 00:42:45,793
And I heard the war was over.
742
00:42:45,877 --> 00:42:50,093
- [radio static]
- [man speaking German]
743
00:42:51,930 --> 00:42:54,018
My first thought was ...
744
00:42:54,895 --> 00:42:58,258
What will happen to my parents?
745
00:42:59,071 --> 00:43:03,286
[Dra. Ruth] The orphanage received the list of survivors
746
00:43:04,121 --> 00:43:07,671
but instead of calling to children individually,
747
00:43:08,380 --> 00:43:10,258
they sat us together
748
00:43:10,635 --> 00:43:12,889
and read it for everyone.
749
00:43:14,016 --> 00:43:16,980
My family was not on any list.
750
00:43:18,651 --> 00:43:22,449
We were worried about knowing what would happen to us.
751
00:43:23,076 --> 00:43:24,286
Now what?
752
00:43:25,790 --> 00:43:29,422
We were no longer Germans.
We were never Swiss.
753
00:43:30,633 --> 00:43:33,931
They put us on a train.
754
00:43:34,891 --> 00:43:39,860
and we saw another train full of Nazis.
755
00:43:40,778 --> 00:43:44,953
Those German prisoners They looked out the windows.
756
00:43:45,036 --> 00:43:49,546
And I remember thinking: "Maybe you killed my family."
757
00:43:52,259 --> 00:43:53,929
When we arrived in Marseille,
758
00:43:54,305 --> 00:43:56,392
I had never seen the sea.
759
00:43:56,894 --> 00:44:00,025
- Not.
- I thought, "Oh, God,
760
00:44:00,108 --> 00:44:01,152
check it out.
761
00:44:02,404 --> 00:44:06,830
Little Karola Siegel, seventeen years old, from Frankfurt am Main
762
00:44:07,582 --> 00:44:10,253
she is going by boat to Palestine. " i>
763
00:44:12,341 --> 00:44:13,969
We went to a Kibbutz,
764
00:44:14,513 --> 00:44:17,560
what is a settlement collective for Jews.
765
00:44:18,521 --> 00:44:21,108
There was a lot of hatred towards Germany,
766
00:44:21,192 --> 00:44:25,618
with reasons. So people who was responsible for us told me:
767
00:44:25,701 --> 00:44:29,124
"You can't call yourself Karola anymore.
She is very German. "
768
00:44:29,626 --> 00:44:35,428
And I said that if it couldn't be Karola
I would use my middle name Ruth
769
00:44:36,222 --> 00:44:40,982
because I believed with hope
770
00:44:41,315 --> 00:44:44,321
that if someone in my family was still alive,
771
00:44:44,698 --> 00:44:47,119
I would know that was my middle name.
772
00:44:47,202 --> 00:44:49,373
They would come and find me.
773
00:44:51,168 --> 00:44:55,010
KIBBUTZ RAMAT DAVID, ISRAEL
774
00:44:59,519 --> 00:45:00,813
[cow mooing]
775
00:45:01,147 --> 00:45:02,274
[Dra. Ruth] Muuu!
776
00:45:03,151 --> 00:45:04,236
They are beautiful.
777
00:45:07,034 --> 00:45:08,161
Loam,
778
00:45:09,121 --> 00:45:14,507
This reminds me of my first night
779
00:45:16,595 --> 00:45:18,807
His name was Kalman.
780
00:45:19,976 --> 00:45:22,815
He was very handsome.
781
00:45:23,567 --> 00:45:25,028
he was in the army i>
782
00:45:25,403 --> 00:45:28,619
and I was visiting his brother Shaul, i>
783
00:45:29,328 --> 00:45:30,706
that he was my boyfriend.
784
00:45:32,459 --> 00:45:35,340
But only from kissing and hugging.
785
00:45:36,593 --> 00:45:38,054
[man] Were you dating her brother?
786
00:45:38,137 --> 00:45:40,559
You ask such stupid questions!
787
00:45:40,977 --> 00:45:43,439
Yes, but I said goodbye to Shaul.
788
00:45:43,524 --> 00:45:46,320
And I went with his younger brother, Kalman. i>
789
00:45:47,364 --> 00:45:50,538
Shaul told his brother:
790
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:53,418
"Take good care of her."
791
00:45:53,919 --> 00:45:55,338
[speaking Hebrew]
Take good care of her.
792
00:45:58,721 --> 00:46:01,475
[in English] I knew I should go to a private place,
793
00:46:02,227 --> 00:46:07,697
so Kalman and I went
to a haystack like this, upstairs.
794
00:46:12,205 --> 00:46:16,965
That was my first night of real sex.
795
00:46:17,675 --> 00:46:18,761
Is it a nice memory?
796
00:46:19,136 --> 00:46:20,263
It is a nice memory.
797
00:46:22,392 --> 00:46:23,937
[Dra. Ruth] It was a youthful love,
798
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:28,989
but like many young loves, I had no future.
799
00:46:30,283 --> 00:46:36,003
A few months later she told me: i>
"we have to end the relationship."
800
00:46:36,922 --> 00:46:39,343
I wanted us to be together forever.
801
00:46:40,261 --> 00:46:44,019
He did not want to.
He said it would be a burden.
802
00:46:46,190 --> 00:46:47,985
[Young Ruth] Why did this have to happen?
803
00:46:48,654 --> 00:46:50,950
I gave him all the love I could
804
00:46:51,283 --> 00:46:54,541
but she took everything and gave me nothing. i>
805
00:46:56,377 --> 00:47:00,553
One word comes to me all the time: single.
806
00:47:01,930 --> 00:47:07,023
I am so alone in this world. I miss my parents terribly.
807
00:47:16,208 --> 00:47:19,381
YAD VASHEM
WORLD HOLOCAUST MEMORY CENTER
808
00:47:33,242 --> 00:47:36,248
[Dra. Ruth] The Nazis wore detailed records.
809
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:42,219
And for many years no one wanted to see head on
810
00:47:42,803 --> 00:47:44,431
what happened to my parents.
811
00:47:45,935 --> 00:47:48,272
But as difficult as it is for me,
812
00:47:48,815 --> 00:47:54,493
I have the obligation to know what was the fate of my family.
813
00:47:57,290 --> 00:47:58,334
SON OF DR. RUTH
814
00:47:58,417 --> 00:48:01,591
I was thinking, you know, when
my parents told me about the holocaust,
815
00:48:01,675 --> 00:48:04,221
or when my mother told me
816
00:48:04,597 --> 00:48:07,435
that she never saw her parents again
from the age of 10.
817
00:48:08,396 --> 00:48:12,989
I have no memory of some moments.
818
00:48:14,116 --> 00:48:17,999
[Miriam] When I grew up, I realized
that she had no maternal grandparents.
819
00:48:18,917 --> 00:48:21,798
So she asked him,
and she answered me.
820
00:48:22,550 --> 00:48:25,973
But my mother didn't give me information.
821
00:48:26,933 --> 00:48:29,647
[Simmy] Good,
What is her maiden name?
822
00:48:29,731 --> 00:48:33,446
Siegel, S ‐ I ‐ E ‐ G ‐ E ‐ L.
823
00:48:33,905 --> 00:48:34,949
COMMUNICATIONS DIVISION
824
00:48:35,033 --> 00:48:36,578
We have a lot of Siegels here.
825
00:48:37,078 --> 00:48:39,458
Find Julius Siegel.
826
00:48:40,544 --> 00:48:44,635
- Julius?
- Yes, my father, Julius. That's him.
827
00:48:45,261 --> 00:48:50,063
- What does he say? List of...?
- List of murdered Jews in Germany.
828
00:48:50,731 --> 00:48:53,570
[Dra. Ruth] she died in Auschwitz. 1942.
829
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:56,200
Oh boy
830
00:48:57,828 --> 00:49:00,626
My mother's name was Hanauer.
831
00:49:01,001 --> 00:49:02,045
Irma.
832
00:49:04,299 --> 00:49:05,385
[humming]
833
00:49:06,763 --> 00:49:08,600
- This too...
- Oh, that's it!
834
00:49:09,101 --> 00:49:10,813
- Neither Hanauer, she's that.
- Not Hanauer.
835
00:49:10,896 --> 00:49:13,985
- What does it say? She was born in ...
- He was born in Wiesenfield ...
836
00:49:14,069 --> 00:49:17,450
- I was also born in Wiesenfield. Yes.
- ... Germany, in 1903.
837
00:49:17,535 --> 00:49:21,375
- Part of the war lived in ...
- Frankfurt am Main, Germany.
838
00:49:21,458 --> 00:49:23,505
During the war he was
in the Litzmann Ghetto.
839
00:49:23,588 --> 00:49:25,174
[Dra. Ruth] Right,
And nobody knows what happened?
840
00:49:25,258 --> 00:49:27,053
[Simmy] Irma was killed
in the holocaust,
841
00:49:27,137 --> 00:49:29,474
- but there is no specific location.
- [Dra. Ruth] There is no location.
842
00:49:33,023 --> 00:49:34,151
Oh boy
843
00:49:35,445 --> 00:49:36,573
Sad.
844
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:41,373
My mother has no date of death,
845
00:49:42,125 --> 00:49:45,924
she just says "verschollen"
which is a horrible word.
846
00:49:46,008 --> 00:49:47,970
Verschollen means missing,
847
00:49:48,220 --> 00:49:51,644
as if she had disappeared from the world.
848
00:49:52,312 --> 00:49:56,988
She was killed somewhere
but nobody knows, nobody knows where,
849
00:49:57,698 --> 00:49:58,658
nothing.
850
00:49:58,742 --> 00:50:04,002
I know my father was killed
at Auschwitz, and the date.
851
00:50:05,254 --> 00:50:07,927
- You're recording, Ruth.
- Ruth K.
852
00:50:08,010 --> 00:50:09,805
The K is for Karola.
853
00:50:10,641 --> 00:50:12,352
- I am...
- [Simmy] You were a survivor.
854
00:50:12,686 --> 00:50:14,439
[Dra. Ruth] My name is not
myself a survivor.
855
00:50:14,524 --> 00:50:18,698
I call myself an orphan of the Holocaust,
856
00:50:18,782 --> 00:50:21,788
because I was not in a field
but I survived.
857
00:50:37,402 --> 00:50:41,118
Thank you all for keeping it alive the memory of the Holocaust.
858
00:50:42,245 --> 00:50:47,213
If they hadn't sent me to Switzerland I wouldn't be alive today.
859
00:50:48,382 --> 00:50:51,263
I'll cry later, when no one is around.
860
00:50:51,764 --> 00:50:54,854
The Yekkes, German Jews,
they don't cry in public.
861
00:50:55,856 --> 00:50:57,610
Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer.
862
00:51:01,784 --> 00:51:06,126
[Miriam] I think the trauma for that unimaginable loss of her parents i>
863
00:51:06,753 --> 00:51:10,343
she reconfigured her entire emotional map.
864
00:51:12,305 --> 00:51:14,935
And she doesn't allow herself, i>
865
00:51:15,646 --> 00:51:17,691
you know, that deep cry
866
00:51:17,775 --> 00:51:20,781
what do you let go when you free yourself
of a very great pain.
867
00:51:21,741 --> 00:51:25,456
I don't know if she ever had that.
868
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:35,434
YAVNE, ISRAEL
869
00:51:40,737 --> 00:51:43,993
I will go no further
there is a warning about a dog.
870
00:51:44,077 --> 00:51:45,079
[Ryan] There are no dogs.
871
00:51:46,916 --> 00:51:49,588
- No dog? How do you know?
- [Ryan] There isn't. I just came in.
872
00:51:49,839 --> 00:51:51,718
[Ryan laughs]
873
00:51:53,847 --> 00:51:55,892
[Dra. Ruth] I don't trust anyone.
874
00:51:57,103 --> 00:51:58,147
- Shalom!
- [in Hebrew]
875
00:51:58,230 --> 00:51:59,149
WEAPONS COLLECTOR
876
00:51:59,232 --> 00:52:00,234
[Dra. Ruth speaking Hebrew]
877
00:52:00,944 --> 00:52:02,948
I've already kissed your mezuzah.
878
00:52:03,115 --> 00:52:04,367
[in English] Welcome, welcome.
879
00:52:04,451 --> 00:52:05,954
[Dra. Ruth in Hebrew]
Do you have dogs or not?
880
00:52:06,163 --> 00:52:07,206
[Shmil] I don't have dogs.
881
00:52:07,290 --> 00:52:08,710
[in English] No, okay.
882
00:52:12,008 --> 00:52:14,387
[in Hebrew]
This is an Israeli paratrooper's beret.
883
00:52:14,471 --> 00:52:15,724
is a gift for you.
884
00:52:21,443 --> 00:52:23,444
[people scream]
885
00:52:25,201 --> 00:52:28,875
[young Ruth] The political situation in Palestine it is increasingly tense.
886
00:52:29,375 --> 00:52:32,800
Since the UN left the country in separate states,
887
00:52:32,883 --> 00:52:36,223
a guerrilla has awakened between Jews and Arabs.
888
00:52:38,603 --> 00:52:40,982
In Germany I saw firsthand
889
00:52:41,066 --> 00:52:44,155
what happens to the Jews when they don't have their own country.
890
00:52:44,657 --> 00:52:47,538
So I have completed my training as a Haganah sniper,
891
00:52:48,121 --> 00:52:49,959
the Jewish underground army.
892
00:52:52,421 --> 00:52:55,971
In practice, I hit the target almost every attempt.
893
00:52:56,973 --> 00:53:00,897
Last night I was on a roof with a machine gun
894
00:53:00,981 --> 00:53:04,530
watching Israeli soldiers who checked each car for weapons.
895
00:53:06,199 --> 00:53:09,999
My job as a sniper is to call if something happens.
896
00:53:10,332 --> 00:53:12,713
And shoot if necessary.
897
00:53:13,631 --> 00:53:16,052
Thank God I never had than shoot anyone.
898
00:53:20,019 --> 00:53:21,856
That makes me very sad.
899
00:53:22,231 --> 00:53:24,987
Who knows how many people this killed?
900
00:53:26,489 --> 00:53:27,659
It's enough.
901
00:53:33,086 --> 00:53:37,804
[Dra. Ruth] June 4, 1948, my 20th birthday.
902
00:53:40,184 --> 00:53:44,025
I was coming back from my shift as a sniper on the roof
903
00:53:44,860 --> 00:53:47,323
and when I got to this building,
904
00:53:47,866 --> 00:53:51,081
The alarm went off and I knew what it meant.
905
00:53:51,164 --> 00:53:53,293
It meant that there was
to go to a shelter.
906
00:53:53,377 --> 00:53:55,966
- [an alarm rings]
- [heavy breathing]
907
00:53:58,095 --> 00:53:59,347
[loud crack]
908
00:53:59,430 --> 00:54:01,059
[explosion]
909
00:54:01,602 --> 00:54:05,860
[Dra. Ruth] A cannonball hit and threw me
910
00:54:06,152 --> 00:54:07,781
against the wall,
911
00:54:08,950 --> 00:54:11,706
and killed some girls next to me.
912
00:54:13,208 --> 00:54:16,006
It was a very horrible scene
913
00:54:16,423 --> 00:54:20,389
screaming, blood everywhere,
914
00:54:20,598 --> 00:54:21,976
and then silence.
915
00:54:26,527 --> 00:54:29,700
A friend opened my shoes.
916
00:54:31,787 --> 00:54:34,000
And I looked down and saw a lot of blood.
917
00:54:35,545 --> 00:54:37,632
I asked him if I would die.
918
00:54:38,718 --> 00:54:42,016
Then they took me to the hospital of the city.
919
00:54:46,984 --> 00:54:51,326
The wounds on my little feet
they were horrible.
920
00:54:51,660 --> 00:54:54,332
My foot had almost been blown off.
921
00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:58,423
The top was all twisted.
922
00:54:59,133 --> 00:55:02,056
I almost had both legs amputated.
923
00:55:03,099 --> 00:55:07,233
In the basement there were beds and beds with wounded soldiers.
924
00:55:08,151 --> 00:55:10,322
There wasn't even a hole for me.
925
00:55:10,990 --> 00:55:14,957
They put me on a book shelf
because it was so small.
926
00:55:17,461 --> 00:55:20,300
I had a very handsome male nurse.
927
00:55:21,595 --> 00:55:24,475
And I made her believe that she couldn't i>
feed myself.
928
00:55:25,310 --> 00:55:28,441
Lie. My hands
they were perfectly fine,
929
00:55:28,943 --> 00:55:31,489
but that's how he fed me
three times a day.
930
00:55:31,991 --> 00:55:35,790
And he fixed me so well that all my life i>
931
00:55:35,957 --> 00:55:37,209
I was able to water ski,
932
00:55:37,711 --> 00:55:39,463
skiing in the snow,
933
00:55:40,132 --> 00:55:41,552
ice skating,
934
00:55:42,177 --> 00:55:46,019
and I can still dance all night if I find a good partner.
935
00:55:48,566 --> 00:55:51,321
Ryan, I want you to show
that I can walk fast.
936
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:04,221
Well then you write
something else in that book
937
00:56:04,305 --> 00:56:06,184
And that's when you should say goodbye
938
00:56:06,267 --> 00:56:10,610
Dr. Ruth, how do you know
when to stay or go?
939
00:56:11,069 --> 00:56:15,620
Jonathan, I think inside your soul
940
00:56:15,870 --> 00:56:17,498
now you know.
941
00:56:17,582 --> 00:56:21,507
To the people who feel
942
00:56:21,674 --> 00:56:24,178
that is not in a good relationship,
943
00:56:24,261 --> 00:56:25,640
I suggest therapy.
944
00:56:25,723 --> 00:56:28,061
Do something to make it work.
945
00:56:28,144 --> 00:56:29,313
If not,
946
00:56:29,397 --> 00:56:33,488
at least separate,
to start a new life.
947
00:56:33,572 --> 00:56:35,868
- [Jonathan] Mmh.
- I speak from experience.
948
00:56:36,244 --> 00:56:38,582
I got married three times.
949
00:56:38,666 --> 00:56:42,882
But only my last marriage
that lasted almost 40 years,
950
00:56:43,341 --> 00:56:46,222
with Fred Westheimer,
it was the real marriage.
951
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:48,351
I tell people
952
00:56:48,435 --> 00:56:52,359
"I do not speak only from the theory,
I've really lived it. "
953
00:56:53,738 --> 00:56:57,286
The first husband it was David Bar-haim.
954
00:56:58,121 --> 00:57:02,087
He was an Israeli soldier. He was handsome.
955
00:57:02,171 --> 00:57:03,758
He was smart.
956
00:57:04,383 --> 00:57:06,137
he thought: "what luck", i>
957
00:57:06,220 --> 00:57:09,561
because I thought that no one she would marry me.
958
00:57:09,644 --> 00:57:12,149
I'm short, I thought she was ugly.
959
00:57:13,359 --> 00:57:18,119
she went to study medicine i>
at the University of Paris,
960
00:57:19,330 --> 00:57:21,794
and I went to Paris with him.
961
00:57:23,421 --> 00:57:25,008
The Sorbonne had a rule.
962
00:57:25,425 --> 00:57:27,931
Those who did not have a high school diploma
963
00:57:28,014 --> 00:57:31,939
because of the war, they could do a preparatory year.
964
00:57:32,231 --> 00:57:35,947
And if they passed the exams, they could enter La Sorbonne.
965
00:57:37,074 --> 00:57:41,040
My father valued education more than anything,
966
00:57:41,667 --> 00:57:44,130
and I wanted to continue my studies.
967
00:57:45,006 --> 00:57:46,760
I entered La Sorbonne.
968
00:57:47,469 --> 00:57:52,730
I studied at the institute of psychology and I adored it.
969
00:57:53,356 --> 00:57:55,778
I remember the Salrecheuer
970
00:57:56,445 --> 00:58:00,955
where I heard classes from greats like Piaget,
971
00:58:01,497 --> 00:58:02,709
Nagash.
972
00:58:02,834 --> 00:58:04,461
I was very short,
973
00:58:05,046 --> 00:58:07,217
the auditorium was packed,
974
00:58:07,594 --> 00:58:11,810
and knew how to find a tall handsome guy
975
00:58:12,645 --> 00:58:16,027
put me on the windowsill near the teacher.
976
00:58:16,570 --> 00:58:18,239
He was listening very well.
977
00:58:18,323 --> 00:58:20,661
I took notes and passed the exams.
978
00:58:22,206 --> 00:58:23,416
While studying,
979
00:58:24,210 --> 00:58:27,926
it was clear that David he didn't want to continue studying medicine.
980
00:58:29,428 --> 00:58:33,102
He wanted to return to his life in Israel.
981
00:58:34,731 --> 00:58:37,904
He believed that marriage i>
it would last forever,
982
00:58:38,906 --> 00:58:40,910
but I wanted to study.
983
00:58:41,703 --> 00:58:44,416
So he agreed to divorce.
984
00:58:47,715 --> 00:58:50,095
Then, in Paris, I met
985
00:58:50,513 --> 00:58:52,432
to husband number two.
986
00:58:52,517 --> 00:58:55,146
His name was Dan, he was beautiful.
987
00:58:55,815 --> 00:58:57,819
We had an affair.
988
00:58:57,902 --> 00:59:01,075
And then I got married. Not,
989
00:59:01,158 --> 00:59:02,745
I got pregnant first.
990
00:59:03,288 --> 00:59:06,837
Then I got married, because when you get pregnant,
You get married.
991
00:59:09,049 --> 00:59:13,141
When Miriam was born I was delighted.
992
00:59:14,561 --> 00:59:17,650
Having grown up without a family,
993
00:59:18,151 --> 00:59:20,990
that beautiful little baby
994
00:59:21,490 --> 00:59:23,662
it was pure joy.
995
00:59:26,626 --> 00:59:30,133
All my life I had wanted hard
996
00:59:30,342 --> 00:59:35,268
go to the US, but I thought I would never I would have enough money.
997
00:59:36,605 --> 00:59:40,403
However, there was a check
that gave automatically
998
00:59:40,696 --> 00:59:46,040
to all those who had not finished
Holocaust studies.
999
00:59:46,666 --> 00:59:51,718
Suddenly I had $ 1500, and I said to Dan:
1000
00:59:52,637 --> 00:59:57,396
"We're going to the US". We went on a ship called Liberté.
1001
00:59:58,022 --> 01:00:01,112
In fourth class, at the bottom of everything.
1002
01:00:02,322 --> 01:00:07,249
They prevented us from going up, we were supposed to stay in our class.
1003
01:00:08,919 --> 01:00:14,263
I thought: "Wait, they won't tell me I can't go to first class. "
1004
01:00:15,516 --> 01:00:20,734
So we broke all the rules
1005
01:00:21,444 --> 01:00:24,534
and we stay there every night
1006
01:00:25,034 --> 01:00:30,546
so as not to lose sight
of the Statue of Liberty.
1007
01:00:33,426 --> 01:00:36,140
I knew the poem by Emma Lazarus,
1008
01:00:36,766 --> 01:00:40,566
"Give me your tired masses, poor, piled up ".
1009
01:00:41,735 --> 01:00:45,534
And when I saw that miracle in heaven,
1010
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:48,456
the symbol of Freedom for refugees,
1011
01:00:49,249 --> 01:00:52,380
I knew he was home.
1012
01:01:02,818 --> 01:01:04,363
I wanted to show you.
1013
01:01:05,490 --> 01:01:07,703
I vote, of course.
1014
01:01:08,204 --> 01:01:11,168
Since I am now a US citizen,
I have always voted,
1015
01:01:12,212 --> 01:01:15,468
but I'm not talking about politics.
1016
01:01:16,262 --> 01:01:20,436
Someone who talks about sex as much as I do
1017
01:01:21,272 --> 01:01:22,942
It must be on the fringes of politics.
1018
01:01:23,569 --> 01:01:24,529
However...
1019
01:01:26,533 --> 01:01:29,371
Here's a cartoon of ...
1020
01:01:29,998 --> 01:01:34,716
of the most widely read newspaper in Israel.
1021
01:01:35,509 --> 01:01:40,811
I tell the presidents
from North Korea and the US:
1022
01:01:41,605 --> 01:01:44,527
"Don't worry, size doesn't matter."
1023
01:01:46,740 --> 01:01:49,996
From the beginning, I never went to television
1024
01:01:50,079 --> 01:01:51,916
to talk about politics.
1025
01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:55,381
[reporter] Dr. Ruth, what do you think
of Trump's sexual comments?
1026
01:01:55,465 --> 01:01:57,511
No, no comment.
1027
01:01:57,678 --> 01:01:59,891
[Leora] She doesn't talk about politics in public.
1028
01:02:00,475 --> 01:02:04,692
He has his ideas, I think it's not difficult
know what they are.
1029
01:02:05,944 --> 01:02:10,453
But she doesn't want her patients
1030
01:02:10,537 --> 01:02:14,545
or her followers think they can't i>
trust her for her political ideas.
1031
01:02:15,589 --> 01:02:17,133
[Joel] Of course it is in a different way of understanding
1032
01:02:17,217 --> 01:02:19,555
what is politics, right?
1033
01:02:20,014 --> 01:02:23,354
[Dra. Ruth] she called a woman,
terribly upset because ...
1034
01:02:23,437 --> 01:02:26,318
... you must have an abortion.
1035
01:02:26,820 --> 01:02:31,328
I certainly believe that abortion
it must be kept legal.
1036
01:02:31,705 --> 01:02:33,249
I'm not talking about politics,
1037
01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:35,963
but I never got engaged
1038
01:02:36,046 --> 01:02:39,887
in many topics including abortion.
1039
01:02:40,054 --> 01:02:40,931
FAMILY PLANNING
DECEIVES WOMEN
1040
01:02:41,014 --> 01:02:42,267
Even when it wasn't popular.
1041
01:02:42,727 --> 01:02:46,943
I am convinced that the law will fall
at the end of this presidency
1042
01:02:47,235 --> 01:02:50,199
and the murder of children will return
to hell where it came from.
1043
01:02:50,366 --> 01:02:53,205
I can't stop thinking if those who ask
the right to choose
1044
01:02:54,124 --> 01:02:55,544
they stop to think
1045
01:02:56,295 --> 01:03:00,763
that the fetus, the unborn child,
he never had that right.
1046
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:09,029
It bothers me that the abortion problem
has become a political football.
1047
01:03:09,112 --> 01:03:09,989
OXFORD UNION ABORTION DEBATE
1048
01:03:10,072 --> 01:03:15,249
I will be very upset if the abortion
is outlawed again, because ...
1049
01:03:15,542 --> 01:03:20,928
Before legalization, only women
with money they could get an abortion.
1050
01:03:21,303 --> 01:03:26,188
Going back to those years would be terrible,
1051
01:03:26,564 --> 01:03:31,240
because there would be miscarriages
and hangers would be used again.
1052
01:03:31,908 --> 01:03:36,333
I think abortion
it should continue to be available.
1053
01:03:36,416 --> 01:03:38,254
[applause]
1054
01:03:39,381 --> 01:03:43,138
[John] She is very diligent to avoid politicization.
1055
01:03:43,222 --> 01:03:44,182
JOHN LOLLOS VOICE
TELEVISION PRODUCER OF DRA. RUTH
1056
01:03:44,266 --> 01:03:47,898
He just said: "I'm not a politician, I'm a sex therapist.
1057
01:03:48,567 --> 01:03:50,194
I'll stay there ".
1058
01:03:50,904 --> 01:03:52,533
Tell me what happens.
1059
01:03:53,910 --> 01:03:56,206
Well, since the abortion, I feel ...
1060
01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:58,628
i feel so depressed.
1061
01:04:00,966 --> 01:04:03,345
Now I think I was wrong.
1062
01:04:03,889 --> 01:04:06,018
[Dra. Ruth] Do you usually use contraceptives?
1063
01:04:06,101 --> 01:04:07,855
- [Laura] Oh yeah.
- [Dra. Ruth] Well this
1064
01:04:08,272 --> 01:04:10,151
It was a contraceptive failure.
1065
01:04:10,234 --> 01:04:13,867
Do not blame yourself
for not being responsible, Laura.
1066
01:04:14,952 --> 01:04:18,585
[Joel] she is political in the sense i>
that she has a social and political impact i>
1067
01:04:18,668 --> 01:04:19,545
VOICE OF JOEL WESTHEIMER
SON OF DOCTOR RUTH
1068
01:04:19,629 --> 01:04:21,966
... tremendous in the world.
1069
01:04:22,383 --> 01:04:25,682
And he is able to reach people on a very human level
1070
01:04:26,141 --> 01:04:29,815
that transcends convictions political or religious
1071
01:04:29,899 --> 01:04:33,782
because he speaks to them as human beings.
1072
01:04:47,308 --> 01:04:50,524
[Dra. Ruth] When Dan and I we arrived in New York
1073
01:04:50,607 --> 01:04:51,567
WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NEW YORK
1074
01:04:51,651 --> 01:04:53,947
... we lived in an apartment here
1075
01:04:54,030 --> 01:04:58,497
on the third floor and ...
1076
01:04:58,581 --> 01:05:00,084
in a single room.
1077
01:05:01,587 --> 01:05:03,215
Shortly after we settled down,
1078
01:05:03,675 --> 01:05:07,975
I realized that Dan and I we couldn't be together.
1079
01:05:09,227 --> 01:05:10,564
I was very bored
1080
01:05:11,106 --> 01:05:13,695
because he was not an intellectual.
1081
01:05:14,446 --> 01:05:18,788
We had an old car.
I gave him the car and I kept the girl.
1082
01:05:19,707 --> 01:05:22,588
she Suddenly she was a single mother i>
1083
01:05:22,671 --> 01:05:26,428
in a country with a language he did not know.
1084
01:05:27,639 --> 01:05:30,604
It was difficult raising Miriam alone.
1085
01:05:31,564 --> 01:05:35,071
She made $ 1 an hour working as a maid.
1086
01:05:35,697 --> 01:05:38,787
But she needed to learn English fast.
1087
01:05:39,162 --> 01:05:41,500
So she read romance novels, i>
1088
01:05:41,918 --> 01:05:45,634
because I always wanted to read them to the end to find out what happened.
1089
01:05:45,717 --> 01:05:46,886
[laughs]
1090
01:05:47,428 --> 01:05:52,188
I don't remember any other single mother in the fifties.
1091
01:05:52,606 --> 01:05:56,113
She was very poor, she really had no money, i>
1092
01:05:56,196 --> 01:05:59,787
but that didn't stop me from having fun.
1093
01:05:59,870 --> 01:06:03,586
She had parties every weekend.
1094
01:06:04,003 --> 01:06:06,299
Everyone bought food.
1095
01:06:06,551 --> 01:06:10,307
I only bought potato chips.
1096
01:06:12,980 --> 01:06:15,777
[Miriam] I remember myself as the only girl ...
1097
01:06:15,861 --> 01:06:16,863
VOICE OF MIRIAM WESTHEIMER
DAUGHTER OF DR. RUTH
1098
01:06:16,946 --> 01:06:18,198
... in a room full of adults
1099
01:06:18,282 --> 01:06:20,620
that they danced, they spoke and they had a good time.
1100
01:06:20,704 --> 01:06:22,749
Because he took me everywhere where she was going.
1101
01:06:24,587 --> 01:06:27,634
[Dra. Ruth] And when she got tired i>
she put her on the bed i>
1102
01:06:28,343 --> 01:06:31,642
and surrounded her with sacks so that she wouldn't fall i>
1103
01:06:31,767 --> 01:06:33,938
and she slept in the middle of the noise. i>
1104
01:06:35,149 --> 01:06:39,992
Maybe I was a pioneer
of single mothers.
1105
01:06:45,754 --> 01:06:47,423
Boy, this is serious.
1106
01:06:49,302 --> 01:06:50,847
[Michal] I think I was wrong.
1107
01:06:53,811 --> 01:06:54,813
GRANDCHILDREN OF DR. RUTH
1108
01:06:54,897 --> 01:06:58,613
[Dra. Ruth] I never let them win
to their parents, never.
1109
01:07:00,199 --> 01:07:03,205
- [Leora] Why not?
- Because they must learn to lose.
1110
01:07:04,541 --> 01:07:09,718
Prince and queen. Good move!
1111
01:07:10,845 --> 01:07:12,056
- Moment, moment, moment
- [man speaks]
1112
01:07:12,265 --> 01:07:14,728
- [Leora] Bye. [laughs]
- Oh God.
1113
01:07:18,736 --> 01:07:22,451
- It's terrible, they took me by assault.
- Well, can we shake hands?
1114
01:07:22,661 --> 01:07:27,169
[Dra. Ruth] The hands. What grandchildren
I have so ready. Bravo.
1115
01:07:32,471 --> 01:07:33,766
Look at this,
1116
01:07:34,685 --> 01:07:39,193
these are my grandchildren,
all four of them ski.
1117
01:07:39,945 --> 01:07:44,621
I loved skiing and she was a very good skier.
1118
01:07:45,247 --> 01:07:48,211
Actually, that's how I met Fred.
1119
01:07:49,422 --> 01:07:51,886
One of my friends had a car,
1120
01:07:52,094 --> 01:07:55,518
so we collected money as a group
1121
01:07:55,935 --> 01:07:58,440
and we left my girl with friends,
1122
01:07:58,733 --> 01:08:01,488
and we would go skiing for the weekend.
1123
01:08:05,037 --> 01:08:06,081
MEINSTEIN ACCOMMODATION - SKIERS
1124
01:08:06,414 --> 01:08:09,212
He had a friend named Hans
1125
01:08:10,464 --> 01:08:13,470
and Hans and I climbed up the trailer
1126
01:08:13,638 --> 01:08:16,017
that takes you up the mountain.
1127
01:08:17,269 --> 01:08:21,904
But he was so tall that when he was behind it was on his ankle, i>
1128
01:08:22,321 --> 01:08:26,831
and when I was behind,
it was on my neck, it was impossible.
1129
01:08:29,335 --> 01:08:31,423
In the mountain someone introduced me
1130
01:08:32,049 --> 01:08:36,307
to Manfred Westheimer, head of the Jewish ski club,
1131
01:08:36,391 --> 01:08:38,353
I was in the same accommodation.
1132
01:08:39,313 --> 01:08:42,486
I looked at that little man
1133
01:08:42,946 --> 01:08:47,288
and I said to Hans: "I'll go up the mountain with that little guy. "
1134
01:08:47,371 --> 01:08:49,793
Not as low as me
but nobody is as short as me.
1135
01:08:50,210 --> 01:08:53,926
On the way up I knew he was 35
1136
01:08:54,051 --> 01:08:57,224
he had never married, he was an engineer, i>
1137
01:08:57,601 --> 01:09:03,028
and I liked it right away, and right there I decided that I would marry him.
1138
01:09:04,823 --> 01:09:10,000
I had to share a room with another woman in the group.
1139
01:09:10,083 --> 01:09:13,131
When i walked into the room
at two O'clock in the morning,
1140
01:09:13,215 --> 01:09:16,262
because Fred and I had spent the night talking,
1141
01:09:16,304 --> 01:09:20,020
he told me: "Keep your hands off that guy, i>
1142
01:09:20,062 --> 01:09:21,189
is mine ".
1143
01:09:22,734 --> 01:09:25,823
I smiled and said, "We'll see."
1144
01:09:26,324 --> 01:09:28,203
Guess what, I married him.
1145
01:09:31,710 --> 01:09:32,796
[phone click]
1146
01:09:32,879 --> 01:09:34,382
Hello, you are on the air.
1147
01:09:35,050 --> 01:09:37,429
[George] Hello Dr. Ruth, my name is George.
- Hello George.
1148
01:09:38,056 --> 01:09:41,187
[George] I'm dating a lady who has two children.
1149
01:09:41,354 --> 01:09:42,774
Yes, is she divorced?
1150
01:09:42,899 --> 01:09:44,193
- [George] Yes.
- Well.
1151
01:09:44,277 --> 01:09:46,281
[George] And I love her very much.
1152
01:09:46,364 --> 01:09:47,324
Yes.
1153
01:09:47,408 --> 01:09:50,582
[George] And she has had two bad relationships.
1154
01:09:50,665 --> 01:09:51,584
AHA.
1155
01:09:51,959 --> 01:09:56,217
[George] And I wonder, in what class we could get into trouble
1156
01:09:56,301 --> 01:09:58,598
if we go ahead with this?
1157
01:09:58,681 --> 01:10:02,939
Yes, George, that she had
two bad relationships
1158
01:10:03,023 --> 01:10:07,072
does not mean that the third
it can't be fantastic.
1159
01:10:08,408 --> 01:10:13,043
So predict
horrible things will happen
1160
01:10:13,418 --> 01:10:15,798
it's not going to be of much help.
1161
01:10:16,508 --> 01:10:18,428
And I heard you say George
1162
01:10:18,971 --> 01:10:21,184
i heard you say
that you love her very much.
1163
01:10:21,309 --> 01:10:22,227
[George]
Yes, I do.
1164
01:10:22,311 --> 01:10:25,818
Then I wouldn't worry about the past.
1165
01:10:26,444 --> 01:10:31,580
Take a sponge and clean.
1166
01:10:31,664 --> 01:10:33,542
[Diane]
This is your third marriage, right?
1167
01:10:33,626 --> 01:10:36,507
- Yes, but now I'm married to him.
- [Diane] It didn't go well the first time.
1168
01:10:36,590 --> 01:10:39,596
[Dra. Ruth] It's true,
but I've been married for 23 years.
1169
01:10:39,680 --> 01:10:41,432
- Almost 24.
- It's a long time.
1170
01:10:41,517 --> 01:10:44,146
- [Diane] Do you think it will last?
- I think so.
1171
01:10:50,994 --> 01:10:54,751
[Dra. Ruth] My first two marriages They were legalized romances.
1172
01:10:55,712 --> 01:10:58,968
But with Freddie it was true love.
1173
01:11:00,847 --> 01:11:04,563
He adopted and adored my daughter Miriam. i>
1174
01:11:07,443 --> 01:11:10,575
And together we had our son Joel.
1175
01:11:14,624 --> 01:11:20,135
We needed a bigger house and that's why we moved to the site
1176
01:11:20,595 --> 01:11:23,266
where I have lived all these years.
1177
01:11:30,030 --> 01:11:34,998
Even after converting at Dr. Ruth, I'm glad to be here.
1178
01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:37,503
Because this is my home.
1179
01:11:41,135 --> 01:11:42,764
[the doorbell rings]
1180
01:11:44,643 --> 01:11:46,522
Excuse me a moment.
1181
01:11:48,651 --> 01:11:50,237
[surprised laugh]
1182
01:11:50,362 --> 01:11:53,076
- Did someone order a pizza?
- Well, we have pizza.
1183
01:11:54,203 --> 01:11:56,917
- My Joel!
- I'm sure you wanted pizza.
1184
01:11:57,000 --> 01:12:00,006
My Joel, my Joel is here.
1185
01:12:00,716 --> 01:12:02,302
They can go home.
1186
01:12:02,386 --> 01:12:03,722
[Joel laughs]
1187
01:12:04,056 --> 01:12:07,146
[Dra. Ruth] I want to show you something.
I found an album.
1188
01:12:08,148 --> 01:12:12,574
Well I don't know who that is
maybe a lover ...
1189
01:12:13,491 --> 01:12:15,913
- I don't remember.
- [Joel laughs]
1190
01:12:16,707 --> 01:12:18,459
That's my Joel!
1191
01:12:18,919 --> 01:12:21,592
You were the cutest baby in the world.
1192
01:12:21,675 --> 01:12:24,556
And when will you get rid of that thing?
1193
01:12:25,056 --> 01:12:27,186
- Ring?
- A hundred years ago,
1194
01:12:27,269 --> 01:12:31,737
Joel appears in Oscawana
and I see a hoop.
1195
01:12:31,987 --> 01:12:34,074
I didn't speak to him for two and a half hours.
1196
01:12:34,158 --> 01:12:35,661
I think it was two days.
1197
01:12:37,916 --> 01:12:40,045
So now everyone will go
and I will be very sad.
1198
01:12:40,128 --> 01:12:42,299
It was very sad when
you four went.
1199
01:12:42,592 --> 01:12:45,222
[Joel] I know. It was so cute
we were all here.
1200
01:12:45,305 --> 01:12:47,644
- But the apartment was so empty.
- [Joel] Yes.
1201
01:12:47,727 --> 01:12:51,610
I'm not a grandmother in a rocking chair
1202
01:12:51,693 --> 01:12:53,906
waiting for her grandchildren to arrive,
1203
01:12:54,574 --> 01:13:00,252
but i don't like having them here
and be alone suddenly.
1204
01:13:00,711 --> 01:13:02,757
No, she doesn't like being alone.
1205
01:13:02,882 --> 01:13:04,928
- [Dra. Ruth] No, I won't sit here alone.
- You have learned that, right?
1206
01:13:05,888 --> 01:13:08,226
What I remember from when I was a child is that she was
1207
01:13:08,309 --> 01:13:09,980
a tornado of activity.
1208
01:13:10,480 --> 01:13:14,446
You got up on Saturday morning and there was already a plan.
1209
01:13:14,864 --> 01:13:16,284
- Certain.
- I mean, we were going skiing
1210
01:13:16,367 --> 01:13:18,706
or over there, or to do that other.
1211
01:13:18,789 --> 01:13:20,793
There was always a kind of energy.
1212
01:13:20,876 --> 01:13:26,596
But, at the same time, always
she was taking care of her career.
1213
01:13:27,097 --> 01:13:30,228
Or if. A mother at home
she is probably
1214
01:13:30,312 --> 01:13:33,861
as opposed to our mother as possible.
1215
01:13:36,533 --> 01:13:39,789
[Dra. Ruth] I really believe that she would not have been a good mother i>
1216
01:13:40,206 --> 01:13:43,087
if she hadn't had i>
1217
01:13:43,171 --> 01:13:46,052
academic interests and a job.
1218
01:13:46,595 --> 01:13:50,101
I had a position in Family Planning from New York,
1219
01:13:50,686 --> 01:13:53,901
that in those years she was not i>
as well known as now.
1220
01:13:54,903 --> 01:14:00,080
She worked in East Harlem, which at that time i>
it was the worst.
1221
01:14:00,581 --> 01:14:04,421
[Joel] He traveled all day asking to be brought closer,
1222
01:14:04,506 --> 01:14:05,674
taking public transport.
1223
01:14:06,510 --> 01:14:09,682
I remember that he left many nights and my dad,
1224
01:14:09,766 --> 01:14:15,402
that for me always He was a stable engineer,
1225
01:14:15,861 --> 01:14:18,157
made dinner and stuff.
1226
01:14:18,534 --> 01:14:20,286
[Dra. Ruth]
I trained paraprofessionals,
1227
01:14:20,704 --> 01:14:22,875
people without secondary degree,
1228
01:14:23,042 --> 01:14:26,925
as family planning counselors. And I loved him.
1229
01:14:27,885 --> 01:14:33,062
That increased my interest on the subject of family planning.
1230
01:14:34,816 --> 01:14:38,364
[Miriam] At home, he didn't talk to us much about sexuality.
1231
01:14:38,824 --> 01:14:42,289
He always wore some kind of equipment Birth Control Planning.
1232
01:14:42,540 --> 01:14:47,007
So in my little girls' school, when we had sex ed,
1233
01:14:47,090 --> 01:14:50,305
I was the only one who could take the team and say:
1234
01:14:50,388 --> 01:14:53,102
"This is an IUD, this is a condom."
1235
01:14:53,186 --> 01:14:56,568
I think I learned it from being there.
1236
01:14:57,402 --> 01:15:00,743
[Joel] I don't remember having it a big talk with me.
1237
01:15:01,285 --> 01:15:05,418
I left on purpose a lot of books with information,
1238
01:15:05,502 --> 01:15:07,130
and I would pick them up.
1239
01:15:09,092 --> 01:15:11,055
[Dra. Ruth] Since I was young,
1240
01:15:11,138 --> 01:15:14,436
the most important thing for me it was education.
1241
01:15:15,480 --> 01:15:17,025
That is why, in 1967,
1242
01:15:17,108 --> 01:15:21,952
I started my doctorate at Teachers College in Columbia.
1243
01:15:23,162 --> 01:15:27,588
For that job in Family Planning I used the data
1244
01:15:27,672 --> 01:15:29,842
out of 2000 women
1245
01:15:30,553 --> 01:15:35,270
and your contraceptive records and abortions when it was illegal
1246
01:15:35,353 --> 01:15:37,692
for my doctoral dissertation.
1247
01:15:38,694 --> 01:15:42,994
And I was 42 when I got my PhD.
1248
01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:48,964
While I was in Harlem, in Family Planning,
1249
01:15:49,214 --> 01:15:51,260
people were asking me questions.
1250
01:15:51,636 --> 01:15:53,890
Questions about premature ejaculation.
1251
01:15:54,474 --> 01:15:56,312
Inability to orgasm.
1252
01:15:57,230 --> 01:16:00,278
In all that area of sexuality
1253
01:16:00,361 --> 01:16:02,742
I couldn't answer.
1254
01:16:03,869 --> 01:16:06,583
I discovered that I didn't know enough.
1255
01:16:07,125 --> 01:16:09,254
I needed more training.
1256
01:16:11,050 --> 01:16:15,768
At Cornell University there was a famous sex therapist,
1257
01:16:15,851 --> 01:16:17,772
Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan.
1258
01:16:18,481 --> 01:16:21,988
she was the first to develop a methodology
1259
01:16:22,322 --> 01:16:25,203
to treat sexual dysfunction.
1260
01:16:25,286 --> 01:16:29,587
Sex therapy is indeed
a complex branch of psychiatry.
1261
01:16:30,088 --> 01:16:32,802
But the basic principle in a woman
that she can't have orgasms
1262
01:16:32,885 --> 01:16:36,392
is to teach him to have
an orgasm by itself.
1263
01:16:36,475 --> 01:16:40,024
[Dra. Ruth] I was accepted into the program by Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan
1264
01:16:40,108 --> 01:16:42,487
to learn sex therapy.
1265
01:16:43,114 --> 01:16:45,994
And I thought, "I'm in heaven."
1266
01:16:49,334 --> 01:16:50,713
According to Jewish tradition,
1267
01:16:51,130 --> 01:16:54,637
the word "know" in Hebrew is ladat,
1268
01:16:54,971 --> 01:16:56,306
meet someone.
1269
01:16:57,350 --> 01:17:00,941
It also means "sex," which is fantastic,
1270
01:17:01,943 --> 01:17:05,617
because the word "sex" means getting to know each other.
1271
01:17:05,826 --> 01:17:10,418
It means taking time to listen and to talk to the other.
1272
01:17:11,755 --> 01:17:15,470
By not having parents since the age of ten,
1273
01:17:15,888 --> 01:17:19,854
I was very aware of the importance
1274
01:17:19,937 --> 01:17:23,360
to be touched and loved.
1275
01:17:24,822 --> 01:17:29,498
It was for that reason that I became so interested
1276
01:17:29,582 --> 01:17:33,422
on family issues and relationships
1277
01:17:33,590 --> 01:17:36,386
and, over time, sexuality.
1278
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:42,733
Working with Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan I learned the job.
1279
01:17:43,902 --> 01:17:47,535
We sat in a room with a mirror by which you could see
1280
01:17:47,952 --> 01:17:49,580
and we did sex therapy.
1281
01:17:52,126 --> 01:17:55,216
I worked with her at Cornell for seven years.
1282
01:17:57,680 --> 01:18:02,230
It was an absolute dream, work on professional help.
1283
01:18:03,232 --> 01:18:08,869
I had finished my studies and I had my private practice,
1284
01:18:09,077 --> 01:18:12,333
doing psychosexual therapy and relationship therapy.
1285
01:18:13,002 --> 01:18:15,298
Until 1981 ...
1286
01:18:15,381 --> 01:18:16,718
Very well!
1287
01:18:16,801 --> 01:18:18,470
Hello! How are you?
1288
01:18:18,555 --> 01:18:21,519
[Dra. Ruth] ... that was the year everything changed for me.
1289
01:18:21,603 --> 01:18:24,399
- You look wonderful, you haven't changed.
- [Dra. Ruth] You look good.
This is Betty Elam.
1290
01:18:24,482 --> 01:18:26,905
Without her, I wouldn't be Dr. Ruth.
1291
01:18:28,240 --> 01:18:31,956
she was still in the body i>
from Cornell Medical Center
1292
01:18:32,040 --> 01:18:33,752
with Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan,
1293
01:18:34,169 --> 01:18:38,929
when a letter came to the program, to see if someone could speak
1294
01:18:39,012 --> 01:18:42,477
on the need for sex education.
1295
01:18:43,145 --> 01:18:47,362
Nobody wanted to go
because they didn't pay money.
1296
01:18:47,613 --> 01:18:48,740
- They didn't pay.
- Correct.
1297
01:18:48,823 --> 01:18:49,742
WYNY COMMUNITY AFFAIRS
1298
01:18:49,825 --> 01:18:51,621
- [Dra. Ruth] I saw the letter
And I said, "I'll go."
- Yes.
1299
01:18:51,704 --> 01:18:53,708
- [Dra. Ruth] "I'll blow up a balloon."
- Correct.
1300
01:18:54,919 --> 01:18:55,921
CENTRAL WYNY OFFICES
ROCKEFELLER PLAZA 30
1301
01:18:56,004 --> 01:18:57,508
[radio introduction]
Ninety-seven
1302
01:18:58,092 --> 01:19:00,973
W, Y, N, Y.
1303
01:19:01,056 --> 01:19:03,185
[man] Let's look the weather of the weekend.
1304
01:19:03,310 --> 01:19:06,108
[Maurice] I remember Betty she came running to the station, i>
1305
01:19:06,233 --> 01:19:08,278
and said to the general manager:
1306
01:19:08,362 --> 01:19:09,615
"You won't believe this woman I met today ...
1307
01:19:09,699 --> 01:19:10,659
VOICE OF MAURICE TUNICK
WYNY STATION MANAGER
1308
01:19:10,742 --> 01:19:12,495
... is this size,
1309
01:19:12,579 --> 01:19:14,499
has a very strong German accent
1310
01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:18,257
and talk about sex like no one before.
1311
01:19:18,758 --> 01:19:20,929
I think we should do something with it. "
1312
01:19:21,764 --> 01:19:25,647
Frankly, it wasn't our priority, we were a music station.
1313
01:19:25,814 --> 01:19:30,448
But at that time the radios who received the license
1314
01:19:30,532 --> 01:19:35,416
should provide community services a certain number of hours.
1315
01:19:35,876 --> 01:19:38,840
And most radios assigned programs
1316
01:19:38,965 --> 01:19:40,969
when few people listened.
1317
01:19:41,721 --> 01:19:45,061
[Betty] It had never been done a program like that.
1318
01:19:45,144 --> 01:19:48,067
and I had many tug of war,
but well.
1319
01:19:48,442 --> 01:19:53,160
If you are a woman in this business, you're used to it.
1320
01:19:53,536 --> 01:19:58,420
And Ruth can be very charming, besides that she has a good education.
1321
01:19:58,880 --> 01:20:04,683
So we were able to give it a try a Speaking of Sex.
1322
01:20:04,975 --> 01:20:07,063
[woman speaking]
1323
01:20:07,146 --> 01:20:08,148
FORMAT
"TALKING ABOUT SEX"
1324
01:20:08,858 --> 01:20:10,904
[Maurice] The show was done in 30 rock.
1325
01:20:11,572 --> 01:20:13,868
She had never done radio before.
1326
01:20:13,952 --> 01:20:16,039
And the lawyers were very nervous about that,
1327
01:20:16,123 --> 01:20:18,837
very nervous about advice.
1328
01:20:19,504 --> 01:20:22,051
And the program would be recorded, to be able to edit
1329
01:20:22,135 --> 01:20:24,932
anything uncomfortable.
1330
01:20:25,725 --> 01:20:28,773
Good night,
I am Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
1331
01:20:28,857 --> 01:20:31,737
Our program is called
Let's talk about Sex.
1332
01:20:31,821 --> 01:20:32,739
IN THE AIR
1333
01:20:32,823 --> 01:20:34,492
Hello, are you still there? You're next.
1334
01:20:34,577 --> 01:20:35,579
VOICE OF SUSAN BROWN
WYNY PRODUCER
1335
01:20:35,662 --> 01:20:38,793
We went to the study and we had 12 phone lines,
1336
01:20:39,545 --> 01:20:42,008
and answered. "Hello, Let's talk about sex,
1337
01:20:42,091 --> 01:20:43,302
do you have any questions? "
1338
01:20:43,845 --> 01:20:46,474
She wanted the element of surprise.
1339
01:20:46,976 --> 01:20:49,982
The first time she heard the question i>
It was her when she pressed the button.
1340
01:20:50,065 --> 01:20:52,654
- Let's talk about Sex. You're on the air.
- [John] Hello, Dr. Ruth.
1341
01:20:52,738 --> 01:20:54,909
- Yes.
- [John] My name is John I'm from Georgia,
1342
01:20:54,992 --> 01:20:57,706
- and I have some kind of problem.
- Let me hear it.
1343
01:20:58,207 --> 01:21:00,294
[Maurice] We recorded the show on Thursdays,
1344
01:21:00,377 --> 01:21:03,091
we went on the air on Sunday nights,
1345
01:21:03,175 --> 01:21:05,722
because there was nothing there.
1346
01:21:05,805 --> 01:21:06,974
12:00 - "LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX"
WITH DR. RUTH WESTHEIMER
1347
01:21:07,058 --> 01:21:09,563
You know, who's awake Sunday at midnight?
1348
01:21:11,233 --> 01:21:15,199
It was a dead hour, perfect for a show
1349
01:21:15,282 --> 01:21:16,994
which makes you a little nervous.
1350
01:21:17,704 --> 01:21:23,215
I know a guy
that only has erections
1351
01:21:23,675 --> 01:21:28,475
when your partner wears high heels.
1352
01:21:30,229 --> 01:21:35,907
[Maurice] In those days, on NBC you could sit in a study and consult
1353
01:21:35,991 --> 01:21:40,124
any other study to hear what they were doing.
1354
01:21:41,001 --> 01:21:42,796
We didn't do promotions,
1355
01:21:43,005 --> 01:21:45,134
but, apparently, by word of mouth,
1356
01:21:45,760 --> 01:21:50,937
and suddenly we knew that on Thursdays ...
1357
01:21:51,438 --> 01:21:53,651
[Dra. Ruth] Hello, you are in the air.
1358
01:21:54,027 --> 01:21:55,780
[Maurice] ... everything stopped at NBC
1359
01:21:55,864 --> 01:22:00,414
because people listened Ruth's recording for WYNY.
1360
01:22:00,582 --> 01:22:02,335
- [Jeff] Hello, Dr. Ruth.
- [Dra. Ruth] Yes?
1361
01:22:02,418 --> 01:22:05,842
[Jeff] I heard a woman she only has so many orgasms i>
1362
01:22:05,925 --> 01:22:09,182
- in her life. I>
- [Dra. Ruth] God forbid. [laughs]
1363
01:22:09,265 --> 01:22:13,775
It's a rumor that I hadn't heard, listen carefully, Jeff.
1364
01:22:13,858 --> 01:22:18,199
[Maurice] she was different from all trials i>
morales back then in the United States.
1365
01:22:18,283 --> 01:22:21,540
There was no one you could talk to of that kind of thing.
1366
01:22:21,624 --> 01:22:25,130
And, suddenly, there was this woman on the radio, responding directly.
1367
01:22:25,214 --> 01:22:26,801
- You have to...
- [Woman] If she knew she was pregnant i>
1368
01:22:26,884 --> 01:22:30,391
- I don't know what would have happened.
- Good, but you need to talk to someone.
1369
01:22:30,892 --> 01:22:34,817
When people started calling
couldn't tell Westheimer.
1370
01:22:35,192 --> 01:22:37,697
He is a long name and he is not American.
1371
01:22:38,073 --> 01:22:39,785
They called and said "Dr. Ruth."
1372
01:22:39,868 --> 01:22:40,787
WYNY STATION MANAGER
1373
01:22:40,870 --> 01:22:42,541
She said, "Okay, Dr. Ruth."
1374
01:22:42,624 --> 01:22:46,381
Now famous people
from television and radio
1375
01:22:46,464 --> 01:22:47,425
[man] They are all a name.
1376
01:22:47,509 --> 01:22:49,387
[Dra. Ruth] Everyone uses first name.
1377
01:22:51,433 --> 01:22:54,565
But I tell you that I was the first.
1378
01:22:54,773 --> 01:22:56,652
We will return to the calls
in just a moment.
1379
01:22:57,612 --> 01:22:59,783
[Betty Elam] Everyone was excited at the station.
1380
01:23:00,535 --> 01:23:04,375
I asked them if I could do it live.
1381
01:23:05,085 --> 01:23:06,337
And they said yes.
1382
01:23:06,463 --> 01:23:08,049
IN THE AIR.
1383
01:23:09,093 --> 01:23:12,642
[Maurice] We spent fifteen minutes one hour, then two hours.
1384
01:23:15,189 --> 01:23:18,863
[Dra. Ruth] Sunday nights the people coming back from the Hamptons
1385
01:23:19,280 --> 01:23:21,367
she got in the car at 10. i>
1386
01:23:21,702 --> 01:23:24,625
[man] he was lying on the bed i>
reading a Playgirl
1387
01:23:24,708 --> 01:23:27,672
and I only had underwear on hand from my partner's girlfriend,
1388
01:23:28,423 --> 01:23:32,389
I was jerking off, and my housemate came in.
1389
01:23:35,980 --> 01:23:40,489
[woman] I have a vibrator, and I've reached the point
1390
01:23:40,573 --> 01:23:42,869
where do I prefer to use it than dating men.
1391
01:23:43,788 --> 01:23:44,790
[Dra. Ruth] Yes.
1392
01:23:44,873 --> 01:23:47,671
[man] My penis is extremely large,
1393
01:23:48,463 --> 01:23:50,384
- like 35 centimeters ...
- [Dra. Ruth] Aha.
1394
01:23:50,467 --> 01:23:52,304
[man] ... and most of the girls I go out with
1395
01:23:52,388 --> 01:23:55,477
they seem intimidated with the size of my penis.
1396
01:23:58,985 --> 01:24:01,447
[Dra. Ruth] At 12 o'clock they were already back in New York.
1397
01:24:02,867 --> 01:24:06,499
Said that meant that you were already
sexually aroused
1398
01:24:06,584 --> 01:24:07,836
By the time you got home
1399
01:24:14,181 --> 01:24:15,225
CONDUCTOR "GRANDMA FREUD"
FAVORITE AMONG NEW YORKERS
1400
01:24:15,309 --> 01:24:18,398
[Maurice] Frankly, we didn't expect it to explode like this.
1401
01:24:18,941 --> 01:24:21,154
It started out as "a good idea".
1402
01:24:21,614 --> 01:24:25,078
But I think nobody thought that would make a difference
1403
01:24:25,162 --> 01:24:27,458
between success and failure from the radio station.
1404
01:24:28,084 --> 01:24:31,550
Turns out we were known for her.
1405
01:24:31,634 --> 01:24:33,929
We were Dr. Ruth's radio.
1406
01:24:34,138 --> 01:24:36,560
In a year, there were more people
1407
01:24:36,852 --> 01:24:39,315
listening to Ruth on Sunday night
1408
01:24:39,398 --> 01:24:44,534
than on the morning radios. Something unusual.
1409
01:24:44,618 --> 01:24:46,412
NBC HIRES DR. RUTH WESTHEIMER
1410
01:24:46,789 --> 01:24:48,375
Ruthless people
IT IS THE WORST LOVER.
1411
01:24:48,458 --> 01:24:49,586
THE NEW PROGRAM OF DR. RUTH
1412
01:24:49,961 --> 01:24:53,511
[Joel] She wasn't really well known until I went to college.
1413
01:24:53,594 --> 01:24:58,019
In my freshman year, I remember it was Sunday and I went back to the bedroom ...
1414
01:24:58,269 --> 01:25:03,363
[Dra. Ruth] There are many women they would read Playboy for fun!
1415
01:25:03,531 --> 01:25:07,747
[Joel] And I heard my mother's voice in eight different radios,
1416
01:25:07,831 --> 01:25:12,172
scattered around the room, and I was surprised
a lot, "Mom"?
1417
01:25:13,509 --> 01:25:16,765
IT'S 10 AM - DO YOU KNOW
WHAT ARE YOUR CHILDREN LISTENING TO?
1418
01:25:17,391 --> 01:25:19,478
[Pierre] Suddenly received tons of media attention ...
1419
01:25:19,563 --> 01:25:20,523
A VOICE OF "SEXUAL LITERACY"
1420
01:25:20,606 --> 01:25:23,069
... and a story from the New York Times
a book contract emerged.
1421
01:25:23,153 --> 01:25:24,029
THE GOOD SEX OF DR. RUTH
1422
01:25:24,113 --> 01:25:26,535
And he started traveling and teaching.
1423
01:25:26,618 --> 01:25:29,833
Then came the evening shows. Letterman loved her,
1424
01:25:29,916 --> 01:25:31,920
Arsenio loved her, Carson loved her.
1425
01:25:32,004 --> 01:25:35,970
There are myths that everyone heard
and they give laughter, about going blind ...
1426
01:25:36,220 --> 01:25:38,475
Or grow hair on your palms.
1427
01:25:38,559 --> 01:25:40,563
- Yes, those things.
- You lose your hair.
1428
01:25:40,688 --> 01:25:42,567
- All that.
- [audience laughs]
1429
01:25:46,199 --> 01:25:47,744
PEOPLE
GOOD SEX WITH DR. RUTH!
1430
01:25:47,827 --> 01:25:49,205
[Pierre] Everyone loved her.
1431
01:25:49,288 --> 01:25:50,165
Next.
1432
01:25:50,248 --> 01:25:54,215
[Pierre] I used to go out in all class of programs , Quantum Leap,
1433
01:25:54,298 --> 01:25:57,931
The lives of the Rich and Famous,
Hollywood Squares.
1434
01:25:58,014 --> 01:25:59,893
Then he started doing commercials,
1435
01:25:59,976 --> 01:26:02,314
made one with Pepsi, with Bo Jackson,
1436
01:26:02,397 --> 01:26:06,532
And one of Herbal Essence that attracted attention.
1437
01:26:06,615 --> 01:26:09,955
If you think that's good,
try the shower gel!
1438
01:26:11,332 --> 01:26:13,211
[Pierre] she started an acting career i>.
1439
01:26:13,921 --> 01:26:15,633
That is a kiss?
1440
01:26:16,342 --> 01:26:18,137
[laughs]
1441
01:26:18,973 --> 01:26:21,979
[Pierre] she had a comedy i>,
Dr. Ruth's house.
1442
01:26:22,062 --> 01:26:25,653
She was in a movie i>
with Gerard Depardieu and Sigourney Weaver.
1443
01:26:25,778 --> 01:26:26,989
[both in French]
1444
01:26:27,155 --> 01:26:28,868
She even had her own board game.
1445
01:26:28,951 --> 01:26:30,453
DR. RUTH
GOOD SEX GAME
1446
01:26:33,919 --> 01:26:37,175
[Maurice] He went from being a person more of New York
1447
01:26:37,259 --> 01:26:39,221
that goes everywhere by metro
1448
01:26:39,305 --> 01:26:42,520
someone they were taking
1449
01:26:42,604 --> 01:26:44,481
and they paid him to show up.
1450
01:26:44,858 --> 01:26:46,904
[Pierre] And then of course had its own programs.
1451
01:26:46,987 --> 01:26:48,031
GOOD SEX
1452
01:26:48,114 --> 01:26:49,116
THE SHOW OF DR. RUTH
1453
01:26:55,086 --> 01:26:58,802
After that, he couldn't walk anymore i>
three meters without being stopped
1454
01:26:58,886 --> 01:27:00,138
to ask you questions.
1455
01:27:00,221 --> 01:27:02,727
I enjoy it, I always watch
her program and all that.
1456
01:27:03,061 --> 01:27:04,271
[Pierre] she exploded.
1457
01:27:04,396 --> 01:27:07,402
[Susan] And he said we're not going to let the business change us.
1458
01:27:07,486 --> 01:27:09,406
Because one day she could leave
and her line was:
1459
01:27:09,490 --> 01:27:11,118
"Poof, poof, this could all go away."
1460
01:27:11,912 --> 01:27:14,333
And today she is the same person. i>
1461
01:27:19,761 --> 01:27:24,019
Dr. Ruth, do you follow her advice
with her husband at home?
1462
01:27:24,353 --> 01:27:28,529
I never let it come
to the programs,
1463
01:27:28,904 --> 01:27:33,831
because she would say to you and Phil:
"Don't listen to her, she's pure talk!"
1464
01:27:34,123 --> 01:27:36,127
- That is first.
- [laughs]
1465
01:27:39,676 --> 01:27:42,180
[Diane] Is it true that what she says
is it pure chatter?
1466
01:27:44,059 --> 01:27:46,105
- It's a good line.
- [Diane laughs]
1467
01:27:46,188 --> 01:27:50,990
[Diane] Aren't you ashamed
there are jokes about Dr. Ruth?
1468
01:27:51,115 --> 01:27:55,457
And imitations of Dr. Ruth
on the Johnny Carson show?
1469
01:27:55,541 --> 01:27:59,924
Well imitation is the way
most sincere of compliment, they say.
1470
01:28:00,341 --> 01:28:06,187
No, I'm not ashamed. Her
she is very enterprising
1471
01:28:06,270 --> 01:28:11,113
and she is not frightened by any controversy,
1472
01:28:11,197 --> 01:28:15,205
whatever it is, and in this case it is sex.
1473
01:28:15,288 --> 01:28:17,125
If you can call it controversy.
1474
01:28:18,670 --> 01:28:22,469
[Dra. Ruth] This was the favorite bank
by Fred Westheimer.
1475
01:28:24,473 --> 01:28:30,068
He loved this park with passion. He came almost every day.
1476
01:28:35,955 --> 01:28:37,959
One night in 1997,
1477
01:28:39,086 --> 01:28:42,927
I was coming back from a party from the Academy Awards.
1478
01:28:43,762 --> 01:28:47,770
And Fred said to me, "Ruth, I had a stroke."
1479
01:28:49,106 --> 01:28:51,193
So I called an ambulance,
1480
01:28:51,277 --> 01:28:56,162
and they took him to a hospital.
He was in a coma for ten days.
1481
01:28:56,746 --> 01:28:59,168
He had a surgery,
they did everything possible,
1482
01:28:59,459 --> 01:29:01,380
but they couldn't save him and he died.
1483
01:29:13,446 --> 01:29:19,124
I was very sad because I would have delighted to see his grandchildren grow up.
1484
01:29:22,422 --> 01:29:24,092
It was too early.
1485
01:29:28,476 --> 01:29:30,606
[Miriam] The only time I saw her cry
1486
01:29:30,940 --> 01:29:32,777
It was when my father died.
1487
01:29:32,944 --> 01:29:36,367
In his bed you know
he took his last breath, and ...
1488
01:29:37,327 --> 01:29:38,664
And I saw her cry.
1489
01:29:38,747 --> 01:29:41,001
And I never saw her cry on another occasion.
1490
01:29:45,636 --> 01:29:48,391
After someone's death Jews keep Shivah.
1491
01:29:48,684 --> 01:29:52,525
It's a time of silence, and you stay home seven days
1492
01:29:52,942 --> 01:29:54,821
thinking of the person,
1493
01:29:54,904 --> 01:29:58,954
but she did it for a couple of days and then she went back to work.
1494
01:30:00,498 --> 01:30:04,089
[Joel] My mother had many tragedies in her life.
1495
01:30:04,172 --> 01:30:06,678
She went through the Holocaust, i>
he lost his family,
1496
01:30:06,761 --> 01:30:08,097
he lost my father.
1497
01:30:09,642 --> 01:30:11,980
She is always committed with her work. i>
1498
01:30:12,565 --> 01:30:14,192
You know, she's almost ninety
1499
01:30:14,276 --> 01:30:15,904
and she's always busy.
1500
01:30:16,573 --> 01:30:19,077
I think she does a part of that
1501
01:30:19,161 --> 01:30:21,916
because she loves what she does, i>
1502
01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:23,628
but I think she too ... i>
1503
01:30:25,173 --> 01:30:26,801
it is her survival mechanism.
1504
01:30:28,137 --> 01:30:30,391
I think she felt conscious i>
or unconsciously
1505
01:30:30,475 --> 01:30:32,312
that she had to choose between following i>
1506
01:30:32,813 --> 01:30:34,692
or be eaten.
1507
01:30:37,113 --> 01:30:39,994
[man] Are there parts of your past
you don't want to talk about?
1508
01:30:41,038 --> 01:30:42,207
Of course.
1509
01:30:42,290 --> 01:30:45,088
There are certain things that one does not share.
1510
01:30:45,171 --> 01:30:48,344
Not even with a husband
nor with her own children.
1511
01:30:48,804 --> 01:30:50,223
I give you an example,
1512
01:30:50,306 --> 01:30:54,272
my family was exterminated
in concentration camps.
1513
01:30:55,400 --> 01:30:58,698
And there are certain aspects of, uh,
1514
01:30:58,782 --> 01:31:02,540
the pain and loneliness
that I do not extend
1515
01:31:02,623 --> 01:31:05,420
because they are things
that no one can avoid.
1516
01:31:06,130 --> 01:31:07,257
[man] Thank you.
1517
01:31:10,138 --> 01:31:12,977
[Joel] It's easy for you and me to say
1518
01:31:13,060 --> 01:31:14,939
that she blocks her feelings, i>
1519
01:31:15,022 --> 01:31:17,695
or that she should be explored in depth.
1520
01:31:18,320 --> 01:31:20,659
[Miriam] But that's the way she is.
1521
01:31:21,201 --> 01:31:22,538
she So she survived i>
1522
01:31:23,330 --> 01:31:26,796
and whatever works to live a life
1523
01:31:26,880 --> 01:31:30,846
as complete as yours ...
1524
01:31:32,432 --> 01:31:34,060
For me it's ok.
1525
01:31:37,484 --> 01:31:40,406
JUNE 4, 2018
1526
01:31:41,784 --> 01:31:44,372
90th BIRTHDAY OF DR. RUTH
1527
01:31:47,003 --> 01:31:48,047
[Dra. Ruth]
More flowers?
1528
01:31:48,757 --> 01:31:51,094
Oh God, who sent me that?
1529
01:31:51,178 --> 01:31:52,640
It's lovely.
1530
01:31:52,723 --> 01:31:53,892
Very well.
1531
01:31:54,602 --> 01:31:56,689
Don't take it for granted
1532
01:31:57,357 --> 01:32:00,656
the New York Times
the most important newspaper
1533
01:32:00,739 --> 01:32:03,662
In the USA.
1534
01:32:03,745 --> 01:32:06,709
On my birthday, on the front page,
1535
01:32:06,793 --> 01:32:10,509
not buried in an internal hole.
1536
01:32:10,592 --> 01:32:12,220
Look at this.
1537
01:32:12,596 --> 01:32:13,723
Oh.
1538
01:32:15,936 --> 01:32:18,900
"At 90, he still talks about sex
1539
01:32:18,984 --> 01:32:20,444
From morning to night".
1540
01:32:21,405 --> 01:32:24,452
Okay, come on, come on.
1541
01:32:26,666 --> 01:32:27,960
[laughs]
1542
01:32:36,101 --> 01:32:37,605
I remember
1543
01:32:38,022 --> 01:32:40,443
when she was nine and a half, i>
1544
01:32:40,527 --> 01:32:42,823
before leaving Frankfurt for Switzerland,
1545
01:32:43,658 --> 01:32:46,831
there was a book in my parents' library,
1546
01:32:46,914 --> 01:32:49,002
on the last shelf,
1547
01:32:50,004 --> 01:32:54,429
and when no one was home I was climbing to look for it.
1548
01:32:56,016 --> 01:32:58,437
It was called The Ideal Marriage.
1549
01:32:59,439 --> 01:33:03,698
And I saw that book with sexual positions
1550
01:33:03,782 --> 01:33:07,038
and I said: "This is what my parents do!"
1551
01:33:10,461 --> 01:33:12,090
So my parents,
1552
01:33:12,173 --> 01:33:16,264
even though they didn't have a chance to meet me later ...
1553
01:33:17,768 --> 01:33:21,441
They helped me to be who I am today.
1554
01:33:22,485 --> 01:33:24,072
- Thanks, Vincent.
- No problem.
1555
01:33:24,155 --> 01:33:26,619
- [Dra. Ruth] Make sure
that they give you to eat.
- Well.
1556
01:33:27,955 --> 01:33:30,836
MUSEUM OF JEWISH HERITAGE
1557
01:33:36,012 --> 01:33:37,683
[Michal]
They often ask
1558
01:33:37,766 --> 01:33:40,312
what is it like to be grandchildren
by Dr. Ruth.
1559
01:33:40,814 --> 01:33:43,360
Well, it's having a grandmother
which is very funny,
1560
01:33:43,444 --> 01:33:45,197
that she walks, skis, nothing ...
1561
01:33:45,281 --> 01:33:46,283
MICHAL LECKIE
GRANDDAUGHTER OF DR. RUTH
1562
01:33:46,366 --> 01:33:47,870
... and who gives them great advice
to his grandchildren.
1563
01:33:47,953 --> 01:33:50,332
Happy ninety to our wonderful Omi.
1564
01:33:52,755 --> 01:33:55,134
Those who know Ruth well know
1565
01:33:55,217 --> 01:33:58,182
that she doesn't speak
of her profession with her family.
1566
01:33:58,265 --> 01:33:59,225
GRANDSON OF DR. RUTH
1567
01:33:59,434 --> 01:34:01,104
There is an exception in fourth grade,
1568
01:34:01,188 --> 01:34:02,983
when she gave a full class
sex education
1569
01:34:03,066 --> 01:34:05,279
to all my class
from Riverdale Country School.
1570
01:34:05,362 --> 01:34:07,408
[laughs]
1571
01:34:08,160 --> 01:34:09,789
I still haven't recovered.
1572
01:34:14,130 --> 01:34:17,094
No kidding, happy nineties, Omi.
1573
01:34:17,554 --> 01:34:19,474
I feel very lucky to be your grandson,
1574
01:34:19,558 --> 01:34:20,811
and to think that
millions of people
1575
01:34:20,894 --> 01:34:22,731
they are lucky to follow your advice.
1576
01:34:29,787 --> 01:34:32,626
Ruth became Dr. Ruth
in the eighties...
1577
01:34:32,709 --> 01:34:33,628
FRIEND OF DR. RUTH
1578
01:34:33,711 --> 01:34:34,797
... but thirty years later
1579
01:34:34,880 --> 01:34:36,174
she continues to educate us
1580
01:34:36,424 --> 01:34:38,680
and inspiring everyone.
1581
01:34:39,305 --> 01:34:41,309
Tonight we have a chance
1582
01:34:41,393 --> 01:34:43,815
to tell you how much impact
1583
01:34:43,898 --> 01:34:46,278
you and your life still have.
1584
01:34:46,946 --> 01:34:50,745
That you meet many more
healthy years.
1585
01:34:57,634 --> 01:34:59,012
Grandchildren!
1586
01:34:59,805 --> 01:35:01,266
When I look back,
1587
01:35:01,349 --> 01:35:05,984
It was exactly 70 years ago, on my twentieth birthday
1588
01:35:06,067 --> 01:35:08,531
who wounded me in Jerusalem,
1589
01:35:08,615 --> 01:35:10,869
where I could have lose both legs.
1590
01:35:11,829 --> 01:35:14,543
And eighty years ago
1591
01:35:14,710 --> 01:35:16,964
I left Frankfurt am Main
1592
01:35:17,841 --> 01:35:19,803
because of the Nazis.
1593
01:35:20,931 --> 01:35:23,185
If I could talk to that girl now,
1594
01:35:23,728 --> 01:35:26,441
she would tell him: "Despite the fact i>
1595
01:35:26,943 --> 01:35:30,867
that you experienced some tragic events,
1596
01:35:32,746 --> 01:35:36,169
look what happened to you in life ".
1597
01:35:51,199 --> 01:35:53,663
Friends, did you eat anything?
1598
01:35:55,082 --> 01:35:56,459
Goodbye!
1599
01:35:57,629 --> 01:35:59,132
Hold my hand, please.
1600
01:36:03,432 --> 01:36:04,560
Very well.
1601
01:36:04,643 --> 01:36:06,605
- You ate?
- [man] Yes.
1602
01:36:13,911 --> 01:36:15,707
[Dra. Ruth]
For my past,
1603
01:36:15,790 --> 01:36:17,711
the things that I've overcome,
1604
01:36:18,420 --> 01:36:21,886
I have an obligation to live large
1605
01:36:21,969 --> 01:36:24,850
and leave a mark on the world.
1606
01:36:27,814 --> 01:36:29,150
- Well.
- Well.
1607
01:36:59,753 --> 01:37:01,297
[Dra. Ruth]
Oh I see a rainbow
1608
01:37:01,381 --> 01:37:02,926
Take the rainbow!
1609
01:37:03,009 --> 01:37:04,888
Rainbows bring good luck.
1610
01:37:06,432 --> 01:37:08,228
Look, I see cows.
1611
01:37:09,021 --> 01:37:11,442
One, two, a lot of them.
1612
01:37:12,696 --> 01:37:16,871
Fred Westheimer would have wanted to stop
to talk to them.
1613
01:37:18,875 --> 01:37:20,294
Look at that snow.
1614
01:37:23,425 --> 01:37:25,095
[man laughs]
1615
01:37:26,264 --> 01:37:27,851
Snow in August!
1616
01:37:29,145 --> 01:37:30,940
There is an American term
1617
01:37:31,024 --> 01:37:33,821
that I don't use,
but i will use now.
1618
01:37:34,363 --> 01:37:35,783
"Warming penises".
1619
01:37:36,201 --> 01:37:40,543
You never heard me use it, did you?
1620
01:37:41,754 --> 01:37:43,298
You have to discuss that.
1621
01:37:43,591 --> 01:37:46,387
Ryan, you must try this.
1622
01:37:46,680 --> 01:37:47,974
Something special.
1623
01:37:48,643 --> 01:37:52,567
Who else in the world has a friend
1624
01:37:52,943 --> 01:37:55,447
that he is a great lawyer?
1625
01:37:56,575 --> 01:37:58,495
Can I tell you how much you earn?
1626
01:37:58,579 --> 01:37:59,748
Not.
1627
01:37:59,831 --> 01:38:01,835
[Dra. Ruth]
I know how much you earn per hour.
1628
01:38:02,002 --> 01:38:03,129
I will not say.
1629
01:38:06,344 --> 01:38:08,808
The last. Eat, Ryan.
1630
01:38:10,102 --> 01:38:12,314
- [Dra. Ruth] Do you hear me?
- [Jacobson] Yes, you sound beautiful.
1631
01:38:12,398 --> 01:38:13,483
[Dra. Ruth]
Well.
1632
01:38:13,567 --> 01:38:16,573
I just have to remember
which is on all the time.
1633
01:38:19,245 --> 01:38:22,251
There is a lot of cow poop! Whoops!
1634
01:38:23,546 --> 01:38:26,510
I have two dollhouses
In New York,
1635
01:38:26,593 --> 01:38:28,430
and i need one of those.
1636
01:38:29,850 --> 01:38:33,858
I love everything that is small
and perfect like me.
1637
01:38:34,358 --> 01:38:35,360
[The door opens]
1638
01:38:35,444 --> 01:38:36,864
[Dra. Ruth] Hi, I'm here!
1639
01:38:37,114 --> 01:38:38,534
Where is the cameraman?
1640
01:38:38,617 --> 01:38:40,705
Look what I brought you!
1641
01:38:40,788 --> 01:38:42,542
Look what I stole for you.
1642
01:38:42,625 --> 01:38:44,211
Some sweets for everyone.
1643
01:38:44,295 --> 01:38:45,297
[Greg] Borrowed.
1644
01:38:45,380 --> 01:38:46,717
[Dra. Ruth] No, it's not a loan.
You can eat it.
1645
01:38:46,800 --> 01:38:47,719
[laughter]
1646
01:38:50,558 --> 01:38:52,186
[Ryan] You said the last one.
1647
01:38:52,269 --> 01:38:53,480
Other?
1648
01:38:54,566 --> 01:38:57,154
[interviewer] Why
still posting at 89?
1649
01:38:58,323 --> 01:39:00,035
What a stupid question!
1650
01:39:00,327 --> 01:39:01,454
Next question.
1651
01:39:02,414 --> 01:39:04,628
Although I speak from morning to night
1652
01:39:04,711 --> 01:39:06,673
actually
I am a very reserved person.
1653
01:39:07,466 --> 01:39:10,973
You won't know how much money I have
1654
01:39:11,057 --> 01:39:13,478
And you won't know who I'm sleeping with either.
1655
01:39:13,562 --> 01:39:15,357
- That's all. Goodbye!
- [laughs]
141482
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