All language subtitles for Californication S04E08 [1080p] [x265] [pseudo]
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1
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,592
Previously on Californication...
2
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:12,761
We could actually use a lead guitarist.
3
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:15,014
- What do you call yourselves?
- Queens of Dogtown.
4
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,766
Shit. Fuck. The rabbit done died.
5
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,518
- So whose is it?
- I don't know!
6
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:21,228
- Charlie's?
- Fuck, no!
7
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,147
That kid's all snipped to shreds.
8
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,940
I've had a couple of vasectomies.
9
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,735
What exactly are you saying here, doc?
10
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,903
There still could be swimmers in his junk?
11
00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:32,322
How about you rewrite
the script that I loathe?
12
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,368
With Sasha's interest, we could be
at Sundance this time next year.
13
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:39,872
I'm trying to make the character a little more
likeable, cos on the page he's an asshole.
14
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:42,207
You understand that you are
kinda talking about me.
15
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,001
Wanna know how many
women I've slept with?
16
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,335
No. No, no, no.
17
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,504
I gotta get it up to 100.
18
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:50,382
I'm makin' my move.
19
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:51,633
I'm dropping out.
20
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:53,510
OK, so... no movie.
21
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:55,512
What's the good news?
22
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,890
The good news is that
I still wanna have sex with you.
23
00:00:57,932 --> 00:00:59,224
At least once more.
24
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,519
You know, that is pretty good news.
25
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,705
All right. You gotta stop that.
26
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,291
I'm serious,
I feel a hate crime coming on.
27
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,960
No, no, no.
Don't be hatin' on the good news dance.
28
00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:30,839
Does this mean what I think it means?
They finally came out with Spanx for men?
29
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,092
No, silly. That was months ago.
30
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:35,177
I'm wearing one right now,
as a matter of fact.
31
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,679
Yeah, yeah, firms my chest.
Flattens my tummy.
32
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:40,390
Here, here, feel.
You can do it, come on.
33
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:43,310
- Rock hard.
- I know, right?
34
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,562
I'm talking about myself.
I'm rock hard right now.
35
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,357
So am I! Get a load of this.
36
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,442
Sasha is back on board.
37
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,487
Sha-fa-tha!
Why? What? Why?
38
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,905
Eddie Nero's on board.
39
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,907
Well, that makes sense.
40
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,827
In a crass, sleazy,
opportunistic kind of a way. Sure.
41
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:04,331
Sasha Bingham is also starring
in Slowly We Rot - Deux.
42
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,416
Yeah.
That means nothing to me.
43
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:10,379
It's a zombie-cop-action-thriller.
First one did 274 domestic.
44
00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:14,216
Right on. Sounds like a shit sandwich,
but, hey, the girl's gotta eat, right?
45
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:16,468
- Good for her.
- No, no, good for you!
46
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:20,973
Because Sasha Bingham wants her one
Hank Moody on set to polish her dialogue.
47
00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:24,434
What makes you think that one Hank Moody
has any interest in doing such a thing?
48
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:29,231
They got 100 grand to spend
for one week's work.
49
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,441
A hundy large?
50
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,069
That is a most excellent
number of quatloos! Sold!
51
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:37,072
Good! Cos I already said you'd do it!
52
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,740
- Turn that over.
- Oh, yeah.
53
00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:41,285
- Gimme that.
- See, it's the good news dance.
54
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,503
Let me guess.
55
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,005
She's asking for you.
56
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,217
- Tell her to fuck off. I'm smoking.
- You want me to tell her that?
57
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:41,011
Fuck it. I'm comin'.
58
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,305
The things we do for quatloos, huh?
59
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,890
You don't get paid.
60
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,892
First team is ready.
61
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,018
Action!
62
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,858
Die! Die, motherfucker, die!
63
00:03:56,861 --> 00:04:01,323
And cut. All right,
let's go again right away. Reset.
64
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,741
Really? Don't you have it already?
65
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:07,412
If I had it already, you'd be second-guessing
me from down here instead of up there.
66
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:10,082
Hank, can you pitch me
a bunch of alts for this scene?
67
00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:12,167
I don't think my character
would say this shit.
68
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,920
First of all, who says
it's your fucking character?
69
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,840
And secondly, I don't give a fuck.
70
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:20,842
Say the line. Don't say the line.
71
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,262
I'm going Alan Smithee on this bitch.
72
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,098
I can't work like this. Get me down.
73
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,809
Let's go again, OK? Right away, right?
74
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,018
And... Everybody!
75
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,228
And action!
76
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,856
Suck my dick, asshole.
77
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,984
Cut. Get her down.
78
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:42,239
- Got 15 minutes, OK?
- I don't want 15 minutes. I wanna go home.
79
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,284
You're telling me? Fuckin' sequels.
80
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:56,044
Quick. We have 15 minutes.
81
00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:59,047
- Well, not too quick.
- I thought you wanted to work on the scene.
82
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,133
Please. There is no fixing that thing.
83
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:04,136
I just wanted to play.
With you.
84
00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:08,056
Again? I'm still a little sore
from this morning's playdate.
85
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,641
Pussy.
86
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:13,186
You know, I'm a writer, Sasha,
not a fuck toy.
87
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,605
Don't look now,
but your manpon string is hanging out.
88
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,734
You see that? You're funny.
You can write your own stuff.
89
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,485
Of course I can.
90
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:23,071
But it's so lonely.
91
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:28,785
No. No. You're not answering that.
Don't do it.
92
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,495
You're answering it.
93
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,080
I'm hating you right now.
94
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,416
You know, I don't like you
when you're working.
95
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,251
Just sayin'. Hello?
96
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,211
What?
97
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,421
Fuck me.
98
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:42,883
OK. Just cut her off,
and I'll be there as soon as I can.
99
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:44,968
Fuck.
100
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:48,221
- Where are you going? You can't leave.
- My kid. She's up to no good again.
101
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:52,267
- I gotta go deal with her.
- No, no. You have to take care of this kid.
102
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,353
You're bought and paid for, Moody.
103
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:09,284
Now, there's that writer's mind at work.
Now we're talkin'.
104
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:12,496
Get your freak on, Officer.
105
00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:22,672
No. Where the fuck are you going?
106
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:25,050
This isn't funny, asshole.
107
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,551
Fuck.
108
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:49,157
You know, Bex, you're really making me
regret ever signing you up for guitar lessons.
109
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,036
I only ever did it
because you wanted me to.
110
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,330
Really?
It seemed to me you were pretty into it.
111
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:58,375
Yeah, I'm just trying
to make you feel bad.
112
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,837
Well played, young lady.
Well played.
113
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:04,339
Really partying like a rock star
these days, aren't ya?
114
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,757
Oh, yeah.
115
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,844
I'm a fuckin' rock star, all right.
116
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:12,264
Can't even convince a boy
to let me give him a blow job.
117
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:17,060
- Becca...
- What?
118
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,438
I'm not allowed to be honest?
119
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,731
Isn't that the Moody family thing?
120
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,359
Our most prized virtue?
121
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,278
The honesty.
122
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,573
Go ahead, be honest.
Give your father a massive coronary event.
123
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:33,702
- I'm not a happy camper, Dad.
- Really? I hadn't noticed.
124
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,954
I don't like how things are changing.
125
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,415
You're never around.
126
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,251
But I'm not sure I even miss you.
127
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,630
I'll always be your father.
128
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:48,008
No duh, Dad.
129
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,302
But what the fuck does that mean?
130
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,473
And you know what really scares me?
131
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:55,765
What?
132
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,268
I like being fucked up.
133
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,353
Now more than ever.
134
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,106
Is that a kid thing...
135
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,734
or a genetic thing?
136
00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:08,862
Cos I'm starting to get it now.
137
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:12,532
Things are way funnier when I'm high.
138
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:17,078
And the sad stuff is just...
way less sad.
139
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:19,039
It's almost...
140
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,291
romantic.
141
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:25,545
- Are you OK?
- I'm fine.
142
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:28,089
What is the big fucking deal?
143
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:31,593
I mean, it's not like I haven't
done this before, twi... once.
144
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,887
In college.
145
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,472
Right.
146
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,557
So let's talk about something else,
147
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,268
something pleasant,
something with...
148
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:43,480
rainbows and... unicorns.
149
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,774
Stu asked me to move in with him.
150
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:48,610
He did?
Well, I mean, that's exciting.
151
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,820
- Have you met Stu?
- No.
152
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:54,074
- Because you won't let me.
- Yeah, because you'll judge me.
153
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,492
That's ridiculous.
154
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,662
I've been judging you for years.
155
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,331
Jesus!
156
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,794
That's what you call a late-term abortion.
Is that shit even legal?
157
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:09,673
Marcy, I don't think
everyone is here to have an abortion.
158
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,175
You never know, Karen.
159
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:16,221
Just because we have a black president,
doesn't mean we talk about that shit.
160
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:20,225
- She looks so happy.
- Yeah, she does.
161
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,143
I have never been that happy.
162
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:25,230
Just because she doesn't
know what's ahead of her.
163
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:28,817
Well, what if this is it?
164
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:32,028
What if this is my last chance
at being truly happy,
165
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,823
and I'm just snuffing it out
because it's inconvenient?
166
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:37,534
Marce, you know what?
167
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,995
You've changed this appointment
a bunch of times.
168
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:44,916
I think you need to face the fact that there's
a part of you that wants to have a baby.
169
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,627
But that's the thing - I don't.
170
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:52,257
I hate kids. They're annoying little shits.
It's a terrible burden.
171
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,969
Runkle?
Marcy Runkle?
172
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:59,180
- What do you want to do, baby?
- Marcy Runkle?
173
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:01,099
Marcy Runkle?
174
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,117
Look at you.
175
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:24,205
You're such a regular, you just walk on in,
they slide your drink, no questions asked?
176
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,875
Membership has its privileges, lady.
177
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:30,045
And I have no shame.
I need this drink.
178
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,464
And I will need another shortly thereafter.
179
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,549
Bad day?
180
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,676
Medium shitty, yeah.
181
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,053
I hear that.
182
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:41,264
No stranger to misery, are you?
183
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,892
I like that in a woman
sitting alone at a bar.
184
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,894
Tell me all your troubles.
185
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:49,272
- Tell me what ails you.
- No. It's just a bunch of boring kid stuff.
186
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,692
- I got some of that shit too.
- That's not a line?
187
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:56,696
No, no, no. I got plenty of boring, angsty
kid shit that keeps me awake at night.
188
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,074
At least, until I pass out.
189
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,494
Boy? Girl?
190
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,579
"Girl" makes it sound so pleasant.
191
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,290
I have one big pain-in-the-ass
teenage daughter.
192
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,876
Oh, my God. That's the worst.
193
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,586
Word.
194
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,048
Well, here's to...
195
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,508
difficult daughters.
196
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,510
Cheers.
197
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,428
And...
198
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,639
Here's to mothers
who drink with strangers.
199
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,766
Cheers, cheers.
200
00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:00,427
- Good evening.
- I'm sorry. The gate was open.
201
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:02,929
No, I'm sorry.
About everything.
202
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,682
- I'm Peggy, your real estate agent.
- Right, right.
203
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,475
Marcy says nice things about you.
204
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,395
Well, I'm not sure she will any more.
205
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,316
- Why's that?
- Well, don't kill the messenger, but...
206
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:19,154
- the house has fallen out of escrow.
- Of course it has.
207
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:21,823
- The buyers couldn't get a loan.
- Of course they couldn't.
208
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,451
Looks like it's time
to put it back up on the market.
209
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:27,954
OK. Well...
210
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,956
I'll talk to Marcy...
211
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,167
and we'll get back to you.
212
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,543
OK.
213
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,466
What adult film were you watching?
214
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,677
Excuse me?
215
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,721
You were watching pornography,
weren't you?
216
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:48,683
- I was. Yes.
- What kind?
217
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,354
- You must think I'm such a slut.
- No, no, no. Not at all.
218
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,398
You must. Call me one. I insist.
219
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,733
Oh, you like that?
220
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,652
OK. You're such a fucking slut.
221
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,029
What the fuck?
222
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:04,449
- You can choke me if you want to.
- No, no, I'm really not into that.
223
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,076
I had a bad experience
with autoerotic asphyxia recently.
224
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,578
Really? Tell me all about it.
225
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:12,165
- Some other time, OK?
- I just wanna feel something!
226
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,336
Pretend my father
could walk in at any second.
227
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,797
- But this is my house.
- Just pretend!
228
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:20,256
OK, OK, OK!
229
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,467
I think I hear your father in the hallway.
230
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:27,722
Oh, no, I wanna stop, but I can't!
Your big black cock feels so good!
231
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:31,935
Yeah? That's him. There he is.
I see him coming in the room.
232
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,771
Daddy, no! I'm a big girl now.
233
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,315
- Is he still here?
- No, he went to get his gun.
234
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,947
He's gonna kill both of us, Charlie.
235
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,991
Daddy doesn't like it
when I fuck the slaves.
236
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,917
God, that was fucking intense.
237
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,419
I almost wanted to fuck you to death.
238
00:13:58,462 --> 00:14:00,255
But in a good way, you know?
239
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,887
Yes.
240
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,973
You know what I like about you?
241
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:15,979
I mean, aside from the fact that you're like
seven different kinds of naked right now.
242
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:18,565
Oh, my God!
243
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:21,317
Do you have any idea
how nice that sounds?
244
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,320
Do you know how long it's been
since a guy has said that to me?
245
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:27,574
Sorry, go ahead. What were you gonna say?
What do you like about me?
246
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,659
You're very age-appropriate.
247
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:35,748
You really know how to piss
all over a girl's happy buzz.
248
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:39,669
No, that's a good thing. I think it means,
maybe, I'm growin' the fuck up.
249
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,172
That's very good for you.
250
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:50,597
But I am leaving for New York
in a couple days.
251
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:54,017
I didn't mean to suggest
that we had a future or anything.
252
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,394
You really are quite the romantic,
aren't you?
253
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,605
Fuck. Everything's coming out
wrong this morning.
254
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:02,108
I know. Next you're gonna say something
less than flattering about my ass.
255
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:06,195
Nope. No way.
That thing is bullet-proof.
256
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,740
That is an ass wrapped in Kevlar.
257
00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:12,285
If you said to me, "Hank,
all you can do right now is eat that ass",
258
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:15,121
I would put on a lobster bib
and eat that ass.
259
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,415
For hours. With gusto.
260
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,627
Thank you.
My ass thanks you.
261
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,337
Your ass is welcome.
262
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:27,091
And don't worry...
I had a little bit of fun.
263
00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:29,510
A little bit of fun it was.
264
00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:33,640
And I think that we should do it again.
Cos, you know...
265
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:37,018
I'm here a couple times a year,
checking up on my daughter.
266
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:40,146
Yeah?
What does she do?
267
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,285
Not a good time.
268
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:57,080
Don't worry, girly man.
I'm all about the work right now.
269
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:59,832
Yeah, well, I've kinda got some... company.
270
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:05,338
I see. It's cool.
I know we're not exclusive.
271
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:09,175
- I see other people too, you know?
- Yeah, well, I know that.
272
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,469
'Course you do.
273
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:16,015
- Yeah, but like... how many?
- I'm not some big fucking slut, Hank.
274
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,393
Oh, no, I'm not judging.
I'm just curious.
275
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,271
- Well, I did sleep with Eddie Nero.
- Gross!
276
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:25,066
That is disgusting.
He poops on people.
277
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,485
And he took a man in his mouth once.
278
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,366
OK, come on.
I need to go over today's pages.
279
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,994
I can't say this shit.
It's all exposition.
280
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:42,041
I'm gonna give you my notes, then I have
to go meet my mother for breakfast.
281
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,669
- Your mother?
- Yeah, she's in town from New York.
282
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:48,548
She comes in every once in a while to check
on me and make sure I'm grounded.
283
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,466
Your mom.
284
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,554
Are you having a stroke?
285
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,889
You sound kind of retarded all of a sudden.
286
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:59,475
- Mama.
- I say we go once more, cos, you know,
287
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:02,937
I do not think that I sucked
enough of your dick last night.
288
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,357
- Sasha!
- Mom?
289
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,777
- Mom?
- You fucked my mom?
290
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,782
Dude! That was seriously uncool!
291
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,579
I think I...
I gotta go after her.
292
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:24,083
- You better put on some clothes first.
- Oh, shit! Good idea.
293
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,754
How do you know my daughter?
294
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:30,423
- I'm kinda writing something for her.
- Poor baby.
295
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,967
Yeah, it turns out she's really quite
the fucking diva, huh?
296
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,387
No, poor baby her.
It doesn't matter how old you get,
297
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:40,058
it's always gonna be really weird
to see your mother in a sexual situation.
298
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:44,103
Especially when you've already been with
the awesome dude your mom just boned.
299
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,355
- Right.
- Yeah.
300
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,443
- What?
- What?
301
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,988
Did you just say what I think you said,
which is that you slept with my daughter?
302
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:56,324
- No, no, no!
- No, you're lying now, because you did.
303
00:17:56,366 --> 00:18:00,620
You misunderstood. I was merely
talking about writers and actresses,
304
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:05,291
and Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller,
and how that shit never seems to work out.
305
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:08,377
She's a fucking kid!
You fucked my fucking kid.
306
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:11,297
That's not very age-appropriate,
now is it, you asshole?
307
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,007
Touché.
308
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:22,475
Sasha, dear. Hello!
Can you come out and play?
309
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:25,144
It's quite warm out here.
Do you know why?
310
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,189
Because we're burning money.
It's a bonfire of cash.
311
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,652
I'm fucked.
My career is over.
312
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:35,738
Settle down, Alfred Bitchcock.
Let me try.
313
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,907
You didn't sleep with her, did you?
314
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,410
No way.
That's what the extras are for.
315
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:44,664
Sasha!
It's Henry Moody.
316
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:46,541
The writer. Remember me?
317
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:51,796
The polisher of your crackling exposition.
I'd like a word with you, please.
318
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,714
One word.
319
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:03,307
If it's any consolation, your mother smacked
me upside the head pretty good.
320
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,893
And my balls are killing me.
321
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:10,148
- I'm just grossed out right now.
- Well, that's pretty normal.
322
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:12,859
How would you know?
323
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:16,362
I once bumped uglies
with my daughter's boyfriend's mother.
324
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,157
That was a terrible time.
We got through it, though.
325
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:20,783
This too shall pass.
326
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:24,745
- Do you know what the worst part is?
- No. But tell me.
327
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,543
I was really starting to like you.
328
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:34,213
Well, despite the fact that I am
this swirling black hole of chaos,
329
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,424
I am pretty fucking awesome sometimes.
330
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:43,514
- Best sex of my life.
- Really? Better than Eddie Nero?
331
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,892
- Weirdest sex of my life.
- I don't wanna know.
332
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:48,895
- Do I?
- No. You don't.
333
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:51,272
I'm still haunted by it.
334
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,900
- The things he made me do.
- Jesus.
335
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:57,236
Don't blame your mom...
because she didn't know anything,
336
00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:00,072
and don't take it out
on these good people out there.
337
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,909
They work their fucking asses off.
You should be happy.
338
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:05,870
You're Sasha fucking Bingham,
America's sweetheart,
339
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:09,624
the girl next door, the dirty girl next door.
That's the bestest kind.
340
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,633
- Weird?
- Oddly, no,
341
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:21,469
but I'm really good
at compartmentalising shit.
342
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,644
You are one dirty cop.
343
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:34,232
Sometimes I hate my conscience...
344
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:39,153
...but right now it's telling me
that this may not be the best idea.
345
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:42,490
Yeah? Well, it's the only way
you're gonna get me back out there.
346
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:45,076
Oh, well. In that case...
347
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,508
Well...
348
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,346
This is a fine how-do-you-do.
349
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:18,234
We need to talk business, Marcy.
350
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,443
What?
351
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,196
OK.
352
00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:25,032
I mean, if you're gonna do it, just do it.
353
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:28,619
I'm a man.
Sorta.
354
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,746
I mean, I could take it. I think.
355
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,040
What the fuck are you talking about, Stu?
356
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:36,085
It's just you're so quiet,
and that is weird.
357
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:40,047
I mean, usually you're
yakking up a storm and...
358
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:42,842
...I've become quite fond
of that obscene verbal diarrhoea.
359
00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:46,929
That's lovely.
And disgusting, Stu. Thanks.
360
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:50,683
In my experience, when a woman
has run out of things to say to me...
361
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:54,020
Done.
Time to throw another ex-wife on the fire.
362
00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:57,189
I wasn't planning on
breaking up with you, Stu.
363
00:21:57,232 --> 00:22:00,067
Not any time soon, anyway.
364
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:03,112
Well, I'm guessing
you're not moving in with me.
365
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:08,576
Look, man, we could talk about
the "shacking up" shit later, OK?
366
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,749
But I do have to be honest with you.
367
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:18,085
- It's my penis, isn't it?
- What?
368
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:21,213
The size.
It hurts you, doesn't it? God damn it!
369
00:22:21,256 --> 00:22:22,381
No!
370
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:25,259
- Your penis is fine, Stu.
- Fine? Fine?
371
00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:28,304
Yes. Fine. In a good way.
372
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,972
In the best possible way.
373
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:33,225
I mean it. And I've seen some weird,
fucked-up wangs in my day,
374
00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:34,935
so good on you.
375
00:22:34,978 --> 00:22:36,687
OK.
376
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:39,940
Then honesty it is. OK?
377
00:22:39,983 --> 00:22:42,151
Come on, baby. Go for it.
I'm all ears.
378
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:48,115
I'm pregnant.
379
00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:05,758
Oh, God, Stu.
380
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:09,011
Please don't cry.
No. It's not what you think!
381
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:12,264
Not what I think?
It's not a fucking miracle?
382
00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:15,017
- Hardly.
- I'm gonna be a father!
383
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:17,228
No. Stu! Stuart!
384
00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:19,397
You are not letting me tell you
what's going on.
385
00:23:19,439 --> 00:23:21,774
You mean you're not keeping it?
You're gonna get rid of it?
386
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,901
- No. I'm keeping it.
- Thank God.
387
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:27,238
I thought about doing the deed,
but I couldn't go through with it.
388
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,324
- But there is just... other things.
- What?
389
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:34,453
- Charlie.
- Runkle? God! I didn't even think of that.
390
00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:37,456
Oh, my God, he must be so upset!
Poor bastard!
391
00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:39,667
Well...
392
00:23:41,211 --> 00:23:44,630
It's mother!
What am I gonna tell her?
393
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:46,966
I gotta tell her the truth, obviously.
394
00:23:47,008 --> 00:23:50,636
- Obviously.
- Hello, Mother? Guess what.
395
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,972
I'm gonna be a father.
396
00:23:53,014 --> 00:23:58,185
Yeah! Talk about
the goddamn Christmas miracle!
397
00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:13,701
Oh, boy.
398
00:24:16,246 --> 00:24:18,247
Fucking kids.
399
00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:23,836
- They're just a terrible burden, aren't they?
- Ever feel like you're losing the war?
400
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:26,839
Yeah. I think that
I'm in touch with that emotion.
401
00:24:26,882 --> 00:24:29,175
What the fuck are we supposed to do?
402
00:24:30,677 --> 00:24:31,969
Hope for the best...
403
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:35,681
plan for the worst, and...
set a good example.
404
00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:38,893
I don't know, just embrace the fact
we're all a bunch of fucking hypocrites.
405
00:24:38,935 --> 00:24:40,060
True dat.
406
00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:44,773
- I still hate you.
- I know, I know.
407
00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:48,194
But I need you right now,
because I'm in over my head
408
00:24:48,236 --> 00:24:52,364
- and I feel like I'm losing my shit.
- Honey. Come here. It's OK.
409
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,701
Listen...
410
00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:59,663
what say you to a couple
of room service burgers...
411
00:24:59,706 --> 00:25:02,041
and an $18 hotel movie?
412
00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:04,293
That sounds pretty fucking awesome.
Can I come?
413
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:07,880
- I'm not talking to you right now.
- Sure. I get it.
414
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:11,926
But if I were, I'd probably apologise
for my behaviour today.
415
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:17,765
Well, if you were actually speaking to me
and you actually said something like that,
416
00:25:17,807 --> 00:25:21,393
I might even respond
by saying that I deserved it,
417
00:25:21,436 --> 00:25:26,565
and maybe I'd even apologise
and say that I was sorry.
418
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:27,942
For everything.
419
00:25:27,984 --> 00:25:30,903
- Maybe?
- Definitely.
420
00:25:33,448 --> 00:25:36,408
- I'll see you upstairs.
- Yes. I'll be up in a second.
421
00:25:46,836 --> 00:25:49,088
You know, it's funny.
422
00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:51,632
It doesn't matter how rich, how famous,
423
00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:55,386
they're all just little kids who need
their mommies and their daddies.
424
00:25:55,428 --> 00:25:57,763
Here's hoping.
425
00:25:57,806 --> 00:26:01,183
And I know I don't really
know you that well, so...
426
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:03,602
this might be out of line,
but I'm gonna say it anyway.
427
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:05,521
- You don't have to.
- I'm gonna.
428
00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:07,273
- All right.
- You...
429
00:26:07,315 --> 00:26:11,860
are coming dangerously close
to the point of no return.
430
00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:13,946
What does that mean?
431
00:26:13,989 --> 00:26:16,240
This thing that you got going...
432
00:26:16,283 --> 00:26:19,994
It's very romantic and charming
and certainly devil-may-care.
433
00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:25,124
But... it's last call, pal.
434
00:26:25,166 --> 00:26:28,002
You should get out
while the getting's good.
435
00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:31,422
What if it's already too late?
436
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,801
Well...
Could be. I don't know.
437
00:26:35,844 --> 00:26:38,971
Certainly doesn't mean
that you shouldn't try.
438
00:26:40,807 --> 00:26:43,267
Meanwhile...
439
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:46,812
Why don't you keep your grubby
fucking paws off my daughter, yeah?
440
00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:48,647
Yes, ma'am.
34722