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1
00:00:03,628 --> 00:00:04,838
[beeps]
2
00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:06,841
Yes! My fever's gone.
3
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,683
Time to get out of my sick robe
4
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,588
and into my healthy robe.
5
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:11,927
[gasps]
6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,352
You have two robes?
7
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:17,351
Are you the king
of a small island, Bernstein?
8
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,768
This worked out perfectly.
9
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,863
I got sick enough
to miss a week of school
10
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:25,278
and got better just in time
to go on the camping trip this weekend.
11
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,438
Well, I'm glad you're feeling better,
12
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,647
but I am gonna miss
listening to you get sick
13
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,408
and guessing what you had for lunch.
14
00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,869
I'm the vomit whisperer.
15
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,751
That's gonna get you
into a really good college.
16
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,039
I know.
17
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,331
You're gonna love camping.
18
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,956
You don't have to shower,
19
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,713
you get to eat meat on a stick
20
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,844
and any bush can be a toilet.
21
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:52,344
You just described
every good dream I've ever had.
22
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:56,005
Anyways, the best part about this weekend
23
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,347
is we get to watch a sweet meteor shower.
24
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:01,773
I have a code I live by, Bernstein.
I don't like people watch me shower,
25
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:04,273
so I ain't watching no meteor
when he showers.
26
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,605
Crash, first off, you don't shower.
27
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:08,692
Oh, right.
28
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,607
And a meteor shower
is just a bunch of shooting stars.
29
00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:14,026
There won't be another one
like this for 72 years.
30
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,525
Wait, let me check my calendar.
31
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,910
Hmm.
32
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,365
[ripping]
33
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,205
[mumbling]
34
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,710
Twenty eighty five.
35
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,002
Ooh! [inhales sharply]
36
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,086
I have a dentist appointment that day.
37
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,841
We should definitely see it this year.
38
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,341
Don't talk to me, don't look at me
39
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,506
and don't do anything stupid.
40
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,465
Okay, I'm fine with the first two,
41
00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,055
but stupid is kind of our thing.
42
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,810
Thanks for giving me your flu, Wyatt.
43
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,734
I was already sick of you,
44
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:46,823
now I'm sick because of you!
45
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,066
[vomiting]
46
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:53,072
Wait, I'm getting something.
47
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,910
Sloppy Joes...
48
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,278
and a side of peach cobbler.
49
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,078
The vomit whisperer.
50
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,042
[toilet flushes]
51
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,883
♪ Let me tell you about the Bernsteins ♪
52
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,125
♪ Yo, I'ma let you finish ♪
53
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,922
-♪ But ding-dong ♪
-♪ Who's that? ♪
54
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,086
♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪
55
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,763
♪ Don't wait for you to openKick it down hard core ♪
56
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:17,053
♪ A purple with a 'tudeWhere your mom hide the food? ♪
57
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,807
♪ In the fridgeI'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude ♪
58
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,269
♪ No make-up or feelingsTea parties or dolls ♪
59
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,640
♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪
60
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:24,887
-♪ And face slams ♪
-♪ Good call ♪
61
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,148
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
62
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:27,399
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
63
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,860
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
64
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:29,770
♪ What he said ♪
65
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,318
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
66
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,531
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
67
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:33,950
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
68
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:34,989
♪ What he said ♪
69
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:37,321
♪ It's war against awesomeBut awesome's gotta soar ♪
70
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,947
-♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪
-♪ That's what friends are for ♪
71
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:42,365
♪ Crash and BernsteinCrash and Bernstein ♪
72
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,004
-♪ Crash and Bern... ♪
-♪ I said "Stein" ♪
73
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,750
♪ What he said ♪
74
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,042
[chuckles]
75
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:54,799
This stinks!
Mom, jasmine and Cleo are sick
76
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,933
and Amanda’s not helping me at all.
77
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,390
She's been talking on the phone for hours,
to some guy.
78
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,511
They're actually not even talking anymore.
79
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,518
They're just sighing at each other.
80
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,519
[high-pitch sigh]
81
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,095
[deep sigh]
82
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:10,903
[high-pitch sigh]
83
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,233
[deep sigh]
84
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,696
Cleaning up after other people
is the worst.
85
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,991
Now I know why Mom's always mad!
86
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,539
You're looking at this
all the wrong way, Bernstein.
87
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:26,790
With the girls out of commission,
we have the run of the house!
88
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,043
Let's have some fun.
89
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,504
Kitchen wrestling!
90
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,844
[both grunting]
91
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,379
[crashing]
92
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,423
[yells]
93
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,296
[Crash shouts] Oh, no!
94
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,803
[grunts]
95
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,934
[groans]
96
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,351
[growls]
97
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:42,639
Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no!
98
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,772
-Yeah, I'm gonna do it! Here it comes!
-No!
99
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:46,639
[both grunt]
100
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,766
No, no, no, no, no, no! [grunts]
101
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,063
No, no, no, no, no! [grunts]
102
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:54,027
-What are you doing? Stop it! [grunts]
-Crash.
103
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,275
Oh. Right.
104
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,235
Hey! What does the sign
on the fridge say?
105
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,914
[both inhale deeply]
106
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:05,952
[both sadly] No kitchen wrestling.
107
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,537
See you later.
108
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,584
Wyatt, it's so sweet of you
109
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,207
to take such good care of Mom
while she's sick.
110
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:15,304
-Thanks.
-Knock it off.
111
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,260
Why?
112
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,467
Mom's easier to manipulate
when she's sick.
113
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,721
Last time she had a fever,
114
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,722
she let me dye my hair pink
and try out for a reality show.
115
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,807
Flu season's my favorite time of year.
116
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,524
Then why don't you celebrate
by helping me out?
117
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,307
I would...
118
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,857
but I don't want to.
119
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,781
Besides, I'll be stuck
taking care of everyone this weekend
120
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,401
when you're off camping.
121
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,607
Right now I just need Mom
to let me go on a date
122
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,738
with a hot new transfer student.
123
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:46,075
[sweet] His name's Ransom.
124
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,210
Sounds like another winner.
125
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,499
He is.
126
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,422
You should see him climb a fence.
127
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,875
[Mel weakly] Can someone bring mesome more orange juice?
128
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,383
Wyatt? And...
129
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,715
I can't remember the other kids' names.
130
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,011
Is there a Stan?
131
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,604
Wow, she sounds really out of it.
132
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,104
[excited] Wish me luck.
133
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:15,069
Dr. Bernstein is taking care
of other patients right now.
134
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,108
But he asked me to give you a few tests.
135
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,953
There's spelling, history and math.
136
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,370
Bernstein needs to turn them in
by Wednesday.
137
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,989
And don't forget to show his work.
138
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,663
Crash, you're really giving me a headache.
139
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,537
Ooh. Probably should do a cat scan.
140
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:37,088
Meow. Meow.
141
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,881
Meow.
142
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,513
-Meow.
-What are you doing?
143
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:42,841
I don't know.
144
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,216
I'm not a doctor.
145
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,598
But as your physician,
146
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,971
I think I'd better check your reflexes.
[clears throat]
147
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:52,137
[shouting] Shark! Shark!
There's a shark in the room!
148
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,687
-What? Shark?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
149
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,111
You know the rules, young lady.
150
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:59,689
Shark or not, you need to stay
on your side of the room.
151
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:00,986
[Cleo] Huh?
152
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:04,279
That dividing line
used to be in the middle of the room.
153
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,866
Oh. That is the middle of the room.
154
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:10,330
Your depth perception is way off.
155
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:13,872
You'd better lie down
and not talk for a month.
156
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:17,088
Hey, what happened to my snow globes?
157
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,418
Snow globes?
158
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:21,513
That shelf is where I keep
my chopped-off doll heads.
159
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,301
This fever is really doing
a number on you.
160
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,595
Please read this eye chart.
161
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,139
I.
162
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,354
M.
163
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:33,484
A.
164
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,770
Butt.
165
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:38,605
Patient thinks she's a butt.
166
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,230
I concur with your diagnosis.
167
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,744
♪ Kick it down, Crash and Bern ♪
168
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,323
Oh, yeah.
169
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,528
[bubbling]
170
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:50,617
Dude, you're right!
171
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:53,162
Pranking Cleo is so easy
when she's out of it.
172
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,496
I just got her to throw up into her hat.
173
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,751
[both laughing]
174
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,495
-I'm gonna toss this out.
-Yeah.
175
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:03,509
[bag rustles]
176
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,800
Oh! Crash, what are you cooking?
177
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,764
It's soup.
I got it from your mom's cookbook.
178
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,135
That's the manual
for the washing machine.
179
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,232
Oh, it's a good thing I can't read.
180
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:20,357
Yeah, and my mom
doesn't usually cook with rope.
181
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,440
She should.
182
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,494
It's an excellent source of fiber.
183
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,320
I'm meeting Ransom in an hour.
184
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:30,075
Have you seen my Grey hat
that Cleo keeps borrowing?
185
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,414
[both hesitate]
186
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,615
-No.
-No, no.
187
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,004
[exhales]
188
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:38,331
Are you okay? You don't look so good.
189
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:41,166
Better have some soup.
It's good for sick people.
190
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:44,382
It's got rump roast,
butt steak, lamb cheeks
191
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,094
and a pinch of squirrel intestines.
192
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,175
Bam!
193
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,096
I think I might be sick.
194
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,135
[sighs] I'm gonna have
to cancel with Ransom.
195
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,944
What? No, you can't get sick!
196
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,728
We'll miss the camping trip!
197
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,612
[shouting] You've gotta shake it off!
198
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,319
Oh, I think something's coming up!
199
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,319
Don't tell me! I got this.
200
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:07,281
[wondering] Scrambled eggs.
201
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,992
[moans]
202
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,282
Another mystery solved by...
203
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,076
the vomit whisperer.
204
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:18,961
♪ Let's go ♪
205
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,344
Oh, great. Bernstein, you're here.
206
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,590
I'm getting ready for camping.
207
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,211
Help me fold up the television.
208
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,507
[grunts]
209
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,840
Crash, while everyone's still sick,
210
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,966
-we're stuck here taking care of 'em.
-Oh.
211
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,473
I don't know
when they're gonna get better.
212
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,563
This apartment's crawling with germs.
213
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,930
What are germs?
214
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,937
I've been looking
for some crawling buddies.
215
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,979
Germs are freaky little invisible bugs.
216
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,193
Cool! Where do you get 'em?
217
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,074
They're not cool.
218
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,401
They make you sick.
And you can get 'em pretty much anywhere.
219
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,157
-Bus seats...
-I stand.
220
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,489
-Toilet handles...
-Not a big flusher.
221
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:56,035
Gum from under arcade games.
222
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,869
[spits] No!
223
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,794
Not a.b.c. Gum!
224
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,633
My favorite flavor
in the whole world is germy?
225
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:06,209
It is so totally not fair.
226
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:09,088
[grunts] I think I'll scrub my tongue.
227
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,925
[babbles]
228
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:15,059
Didn't think I needed to say it,
229
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,428
but germs are also in used tissues.
230
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:18,925
Huh? [spits]
231
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,727
Oh! Is nothing safe?
232
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,731
[Mel] Hello? I need my water.
233
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:27,694
-Who said that?
-I know you can hear me.
234
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:28,936
Mrs. B?
235
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,201
Is that you?
236
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,235
Where are you, Mrs. B?
237
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,204
Are there any more crackers?
238
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,294
Mrs. B?
239
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,253
[yells] Mrs. B?
240
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,247
[gasps]
241
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,964
The germs!
242
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,344
[yells] Bernstein, horrible news!
243
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,051
The freaky invisible bugs
244
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,051
have turned your mom invisible!
245
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,352
[moans] The germs, the germs.
246
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,564
[sweetly] Here, germs.
247
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,691
Come here, germs.
248
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,952
I'm not gonna hurt you.
249
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,408
Whoa.
250
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:17,160
I just wanna talk.
251
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,412
[shouting] Die!
252
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:22,333
Die, die, die, die, die, die!
253
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:26,334
Crash, I asked for a toast 20 minutes ago.
254
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,288
Too busy killing germs.
255
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,628
Oh, stand still.
This is gonna take a while.
256
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,424
Get away from me.
257
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,217
Is that my toothbrush?
258
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,053
I don't know.
259
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,886
It tasted like Cleo's.
260
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,101
It doesn't matter.
261
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,890
The battle against germs is bigger
than you can imagine.
262
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,475
It goes all the way to the top.
263
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,597
The top of what?
264
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,772
That refrigerator.
265
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,146
It's disgusting up there. Uck!
266
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:54,109
What's going on?
What's with all the plastic wrap?
267
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,195
The entire apartment
has been sanitized for your protection.
268
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,452
I've wrapped anything you can sit on.
269
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,834
You, uh, might wanna be careful
on the toilet.
270
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,082
Crash, you're in a house
271
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,334
full of sick people.
272
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,415
It's not the top of the refrigerator
you should be afraid of.
273
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,921
It's all of us.
274
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,593
You're all covered in dust and raisins?
275
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,973
I'm just saying
if you're around sick people,
276
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,853
you're probably gonna get sick.
277
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,309
In that case,
278
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,809
there's only one thing to do.
279
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,311
[shouts] Attack!
280
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,602
Attack! Attack!
281
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,935
Die, germs, die!
282
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,020
Get back here with those germs,
young lady!
283
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,605
Attack!
284
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:36,453
[grunts]
285
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,372
[grunts] Oh, great.
286
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:42,119
Now I need to burn
my 10-foot pole. [grunts]
287
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,872
Crash, where did you get a Hazmat suit?
288
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,964
In the dumpster behind the hospital.
289
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,920
I'm pretty sure it belonged to a pirate.
290
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,420
The dumpster had skulls
and crossbones all over it.
291
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,884
I think his ship was called
"the hazardous waste."
292
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,678
You're a hazardous waste.
293
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,339
[chuckles] Good one!
294
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,467
I'll miss this clever back-and-forth.
295
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,724
-Do you have any last words for me?
-Crash, I'm not going anywhere.
296
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:07,768
But I am.
I'm moving out of this germ factory.
297
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,555
[grunts]
298
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:14,566
Me and my girls
are moving out to the patio.
299
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:18,451
Yup, country living for Crash
and his severed lady heads.
300
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:22,911
You can keep the sick stick.
It's already contaminated.
301
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,460
-Hey, crash, what are you--
-Stop right there!
302
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,960
Before you get any closer,
you need to be deloused.
303
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:33,382
-I don't have lice.
-But your cooties might.
304
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,802
All right, that's good.
305
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:37,721
You're all set.
306
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,089
-[shouts] Face slam!
-[both grunt]
307
00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:42,216
What was that?
308
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,183
It's called the safe slam.
309
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,774
It's less germy.
310
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:47,729
And less slammy.
311
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,849
You can't be too careful, Bernstein.
312
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:52,266
Your sisters are disgusting.
313
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:56,479
You don't have to tell me that.
I have to share a bathroom with them.
314
00:12:57,736 --> 00:13:00,406
But we have to get them better
if we want to go on our camping trip.
315
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,818
I need you to help me.
316
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,576
Okay. Step one:
317
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:04,828
Don't panic.
318
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:05,989
I'm not panicking.
319
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,787
Which brings us to step two.
320
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,831
Read this very alarming information
I found online
321
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,625
that will totally make you panic.
322
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:15,304
Based on my research,
323
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:18,338
it appears the women in this house
have all the classic symptoms
324
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,473
of turkey measles.
325
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:23,510
"Sneezing, headache, upset stomach"...
326
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:26,555
"Foaming at the mouth
and uncontrollable gobbling"?
327
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,849
It's only a matter of time, Bernstein.
328
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,983
Then we'll be forced to divide them all up
329
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:34,111
into white meat and dark meat.
I call dark meat!
330
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,860
The site does seem pretty reliable.
331
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,283
Uh-oh, this could be bad for you.
332
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:43,072
-What?
-Do both your feet point forward?
333
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,156
[gasps] Yes!
334
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,081
Do you have ears
on both sides of your head?
335
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,080
[whimpers]
336
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,502
[surprised] I do!
337
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,460
Are you worried that everything
around you could make you sick?
338
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,041
[shouts] Worried sick!
339
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,126
Well, I hate to tell you,
340
00:13:57,212 --> 00:14:01,012
but I'm afraid you have an incurable case
of absolutely nothing!
341
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,093
I knew it! How long do I have?
342
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,637
Crash, knock it off.
343
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,220
I need you to help me
so we can go camping.
344
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:11,386
How can you even think of camping
at a time like this?
345
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:14,846
[shouts] I've gotta find a cure
for absolutely nothing!
346
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,230
Try slapping yourself.
347
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,864
[slaps, grunts]
348
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,903
-I don't feel any better.
-But I do.
349
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,574
-Keep it up.
-Okay.
350
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:25,656
[slaps, grunting]
351
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,490
Crash, germs are just part of life.
352
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:28,445
They're everywhere.
353
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,825
You can't just seal yourself off
from the rest of the world.
354
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,290
Bernstein...
355
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,423
that's it!
356
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,169
You're a genius!
357
00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:39,212
[laughs] How do you like my new digs?
358
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:43,925
Thanks for telling me
I could seal myself off from the world.
359
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:47,139
I said
you can't seal yourself from the world.
360
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,600
That's the difference
between you and me, Bernstein.
361
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:53,181
When you say, "Can't," I say, "How high?"
362
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,808
You can't just live your life in a bubble.
363
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,856
You say I can't live in a bubble,
364
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,650
I say, "How high do you want me
to live in this bubble?"
365
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,821
We can do this all day, Bernstein.
366
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,414
[emphatically] All day.
367
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,913
Hey, Crash, good news!
368
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,748
Everyone's feeling better and Mom says
we can go on our camping trip.
369
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,344
[grunts] Camping's disgusting!
370
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,800
There are germs everywhere,
371
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,590
you don't shower for days,
you sleep in the dirt.
372
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:28,974
And do you have any idea
what bears do in the woods?
373
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,931
Who cares?
We've been waiting for this for months.
374
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,806
Now we can finally go zip-lining.
375
00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:37,903
I've always wanted to hurtle
through the treetops on a zipper.
376
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,862
We can go white-water rafting.
377
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,900
White is my favorite color of water.
378
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,605
We even get to go snake hunting.
379
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:49,195
[gasps] I could test out
my new snake whistle.
380
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,282
All right, I'm in!
381
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,737
That's the Crash I know!
382
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,286
Now get out of the bubble
and start packing.
383
00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:56,751
[hesitates] I'm not leaving the bubble.
384
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,503
Crash, part of the fun of being outdoors
385
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,666
is actually being outdoors.
386
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,045
Whatever, Bernstein.
387
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,381
I can do everything
you can do in this bubble.
388
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,217
Except the things you just mentioned.
389
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:11,638
What's wrong with you?
390
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,681
You never used to be afraid of anything.
391
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,765
Now you're afraid of everything.
392
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:16,980
You're no fun anymore.
393
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,140
[gasps]
394
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:19,978
You don't mean that.
395
00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:21,483
I'm still fun!
396
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:24,364
I'm just clean, safe, germ-free fun.
397
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:27,902
It's a more responsible, fear-based,
head-in-the-sand kind of fun.
398
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,906
The bus is picking us up
at the arcade for the camping trip.
399
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,751
If you decide to break out of your shell
and act normal again, come on down.
400
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,163
[scoffs]
401
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,918
Tell me I'm no fun.
402
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,210
What does he know?
403
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,922
I can have fun anywhere.
404
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,593
I really should have brought
my drum set in here.
405
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,634
[mimics drums]
406
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:52,138
[Crash] Bernstein, where are you?
407
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,720
[yells] Bernstein, where are you?
408
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,939
[whoops, laughs]
409
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,520
[groans]
410
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,154
[grunts]
411
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:06,231
-[grunts]
-Wow. Dramatic entrance, Crash.
412
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:08,527
Thanks. That's how I roll.
413
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,316
So what are you doing here, anyway?
414
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:12,566
I'm coming with you.
415
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,197
I'm done with the bubble life.
416
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,454
You were right, Bernstein.
417
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,995
This is no way to live.
418
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:19,408
I want to be out there
with you, having fun!
419
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,667
Really? That's great!
420
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,170
So why are you still in there?
421
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,841
It's... complicated.
422
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,169
-You're stuck, aren't you?
-Yes, I am.
423
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,429
I gotta tell you, Bernstein.
424
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:33,178
When I thought about my best bud
going on a camping trip without me,
425
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,261
I felt all weird.
426
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:37,846
I got these chills,
my stomach started hurting, I was dizzy.
427
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,602
Thanks, I feel the same way,
428
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:42,314
but I think you might actually be sick.
429
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,015
Sick? That's impossible!
430
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:47,145
This thing is airtight!
Nothing gets in or out! Look.
431
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,863
Uh-oh.
432
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,613
I might not be so airtight.
433
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,405
[grunting, moaning]
434
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:02,002
Whoa. Well,
I'm glad that's over with. [gags]
435
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,833
Oh.
436
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,498
False alarm. [grunting]
437
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,510
[moans]
438
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:16,643
That's all of it. [crying]
439
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,274
[Wyatt] Whoo!
440
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,350
[clapping and laughing]
441
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,765
[Wyatt] Yeah!
442
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,109
I'm hungry.
443
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:34,947
[moaning]
444
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,781
Hello, mister... Crash?
445
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,657
Is that how you pronounce it?
446
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:40,794
[grunts] Yes.
447
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,870
I'm from the business office
here at Bernstein General.
448
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,037
How are you feeling?
449
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,625
Terrible.
450
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,590
Oh, that's fantastic!
451
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:52,592
So I'm looking at your chart and tell me,
452
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,884
can you feel this?
453
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,386
Ow!
454
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,929
Oh, I'm sorry. That's not your chart.
455
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:00,724
This is your chart.
456
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,427
[grunts]
457
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:04,097
Yeah, that feels like my chart.
458
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:06,728
Hey, leave him alone.
459
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:07,653
He's sick.
460
00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:09,731
So I'll be back to listen to your heart.
461
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,736
I just have to get my stethoscope
out of the freezer.
462
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,449
[groans] Okay.
463
00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:17,951
I made you some soup.
464
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:20,203
Did you put in extra rope?
465
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,745
Just the way you like it.
466
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,666
Thanks for staying home
taking care of me, Bernstein.
467
00:19:25,749 --> 00:19:28,459
Sorry you had to miss the meteor shower.
468
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:31,803
It's okay. I mean sure, it's something
that most people will never see
469
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,050
in their lifetime,
but so is what you did in that ball.
470
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,715
Thanks.
I just wish I didn't feel so lousy.
471
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:39,723
[gags] Oh.
472
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,426
-Oh! Here's something to cheer you up!
-[hesitates]
473
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,385
A guy posted a video
named "Purple Puking Dude."
474
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:46,637
-Huh?
-Here.
475
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,729
-[gasps] This is awesome!
-Yeah.
476
00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:53,735
Who's that handsome guy
drowning in his own vomit?
477
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,278
That's you, Crash.
478
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,492
[gasps] Did I survive?
479
00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,413
[shouting] Bernstein!
480
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,118
I'm out of soup rope!
481
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,464
[Amanda] Wyatt's not here.
482
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,884
Who said that?
483
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,212
Amanda?
484
00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,797
Yes, Crash?
485
00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:17,429
Where are you?
486
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,641
[cheerily] I'm right here.
487
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:20,849
[gasps] Where?
488
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,313
Where's Wyatt?
489
00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:25,894
[Cleo] He's in the soup.
490
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:28,685
Huh? Bernstein?
491
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:29,900
[shouting] Bernstein!
492
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,399
How did this happen?
493
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,645
You did it. Don't you remember?
494
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:38,280
Oh. I've been out of it
the last couple of days.
495
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:39,783
I had some weird dreams.
496
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:42,994
Mostly about angry headless dolls
trying to rip me apart.
497
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:45,906
That's it. I must be dreaming.
498
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,575
Oh, this is no dream.
499
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:51,035
You made soup out of Wyatt.
500
00:20:51,126 --> 00:20:52,206
[gasps]
501
00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:55,263
[crying] No! No...
502
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:56,168
I'm sorry.
503
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:58,966
I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking straight.
504
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,220
I was sick.
505
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,301
[sobs]
506
00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:05,471
[grunts]
507
00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:08,557
I realize this is probably
a small consolation, Bernstein,
508
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,435
but you're delicious!
509
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,278
♪ Crash and Bern, hard core ♪
510
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,736
♪ Bass, bass ♪
511
00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:29,331
♪ What ♪
512
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:33,745
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
513
00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:34,915
♪ Crash and Bern ♪
514
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:36,253
♪ Tear it up, dude ♪
515
00:21:37,672 --> 00:21:38,802
♪ Good call ♪
516
00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:40,932
♪ Crash and Bern, Crash and Bern ♪
517
00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:43,849
-♪ I said, "Stein" ♪
-♪ What he said ♪
36621
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