All language subtitles for Konto ga Hajimaru S01E04 720p WEB-DL AAC H.264-NSBC

Life's Punchline (Skit Begins)
Episode #4
Translations: neet21
QC: tsunaideiku

The skit is titled, Stray Cat.
Please enjoy.

[Feral cat]
Oh, there is a stray cat over there.

- [Feral cat] Hey! Stray cat!
- [Stray cat] You shut up.

You're a stray cat too, right?

I've never been abandoned before.

I've been a feral cat since I was born.

- A mad cat's shown up.
- Oh, what's your name?

Before asking for other's names,
you should tell them your own.

Feral cats don't have names.
So, what's your name?

Tama.

- Tama?! What a lame name!
- Shut up.

If I were you, I'd ignore my owner

until they suggest a more refined, cool name.

You've never had an owner before
so don't speak so highly of yourself.

It's not that I've never had an owner,

It's just that I'm the one who chooses my owner.

I'm after a beautiful CEO who's willing to provide
me with premium canned food daily.

Shut up.
Don't talk to me.

I don't want anyone to think I'm friends with you.

If they think so,

I'm not likely to be picked up by a new owner.

Okay, I'm sorry, Tama!
I'm sorry, Tama!

It pisses me off when you call my name like that!

Bring it on, Tama!

- Hiss~!
- What? You trying to pick a fight with me?

Sis, Macbeth's skit you were watching earlier ...

You mean the one with the stray cat?

It's really different from their other skits, right?

Hey! You know you're amazing, Tsumugi!

- Don't you think you haven that ability?
- What ability?

The ability to understand Macbeth.

When would that actually be a useful ability?

The scripts for the Macbeth skits,

Haruto wrote them all, but

Shunta wrote the one for The Abandoned Cat.

- He wrote it?
- Yeah.

Well, it's a rumor that all Macbeth fans know.

So, do you know what his favorite food is?

Of course, I do.
Ramen and popcorn.

That's just what you have seen
on the outside, right?

What do you mean?

Do you know what meal it is that he always
wants to eat when he's drunk?

It's unlikely that the meal he wants to eat

when he's drunk is really his favorite food.

So there are some things you
don't know about Macbeth.

You're annoying.

Bringing up your order.

Did something good happen?

Enjoy your drink.

I got the chance to talk with my brother
for the first time in a while.

He's been cooped up in his room for a long time,

so I haven't had a conversation
with him in a while.

Oh, I see.

Congratulations.

I was wondering what he wanted to talk with me,

and turned out he told me to continue with Macbeth.

Seriously?

Is there a chance you'll continue?

There is.

I've been told by our manager from the company

to reconsider canceling the disbandment.

Please continue.
I want you guys to continue.

Sorry, that was rude of me.

So, what you want to consult me on?

It's too early to start talking,
let's drink a little more first.

Yeah, I have something I want
to consult you on too.

If you're both asking for advice,
it's gotta be that, right?

It's not about that.

Aren't you asking me to be the
mediator for your wedding?

I said it's not about that!

I haven't even decided whether
to marry Junpei or not yet.

What!?

Seriously.

Stop joking about that.

- Did you think she was joking?
- You shut up, roast that yakitori.

- You moron!
- What?

Can we talk about something unrelated?

Why is your group's name Macbeth again?

- Haven't you told him?
- Why should I?

- Who do you think came up with the name?
- Haruto, right?

Wrong, it was me.

- Huh? You came up with it?
- Yep.

Do you know when we decided
to name our group Macbeth?

Ah, it was when we drove you to the hospital.

Ah, so it was that day, right.

At first, Haruto

wasn't too keen on the name Macbeth.

Have you decided on the name of your duo?

No, not at all yet.
It's not that easy to decide.

I've got an idea ...

- What about Macbeth?
- Macbeth?

You know, we did get Makabe Sensei's
supports, right?

So, we are Makabe's students, right.

In English, we are Makabe's students.
In short, Macbeth.

If it's Makabe, wouldn't it be Makabesu?

Because I think Macbeth sounds cooler!

What? Macbeth ...

It's just a suggestion.
I'm not saying this is it.

I didn't even come up with it myself.

Really? Then who did?

Natsumi.

Ah, that's why.

No, it's not because it's her suggestion, but

I thought it was pretty good too.

- I see, let's go with that then.
- Why? Let's think about it more.

I mean, it's really good.

You didn't agree at all earlier.

No, that's not true.
It's really not too bad.

And if it's a name that Natsumi came up with,

you won't say you want
to quit so easily either.

Nah, no matter what the name is,
I'm still going to go all out with it.

Eh!? Isn't that Makabe Sensei?

- Makabe Sensei!
- Hey!

- Don't tell him about the name.
- Why?

- He'll get cocky.
- Oh, you guys.

Where are you going to?

- My child is about to be born.
- What?

Eh!? What do we do?

- Sensei! Sensei!
- Teacher! Teacher!

- Get in!
- What, get in?

- His car!
- Yes, my car!

- Daddy!
- Talk in Japanese!

You guys haven't read the student handbook?

- You're not allowed to drive to school.
- It's okay since we've already left the school.

You're not allowed to ride a car wearing a school
uniform with anyone other than your parents.

He continued preaching, trying to
cover up his nervousness.

Ice cream on the way home is
also not allowed either.

I told him we were leaving, but I guess he was
worried about being alone.

He told us to watch because we could learn
about society and forced us to stay.

Sensei, have you thought of
a name for your child?

We've already decided.

Taichi!

- Did you take that from my name?
- Of course he didn't.

That kanji Ta is from my name, Shunta.

Sensei, only two kanji characters with
five strokes is too simple.

What's wrong with a small number of strokes?

You're a literature teacher, right?

Two kanji characters with five strokes

is kinda lazy.

Lazy?

Because we expect that you'd use
an elegant name with difficult kanji.

Especially for Taichi alone.

What? You guys ...

This name is for my beloved and
adorable child, and he is about to be born ...

This will be his name ...

How can you call it lazy,
what kind of schooling have you ...

You did your best.

The child takes after you.

He resembles you more, right?

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Shunta ...

I'm so happy for you two.

Excuse me.

Why were you crying?

Because that was the first time
I've ever seen a newborn child.

When I realized the child would be
so blessed when he was born,

I just kinda started to feel frustrated.

What, tears of jealousy?

I was deeply moved by it at first, of course.

Shunta's father died young

and he didn't get along well with his mother.

What do you mean?

He has decided not to go to college,

- He wants to become a professional gamer.
- No, I do not give my permission!

Let's just let him take the chance now ...

I do not approve of this! Absolutely not!

Sensei, whatever you say to this
person will be useless.

You know, that woman ...

she never likes anything I do or achieve.

She says I shouldn't play games,
watch comedy, or eat sweets.

- She disapproves of everything.
- “No, I do not give my permission!”

And yet she's the one who completely
forgot about my father,

and is wanting to remarry a young man

without giving a second thought to my feelings.

I really feel like ...

it drives me nuts when I'm around her.

She's soft on herself and strict on others.
The worst kind of woman.

As soon as Shunta graduated from high school,
he started living by himself

and began to distance himself
from his mother.

I'd like 3 tsukunes.

Three tsukunes! Three tsukunes!

One skin, one giblet and one gristle.

Skin, giblet, gristle! Woof! Woof!

- Skin, giblet, gristle! Woof! Woof!
- Isn't that unique?

This shop is famous for its bulldog howls.

Who's the bulldog?

The head chef used to box, so when he counts
numbers, he uses English.

I see.

One, two, lever!

Ouch, I can feel it hurt, you seriously hit me.

But this shop name is a golf's term, right?

It was my ring name, Bogey Ando.

If he starts to tell this story, it'll really get long,

so you better don't dig more.

- Let's talk about it later if you want to.
- I'd like to hear more.

But you're quite unique too, right?

- Me?
- You still talk like that.

- “Don't think, just do it!”
- That brings back memories!

There were 2 ways he'd say it, thick or light.

- Yeah!
- Don't talk about it like it's ramen.

“Don't think, just do it!”

- “Don't think, just do it!”
- Hey, my front teeth don't stick out that much.

I haven't met anyone who says it in the daily
conversation since I graduated high school.

Aren't many people like that.

I mean, you said it so many times in a day.

I've decided that I'll say what I really
want to express three times a day.

Oh, right, I see.

- Eh?
- Ah, it's just,

My mother always disapproved of me
doing things I liked many times a day.

I realized that it was what
she truly wanted to say.

“I do not approve of it! Absolutely not!”

Hey, you can't help but mimic it, right?

I have that kind of bad habit.

Have met with her at all?

- I haven't.
- No way he'd meet with her.

How long have you not seen her?

- I haven't seen her in about seven or eight years.
- That long?

Why don't you at least go meet
her and talk to her?

She's your only living relative, right?

Don't worry, Junpei has met
with her in my place.

- What do you mean?
- We only met once.

Haruto and I just went out to
eat together with her.

It was two years ago when Shunta's mother
suddenly visited our place.

Machida, Machida, come on!

Turn! Turn! Home run, home run ...

- Shunta, Shunta, your mother is here.
- What? No way!

- Tell her I'm not here.
- Why?

- She might have heard your voice.
- Just say I'm not here.

Haruto, come with me.

Hello, I'm Asabuki Shunta's mother.

- I know.
- He's out right now.

Then can I wait inside for him?

I'm sorry, you can't come in.

We have a rule that women aren't allowed in here,
even family members.

Yes, it's Macbeth's non-negotiable rule.

If so I'll wait outside,
you two can join me for a meal.

You're both free, right?

Mmm! This is so good.

- Yeah, we should've ordered a large portion.
- Right?

Is it as delicious as you say?

Can I have a cup of coffee, please?

With sugar and milk.

Yes, ma'am.

You're doing it here too.

- What do you mean?
- Ah, I just,

I just remembered Shunta complaining that you
always disapproved of everything he did or liked.

It's not that I disapproved of everything.

I just thought,

I could make a better spaghetti meat
sauce than this at least.

Then can I have some of yours?

Shut up.

Shunta once told me that it was delicious.

- The spaghetti meat sauce I made.
- Is that so?

Then he tried to put cheese powder on it.

I got angry and told him it was fine as it was.

I should've let him have that.

I'm aware that I'm an awful mother.

I'm also well aware of the fact

that I can't take back the past.

Shunta was there inside, right?

Let me meet him someday.

Well then ...

we'd like you to come to this month's live show.

Ah, yes, that's a good idea.

There's no way he can hide
if you come to the venue.

Your owner came looking for you earlier.

You lying, right?

Tama~! Tama~!
Your ex-owner was calling out your lame name.

Even so, I don't want to go back to that guy's place.

- So, you'll start living as a stray cat?
- You know, my ex-owner ...

Shunta's mother

never came to see our show after all.

- ... they put it in a pot.
- I see.

Sensei, why don't you drink a little more?

I have to prepare for a ball game
early tomorrow morning.

- Junpei, are you done with your counseling?
- Not even a bit.

Natsumi kept grumbling about her company.

I didn't expect him to leave this early.

- I'll make time for you again soon, Junpei.
- But you must be busy, right?

Then, before you guys disband,

can I go visit your men-only room?

Ah~ Please do come, Sensei.

Would you like to consult with me?

I'm fine. Could you please just clear
the table over there instead?

Okay, sure.

Natsumi will be just fine.
Don't think, just do it!

I feel like I can start working
hard again tomorrow.

- See you next time.
- Thank you.

- Thank you for the food.
- Thank you for coming!

- “Don't think, just do it!”
- You guys are so annoying!

Ah, yes, do you want a drink?
A drink for “Don't think, just do it!”

I just got a nice word from Sensei,
so give me a lemon sour, please.

Okay!

Good morning.

Morning!

Tsumugi has always been
a very caring child.

She can't leave a weakened or
injured person alone.

I was able to recover from
the depths of despair,

thanks to Tsumugi's devoted support.

Thank you.

Perhaps it's because she played with
my ex-dolls when she was little.

She loved them all equally,
even the ones that were dirty and scratched.

Sis, can I have a word?

My mother used to get angry with her
for picking up a stray cat,

but she lost to Tsumugi's insistence,

and the two cats were
welcomed into our place.

One!

In middle and high school,

she served as manager of
the baseball team for six years.

It became known that having
Tsumugi throw the ball for you

would help you get out of your slump.

Apparently, she was hailed
as a legendary manager.

When she retired from club activities, she became
lethargic as if she was burned out.

She didn't even go to university,
and just lived on part-time jobs.

None of them lasted long.
She moved from one job to another.

Even until now.

I wonder if there's a job like
a baseball manager somewhere.

When we had been thinking about what job
was similar to a baseball manager

she suddenly started
working at a snack bar.

Making drinks to replace
throwing the ball.

The sales slip replacing a scorebook.

In that sense,

working in the nightlife business
cheering up desperate men,

seems to be Tsumugi's true calling.

Urara, you okay?

Maybe not.

Hey, make sure you apply it evenly.

I'm trying, you shut up.

Shunta, your phone's ringing.

Leave it alone,
I don't need to answer it.

Is Sensei really coming by?

He was pretty drunk,
so I don't know.

I think he's coming.
He's been wanting to see Haruto badly.

Hey Shunta, your phone's ringing again.

- Answer it!
- Okay, sorry, sorry.

(Demon Hag)

Get it.

- Who's this “Demon Hag”?
- Huh? I wonder who that is.

How come you don't know,
you must've entered that.

It's your mother, right?

She's been calling me a lot lately.

- Because you never pick up, right?
- I don't have anything to say to her.

Why are you denying her like that?

It's my turn to do so,
since I've been denied so far.

Now that I think about it ...

I'm now doing everything
she doesn't want me to do.

She hates games and comedy.

She's the kind of person who says dyeing
my hair is out of the question.

Well then, I guess your revenge is complete.

It's not enough at all.
Add more.

- Shunta, do you remember what you said to me?
- What did I say?

The incoming calls are probably just messages
saying, “I'm worried about you,” right?

Well, you see ...

my family situation is different from yours.

I've already cut the family relationship
I had with that person.

Ah yes, I've got a nice idea.

- Lift your hands?
- Lift hands?

- Hey, stop it, it hurts ...
- I know.

- I'm back!
- Welcome back!

Sis, can I have a word?

What's it?

The girl I work with, Urara,
I've talked about her before, right?

Yeah, you've mentioned her
name a few times.

She's been having trouble finding
a place to stay, so can she stay with us?

Oh, really? How long she will stay?

Nice to meet you. I'm Urara.

Oh~ Good evening~

Are you a musician, Urara?

I'm just doing it for fun, just a hobby.
I sing on the road sometimes.

You do? I see.

What would you like to drink?

- Do you have vodka?
- We have whiskey and shochu.

- I'll take water then.
- Okay.

- How old are you Urara?
- I'm 22.

So Tsumugi is three years older than you.

At work, she's my senior.

Oh really?

Are these the tropical fish
you were talking about?

“Talking about?”

You named them after the
members of Macbeth, right?

Maybe you and I can get along.

- Hm?
- I also name my bath towels,

I give the names of my favorite band
members to my bath towels.

Giving names to bath towels

Isn't exactly the same thing
as naming your pets, but ...

This is for you.
Please give a listen to it if you like.

Ah, thank you very much.

It's been almost a year since
this restaurant opened.

Time flies so fast.

Want to go out for a drink
on our next early shift?

I wanna go too.

High school students aren't
allowed to go to bars, right?

No, many bars welcome people
bringing their families.

You don't seem to like it when
it's just me and you.

That's also not true.

- Eh!? Do we have to tidy up like this?
- This messy room is over the line.

Don't you guys think ...

Sensei more interested
in our actual lifestyle?

- Ah, no!
- What? What?

- Sorry.
- Popcorn! You jerk! Your popcorn!

Making a mess when people are trying to clean,
what the hell are you doing?

Sorry.

Hey, your mother is calling again, right?

No, it's just a call from an unknown number.
It's been calling me several times today.

- I'm picking it up.
- No, don't.

- Leave it!
- Yes, hello? Okay, understood.

Understood.
I'll put him on the line.

- It's from the hospital.
- Hospital?

Yes, yes that's me.

Hey, you ...

I understand.

Okay.

What did they say?

The demon ...

is on her way out.

- Demon?
- Your mother's in a bad state?

They're not sure ...

if she'll make it until tomorrow.

What, seriously?

- What the hell are you doing!
- Hey!

- Go right now!
- I'm not going!

- Shunta! Go now!
- I said I'm not going!

They've been trying to contact you!

Doesn't that mean she wants to
talk to you one last time?

I don't have anything to say to her, so ...

How long are you going to
keep being stubborn?

It's none of your business, alright?

That may be so, but ...

You know, when we met
your mother that day,

we promised that we'd let
her meet you someday.

- That promise isn't my issue!
- It doesn't matter!

Why don't you meet her
just one last time?

I'm not going!
I want to drink with Sensei too.

This isn't the time to talk about that.

Then leave me alone!

I don't want to have this dumb
conversation with you guys!

Why don't you understand how I feel?

Fuck off!

Sorry.

I'm back~

Welcome back.

- Hmm?
- What's wrong?

Shun-chan sent me some odd photos.

Odd photos?

Oh, I get it.

It's an SOS message, right?

Ah, I see!

- Wait a minute!
- What?

I think I've seen this hippo somewhere before.

This is a hippo?

Yo! How did you know I'm here?

My sister's good at solving puzzles.

I see. So you get 5 points.

I made it!

- Come here, get on the swing.
- Okay.

Did something happen?

I got into a fight with them.

I had nowhere else to go.

- This fried food is really good.
- Will shochu be alright for starters, Sensei?

- Sure.
- The shochu is still cold.

You bought too many snacks.

- You guys will eat it all, right?
- Thank you.

Huh? Where's Shunta?

I can't believe they're siding with her after
she bought them a meal one time.

Shall we go to the hospital together?

I said I'm not going.

No one understands how I feel.

Then ...

if you hate your mother so much,

that you don't even want to see her,

why don't you at least go complaint to her?

Well ... If I were you I would.

Because it might be my last
chance to strike back.

Oh, yeah.
Okay. Bye.

He's heading to the hospital now in a cab.

Good.

- He didn't take his wallet with him, right?
- Oh yeah, it's here.

- I guess he borrowed from someone, right?
- He probably did.

Well, that's good, it's a relief.

Thank you so much.

- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.

Ah, by the way, Sensei ...

- Why did you decide to come here today?
- Is it a bother?

No, not at all.

It's just I missed this kind of life.

What do you mean?

- When I was in college ...
- Yes?

I lived with three of my classmates
from the rakugo club.

- Really?
- What!? Really?

Even now, after more than 20 years,

we still talk about that period
every time we meet.

When we were about to part,

we had a big argument over who got
to keep which electric appliances.

So you'd better start discussing it now.

You guys are going to live separately
after you disband, right?

Oh, by the way, I have something

I forgot to mention at the bar the other day.

Oh yeah, you seemed.

This is about ...

Well, you've heard that we're
disbanding in June, but

a lot of things have happened recently.

A lot of things?

Our manager told us to reconsider it.

- Oh, is that so.
- Yeah.

It's partly because you supported us,

that we considered forming Macbeth 10 years ago.

So it was because I encouraged you.

Should we continue ...

or should we disband?

I want to hear your honest opinion.

Well, about that ...

I think it'd be better to disband.

Seriously!?

Well, then ...

- Why do you think so?
- Yeah, why? Why?

Well, I also didn't become a teacher

right after I graduated from university either.

I took quite a few detours so
I understand a little bit.

I understand the hardships of
pursuing a dream.

You must have been through
a lot of hardships so far too.

But the period from 18 to 28

and the next 10 years ahead of that

will be a whole other level of hardship.

Haven't you guys done enough already?

She's still somewhat conscious,
so just call out to her.

Your mother looked so eager to see you.

Why are you laughing?

Nothing.

It's just I thought Sensei would tell us,
“Don't think, just do it!”

I miscalculated.

- What?
- What?

- I'm making spaghetti meat sauce.
- I can tell.

Hey~

Wake up!

I'm your son.

Asabuki Shunta, you know me?

You really are ...

a selfish person, you know?

You always said no to me.

You didn't accept anything
I did and enjoyed.

But you were so devoted to
your own desires.

You ignored my feelings.

You remarried and left me immediately.

And you do the same at your
very last moment, too.

So suddenly.

Isn't this too early?

Give me a little more time ...

to forgive you.

Give me ...

the time I need ...

to start over again.

I'm so sorry.

You know ...

I won't accept you dying.

I won't accept you leaving me!

I won't!

Don't mess around ...

You know ...

I didn't have much time, so ...

I came with blond hair that you hate so much.

Mom ...

I'm so sorry.

Thanks to your sister, he went to see
his mother in her last moments.

I'm glad to hear that.

We tried to tell him to, but it didn't work.
She really helped.

You look good in black.

Right?

I'm sorry you had to go through this.

Thanks.
I'll come by for a drink again sometime.

You can come any time.

Ah!

What's wrong?

We were supposed to work on our skits today.

- It's okay if we skip it today.
- Why?

You must be tired.

You did well today.

I couldn't imagine being the chief mourner at this age.

For today, just take your time soaking in the bathtub.

Get a good rest.

So generous, aren't you?

But why do you say that?

Let's just do it.

Let's do the skits.

Because for me ...

Macbeth is all I have left.

- Why do you look so surprised?
- Can you see a spirit behind us?

It's not like he got possessed yesterday, right.

Be quiet!

I thought you might not come today.

They've been insisting that
we work on our skits today.

Three!

- Table for three, please.
- Let me lead you.

Three cups of hot coffee, please.

- Three cups of hot coffee.
- Yep.

Noted.

Wait, make it four cups.

Why more?

One cup for the spirit behind us.

Can you add some sugar and milk, too?
She's so picky unless it's sweet enough.

- Of course~
- Sure, it's noted.

So four cups of hot coffee.

Your order is on its way.

- Do you want to switch seats?
- Would you prefer to sit here?

No, I'm okay sitting here.

It's easier for me to complain
if we're facing each other.

I'm starting to feel like she's
really there sitting.

Kinda.

Despite her appearance, she's actually someone
who succumbed easily to loneliness.

- Excuse me, can I have some salt, please?
- I didn't think you would betray me like this.

- You're trying to expel her.
- What are you gonna do? The salt is coming.

- The exorcism hasn't started yet.
- Don't touch this guy's mother's hair.

- You too, don't show that blushing face of yours!
- Hey, stop giving me that look.

I heard you attended someone's funereal.

I did, it was Shunta's mother's funeral.

I heard that in China people would play
mahjong at funerals.

When I die,

I want my casket to be filled
with mahjong tiles.

I don't mind if you consider me a parent.

I've been considering you a parent
since I started working here.

Very well then.

I'm back.

Hello.

Have you got your final decision?

Could you please wait just a little bit longer?

If we don't hurry, we won't be able to make the
flyers for the June show in time.

Yes, I know.

What? You still can't decide?

Yes, pretty much.

I'm waiting for your good answer.

- Shun-chan, are you okay?
- I'm starving.

You want to eat it, right?

Please forgive me for that ...

I've got some frozen ones if you want them.

Seriously?

Because you want to eat it badly, right?

Yes, I do.

- Enjoy your meal!
- It looks yummy~

You can have some of this too.

Are you sure?

Yeah, you can take as much as you want.

Yo~!

- I'm digging in!
- Go ahead~

Yummy!

Yummy! This is so yummy!

- You have a talent! This is yummy!
- Thanks!

Desperate people come to
Tsumugi to seek help.

No sauce?

I can eat it even without sauce.

Huh?! What's wrong with you?

As an older sister,

I can't help but wish you'd take better care
of yourself a little more.

- Hurry up and get back to your owner!
- I don't want to!

Why are you so stubborn?
Give up on your strange pride!

It's a great thing that they're
wanting you to come back.

Fine!

If I break the vase again,
I'll be back here.

Jeez, don't pretend to be tough,
just get going already.

You too, I hope you find a nice owner.

I've decided I won't go to a house that
makes less than 30 million yen a year.

- See you!
- Get the hell out of here.

- See you again, stray cat.
- Good luck.

What is it? You want me to take you?

Oh, but my place is so small and
I'm very poor, you know?

Are you okay with that?

Nyaa~!

Ow, that hurts!

What the hell!
You're a cat, not a dog!

Woof!

Huh? You are a dog?

Woof! Woof! Woof!