Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,800
Previously on Californication...
2
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,468
What? You guys are doing it now?
3
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:12,761
It's none of your business.
4
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,638
It should be pretty cut and dry.
5
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,683
You plead guilty to unlawful
sexual conduct,
6
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,394
the statutory rape charge
goes away.
7
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,109
Nice work, asshole. Deal's off.
8
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,069
No fair. Indian givers.
9
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:32,406
I'm dropping the case,
leaving the opportunity for you to find
10
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,950
an attorney who suits your
particular personality.
11
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,952
Look around.
Welcome to rock bottom.
12
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:40,289
I live in this shitty,
filthy hotel room.
13
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:41,623
You hate me.
Becca hates me.
14
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:42,791
My attorney dumped me.
15
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,710
- I'll be your attorney again.
- Really?
16
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,003
- You will?
- Yes.
17
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,337
No more sex.
18
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,964
I'm Peggy,
your real-estate agent.
19
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,883
You're such a fucking slut.
20
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,426
What the fuck?
21
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,053
You can choke me if you want to.
22
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:56,305
So what if you knocked up
one of these slunts?
23
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:59,933
I would present her with a gift card entitling
the bearer to one back-alley abortion.
24
00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,185
I'm pregnant.
25
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,480
Oh, God, Stu.
26
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:06,315
Jesus.
27
00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:09,359
- I'm gonna be a father!
- No. Stu!
28
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:25,000
Here's to Hank Moody...
29
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,669
- versus the State of California.
- Up yours.
30
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,255
And here's to you keeping
my black ass out of San Quentin.
31
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,174
I'll do my utmost.
32
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,343
- And the devil take the hindmost.
- Remember,
33
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:36,845
when you're up on the stand and the
prosecutor asks you...
34
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:39,973
- I am not a crook.
- That's good.
35
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:42,059
- I am not a crook.
- All right, all right.
36
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,436
You're sick of all the prep.
I understand. I got it.
37
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,396
I am sick of it, yes,
but I'm also nervous.
38
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,315
- I am.
- Yeah, you should be.
39
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,400
I just hope I don't get the squirts
up on the stand.
40
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:53,779
Well, me too. Nervous shitters
are almost always found guilty.
41
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,531
I would imagine.
42
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:58,283
How about you?
You nervous at all?
43
00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,369
No. I used to be.
44
00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:04,039
Fuck, I used to blow chunks
the night before every first day in court.
45
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:07,376
No, that's hot. I wish I'd been there
to hold your hair back
46
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:11,421
- and fondle your titties.
- Oh, how you talk.
47
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,590
Well, but I've been doing this
a long time now.
48
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:16,009
I've lost the butterflies.
49
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,886
Yeah.
50
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,097
Well, it's been
an interesting ride.
51
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,516
That is one way to put it.
52
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:25,686
Thanks for sticking it out with me.
53
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,105
You're quite welcome.
54
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,733
Do you want to come upstairs
and have a nightcap?
55
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,902
I've got the swellest little
honour bar in town.
56
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:37,739
- That's a nice try.
- Come on. Can you blame a guy?
57
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:42,578
It's the Friday before the Monday
I stand trial for crimes against humanity.
58
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,746
A man might be craving
some company.
59
00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:48,083
Some of your sweet,
intelligent company.
60
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,836
Get a massage, a facial.
61
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,921
Stop teasing me
with your dirty talk.
62
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:55,674
I'll see you Monday.
63
00:02:55,717 --> 00:03:00,387
Bright and early
with liberty and justice for all.
64
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,977
Hang in there. I'm good at this.
65
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,870
- How can I help you, sir?
- My key has failed me, milady.
66
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,331
Henry James Moody.
The third.
67
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,626
Yes, Mr Moody.
There's just the matter of the bill.
68
00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:33,212
- What's the matter with it?
- Well, it would appear
69
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:36,131
that the credit card company
is not accepting your charges.
70
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,300
Well, that shit happens.
Between you and me,
71
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,386
I'm pretty fucking solvent right now.
I made a hundy large last week.
72
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,639
- Good for you, sir.
- For doing nothing, literally.
73
00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:45,807
A fourth-grader could have
stepped in for me.
74
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,852
- America. It's a great fucking country, huh?
- Great.
75
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,397
So, can we put this on my tab
or you want to give my agent a call?
76
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,442
You're not gonna throw me out on my ass
over some piddly little sum, are you?
77
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,319
- Well...
- What are we talking about here?
78
00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,197
- What do I owe?
- Let's see. Here we go.
79
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:06,620
- Roughly, $25,000 and some change.
- Well, fuck my face.
80
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,893
Sweetie.
81
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:14,104
Don't you just love the fresh sea air?
82
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,274
- What are you doing?
- Credit card snafu at the hotel.
83
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,234
I couldn't get in touch
with Uncle Runkle
84
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,320
and I didn't want
to wake you guys up.
85
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:23,572
You couldn't find a floozy
to take you in?
86
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:27,117
Hey now. What's wrong
with communing with nature,
87
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,121
- sleeping under the stars?
- There's bird shit on your shoulder.
88
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:34,416
Look at that.
89
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,293
So there is.
90
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:40,088
- Did you drink and drive?
- In that order?
91
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:42,007
Come in.
92
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,176
I don't think that's
such a good idea, Becs.
93
00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:47,262
- Your mom...
- She said it was OK.
94
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,765
Well, in that case.
95
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,565
Oh, God.
I can't believe this.
96
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:02,611
I can't believe I'm deflowering
my own little brother.
97
00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:06,490
Believe it, Sister Christian.
Keepin' it in the family.
98
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,617
- Oh, my.
- Taboo-style.
99
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:13,455
My own brother inside me.
This is so fucking wrong!
100
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,375
So wrong, my sexy sibling.
101
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:20,128
- We shared a crib.
- So very, very wrong.
102
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:23,507
Fuck me, flesh and blood!
Fuck me.
103
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:26,927
Mom and Dad would not like this
one little bit, would they?
104
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,804
Oh, no. Mom and Dad.
105
00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:31,431
What if they come home
early from Mammoth?
106
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:38,438
Mom and Dad were...
Mom and Dad were killed recently
107
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,524
in an unfortunate car crash.
108
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:45,529
Your virginity is mine,
Brother Runkle!
109
00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:49,032
You getting close, by any chance?
110
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,745
Did you cum already?
111
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,747
A couple minutes back, yeah.
112
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:59,543
I thought I could power through
to the next boner. My bad.
113
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:04,506
I don't mind, Charlie.
114
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,591
Pleasing you pleases me.
115
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,553
Please me you do,
my fantasy sister.
116
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:12,222
I want to fulfil
all of your fantasies, Charlie.
117
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,516
I know you've got a lot of sick,
twisted stuff
118
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,768
going on in that dome of yours,
119
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,854
and I want to make it all come true.
120
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:21,231
Good to know.
121
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,193
Do you want to watch me
have sex with another man?
122
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:28,029
Not really.
123
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:29,948
Maybe.
124
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,995
Runklehaus.
125
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,915
It's your ex.
126
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,208
Marcy?
127
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:43,086
- Who the hell was that?
- A little busy here, Marce.
128
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,213
What can I do you for?
129
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:48,383
Stu and I would like to have you
over for dinner tonight.
130
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,011
Well, I can't do it tonight.
131
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:54,639
I got reservations at Mozza.
What about sometime next week?
132
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:57,100
Look, I know it's last-minute and all,
133
00:07:57,143 --> 00:08:00,228
but Stu's been
after me ever since
134
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,689
I moved in here to have
you over, so...
135
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,399
Yeah, why?
So he can rub my nose
136
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,485
in the opulent lifestyle
I could never give you?
137
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,445
Hardly.
138
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,614
Stu is all about
looking to the future.
139
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,909
- He says it's what mature adults do.
- OK, OK. Fine.
140
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,578
I guess I can switch
some things around.
141
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:25,504
- Can I bring a date?
- Consider yourself plus one.
142
00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:27,547
Gotta go.
143
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:32,052
So is there anything new
I need to know about?
144
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:34,054
Latest developments?
145
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:36,473
Any news I need
to be kept abreast of?
146
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:41,853
He said "breast." He did.
147
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,981
"Breast."
148
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,943
Well, you know, actually...
149
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:52,405
I could use some money.
I mean, we have a mortgage to pay.
150
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:55,492
Yeah, but I don't live here any more.
You kicked me out, remember?
151
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,203
- Excuse me?
- No, the cheque's in the mail. Honestly.
152
00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:01,873
Despite the great unpleasantness,
I've been doing quite well financially, so...
153
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,292
That's why you got
kicked out of your hotel?
154
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,877
That was just
a credit card snafu, honey.
155
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,339
Turns out it's really expensive to live in
a hotel. But I'm doing fine, sweetie.
156
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,675
Your father
is a big-time wordsmith.
157
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,678
- Great, so you can buy me a car.
- You don't know how to drive.
158
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,139
- Great, so you can teach me.
- Where is this coming from?
159
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,976
Pearl's learning how to drive right now.
Ben's teaching her.
160
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:25,647
- He's gonna get her a car too.
- Get a load of Black Jesus.
161
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,566
Does he turn water
into whiskey too?
162
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:30,485
Heal the sick?
Yeah, he does, huh?
163
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,697
Whatever. I don't know how I feel
about you behind the wheel.
164
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:36,616
- What do you think?
- Yeah, I could teach her.
165
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,785
- You're a terrible driver.
- I am not.
166
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:42,455
Yes, you are. You're like
an Asian woman with Alzheimer's.
167
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:46,209
No arms or legs.
Steering with your tongue.
168
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,672
Whoops. She just fell over.
What are you gonna do now?
169
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,591
You see that?
No, that was horrible.
170
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,427
- We still got it, that family chemistry.
- You're so stupid.
171
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:59,055
The Cosbys, the Huxtables,
the Mansons - they got nothing on us.
172
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,057
No, no. You stay.
173
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,393
You were the architect
of this sumptuous feast
174
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,646
and I will be the boy that buses
the shit out of it.
175
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:13,403
Don't laugh,
cos you'll just encourage him.
176
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,075
OK, OK. Yeah.
177
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,536
I've lost feeling in my ass.
178
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,455
All right. OK.
179
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:27,167
Well, that's totally normal.
Not really.
180
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:31,212
You hear that? Blackie's in pain.
Poor Blackie's just crying.
181
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:33,715
- Did I break it?
- No, no. No, babe.
182
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,592
- Just throw it in neutral.
- No. That's it.
183
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,719
I don't want to learn to drive any more.
It's too hard.
184
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,721
Honey, you might want to reconsider.
LA is not known
185
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,556
for the quality
of its public transportation.
186
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,391
There is nothing wrong
with the Big Blue Bus.
187
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:46,728
What? You want her sandwiched between
some guy with teardrop tattoos
188
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,897
and an old lady that smells like
cat food and menstrual blood?
189
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:51,524
Why would an old woman
smell like menstrual blood?
190
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,318
- Well...
- Because he never thinks
191
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,278
before he opens his mouth.
192
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,906
That may be true,
but crazy people do ride the bus.
193
00:10:57,948 --> 00:11:01,618
And maybe she smells of menstrual blood
because the homeless prostitute
194
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,787
two seats away from her
just threw her tampon at her.
195
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,914
- Oh, my God.
- Ever think of that? Yeah.
196
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:08,875
- I think I'm going to throw up.
- Do it all over his car.
197
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,752
Come on, ladies.
Where's the love?
198
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,922
We got to try to find it. This way, we're
never gonna make it to parallel parking.
199
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:15,965
OK, now throw it in neutral.
200
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,301
Step on the clutch with the left... Left!
201
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:23,056
Why would you cross over?
It's the left foot.
202
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,183
Right foot... that's it.
Keep it on the gas.
203
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,936
No, not on it.
Now, just keep hovering.
204
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,008
- After you.
- Thank you.
205
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,927
- Hey.
- Hey, welcome.
206
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,887
Hi.
207
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,432
- Stu.
- Thank you, Charlie.
208
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,144
- OK. Yes.
- This is Peggy.
209
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:11,104
And, Peggy,
you remember Marcy?
210
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,981
Hi, Peggy.
211
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,734
Peggy...
our real-estate agent.
212
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:19,654
It's not what you think, Marcy.
We're really more like brother and sister.
213
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:23,158
- OK.
- This place is absolutely amazing.
214
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,328
- Let me guess. 1956?
- Close. '57.
215
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:30,331
- I'd love a tour.
- Be a pleasure.
216
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:33,918
Like the gal, Runkle.
Seems like a keeper.
217
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,921
Over here.
218
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,635
You're dating our realtor?
219
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:46,264
If by dating, you mean entering her
on a semi-regular basis, then, yes.
220
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:50,101
Delightful. I'm so glad to hear
the slut parade continues.
221
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:53,980
What? I don't deserve a little
post-divorce happiness? Excuse me.
222
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,316
We can't all have a rich boyfriend
with a legendary schlong.
223
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,693
Is it serious?
224
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:02,530
With Peggy? Who knows?
I'm taking it day by day.
225
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,617
Wouldn't want to rush into anything.
I likes me my freedom.
226
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:08,912
- Was that a jab at me?
- A little one.
227
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:12,123
I mean, this whole business with Stu sort
of came out of nowhere, don't you think?
228
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,876
I don't know what to tell you, Charlie.
The heart wants.
229
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,295
Well, this heart wants freedom
from responsibility
230
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,589
and an abundance of strange.
That's where I'm at.
231
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,887
OK, I'll be getting out of your hair.
232
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:29,557
That's OK. You could stay
the weekend. It's good for Becca.
233
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,559
- You sure?
- Yeah. I mean, that way
234
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:34,103
we get to make sure
that you go to court on Monday.
235
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,731
You see that?
You're always thinking about me.
236
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,692
Much appreesh.
Why don't I make you some dinner?
237
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,903
Well, there's an empty offer.
You can't cook.
238
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,572
Excuse me? What do you call
cheese sensation?
239
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,741
A coronary in a casserole dish.
240
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,410
All right, then you go ahead
and make something all organic
241
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:52,831
and healthy and vegetarian and shit,
and I'll pick out a movie for us to watch.
242
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,749
I'm going out.
243
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,002
- Out out?
- I guess.
244
00:13:58,045 --> 00:14:01,381
- Like out-on-a-date out?
- Dinner out.
245
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:03,299
Cool Hand Ben?
246
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:07,387
With Ben, yes, and if you're gonna give me
shit about it, you can leave right now.
247
00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:10,223
No, I won't. I have grown a lot
since breakfast.
248
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,602
So, are you guys, like,
officially dating now?
249
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,938
We're not officially anything
except friends.
250
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:20,149
Friends who go out
to dinner on a Saturday night
251
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:23,945
and you're all gussied up.
But that doesn't quite do it justice,
252
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:27,490
cos you look beautiful.
He's a lucky guy.
253
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,451
- Thank you.
- I wish I were him.
254
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:33,329
And not just because I always
wanted to be black,
255
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,623
or it'd be a nice escape
from being me,
256
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:38,835
which is getting pretty old
right about now,
257
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,379
but because it reminds me
of when we first started dating
258
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:44,132
and I would knock
on your door and in the...
259
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:46,301
time between you answering,
260
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:48,845
I would try to imagine
what you were gonna look like.
261
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:52,265
And when you did,
you'd be, like, ten times more beautiful
262
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,183
- than I could ever imagine.
- Stop it.
263
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,686
And I'd get this funny
feeling in my stomach
264
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,480
because you'd look at me
with all this hope in your eyes
265
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:04,569
instead of disappointment,
which is what I see now.
266
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,826
Yeah, like I said.
267
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,995
Lucky guy.
268
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,539
- What's up?
- Benjamin.
269
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,250
- Henry.
- Nice.
270
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,086
- Pearl, respect.
- Papa Moody.
271
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,714
Yeah, that still queers me out.
272
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:28,217
So, we shouldn't be,
you know, late.
273
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,846
Go have fun, you kids.
I'll keep an eye on these rapscallions.
274
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,223
Maybe they'd be safer
keeping an eye on themselves.
275
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:36,893
All right, well, then they can
keep an eye on me.
276
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,853
Hey, you ladies want
to do anything?
277
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:42,565
Who's up for a game
of hypodermic needle darts?
278
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:46,903
I said hypodermic needle darts
for the children.
279
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,323
Go on, ladies. Dig in.
280
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:54,369
This stuff will clog your arteries,
but it'll also put hair on your chest.
281
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:57,747
- You'll thank me later.
- Kind of looks like an autopsy.
282
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,416
Yes, but it tastes like America.
283
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,377
So what do you freaks want to do?
284
00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:04,045
Do you want to catch
a movie or something?
285
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,797
You want to get your
High School Musical on?
286
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:08,549
- Those movies are awful, Dad.
- Yeah, thanks for trying,
287
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,468
but that's not really
what the kids are into.
288
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:14,806
Tell me what the kids are into.
Take me to school, ladies.
289
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:17,725
Pretty much getting fucked up
and searching the net for stupid shit.
290
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:21,062
That sounds pretty good.
That sounds like the modern equivalent
291
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,856
of hanging out in front of the 7-Eleven
and waiting for something to happen,
292
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,858
which I did the shit out of
in my youth,
293
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,152
but I can't endorse in you youngsters.
294
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:31,489
How about some...
American Idol?
295
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,824
- Dad...
- What?
296
00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:35,952
Do we look like the kind of girls
who are into American Idol?
297
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,912
No, not so much.
298
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,081
Actually, you look like girls
who would hurt girls
299
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:43,084
- who are into American Idol.
- He gets us.
300
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,920
Actually, we were just gonna
hang out and write a song.
301
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,673
That sounds totally cool.
302
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,883
- Can I watch?
- No.
303
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:54,554
Yeah, that's not cool.
You can't write in front of an audience.
304
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,514
We'll play it for you
when we're done.
305
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:59,475
Excellent. That's a deal.
306
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,232
This is not my best batch.
307
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:10,653
- Yeah, it kind of tastes like ass.
- Not the good kind either.
308
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:34,802
Come on. Let's go.
309
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,763
And that, my friends,
310
00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:40,183
is the real reason Midnight Cowboy
was given an "X" rating.
311
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:43,102
Fascinating stuff, Stu.
You should really write a book.
312
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:46,397
- I could sell that shit in a heartbeat.
- No, no. Enough about me.
313
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:50,568
I believe my dear Marcy
has something she would like to share.
314
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:54,280
Oh, no. Tell 'em the one
about Marisa Tomei
315
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,783
and what she really did
to get that Oscar.
316
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,993
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Enough about the past.
317
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,079
Let's talk about the future.
318
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:03,372
This is a night
to celebrate beginnings.
319
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,168
Don't you think, Marcy?
Beginnings?
320
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,170
Would anybody like more wine?
321
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,255
- No, no.
- No.
322
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:13,257
OK.
323
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:24,393
Life is a fucked-up thing.
Shit happens.
324
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:27,396
One day you're up
and another you're down.
325
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,148
- Marcy? Marcy?
- What?
326
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,525
- The wine.
- What?
327
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:31,692
Wine.
328
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:34,237
- The baby!
- Jesus!
329
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,536
What are you looking at?
330
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,871
Apparently, I'm looking
at a pregnant woman.
331
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:47,208
- I'm so sorry, Marcy.
- No, it's fine.
332
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,252
OK, so now you know.
333
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:52,130
Stu done knocked me up.
I am indeed with child.
334
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,465
- Shout it from the rooftops.
- Are you keeping it?
335
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:57,552
What the fuck kind of
question is that? What?
336
00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:00,263
Of course we're keeping it.
The Beggs name will live on
337
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:03,516
thanks to the welcoming confines
of Marcy's blessed womb.
338
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,643
How is this even possible?
339
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:09,063
Charlie, we wanted to let you know
before you found out somewhere else.
340
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:12,066
- It just seemed like the right thing to do.
- Well, that was quick.
341
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,985
Who knew you were such
a Fertile Myrtle, Marce?
342
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,945
You don't seem exactly happy
for us, Charlie.
343
00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:18,364
Me? I'm ecstatic.
344
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,449
Why shouldn't I be happy
that my ex-wife
345
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,452
and her new boyfriend of six weeks
are expecting a child?
346
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:25,580
Mazel fucking tov. Really.
347
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,096
Hey, Becca,
will you get that?
348
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,557
Becca?
349
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,023
Hello?
350
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:59,197
Becca? Becca?
351
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,033
Becca.
352
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,001
You OK, Pearl?
353
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,878
Pearl!
354
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,047
Pearl.
355
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,675
- Baby.
- You OK?
356
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:22,511
You're OK? You sure?
357
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:28,226
- What the fuck happened?
- They took my keys and snuck out.
358
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:30,144
I thought you were
keeping an eye on them.
359
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,646
I dozed.
360
00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:33,981
Which has nothing to do with the booze
on your breath, right?
361
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,567
Well, I detect a faint hint
of cock on your breath,
362
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,861
but I'm not giving you a hard time
about it, am I?
363
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,030
It was our fault, OK?
It was our fault.
364
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,741
We would have tried the same thing
if my mom was there.
365
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,326
It's true. They would have.
366
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,828
You defending him now too?
367
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:50,998
I'm not defending anyone.
I'm just glad they're alive.
368
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,752
Let's go, Pearl.
369
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:58,381
We're gonna go home.
370
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:03,261
At least I don't have to worry about
fixing that headlight any more.
371
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,723
Did I do something wrong?
372
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,852
OK.
373
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:21,195
You still have feelings
for her, don't you?
374
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:23,072
That's what you're mad about?
375
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:26,575
I saw the way you looked at her
when you found out she was pregnant.
376
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:31,038
Look? There was no look. I was...
I was taken aback, that's all.
377
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:34,208
I can't fuck a man who's in love
with another, Charlie.
378
00:21:34,251 --> 00:21:36,919
I can't do it.
I won't do it.
379
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:41,549
Peggy. Marcy and I have a long,
complicated history together.
380
00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:45,720
I can't just turn off my emotions
like flipping a switch.
381
00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:48,556
Do you want a child, Charlie?
Is that what this is about?
382
00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:50,474
No!
383
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:53,102
Maybe. I don't know.
384
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,771
You disgust me right now, Charlie.
385
00:21:57,774 --> 00:21:59,608
Are you barren?
386
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:01,485
I most certainly am not.
387
00:22:01,528 --> 00:22:03,738
Look, Peggy...
388
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:06,115
I don't know what's gonna be
with you and me,
389
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:09,702
but Marcy will always
have a place in my heart.
390
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,412
If you can't deal with that, then...
391
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:15,207
I don't know if this thing
between us can work out.
392
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,838
Oh, Charlie!
Charlie!
393
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:22,798
- Jesus Christ!
- Charlie, I'm sorry.
394
00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:26,010
I didn't mean to, really.
I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry.
395
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,095
What the fuck, Peggy?
396
00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:32,725
I know what will make it better.
Let me make it nice.
397
00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:37,146
You let Peggy make
the pain go bye-bye.
398
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:45,446
Oh, God.
399
00:22:48,825 --> 00:22:51,369
You forget your desserts.
400
00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:53,454
I put perfect.
401
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,957
Thank you, Irma.
402
00:22:58,835 --> 00:23:02,963
Oh, God.
403
00:23:04,007 --> 00:23:07,676
I'm warning you, tomorrow
I'm gonna be pretty pissed at you.
404
00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:13,307
But tonight I'm just high-fiving Jesus
that you're OK.
405
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:15,810
- I'm sorry about the car.
- It's just a car.
406
00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:19,647
- You love that car.
- No, I love you.
407
00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:21,732
I love you too
and I'm scared.
408
00:23:21,775 --> 00:23:23,692
Why?
409
00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:27,863
I don't want you to be guilty.
I don't want people to look at you that way.
410
00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:30,658
I want them to know
how great you can be.
411
00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:36,247
You shouldn't be thinking about that.
That's too much for your brain.
412
00:23:36,289 --> 00:23:38,332
All you should be thinking
about is boys
413
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:41,085
and rock'n'roll and stealing
your old man's car keys.
414
00:23:41,128 --> 00:23:44,755
But not any more,
cos I'll chop your hands off, OK?
415
00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:46,966
It was a nice day, wasn't it?
416
00:23:47,008 --> 00:23:50,928
It was. It was really nice.
It was a perfect day.
417
00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:55,516
- Right up until I ruined it.
- You didn't ruin anything.
418
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:59,019
You just made a mistake,
a really terrible mistake.
419
00:23:59,062 --> 00:24:00,938
But we all do.
420
00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:04,525
Look at me. I take a breath,
I make a mistake.
421
00:24:04,568 --> 00:24:09,738
Then we just get up and shoot
for another perfect day.
422
00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:17,246
I'm going to be thinking
good thoughts, Dad, on Monday.
423
00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:24,295
Thank you.
424
00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:44,523
- How the fuck did we get here?
- I don't know,
425
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:48,235
- but I'm pretty sure it's your fault.
- Undoubtedly.
426
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:51,322
I am currently accepting blame
for everything.
427
00:24:51,364 --> 00:24:54,408
Volcanoes, earthquakes, oil spills.
428
00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:57,203
Steroids, rap music.
429
00:24:58,121 --> 00:25:01,540
- It's all my fault.
- You tricked me, you know?
430
00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,668
You tricked me.
431
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:09,798
I would hear the doorbell ring
and I would go running towards it and...
432
00:25:11,468 --> 00:25:14,303
I'd be thinking,
"I don't even like this guy.
433
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,514
"This is just some stupid fling."
434
00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:20,726
And then I'd open the door
and all those thoughts
435
00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:24,438
would disappear because...
436
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:28,234
I'd see your smile
and I was a goner.
437
00:25:30,820 --> 00:25:33,239
I trusted that smile.
438
00:25:33,281 --> 00:25:36,992
He was a good guy,
that smile.
439
00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:39,620
I don't see him much
around any more.
440
00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:41,580
I miss him.
441
00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:46,585
It's so strange.
Just changed so fast.
442
00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:50,464
Once, you were my future.
Then you were my...
443
00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:52,800
- misery.
- Nice.
444
00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:54,927
And now you're almost my past.
445
00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:56,845
Almost?
446
00:25:58,265 --> 00:26:00,724
- Well, I'm trying.
- Well, that's impossible.
447
00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:04,687
I'll always be buzzing around
like a gnat.
448
00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:07,648
Like a well-hung gnat...
with a dream.
449
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,653
You know what I mean.
450
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:16,073
Yeah.
451
00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:18,951
I think I do know what you mean,
452
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:21,537
and I kind of hate that I do.
453
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:24,957
Are you ready for Monday?
454
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,168
I don't want to think about Monday.
I just want to think about today.
455
00:26:28,211 --> 00:26:32,006
Well, today's gone.
It's tomorrow already.
456
00:26:32,048 --> 00:26:35,050
In a couple hours,
we'll get up.
457
00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:38,762
We'll drink some coffee,
read the paper,
458
00:26:38,805 --> 00:26:40,889
laugh at all your jokes...
459
00:26:42,559 --> 00:26:45,394
and try to forget that
the next day isn't Monday.
460
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:49,898
And then Monday will come
and we'll take Becca to school.
461
00:26:52,569 --> 00:26:54,903
Then I'll take you to court...
462
00:26:56,364 --> 00:27:00,034
so that you can stand trial
for raping a teenage girl.
463
00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:05,956
Because that is the reality
of our lives right now.
464
00:27:09,377 --> 00:27:11,712
I don't know how we got here...
465
00:27:16,259 --> 00:27:19,094
but this is where we are.
37055
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.