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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:03,252 Previously on Californication... 2 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,963 - Hey, I know you. Charlie Runkle. - Daisy. 3 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,133 - That's actually my ride. - You going to the set? I'll come with. 4 00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:13,429 Did you negotiate? Did you lay out clear rules for what you will and will not do? 5 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,723 - No. - That's it! Big, stop the van! 6 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,434 Get the fuck out! You're going too, sweetheart. 7 00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,561 Let's go! 8 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:26,275 Judas Priest, Hank. What are you up to? 9 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:29,069 I was hoping you'd finally make an honest woman of me. 10 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,280 - So you're pregnant? - Yeah. I am pregnant. 11 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,949 I think what you're saying, Sonja, 12 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:37,286 that Hank could very well be the father of the child, right? 13 00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:40,456 God, I'm sorry. I didn't want it to come out like this. 14 00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:42,875 - I made a huge mistake. - No. 15 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:45,586 Marrying Bill was definitely not the answer. 16 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,004 Don't. 17 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,673 Neither is marrying you. 18 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,508 I... 19 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,512 I can't stay. 20 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,221 Hey. 21 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,563 There you go. That's probably enough. 22 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,732 Gorgeous, huh? 23 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:54,404 And now let's check on those onnies that we've got going here. Yum, yum... 24 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,614 Hello! 25 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,159 You look like ass! 26 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,163 That's funny, cos I feel like ass! 27 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,874 Ass that's been rid hard and put away wet. 28 00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:08,377 Drink. 29 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,674 Revitalise! 30 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,722 - Jeez, that's full of vodka. - Yeah. 31 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,811 These onnies smell yummy! 32 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,648 All right. Let's put some more in there. Why not, right? 33 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,358 Everybody loves onions. 34 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,486 Tear, tear. 35 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:37,573 Sometimes these onions are just too much for this little gal. 36 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,491 Chloekins has a trick for everything. 37 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,577 Spesh, right? 38 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:45,330 There's something about her. I want to fuck her and punch her in the face, too. 39 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,291 It's weird. 40 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:51,628 You want to hate-fuck her. No worries. We'll get her for you. 41 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,548 - Get who for me? Chloe Metz? - I know people. 42 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,301 Yeah, I know people, too. They're not magicians. 43 00:02:57,343 --> 00:03:00,179 Well, you don't know the right people. 44 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:03,557 You're in Ashby's world now. Drink the fuck up! 45 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,894 Refresh yourself. 46 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,146 Baking's easy when you're Cooking With Chloe! 47 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:03,742 - Yo. - What are you doing here? 48 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,745 Come on. Quit acting like you're not happy to see me. 49 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:10,332 Hug back. Shower the people you love with love. 50 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,876 We don't care what the mean girls think. 51 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,837 - Is something wrong? - Why? It's Wednesday, 3pm, 52 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:19,466 close enough to the dot that I don't have to apologise for leaving you stranded. 53 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:22,427 It's Tuesday. Mom picks me up on Tuesdays. 54 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,554 It is Wednesday. 55 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,141 - No, it's not. - Really? 56 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:32,562 Cos I've got a serious hump-day vibe happening. You sure? 57 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,897 There's Mom. 58 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,776 - Shit. - Hi. 59 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:41,029 Hi to you on this... this is a beautiful weekday, isn't it? 60 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,365 - What are you doing here? - I was in the neighbourhood, 61 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,576 so I thought I'd grab a few minutes of father/daughter rapprochement 62 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,912 before you swoop by to pick the little monster up. 63 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:52,874 - So... you think it's Wednesday. - Come on. 64 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,209 I plead the Fifth. 65 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,795 Vodka. I can smell it on you. 66 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,589 You can't smell vodka. That's the beauty of it. 67 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,801 - Are you staying at Lew Ashby's? - For the time being, yes. 68 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,928 We haven't printed the announcements yet. 69 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,180 OK. Do you think that's such a great idea? 70 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:11,435 The road to Lew Ashby's house is paved with goodish intentions. 71 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,562 Thank you for asking. I'll be fine. 72 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,772 Hey, why don't you take Becca home? 73 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,775 You guys haven't hung out in a while, and you're here, so... 74 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:22,112 Well, Uzbekistan, you want to while away an hour with your old man? 75 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,782 Grab some ice cream? You down for some 31 flavours? 76 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,034 I'm not a child. 77 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:29,411 Well, I am, so I am desperately hoping 78 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:33,332 there's some "very berry" something or other in my immediate future. 79 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:36,376 - Into the chariot. - That's great. 80 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,170 Have a good time, sweetie. 81 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:42,049 - So, drive safe... - This sucks. 82 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:47,512 - Bye, Hank. - Goodbye. 83 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,681 Where have I heard that before? 84 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,768 Oh, yeah. I remember. 85 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,275 This sucks. 86 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,072 Great minds think alike. 87 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:13,830 Hello. Hot Lips. 88 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:18,919 No, I'm not a deep-voiced woman. I'm just helping my wife out. 89 00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:21,088 That's right, the masturbating agent. 90 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,215 Can I help you or what? 91 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,386 What, exactly, might that be? 92 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,138 Ouch. Hold on. I'm gonna have to ask. 93 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,016 Baby, do we do balls? 94 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,562 What the fuck is wrong with you? Got ladies present. 95 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:40,023 And no, sir, we don't do balls. 96 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,859 I'm sorry. We don't do balls. 97 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,073 Hey! Hey! It's Daisy! 98 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,117 Daisy, how you doing? 99 00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,327 I've been blackballed. 100 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:56,373 Is that an interracial tea bag kind of thing, or... 101 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,917 It's no one will fucking hire me! 102 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:03,171 Word got around what you did and now everyone thinks I'm a troublemaker. 103 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,382 Porn people don't like troublemakers. 104 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,468 They want you to hit your mark, suck your dick, then go. 105 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:12,180 Hey. It's gonna be OK. Don't cry. Don't cry. 106 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,392 - We'll, you know... - It may not look like much to you, 107 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,270 but I've worked really hard to get where I am. 108 00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,729 You don't need to tell me. I saw. 109 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:25,193 Jesus H, Runkle, you're supposed to be helping out, not causing a ruckus. 110 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,987 He ruined my career. 111 00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:29,364 He's good at that. Usually, his own. 112 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,826 What? Don't be hatin' cos I speak the truth. 113 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,661 You're supposed to support me. 114 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,664 And you're supposed to masturbate in the privacy of your own home. 115 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,332 What are you, 14? 116 00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:42,377 You can't keep your hands off your dick for like two minutes? 117 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,588 Come here, Daisy. 118 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,423 Buck up. 119 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,883 It's like I told Charlie, 120 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:52,304 you could either cry like a bitch or smack a bitch. 121 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,889 So smack a bitch. 122 00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:56,391 Don't you think I've been trying? 123 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,767 I know, mama. 124 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,436 Look, this is on you. 125 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,272 Daisy's family and you fucked her shit up. 126 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,692 Marcy, it's really starting to burn now. 127 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,613 - OK. One second. - Thank you. 128 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:14,201 It's like I'm deforesting the friggin' rain forest back there. 129 00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,829 I keep expecting tree monkeys to leap out of her bush and attack me. 130 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,417 Fix this. 131 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:27,506 OK, do you smell that gorgeous aroma? 132 00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:30,008 That's what you're looking for. 133 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:33,595 Wait a minute. I know you. It's on the tip of my tongue. 134 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:39,518 And funny! You didn't tell me he was funny. 135 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,437 Chloe Metz. How the heck are ya? 136 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,440 A hell of a lot more impressed with Lew than I was a couple of hours ago. 137 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,775 Why? 138 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:49,611 Well, a few hours ago, you were this big. And now you're... 139 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,697 - You're this big. - Hey, watch it, pal! 140 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:56,201 I don't barf after every show just to maintain a size four! 141 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,288 Chloe's assistant is pals with Kenny's cousin. 142 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,040 Well, fuck buddies. 143 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,962 Let's just try to turn the volume down a little bit. 144 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,674 It just doesn't stop with this guy, does it? 145 00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:14,594 Lew told me your sad story. It's like you're laughing through the pain. 146 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,180 You poor baby. Come here. 147 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:21,977 Yeah, you take a taste of this. Here. Try this. 148 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,854 - It's gorgeous! - My God. 149 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:26,982 Yeah! 150 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,401 Oh, look. I gotta take this. 151 00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,570 Play nice. 152 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:37,909 - He's a sweetheart. - He's a prince among the non-princely. 153 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,828 So... 154 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,663 - Wanna fuck? - Yes. 155 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,542 Stir my gravy! 156 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,629 Yeah, fuck me with your half-black cock. 157 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,881 Oh, yeah! Come on. 158 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,091 Get the chocolate! 159 00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:56,344 - The chocolate! Get it! - Yeah, get the chocolate. 160 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,097 No, are you deaf? Get the chocolate! 161 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,225 Yeah. Oh, pour it on me. 162 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:06,980 Come on. Slather it on me. Make me your little cupcake. 163 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,817 Well, dig in! 164 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,614 Damn! That's damn good chocolate. 165 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:18,074 Thanks. I made it myself. 166 00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,452 None of that Hershey's crap for Chloe Metz. 167 00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:25,332 Well, come on! Breed me! 168 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,793 Yeah, make me your bitch! 169 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,712 Fuck me like I'm Al-Qaeda! 170 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,048 Oh, yeah! Yes! 171 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,216 Declaring Jihad on your pussy. 172 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:38,678 All right. What I can do to help? 173 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,180 You can be my agent. 174 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:45,435 Yeah, OK. You want me to fluff your co-stars while I'm at it? 175 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,603 I'm serious. 176 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:50,607 If I had a big Hollywood guy like you on my team, they would take me seriously. 177 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:54,819 Hey, I'm the fucktard who got you kicked off the slam van in the first place. 178 00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:57,072 I don't think those guys are too impressed with my shit. 179 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,615 Fuck the slam van. 180 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:02,494 I'm done with that gonzo shit. I need to move up in the world. 181 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:06,498 I need to work for the Vivids, the Digital Playgrounds, Adam & Eve. 182 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:09,459 - Is it hard to get those gigs? - Fuck yeah, it's hard. 183 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,211 I've been busting my nuts for weeks 184 00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,672 trying to get a friggin' meeting with Ronny Praeger. 185 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,549 - He's like the Spielberg of porn. - Never heard of him. 186 00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:21,471 You'd like Ronny's work, real artsy. Dolly shots and crosscutting. 187 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,015 He's doing this adaptation of Chinatown. 188 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,351 Only Ronny's calling it Vaginatown, 189 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,145 cos it's not the water that runs L.A. 190 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,022 It's the vagina. 191 00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:34,609 And I would be perfect for the sister/daughter. 192 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:37,070 And I'd get to act. I've always wanted to do that. 193 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,738 - Really? - Yeah. 194 00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:43,326 I don't see why emoting and getting stuffed have to be mutually exclusive. 195 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,829 So, what's happened so far? 196 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,248 Did you ever get in touch with this Ronny guy? 197 00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,291 Fucker won't return my phone calls. 198 00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:52,794 I'll tell you what. 199 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,630 I'm gonna call Ronny Praeger, see what I can do. 200 00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:58,341 - For real? - It's what I do. 201 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,301 I get people impossible meetings. 202 00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,095 That is so awesome. 203 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,266 And don't worry. I will blow you. 204 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,309 Or did you want my pussy? 205 00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,604 You look like you'd want my pussy. 206 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,773 That won't be necessary. 207 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:19,320 No, we're gonna keep this strictly business. I do not want your pussy. 208 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:25,243 I could tell you're one of the good ones. 209 00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,298 Am I the magician or what? 210 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,925 Man, you're like fucking Doug Henning. 211 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:44,053 - Only not quite so macho. - Yeah. 212 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:47,640 Where were you when I was 12, fucker? Imagine the possibilities. 213 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:52,228 Instead of whacking off to Farrah Fawcett, I could have whacked off on her. 214 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,941 Feeling better? You get the old lady out of your system? 215 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,109 I don't know, 216 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:01,488 but I discharged precious bodily fluids all over your spare bedroom there. 217 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:05,408 Yeah, a little bit of hate-fucking, always good for the soul. 218 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,076 Lew! 219 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:10,455 This man is gorgeous! 220 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,082 And this cock. 221 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:15,627 God, it's gorgeous. 222 00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:19,214 You could wrap it up and sell it at Whole Foods. Yeah. 223 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:22,425 - OK, so, what's next? - What do you mean, "next"? 224 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:27,138 Come on, fucker. I got all night, and I'm ready for a little f-o-n. 225 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:30,683 - F-o-n? - Yeah, "fun," but like a retard said it. 226 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,020 - You had to be there. - Yet, sadly, I wasn't. 227 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:37,524 Look, we're gonna have to catch you another time, sweet Chloe, 228 00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:40,693 cos, like, I got to hit the Troubadour and Hank's coming with. 229 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:43,446 The Troubadour. I'm down with that. 230 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,865 No, it ain't gonna happen. No tagalongs. 231 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:49,202 - Why not? - Because the words left my mouth. 232 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,329 Do I look like I don't mean what I say? 233 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,087 You know, we'll just do it another time, OK? 234 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,589 We'll catch you on the flip side. But we'll do it. 235 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,425 OK. Yeah, good. You've got my number, right? 236 00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:05,510 Well... 237 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,470 - Chris does. - Kenny's cousin. 238 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,347 Kenny's... cousin has got the number. 239 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:11,099 - All right. Cool. - Cool? 240 00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:12,308 On that note... 241 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:15,478 Well... So, who's gonna give me a ride? 242 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,231 Cos my B. F. F. Dropped me off. 243 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,150 Come on. It'll be fun, guys. 244 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,622 - I'm looking for Ronny Praeger. - You found him, but I'm late. 245 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:39,294 - Unless you're a money guy. Are you? - No, I'm an agent. I'm her agent. 246 00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,588 Then I'm definitely late. 247 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,631 Hey, I called. You said you had time. 248 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:47,385 Right. You've got some bit of muff that's gonna rock my world. 249 00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,554 Daisy. 250 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,850 She ain't right. 251 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,144 Well, hold on. You barely looked at her. 252 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:59,772 Listen. Katherine is an innocent. 253 00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:01,691 She doesn't have defences. 254 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,030 This chick looks like she just blew her landlord for rent. No offence. 255 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,824 None taken. I just did. 256 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,954 Anyway, I'm off to see Cassavetes. Sorry. 257 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:22,253 - Oh, well. We tried. - What, are you kidding me? 258 00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,839 I'm just getting started. 259 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,260 - It's up here on the left. Right there. - Wow, that? 260 00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,179 Yeah. 261 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:34,515 Your abode has a very June Cleaver vibe to it. 262 00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:39,479 You want to say "hey" to the beave one more time before I have to go? 263 00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:42,357 Ordinarily, but Lew here is on a very tight schedule. 264 00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:45,860 We can't keep the hair bands waiting. They're very excitable. 265 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,695 You know, so... 266 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:51,240 It was real, Chloe Metz. Real as in real. 267 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,743 - All right. Thanks. - It was really real. 268 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:55,870 None of that, mister! 269 00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,666 - All righty! - OK. 270 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,796 Hey, what are y'all doing tomorrow? Or Friday. 271 00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:07,173 You know, either way. We could hang. 272 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,675 I know you did it again! 273 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,468 Who the fuck is that? 274 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:13,221 - It's my stupid husband. - You're married? 275 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:16,432 - But that doesn't mean I can't still party! - No, yes, it does. 276 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,686 What? No! Hey, come on! Come on! Drive, bitch! Let's go! 277 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:23,064 What? Where are you going? 278 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:26,192 Where are you going? Come back! That's my wife! 279 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,152 You whore! Whore! 280 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,864 Where you been? 281 00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,450 Do I look like I shop at the friggin' Limited? 282 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,035 I had to borrow this crap. 283 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,538 This is not crap. You look beautiful. 284 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:42,667 - I do? - Yeah, actually, you do. 285 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:46,254 - Hey, Ronny. - Fantastic. You followed me here. 286 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,506 Yes. Yes, I did, cos I'm a man on a mission. 287 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,842 You need to have another look at Daisy here. 288 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,428 Don't kill my buzz. I just toked on a Cassavetes joint. 289 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:56,097 I know how you feel. I love Cassavetes. 290 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,641 - Sure, you do. - It's why I got into the business. 291 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,435 Ben Gazzara, Killing of a Chinese Bookie. 292 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:02,687 - That scene in the car. - Total darkness. 293 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,231 If I had to choose between a blow job and Cassavetes, 294 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,942 - I would choose Cassavetes. - I'd take the blow job. 295 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,987 So would I. But I'd be thinking about Cassavetes while I got it. 296 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:15,241 See, that's why I left all this Hollywood crap behind me. You know? 297 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,452 The shit they make is all about the surface. 298 00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:21,456 Porn is about the real. 299 00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:23,875 Vaginatown is gonna be my magnum opus. 300 00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:26,461 I want it to have the feel of There Will Be Blood. 301 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:29,297 You know? I'm really into period porn. 302 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,676 Not that kind of period porn, you know. 303 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:38,056 This is why you have to hire Daisy, man. Look at this girl. She's Katherine. 304 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:41,642 Do you think she arrived in L.A. All tarted up? She's from Long Island. 305 00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:47,440 She ran away from home, pregnant at 16. Sexually abused, am I right? 306 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:52,195 She came to L.A. Wanting to be an actress, man, stars in her eyes, all that shit. 307 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,864 - And then you know what happened. - She got crapped on. 308 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,116 Over and over again. 309 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,620 Can you tap into that, Daisy? 310 00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:06,542 - I don't know. - She can tap into that. You can. 311 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:11,756 It doesn't matter. The movie's not gonna happen anyway. 312 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,509 - The financing just fell through. - You're shitting me! 313 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,260 I wish I was. 314 00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:18,346 The moneymen don't support my vision. 315 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:23,601 Which I don't understand. The "wall of cocks" sequence alone... 316 00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,853 would have blown people's minds. 317 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,648 The "wall of cocks"... 318 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:39,450 I got something for you. How about I do both you guys? 319 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,829 Right here. What do you say? 320 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:45,498 - Too shy for that. - You're shy? 321 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:50,503 Then what about watching a little girl-on-girl? What do you say, sugar? 322 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,672 Do you want me to slap the shit out of you? 323 00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:55,091 - Come here. - What the fuck is wrong with you? 324 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,933 That's it! Out of the vehicle! 325 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,810 Yeah, get the fuck out. 326 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:09,188 - What the hell are you doing? - And you can't cook for shit! 327 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:12,859 That duck breast was drier than the freakin' Mojave, you lunatic! 328 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,069 You want to know who the fuck you're dealing with? 329 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,321 Chloe Metz! Yeah. That's who. 330 00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:20,825 Number two in households on the goddamn Cooking Channel 331 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:23,870 in homes all across fucking America, you motherfucker! 332 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,580 - Chloe. - Not you, Hank. 333 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:29,000 - Hey, hey... - Is that how you treat a lady? 334 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,715 What are you doing? You can't dump her here in the middle of the night. 335 00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:37,550 Yeah, she might rape somebody. 336 00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,720 Stop the car. 337 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:43,306 Seriously, Sam, stop this penis-mobile this instant. 338 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:44,891 - I'm gonna go back for her. - Why? 339 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,476 Despite all evidence to the contrary, I am a gentleman. 340 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:51,522 You just don't do that shit. This is not Mötley Crüe: Behind The Music. 341 00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:56,194 Whatever, dude. Look, I got places to be. 342 00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:58,487 Give Sam a call, you need a lift back. 343 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:03,284 But just you. That schizophrenic cooking whore... Not getting back in the fucking car. 344 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,368 You. 345 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:22,970 Hey, baby. How'd it go? You rock her world? 346 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,389 It went good, it went good. 347 00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:28,476 Yeah, I... I got Daisy the part. 348 00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:31,854 Hells, yeah! You got Daisy the part. 349 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,106 Cos that's how Charlie Runkle rolls. 350 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,776 There's a little hitch. It's just... a little one. 351 00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:40,071 I had... you know, 352 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:43,741 I had... I had to... invest 50 grand in his movie. 353 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,788 55. 354 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,208 Or... All right, 60. 355 00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,919 I had... I had... I had to. 356 00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:58,547 I had to invest 100 grand in his movie. 357 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:03,469 Well, fuck my rusty sheriff's badge. 358 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,640 OK. I'll see you at home. 359 00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:18,025 Things got a little crazy back there, huh? 360 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:20,695 Just your average, typical, everyday Wednesday. 361 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,823 Tuesday. 362 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:30,538 So, you have a significant other of some kind? 363 00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:32,665 Once upon a time. 364 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,458 Ah... 365 00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:35,793 "Ah"? 366 00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:42,133 Well, you screw like you're trying to get something out of your system. 367 00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:45,594 Man, if you threw down like that all the time, you'd be dead. 368 00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,638 Or have a very sore pee-pee. 369 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:54,854 - Kids? - What's with the 20 questions? 370 00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:58,065 - They were two questions. - Right. 371 00:21:58,108 --> 00:21:59,984 - So? - Daughter. 372 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:04,864 It scares the shit out of me to think that she might end up like you. 373 00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:07,366 I mean, no offence, 374 00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:12,913 but, you know, letting some guy order you off the TV like you're Chinese take-out. 375 00:22:12,956 --> 00:22:15,666 Is that really what it's come to mean to be a member of the fairer sex 376 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,877 in the city of angels, circa 2008? 377 00:22:17,961 --> 00:22:21,172 For someone as accomplished as you? 378 00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:23,549 You're Chloe fuckin' Metz. 379 00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:30,264 Fuck if I know. 380 00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:33,267 I'm just glad my kid's a boy. 381 00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:37,772 All right. That's a good-enough answer. 382 00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:43,152 I would never have guessed that you just gave birth, either. You are... 383 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,863 How do I put this delicately? 384 00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:47,531 ...tight for a new mom? 385 00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:52,703 You know what? 386 00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:55,539 I think that's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me. 387 00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:58,000 I'm not just saying it. You're like a newborn kitten. 388 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:00,211 Fuckin' A right I am. 389 00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:03,297 Not that I've ever fucked a newborn kitten. 390 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:07,593 - Well, I would hope not. - I'm taking an imaginative leap. 391 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:10,304 I kegel when I cook. 392 00:23:10,347 --> 00:23:13,391 OK, well, that's reason number 357 393 00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:16,435 to TiVo the shit out of Cooking With Chloe. 394 00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,816 Well, there's Mario. 395 00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:25,528 - You gonna be all right? - Yeah. 396 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:28,739 - Yeah, he's a pussycat. - I'd hate to see him when he gets mad. 397 00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:41,502 - Hey, baby. - You OK? 398 00:23:46,633 --> 00:23:48,884 Mario, this is Hank. 399 00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:50,970 Paisan. 400 00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:53,097 You want a ride? 401 00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:57,560 No. No. You and Mario go be together. 402 00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:51,030 - Hello? - Hey. 403 00:24:51,072 --> 00:24:53,824 - Can I talk to her? - She's out. 404 00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:56,452 - Don't say it. - On a date. 405 00:24:56,495 --> 00:25:00,206 Shit. Kick a guy while he's down, why don't you? 406 00:25:00,248 --> 00:25:01,957 It's OK. It's just the movies. 407 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,126 I'm gonna go get her in a couple minutes. 408 00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:07,171 Well, just... 409 00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:09,465 You know, tell her to holler back. 410 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,467 I will. 411 00:25:11,551 --> 00:25:14,595 Hey... You know, I wish you'd seen her. 412 00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:17,389 She looked so cute. She was really nervous. 413 00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:21,143 Yeah. What shade of black did she go with? 414 00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:23,646 Oh, don't worry. She looked beautiful. 415 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:27,274 I'm sure she did. She takes after her mother that way. 416 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,736 Someone's sounding lonely tonight. 417 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:31,946 Always. 418 00:25:33,990 --> 00:25:35,366 What are you up to? 419 00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:43,707 Nothing. Just... reading. 420 00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:46,335 Well, sleep tight. 421 00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:48,963 You too. 31098

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