All language subtitles for Bunkd s05e19 A Star is Torn.eng

Mornin' campers.

You will not believe
who's comin' to Kikiwaka.

It's not
my principal, is it?

'Cause I was
kinda supposed to be

in summer school
this whole time.

No. And legally speaking,
I did not hear that.

It is
world-famous actress, Melody Chapman.

Whoa!
The Melody Chapman?

Why would she wanna come
to a hot, bug-infested...

Uh, little slice
of heaven like this?

Well, turns out,
she's shooting a new movie about summer camp,

and she wants to come
shadow me for research.

Wow, Lou. How'd you
pull that off?

Well, as president of
the Chapmaniacs fan club,

I may have sent
a few hundred e-mails begging her to come,

and she finally agreed.

Despite the intense objections
of her security team.

Wait, is she that girl

from those silly
Witch School movies?

Um... [CHUCKLES]

The only thing silly about
the Witch School movies

is that they
only made nine

when they had
the material for 35.

I seem to have
touched a nerve.

Melody is gonna love me.
We already have so much in common.

For instance, she once did
a movie with Brad Pitt,

and I once cooked
a pig named Brad

over a pit.

I can't wait to show her
what camp is all about.

Uh, are you sure?

Because Chef Jeff's
menu for tonight is

Platter of Splatter.

That reminds me,
I need you and Finn

to go over to Camp Champion
and get vegetables

from their garden for dinner.

Why can't we
use our garden?

Too dangerous.
The raccoons started using carrots as swords

against the rabbits
in the cutest,

bloodiest little turf war
you ever did see.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

Lou, when does
Melody get here?

I don't know.
I hid a tracking device

in the smart watch
I got her for Christmas,

but her security team
found it.

They'll never find
the microphone in her earrings though.

Well, when she
gets here,

I want to discuss my
passion for cleaning up our lake with her.

She could spread the word
to her millions of followers on social media.

Why can't you just
use your own followers?

As much as I love them,

the feedback
on my page is

mostly Grandma Baker typing,
"This is a test post."

Look, I know you're
just trying to help the environment,

but I don't think
Melody wants any campers

or counselors
bothering her while she's here.

Well, if that's
how you wanna be,

then I humbly submit
my resignation as camper.

Great. You can go stay
with Junkyard Judy.

I humbly rescind my
resignation as camper.

Wise move.

[SIGHS AND GROANS]

Hey, what's
the matter, Destiny?

Just your standard
girl asks camp director

if she can get a movie star

to spread her
environmental message,

only to be
completely shut down.

[SCOFFS] Been there.

Maybe I can talk
to Melody for you.

No. Lou said Melody
doesn't want any campers

or counselors bothering her
while she's here.

Then I won't
be a camper or a counselor.

I will disappear
into character

and I will speak to her.

You really think
that'll work?

Of course.
I'm a great actor, same as Melody.

Only difference is
people pay her to do it,

and people tell me,
"Sir, this is a water park.

"If you're not gonna
use the slide, get down."

Okay, let's do it.

Great. I'll go
get my tights.

[SIGHS] Just wear pants, man.

Okay, when we get to
the Camp Champion garden,

I'll keep watch while you
pull up as many vegetables as you can.

Or we tunnel
under the garden and pull them down.

That's how it works
in cartoons.

You know, the amount
of cartoons you watch

really explains why
you tried to paint a white stripe down that cat.

Whoa.

What is that?

You think it's a door
to a cartoon rabbit's house?

No. No, I do not.

Let's open it.

BOTH: Ooh.

It looks like a small
room of some kind.

[CHUCKLES]
Let's check it out.

Huh.

It appears
to be some kind of survival bunker.

Which they never dust.

How gauche.

Oh, no!
The hatch is locked. We're trapped.

[SIGHS] What are we
gonna do?

I guess we wait.

What time do you think
cartoon rabbits get home from work?

Finn...

Six.

Lou, no matter
how hard you scrub,

the boogers are
not comin' off. I've tried.

Okay, I haven't tried
'cause gross.

I just want everything
to be perfect for when Melody gets here.

But now she's
gonna know that Dylan hearted Megan,

then Dylan hearted Heather,
then Dylan hearted Sam.

If only Dylan's
feelings were as permanent as the marker he used.

Hiya, friends.

I'm looking
for Lou Hockhauser.

[GASPS] Sweet
groundhogs in gravy.

Melody Chapman,
I love you. I mean, I am you.

I mean, I am me.
I mean, I am Lou and I love you...

[HIGH-PITCHED]
And why didn't I just say hi?

Lou, it's okay.
I get that a lot.

But I'm just a normal girl
who puts her pants on one leg at a time

with the help
of a team of stylists, same as everyone else.

Well, welcome
to Camp Kikiwaka.

I'm Ava, one of
the counselors here.

Nice to meet you.
This is my first time at summer camp.

Is it true that
you guys make

tiny sandwiches
with chocolate and marshmallows?

Yeah. They're
called s'mores.

It's not real chocolate.

See, we have
old tires that...

Okay, Ava.

Don't you have
some counseling to do

far, far away
from us? [CHUCKLES]

No, not really.

Gosh, I'm just
so excited to be here.

I spend all my time
on movie sets, so I don't get out a lot.

I've already
been pooped on by a bird. [GASPS]

I feel so alive! [CHUCKLES]

Well, Melody,
you and your new bestie, Lou,

should take a little tour
of our home away from home.

Oh, can Ava come, too?

My character
in the movie is actually a camp counselor,

so it would be great if she
could teach me some tricks of the trade.

-Me?
-Her?

By her, do you
mean me? [CHUCKLES]

Of course.

Just how alive
are you lookin' to feel?

'Cause at this point,

our zip line is
mostly old shoelaces.

Well, I guess I rented
that tandem bicycle

for nothing. [CHUCKLES]

This is amazing.

[CHUCKLES]
The trees, the fresh air.

And what was that game
those kids were playing where they kick the ball?

Kickball.

[CHUCKLES] Genius.

Lou, there's
an emergency

in the kitchen.
I need you right away.

You see, Melody,
when the campers have a problem,

they always
come to me, and only me.

I need Ava, too.

Well, you could've
said that before I got all smug about it.

Come on!

Ooh! [GASPS]

A pole with a ball
tethered to it.

I wonder what
this game is called.

Greetings, random pedestrian.

I am Doctor...

Professor...

Scienceton.

And I am in the middle
of an environmental crisis.

Nice to meet you.
I'm Melody Chapman,

and I am
in the middle

of this lawn.

I've come to warn you.
Moose Rump Lake

has become
extremely dangerous due to human pollution.

We need to spread the word
before it's too late.

Oh, my gosh.
How dangerous is it?

Does this fish with baby arms
answer your question?

Not at all.

If we're not careful,
this abomination could become the future of sushi.

[GASPS]

This is horrible!
I love sushi.

Yes, if only
there was someone

with the reach
to warn people.

Someone with 160 million
followers on social media,

for a completely
random example.

Hey, I have
160 million followers.

What a shocking revelation!

LOU: Well, that was
a waste of time.

Great Scott!

Destiny, in the future,

if the salt shaker
is ever empty,

it's not an emergency.
Just put more salt in it.

Got it. That's why
everyone calls me Destiny

[IMITATING AN EMCEE]
"Can't Fill The Salt Shaker" Baker.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
So, Melody,

did you learn
any hard truths

while we were gone
that you now feel the need

to share
with the world?

Destiny, what did we
talk about this morning?

[GROANS]

I'd be so out of here

if there was
a hotel in this town that wasn't condemned.

[GASPS] Matteo,
good news.

Uh, you found a way
to open the hatch?

No.

I found this bag
of Gopher-Peno Poppers.

Wait, we're trying
to get out?

Look, a junction box.

That must mean the hatch
is electronically sealed.

Let's start yanking
on these wires.

That's how my dad
fixed our car.

And now you can
honk with the radio.

And what happens
when you're wrong,

and you trap us
in here forever with spicy rodent pieces?

We feast like kings!

Wait, uh, where
does this go?

Hey.

This was
probably connected

to whatever
opens the hatch.

Ah-ha!

This computer must be
our way out.

[CHUCKLES] Good thing
I'm a master of technology.

We'll be out of here
in no time. [CHUCKLES]

AUTOMATED VOICE: Loading.

Okay, maybe
a little time. [CHUCKLES]

As you
can see, Melody,

arts and crafts
is the bedrock of summer camp.

Didn't you also say that
about scrubbing barnacles off the kayaks?

We got a lot of bedrocks.

Here, bonds will be formed.

Edible jewelry will be made.

Dylan will break up
with Heather.

Sam will break up
with Dylan.

Tears and macaroni
will be spilt.

Or if arts and crafts
isn't your thing,

you can just put on
these bad boys,

and look really interested
while actually being

fast asleep.

What? I made them in here.

Ava, that is... So cool.

Say what now?

Yes. The character
I'm playing is a bit of a rebel.

See, she's a city girl
who got into some trouble,

and was ordered
by the court to do community service

as a camp counselor.

That was me
last summer.

Well, I wasn't
court-ordered, I was mad at my mom,

but I grew
as a person, yada-yada-yada,

and I became the goddess
you see before you.

Oh, my gosh,
this is so perfect.

Hey, Lou, maybe I should
be shadowing Ava instead,

she's more my character.

Shadowing her?
[CHUCKLES]

Cool, cool. [CHUCKLES]
Ava, can I speak to you in private?

We are getting
a little off track here.

She's supposed to
be shadowing an expert,

and you've only
been here for two summers,

and you've
apparently spent most of that sleeping.

Oh, I see how it is.

Excellent.

So, you can excuse yourself
and I can take it from here.

Melody, Ava has
something she would like to share with you.

Isn't that
right, Ava?

Yeah. Turns out that

Lou cleared
my schedule.

I don't have
to do anything else

other than hang out
with you.

Yay! This is so great.

Lou, you're the best.

Now, come on, Ava,
I want you to teach me everything about camp.

Like, who is Simon,

and why does
everyone do what he says?

Noah,

Melody still hasn't posted

about the lake. What happened?

I'm afraid Doctor
Professor Scienceton failed you.

I'm sorry.

Professor Scienceton?

Doctor Professor Scienceton.

Albert Scienceton
didn't spend eight years in science medical school

to be disrespected
by a non-Doctor Professor.

Noah, if we're going
to get Melody to help us,

we have to go bigger,

and you need
to come up with

a less ridiculous
character.

I've got it.
Gil Fishington,

cyborg marine biologist.

Oh, less ridiculous.
Got you.

The touch screen's broken.

[CHUCKLES] This was
made before touch screens were invented.

See that blinking cursor?

We need to type in
a command.

So, we have
to use a keyboard?

Like cavemen?

These computers are
pretty simplistic.

So, I'll type in
a rudimentary inquiry.

Matteo, are you sure
you know what you're doing?

Maybe we should
look for some kind of instruction manual.

That's what my dad always says
before he just gives up

and pays the neighbor kid
to do it.

Finn, I got this.

I'm going to try

"Hatch release."

AUTOMATED VOICE:
I'm sorry. Did you mean

"Launch release sequence?"

Well, this is
a lot of attitude

coming from something
with the computing power of my electric toothbrush.

If you're going
to be pedantic about it, computer,

then, "Yes, launch
the release sequence."

AUTOMATED VOICE: Location?

Uh, well, we're
in "Moose Rump."

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Sixty-second missile launch sequence has begun.

Target, Moose Rump.[ALARM BLARING]

Uh-oh. [SHUDDERS]

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Sixty, 59, 58...

Matteo, you're about
to launch a missile?

Uh, no! Uh, but...

I don't think so.

But am I?[SIGHS]

You oversized
calculator, stop!

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Missile launched.

No!

What happened?

We just blew up
Moose Rump.

We?

And that is how you
set up a proper campsite.

All we have left to do
is stake the tent down so it doesn't blow away.

Pro tip, if you can
trick other counselors

into doing this for you,

you can go into town
and buy ice cream.

I'm sorry, what?

Lou! Ava taught me
how to set up a chair

without an assistant.

[CHUCKLES]
I didn't like it.

What are you
doin' here, Lou?

Oh, I just came by to see
how you were doing

making a campsite,
and I'm glad I did.

That tent
is way too close to that fire.

See, I normally like
to roast hot dogs,

but I see Ava prefers
to roast campers.

[CELL PHONE CHIMES][GASPS] I got a message.

Happens all the time
when you're super-important.

Uh-oh, it's from
Doomsday Doris.

Um, who's
Doomsday Doris?

She's one of our
many colorful local crackpots.

She lives
across the street from "Flat Earth" Fred

and Spaghetti
"Controls the Weather" Wendy.

Apparently,
Matteo and Finn

locked themselves inside
of Doris's survival bunker.

Poor guys.
Are you gonna go let them out?

No way. If they're
in there, they're staying out of trouble.

Speaking of trouble,
that tent needs to be staked down

or else it's
gonna blow away.

I was just about
to do that.

Oh, I'm sure you were,
and I was just about

to start getting
eight hours of sleep

and drinking less caffeine.

[CHUCKLES] See how we can
lie to ourselves?

Wait. You really
don't believe in me at all, do you?

Oh, that's not what
I'm saying. What I'm saying is we should

tear down your campsite
and re-do it the right way.

Well, you know what?
You can do whatever you want,

because I'm out.

You're not gonna be
seeing me again today.

Come on!

I'll get it.

Knock, knock.

AVA: I can't hear you.
I'm in the basement.

Ava, I wanna apologize.

I'll come upstairs then.

The truth is, I was jealous.

I wanted Melody to base her
character off of me

because I'm her biggest fan.

Don't know if
you knew that.

Oh, I know.
Last year you tried to have yourself mailed to me.

And it would've
worked perfectly

if I hadn't been
stolen off your stoop by porch pirates.

Gotta admit,
the disappointment in their eyes hurt a little.

Ava, I never meant
to make you feel like I didn't believe in you.

You didn't?

No way.

Ever since you've
gotten to camp,

you exceeded all
of my expectations.

And that is
saying something,

because as my
Woodchuck successor,

I set the bar
sky-high. I mean,

I was so great, and won
so many awards, and...

This is not about me.

Ava, you are
a great counselor.

Thanks, Lou.
It means a lot.

Well, I really mean it.

Hey, why don't we
both show Melody what camp is all about?

That way her character
can be an expert and a rebel.

Deal.

Oh! This is
so touching.

[GASPS] I should have them
write this into the script.

Right now,
my character feeds

the camp owner
to one of the dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs?
In camp?

This movie sounds... Amazing.

Okay, we can't
just sit here

while everybody else
is out there.

We have to get back to camp

and see if there are
any survivors.

But how? If we go out
into the blast zone,

we'll melt
like a microwave inside a microwave.

Don't ask how I know that.

Wait, oh, we can use
these hazmat suits.

They'll protect us
from the fallout.

Although, the cut
of these things will not be flattering.

Still like my chances
of pulling it off though.

If we're gonna
save anybody,

we have to get
out of here first.

But how?

Dad, send home
the neighbor kid.

I'm gonna
make you proud.

No, Finn, don't![GRUNTS]

[GASPS] The hatch
is open. It worked.

Finn, I'm sorry.

If I just listened to you
in the first place,

we would've gotten
out of here earlier.

And we wouldn't have
incinerated a small town.

It's okay, Matteo.

But stop saying "We."

[BOTH COUGHING]

Ugh! What is going on?

Oh, I knew I never
should've bought Chef Jeff that air fryer.

Mound of Brown is only meant
to be cooked one way.

Low and slow.

Attention, everyone!

A man-made disaster
has taken over our camp!

The lake is on fire.

But I'm not gonna rest
until it's put out

or my name isn't
Blaze Hotstone.

"Blaze Hotstone?"

I'm the fourth generation
of Hotstones to fight fires.

My great-great-grandmother,
Ember Hotstone, put out the Hindenburg.

Noah?

Uh, right. Oh...

No, another
environmental disaster

caused by humans.

We polluted
our lake so much,

it caught on fire.

This is exactly what
Doctor Professor Scienceton was warning us about.

I have
so many questions.

So, Blaze Hotstone,

would it help if
someone warned the world

about the dangers of
polluting our waterways?

Perhaps in an informative,

yet easily digestible
social media post?

Uh, just a spontaneous
thought. [CHUCKLES]

Yes, it is our
only hope.

Something must be done.
Our planet is on fire.

I knew it!

[SIGHS] It was me.

I blew up Moose Rump.

Oh, what hath
my hubris wrought?

Oh, lordy,
it's gettin' dumber.

We have to get
back to the safety of the bunker.

Everyone, follow me.

Actually, the bunker
is kind of small.

Some hard decisions
are gonna have to be made.

Okay, knock it off.
Nobody is in any danger.

And you two donuts
didn't launch a missile that destroyed Moose Rump.

-We didn't?
-No.

You played a video game
called Missile Control

in Doomsday Doris's
survival bunker.

And by the way,
she does not appreciate

you wearing the hazmat suit
that she was married in.

Whoops. Sorry, Lou.

But if we didn't
launch a missile,

then where's all this
smoke coming from?

I'm gonna guess
from those smoke machines behind Grizzly Cabin.

Wait, so there's
no fire?

[SIGHS] No.[CRACKLING]

Actually, yes.

One of the smoke machines
just burst into flames.

Fire? Fire?

It's everyone
for themselves! Out of my way!

[SCREAMS]

I'm beginning
to wonder if Blaze Hotstone

is a real firefighter.

Okay, all the smoke
has cleared.

Although, there's
a small cloud

still lingering
over the septic tank.

Eh, don't worry,
that's always there.

Melody, I'm so sorry

for trying
to trick you into posting about the lake earlier.

It's just that
cleaning it up means so much to me.

And I wanted to get
my message out to a larger audience.

Don't be sorry. I love
using my celebrity to promote great causes.

Why didn't you just
ask me for help?

Well, someone told me
you wouldn't want

anyone bothering you.

Finn and Matteo tried
to blow us up.

Anyway, I would
love to post

all about your polluted lake.

People need to know
about that six-legged fish before it's too late.

Maybe I should
help you with the wording.

Phew. Bravely
saving everyone

from that fire
worked up quite the thirst.

Wait, Blaze Hotstone?

What are you
still doing here?

Oh, no, the fire
burned your beard off.

Actually, that's Noah.

He's one of
our counselors, and an actor.

He also played
Professor Scienceton.

[COUGHING]
Doctor Professor.

Whoa! You were
both of those characters?

I had no idea.

You have to have
a part in my movie.

Seriously?

You can just do that?

[CHUCKLES] Watch this.

[LINE RINGING]

Hey, Billy boy,
how are the kids? Great, great.

Listen, I have
a fresh face here,

little green,
but perfect for what we need.

Give him
his own trailer, double scale,

and if the studio
gives you flak, tell 'em I'm not doing any press.

[LAUGHS] Bill, baby,

you're a doll.
Love to Ariel.

Whoa.

What? I may not know
a lot about camp,

but I've been working
in Hollywood since I was two.

[GASPS] Ooh-hoo!
Anyone else want to be famous? This is fun.

I'm gonna be in a movie?

I'm gonna be
in a movie!

What am I gonna be
in a movie?

I got you the part
of the camp chef

who gets
the time machine working.

[GASPS]
Time machine?

Yeah. How do you think
the dinosaurs show up?

BOTH: I cannot wait
to read this script.

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