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1
00:00:01,566 --> 00:00:02,915
Hope.
2
00:00:02,959 --> 00:00:05,614
That is what I am feeling
on this glorious day
3
00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:08,095
as we are gathered here
together...
4
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:09,661
[sighs]
5
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,141
to mourn
6
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:13,491
the loss of
one of our brethren,
7
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:16,929
cruelly taken in his prime
due to cholera.
8
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,192
Which--which reminds me.
9
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:20,716
Please, please
stay six feet apart.
10
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,761
[wind whistles]
11
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,285
Yes, good,
nobody's doing it.
12
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,113
Okay, moving on.
13
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,376
But as each new day
pummels us
14
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:32,032
with a seemingly endless
onslaught of fresh horrors,
15
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,424
we must not lose faith.
16
00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:37,167
After all, this is America,
17
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:40,257
where opportunity awaits
around every corner.
18
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,129
Can I get an amen?ALL: Amen.
19
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,782
[groans]
20
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,525
Yeah, just put her
in the coffin, too.
21
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,179
They're--they're both
pretty small.
22
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:52,095
All right, you get her feet.And we will take this
from the top!
23
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,096
Hope!
24
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:56,273
[theme music plays]
25
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:01,887
[crows squawk]
26
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:07,328
That's it.
This year's harvest.
27
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:08,677
Worse than last year,
28
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,374
which was worse
than the year before that.
29
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:12,985
Maybe we should just
kill ourselves now
30
00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:14,030
and get it over with.
31
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,466
I am not killing myself.
32
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,164
You stupid--Please stop fighting!
33
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:18,339
[overlapping shouting]
34
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,905
Hey! That's enough!
That's enough.
35
00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:22,952
Guys, look. I know things
seem desperate right now,
36
00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:26,956
but I believe there is
a better place for all of us.
37
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:29,524
Oregon. Yeah!
38
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,178
See, I've been reading
testimonies
39
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,093
of people in similar
situations to us.
40
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:36,313
Many of them have found
their salvation in Oregon.
41
00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:37,445
You know how
to navigate across
42
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,403
2,000 miles
of untamed territory?
43
00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,798
No, I--Sorry, Reverend.
44
00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:44,060
Without
an experienced guide,
45
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,714
going to Oregon
is out of the question.
46
00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,281
Maybe we should just go back
to John's idea
47
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,804
about killing ourselves.
48
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,241
I think there was
something there.
49
00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:56,768
♪♪♪
50
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:02,818
Oh, Zeke.
51
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,298
Hold it right there.
52
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,213
Oh, no. Aah...
53
00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:08,954
Wow, Zeke. Really?
54
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:10,521
You look truly dismal.
55
00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:11,870
Come on, Pru, you know
I don't feel comfortable
56
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:12,958
with that contraption
of yours.
57
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:14,177
Capturing one's image is
58
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:15,526
absolutely a form of vanity.
59
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,137
Why does everything have
to be a sin with you?
60
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,703
Can't it just be fun?
61
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,401
I'm not really in a fun mood
right now, what with the town
62
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,620
on the verge of extinction
and everything.
63
00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,231
Hey, man. You think you
have it bad?
64
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,928
I just spent all day
mending socks.
65
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:28,191
All day. Just socks.
66
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,237
So will you please just
let me have this one thing?
67
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,673
Yes, I will. Okay.
Don't hurt me.
68
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:32,674
Great.
69
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,199
Okay, how's, um...
how's this?
70
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:37,940
Oh, yes, I love it!
71
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:40,334
You're giving me serious
fire and brimstone right now,
72
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:42,031
and it's working.You're ridiculous.
73
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:46,340
Ah. That was pretty cool.[clears throat]
74
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:48,342
Well, good day, Reverend.
75
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:50,300
Good day, Mrs. Aberdeen.
76
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:53,303
Oh, and hey--good luck
saving the town.
77
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,745
Heavenly Father, it's me,
Ezekiel Brown.
78
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,225
I don't know why I said my name.
79
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,575
You know it's me.
We talk all the time.
80
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:07,839
This town is full
of good people, Lord,
81
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,667
innocent people,
82
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:13,628
but if we don't find someone
who can lead us to Oregon,
83
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,107
they're all gonna die.
84
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,284
Please, Lord,
85
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:20,156
send us a miracle.
86
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:29,948
Howdy.
87
00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,432
Come on, get him on the table.
Get him on the table.
88
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,260
Come on, he's hurt,
he's hurt.
89
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,219
Okay, let's see
what we've got here.
90
00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:42,134
Oh, my God! Oh.
You know what?
91
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,135
Actually, Prudence,
92
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,528
uh, you should
take care of this.
93
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,226
It's more like women's work
anyway. So...
94
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,142
Sir, can you drink
any water?
95
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:51,361
[weakly] Whiskey?
96
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:52,710
Well, I don't think
that's a good idea.
97
00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:54,321
You've been wandering
the desert.I said whiskey!
98
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:56,018
Okay.
99
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,330
Sir, my--my name is
Reverend Ezekiel Brown.
100
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,593
Can I ask who you are?
101
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:08,944
I'm nobody.
102
00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:14,297
Um, Jim Nobody.
103
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,387
Yeah, I'm--
I'm a frontiersman.
104
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,476
You see, I was just out
on the dusty trail,
105
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,869
Argh! And, uh...[bullet lands in tin cup]
106
00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:23,306
Out of nowhere,
this gang of outlaws comes
107
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,917
and they--they shoot me
in the back.[bullet lands in cup]
108
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:28,442
By the way, how's it looking
back there?Good.
109
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,834
[whispers] It's bad.
110
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,446
Uh, a frontiersman?
Sir, by any chance,
111
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:34,317
have your travels
taken you to Oregon?
112
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,450
Sure, once or twice.
113
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,929
I've been all over
this damn country
114
00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:40,236
more times
than I can count.This is it!
115
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,107
This is the man who can
take us to Oregon.
116
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,371
You said yourself, John,
all we needed was a guide
117
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,242
and God has sent us
this man.
118
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:52,335
Sir, will you lead us
to our salvation in Oregon?
119
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,815
No.
120
00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,512
What?[sighs] Look,
121
00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:57,384
I appreciate you
patching me up and all,
122
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,429
but I have no interest
in chaperoning
123
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:02,476
a bunch of soft-bellied,
slack-jawed dirt farmers
124
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,521
across the country.
125
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:05,566
No offense.None taken.
126
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,784
I got the medicine
from town,
127
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,308
and you won't believe
the news.
128
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,875
Benny the Teen robbed
Fort McAlister.
129
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:13,617
Benny the Teen,
the notorious outlaw?
130
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,053
In these parts?
131
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,011
They're sending
in federal marshals
132
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,534
across the territory
to find him.
133
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:20,755
Ah, you know what?
[stammers]
134
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,670
I think I'll take you
to Oregon after all.
135
00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:24,672
Great!
What changed your mind?
136
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,456
Just figured, why say no
when you can say yes?
137
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,371
[laughs] In fact I think
we should leave right now.
138
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,764
Oh, but don't we need time
139
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:30,895
to plan the route
and stock up on supplies?
140
00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:33,594
Nah, the Oregon Trail's
a straight shot.
141
00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,553
I mean, we can
pretty much wing it.
142
00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:37,815
- [groans loudly]
- [bullets roll on floor]
143
00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:39,426
Okay!
144
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,384
Who's excited
to go to Oregon?
145
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:44,082
[all cheer]All right! Come on!
Time's a-wasting.
146
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:57,574
♪♪♪
147
00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,141
Hey, looking good,
Granny McGill.
148
00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,709
Hey, Reverend.
All this bouncing around
149
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,667
reminds me
of my wedding night.
150
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:05,843
Ha ha!Okay.
151
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,279
Oh, um, howdy, wagon master.
152
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,369
You mind if I ride
up front with you?
153
00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:10,282
Be my guest.
154
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,547
- Ah!
- Okay.
155
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,026
[sighs]
156
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,812
So, tell me, what's life like
as a frontiersman, then?
157
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:21,598
Well, you know,
it's, uh...
158
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:24,645
roaming the frontier,
doing frontier stuff.
159
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:27,430
Oh, fascinating.
160
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:30,477
What kind of frontier stuff?
You know, specifically?
161
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,395
Uh, you know, little of this,
little of that.
162
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:39,877
It's frontier stuff. I don't
know how else to explain it.
163
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,662
How friggin' awesome is this?
164
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,534
Just the open land,
fresh air,
165
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:47,058
just the sense of adventure.
[sighs]
166
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,104
I feel free.
167
00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:50,584
TODD: Prudence!
168
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,587
Oh, God.
I should get that.
169
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:56,807
Yes, dear?
170
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:59,331
I'm feeling wagon-sick.
Can you rub my belly?
171
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,683
Of course, dear.
172
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,125
I, like, hate this trip
already.
173
00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:13,258
The wagons are so bumpy.
The oxen smell like shit.
174
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:15,435
Like, would it kill them
to just put a skylight
175
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:16,697
in one of these things?
176
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,568
You know,
you might actually
177
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,875
enjoy it more
if you just left the wagon.
178
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,486
Yeah, it's really
beautiful out there.
179
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,358
I saw a cloud that looked
just like a rabbit.
180
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:28,578
Oh. That's nice,
181
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,667
but, that makes no sense.
182
00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:32,495
Right? 'Cause clouds
look like clouds,
183
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:35,498
and rabbits look like...
184
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,717
BOTH: Rabbits.
185
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,675
Okay?You're right.
186
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,068
Now less talk-talk
and more rub-rub.
187
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,983
I'm just gonna lie here
until we get to Oregon.
188
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:47,075
Enough about me. What's--
what's your deal?
189
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,207
I notice you talk crazy.[chuckles]
190
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:51,122
Well, I was born and raised
in England.
191
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,516
Well, not raised, actually.
I'm an orphan, so...
192
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,300
Oh, well, sorry to hear that.
193
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,867
Yes, the headmistress
would beat me
194
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:58,260
with a shovel every morning
195
00:07:58,303 --> 00:07:59,914
and feed me scraps
of shoe leather for dinner.
196
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,525
To earn my keep I had
to dance naked for pennies.
197
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,527
Pennies can really hurt.
198
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,224
Wow, that sounds rough.
199
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:09,445
No, actually, it's a pretty
standard childhood in England.
200
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,969
♪♪♪
201
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,667
Ho![horse neighs]
202
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:14,624
U.S. Marshals.
203
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,539
Pull over.
204
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:19,368
♪♪♪
205
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,286
We're looking for
an outlaw,
206
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:27,419
goes by the name of
Benny the Teen.
207
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:30,118
ZEKE: Oh, yes, we heard about
the robbery at Fort McAlister.
208
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:30,988
Terrible business.
209
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,381
I'm Reverend Ezekiel Brown.
210
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:33,861
This is our wagon master,
Jim Nobody.
211
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,734
Nobody, huh?
212
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,650
It's German.
213
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,304
German.
214
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:44,698
[clears throat]
215
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:49,703
German-Dutch, eh...
Scottish.
216
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,879
French.
[clears throat]
217
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:56,274
Would you mind removing
your hat, please, Mr. Nobody?
218
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,848
You've never seen
this man before?
219
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:08,199
No. I don't recognize him
at all. [chuckles]
220
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:10,550
Handsome guy, though.
Beautiful mustache.
221
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,117
Oh, hey!
222
00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:14,292
Get this off me!
223
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:16,817
What--I--come on!
224
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:19,210
What--oh! Oh.
225
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:21,952
No, doesn't ring a bell.
226
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:25,434
I'm just so sorry for
the inconvenience, gentlemen.
227
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:27,001
Happy trails.
228
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:29,830
Yeah, keep up the good work,
officer.
229
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,702
[chuckles] Whoo!
Whoo!
230
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:35,226
Hoo hoo! [clears throat]
231
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,446
All right, let's get
back on the trail.
232
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,668
[laughter]
233
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:44,279
So there I was,
with just my boots on,
234
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,281
when her husband
kicks down the door.
235
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:47,630
I don't think
236
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,501
the fair reverend's
gonna like this next part.
237
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:50,981
Yeah, I bet I won't.
238
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:52,940
Ooh. Somebody's got
a snake in his boot.
239
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:56,117
Ooh.
Speaking of snakes,
240
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,119
I gotta drain
the ol' sidewinder.
241
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,861
I call it that because
of how weird it looks.
242
00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:02,123
[laughter]
243
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,341
[whispers] All right,
everyone, listen up.
244
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:05,605
That man is not
who he claims to be.
245
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,824
That is Benny the Teen.Who?
The mysterious wagon master
246
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:09,957
who appeared
out of thin air?Yes! Him.
247
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,959
And we have to do something
before he slips away.
248
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,918
Whew! Ahh.
False alarm.
249
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,878
Is it true
what the rev says?
250
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,706
Are you Benny the Teen?
251
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,710
All right, I am.
252
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:26,974
Ooh...
253
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,976
Benny the Teen!
[laughs]
254
00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:31,239
[laughter]What?
255
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,634
We got a celebrity
in our midst.
256
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:37,114
He's not a celebrity.
He's a famous murderer.
257
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,247
Please, stay as long
as you need.
258
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:43,730
It is our honor to be led
by theBenny the Teen.Yeah!
259
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,514
Brethren,
what are we thinking?
260
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:48,038
We cannot allow ourselves
to be led by this man.
261
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:50,693
This man's a criminal!
He's done terrible things.
262
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:51,738
He's done nothing bad to me.
263
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,000
No, not yet.
He just got here.
264
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,305
What if he robs you?
What if he kills you?
265
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,698
Well, that's different.
That'd be a discussion.
266
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:56,743
Unbelievable.
267
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,570
Well, I guess
it's settled, then.
268
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,921
Now, where was I?
Oh, yes, the husband.
269
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:03,053
Well, he looks at
us and he says,
270
00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:05,795
"Don't stop. I'm into it.
Keep going."
271
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,536
[laughter]And then I shot him.
272
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:08,929
[louder laughter]
273
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,671
Sounds like they're
having fun out there.
274
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,455
Well, why don't we have
some fun in here?
275
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,765
I heard what you said earlier
276
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:21,245
about wanting me
to enjoy myself.
277
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:24,858
Well, I'm feeling
much better now.
278
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,207
Well, that's nice,
but I--
279
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:27,643
[shushes]
280
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:31,647
I want you to
just sit right there
281
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,303
and you let Monsieur Todd
grab the martinis.
282
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,696
[sucks teeth]
I made them extra dirty.
283
00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:39,829
With stagnant pond water
I found beside the road.
284
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:43,006
[insects buzzing]Oh, I don't think
that's a good idea.
285
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,356
You can catch dysentery
like that.[chuckles]
286
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:49,491
Ooh, it's spicy.
287
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,450
No, thank you. I can't...
288
00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:54,061
hold my liquor
like you can.
289
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,193
I see.
290
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,542
Straight to business, then.
291
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:00,241
Okay.Okay.
292
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:01,764
Are you good?Yeah.
293
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:04,027
[loud fart]
294
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:06,073
Did you hear that?
Must've been an owl.
295
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:08,945
They're
all over these parts.
296
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,642
Anyway, where were we?
297
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:12,166
[farts] Aah!
298
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:14,168
They're... [chuckles]
really hooting tonight.
299
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:16,474
Do you maybe need
to step outside?No, no, no.
300
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:18,650
I'm good, I'm--hey.
301
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,696
I'm so good.
302
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,219
[wet fart]
Ooh.
303
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,701
Ah. Aah!
304
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:29,226
[farting continues]Love you.
305
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:32,012
Oh, Lord! It's like
the great Mississippi
306
00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:35,058
gushing from my ass!
[whimpering]
307
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,977
Hey, kid. Want to come
sit up front with me?
308
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:43,414
No, thank you. I don't sit
next to evil sinners.
309
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:47,201
You know, nothing's really
changed, if you think about it.
310
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:49,377
I'm still taking you
to Oregon.
311
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,727
Might be a nicer trip
if we were more friendly-like.
312
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,382
I'm not your friend.
I thought you were sent by God
313
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:55,818
but it turns out
you were sent by the devil.
314
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,473
[gunshot]Whoa!
315
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,301
[horses neigh]
316
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,395
Hey, guys!
317
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,049
Oop! Sorry about the gunshot.
318
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:11,399
I know it's, like,
super loud. [laughs]
319
00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:13,880
Can everyone please
step out of their wagons?
320
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:15,925
Who is he?Bad news.
321
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,972
MAN IN BLACK:
Yeah, thanks. I'm that guy.
322
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:21,931
[chuckles] Have any of you
seen Benny the Teen?
323
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,411
With all due respect, sir,
324
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,239
we already got searched
by the sheriff.
325
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,676
Oh, with all due respect,
ma'am,
326
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,678
I ain't the sheriff.
327
00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:30,940
I'm a bounty hunter.
328
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:34,117
I've brought hundreds of men
to the noose,
329
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:36,641
but Benny the Teen
has always eluded me.
330
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:39,906
That is, until I found
a trail of bloody footprints
331
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,647
leading from Fort McAlister
332
00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:45,955
to your town.
[chuckles] Imagine that.
333
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:49,698
So let me ask you
one more time.
334
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:54,181
Have any of you seen
Benny the Teen?
335
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:55,878
[coughs, clears throat]
Benny.
336
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,185
Oh, sorry, I just--
[coughs]
337
00:13:58,228 --> 00:13:59,664
Sorry! [coughs] Benny.
338
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,275
Is it allergies? Uch.
339
00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:04,408
My sinuses go crazy, too.
I feel you, brother.
340
00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:07,672
[coughing] I'm saying
Benny is in there.
341
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,502
Everyone stand back.
342
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:14,810
I got you.
343
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,725
Congrats! You found me.
344
00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:17,900
But you'll never catch me.
345
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,684
To the trees!
346
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:22,949
[townspeople gasp]
347
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,907
Guess I'm a little rusty.
348
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,343
Stop playing hard to get.
349
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,692
Thank you, Reverend.
You've done a good deed
350
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,303
bringing this villain
to justice.
351
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,131
Yeah, thanks, Ezekiel.
352
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,133
Good luck getting
to Oregon now.
353
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:39,661
♪♪♪
354
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,925
No, no, we can still
get to Oregon.
355
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:44,927
We just follow the trail.
356
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:49,018
Oh, no.
Where, um... [clears throat]
357
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,368
Where--where is
that trail?
358
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,941
Hey, Zeke.
Doing all right?
359
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,247
Yeah! Yeah, great.
360
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:01,639
Benny's off to jail
and it's gonna be
361
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:03,467
smooth sailing
all the way to Oregon.
362
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,121
I am perfectly capable
of leading us.
363
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:08,472
I just need to figure out
which way is west.
364
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:09,734
Um...
365
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:14,000
Huh.
Yeah, this isn't a map.
366
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,785
This is an anatomical
drawing of a horse.
367
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:19,179
Yes, so it is.
368
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:21,703
Hmm, there are
its powerful haunches.
369
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:24,793
Oh, God.
We're screwed, aren't we?
370
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:25,837
Yeah. [sighs]
371
00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:27,361
It doesn't make any sense!
372
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,885
Why? Why would God send
an evil man to lead us
373
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,234
on a righteous mission?
374
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:33,367
Why, God, why?
What do you want from me?
375
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,369
Is this some sort of test,
you sick son of a bitch?
376
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,023
Whoa!You want me to crawl
on the ground
377
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,459
and spank my little arse,
do you?
378
00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:40,635
I'll do it!Oh, my--
379
00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:43,029
Is this what you like?
Am I a good little piggy?Hey!
380
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,944
Oink! Oink!Hey, cut it out.
381
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,120
Come on, knock it off.
382
00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:49,470
Get up.
Hey! Listen.[panting]
383
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:51,907
What if God
isn't punishing you?
384
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,214
Maybe God's okay with you
doing a little bad
385
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,520
if it means doing
a lot of good?
386
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,350
You're right.
You're right.
387
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,004
We need to get Benny back.
388
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,658
Yes! Thank you.
389
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,965
Okay, the bounty hunter
probably hasn't gotten far.
390
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,096
We can still catch up.
391
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:08,228
Prudence? Where are you?
392
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:09,838
I blasted through
that toilet paper.
393
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,840
We're gonna need
something much stronger.
394
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:13,973
Do you have to deal
with that?
395
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:17,454
No. Todd can take care
of himself.
396
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,890
Let's get out of here.
397
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:23,504
Oh! No, it's fine.
I found some red ivy here.
398
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,768
Maybe if I rub it in
real good and deep
399
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:27,856
it'll feel better.
400
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,249
[owl hooting]
401
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,685
Hey? [clears throat]
402
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,470
Seeing as this might be
our last chat and all,
403
00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:35,255
I've always been curious--
how come you never
404
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:36,865
tell anyone your name?
405
00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:40,129
A man needs a name so his people
know what to call him by.
406
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:42,131
I don't got people.
407
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:44,177
Ahh.
408
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,569
Nah, I'm not buying it.
409
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,007
I think it's because you have
a really weird name.
410
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,183
Let me guess--
is it Nerbert?
411
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,836
My name's not Nerbert.
412
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:52,968
Is it Frampton?
413
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,971
Frampton...Oh! I got it. It's Dingus.
414
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,494
My name isn't Dingus, okay?
415
00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,888
I'm not playing this game
with you anymore.
416
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,803
You annoy me.
417
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,066
Hello! Excuse me.
418
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,068
Reverend?
What are you doing here?
419
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,852
We just wanted to say
thank you again
420
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,246
for capturing this despicable
piece of human scum.
421
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,682
Boy. Kick a man
when he's down much?
422
00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:14,163
And in honor
of this historic occasion,
423
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:15,947
we thought you might like
a photograph.
424
00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:18,341
The day Benny the Teen
was brought to justice
425
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:20,343
by the great, um...
426
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:23,085
Dingus.Shut up!
427
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,654
Wow! Uh, yeah, no.
Uh, um...
428
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,090
I'll do a photo,
yeah, sure.
429
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:30,223
Great! Okay, so just
come a little closer.
430
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:31,833
All right.A little more.
431
00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:33,226
I'm blushing.
432
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:35,228
A little closer, and then
just look right here.
433
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:37,012
What should I do?
434
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,145
Maybe like a...
No.
435
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,147
Um, I'll do the gun,
the guns.
436
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:44,237
Okay, and now just say "cheese"
for 20 minutes.
437
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,586
Cheese...
438
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:50,504
I'm getting you out of here.Oh! My man.
439
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,027
Eeee...That's really good.
440
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,290
Just keep it going,
just a couple more minutes.
441
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,900
[inhales] Eee...
442
00:17:55,944 --> 00:17:58,164
Can't get these ropes off.That's okay.
443
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,340
I can wiggle my way
out of any situation.
444
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:04,257
Wiggle free!No. Stop wiggling!
445
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,519
It's working!
I can feel it!
446
00:18:05,562 --> 00:18:06,998
It's not working!
It's making it tighter.
447
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:09,131
Okay, come on, get up.Hey, what's going on?
448
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,569
All right,
nobody move.
449
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:13,875
Damn it.No funny business.
450
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:15,137
Put your hands up
where the sun don't shine.
451
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,878
You want me to put
my hands up my butt?
452
00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:18,532
What?You said you wanted me
453
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:20,360
to put my hands
where the sun don't shine.
454
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:21,404
That would be my butt.
455
00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:22,971
That is what you said
technically.
456
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,842
All right, would you just
give me a break for a second?
457
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,366
This is my first time
sticking somebody up.
458
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,411
I'm very nervous.All right,
forget I said anything.
459
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:29,804
You're--
you're doing great.Thank you.
460
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:32,589
All right, what's your plan
here, huh, pardner?
461
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:35,026
'Cause you don't seem to me
462
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,072
like the killing type.
463
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:39,901
[horse neighs]
464
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,729
Take that![grunts]
465
00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:44,166
Take his horse.
Let's go.
466
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:47,169
Oh...
467
00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:49,650
Hey, hey, wait!
I'm still tied up!
468
00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:52,479
Better luck next time,
Dingus!
469
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:55,264
My name's not Dingus.
470
00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:58,485
Well, joke's on you,
'cause that horse sucks.
471
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,795
PRUDENCE: Hey, everyone!
We got Benny back!
472
00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:07,798
Hi, guys.
473
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,670
[cheering]
474
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:15,284
How'd you do it?
475
00:19:15,328 --> 00:19:17,243
It was all Pru's idea.
476
00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:18,287
She tricked
the bounty hunter.
477
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:19,680
Well, my plan wouldn't
have worked
478
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:22,161
if Ezekiel hadn't pulled
a friggin' gun on the guy.
479
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,249
Aah, I did do that.
480
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:24,250
Prudence! There you are!
481
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,774
[all gasp]
482
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,558
Oh, my God, Todd.
483
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:32,867
Oh, yes. The ivy
made things much worse.
484
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,347
Thankfully, though,
I was able to
485
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:36,218
fashion this undergarment
486
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,828
out of surplus
wagon materials.
487
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:40,440
Sort of a gentleman's napkin,
if you will.
488
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,051
Anyway, um, I will need you
489
00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:44,922
to lather aloe
all over my body,
490
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:48,274
as I am a wee bit concerned
my skin is going to explode.
491
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:50,276
Of course, dear.
492
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:55,324
Thanks, Zeke.
That was really fun.
493
00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:57,761
Yeah, it was.
Well, um,
494
00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,807
we should do it again
some time.
495
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:03,463
[laughs]
I'd like that.
496
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:13,037
I gotta admit,
those were some
497
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:15,083
pretty impressive
bandit moves back there.
498
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,650
You know, I think you got
a little bit more
499
00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,304
bad guy in you
than you think.
500
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,349
Well, I think you have
a little bit more
501
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:21,437
good guy in you
than you think.
502
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:22,960
I don't know about that.
503
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,006
No, well, I know you have
killed people,
504
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,051
but I'm sure it was always
in self-defense.
505
00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:30,229
Not really. Sometimes
it was straight-up murder.
506
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:31,534
Just men, though, right?
507
00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:33,493
Yeah, yeah, just men.
508
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:36,583
And women.
509
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,368
And some children.
510
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:40,761
EZEKIEL:
Bad children, at least?
511
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:43,111
BENNY:
No, just children.
512
00:20:43,161 --> 00:20:47,711
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