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Rock music
2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:13,074
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And the wolf said,
"'Little pigs, little pigs,
4
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,564
let me in.'
5
00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,691
'Not by the hair
of our chinny-chin-chin.'
6
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,651
'Then I'll huff and I'll puff
7
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,695
and I'll blow your house down.'"
8
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,655
Ohh!
9
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,532
"But the brick house
wouldn't come down.
10
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,535
So the big, bad wolf climbed
all the way up the roof,
11
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,704
he slid down the chimney,
and then..."
12
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,874
Aooh-wuh-wuh-wuh-wuuu!
13
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:43,001
"The big, bad wolf fell into
the pot of hot water
14
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,586
that the pigs had on the fire.
15
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:47,338
And that was the end
of the big, bad wolf.
16
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,674
And the pigs lived happily
ever after."
17
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,135
You see 'em? One, two,
18
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,137
- three.
- Hey.
19
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,057
- Hey.
- How's he feeling?
20
00:00:57,098 --> 00:01:01,144
Oh, he's still congested
and, uh, still awake.
21
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,979
Smells like my grandma's room
in here.
22
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,065
Yeah. Yeah, slathered him
in Vicks.
23
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,817
Hey, you wanna tag out?
24
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,486
- I'll take a turn.
- Uh-uh.
25
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,820
It's cool. I got him.
26
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,405
You get some sleep, all right?
27
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,908
Okay. I'm gonna pass out
on the couch
28
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,534
to an episode of Bob Ross.
29
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,095
Oh. Bob Ross.
30
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,165
Feel better, my sweet baby boy.
31
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,666
Mmm.
32
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,252
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
33
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,800
Okay, let's see what's next,
what's next?
34
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:34,302
All right, we've...
35
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,055
I think we've read the...
36
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,616
just about every single
one of these books.
37
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,600
But don't worry about it.
38
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,603
I got a better story for you,
all right?
39
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:46,898
Soft music
40
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:51,111
How 'bout we tell you
a real fairy tale story, huh?
41
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:54,322
Now, once upon a time,
42
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,575
there was a little boy
named Phillip Gallagher.
43
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,410
- Phillip.
- It's, uh, Lip.
44
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,037
- I'm Lip... Phillip Gallagher.
- Lip?
45
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:01,955
- Lip.
- Is Lip around?
46
00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:03,081
- Lip!
- Lip.
47
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,457
- Phillip Gallagher?
- It's Lip.
48
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,793
- Lip, my man.
- Lip, muh boy.
49
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,795
Not gonna call ya Lip.
Hope that's okay.
50
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,131
Gonna call you by your lovely
God-given name...
51
00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,799
- Phillip.
- Okay.
52
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:13,967
After the prophet.
53
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,594
And Phillip... or Lip,
54
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,222
as his family and friends
called him,
55
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:22,142
grew up in a magical castle,
56
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,602
and he was raised
by a supportive
57
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,230
and loving family.
58
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,026
Fuck you, Frank!
59
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:34,279
Will you please take a drink
and shut the fuck up?
60
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,697
Shut the fuck up!
61
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:37,049
Frank's passed out
up in the bathroom.
62
00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:38,032
- Fuck.
- He dead?
63
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,284
Unfortunately not.
64
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,536
You gotta let kids learn
for themselves.
65
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,996
They gonna fend for themselves?
66
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,498
You give a man a fish,
you've fed him for a day.
67
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,476
Teach a man to fish,
you've fed him for a lifetime.
68
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,877
I raised fisherman.
69
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,837
That's my fucking bike!
70
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,381
The best gift you can give...
Neglect.
71
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,843
- Dad.
- Son.
72
00:02:57,385 --> 00:03:00,096
A rooster in the henhouse.
Rooster in the henhouse!
73
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,764
Hide the money!
74
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,450
- Morning, Grammy.
- Morning, Grammy!
75
00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,202
- Morning, Grams!
- Hey, Gallagher.
76
00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:07,312
Your mom's down at the station.
Bring bail money.
77
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:11,482
Get the fucking key
and get me out of here!
78
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,026
Just bailed Monica outta jail.
79
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,195
She let Carl play bumper cars
with a Buick.
80
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,614
So you know Monica spent
all the squirrel fund money?
81
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,949
The first rule you learn
in this house...
82
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,451
You hide the goddamn money!
83
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,720
Don't be mad at Fiona. Come on.
84
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,287
Hey, Monica, shut up.
85
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,681
You know what,
like most of my life,
86
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,998
this has nothing to do with you.
87
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,041
Your son's a real prick.
88
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:32,378
Don't say Papa
never gave ya a pet.
89
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,963
Fuck!
90
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,340
Eeew!
91
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,717
- Hey, Grammy.
- Oh, my goodness.
92
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:41,429
I have never seen apple
and spice looking so nice!
93
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,699
- How's it goin' in there?
- Oh, the food's not so great,
94
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,391
but the pussy's pretty good.
95
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:46,517
Sounds all right.
96
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,394
Weren't Monica and Frank on acid
97
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,729
the whole time
you were in vitro?
98
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,397
'Shrooms, mostly.
99
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,524
We had one kid on coke... Debbie.
100
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,526
- That was Carl.
- No, Carl was E.
101
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,487
- Thought Liam was E.
- Liam was acid.
102
00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:58,947
Don't you remember?
103
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,742
But we've never made
a little rug rat on GHB.
104
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,830
Oh! Jesus Christ!
105
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,624
"Congratulations, Ian.
106
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,501
You are not
Frank Gallagher's son."
107
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,253
You fucked my brother!
108
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:15,338
I like the idea of Monica
cheating on Frank.
109
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,774
You know, it really keeps
my image of you
110
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,383
right on track, Mom.
111
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,760
Honestly, sweetie,
there was the summer of '95
112
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,887
that I did a lotta PCP...
113
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,264
- You did PCP?
- And I...
114
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,266
Without me?
115
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,244
Moni and I wanna
take Liam to live with us.
116
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,769
- What?
- No, out of the fucking
117
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,771
- question, Roberta.
- Taking Liam?
118
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,022
- No!
- No, nobody's
119
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,565
taking anyone anywhere.
120
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,527
I don't care what the fucking
DNA test says.
121
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:40,071
- You're not taking Liam.
- We having a problem,
122
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,448
- Phillip?
- Let's see... you're camped out
123
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,575
in my house,
you're fucking my mother,
124
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,095
and you're talking about
stealing my baby brother.
125
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,620
Why would we have a problem?
126
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,622
- Hey, stop it!
- Congratulations, Mom.
127
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,124
You always knew how to pick 'em.
128
00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,601
Yeah, so please
stay on your barstool
129
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,019
- and just keep drinking.
- Come on!
130
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,628
- I've gotta walk away.
- What?!
131
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,231
If I don't walk away,
I'm gonna fucking hit him.
132
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,132
Bluesy rock music
133
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,967
What the hell?
134
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,428
Fuck!
135
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,596
Next time you're thinkin'
about dropping in,
136
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,390
don't.
137
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:08,993
You fucked up our lives
138
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,810
enough already.
139
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,440
At least I'm not getting
trapped by some pregnant skank.
140
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,066
- Fuck you.
- You'll probably quit
141
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,152
high school, huh,
start working at Best Buy.
142
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,838
- Watch your fuckin' mouth!
- I wonder how long it takes
143
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,572
before you start huffing glue?
144
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,991
Hey! Only one way
to resolve this.
145
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,826
Somebody's gotta bleed.
Fight it out.
146
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,995
See who's alpha wolf.
147
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:32,248
Rock music
148
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,334
Your mother...
149
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,002
was a real cunt.
150
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,044
Amen.
151
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:41,674
Wanna get a beer?
152
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,009
Yeah.
153
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,011
- Hey, Lip, I need your help.
- Oh... busy!
154
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,637
Too busy to help your old man?
155
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,181
Yes. Forever.
156
00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:49,700
- Movin' out again?
- Fuck off.
157
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,517
I don't like the way
I'm being talked to
158
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,245
- around my own house.
- Let's go see if we can find
159
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,355
whatever gutter our
responsible adult of a father
160
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,981
has crawled into this time.
161
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,667
"You never got me this,
Dad, we never had that, Dad."
162
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,401
Yack, yack, fucking yack!
163
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,362
Lip, you're 21, right?
164
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,238
23, but that's fine.
You're in the ballpark.
165
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,741
Surround sound bitching
is the only thanks I get.
166
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,618
Life is hard. We all know that.
167
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,578
Money is harder.
168
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,581
Do you even know how much
we spend a week on groceries?
169
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,167
- Too much!
- 120 bucks.
170
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,878
Fiona pays 70.
Me and Ian go in 25 each.
171
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,840
You know how much you spend
a month at the Alibi?
172
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,465
None a your damn business.
173
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,717
Over 700.
174
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,362
- Hey, you're back!
- Let us have a bottle
175
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,553
of your good stuff.
176
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,721
I've got some money comin'.
177
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,391
Tomorrow, fuckhead!
178
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,644
A friend... dropped me off.
179
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,038
I don't need Kev to tell me.
180
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,356
Check your pockets every night.
181
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,818
You better run!
182
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,739
I gotta go, but save some
for me, will ya, Debs?
183
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,321
- Yeah, okay.
- It's essential
184
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,240
that families
share meals together.
185
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,493
- Oh, don't, oh...
- Mmm!
186
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,203
- Great, Debs.
- Thanks.
187
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,597
I won't say it twice. Go home.
188
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:54,747
What?
189
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,541
I won't say it twi...
190
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,378
Why do you two keep
harping on the past?
191
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,172
This is why your lives
are so messed up!
192
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,633
Oh, yeah. That's the reason.
193
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,052
Daddy's home! Come on, lads.
194
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,138
Let's go upstairs,
take a disco nap.
195
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,931
Charge, charge!
196
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,308
Shit! Just go... go!
197
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:15,893
Just pick a bed, fellas.
198
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,728
Just pick a bed. Ohh.
199
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,773
- What the hell are you doing?
- Get the fuck outta here!
200
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,108
You are not sleeping!
201
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,610
After everything
I have done for you,
202
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,446
this is the thanks I get?
203
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,072
Jesus Chriiiist...
204
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,532
Uhh!
205
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,118
Not funny. Not funny at all.
206
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,037
- Da!
- Now...
207
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:37,290
because of his privileged
upbringing,
208
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:40,918
little Lip was able to focus
his attentions on schoolwork
209
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,296
and extracurricular activities.
210
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:45,715
Go! Go, go, go!
211
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:48,634
Rock music
212
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,970
Get outta the way,
get outta the way!
213
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,430
Move it!
214
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,307
Jesus, whatever happened to fat,
215
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:57,018
donut-eating cops?
Now they're all triathletes!
216
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,499
- Ah...
- Break it down!
217
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,980
Shit!
218
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,065
- Yo, Kev.
- Hey.
219
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,276
Is it cool if we put Fiona's
name on your W2?
220
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,528
Sure. What's a W2?
221
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,572
Hmm?
222
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,991
Forty-third and Alstead.
Bring the crowbar.
223
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,537
- Wow.
- Ha ha ha ha ha!
224
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,457
Here we go.
225
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,226
Hey, I wanna stage another
fight night next week.
226
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:25,129
Rock music
227
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,131
Go around to the dojos,
228
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,484
round up some more scrappers,
all right?
229
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,344
Frozen Snickers,
bag a Beer Nuts,
230
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:32,970
and couple of joints.
231
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,639
You 14? Got ID?
232
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,645
You know how to hack
a voicemail?
233
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,021
Probably.
234
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:45,149
I want you to give me 50 or GFY.
235
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,526
GFY?
236
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:53,032
Less ogling, more hacking.
237
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,701
Is this the club where Wilco's
gonna play a secret concert?
238
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:56,869
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's, uh,
239
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,829
20 bucks, self-park, 30 valet.
240
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,165
Thought you wanted this.
Quickest grand you ever made.
241
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,918
Buyer was thrilled... said you
should moonlight for the NSA.
242
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,545
So what are you workin' on
this summer?
243
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,981
Um, I'm working on this device
that reads credit card numbers
244
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,423
off of parking kiosks.
245
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,092
Using a magnetic stripe reader?
246
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,969
Oh, no.
It's all done over WiFi now.
247
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:16,180
Why aren't you working on
my project?
248
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,890
When you're poor,
only way to make money
249
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,809
is to steal it or scam it.
250
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,727
Like Don King or Joe Kennedy.
251
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,271
All right, here ya go.
252
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:25,606
It's 50 bucks a head. $400.
253
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,525
This man stole our jobs?
254
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,278
No, no, I didn't steal them.
I just underbid you.
255
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:34,198
But we are illegal immigrants.
How can you underbid us?
256
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,367
- Gutter white's the new brown.
- The what?
257
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,660
The new brown.
258
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,221
- Come on!
- You got her?
259
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,705
Oh... go!
260
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,748
The real Aunt Ginger lost a toe.
261
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:45,751
Somebody's gotta snip it.
Who wants to do the honors?
262
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:49,439
I'm taking the PSATs
for some Polish kid
263
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,048
over in Ridgedale.
264
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,693
He's supposed to give me
like a hundred bucks.
265
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,176
Mr. Gallagher.
266
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,097
- What?
- Do you know the answer?
267
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,059
Lip's been expelled. - Expelled?
268
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,287
Threw a chair through a window.
269
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,271
The answer is fuck you!
270
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,068
You are finishing high school!
271
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,403
I've done a year more than you.
272
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,047
- This isn't about me.
- So, what, you want me
273
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,948
to bust my ass? Get a diploma
274
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,576
and a high-paying job so I can
buy you all houses and shit
275
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,494
while you lay around
doing fuck-all?
276
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:21,954
I'm down for that.
277
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,290
Why's that on me, huh?
278
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,334
Oh, because I've done
all right on some tests?
279
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,294
No. I'll pull my weight,
280
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,630
but I'm not gonna be
the fucking golden goose!
281
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:34,800
Moody music
282
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,927
And when he was in high school,
283
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:40,264
he met a beautiful princess.
284
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,102
Take it easy!
285
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,479
Get the fuck outta my house!
286
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,189
Hi. I'm Karen Jackson.
287
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,149
I mean... Daddyz Girl.
288
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,155
And the two of them dated...
289
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,659
and they were voted
Homecoming King and Queen.
290
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,470
Yeah! Oh, yeah, give it to me!
291
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,828
- Oh, yeah.
- Ohh!
292
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,747
- Give it to me!
- Want me to give it to you?
293
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,083
- Yes.
- Yeah, she said
294
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,584
she wants you to give it to her,
295
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,866
So just give it to her already!
296
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:16,676
Funky music
297
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,680
You whore!
298
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,807
What are we doing here?
299
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,518
Seriously, from, uh,
my vantage point,
300
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,037
looks like we're on
the verge of fucking.
301
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,230
No, I mean you and me.
What are we?
302
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,856
We've always been friends.
303
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,485
- Hi, Frank.
- Shit! Karen!
304
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,029
Funky music
305
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,369
Whoa! Oh...
306
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:44,745
What do you think now, Daddy?
307
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,247
Am I still a whore?
308
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,251
Mother of God!
309
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,048
- Oh, fuck!
- Oh!
310
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,721
- Ahh!
- Ohh!
311
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,139
Ahh...
312
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,391
- Where ya goin'?
- Karen's.
313
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:08,394
Karen Jackson?
After that thing with your dad?
314
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,896
I have something to tell you.
315
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:14,150
What? Finally gonna let me
plow the back fields?
316
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,693
You already are.
317
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,528
Oh, shit! Sorry. Um...
318
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,738
It's okay.
319
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:21,240
- I like it.
- Oh. Ha.
320
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,409
I wouldn't necessarily
call it an orgy,
321
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:26,579
but there were a lot of
naked body parts flying around.
322
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,914
And then there was the time
at Mindy Carlson's sleepover
323
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,750
when her mom walked in
and freaked out
324
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,418
when she saw Mindy in the shower
325
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,795
with a big, black
strap-on dildo.
326
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,422
So what'd you wanna tell me?
327
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,716
I'm pretty sure
that Jody's gonna propose.
328
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,093
We can't have sex anymore.
329
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,762
Oh.
330
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:44,054
Mandy!
331
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,641
Missed me, huh?
332
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,602
I bet you could get
any guy into bed, huh?
333
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,271
Yeah. Why?
334
00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,943
Hey. Hey, you okay?
335
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,571
- Uhh!
- Oh, sh...
336
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,115
Why the fuck was
Mandy Milkovich at my house
337
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,242
trying to screw Jody?
338
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,286
He turned her down
and told me what happened.
339
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,954
Yeah, 'cause
he's a fucking pussy.
340
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,582
Fuck you!
Stay the fuck away from me,
341
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,043
and stay the fuck away
from this baby!
342
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,549
Why can't I just get
a C-section?
343
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,569
- You're too far along, sweetie.
- Sometimes Mother Nature
344
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,886
has other plans, honey.
345
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,638
Fuck Mother Nature.
346
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,407
She doesn't have to worry about
her vagina getting stretched.
347
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:28,641
- Ow!
- You were already
348
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,935
pretty stretched out
down there, Karen.
349
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,176
That thing looks weird.
350
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,499
- And he's Asian.
- Maybe we're just
351
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,316
looking at him upside down.
352
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,655
So it's looking serious
about Mandy Skankovich.
353
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,114
Nice.
354
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,659
Oh, shit, Mandy. I'm sorry.
355
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,661
You know I woulda never
said that to your face.
356
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:50,704
I know you're seeing Lip,
but like I told him,
357
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,165
I think it's great.
358
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,335
What? I came by last Tuesday
to say hi.
359
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:59,213
She's a skanky,
manipulative bitch.
360
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,257
Why don't you just dump her?
361
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:02,883
- Less talking, more riding.
- Oh!
362
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,804
Fuck you too!
363
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,435
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
364
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:17,439
Your current girlfriend
ran over your ex-girlfriend?
365
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,125
I don't know... I don't... I don't
know what she's capable of.
366
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,609
Dude, you're at DEFCON 1.
367
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,194
You need to get the fuck
outta there.
368
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,863
We haven't had sex
in over a week.
369
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:26,490
Whatever you do, do not...
370
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,701
do not let her bone you.
371
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,788
The fuck?!
372
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:36,125
You belong here with me,
373
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,377
not with that fucking vegetable.
374
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,758
Oh, let me take a look
at you, buddy.
375
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,552
Aw, shoot.
376
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,405
You got all this green gunk
comin' outta your nose.
377
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:51,223
Come on, let's see if we can
get rid a that, huh?
378
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,766
Here we go.
379
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,685
All right.
380
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,729
How's that?
381
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,355
Huh?
382
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:01,066
Is that helping your cute
little congested nose?
383
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,277
Hey, you wanna hear
some more of my story?
384
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,737
Huh?
385
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,488
Yeah, you do?
386
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:09,325
All right, let's do it. Um...
387
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,118
Well, eventually,
388
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,580
Lip graduated from high school,
389
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:18,000
and he left the comfort
of his family and community
390
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,252
to go off to college.
391
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,714
Fuck me!
392
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,674
That's what I was doing!
393
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:26,675
Shit!
394
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,761
Uh... eh... What...
395
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,262
Lord have Mercy!
396
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,597
Okay.
397
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,935
Before we delve
too deeply into...
398
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,897
Problems of modernity,
let me remind you...
399
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,274
Nine a.m.
400
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,777
And social...
401
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:46,862
I don't plan on keeping you
that long.
402
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,280
I try to make a point
403
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,799
of not banging
my roommate's girlfriend.
404
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,784
You were hoping I'd be here.
405
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,042
Excuse me, guys.
406
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,336
Forgot my Spinoza.
407
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,380
I-I-I'm so sorry.
Just let me explain.
408
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:05,965
- It's... it's okay.
- I-I'm really...
409
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,133
You don't need to be sorry.
I owe you one.
410
00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:09,593
We're cool?
411
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,679
Best part about getting
a blow job from Amanda...
412
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,264
Ten minutes of silence.
Come on, dude.
413
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,266
End chords
414
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,852
rock music
415
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,437
These are my parents.
416
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,815
- They're white.
- Yeah, I can... see that.
417
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:25,234
Well, they bought me from
a Subic Bay whorehouse, so...
418
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,485
go Navy!
419
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,170
I don't understand my grade
on this paper.
420
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,992
You tried to be clever,
but there were
421
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,095
no compelling insights or any
attempt at original thought.
422
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,789
Original thought on Byron's
Childe Harold's Pilgrimage?
423
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,291
Look, nobody's had an original
thought on Childe Harold
424
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,627
since Queen Victoria
was still getting laid.
425
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,424
The house mother for my sorority
426
00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:49,859
is interviewing
for house boy today.
427
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,677
Now, you are not allowed
to use the bathroom
428
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,196
on the upper levels.
- The room, though,
429
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,823
- it's here in the house?
- Hey, do you want
430
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,181
any company later?
431
00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:57,783
It can get kinda creepy
in the basement.
432
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,768
Uh...
433
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,894
yeah.
434
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:02,771
Ah...
435
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,732
Who was that... Antonia?
436
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,817
- Me.
- Let's do this.
437
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,820
Funky music
438
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,238
You're fired, obviously.
439
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,824
Why? I kinda blacked out. I...
440
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,909
Not before you took
all the group sorority photos
441
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,953
off the wall and used a marker
to circle
442
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,329
all the girls
that you slept with.
443
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,331
I did that?
444
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,934
When I told you
you had to leave,
445
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,436
you, uh, decided
to mark your territory.
446
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,336
You peed on the carpet.
447
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,505
The, uh, carpets
weren't the final target
448
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,715
of your yellow tsunami.
449
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,884
Where else?
450
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:34,053
Not where. Who.
451
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,721
I peed on you.
452
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,639
I'll be out in an hour.
453
00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:38,724
Yeah.
454
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,650
You're disrupting the midterm.
455
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:51,070
I know, sorry.
I'm a few minutes late.
456
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,738
Six minutes.
457
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,074
I'm sure next test, you'll
leave plenty of extra time
458
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,992
and arrive early.
459
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,372
What the fuck was that for?
460
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,291
Making me fall in love with you.
461
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,376
I didn't make you do anything.
462
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:10,547
Yes, you did, because
you're so fucking... you!
463
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,299
Oh, fuck!
464
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,009
Aah!
465
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,642
Thank you.
466
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:24,228
It was there that he met
467
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:27,481
two of the most influential
people in his life.
468
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,316
They were role models
469
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,861
who showed Lip how to be
a productive
470
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:36,281
and moral member
of the human race.
471
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,587
- Fuck happened?
- Drove into a house.
472
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,464
Kill anybody?
473
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,467
According to Horkheimer,
was nothing short of liberation
474
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,053
from the circumstances that a...
475
00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,680
- Hey, sorry, uh...
- You're late.
476
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,140
Yeah, I couldn't find
the building.
477
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,808
It's the third class,
478
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,685
so you're a week
and ten minutes late.
479
00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:06,228
- What'd I miss?
- Do you even know
480
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,105
what critical theory is?
481
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,398
Question everything,
482
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,567
uh, why things are
the way they are.
483
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:12,943
Why they should be different.
484
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,070
Uh, you know, it's the
only thing I'm good at...
485
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,990
Calling bullshit.
486
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:20,450
Mellow rock
487
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,166
No... don't stop.
488
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,973
Oh, your husband's sitting
in the corner of the room.
489
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,309
Hello.
490
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,935
What's he doing?
491
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,437
Just waiting for us to finish
492
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,856
so he can come to bed.
493
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,192
This must be strange for you.
494
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,170
A little bit, yeah, it's a
little... it's a little strange.
495
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,362
So my husband says to meet him
at 59th
496
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:59,198
and Dorchester,
and he'll give you a ride.
497
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:12,002
- Talk dirty to me.
- Okay.
498
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,962
Um... I'm gonna slap you
with my big dick
499
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,881
and come all over your face.
500
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,258
Jesus. Maybe not that dirty.
501
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,844
Oh, never mind, never mind.
502
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,387
- I'm gonna come anyway.
- All right.
503
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,765
Helené, she's got my head
all messed up.
504
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,683
It's not your lady professor.
505
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,061
- It's that.
- What, the booze?
506
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,687
You seen how much
I pour down my gullet?
507
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,356
I went down on my professor.
508
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,900
Oh! What's his name?
509
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,069
You take his whole dick
in your mouth?
510
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:41,073
I heard... she might be
fucking somebody new.
511
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:45,244
- Did you fuck her?
- What?
512
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,746
Did you fuck her?
513
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,123
You beat up Dylan?
514
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,935
- You beat up my son?
- I didn't know he was your son!
515
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,670
- Are you out of your mind?
- Professor? Tiffany Thomas!
516
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:57,798
Yeah, I was in your Intro
to Ethics last semester.
517
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,177
- Jesus.
- Remember this.
518
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,429
We have only two jobs
on this earth.
519
00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:07,766
The first, to learn.
520
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,893
The second, to cope.
521
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,728
Professor Youens.
522
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,438
Hey, morning.
523
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:20,237
Uh, listen up. Professor Youens
has been detained.
524
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,571
Now, for a well-behaved
function,
525
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,615
there's always an nth-degree
polynomial...
526
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,760
take you to an error curve that
oscillates back and forth
527
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:26,743
between positive epsilon...
528
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:28,161
Thank you, Mr. Gallagher.
529
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,790
You...
530
00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:34,626
should consider teaching.
531
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,295
Is it that hard to believe
532
00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:37,605
that someone thinks
you have a bright future
533
00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,464
and wants to help you get there?
534
00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,174
You need to get used to it, Lip.
535
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,802
Just met with
my buddy Kurt Freund
536
00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,512
over at Chapman Energy Systems.
537
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,306
- Oh, yeah?
- I got you an internship
538
00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:48,974
with him for next summer.
539
00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:50,642
Yeah, I'm not really
an internship guy.
540
00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,477
You know,
you have a choice right now
541
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:53,979
to recognize that you are
542
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,522
a promising young college
student,
543
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,274
not some ghetto outlaw.
544
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,736
Where'd you get that?
545
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:03,280
Some girl Tweeted it.
546
00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:08,785
How the fuck could you send out
that picture of Helené?
547
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,121
You shouldn't have
screwed me over.
548
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,998
I never made any fucking
promises to you!
549
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,333
Yes, you fucking well did!
550
00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:16,418
With your eyes...
551
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:19,171
and your smile and your cock!
552
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,256
- Helené?
- Don't follow me.
553
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:24,634
Stay away from my home,
my husband, my son.
554
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,470
Fuck!
555
00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:29,181
Professor Runyon? That was you?
556
00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:31,016
Jesus Christ! You saw it too?
557
00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:32,577
I'd say that's some
elephant-sized shit
558
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:33,518
hittin' the fan.
559
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,978
Yeah.
560
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:37,564
You just fucking come out
and you talk to me!
561
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:39,733
Helené!
562
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:42,110
- Excuse us.
- What, what, fucking what?
563
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:46,365
You smell like a distillery.
564
00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:48,408
You're losing your shit.
Go home, sober up!
565
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,535
I changed your shirt
566
00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:53,538
when you woke up
covered in your own vomit.
567
00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:55,916
I helped you shave your face
before your faculty meeting
568
00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:57,542
'cause your hand
was so fucking shaky!
569
00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:59,520
You need to stop talking now,
Lip... you're doing damage
570
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:01,129
- to yourself.
- You don't give a shit
571
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,507
about me.
You don't give a shit about me
572
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,550
because you don't have to...
right?
573
00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:07,552
You're just sittin' pretty
in your ivory tower,
574
00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:09,388
and I'm a fucking insect
crawling on the wall
575
00:23:09,429 --> 00:23:11,390
till you squash me, right?
576
00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:13,683
What, 'cause that makes you
feel fucking powerful?
577
00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:15,519
'Cause you fucked up
your own life,
578
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,063
and you fucking
hate yourself for it.
579
00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:20,148
And I was your ticket
outta the gutter, pal,
580
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,483
and you just blew it.
581
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:22,859
You're officially fuckin' fired!
582
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,903
Fuck you! Fuck you!
583
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,696
Fuck you, fuck... God...
584
00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,407
Fuck you!
585
00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,325
You like that, motherfucker?
586
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:31,910
Oh, you feel that shit?
587
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,745
Fuck you, Youens!
588
00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:36,415
Hey! Hey, what the hell
are you doin'?
589
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:38,458
What the fuck?
590
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,422
Fuck off!
591
00:23:43,463 --> 00:23:44,631
- Fuck! Shit!
- Don't move!
592
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,760
At that university,
593
00:23:48,802 --> 00:23:50,971
it was his exemplary actions
594
00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:52,472
and behavior
595
00:23:52,514 --> 00:23:54,266
that laid the foundation
596
00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:56,768
for his future life
in diversity.
597
00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:58,538
So you can help me get a job?
Gotta get a job.
598
00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:00,081
I came to get the details
about the job.
599
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,232
The first day a work,
you'll be cryin' like a baby.
600
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,584
I'm guessing
they're planning on having us
601
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:05,253
dump toxic waste
someplace where toxic waste
602
00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,778
should not be dumped.
603
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,756
- I think I tweaked my back.
- You're not gunnin' for
604
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,550
- Workman's Comp, are ya, kid?
- No, I-I just...
605
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,576
Good. 'Cause the comp
stands for competition
606
00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:14,536
from the Mexicans
who all want your job.
607
00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,204
- Aah!
- Next man up.
608
00:24:16,246 --> 00:24:17,956
- Phillip, Tito. Senior Intern.
- Hey.
609
00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:19,058
You can start by getting coffee.
610
00:24:19,082 --> 00:24:20,292
Four double shots of expresso.
611
00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:21,477
He doesn't like to
take the goggles off.
612
00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:22,627
Copy that.
613
00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:24,963
- Gotta piss!
- Oh, that's you, man.
614
00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:26,965
You're changing his piss bag.
615
00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:33,972
No one move. The premises
is under federal investigation.
616
00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:35,783
- What's going on?
- They're seizing the servers.
617
00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:37,160
Thought you said this was legal!
618
00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:38,477
Yeah, I guess not.
619
00:24:38,518 --> 00:24:40,228
I could use a job.
620
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:41,771
Could use another dishwasher.
621
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,648
- Shit!
- You sure about this?
622
00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:45,334
I mean, WiFi is a little
out of my comfort zone.
623
00:24:45,358 --> 00:24:47,128
It's time to get
a piece of the action.
624
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,029
They don't suspect
a fucking thing.
625
00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:50,864
The system's down.
You think they're onto us?
626
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:52,782
No, no, no, the website
just went back online.
627
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:54,385
- It probably just crashed.
- Okay, let me know
628
00:24:54,409 --> 00:24:56,828
- when it's back up.
- All right, I'm on it.
629
00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:58,222
How long till we're up
and running again?
630
00:24:58,246 --> 00:24:59,998
- We're shut down.
- Fuck me.
631
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,791
You... take care of Rocky!
632
00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:03,960
Take care of Rocky!
633
00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:09,591
- Oh, my God...
- Hey, stop!
634
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:10,967
This is my job!
635
00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:13,678
So what qualifies you
to be a sober companion?
636
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,515
I know how a drunk thinks.
637
00:25:20,393 --> 00:25:22,854
Here we go. Virgin Bloody Mary.
638
00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:24,981
- Are you positive it's virgin?
- It's absolutely,
639
00:25:25,023 --> 00:25:26,900
one hundred percent a virgin.
640
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,611
- Oh, my God!
- You told Fred the waiter
641
00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:31,047
that a virgin meant
to make it a double
642
00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:32,697
when I was in the bathroom.
643
00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,955
All right, Fredtastic.
644
00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:42,958
Let's get you outta here
before we both melt, huh?
645
00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:45,043
There we go.
646
00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,479
Come on, come on, come on.
647
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,046
Chh, chh, chh, chh, chh,
chh, chh.
648
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:51,883
Chh-chh-chh, chh-chh-chh,
chh-chh-chh.
649
00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:54,386
All right, handsome.
650
00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:57,973
Let's go ahead and prop you
up right here, all right?
651
00:25:58,014 --> 00:26:01,059
That will help you breathe
a little bit better.
652
00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:03,395
Right? Hopefully.
653
00:26:03,436 --> 00:26:05,897
Get you nice and comfy.
654
00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:09,276
There we go now.
655
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,613
Now I want you to try
and rest your eyes, okay?
656
00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:16,908
Try and rest your eyes,
get some sleep, huh?
657
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:21,246
You know, if I was anything
like your Granddad Frank,
658
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:25,667
I'd give you some special
magic juice to go to sleep.
659
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:28,336
You know, that's what he used
to give me when I was little.
660
00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:31,590
Which is why I liked
that special magic juice
661
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:33,633
so much when I got older.
662
00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:37,262
But I'm not gonna
do that to you,
663
00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:39,264
all right?
664
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:43,268
That "like father, like son"
tradition ends right here.
665
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:45,353
Why you gotta be
such an asshole?
666
00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:46,675
Apple fell where you dropped it.
667
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:49,774
Push-ups. 10 bucks in.
668
00:26:49,816 --> 00:26:51,443
- My kid'll hold.
- 20.
669
00:26:51,484 --> 00:26:52,527
Thank you.
670
00:26:52,569 --> 00:26:53,778
And go!
671
00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:54,904
One...
672
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:56,615
seven, eight...
673
00:26:56,656 --> 00:26:58,825
Nine! Bobby's done.
674
00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,244
32...
675
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,871
Oh!
676
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:06,916
Hey, can I get another shot?
677
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:08,668
Hey, can I get another?
678
00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:10,795
- Whoa!
- You look like shit.
679
00:27:10,837 --> 00:27:12,922
Lookin' like a chip off
the old block there, son.
680
00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:17,528
- You're just like me.
- You hear me?
681
00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:18,720
I'm not my fucking dad!
682
00:27:18,762 --> 00:27:20,972
Are you supposed to give
valium to a baby?
683
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,474
It always worked with you.
684
00:27:22,515 --> 00:27:24,225
Try a speedball after a bender.
685
00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,144
Next day, you'll be
movin' like a pro.
686
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:27,729
- Dine 'n dash?
- Bite and bolt.
687
00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:28,938
Take the front door.
688
00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:30,398
Do you think, in his own way,
689
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,400
Frank's actually
a pretty good dad?
690
00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:33,735
No.
691
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:35,129
I remember the first time
692
00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:36,613
- I brought you here.
- Fuck you!
693
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:37,989
You never took me skating.
694
00:27:38,031 --> 00:27:39,783
Gallaghers do not puke.
695
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:41,576
Domino effect!
696
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:44,412
- Oh!
- Ohh!
697
00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:47,082
Okay, now, where were we, huh?
698
00:27:47,123 --> 00:27:49,125
What were we talkin' about?
699
00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:50,752
We were, um...
700
00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:53,672
with Lip in college, right?
701
00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:55,757
Now, when Lip was done
with school,
702
00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:59,511
like many millennials,
he moved home
703
00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:03,473
to the comfort and stability
of his family and neighborhood.
704
00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:08,687
Hey, nicely done, Deb.
705
00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,355
Great job!
706
00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:13,316
Can someone help me get down,
please, for fuck's sake!
707
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:14,984
Lookin' for some workers
708
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:16,695
to help with
a home masonry project.
709
00:28:16,736 --> 00:28:18,822
- Frank?
- Pickax... sledge hammer.
710
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:23,803
What the fuck?
711
00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:25,161
Aah!
712
00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:27,997
Honestly,
I feel like I'm rolling.
713
00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:30,375
Did you spike
our fuckin' drinks?
714
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,502
Yeah, with Molly. It's a party.
715
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:33,854
This is how you help me
stay sober?
716
00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,231
She was acting
in your best interests.
717
00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:37,507
I don't know why
I'm even surprised.
718
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,901
I'm surprised...
I mean, since when
719
00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:40,635
have they ever shared
their drugs?
720
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,887
This is how you get down,
get down to it
721
00:28:42,929 --> 00:28:45,098
This is how you
get down, get down to it
722
00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,685
Fuck. Epic party.
723
00:28:48,727 --> 00:28:51,229
No reason not to keep it goin'.
724
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,397
Wakey, wakey.
725
00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:56,359
Monica?
726
00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:58,153
Monica? Come on, sweetheart.
727
00:28:58,194 --> 00:28:59,904
Come on.
Come on, open your eyes.
728
00:28:59,946 --> 00:29:01,114
Come on!
729
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,490
She shit herself?
730
00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:03,968
People shit themselves
when they die.
731
00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:06,035
- So she's dead.
- Yes.
732
00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:08,204
- Drug overdose?
- Massive cerebral hemorrhage.
733
00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:09,598
All that's Monica's stuff?
734
00:29:09,622 --> 00:29:11,416
Anybody got a rock
and a lighter?
735
00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:13,084
What's the tag say?
736
00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:14,377
Monica had a storage unit?
737
00:29:15,628 --> 00:29:17,881
Your inheritance.
738
00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:19,758
Frank found seven pounds of meth
739
00:29:19,799 --> 00:29:22,051
in some shitty storage locker
740
00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:23,738
that Monica had,
and now he wants to sell it.
741
00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:26,598
It's like a family heirloom...
Only drugs.
742
00:29:26,639 --> 00:29:28,075
And it's getting flushed
down the toilet!
743
00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:32,061
Nobody flushes $70,000' worth
of maternal bequest.
744
00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:33,271
-How much?
745
00:29:33,313 --> 00:29:34,731
- Lip.
- What?
746
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,275
I moved your meth.
747
00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:39,319
Got your Monica Franklins.
748
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,196
Smoked up all my meth.
749
00:29:41,237 --> 00:29:43,072
Got over your mother,
and now I'm a new man.
750
00:29:43,114 --> 00:29:44,449
Hey!
751
00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:47,118
You're the little fuckers
who stole my meth.
752
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,120
- Aw, shit!
- Hey, wait...
753
00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:51,956
Fuckin' Monica, fuckin' up
our lives, even in death.
754
00:29:51,998 --> 00:29:54,793
This meth head doesn't know
where we live.
755
00:29:54,834 --> 00:29:56,085
Hey!
756
00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:57,086
Yo!
757
00:29:57,128 --> 00:29:58,630
Uhh!
758
00:29:58,671 --> 00:30:00,757
Either she smoked it,
she sold it,
759
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:02,300
or her fucked-up family
stole it.
760
00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:03,968
And in any one of those
scenarios,
761
00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:07,472
I am still owed
70 fuckin' grand!
762
00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:08,908
- You could tell us...
- Just tell us
763
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,159
what you did with
the last two pounds of meth.
764
00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:11,410
Is this the part
where you lecture us?
765
00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:12,828
'Cause if you could just
speed it up a little...
766
00:30:12,852 --> 00:30:14,205
You wanna be a smartass,
you want my help?
767
00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:15,188
I was right.
768
00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:16,189
I was right!
769
00:30:16,231 --> 00:30:18,149
I was super fuckin' right!
770
00:30:18,191 --> 00:30:19,943
You were right,
and I was wrong, Fiona.
771
00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:21,653
Now, can you please
772
00:30:21,694 --> 00:30:23,047
tell us where you put
the rest of the drugs
773
00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,448
so that motherfucker
doesn't eat your eyeballs too.
774
00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:27,283
We're gonna need
a lotta shovels.
775
00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:28,868
Punchy notes
776
00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:31,955
Ugh! This is some
seriously sick shit.
777
00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:34,374
Yeah, no joke, Fiona.
778
00:30:34,415 --> 00:30:36,095
Oh, God... who buries
her mother with meth?
779
00:30:39,754 --> 00:30:42,382
Rock music
780
00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:49,389
Go, go! Go!
781
00:30:49,430 --> 00:30:52,392
- Go!
- Oh, my God!
782
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:58,439
Oh, careful, Carl.
Don't go too deep, all right?
783
00:30:59,232 --> 00:31:03,027
Yeah
784
00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:14,539
- Now -
785
00:31:14,581 --> 00:31:17,208
rock music
786
00:31:20,378 --> 00:31:22,714
- What is that smell?
- That stench?
787
00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:25,842
That's Monica.
And if you come near my family,
788
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:29,053
as God is my witness,
I will bury you with her.
789
00:31:29,095 --> 00:31:32,223
And by this time,
790
00:31:32,265 --> 00:31:36,227
Lip became an upstanding
member of the community
791
00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:39,731
and contributed
to the betterment of society.
792
00:31:39,772 --> 00:31:43,359
Eight hours a day
793
00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:46,237
Forty hours a week
794
00:31:47,822 --> 00:31:49,449
Jesus, what the hell, Lip?
795
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:51,570
What, you never learned
how to throw a fucking punch?
796
00:31:56,372 --> 00:31:57,874
Oh, that's it? Ohh!
797
00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:00,418
Oh, damn!
798
00:32:01,794 --> 00:32:03,514
- Come here!
- Easy, easy, easy!
799
00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:16,351
He'd grown into
a strapping young man
800
00:32:16,392 --> 00:32:18,686
who was ready to face the world
801
00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:20,772
and make something of himself.
802
00:32:20,813 --> 00:32:22,453
This is what happens
when your entire life
803
00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:24,192
goes completely to shit.
804
00:32:24,233 --> 00:32:25,693
Wanna do something
silly and stupid?
805
00:32:25,735 --> 00:32:27,236
It's cool if I, uh, wear this?
806
00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:28,297
Long as you wear nothing else.
807
00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:29,906
- Go!
- No... no!
808
00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:32,575
I kinda have to stay soberish.
809
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,953
Why? You driving
heavy machinery later tonight?
810
00:32:34,994 --> 00:32:37,038
If your vagina's heavy
machinery, then yeah, I am.
811
00:32:39,666 --> 00:32:42,001
This is gonna be funny.
812
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:43,687
Hi, Lip. Are you gonna
have sex with my sister?
813
00:32:43,711 --> 00:32:45,171
- Ha...
- I'm glad you're
814
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:46,815
- her new boyfriend.
- I'm not her boyfriend.
815
00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:47,983
You gonna keep it fun
and casual?
816
00:32:48,007 --> 00:32:50,009
I could casually
go down on you later.
817
00:32:50,051 --> 00:32:52,136
Bring your tongue.
818
00:32:52,178 --> 00:32:54,138
Oh, fucking hell.
819
00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:55,431
Don't forget anal.
820
00:32:57,016 --> 00:32:58,935
We're not doing anal.
821
00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,245
- Unbelievable.
- You never heard of
822
00:33:00,269 --> 00:33:01,562
female ejaculation?
823
00:33:01,604 --> 00:33:03,314
That's the white whale!
824
00:33:03,356 --> 00:33:05,775
Every guys dreams of it, but
only a few ever get the chance.
825
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,986
Oh, no, I-I just thought
it was a myth.
826
00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:09,487
Jesus, you think
I get goosebumps
827
00:33:09,529 --> 00:33:11,322
every time you whip out
your magic cock?
828
00:33:11,364 --> 00:33:13,658
Ah. Mind... blown.
829
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:15,326
Sounds fun.
830
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:16,995
- You've been drinking?
- No. Hey.
831
00:33:17,036 --> 00:33:18,263
I already have
one out-of-control addict
832
00:33:18,287 --> 00:33:20,790
in my life... I don't need two.
833
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,184
Hey, man, are we
in the north side?
834
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:23,626
You broke into my home?
835
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:24,836
- What?
- Get some help.
836
00:33:24,877 --> 00:33:26,004
Please get help.
837
00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:30,675
Coming in, buddy?
838
00:33:34,929 --> 00:33:37,199
I woke up this morning feeling
like I really needed a drink.
839
00:33:37,223 --> 00:33:38,474
Good with your hands?
840
00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:41,477
Rock music
841
00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:43,980
- Hi.
- Fuck off, runt.
842
00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:46,065
You gonna fix that bike
or fuck it?
843
00:33:46,107 --> 00:33:48,210
- What's your problem?
- He's been yappin' about ass
844
00:33:48,234 --> 00:33:49,861
- nonstop.
- You gotta stay busy, man.
845
00:33:49,902 --> 00:33:52,405
I need some fuckin' pussy!
846
00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:54,699
Get upstairs. Now.
847
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,368
Rock music
848
00:33:57,410 --> 00:33:59,203
Oh...
849
00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:02,683
Think you can hit me
a little less?
850
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:03,916
Shut up!
851
00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:06,210
- Ohh, damn it!
- Say it, bitch!
852
00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:08,838
- See you at the shop, runt.
- Yeah... uh...
853
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,232
You know you got
a little scratch on your...
854
00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:11,591
Hey, piss off.
855
00:34:13,092 --> 00:34:14,802
You ever hear of a safe word?
856
00:34:14,844 --> 00:34:16,179
Yeah. How 'bout stop?
857
00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:17,638
Ooh...
858
00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:21,225
Shit!
859
00:34:21,267 --> 00:34:22,560
Oh!
860
00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:23,895
Should we help 'em?
861
00:34:23,936 --> 00:34:25,480
Sounds voluntary.
862
00:34:25,521 --> 00:34:27,857
- Barb?
- Oh, hey, hi.
863
00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,192
- Hey.
- How's it going, man?
864
00:34:29,233 --> 00:34:30,419
- It's all right.
- Have a seat.
865
00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:32,528
Thanks. Uh...
866
00:34:32,570 --> 00:34:33,756
Thanks for... for meeting me,
you know.
867
00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,907
Brad spoke very highly of you,
so...
868
00:34:35,948 --> 00:34:38,367
I-I didn't know I could
have a woman as a sponsor.
869
00:34:38,409 --> 00:34:40,119
Oh, yeah. Anybody's a sponsor
as long as
870
00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:43,122
there is no risk of falling
in love with that person.
871
00:34:43,164 --> 00:34:45,583
Well, you never know, right?
872
00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:47,543
Ah... fat chance, honey.
873
00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:50,797
So... what are we doing here?
874
00:34:50,838 --> 00:34:53,424
Uh, well...
875
00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:55,885
I-I got some shit goin' on,
you know.
876
00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,012
I got this professor.
He got carted off to prison.
877
00:34:58,054 --> 00:34:59,305
Come on, you have court today.
878
00:34:59,347 --> 00:35:00,890
I got this ex
who's dating this guy
879
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:02,618
who just got some other
girl pregnant, so...
880
00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:05,770
I'm sorry, did I just walk into
an episode of Gossip Girl?
881
00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:07,355
I-I'm sharing, you know.
882
00:35:07,396 --> 00:35:09,482
- Where's Eddie?
- She quit.
883
00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:11,818
Took off for Cabo with some guy
she met at Sturgis.
884
00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:14,129
- She coming back for the kid?
- Should call Social Services
885
00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:15,756
- to come pick her up.
- Why don't you come stay
886
00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:17,782
- with me for a couple days?
- That'd be cool.
887
00:35:17,824 --> 00:35:19,117
Coming?
888
00:35:22,745 --> 00:35:24,622
- Say hi, Ted.
- Hey.
889
00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:25,915
Oh, hell, no. Bye, Ted.
890
00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,376
- Hey!
- He has a beard.
891
00:35:28,417 --> 00:35:29,544
- How do I look?
- Stupid.
892
00:35:29,585 --> 00:35:30,729
Thanks.
That's what I was goin' for.
893
00:35:30,753 --> 00:35:31,879
What is it? What's going on?
894
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,131
They let my dad out.
895
00:35:33,172 --> 00:35:34,465
Is... is it true
896
00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:35,716
that you like to beat women?
897
00:35:35,758 --> 00:35:36,968
I guess what I'm asking is
898
00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:38,636
are you a little bitch
woman-beat...
899
00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:43,349
You hear me? A fuckin' dead man!
900
00:35:44,350 --> 00:35:46,102
How'd we do?
901
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,812
- He swung first.
- Oh, yeah?
902
00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:49,605
Uh, yeah, I'd like to
report an assault.
903
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:51,149
Charlie got some girl pregnant.
904
00:35:51,190 --> 00:35:52,692
She just had the fuckin' baby.
905
00:35:52,733 --> 00:35:54,610
Are you still delivering
those special pizzas?
906
00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:56,320
Have it there in under 30.
907
00:35:56,362 --> 00:35:58,132
Charlie, an addict.
I got a delivery.
908
00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:00,741
A gram of coke. On a pizza.
909
00:36:00,783 --> 00:36:02,886
I didn't do it yet... I don't
know what to do with it.
910
00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:05,163
So I called my sponsor...
911
00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:07,165
I was gonna sabotage Charlie.
Planted coke on him.
912
00:36:07,206 --> 00:36:09,333
Then I felt guilty.
Broke into his apartment.
913
00:36:09,375 --> 00:36:11,055
Flushed the drugs.
Got attacked by his dog.
914
00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:13,754
Ow!
915
00:36:13,796 --> 00:36:14,839
Let go!
916
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:16,883
God... fuck!
917
00:36:16,924 --> 00:36:19,343
Hey, I-I gotta go, all right?
My kid's in the emergency room.
918
00:36:19,385 --> 00:36:20,946
- You have a kid?
- We'll get her over to X-ray
919
00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:22,513
- and set the arm.
- Okay.
920
00:36:22,555 --> 00:36:24,199
And we can only release her
to a parent or legal guardian.
921
00:36:24,223 --> 00:36:25,516
Okay, sweetie.
922
00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:32,106
Exciting music
923
00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:34,025
Hey!
924
00:36:34,066 --> 00:36:35,943
Come on, we're gonna hide.
925
00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:38,863
Baby, why you got me so
shook shook up, yeah
926
00:36:41,407 --> 00:36:43,868
Oh oh oh oh
927
00:36:43,910 --> 00:36:46,704
Oh
928
00:36:46,746 --> 00:36:49,373
If your mom doesn't come back,
do you wanna stay with me here?
929
00:36:49,415 --> 00:36:51,375
Yeah. That'd be good.
930
00:36:52,919 --> 00:36:54,503
This is what I'm going through.
931
00:36:54,545 --> 00:36:56,881
Oh... what the hell
are you talking about, man?
932
00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:59,175
You're not going through
any of that crap.
933
00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:01,469
I mean, you have convinced
yourself that you are.
934
00:37:01,510 --> 00:37:03,346
- Uh-huh.
- It's, uh, fucking classic
935
00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:05,014
co-dependence.
936
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:06,724
Mom?
937
00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:09,685
Soft music
938
00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:13,481
I knew you'd come back for me.
939
00:37:13,522 --> 00:37:15,066
Oh, my girl.
940
00:37:21,739 --> 00:37:23,908
I think you should give Charlie
one last chance.
941
00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:26,410
- What?
- I've been drunk...
942
00:37:26,452 --> 00:37:29,538
or high almost every day
since I was 12 years old.
943
00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:31,582
- Do you fucking love me?
- I don't know.
944
00:37:31,624 --> 00:37:33,167
- I want to.
- Jesus.
945
00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:34,436
Okay? And it's because
I care about you.
946
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:37,088
Just go, Lip!
947
00:37:37,129 --> 00:37:38,756
Please.
948
00:37:38,798 --> 00:37:39,924
Oh, my God.
949
00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:42,093
I'm sorry.
950
00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:47,348
Co-dependent, huh?
951
00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:49,433
Try some Greek Goddess.
952
00:37:51,644 --> 00:37:52,853
The fuck is in this?
953
00:37:52,895 --> 00:37:54,605
Hey.
954
00:37:54,647 --> 00:37:55,940
Hey.
955
00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:57,441
Is he better?
956
00:37:57,483 --> 00:37:59,235
A little bit.
957
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,821
Ah. Do you want me
to read to him now?
958
00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:03,948
No, it's all right.
959
00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:06,993
I'm telling him my own story.
960
00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,995
- Oh, yeah?
- Uh, yeah.
961
00:38:09,036 --> 00:38:10,413
Just about to get
to the best part.
962
00:38:10,454 --> 00:38:12,373
Okay, well...
963
00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:14,500
don't let me stop you.
964
00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:20,256
Now, even though Lip...
965
00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:21,841
was a model citizen
966
00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:24,218
and was living
the American dream...
967
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:26,762
- Wait. This is about you?
- Shh, shh, shh.
968
00:38:26,804 --> 00:38:29,890
He knew that something
was missing
969
00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:31,934
in his life,
970
00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:35,271
that someone was missing
in his life.
971
00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:37,315
His heart was so full of love,
972
00:38:37,356 --> 00:38:39,608
and he wanted to
share that love,
973
00:38:39,650 --> 00:38:43,988
you know, with a kind
and special woman.
974
00:38:45,489 --> 00:38:47,158
That's me.
975
00:38:47,199 --> 00:38:49,827
- Uh, maid of honor?
- Yep, her sister, Tami.
976
00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:54,165
So you and Tami
hit it off at the wedding.
977
00:38:54,206 --> 00:38:55,434
Yeah. Yeah, she's cute.
978
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:56,459
- Come on.
- Where?
979
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:57,960
The maid of honor and best man
980
00:38:58,002 --> 00:38:59,337
always hook up at these things.
981
00:38:59,378 --> 00:39:00,588
Take her out on a real date.
982
00:39:00,629 --> 00:39:01,922
Go out for a steak or something.
983
00:39:01,964 --> 00:39:04,258
- You've done this before?
- Seven times.
984
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:06,802
You want my wedding pussy,
don't you?
985
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:09,722
There's nothing like
a good woman to ground you.
986
00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:11,140
- Fuck!
- Could be the one.
987
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,433
You never know.
988
00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:14,685
Okay, let's finish this thing.
989
00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:15,996
- I need another drink.
- Look, I thought maybe
990
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:18,189
you'd wanna, uh...
go out to dinner.
991
00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:20,107
- Nah, I'm good.
- What?
992
00:39:20,149 --> 00:39:22,318
- You fuck for shit.
- I-I don't fuck for shit.
993
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,737
Oh, yeah, no, you fuck for shit.
994
00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:26,530
You were all like,
jab, jab, jab.
995
00:39:26,572 --> 00:39:28,425
- Jab-jab-jab-jab-jab.
- I was just trying to be
996
00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:29,926
- a nice guy.
- Well, then you should have
997
00:39:29,950 --> 00:39:31,410
fucked me good and hard,
998
00:39:31,452 --> 00:39:33,412
'cause that would have been
a nice guy.
999
00:39:33,454 --> 00:39:35,081
You know, have a good life,
Pukey.
1000
00:39:35,122 --> 00:39:36,916
Yeah, see ya later, Jabby.
1001
00:39:36,957 --> 00:39:40,044
You guys invited Jabby? Jabby!
1002
00:39:40,086 --> 00:39:42,213
Last time I saw you,
you asked me to dinner.
1003
00:39:42,254 --> 00:39:43,565
- That offer still good?
- Why, you wanna go
1004
00:39:43,589 --> 00:39:45,049
- on a date now?
- Fuck me. I mean,
1005
00:39:45,091 --> 00:39:46,384
I must be really hard up.
1006
00:39:46,425 --> 00:39:47,903
Wanna try to fuck me
properly this time?
1007
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:48,927
What, like now?
1008
00:39:52,723 --> 00:39:54,517
- So?
- Eh.
1009
00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:56,227
- Six outta ten?
- What?
1010
00:39:56,268 --> 00:39:57,895
That's it.
We're going again, all right?
1011
00:39:57,937 --> 00:39:59,688
And, I'm not letting you
outta this car
1012
00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:01,399
until I get a ten.
1013
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,150
- This is my car, punk.
- Hey, I don't care
1014
00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:05,236
- how long this takes.
- Okay, well, wake me
1015
00:40:05,277 --> 00:40:07,321
when it's over.
1016
00:40:09,865 --> 00:40:10,908
Oh!
1017
00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:13,577
Hey, Jabby.
1018
00:40:13,619 --> 00:40:15,037
One of us needs to have
an apartment
1019
00:40:15,079 --> 00:40:16,956
so that we have a fuck pad,
so man up.
1020
00:40:16,997 --> 00:40:19,291
This guy has maybe the biggest
dick I've ever seen.
1021
00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:22,253
It's bulging through his pants
like a fucking balloon animal.
1022
00:40:22,294 --> 00:40:23,879
Don't look, though. Don't look!
1023
00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:26,424
Whoa! No way that's real.
1024
00:40:26,465 --> 00:40:27,967
- It's real.
- We gotta go.
1025
00:40:28,008 --> 00:40:30,320
- I can't live here, all right?
- If you don't believe me...
1026
00:40:30,344 --> 00:40:32,239
Hey, no, we believe you,
man, we believe you, okay?
1027
00:40:32,263 --> 00:40:33,431
That's not real!
1028
00:40:33,472 --> 00:40:34,658
- It's not.
- Either way, I don't want
1029
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:35,933
that guy fixing my sink.
1030
00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:37,435
You know, I've been
thinking about
1031
00:40:37,476 --> 00:40:38,620
turning our basement
into a bedroom.
1032
00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:40,271
This could work, right?
1033
00:40:40,312 --> 00:40:42,440
Okay, was Silence of the Lambs
filmed down here?
1034
00:40:42,481 --> 00:40:43,774
I mean, where's the pit?
1035
00:40:43,816 --> 00:40:45,043
You know, it's actually
out back.
1036
00:40:45,067 --> 00:40:46,110
Come on, I'll show ya.
1037
00:40:46,152 --> 00:40:47,987
So you've got a bar of soap
1038
00:40:48,028 --> 00:40:49,548
with five different colors
of pubes on it.
1039
00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:51,657
Wait, you guys can't all...
share one bar of soap.
1040
00:40:51,699 --> 00:40:53,844
No, I don't... that's why I have
the dishwashing liquid.
1041
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:55,554
- What is this?
- It's a box of clean underwear.
1042
00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:57,472
Yeah, we share our underwear.
I don't have time to fold.
1043
00:40:57,496 --> 00:40:58,372
- You, Debs?
- Nope.
1044
00:40:58,414 --> 00:41:00,124
What the fuck is that?
1045
00:41:00,166 --> 00:41:01,584
What, what?
1046
00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:03,127
That scratching noise.
1047
00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:08,466
There. Fixed it.
1048
00:41:08,507 --> 00:41:10,068
So what's the deal
with you and my sister?
1049
00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:11,403
I don't think we have a deal.
1050
00:41:11,427 --> 00:41:13,137
Like, are you fucking
other people?
1051
00:41:13,179 --> 00:41:15,598
Back off, Corey.
He doesn't want the syph.
1052
00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:19,977
- Who's Boone?
- Well, right now
1053
00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:21,812
he's the guy kissing your chick.
1054
00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:25,816
- He really likes you.
- I'm extremely likeable.
1055
00:41:25,858 --> 00:41:27,651
You seem to be handling
yourself pretty well.
1056
00:41:27,693 --> 00:41:28,962
Look, she's not my girlfriend,
all right?
1057
00:41:28,986 --> 00:41:30,154
We can fuck whoever we want.
1058
00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:31,530
Oh, you are fucking
other people.
1059
00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:37,203
I fucked your sister.
1060
00:41:37,244 --> 00:41:39,163
You're... really working hard
1061
00:41:39,205 --> 00:41:40,789
for that Tamietti hat trick.
1062
00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:42,875
Jesus, that doesn't bother you?
1063
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:44,668
It bothers me.
1064
00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:46,837
Bothers me that you
fucked Corey.
1065
00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,506
I mean...
1066
00:41:48,547 --> 00:41:50,758
of course it bothers me,
Christ, I...
1067
00:41:50,799 --> 00:41:52,676
Maybe just don't fuck Boone
anymore.
1068
00:41:52,718 --> 00:41:54,512
Fine.
1069
00:41:54,553 --> 00:41:56,430
Don't fuck Corey anymore.
1070
00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:59,350
Yeah, fine. Fine.
1071
00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:11,111
Stop staring at me, weirdo.
1072
00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:17,451
And their life... was peaches
and roses all the time.
1073
00:42:17,493 --> 00:42:19,537
And when they found out
that they were with child...
1074
00:42:19,578 --> 00:42:20,996
Fuck!
1075
00:42:21,038 --> 00:42:24,375
Rainbows appeared
as if from nowhere,
1076
00:42:24,416 --> 00:42:27,169
and birds sang...
1077
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:30,923
and little woodland creatures
frolicked.
1078
00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:32,234
- I'm pregnant.
- Tami's pregnant.
1079
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:33,551
She's pregnant.
1080
00:42:33,592 --> 00:42:35,553
- Tami's pregnant.
- No shit?
1081
00:42:35,594 --> 00:42:36,887
- Yeah.
- Aw, man.
1082
00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:39,598
I got a test, and I saw
1083
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,393
the biggest, bluest plus sign
I've ever seen.
1084
00:42:42,434 --> 00:42:44,228
- Is it yours?
- You sure it's mine?
1085
00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:46,188
- Yeah.
- She says it is.
1086
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:48,041
I make Boone wear a condom.
He's been in the Philippines.
1087
00:42:48,065 --> 00:42:49,567
I double-bag that shit.
1088
00:42:49,608 --> 00:42:51,569
Holy shit. Is she gonna keep it?
1089
00:42:51,610 --> 00:42:53,279
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
1090
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,738
You having the baby or no?
1091
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:56,073
The last thing I need in my life
1092
00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:57,259
is a man telling me what to do.
1093
00:42:57,283 --> 00:42:59,827
Hey, Tami. How ya doin'?
1094
00:42:59,868 --> 00:43:02,037
It's none of your
fucking business, Brad.
1095
00:43:02,079 --> 00:43:03,890
If you decide to have the baby,
I wanna make damn sure
1096
00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:05,600
- it has a father.
- I don't wanna have a baby
1097
00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:07,167
just to save my tits!
1098
00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:08,586
Tami's having this baby,
1099
00:43:08,627 --> 00:43:09,854
and I need to know
what your plan is.
1100
00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:10,838
Baby?
1101
00:43:10,879 --> 00:43:12,423
He doesn't know shit.
1102
00:43:12,464 --> 00:43:14,192
You've been kicking my ass
ever since you got pregnant.
1103
00:43:14,216 --> 00:43:16,111
I've been kicking your ass
since the first day we met.
1104
00:43:16,135 --> 00:43:17,571
I can't believe you got
Tami pregnant.
1105
00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,221
- Why do you keep saying that?
- Well...
1106
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:21,181
Hey, honey! Core.
1107
00:43:21,223 --> 00:43:22,742
I'm terrified of these women.
1108
00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:23,785
- It's her decision.
- Goddamn right
1109
00:43:23,809 --> 00:43:25,102
it's her decision.
1110
00:43:25,144 --> 00:43:27,062
- You better now ghost her.
- I won't.
1111
00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:29,189
If you hurt her,
we will fuck you up.
1112
00:43:29,231 --> 00:43:31,066
- We will fuck you up.
- I'm trying to do
1113
00:43:31,108 --> 00:43:33,611
- the right thing.
- Don't fuck with us.
1114
00:43:33,652 --> 00:43:35,112
The goon squad gone?
1115
00:43:35,154 --> 00:43:36,572
Yeah.
1116
00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:38,532
I'm gonna have the baby.
1117
00:43:45,831 --> 00:43:47,416
Good.
1118
00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:48,792
What would I even name it?
1119
00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:50,628
We talkin' a boy or a girl?
1120
00:43:50,669 --> 00:43:52,147
I don't know.
Like, pretend it's a boy.
1121
00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:54,131
- Hambone.
- Wilmoth?
1122
00:43:54,173 --> 00:43:55,758
- Bird?
- Who the hell
1123
00:43:55,799 --> 00:43:57,343
names their kid Bird?
I take it back.
1124
00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,762
I will not be there
for our child, all right?
1125
00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:01,972
I'm hungry. Do you wanna
get something to eat?
1126
00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:03,390
I am fucking famished.
1127
00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:04,892
I'm starving. I need food.
1128
00:44:04,933 --> 00:44:06,060
You like popcorn shrimp?
1129
00:44:06,101 --> 00:44:07,645
I mean, I work in a hair salon.
1130
00:44:07,686 --> 00:44:09,313
I breathe bleach fumes all day.
1131
00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:10,957
This baby's gonna come out
with like five heads
1132
00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:12,334
- and a dorsal fin.
- You know that mask
1133
00:44:12,358 --> 00:44:13,942
is kinda freaky, right? - Yeah.
1134
00:44:13,984 --> 00:44:16,004
Well, it's better than junior
being born with flippers
1135
00:44:16,028 --> 00:44:17,321
and a tail.
1136
00:44:17,363 --> 00:44:19,073
Oh, yeah, baby!
1137
00:44:19,114 --> 00:44:20,783
I'm so very, very wet.
1138
00:44:20,824 --> 00:44:22,326
I slipped out again. I slipped.
1139
00:44:22,368 --> 00:44:24,161
- Hang on, let me get on top.
- All right.
1140
00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:26,830
She wants to have sex
all the time, all right?
1141
00:44:26,872 --> 00:44:28,672
Three times last night
and again this morning.
1142
00:44:28,707 --> 00:44:30,626
Y-w-whoa, whoa...
I just felt the baby kick.
1143
00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:32,586
No, focus.
1144
00:44:32,628 --> 00:44:35,005
Baby likes it. Yeah.
1145
00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:39,986
She's so fucking nice
to me all the time, you know?
1146
00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:43,222
It's all honey, sweetie.
She called me boo this morning.
1147
00:44:43,263 --> 00:44:45,391
I mean, it's alien abduction
movie creepy.
1148
00:44:45,432 --> 00:44:47,393
- I don't like it.
- It won't last.
1149
00:44:47,434 --> 00:44:49,853
Once the baby's born,
with the sleep deprivation,
1150
00:44:49,895 --> 00:44:51,563
and Tami being kind of a
bitch...
1151
00:44:51,605 --> 00:44:53,315
Ah... eh...
1152
00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:55,359
- ooh... ooh...
- Just breathe.
1153
00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:56,860
Ah...
1154
00:44:56,902 --> 00:44:58,862
You think it's real this time?
1155
00:44:58,904 --> 00:45:01,865
Just shut the fuck up and find
a goddamn parking spot!
1156
00:45:01,907 --> 00:45:04,118
She's back!
1157
00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:09,206
Rock music
1158
00:45:13,502 --> 00:45:14,795
Can you walk? Can you walk?
1159
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:16,046
- Yes.
- Yeah?
1160
00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:18,173
- Of course I can walk.
- Can you?
1161
00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:20,134
- Aah!
- Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
1162
00:45:20,175 --> 00:45:22,404
- Should you be squatting?
- Ahh. Did you call my sister?
1163
00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:24,054
- No. Cami? No. No, no, no.
- Aah.
1164
00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:25,889
- 'Scuse me!
- I don't want you in there
1165
00:45:25,931 --> 00:45:29,184
staring down my cooch
with a baby head popping out
1166
00:45:29,226 --> 00:45:31,395
while I shit in a hospital bed.
1167
00:45:31,437 --> 00:45:33,230
All right, I'm gonna
find you a wheelchair
1168
00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:35,566
so you don't have the baby
in the parking lot, all right?
1169
00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:41,530
Aah... mmm...
1170
00:45:43,949 --> 00:45:45,909
- Are you with Ms. Tamietti?
- Yeah, yeah.
1171
00:45:45,951 --> 00:45:47,453
Get your ass in here.
1172
00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:49,264
We're performing
an emergency C-section.
1173
00:45:49,288 --> 00:45:50,765
We have to get
this baby out now.
1174
00:45:50,789 --> 00:45:52,308
No. No, no,
I'm not having a caesarian.
1175
00:45:52,332 --> 00:45:54,436
- I'm having my baby naturally.
- That's not going to happen,
1176
00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:55,919
Tami. Sign it.
1177
00:45:55,961 --> 00:45:57,605
- I-I'm not really her, uh...
- Are you the father?
1178
00:45:57,629 --> 00:45:59,631
- Yeah. Yes.
- Then you sign it.
1179
00:45:59,673 --> 00:46:01,341
Think I'd make a shitty dad?
1180
00:46:01,383 --> 00:46:03,677
What? No.
You'd make a great dad.
1181
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:05,137
I thought, since you were
1182
00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:07,848
- a great father that you...
- Thank you.
1183
00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:09,433
- I want sushi...
- Yeah?
1184
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:11,268
Disneyland.
1185
00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:19,568
Soft music
1186
00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:22,613
I didn't have
much of a role model at home.
1187
00:46:23,989 --> 00:46:25,365
- Frank.
- Yeah.
1188
00:46:25,407 --> 00:46:27,201
No shit.
1189
00:46:27,242 --> 00:46:30,704
Your sweet time
1190
00:46:30,746 --> 00:46:32,748
'Cause you don't know
1191
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:36,376
What you're looking for
1192
00:46:36,418 --> 00:46:38,086
You just love 'em, man.
1193
00:46:38,128 --> 00:46:39,630
So your dreams stop...
1194
00:46:39,671 --> 00:46:42,049
It's hard to fuck 'em up
if you just love 'em.
1195
00:46:44,092 --> 00:46:45,594
You think you can do that?
1196
00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:48,555
Said come by
1197
00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:51,183
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I think so too.
1198
00:46:52,518 --> 00:46:54,645
I don't know why
1199
00:46:54,686 --> 00:46:56,188
Boy or girl?
1200
00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:58,315
Boy.
1201
00:46:58,357 --> 00:47:00,651
Are you sure it's yours?
1202
00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:05,322
Hey, he fell asleep.
1203
00:47:08,283 --> 00:47:09,868
You too.
1204
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,961
When Lip Gallagher
1205
00:47:19,002 --> 00:47:22,214
looked at his sleeping son
and girlfriend,
1206
00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:24,258
and he knew that his journey
1207
00:47:24,299 --> 00:47:28,178
had led him to this moment...
1208
00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:30,514
right here
1209
00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:32,641
and right now...
1210
00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:38,522
He wouldn't change a thing.
1211
00:47:40,148 --> 00:47:41,859
Shit.
1212
00:47:41,900 --> 00:47:43,443
- Oh.
- Oh, my...
1213
00:47:43,485 --> 00:47:44,862
Seriously, Fred?
1214
00:47:44,903 --> 00:47:47,281
I'm gonna go to the bathroom
real quick, okay?
1215
00:47:47,322 --> 00:47:48,782
Okay?
1216
00:47:48,824 --> 00:47:50,701
- Everything hurts. Aah!
- All right.
1217
00:47:50,742 --> 00:47:52,995
Shit. Seriously, I lost my baby?
1218
00:47:53,036 --> 00:47:54,872
I feel like my boobs
are gonna explode.
1219
00:47:54,913 --> 00:47:56,498
Whoa!
1220
00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,375
Why do you hate me, huh?
1221
00:47:59,459 --> 00:48:01,128
Here you go, here you go.
1222
00:48:01,169 --> 00:48:02,379
You take your dad's fake tit,
1223
00:48:02,421 --> 00:48:03,922
but you don't want
the real deal?
1224
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:05,716
You have six to eight
minutes... tops.
1225
00:48:05,757 --> 00:48:08,260
Mmm. Mm... fuck.
1226
00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:11,221
I'm tired, you know?
1227
00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:12,764
Welcome to parenthood.
1228
00:48:32,117 --> 00:48:34,578
They all lived...
1229
00:48:34,620 --> 00:48:37,748
moderately happy ever after.
1230
00:48:38,415 --> 00:48:41,919
- Tex Williams' "Smoke! Smoke!
- Smoke!
1231
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,254
Now, I'm a fella
with a heart of gold
1232
00:48:44,296 --> 00:48:45,940
With the ways of a
gentleman, I've been told
1233
00:48:45,964 --> 00:48:48,050
The kind of a feller that
wouldn't even harm a flea
1234
00:48:49,801 --> 00:48:51,345
But if me and a certain
character met
1235
00:48:51,386 --> 00:48:53,388
The guy that invented
the cigarette
1236
00:48:53,430 --> 00:48:55,599
I'd murder that son of a gun
in the first degree
1237
00:48:57,476 --> 00:48:59,078
'Course it ain't 'cause
I don't smoke myself
1238
00:48:59,102 --> 00:49:00,812
And I don't reckon
they hinder your health
1239
00:49:00,854 --> 00:49:03,106
But I've smoked 'em all my
life and I ain't dead yet
1240
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,485
But nicotine slaves
are all the same
1241
00:49:06,526 --> 00:49:08,862
At a pettin' party
or a poker game
1242
00:49:08,904 --> 00:49:11,198
Everything's gotta stop
while they smoke a cigarette
1243
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:12,783
Smoke?
1244
00:49:12,824 --> 00:49:14,826
Smoke, smoke, smoke
that cigarette
1245
00:49:14,868 --> 00:49:16,662
'Scuse me.
I'm gonna go get a smoke.
1246
00:49:16,703 --> 00:49:19,915
Puff, puff, puff and if you
smoke yourself to death
1247
00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:21,792
Tell St. Peter
at the Golden Gate
1248
00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:23,877
That you hates to make him wait
1249
00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:26,630
You've gotta have
another cigarette
1250
00:49:26,672 --> 00:49:28,674
Your dedication
to nicotine is admirable.
1251
00:49:28,715 --> 00:49:30,384
Let me get a pack a Camels.
1252
00:49:30,425 --> 00:49:32,678
I prefer carcinogens
to endorphins.
1253
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:34,238
Let me get a pack
of American Spirits too.
1254
00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:35,406
You smoked my whole
fuckin' pack.
1255
00:49:35,430 --> 00:49:37,307
Some Marlboros. Some Winstons.
1256
00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:39,434
Throw some, uh, Dunhills
in there.
1257
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,331
- What are you doing?
- I need to wash my junk.
1258
00:49:43,355 --> 00:49:45,732
Smoke, smoke, smoke
that cigarette
1259
00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:47,651
Who's never smoked
a cigarette before?
1260
00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:48,986
- Me!
- Me!
1261
00:49:49,027 --> 00:49:50,821
Oh, you haven't?
Okay, well, the first one's
1262
00:49:50,862 --> 00:49:52,507
the hardest, but you guys
are gonna be great.
1263
00:49:52,531 --> 00:49:54,408
Come on, follow your Aunty Tami.
1264
00:49:54,449 --> 00:49:57,327
You've gotta have
another cigarette
1265
00:50:05,627 --> 00:50:07,355
You know the way
you smoke cigarettes,
1266
00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:08,606
it'll be a miracle
if you make it to 40.
1267
00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,007
- I'll quit.
- Right.
1268
00:50:12,926 --> 00:50:14,511
You're only supposed to wear
1269
00:50:14,553 --> 00:50:16,513
one of those nicotine
patches at a time.
1270
00:50:16,555 --> 00:50:18,473
Got one of these vape things
from Carl.
1271
00:50:18,515 --> 00:50:20,183
Trying to quit smokin' for Fred.
1272
00:50:20,225 --> 00:50:21,977
Aren't those things worse
for you?
1273
00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:26,189
Fuck, that shit's strong.
1274
00:50:28,734 --> 00:50:30,819
She was oh, so far
from a chunk of ice
1275
00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:32,654
Our smoochin' party
was goin' real nice
1276
00:50:32,696 --> 00:50:35,032
So help me Hannah
I'd have been there yet
1277
00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:38,368
I give her a kiss
and a little squeeze
1278
00:50:38,410 --> 00:50:40,203
She said, "Tex,
excuse me, please
1279
00:50:40,245 --> 00:50:42,456
But I just gotta have
a fix, a cigarette"
1280
00:50:44,124 --> 00:50:48,128
Smoke, smoke, smoke
that cigarette
1281
00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:51,548
Puff, puff, puff, and if
you smoke yourself to death
1282
00:50:51,590 --> 00:50:53,300
Tell St. Peter
at the Golden Gate
1283
00:50:53,341 --> 00:50:55,552
That you hates to make him wait
1284
00:50:55,594 --> 00:50:58,972
You've gotta have
another cigarette
1285
00:51:00,915 --> 00:51:02,915
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1285
00:51:03,305 --> 00:52:03,760
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