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1
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:06,721
Crash, you're going to fall.
2
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:07,668
Why do you say that?
3
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,551
[yelps]
4
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:13,224
Add that to the list of things
you've learned since you moved in here.
5
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,064
The pot rack is not a swing,
6
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:17,600
the dishwasher is not a sauna,
7
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,814
and the crock pot is not a toilet.
8
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:24,193
Gotcha, Mrs. B.
And sorry about the crock pot.
9
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,904
You didn't have to throw it away.
10
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,614
You know, I really did.
11
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:32,572
Mom, we need to have
a serious talk about Crash.
12
00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:34,697
Oh, goody. My favorite subject.
13
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,499
Mom, are you really
gonna let Wyatt keep this thing?
14
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,290
He's disgusting.
15
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,463
Look what found
in the shower this morning.
16
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,212
[groans]
17
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,804
Whatever. Look what I found
in your purse this morning.
18
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:51,011
Be glad you don't have
to share a room with him.
19
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,683
If he's gonna stay here,
20
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,891
he should at least sleep
on Wyatt's side of the room.
21
00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:58,814
Aah!
22
00:00:58,892 --> 00:00:59,982
Good morning.
23
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,440
Oh, I'll take a western omelet,
24
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,810
extra biscuits, a side of Canadian bacon,
25
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,778
and what's your selection
of smelly cheeses?
26
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:12,529
We have to get rid of him, mom.
27
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:13,824
Yeah, he's gotta go.
28
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,697
Oh! Oh!
29
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,834
I am offended!
30
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,161
Mrs. B, tell them that
that's a terrible idea.
31
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,581
-It is a terrible idea.
-Ha!
32
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,247
He knows where we live
and he would just come back.
33
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,550
Besides, we have to think of Wyatt.
34
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,721
It's hard for him putting
up with three sisters.
35
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,180
Crash is good for him.
36
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:36,219
Yeah. Before, it was four against one.
37
00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:38,934
Now it's four against awesome.
38
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,597
I-I'm the awesome.
39
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:45,938
Crash just needs to learn a few things.
40
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,732
That's why he's going
to school with Wyatt tomorrow.
41
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,147
I am?
42
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:53,605
Ah, I've always wanted to go to school!
43
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:55,992
What's school?
44
00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:59,159
You don't know what school is?
45
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,374
I don't know what a lot of stuff is.
46
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:04,124
You know, someone
should invent a place
47
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,417
where a guy like me can go to learn stuff.
48
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,671
They did. It's called school.
49
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,463
Hey, I'm going there tomorrow.
50
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,932
Mom, please don't send
Crash to my school.
51
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,720
There's lots of places
where he can learn stuff.
52
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,644
You know, the bottom of the ocean
can be very educational.
53
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,601
Ladies, I'd love to stay
and chat all night,
54
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,725
but I gotta pick up my date.
55
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:28,976
Sorry I'm late, baby.
56
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:31,645
The giant women would not stop talking.
57
00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:38,116
[announcer] Stay tunedfor a marathon of Scared Good .
58
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:41,119
Is misbehaving reallyworth a life in prison?
59
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:44,542
Ooh, this sounds like
a delightful romantic comedy.
60
00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:47,792
[yawns]
61
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:50,804
[announcer] Episode one: Lockup.
62
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,049
[bell rings, doors slamming]
63
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:59,680
♪ Let me tell you about the Bernsteins ♪
64
00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,644
♪ Yo, I'ma let you finish ♪
65
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,433
-♪ But ding-dong ♪
-♪ Who's that? ♪
66
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,596
♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪
67
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,274
♪ Don't wait for you to openKick it down hard core ♪
68
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,564
♪ A purple with a 'tudeWhere your mom hide the food? ♪
69
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:12,277
-♪ In the fridge ♪
-♪ I'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude
70
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,649
♪ No make-up or feelingsTea parties or dolls ♪
71
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:15,896
♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪
72
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,157
-♪ And face slams ♪
-♪ Good call ♪
73
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:18,618
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
74
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,868
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
75
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,329
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
76
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:22,239
♪ What he said ♪
77
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,657
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
78
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,995
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
79
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,410
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
80
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,458
♪ What he said ♪
81
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,630
♪ It's war against awesomeBut awesome's gotta soar ♪
82
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,379
-♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪
-♪ That's what friends are for ♪
83
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,672
♪ Crash and BernsteinCrash and Bernstein ♪
84
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,416
-♪ Crash and Bern... ♪
-♪ I said "Stein" ♪
85
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,048
♪ What he said ♪
86
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,470
[chuckles]
87
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,346
[announcer] That wraps upour all-night marathon.
88
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,817
Tune in next week for more
Scared Good: Life in prison .
89
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:58,529
[bell rings, doors slamming]
90
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,163
Crash, time for school.
91
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:03,735
I'm warning you, because of the girls
you only get one minute in the bathroom.
92
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,577
I've learned to go number
three just to save time.
93
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,458
Whoa. Have you been up all night?
94
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,842
I couldn't sleep. Hey. Nice hat.
95
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,880
Thanks, it's for snowboard club.
96
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,174
What's snowboarding?
97
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,217
It sounds like you strap
a board to your feet
98
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,050
and then slide down
the side of a mountain,
99
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,796
but it couldn't be that.
100
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,311
It's exactly that.
101
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,231
Oh, yeah. Sure it is, Wyatt.
102
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,649
And I'm sure
there's some sort of magical chair
103
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,769
that lifts you to the top of the mountain.
104
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:35,192
Just get ready for school.
105
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,822
What should I wear? Wait, I know.
106
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,068
Too much?
107
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,116
Yeah.
108
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:45,834
Not enough?
109
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,075
Eh, it's up to you.
But today's "Dodgeball Day",
110
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,794
so it may get a little rough.
111
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:54,790
Hmm.
112
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,880
So, this is school.
113
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,474
I pictured a place with desks and a roof.
114
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,300
We're still outside, Crash.
115
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,425
This is just where we eat
and hang out with our friends.
116
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:05,852
Oh, like that guy?
117
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,216
No. That's "The Slapper".
118
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,558
He's not our friend.
119
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,646
[laughs] You flinched.
120
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,400
Let's try that again.
I wasn't happy with that slap.
121
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,320
Get out of here.
122
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:24,067
-Oh. That looks like fun.
-Trust me. It's not.
123
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,827
No, I meant for the Slapper.
124
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,369
Oh yeah. He's having a great time.
125
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,575
Whoa.
126
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,252
Hey. What's that?
127
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,206
Fire alarm. We don't touch it.
128
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,586
-Why?
-I'm not kidding.
129
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,093
Whoever pulls it gets sprayed
with ink so they know who did it.
130
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,925
-Do you get to keep the ink?
-[groans]
131
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:45,971
Just don't pull it.
132
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,968
-Oh, what's this line?
-No big deal. It's for the metal detector.
133
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,274
Um... I'll be right back.
134
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,152
Let's see, oh, spoon. [grunts]
135
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:57,901
That's the can opener.
136
00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,402
And the frying pan.
137
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:00,444
And a toaster.
138
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:05,068
-[Wyatt]Hurry up, Crash!
-Hold on, just one more thing!
139
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:07,946
[grunting]
140
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,291
Uh--
141
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,291
Oh, that'll never fit.
142
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,035
That was a close one, Bernstein.
143
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,286
I don't want to mess up.
144
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,627
That prison show scared me good.
145
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,133
I don't want to end up someplace
146
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,974
where people think they can
search me whenever they want.
147
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,890
Hey, Pesto. What happened to your hand?
148
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,805
Ah, the Slapper.
149
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,273
But I picked my nose first,
so the joke's on him.
150
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,185
[sniffs]
151
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,984
Oh, what's that smell?
152
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:44,817
Oh, that's for Amanda. It's cologne.
153
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,874
Smells more like colon.
154
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,792
You know Amanda doesn't
actually like you, right?
155
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,459
I think I know
when someone actually likes me.
156
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,498
Right, Crash? High-five.
157
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,209
-[punch]
-Ouch!
158
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,299
That's our thing.
159
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,261
Tuck your shirt in!
160
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,510
And go see the nurse about that pimple!
161
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,594
Wow. Who's that?
162
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,007
The vice principal.
163
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,095
She's a fan of education
through humiliation.
164
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,392
Where's your sign?
165
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:16,813
[chuckles]
166
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:20,613
Move!
167
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,110
She seems nice.
168
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:35,664
I watched this crazy show
about prison. Oh, it was horrible.
169
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,417
People are always telling you what to do.
170
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,499
-Up against the wall.
-Yeah! Like that.
171
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,881
Yeah, they even tell you what to wear.
172
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,215
Here's your gym gear.
173
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,810
[bell ringing]
174
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,808
[lockers slam]
175
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,430
[doors slam]
176
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,443
Wait a minute.
177
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:58,984
[screams]
178
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,903
This isn't school!
179
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,072
It's prison!
180
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,071
[wails]
181
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,373
Wyatt! Oh!
182
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:19,866
Wyatt!
183
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,418
Wyatt!
184
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,551
Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt.
185
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:24,748
We gotta get out of here.
186
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,628
This place isn't school, it's prison!
187
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,835
Yeah, Crash, it's prison.
But we bust out at 3:15.
188
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,724
I've arranged for some buses
to meet us at the front gate.
189
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:37,345
Look, I know a little something
about surviving behind bars.
190
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,694
First, we need tough sounding nicknames.
191
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,689
You'll be, um...
192
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,861
Wyatt "The Riot".
193
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,980
Awesome.
194
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,856
And I'll be, um...
195
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,243
Wait. Crash already is
a tough-sounding nickname.
196
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,950
Good point.
In that case, call me "Wendell".
197
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,289
All right, Wendell. Let's get to class.
198
00:08:56,369 --> 00:09:00,709
Not before we prove that we're bad dudes
who should not be messed with.
199
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,710
No problem. I got my yo-yo.
200
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,972
Save it for the prison
talent show. This is serious!
201
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,889
We need to find the biggest guy
in the cell block and take him out.
202
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,553
That guy.
203
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,773
[laughing] You flinched.
204
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,938
No, Crash. Not The Slapper.
205
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,439
Hey, Slappy.
206
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,727
You want to throw hands with me?
207
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,197
My turn.
208
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,535
[wincing] Is that all you got?
209
00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:43,043
[Crash] You flinched. You flinched.
210
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,335
You flinched. You flinched. You flinched.
211
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,955
[crying] Mommy!
212
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,303
You flinched.
213
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:55,894
Okay, Bernstein.
214
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,010
Now we go to class.
215
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,770
It was epic.
216
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,355
That little lavender dude
with Wyatt Bernstein
217
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,151
made The Slapper cry.
218
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,895
The dude was like, "You flinched.
You flinched. You flinched."
219
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:16,867
And then The Slapper was like--
[fake-crying]
220
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,080
And then I was like, "Yes!"
221
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:20,946
But in a cool way.
222
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:26,457
-Shh, here he comes.
-What's everyone standing for?
223
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,593
The queen walk in?
'Cause I got a bone to pick with her.
224
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,261
She's in my fantasy football league
225
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,469
and she's making
all sorts of crazy trades.
226
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,550
[laughing]
227
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,596
I like you guys. You get me. Sit down.
228
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,604
Hey, have you noticed
everyone's looking at us?
229
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:48,017
Hey. Don't you know
it's not polite to stare?
230
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,567
Ah. That's respect.
231
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,491
Oh, Bernstein, that's it.
232
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:58,320
What you're witnessing is street cred,
which is why it feels so strange to you.
233
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,702
Yeah, Wyatt. People have
been talking about you today.
234
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,036
And not like that time
you had that really high fever
235
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,752
and told the nurse that you loved her.
236
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,538
Please. That was Bernstein.
237
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:11,246
You're talking to Wyatt "The Riot".
238
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,416
I was talking with the other guys,
239
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,677
and we think you should be
captain of the snowboard club.
240
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:18,604
That'd be all right.
241
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,925
I'm really excited.
I just don't want to show it.
242
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,595
That's right, Bernstein.
243
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,193
You always play it cool.
244
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,099
[cellphone ringing]
245
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,063
What?
246
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,607
Who would trade
a quarterback for a kicker?
247
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,441
Your royal highness, you are killing me.
248
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,576
Amanda,
249
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,120
you look radiant.
250
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:47,499
That's this week's vocabulary word.
251
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,332
Supposed to use it in a conversation.
252
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,917
-Shh.
-You also smell superfluous.
253
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:55,758
What happened today,
254
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,140
and why are high school kids
talking about Wyatt and Crash?
255
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,259
The more important question is
why they're not talking about--
256
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,307
Pesto and Amanda.
257
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,478
Because I painted
over every place you wrote it.
258
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,269
[Crash] Hey, guys.
259
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,106
Hey, good to see you.
260
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,571
Maybe you can answer me.
261
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,065
How is my 12-year-old brother,
262
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,323
who still has superheroes
on his underwear,
263
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,316
cool all of a sudden?
264
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,777
That's underwear?
265
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,536
I thought it was the best tattoo ever.
266
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,790
If you made my little brother
more popular than me,
267
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,382
I swear I will turn you
into a toilet-seat cover!
268
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,089
Who doesn't like a nice
toilet-seat cover?
269
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:35,759
Especially on a cold morning.
270
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,715
Ooh, the teepee's looking real nice, Cleo.
271
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:44,103
-Thanks.
-The fabric is beautiful.
272
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,850
Wait a minute, is that my new skirt?
273
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,312
Mom, it's four years old.
274
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:49,483
Go shopping.
275
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:50,401
You--
276
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,227
Better get an "A."
277
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,479
[snoring]
278
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,614
We have to find a place
for Crash to sleep.
279
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:00,946
Oh, good news.
280
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:04,411
I found a family in Australia
who's willing to adopt Crash.
281
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,912
They have lots of land
for him to run and play.
282
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,285
Just think, Mom.
283
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,211
You can make
someone's dream come true.
284
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,128
We're not giving Crash away.
285
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,760
I don't want him sleeping
in my room anymore.
286
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,128
I mean it, Mom. He's weirder than Wyatt.
287
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,933
[snoring]
288
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:25,310
[both screaming]
289
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:30,603
Am I not entitled to one thing
in my life that isn't completely ruined?
290
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,595
Don't talk to me about life being ruined.
291
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:35,147
Before I had you kids,
I drove a convertible.
292
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,740
[groans]
293
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,239
Mom? Mom, what's he doing?
294
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,662
I think he's sleepwalking.
295
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:46,583
It's kind of cute, isn't it?
296
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,117
Oh!
297
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:53,625
[snoring]
298
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,586
And that's when I bought
myself an elephant.
299
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,336
Huh? What's this for?
300
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,468
They used to give part
of their breakfast to The Slapper.
301
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,965
Now they're giving it to you.
It's pathetic.
302
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:11,938
Thank you. Thank you, and--
303
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:15,148
Yogurt? What am I, someone's mom?
304
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,230
[scoffs]
305
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,864
Oh, man. I forgot the syrup.
306
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,783
[chuckling]
307
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,072
Now that's what I'm talking about!
308
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,276
You know it.
309
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,076
This is our house. We run this place!
310
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,540
Is that so?
311
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,374
He's just joking.
312
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,615
Yes, that is so.
313
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,538
Don't worry, we're old friends.
314
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,086
I'm watching you.
315
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:39,710
You and everybody else.
316
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,716
You see, I'm kind
of a big deal around here.
317
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,392
Ooh! Stink eye staring contest.
318
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,429
And go.
319
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,402
Oh, you blinked. I get your dessert.
320
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,364
Mmm. Green stuff.
321
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,282
Oh yeah, Bernstein, we've still got it.
322
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,747
Yeah. Cred feels good.
323
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,748
And we just lost it.
324
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,040
What?
325
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,673
Why can't I have cred?
326
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,381
Hey, Wyatt "The Riot"! Did you hear?
327
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:22,382
Mount Hood got a foot of snow last night.
328
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,264
Snowboard season opens today.
329
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,551
Yep. All because of my captain-osity.
330
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,434
You're welcome.
331
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,676
[chuckles]
332
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,984
What are we waiting for?
Let's go snowboarding!
333
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:35,769
We can't just leave, Crash.
334
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,942
What do you mean we can't?
You're Wyatt "The Riot".
335
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,441
Captain of the snowboard club.
We rule the school.
336
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,609
Hey, Slapper! Who rules the school?
337
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,783
You do, boss.
338
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,071
Don't slap me.
339
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:48,452
Told you.
340
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,025
Actually, Crash, we don't rule the school.
341
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:54,157
Ms. Takashi does.
We can't leave unless she lets us out.
342
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:59,455
-I thought you said this wasn't a prison.
-[bell rings, doors slamming]
343
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:04,550
-Are you all right?
-Come on! We're busting out of this joint.
344
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,255
Oh, Crash! Not the fire alarm!
345
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,508
[fire alarm ringing]
346
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,648
All right, Bernstein.
Let's get out of here.
347
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,653
Well, that didn't take long.
348
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,240
The ink doesn't lie.
349
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,449
Wait, what?
350
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:29,735
Ah!
351
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,120
Do you want to explain this?
352
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,452
Not really, no.
353
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,117
In my office.
354
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:44,253
That is Wyatt "The Riot".
You'll never break him.
355
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,917
You can interrogate him.
You can torture him.
356
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,127
You can even make him read poetry.
357
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,927
The girly kind that doesn't rhyme!
358
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,313
There are ways to deal
with punks like you.
359
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,769
However, none of them are legal!
360
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,600
Wait in the hallway!
361
00:16:58,685 --> 00:16:59,765
[gasps, grunts]
362
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:00,733
Oh.
363
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,270
Sorry about that.
I thought the door was open.
364
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,027
[Crash] It's okay. Whoo!
365
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:10,196
I'm sorry, Ms. Takashi,
but Crash really isn't that bad.
366
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:15,449
I need you to write down
what really happened out there.
367
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,405
I mean it. He's a great guy.
368
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,615
Maybe a little overcurious and excitable--
369
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,076
But isn't that what we want
in our young people today?
370
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:28,086
I don't hear writing.
371
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:31,552
Come on.
372
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:34,354
I know he's guilty. You know he's guilty.
373
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,009
Let's just get this over with.
374
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,767
That clown in the hallway
doesn't belong in school.
375
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,226
Crash!
376
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,562
...needs school.
377
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:45,979
He has so much to learn.
378
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,026
You don't want to take
the fall for this, kid.
379
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:51,243
Word is, you're captain
of the snowboarders.
380
00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,451
You'd get drummed right out of that club.
381
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,329
Ms. Takashi?
382
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,578
Something you said earlier
made a lot of sense.
383
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,370
Good. I'm getting through to you.
384
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,248
I'm glad I didn't have to get mean.
385
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:05,709
Now, what have you got to say?
386
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,264
The ink doesn't lie.
387
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:12,009
[groans] Snowboarders.
388
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,512
Bernstein. Bernstein.
389
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:16,347
I heard everything.
You gotta tell her the truth.
390
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,719
I don't need to go to school.
391
00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:20,676
Yes, you do. And I want you here.
392
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,807
But you'll get drummed out
of snowboarders.
393
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,305
She didn't really mean that.
394
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,820
[drumming]
395
00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:31,648
Wow. She really meant it.
396
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:39,163
-Was detention horrible?
-Unbearable.
397
00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:42,414
-I had to sit quietly for 40 minutes.
-[shudders]
398
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:45,286
Well, I had a productive afternoon too.
399
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,535
I took care of my sleeping situation.
400
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,415
Ta da!
401
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:51,795
We're gonna be bunkmates!
402
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,511
You get to climb the ladder
to your bed every night.
403
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,760
You know what?
I'll just take the bottom bunk.
404
00:18:58,430 --> 00:18:59,470
That's cool.
405
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:02,023
I like the view
from up here better anyway.
406
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,730
Flying Face Slam!
407
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,113
[-laughing]
-Nice.
408
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:12,898
Well, if you've gotta stay here,
409
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:16,606
at least you have a place
to sleep without messing with my stuff.
410
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:19,278
By the way, where'd you find
such a small mattress?
411
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,287
Oh, I just found it lying around.
412
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:32,012
Mom!
413
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:38,717
I finished the ad, listen.
414
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:40,641
"Free to good home:
415
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,182
An annoying, destructive pest
that's ruined my life."
416
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,390
Nice, but...
417
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:48,765
The key to selling is making
your product sound appealing.
418
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,935
Instead of annoying,
we'll call Crash "playful."
419
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:55,355
Instead of destructive,
how about "energetic"?
420
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:56,905
Now send.
421
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:00,199
That's how you trick people
into buying things.
422
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:02,293
I once got tricked
into buying a pair of shoes
423
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:03,539
that made my feet bleed.
424
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,540
But look how cute they are.
425
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,036
[phone ringing]
426
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,090
Hello?
427
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,751
Yes, he's still available.
428
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:14,377
You can pick him up today?
429
00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,844
That's perfect. His name is Crash.
430
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:19,135
Hey, that's my name.
Okay, I'll see you soon.
431
00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:21,303
Hey, good news, everyone.
432
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,768
I've adopted an energetic and playful pet.
433
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:25,478
And how cool is this?
434
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,138
His name is Crash!
435
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:36,364
♪ Crash and Bern , hard core ♪
436
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,784
♪ Bass, bass ♪
437
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,406
♪ What ♪
438
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,665
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
439
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:49,918
♪ Crash and Bern ♪
440
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,250
♪ Tear it up, dude ♪
441
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,835
♪ Good call ♪
442
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,590
♪ Crash and BernCrash and Bern ♪
443
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,592
-♪ I said, "Stein" ♪
-♪ What he said ♪
31926
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