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Previously on Californication...
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- My name is Hank.
- I know. Mia.
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This is Mia, Bill's daughter,
and this is Hank.
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- You two know each other?
- No.
5
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- She's 16.
- 16, wow.
6
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,517
It's not a memoir.
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It's a written account of
my sexual relationship with you.
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Written by me as a fucking novel.
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Even I'm confused,
and I stole the damn thing.
10
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:26,984
Didn't you get the memo?
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00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,820
I'm taking Fucking & Punching
all over this fair country of ours.
12
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,072
Coming soon to a super-sized
bookstore near you.
13
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,199
They came. The divorce papers.
14
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:37,286
I have said all along, I still love you.
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00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,830
Fuck your pussy.
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Oh, my back!
17
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:42,875
You OK?
18
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,710
- OK.
- What the fuck is this?
19
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Fucking retarded.
20
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:50,841
Retarded and sweet.
Just like you, Runkle.
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I can't believe
you slept with all of them.
22
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,598
Yes, I suppose I did.
23
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,059
So, what, you're saying we just
pack up and leave LA?
24
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The three of us
move back to New York together?
25
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,855
Yeah, end of the semester, whatever.
26
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What is it about New York, Hank?
27
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What do you think
you're gonna find there?
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Happiness.
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I'll be happy...
30
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finally.
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- Are you sure?
- Yes, of course I'm sure.
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It's what I want.
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I love you.
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Wherever you go,
there you are.
35
00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,911
Well, that is true, honey, but...
36
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,497
Why do you drink so much?
37
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,958
Are you punishing yourself?
38
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,377
Do you feel guilty about something?
39
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,882
I miss fucking you.
40
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,885
I miss it too,
but I just can't do that any more.
41
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,220
I don't care any more, Hank.
42
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:22,307
Our best days are behind us now.
You're just chasing the dragon.
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00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,893
We're never gonna live
happily ever after.
44
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:29,314
You're gonna die poor,
drunk, and alone.
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I was available, Hank.
Why didn't you love me back?
46
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Well, because I love her.
47
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You're my role model, you know,
48
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for men, for relationships.
49
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:44,496
What hope could I possibly have?
50
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,778
- Are you OK?
- I'm fine. I'm fine.
51
00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,238
What up, ladies?
52
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:23,160
- Your daughter has a question for you.
- All right.
53
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:24,828
Ask away, shortness.
54
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,956
What's that place, again,
with the really good bagels?
55
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,667
How soon they forget.
56
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:35,047
- Murray's, the answer is Murray's.
- Murray's. That's right.
57
00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:37,633
What about that other place,
on the West Side,
58
00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:39,927
we go for breakfast sometimes?
59
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,137
- Barney something.
- Yeah, Barney Greengrass,
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00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,806
where you may very well
have been conceived, young lady.
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00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:46,808
- Really?
- Yeah.
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00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:49,102
Actually, no,
it was the bathroom at CBGB's.
63
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Jesus Christ, boundaries, people.
64
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:55,442
Yeah, well, we went to the bathroom
at Greengrass the next day, if you recall.
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00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,946
And who's to say which
batch of seed took root, woman?
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00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,490
- This is true.
- And there goes my appetite.
67
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:04,534
We should maybe go pay a visit there,
to that shrine
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00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,036
to your vagina.
69
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,998
One of these days I'm going to start
talking openly about sex,
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00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,000
and you're not gonna like it.
71
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,086
Can you pass the orange juice?
72
00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:16,338
Of course.
73
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,474
Stop!
74
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,185
Come on!
75
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:34,356
This is fun. I'm gonna miss this.
I'm gonna miss you, man.
76
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,066
I'm gonna miss you too, vanilla sweetness.
77
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,068
No, I mean, I'm really
gonna miss you.
78
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,696
You are my best friend, Hank.
79
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,531
Why don't you just come
to New York with us?
80
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:43,949
- Really?
- Yeah.
81
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,325
You can be our houseboy, homeboy.
82
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:49,746
That would be fun, actually, yeah.
I could make you guys breakfast.
83
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:52,666
I could help Becca get dressed
and ready for school.
84
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,626
She's not a toddler, you fucktard.
85
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,754
I don't know.
I don't have any kids.
86
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,631
- Yet.
- What do you mean, yet?
87
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:03,302
- You've had, like, five vasectomies.
- Two, buddy boy, two.
88
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,971
And, you know, I think maybe
it might be time for a reversal.
89
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,974
I think I might like
to make a baby with Marcy.
90
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:12,811
Interesting.
Has Marcy shown any inclination
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00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:15,439
that she might want
to make a baby with you?
92
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:19,026
I have reason to believe she might be
open to such a thing. Yes, I do.
93
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:22,237
Would that be before or after
the divorce papers come through?
94
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,073
No, you don't know. We've been
getting along like gangbusters lately.
95
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,409
Really, I would say,
if I was a betting man,
96
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,619
that these two crazy kids
are gonna work it out.
97
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:33,081
Yes, we are back.
Up high. Give me five.
98
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,416
Way up, in the air.
99
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:35,917
- Up hi...
- Too high for me.
100
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,002
Yeah, OK.
101
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,046
Honey, I'm home.
102
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Hey, look what the cat dragged in.
103
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,470
Hi, Hank.
104
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:52,351
It's my favourite female novelist.
105
00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,311
Doesn't she look beautiful?
106
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:58,106
Yes, she does. Look at you,
all footloose and fancy-free and grown up.
107
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:01,818
Yeah, I'm glad I caught you guys
before you took off for New York.
108
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:06,031
So, what brings you to these fair parts?
109
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,616
The paperback is coming out,
110
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:10,327
and we're doing a little
signing-reading in Venice.
111
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,080
- I want you guys to come.
- God, would that we could,
112
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,791
but we have too much with the packing.
It's overwhelming,
113
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,460
and we got to set our affairs
in order, so to speak.
114
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:21,296
No, I... That's all taken care of.
115
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:24,257
I said yes already,
116
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,551
- that we'd go.
- Of course you did.
117
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:29,137
Well, and also, Mia wants to...
118
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,014
introduce us to someone.
119
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:34,101
A parole officer, perhaps?
120
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:37,312
A boyfriend, and it's serious, right?
121
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,398
Yeah, well, he is pretty great.
122
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,649
Is it love?
123
00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:42,984
Well, what does she know of love?
124
00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:45,612
She's far too young
to speak on such matters.
125
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,657
Too young?
Hank, didn't you get the memo?
126
00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:50,409
I'm totally legal now.
127
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:53,078
Good to know.
Man, this is gonna be just...
128
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:54,621
- way too much fun.
- Right?
129
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,457
Are you sure you don't want me
to stay home and watch Becca?
130
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,793
I don't deserve to have this much fun.
131
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:03,547
You know what? That's probably
Becca right now. We're coming.
132
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:04,840
Hello?
133
00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:06,550
Hey, sweetie, guess...
134
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,765
Well, much as I'd love
to stay and watch you squirm,
135
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,517
I got to get moving.
136
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,311
But I'll see you tonight, right?
I'm looking forward to it.
137
00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:19,980
So am I, so much so. OK.
138
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:24,151
And just so you know, after all this time,
you still make me a little wet.
139
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,612
Toodle-oo!
140
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,367
I'm shuttering the agency.
141
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,995
What? Why?
142
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:40,167
Yeah, it's time this old broad
hung up her dancing shoes,
143
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,169
time I kicked back,
144
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:46,715
relaxed, spent a little
quality time with my Dickie.
145
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:50,594
So many positions
left to explore.
146
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,974
And I have to work on this.
147
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,101
What am be dat?
148
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,728
My memoir.
149
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,193
I would love to read it sometime.
150
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:08,236
I want you to read it.
151
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,031
And then I want you to sell it.
152
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:14,618
That's right, Runkle.
I want you to be my agent.
153
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,828
What are you talking about, Sue?
You fired me.
154
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:18,788
Look, Runkle,
whether you know it or not,
155
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,999
you're a maverick, a renegade.
156
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,544
You beat off to the march
of your own drummer.
157
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,671
That's the kind of agent I want.
158
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:30,008
That's the kind of agent
I've always tried to be.
159
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:34,513
And in the meantime,
160
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,515
you can take me.
161
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,352
OK, I see where this is going.
162
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,187
You're dangling your memoirs,
163
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,397
which I know I can sell
the shit out of, by the way,
164
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,943
as an excuse to continue
our torrid little affair.
165
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:54,074
I don't see why the two
cannot peacefully coexist.
166
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,368
Because I love my wife, Sue.
167
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,328
We're on a serious upswing now.
168
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,373
And I am sick and tired of your
constant sexual harassment.
169
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:06,670
You say harassment. I say a couple
of big, juicy orgasms between friends.
170
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,713
All right, we'll have it your way,
171
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,924
completely professional.
172
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,511
- Thank you, Sue.
- Utterly boring.
173
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,724
Collini...
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00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,810
wet.
175
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,901
Love the writing,
176
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:32,362
so visceral and real.
177
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,531
Who are some of your influences?
178
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,200
God, there are so many.
179
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,744
But if I had to narrow it down,
180
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:43,039
I guess I'd have to say Bukowski...
181
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,876
- Nabokov...
- Stop it.
182
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,796
But I guess the writer
who really shaped me,
183
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,881
the one who was my last true influence
184
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,259
before I started doing this professionally,
185
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,553
that would have to be...
Hank Moody.
186
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,932
All right. Thank you.
187
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,435
I thank you.
188
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,897
You're so moody.
189
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,358
You must be Hank and Karen.
190
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,153
- Yes.
- Paul Ryder, Mia's manager.
191
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:16,281
- Hey.
- Mia's got a manager now.
192
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,949
What is this world coming to?
193
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:22,287
You'd be surprised.
Careers need guidance, nurturing.
194
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,164
- Sure.
- You hear that? Nurturing.
195
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,708
I suppose, if you're into that sort of thing.
196
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:31,296
I just wanted to tell you,
I'm a really big fan.
197
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:36,760
Anyway, Mia wanted me to invite you guys
back to the house for a drink.
198
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,053
- No.
- Yes.
199
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,013
You will. You will see us later.
200
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,306
- OK.
- OK.
201
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,224
All right.
202
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:46,603
- What the fuck is wrong with you, woman?
- He's a big fan of yours, OK?
203
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,396
It'll all be about you.
204
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,986
Do you want to bone?
205
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:59,240
Do I want to bone?
206
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,576
Does the Pope shit in the Vatican?
207
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,119
- In the woods.
- What?
208
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:05,789
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
That's the joke.
209
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,625
I know. I modified it.
That's what funny people do.
210
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:11,753
Whatever, dude.
211
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:15,715
You know, I have been thinking
about getting a reversal...
212
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,136
of my vasectomy.
213
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,223
- Why?
- Why?
214
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,975
In case I want to have kids one day.
215
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,561
Do you think that's a good idea?
216
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:33,066
I think...
217
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:35,944
- Shut up and fuck me.
- I can do that.
218
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,617
- Party people everywhere, raise the roof.
- Hi, guys!
219
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,828
- I'm so glad you could make it.
- You were great.
220
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,080
Thanks.
221
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,207
Thanks. Thanks.
222
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,001
- Did you guys meet Paul?
- Yes.
223
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,921
So where's the fella?
224
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:58,383
This is my fellow.
225
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,595
Your boyfriend is your manager?
226
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,479
So is there going to be a movie?
227
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,983
It sure looks like it.
We're talking to Evan Rachel Wood.
228
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:16,359
Oh, my God, that's awesome.
229
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,861
- She would be great.
- Rachel who?
230
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,447
- Yeah.
- The script's out to directors right now.
231
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,449
Did you write the script, sweetie?
232
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:27,245
Oh, no. Screenwriting's not really my thing,
too many rules.
233
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,621
I'll stick to fiction.
234
00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:31,249
Yeah, that's a good call.
You stick to fiction.
235
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,212
Yeah, well, you know, I think Evan
might be around here somewhere.
236
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,007
Do you want to meet her?
I'll introduce you guys.
237
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,967
- Oh, yeah, me too.
- Who?
238
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,595
Honey, OK, but I would like a kiss.
239
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,889
Kiss me.
240
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,558
- No, with lips.
- A strokey.
241
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,186
Not enough.
242
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:55,815
So...
243
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,693
- Working on anything?
- Oh, God, no.
244
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:01,571
Just mostly my tan.
I'm trying to get that all-over deal.
245
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,865
It's hard to get the taint
nice and golden, though.
246
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,742
I imagine so.
247
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:10,413
It's been a while, though,
since you had something out there.
248
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:15,126
Don't worry about me, buddy boy.
Worry about Mia.
249
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,961
I do worry about her.
250
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:21,132
She's having some trouble
with her second book.
251
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,427
- I'm not surprised.
- Why?
252
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,557
It's just that writing's hard, you know.
253
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,684
Writing's fucking hard,
wunderkind or not.
254
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:34,312
- Fuck, yeah, it's hard.
- Yeah.
255
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,981
That's funny,
because I thought you were meaning
256
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,777
it's because she didn't write
Fucking & Punching in the first place.
257
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:48,701
I don't know what you're talking about,
friend. That's between you and your client.
258
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:56,835
Her publisher asked her to write
some extra pages for the paperback.
259
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,838
She told me she couldn't,
too stressed.
260
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,841
So I took care of it,
managed expectations,
261
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,260
told them the road was taking its toll.
262
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,554
They bought it. No big deal.
263
00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:10,974
I had a feeling...
264
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:14,102
so I kept pressing her
to show me some more pages.
265
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:17,063
She finally did,
and they were rambling,
266
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:20,024
incoherent, pretentious.
267
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:23,361
Not the same voice
behind Fucking & Punching,
268
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,613
not even close, night and day.
269
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:28,533
So I start asking questions.
270
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,619
Didn't take long.
271
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,789
She broke down,
told me everything.
272
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,504
Everything?
273
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,884
Quite the literary scandal
we have here...
274
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:49,888
which is not a bad thing necessarily.
275
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:52,140
What the fuck
is that supposed to mean?
276
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,935
Think about it, Hank.
277
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,563
What if she came clean?
278
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,648
Told the story behind the story.
279
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:04,027
Her fame suddenly becomes
something else entirely,
280
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,987
something I can work with.
281
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,823
Who knows? Maybe she goes on Oprah,
a fucking reality show...
282
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:12,160
I don't know. I'm just spitballing here.
But it's better than fading away.
283
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,954
And best of all,
you get your book back,
284
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,706
maybe some infamy of your own.
285
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,627
The publishing world knows you
as this brilliant train wreck.
286
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,962
Let everyone else in on it.
287
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:26,507
I can get you a tell-all deal like that.
288
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,886
You think this shit is funny?
289
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,474
No, I think it's a fucking disaster.
290
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:38,728
My biggest client is a fraud. I'm trying
to make the best of a bad situation.
291
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,731
Fuck you.
You're trying to capitalise on a bad situation.
292
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:45,944
I know you're all pissed off at the world
right now, and you want to take it out on me.
293
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:48,863
But just remember, I'm not the one
that fucked an underage girl.
294
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,990
At least I waited till she was 18.
295
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:56,579
- Hey.
- Are you boys getting along?
296
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,456
Famously.
297
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,793
- Hey, sweetie.
- Isn't he a genius, Hank?
298
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,337
Oh, please,
I'm a mere businessman.
299
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,547
You artists are the real geniuses.
300
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,008
To Mia.
301
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,344
And to her greatest influence.
302
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:30,571
Yes, you certainly could be
in a lot of trouble.
303
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,866
- But I didn't know.
- Doesn't matter.
304
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,618
It's your word against hers,
305
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,830
and, sorry, but no one believes a word
out of your mouth.
306
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:41,082
I thought I was charming.
307
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,792
Not that charming.
308
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,464
- Hank!
- Hey. Whoa!
309
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,265
Karen!
310
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,851
- Hey!
- Come on. Stop.
311
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,811
Oh, Hank!
312
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:13,281
- Don't go.
- Don't leave. Stay with us.
313
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:15,575
- Becca!
- Stay!
314
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:24,584
Karen!
315
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,984
I think she's talking about Rexy.
316
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,403
Isn't that where she's like,
"He's just so stupid"?
317
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,243
Are you OK?
318
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:02,205
Yeah, no, I'm good. I just...
319
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,916
I didn't sleep very well last night.
320
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,667
OK, well...
321
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:11,506
Why don't you take this sourpuss
out for a walk or something, all right?
322
00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:14,592
I've got so much packing to do.
323
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,843
I'm so excited!
324
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,573
You know what I'm going to miss?
325
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,742
These walks.
326
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,912
When I think back on LA,
that's what I'll remember.
327
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,208
I'm sorry, sweetie.
Did you say something?
328
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,585
Never mind.
329
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:54,298
There's something I have to tell you.
330
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:56,342
Dad?
331
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,136
All right, go for it.
332
00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,429
I haven't told Mom yet.
333
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:04,350
For some reason,
I feel like I need to tell you first.
334
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,935
OK.
335
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,938
The other night,
when I slept over at Chelsea's...
336
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,064
Yeah.
337
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:12,233
- We snuck out.
- Becca...
338
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,278
It's not as bad as it sounds, Dad.
339
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,656
And wouldn't you rather
I be honest about this stuff?
340
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,617
Yes, of course. OK.
341
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,077
Go ahead.
342
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,455
So, we were just wandering
around campus,
343
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,916
and we met these boys.
344
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:32,128
- OK, now I'm vaguely nauseous.
- Just bear with me, OK?
345
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,547
Well, Chelsea immediately hooked up
346
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:38,593
with the dickish good-looking one
and spent the night in his dorm room.
347
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:43,848
I ended up sexiled with the nerd,
the Michael Cera type.
348
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:46,309
- Michael who?
- It doesn't matter.
349
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:49,353
The point is, we ended up
walking and talking all night long.
350
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,606
He was really sweet,
a total gentleman.
351
00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:54,567
All right, well, I like the sound of that.
352
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,987
He did kiss me, though.
353
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,614
Here comes another wave.
354
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:03,201
It was nice to have a boy
want to kiss you.
355
00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:05,745
He tried to go further,
but I stopped him.
356
00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:08,497
- That's my girl.
- He was totally sweet about it.
357
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,249
- OK.
- Very understanding.
358
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:13,419
- Sounds good.
- Heard me out, didn't push it.
359
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:14,712
That's great. All right.
360
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,298
- But we did it anyway.
- Right.
361
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,841
Wait, what?
362
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,302
What... You did... You did what?
363
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,597
Don't be mad at me, OK?
I don't know if I could take that right now.
364
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,266
We used protection.
He had a condom in his wallet
365
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,644
that he said had been there
since high school.
366
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:32,355
It wasn't love,
and it wasn't perfect or anything.
367
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,774
But I'm glad I did it.
I got it over with.
368
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,984
- But...
- And I wanted to tell you first
369
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,946
because I wanted you to know
that you didn't fuck me up.
370
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:43,282
My life is tough and weird
and unpleasant sometimes,
371
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,909
but I walk around knowing
372
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,453
that I have parents who love me,
who care about me,
373
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:52,124
who always try their best,
even if they screw up sometimes.
374
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,919
I know I gave you a hard time
when Mom was gone,
375
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:57,380
but I hope you know that I love you, Dad.
376
00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:58,631
And I always will.
377
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:09,183
All right.
378
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:14,230
Can you...
379
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:17,400
Can you wait till New York
to tell your mom about this?
380
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,902
- OK.
- OK.
381
00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:26,826
I'm a woman now, Dad.
382
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,053
You don't want to do this.
383
00:22:27,095 --> 00:22:29,555
- Do what, Hank?
- Come on, don't fuck with me.
384
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:32,350
You must have some idea what he's
thinking. Why would you tell him?
385
00:22:32,392 --> 00:22:34,101
Because I'm in love with him.
386
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:36,312
People in love
tell each other everything.
387
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:39,273
Well, maybe not in your case.
388
00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:41,859
Mia, you can do better
than this guy.
389
00:22:41,902 --> 00:22:43,027
You can.
390
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,321
Oh, yeah? Who's better? You?
391
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,448
This past year has been
a roller-coaster ride,
392
00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:49,575
and he's been the only one
taking care of me.
393
00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:51,952
Come on, I know you.
You're a mischievous little fuck,
394
00:22:51,995 --> 00:22:54,747
but you're not malicious.
Forget about me.
395
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:57,333
Think about Karen,
and think about Becca.
396
00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:00,544
This is gonna hurt them.
Is that what you want?
397
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:02,880
Look, it's my story to tell,
398
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:05,549
and my story includes the fact
that I seduced you.
399
00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:07,551
You didn't know how old I was.
400
00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:10,388
It's not like I'm going to
press charges or anything.
401
00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:13,557
You really think that matters at this point?
Karen loves you.
402
00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:15,893
She treated you
like you were her own daughter.
403
00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:18,020
And Becca looks up to you
like a big sister.
404
00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:25,611
It seemed like a good idea
at the time.
405
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:29,323
It doesn't feel so great, though, you know,
to be famous for no reason.
406
00:23:29,366 --> 00:23:31,742
Sometimes I can go along with it just fine,
407
00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:34,078
and I remember...
408
00:23:34,830 --> 00:23:35,955
Right.
409
00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:38,374
That's the thing about secrets, Hank.
410
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,584
They have a funny way of coming out.
411
00:23:40,627 --> 00:23:43,045
You OK, baby?
412
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,131
I'm fine, fine.
413
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:50,636
Can you just fuck off?
Give us five minutes?
414
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,596
Hank, it doesn't have to be this way.
415
00:23:52,639 --> 00:23:55,099
We could all just
put our heads together,
416
00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:57,643
figure out the best way
to approach this whole thing.
417
00:23:57,686 --> 00:24:00,938
I know you don't want to upset your family.
I'm sensitive to that.
418
00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:03,774
Really? Yeah, OK.
You're sensitive to that.
419
00:24:03,817 --> 00:24:06,026
You don't know anything about my family.
420
00:24:06,069 --> 00:24:09,280
No, not much. I'll admit to that.
421
00:24:09,322 --> 00:24:10,823
But from what I do know,
422
00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:13,742
you're not exactly the model patriarch.
423
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:26,505
Stop! Hank!
424
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,591
Hank, stop!
425
00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:30,509
Hank, stop! Stop!
426
00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:32,178
Hank!
427
00:24:36,766 --> 00:24:38,309
You're fucked, Moody.
428
00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:40,603
I'm calling the police.
429
00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:56,702
Hey, you!
430
00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:58,829
I'm almost done!
431
00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:02,666
Proud of me?
432
00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:07,004
Are you excited?
433
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:13,010
Oh, my God. What happened?
What the fuck happened to you?
434
00:25:13,053 --> 00:25:15,054
- I'm fine.
- Are you OK?
435
00:25:15,096 --> 00:25:16,347
- I got into a fight.
- What?
436
00:25:16,389 --> 00:25:18,224
- What do you mean?
- It's OK. I have...
437
00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:21,101
- Hank!
- No, it's... I just...
438
00:25:21,144 --> 00:25:22,978
What?
439
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:26,232
- I need to tell you something.
- OK. What is it?
440
00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:29,652
Hank?
441
00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:32,947
What? What could possibly be this bad?
442
00:25:32,989 --> 00:25:34,323
You look...
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