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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,668
Previously on Californication...
2
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:04,378
- Father?
- Daughter?
3
00:00:04,421 --> 00:00:06,463
Why is there a naked lady
in your bedroom?
4
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,924
Revenge? What are you
talking about, revenge?
5
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:12,720
Do not make it like it wasn't the least
bit satisfying to fuck the wife of the man
6
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:16,015
who turned your precious, little book
into a big, shitty movie.
7
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:18,225
Sick of you talking shit
about me in the press.
8
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,144
I thought you might have come by
because you found out
9
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,396
I fucked your wife in almost
every room of your house.
10
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:23,981
Asshole.
11
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,650
Charlie Runkle's office.
12
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:30,237
Your assistant makes me want
to touch myself in a bad place.
13
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,782
But from now on, if I make
a mistake or I screw something up,
14
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:37,494
you should feel free to discipline me
in whatever way you see fit.
15
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:42,541
- Hi. Remember me?
- How could I forget?
16
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,209
Best blind date of my life, asshole.
17
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:47,046
Well, let me make it up to you.
Can I take you out sometime?
18
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,759
The guy you saw me with last night.
19
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:54,636
- He's married.
- Fucking a married a guy for five years?
20
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,765
Call him whatever you want.
And, Bill, don't worry. He can stay with me.
21
00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:00,517
Once upon a time, I used to love you.
22
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,812
And no matter what, you will
always be a part of my life.
23
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,647
But I'm not in love with you any more.
24
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,200
Yusuf, what's a five-letter word
for "excitable boy"?
25
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,827
Zevon. Booyah.
26
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,789
That's a smart dog.
27
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,999
Thank you.
28
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:31,215
- So... last night.
- What about it?
29
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,801
I don't want to be hyperbolic
or anything,
30
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:36,720
but I think we took things
to a whole other level.
31
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,890
And why do you feel the need
to relive it the next morning?
32
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,851
That's half the fun. You know, it's like...
33
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:45,020
It's like getting to do it all over again.
34
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:48,899
Except without the after-sex sadness
35
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,569
that comes down upon one.
36
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,576
Hank, I think we need to talk.
37
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,078
Talk, really?
38
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:06,125
Has anything good ever come
of such a thing ever?
39
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,795
I just feel like we've been spending
a lot of time in the bedroom,
40
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,171
which is nice, very nice.
41
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:15,092
But I'm also just coming out
of this horribly dysfunctional relationship
42
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,052
that only existed in the bedroom...
43
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:20,472
Oh, OK, you want me to do you
in the shower.
44
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:21,974
You know, I get it.
45
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,977
You want to go out on the town
with some Hank on your arm.
46
00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:27,980
You want to stroll around
with some of this.
47
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:30,149
That's totally understandable. We can do it.
48
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:32,818
We can go out. Anything.
Anything you want to do.
49
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,821
We'll do it. Just name it.
Let's go. Right now.
50
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:39,283
- OK, there's this fund-raiser.
- No, can't do that.
51
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:42,536
That sounds excruciating. I won't do that.
52
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,204
It's at your agency.
I'm sure you got an invite.
53
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,707
And I'm sure it went
right in the circular file.
54
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,792
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
55
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,544
It's for a good cause.
56
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:54,756
Well, I'm not much one for causes,
good or otherwise.
57
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:58,093
- I'm not a joiner.
- Apathy kills, Hank.
58
00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,261
I don't care.
59
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,770
Does that feel like apathy to you?
60
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:10,582
- Wow.
- Hey.
61
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,503
Wow. Um, you look...
62
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:18,340
You look... you look half... you know...
63
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,261
- Halfway decent.
- Gee, thanks.
64
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:27,224
- How's Becca?
- Well, she's a little bummed.
65
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,518
Well, that's understandable,
but this thing came up.
66
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,812
I know, I know, but she's just...
67
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,816
- Dad.
- Beautiful daughter.
68
00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:41,655
Oh. Gee, I just... I... I don't know where that...
69
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,658
- A bribe?
- No, I like to think of it
70
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,202
more as a token of my paternal affection.
71
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,832
Are you serious?
72
00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:53,750
This is awesome!
73
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:58,088
Just when I thought we'd agreed
not to get her a cellphone.
74
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,008
I thought we decided that, too,
but then I realised that she can call me
75
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:06,805
whenever she's pissed
at you and Lurch, so changed my mind.
76
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:11,643
- Do you have a date?
- I do.
77
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:14,813
- Do you like her?
- She is pretty cool.
78
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,315
As cool as Mom?
79
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:19,026
Sadly, I have come to find
that that is not possible.
80
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:23,030
Well, if it's a date
and not just a random hookup,
81
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,907
- I guess I approve.
- Yes!
82
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,035
But I want to hear all about her tomorrow.
83
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:31,288
Absolutely. Absolutely.
84
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,665
Call me.
85
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,501
I can't believe you.
86
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,628
So...
87
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,839
Stop it. The date.
88
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,466
Are you in love?
89
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,301
- Oh, shut up.
- Where are you taking her?
90
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,803
- Red Lobster? Denny's?
- I wish.
91
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:51,099
I got this fucking fund-raiser at the agency
I got roped into going to.
92
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,150
Fascist architecture.
93
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,818
Hey, can I ask you a question?
94
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,780
- Go for it.
- What are we doing here?
95
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:07,908
- Mixing and mingling.
- Oh, that's what I thought.
96
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:12,120
That explains why my sphincter
tightened up a couple notches.
97
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:15,916
Relax. There's your agent.
98
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,835
You did? Good man.
99
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,387
- Hey, hey!
- What the fuck?
100
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,930
What's the problem?
101
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,723
You know how much I hate
that motherfucker.
102
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:35,936
Yes, I know how much you hate
that A-list, in-demand motherfucker.
103
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:38,397
And you know how much I've been
trying to sign him for years.
104
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,690
Don't make me
fire your ass all over again.
105
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:43,527
Hank, if I depended on you and
you alone for my commissions,
106
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:47,447
Marcy and I would be sharing a TV dinner
under a bare light bulb right now.
107
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,574
I get that, but don't do it front of me.
108
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:52,035
It's like watching you cheat on me
with another man.
109
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,912
You give much better head.
110
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,081
Always have, always will.
111
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,541
I am impressed.
112
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,043
I can't believe you managed
to drag this nonpartisan asshole
113
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,878
out of the house for this shindig.
114
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,923
- I had to use all of my feminine wiles.
- And a butt plug.
115
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,217
Speaking of which...
116
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,844
where's Marcy?
117
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:10,512
Emergency waxing session.
118
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,932
As we speak, she's likely
staring into the business end
119
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,225
of Angelina's vagina.
120
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:19,896
Let's take a time-out
while I meditate on that for a few moments.
121
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:23,275
You do that.
I see a friend. You come find me.
122
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,154
I'm sorry. Did you say something?
123
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:32,617
I told you, man. You just needed
to meet a nice girl.
124
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,120
- She's not so nice.
- Oh, oh, oh. Naughty?
125
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,832
Hey, do I ask you
about Marcy's sexual proclivities?
126
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,042
Yes, all the time. It's odd, actually.
127
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,003
So, what are we talking about here?
128
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,963
A little S and M? A little light B and D?
129
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,382
Settle down, tiger.
130
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,051
- Mr Moody.
- Morticia.
131
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,511
Call me Hank, please.
132
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,056
So, do you still need me?
133
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:58,143
- Did you finish reading that manuscript?
- Yes.
134
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:01,062
- Did you write your coverage on it yet?
- No, not yet.
135
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:03,732
Then, I think you just answered
your own question.
136
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,318
- Back to work.
- Yes, sir.
137
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:13,658
Anything you want to tell me about
there, captain?
138
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:17,078
Please. I'm a married man.
139
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:22,083
Anything you want to tell me about
there, captain?
140
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,840
Oh, Carr.
141
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:32,511
Can we agree not to throw down
while we have our cocks out?
142
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:34,930
Really? Yours is out?
143
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,559
- Fag.
- I'm done fighting you, Moody.
144
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:43,522
This from a man who had a six-pack
of whoop-ass opened up on him last week.
145
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,608
I couldn't hurt you if I wanted to.
You're your own worst enemy.
146
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:51,655
That is a very astute observation
coming from a dumb guy.
147
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,782
Did me a big favour, actually.
148
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:55,367
Got me out of a horrible fucking marriage.
149
00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:59,538
Oh, you and Sandy splitting the sheets?
Do tell.
150
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:00,789
That bitch is crazy.
151
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,916
Last time I ever marry
a fucking white woman.
152
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,669
Oh, I'm with you there.
Well, how'd she take it?
153
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:08,046
Haven't told her.
Thinking about doing it tonight.
154
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,840
- Here? She's here?
- That's right.
155
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,843
No, no, no. No, no.
Hey, hey, hey.
156
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:30,569
There she is. The former Mrs Moody.
157
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,737
I was never officially a Moody.
158
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,906
You were moody. You just weren't a Moody.
159
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:38,159
Well, you could've made me less moody
If you'd made me into a Moody.
160
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:39,786
I'll make you a Moody right now.
161
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:41,538
- It's too late.
- It's four hours to Vegas.
162
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,373
No, it's too late.
163
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,751
We'll stop in Barstow, In-N-Out burgers,
shakes, fries, celebratory coupling,
164
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:50,088
which I believe is part
of our sordid sexual history.
165
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:53,508
You know, it's very tempting,
but I'm gonna have to say no.
166
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,552
- But thank you for the offer.
...the offer.
167
00:09:55,595 --> 00:10:00,223
Could you be on your best behaviour
tonight? Please, please.
168
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,601
Like a child, you talk to me.
What do you think I'm gonna do?
169
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,894
- You are a child.
- Stir the punch bowl with my dong?
170
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:09,441
Quite possibly, yes.
That's the thing with you, Hank.
171
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:13,987
One never knows what to expect
from you or your dong.
172
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,947
And how is this not a virtue?
173
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:21,995
You know, honey,
you do look beautiful tonight.
174
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,748
Well, that's... thank you. Thank you.
175
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,836
- Oh, oh!
- Stop it.
176
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,671
No, no, no, no. You just said
you were gonna behave.
177
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:35,050
Bill is around the corner.
OK, come on. We can be adults.
178
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:37,177
It just gets so lonely sometimes.
179
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:40,722
I need a hug in a moment, the moment
passes, and I'm good. Smell you later.
180
00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:47,646
- You finished yet?
- Putting it together right now.
181
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:50,690
Bring it to me in my office.
182
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,485
UTK... Charlie Runkle's office.
183
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,236
It's your wife.
184
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,034
Hey, baby.
185
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,286
Yeah, it's going well.
186
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,039
How about you?
How is Angelina's cookie?
187
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:15,882
Really? Well, that's
one of the benefits of adoption.
188
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,513
Yeah, you know what?
189
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:24,015
You're... you're... you're breaking up.
190
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:30,105
Yeah, you're... you're...
I'm losing you, babe.
191
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,607
OK, got to go.
192
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,075
Tell me what to do.
193
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:46,746
What if you don't want to do
what I tell you to do?
194
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,333
I think you're missing the point.
195
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,635
Thank you.
196
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:05,724
There you are.
197
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:08,309
Hank Moody, please say hello
198
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:13,815
to my colleague Jonathan Mandel
and his lovely wife, Nikki.
199
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,942
- Hank Moody? The writer?
- I used to be.
200
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:19,362
Now I'm Hank Moody, the blogger,
soon to be Hank Moody, the bartender.
201
00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:23,283
Meredith turned me on to your blog.
202
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:26,828
- Highly entertaining, Hank.
- Well, that's what I do. I entertain.
203
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:30,623
I'd be interested to see
what you write about this little shindig.
204
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:36,087
Well, just off the top of my head...
I find it interesting that all these people
205
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,256
are ranting and raving
about saving the environment,
206
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:42,260
when they'll probably blow like 10,000
pounds of fuel on their private jet planes
207
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,137
getting down to Cabo this weekend.
208
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,765
- That's right.
- That's right, Babs. You heard me.
209
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,850
Tell Oprah I said so.
210
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,686
Put that in your pipe and smoke it, ladies.
211
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,980
Meredith, can I get you another drink?
212
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,732
Will you excuse us?
213
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:02,322
- Your writing is so good.
- Oh, well, thank you.
214
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,824
I'm a bit of a scribbler myself, you know?
215
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,495
Nikki Man... Oh, that Nikki Mandel.
216
00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:12,165
You write all that Hollywood, trophy,
clit-lit stank, don't you?
217
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,666
That's me.
218
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:17,378
Masturbation material
for the north of Montana hausfrau.
219
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,589
Wow, you had me at masturbation.
220
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,800
- I was hoping so.
- You got me all wet.
221
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,552
The trick is coming up
with good story ideas.
222
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,221
I would imagine.
223
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:30,183
I'm always on the lookout for new material...
if you know what I mean.
224
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,310
Yeah, it's hard not to know what you mean,
225
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,562
especially when you're being
so subtle about it.
226
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,523
Doesn't pay to be a wallflower.
227
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,733
You and your husband seem fine to me.
What's the deal?
228
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,068
Looks can be deceiving.
229
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:43,947
Those two have been playing
grab-ass for years now.
230
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:51,079
"I see," said the blind man.
231
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:52,205
Excuse me a moment.
232
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,085
Can I talk to you for a second?
233
00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:58,169
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
234
00:13:58,212 --> 00:13:59,546
- What are you doing?
- No, what are you doing?
235
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,257
That's married guy. Come on.
236
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:05,468
- I didn't know he was gonna be here.
- Come on.
237
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,430
OK, I knew. I'm sorry.
238
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:11,099
I don't care. Just don't lie.
239
00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:13,685
Look, you want to create a fuss with me?
240
00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:15,562
That's fine. Molest me.
241
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:18,273
I'm Kid Chaos.
I'll create some chaos for you.
242
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,234
- How?
- How?
243
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:36,124
I want to be a 40-year-old virgin.
244
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,585
Why?
245
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:41,379
Because it seems like, once you get laid,
246
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,798
your life basically turns to shit.
247
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,011
It's not so bad.
248
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:51,222
You've had the sex?
249
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,725
Sure.
250
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,810
What's it like?
251
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:00,732
Good.
252
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,069
Bad...
253
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:09,699
Weird. Powerful.
254
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,369
I don't know. Listen, you don't have
to worry about this stuff.
255
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,747
- You got plenty of time.
- Watch the hair.
256
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,582
Sorry.
257
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,170
You miss your dad, don't you?
258
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,923
Yeah.
259
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,927
I miss my mom.
260
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:33,389
For what it's worth,
I know my mom really likes you.
261
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,977
I like her, too.
262
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,856
It's just not the same, you know?
263
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,696
Do you like Bill?
264
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:52,075
- Sure. He's nice.
- Yeah.
265
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,202
But he's not like Hank.
266
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:59,666
Seriously, you're really lucky.
267
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:13,096
Nice.
268
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,311
- Hey, watch it! Great!
- Oh, my God! Thank you.
269
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:22,605
You could look where you're going.
270
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,857
And you could be a little bit less of a cunt.
271
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:28,152
- What did you say?
- What did I say? I cunt hear you.
272
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:33,324
- Whoa, back it up, lady.
- What the hell happened here?
273
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,910
The guy spills his drink on me,
and then he has the balls to call me a cunt.
274
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:38,037
I didn't say a word!
I bumped into her. My bad.
275
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,374
- You liar! Yes, you did!
- She just freaked out on me.
276
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:44,127
Why didn't you get me?
I would've taken care of this.
277
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,920
- I can take care of myself.
- Clearly.
278
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,965
Sweetie, this is hardly the time
or the place for a scene.
279
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,135
Can't we all just get along?
I'm not looking to press charges.
280
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,636
- You...
- Hey, hey!
281
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,889
- Honey, get off of me.
- He's trying to be decent.
282
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,975
No, he's not. He's trying to be a dick.
283
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,686
You want me to have him thrown out?
Just say the word.
284
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:04,272
- I don't. I just want to go.
- OK, OK.
285
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:07,108
Now, look, there's a couple
I want you to meet.
286
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,696
Turns out they bought
that house you re-did.
287
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,575
There we go.
288
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,037
Come on, lean forward.
289
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,581
Just like that.
290
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:24,000
Oh, look at you, you dirty little animal.
291
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,169
- Like this?
- Oh, yes.
292
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,463
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
293
00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:30,048
Oh, I missed.
294
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,468
Oh, yes. Look at that.
295
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:36,471
- Holy fucknuts!
- Oh, shit!
296
00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,056
What, don't you fuckin' knock?
297
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,766
Don't you lock?
298
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:45,104
Hey, why don't you go grab him
some water or something?
299
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,819
Hey, take it easy there, Diane Arbus.
300
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,072
Don't have a coronary,
301
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:57,450
cos I wouldn't know how
to explain that to your wife.
302
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:58,910
It's all right.
303
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,705
Maybe it's time to punch out
there, Bettie Page.
304
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:07,210
OK? All right.
305
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,052
Here.
306
00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,846
First things first...
307
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,265
you're not gonna stroke out
on me, are ya?
308
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,559
Good. You just relax.
309
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:26,479
You're good, you're good.
It's all good. It was me.
310
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,273
You're lucky it was
me coming in that door, huh?
311
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,319
Look at me. Look at me.
312
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,821
Let me see those eyes.
313
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:37,573
Yeah, oh, you're good, you're good.
314
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,742
- Ow! What the fuck?
- What the fuck?
315
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,912
What the fuck were you thinking,
fucking around with your secretary?
316
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:47,542
- "How much of a big, fat cliché can I be?"
- She started it, man.
317
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,461
Come on.
318
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:54,966
I guess I got a little carried away.
319
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:58,136
- You think?
- I don't even know what happened, man.
320
00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,054
One minute, I am sailing along,
321
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:03,641
I'm being the guy who would
never, ever cheat on his wife.
322
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,436
The next second, I'm spanking
the bare, naked ass
323
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,021
of a 22-year-old girl.
324
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,192
I'm not gonna be judgmental, because
A, who the fuck am I to talk?
325
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:16,028
And B, what you just
described sounds incredibly hot.
326
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,781
But you got to get your shit together.
327
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,075
All right? You owe it to Marcy.
328
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:24,662
I know. I know.
I'm such a fucking asshole, man.
329
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,915
If anybody deserves
to be disciplined, it's me.
330
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,084
It's not an invitation.
331
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:36,299
You know, if you're having
problems in the boudoir,
332
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:39,135
it's worth a conversation with the old lady.
333
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,475
I'm afraid that ship sailed some time ago.
334
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,768
I don't know, you know,
335
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:51,981
Marcy, to me, is nothing
if not a dirty little girl.
336
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:55,776
I think, with all due respect,
if you talk to her,
337
00:19:55,819 --> 00:20:00,865
I think she'd be into
some seriously freaky shit.
338
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:12,627
Big boy. You're not crying, are you?
339
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:14,921
- A little bit.
- Jesus Christ.
340
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,510
May I have another glass of wine?
341
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:25,056
Hey, time to hang up
your drinking shoes, lady.
342
00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:28,976
You love me, don't you, Hank?
343
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,562
I've certainly grown very fond of you.
344
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:34,148
- But I think that's...
- Let me guess.
345
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:38,069
It's a little early for
this particular discussion.
346
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:40,529
Something like that, yeah.
347
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:44,242
We'll probably never make it
to this particular discussion.
348
00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:47,203
Why do you say that?
349
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:51,123
Well, when you've spent
the last five years loving a man
350
00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:55,044
and wondering why
he doesn't love you back...
351
00:20:57,047 --> 00:21:00,049
you tend to get
a wee bit cynical about things.
352
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:05,888
You stay right here...
353
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,601
and you hydrate.
354
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,603
I'll be right back.
355
00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:29,036
What'd you say?
356
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:31,664
You need a double dose
of Viagra to get wood,
357
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,457
and you wear a fanny pack
on the weekends.
358
00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:36,794
Think you're pretty clever,
don't you, Hank?
359
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,504
You want to fuck around, that's fine.
360
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,506
Fuck around all you want,
I'm no Judge Judy.
361
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:43,592
Just don't string a woman along for
a major chunk of her childbearing years.
362
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:45,136
That's just not cool.
363
00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:47,179
Who are you? Don Quixote?
364
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,098
No, I'm not even Don fuckin' Knotts.
365
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,350
I'm just a big fan of the lady in question.
366
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:55,938
That's incredibly noble of you, considering
how the lady in question talks about you.
367
00:21:55,981 --> 00:22:00,735
I was curious, because despite
what you say, I do care about her.
368
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:04,530
So, I asked, "Who is he?
Is this someone I need to worry about?"
369
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,115
You know what she said?
370
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:09,827
"Him? He's nobody, a loser,
371
00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:14,623
"someone to pass the time with
when I'm not in bed with you."
372
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:19,170
So, maybe you're the one who
needs to be cut loose, pal.
373
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:24,508
- You're very lucky, my friend.
- And why is that?
374
00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:27,511
Cos I promised someone
I'd be on my best behaviour.
375
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:29,513
Fucking fucker!
376
00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:32,058
Oh, my God!
377
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:35,144
- What are you doing?
- I'm glad we came.
378
00:22:36,229 --> 00:22:39,398
- That was fun.
- You're funny.
379
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:44,737
There you go.
You're good, you're good.
380
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:53,996
- Proud of me?
- Almost never, but, yeah, I approve.
381
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:58,000
Oh, no, no, no, no.
My behaviour... me and my dong.
382
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,711
- Oh, right. Good.
- Well-behaved.
383
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:03,047
- Did nothing.
- Congratulations.
384
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:06,175
You are proud of me.
Did you have a good night?
385
00:23:06,259 --> 00:23:07,676
Yeah, I did.
386
00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:11,013
For a radical environmentalist
such as yourself,
387
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:14,225
this whole evening must have
given you a clit-boner.
388
00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:15,976
- You're disgusting.
- Hey!
389
00:23:16,019 --> 00:23:17,978
See you next Tuesday!
390
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:19,939
Fuck you.
391
00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:24,193
What is that?
What are you doing?
392
00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:27,154
Oh, he's just such a classy guy.
He called me a cunt.
393
00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:28,948
This guy called you a cunt?
394
00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:30,908
Yeah, but whatever.
I dealt with it. I dealt with it.
395
00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:33,160
It's OK, I just want to...
396
00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:34,995
Hey, excuse me.
397
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:43,170
- Good night.
- OK. Good night.
398
00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:00,646
Hey.
399
00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:02,148
Hey, Mom.
400
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:05,526
I'm sorry. Go back to sleep.
401
00:24:06,862 --> 00:24:07,987
Mom?
402
00:24:08,029 --> 00:24:10,865
- Yeah?
- Can I ask you something?
403
00:24:10,907 --> 00:24:13,242
Anything, my love.
404
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,244
Do you love Bill?
405
00:24:16,246 --> 00:24:19,748
Wow. Yeah.
406
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:21,333
Yeah, I do.
407
00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:24,170
Do you love Dad?
408
00:24:24,171 --> 00:24:29,592
Yes... because we have
you in common.
409
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:32,678
I mean... I don't love him
410
00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:35,389
in that butterflies-in-the-tummy
way any more.
411
00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:37,183
I mean...
412
00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:40,311
not in the way that we love
Johnny Depp, definitely not.
413
00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:43,147
Right.
414
00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:46,066
Is Dad a bad person?
415
00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:49,403
No, not at all.
I mean, he does have a habit
416
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:54,950
of getting himself and everyone else
around him into trouble sometimes, but...
417
00:25:00,123 --> 00:25:01,916
Bill is a good person, sweetie.
418
00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:07,129
You know, he's kind, he's smart,
419
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:11,800
and he really... thinks things through.
420
00:25:15,263 --> 00:25:16,847
I love you.
421
00:25:20,227 --> 00:25:22,728
- Good night.
- Good night.
422
00:25:29,277 --> 00:25:33,239
It's been a long time since someone
held my hair back as I puked.
423
00:25:33,281 --> 00:25:35,533
It's been an honour and a privilege.
424
00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:46,961
Care to join me?
425
00:25:47,003 --> 00:25:50,464
Whew, still kind of barfy. Get some sleep.
426
00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:52,633
- Hey.
- Yeah.
427
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:55,594
Thank you.
428
00:25:55,637 --> 00:25:57,513
It's what I do.
429
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:16,156
B to the E to the C to the C to the A.
430
00:26:16,199 --> 00:26:18,701
- Hi, Dad.
- What up, G?
431
00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:22,037
I called because I had
a feeling you couldn't sleep.
432
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:26,166
Right as usual, my beautiful,
precocious daughter.
433
00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:30,546
Do you remember what you used to do
for me when I couldn't sleep?
434
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:33,674
- Dose you with opiates?
- No.
435
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:38,137
You'd look at the ocean
and count the mermaids.
436
00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:39,930
I did do that.
437
00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:43,517
I'm a better father than I thought.
438
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:48,188
Maybe you should try that, and it will help.
439
00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:50,858
Yeah.
440
00:26:55,155 --> 00:26:57,031
One...
441
00:26:59,534 --> 00:27:01,368
Two...
442
00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:04,371
Three... No, that's a sea lion.
443
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:08,083
Four...
444
00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:10,169
Five...
445
00:27:11,004 --> 00:27:13,172
Six... No, that's a bum.
446
00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:17,134
Seven...
447
00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:20,304
Eight...
448
00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:24,224
Nine... No, that's Daryl Hannah.
449
00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:27,686
Ten...
450
00:27:30,357 --> 00:27:32,149
Eleven...
451
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,236
Tw...
32747