Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:23,840
This fantasy, this dream, this vision,
turned into this dark reality.
4
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,840
He was like a different person.
I barely recognized him.
5
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:25,000
We have 30 seconds.
6
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:33,080
-I'm Santa Claus!
-Are you Santa Claus?
7
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:36,760
Look into the camera, Jonatan.
8
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,440
Come here, Jonatan.
Come to Daddy.
9
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,360
Repeat after me.
10
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:57,800
An artist.
11
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:27,440
-Say again, you're building a house?
-Yes.
12
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:33,720
-What kind of house?
-A Peter Pan house.
13
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,160
A Peter Pan house...
14
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:41,000
Here is Jonatan's table,
with all his invention stuff
15
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,720
that he's been working on
this whole week.
16
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:49,360
-I need tape.
-Tape?
17
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,440
Happy new year!
18
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:59,480
Lights...sound...camera...action!
19
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,800
When I first met Jonatan,
Micke and I had started hanging out.
20
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,680
Micke and I had been, like,
Facebook friends.
21
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,800
There weren't that many people
that I knew of,
22
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:46,560
or that he knew of,
who were making music.
23
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:07,360
We were in the park and like, drink-
ing beer and listening to a song.
24
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,600
Then Jonatan came
and we started talking.
25
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,720
And he was like, "I rap."
And we were like, "nice."
26
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:19,240
"We make beats." He was like,
"Let's do something." OK.
27
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,120
He was fun to hang with.
28
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:28,720
And we liked the same stuff.
We'd talk very in-depth
29
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:34,520
about everything related to hip hop.
Just total hip hop geeks.
30
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:39,680
Anything from that to Anti Cimex
and Shitlickers.
31
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,400
It was all interesting to us.
32
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:10,080
Me and Jonatan decided to get a mic.
I'd come into some cash.
33
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:15,200
So we got a mic, and cleared out
a room in his basement.
34
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,240
We just started playing around.
35
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,680
Young Mr Lean.
36
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:39,400
At first it was like, "I don't
know about the sound of this."
37
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:43,400
But then you'd listen to it
a few times and be like,
38
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,920
"It's pretty good."
39
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:16,240
In early 2013,
you started seeing these...
40
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:22,640
...videos on YouTube
with this guy in a bucket hat...
41
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:30,120
...who would basically freestyle
over some dreamy beats.
42
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,400
I'd never heard anything like it
in Sweden
43
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:49,000
but I knew of some US artists.
44
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:53,680
But there was something special
about this guy and the esthetic.
45
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:07,560
I think it started with me emailing
Yung Lean, Jonatan,
46
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,480
and asked him if he
wanted to perform.
47
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,720
They'd never performed live before.
48
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,320
You're not gonna back out?
You in?
49
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,600
-I dunno.
-You in or what?
50
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:38,320
It was more or less sold out,
like 300 people.
51
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:42,160
Unreal, given they'd released,
like, three songs.
52
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,200
"I have no idea what this is"
53
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:10,680
"why we're doing it
and why these people are here."
54
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,480
"They sing along, which is awesome."
55
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,240
"But, like,
what the fuck is going on?"
56
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:29,800
Jonatan had done at least a couple
interviews with Vice or Noisey.
57
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,960
We got lot of interview requests.
58
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:35,080
We felt the next step
would be to step up
59
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,160
by shooting a well-made music video.
60
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,240
It turned out to be Kyoto.
61
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:17,640
When that dropped,
that's when it really blew up.
62
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:31,080
The dream was to tour in the US
and to record more music.
63
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:37,360
To get to the place
that his lyrics were dreaming of.
64
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:06,680
Jonatan was a huge fan of Hippos in
Tanks and the music they released.
65
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:37,120
We were going to check out the gig.
We were all James Ferraro fans.
66
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:54,240
Barron had this thing about him.
He'd walk into a room and own it.
67
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:59,760
Very energetic and motivated
and interested.
68
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:34,800
We knew things were taking off
when they got a Travis Scott feature,
69
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,880
were invited to record
with Frank Ocean in London.
70
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,920
You could really sense
this was going to be huge.
71
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:52,640
Jonatan! It's Travis. Get it.
72
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,600
And ja, må du leva...
73
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:50,080
-We should record for the video.
-Pass it.
74
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,240
-You trying to film?
-Mm...
75
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:57,320
-Here...
-Someone has to stay with the blunt.
76
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:05,880
Seriously, this roof space is sick.
Seriously, check out the view.
77
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,000
None of the guys had done this.
78
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:47,640
Me neither. I mean, I'd done clubs
abroad before, but not on this level.
79
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:53,120
It became like a crash course
in the live-music industry.
80
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,800
People wanting interviews
at each new stop.
81
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,480
Kids wanting to get backstage.
82
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,880
Just, like, security in general.
83
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:06,160
But the sensation among the guys
was unbelievable.
84
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,600
Everyone was psyched.
We had almost the whole crew there.
85
00:28:55,760 --> 00:29:00,080
It was a bigger tour. All the
requests, all the possibilities.
86
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,080
Lots of partying.
87
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:20,760
I'm having a psychosis.
I'm going to suffer a psychosis.
88
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,080
-Barrone, Barrone!
-Hey!
89
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,640
I wouldn't turn down some Gulp.
90
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,920
He said just to drop it right in,
right?
91
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,560
My gut never trusted Steven.
92
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:20,280
What I heard from day one was
that he would act as a kind of...
93
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:25,200
...legal guardian and guardian of
the situation and possible scenarios.
94
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,920
But I soon found myself
having to take on-
95
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:37,840
-a big chunk of the responsibility
as guardian of the whole situation.
96
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:12,440
Sad Boys tour, 2014.
97
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:19,600
Micke is having the time of his life.
98
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,440
He took all five Adderalls.
99
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,040
He shouldn't take any more drugs
and just enjoy this trip.
100
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,560
Micke, you have a really nice trip
ahead of you. I'm jealous.
101
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:37,640
If I could trade Xanax and cocaine...
102
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:42,720
...and miscellaneous other drugs
in exchange for my life, I would.
103
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:12,280
What I remember the most?
I remember putting out fires.
104
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:17,440
That was my main job every day,
back then.
105
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:25,360
I had to be their shrink.
I had to be a kind of father figure.
106
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:29,120
And of course I had to be
on top of all things
107
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,240
related to the live performance.
108
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:18,440
They were all used to partying.
But not on that kind of scale.
109
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,280
It got to a point where some
couldn't even get on stage.
110
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:27,920
And that got me both stressed,
upset, and concerned.
111
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,040
But it's spinning so fast
112
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:38,080
you forget to take a step back,
see the bigger picture.
113
00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:45,040
This is insane.
How are you doing? Get up, get up.
114
00:34:46,240 --> 00:34:52,720
Some of us were maybe
getting a bit unstable...
115
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,000
...mentally.
116
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,720
Barron would talk a lot
about energies.
117
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:46,080
He and Emilio were the first ones
to listen to my weird ideas
118
00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:49,520
and to actually think
they were good ideas.
119
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,560
He'd say, "Lean, you're not Lean,
you're Madonna."
120
00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:00,720
"You're fucking Madonna, man."
121
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:07,760
I figured,
maybe I am fucking Madonna.
122
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:12,160
If Barron thinks so, maybe I am.
Guess I'll see myself that way.
123
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:18,160
I didn't see myself that way. He
just had a positive spin on things.
124
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:04,600
Jonatan and I took a meeting, saying
we'd make a new album in Stockholm.
125
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:08,680
So I was getting ready to chill out.
126
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:14,160
Because I was kind of feeling
that things had kind of...
127
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:18,080
I just didn't enjoy it as much
and wanted to do something else.
128
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:21,560
It seemed great to be in Sweden
and record an album.
129
00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:25,640
But we'd already planned
to record an album in Miami.
130
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,280
Which I flat out refused to do.
131
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,720
So the others went
and recorded Warlord
132
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:35,440
and I stayed home and slowed down.
133
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:41,080
We went to record in Miami,
and that's when things took a turn.
134
00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:45,360
That's when this fantasy,
dream or vision
135
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:49,160
turned into
a kind of dark reality...
136
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:50,840
...pretty quickly.
137
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:03,240
My relationship with Barron
was already pretty bad.
138
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:07,800
It felt like there was this constant
power struggle between us
139
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:11,760
over getting the band to
listen to you.
140
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:17,680
We still had good times.
There were these ups and downs.
141
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:22,600
But I also noticed Jonatan
was becoming more closed off and...
142
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,960
...paranoid, almost.
143
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:49,160
I remember incidents
of him talking weird.
144
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,480
Before gigs and stuff.
145
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,760
But after the gig,
he'd be chill again.
146
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:02,920
My gut feeling was telling me
something was off.
147
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,240
That what we were doing wasn't right.
148
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:11,640
I could also see
that Axel couldn't do it anymore.
149
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:17,000
So my advice to everyone was
to stop recording and touring.
150
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,320
And for everyone to go home.
151
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:23,760
Jonatan was set on finishing
the project in the US first
152
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,920
and then going home.
153
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:29,560
I couldn't talk him into
coming home with us.
154
00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:32,640
So Axel and I flew home
155
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,600
while Jonatan and Benjamin
stayed with Barron in Miami.
156
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:46,560
It's kind of a trauma, all the shit
that happened over there.
157
00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:50,160
I'd never been through anything
like that.
158
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:53,440
I wasn't really prepared
to handle it.
159
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:11,720
Whole days would go by
and we didn't do or record anything.
160
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:17,280
Everything was just off.
There were bad vibes.
161
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:53,960
Just five or six days
after I got back
162
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:57,800
I started getting pretty alarming
calls and texts
163
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,200
from Benjamin, mostly
164
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:05,120
saying they wanted to come home
and that Jonatan wasn't doing great.
165
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,800
He couldn't tell reality
from fantasy anymore.
166
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,800
He'd write weird contracts
with the Devil.
167
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:51,480
He was starting to see
everything in symbols.
168
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,560
Barron didn't realize
he wasn't himself.
169
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:46,360
So he was trying
to talk normally to him.
170
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:51,760
Jonatan was telling him he was
seeing ghosts in the room and shit.
171
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:58,920
Barron was like, he just has a ghost
inside of him, like, he's obsessed.
172
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:05,440
It'll be chill in a moment.
Just wait it out. Just let him sleep.
173
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:15,520
Barron took off to buy something
from the store.
174
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:20,240
Right when they leave,
I hear Jonatan's door open
175
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,440
and he goes to the bathroom.
176
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,840
I approach the bathroom door
177
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:31,040
and get this weird vibe that
something's wrong.
178
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:37,480
I was scared to open the door. When
I opened it, he'd painted his face.
179
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:41,400
He was looking at himself
in the mirror.
180
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,080
And he started, like, freaking out.
181
00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:49,360
He broke a mirror and was,
like, bleeding from his face.
182
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:06,680
You'd look in his eyes,
and it wasn't the same person.
183
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:14,640
What am I gonna do, I thought.
He's totally gone.
184
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:19,040
I can't deal with him on my own,
I felt. So I called 911.
185
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:22,000
So they sent a cop car
and an ambulance.
186
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:27,360
They put him on a stretcher
and asked what had happened.
187
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:31,840
And I was like, he's having
a psychosis or something.
188
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,280
And they were like,
"No, what's he taken?"
189
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,360
They didn't believe
it was a psychosis.
190
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:40,000
They thought
he was high on meth.
191
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,840
I was like,
"No, he's just been smoking."
192
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:53,640
I ride with him in the ambulance
to the hospital.
193
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:57,400
I think they asked him
if he was suicidal.
194
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:01,560
And he said yes.
So they had to have him committed.
195
00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:10,440
So they put him in a room
and told me I had to leave.
196
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:14,200
So I took off
and went back to the apartment.
197
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:18,720
Barron was still not back. I didn't
have a key, so I was locked out.
198
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:23,560
So I sat and waited in the lobby
for a long fucking time.
199
00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:28,840
Barron should've never gotten in that
car. When you get so fucked up...
200
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:33,360
What are friends there for?
And why didn't they take Uber?
201
00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:05,880
I went and picked him up
from the airport,
202
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:10,560
along with his mom and dad
and a psychologist.
203
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:17,760
And we took him back
to his parents' place.
204
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:20,560
He was going to stay there
temporarily.
205
00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:24,200
He was like
a totally different person.
206
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:27,040
I barely recognized him.
207
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:31,800
Extremely paranoid
and worried all the time.
208
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:40,120
Maybe we should've been
more concerned.
209
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:43,520
But he was such a creative force,
210
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:48,080
and of course we felt he should
be allowed to express himself.
211
00:49:48,240 --> 00:49:53,720
Of course he should be allowed room
to make his art and his music.
212
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,880
And however concerned
we might have been,
213
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,600
we could never have stopped Jonatan.
214
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:17,560
My gut feeling told me
something was wrong.
215
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:24,600
I told my mom and my sister,
"Someone's dead."
216
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:27,080
"Who is dead?"
217
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:34,080
And then I heard it was Barron
who was dead, and I just broke down.
218
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:41,720
They didn't tell me for two months.
219
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:45,320
For two months,
I didn't know he was dead.
220
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:52,960
He really was a wonderful person.
221
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:02,400
Now I'm just trying to forget.
222
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:28,080
While staying at Steven's, I read up
a bunch on Chinese zodiac signs.
223
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:32,840
That's when I learned
I was a Fire Rat.
224
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:40,720
At the time, I was totally convinced
that it was all a game.
225
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:44,200
And that someone
was playing with my brain
226
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:47,920
making all the scary things appear.
227
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:55,960
I was having a psychosis.
I didn't understand a thing.
228
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:09,960
Once I heard that Jonatan had
suffered a psychosis and all that,
229
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:14,920
I think I just kind of shut off.
Not very loyal of me.
230
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:21,280
That's what I did, so I very much
distanced myself from all of it
231
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:24,680
during that entire spring and summer.
232
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:32,920
Everything was just a mess.
I basically couldn't do anything.
233
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:43,920
Everyone was super worried.
Like, will he ever make music again?
234
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:48,120
Will he ever be able to perform
again? Is it all over?
235
00:53:43,720 --> 00:53:47,040
Everyone was waiting for more.
236
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:52,400
He didn't want to talk music
this whole time.
237
00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:05,400
That's when I felt, I need to find
people who can help us sort this out.
238
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:20,760
Emilio called me
and wanted to go for a walk.
239
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:28,800
On this walk, he told me everything
that had happened to them in the US.
240
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:34,160
I didn't know just how bad it was
when I got involved in it.
241
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:39,640
Steven had lost his son,
which was awful.
242
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,160
But that didn't make it OK for him
243
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:46,320
to accuse people of stuff
the way he did.
244
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:50,040
That was really hard.
245
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,800
Also, finances were a total mess.
246
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:57,440
No contracts written, and so on.
247
00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:04,200
Steven was the adult everyone thought
had a handle on that.
248
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:07,880
We ended up in
a legal battle with him.
249
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:12,480
But our only concern was
that Jonatan would get better.
250
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:19,760
We soon realized a lot of
management work was required.
251
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:24,800
But it all had to be financed
somehow.
252
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:28,200
So we started looking for partners
253
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:31,120
for releasing
the next Yung Lean project.
254
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:36,400
While Jonatan was getting better.
We started outlining a new set-up.
255
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,960
Kind of back to square one.
256
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:46,320
Benjamin and I started running
his social media accounts.
257
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:49,080
To keep them going.
258
00:55:49,240 --> 00:55:52,440
So there wouldn't be
as many questions
259
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,440
about what had happened to Yung Lean.
260
00:55:55,600 --> 00:56:01,040
Jonatan was a bit unclear
about...who was who.
261
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:05,800
Who is Jonatan and who is Yung Lean?
262
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:10,520
Who am I in this character?
Am I this character?
263
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:13,000
Or am I not this character?
264
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:22,240
I didn't go, "Time to get straight
and start making music again."
265
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:26,440
It was a constant battle
to get back on the horse.
266
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:53,960
Jonatan Leandoer127 was something
I think he needed to start
267
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:58,000
because Yung Lean was
so emotionally charged for him.
268
00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:02,320
So he needed to express himself,
still through music,
269
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:04,320
but in a different way.
270
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:07,640
A lot darker,
more honest and personal.
271
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:12,280
It was kind of a thought cleanse
from that time.
272
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:16,000
A way of getting out
what needed to get out.
273
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:18,160
To be able to start over.
274
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:22,160
It was important for us
275
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:28,000
to let Jonatan do his comeback
at his own pace.
276
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:31,480
To let him decide
when the time had come
277
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:36,240
to continue on his journey.
278
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:39,640
I remember we had an offer
on the table
279
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:43,800
for Jonatan to go perform in Russia.
280
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:49,200
And it was a ridiculous sum
of money, for right then.
281
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:52,800
He'd never been to Russia,
so we were like...
282
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:58,000
"Maybe it would be good for him
to get back in the saddle,"
283
00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,680
"see how it feels?"
284
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:40,880
And before long,
it all started falling apart again.
285
01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:49,080
Something in my brain
had started to come loose.
286
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:56,120
I was just sitting and laughing
manically in front of the TV.
287
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:02,640
I started thinking
of Alice in Wonderland:
288
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:05,200
"Follow the white rabbit."
289
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:07,760
Like, what do they want with me?
290
01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:12,760
That's when things really took a turn
toward crazy mania.
291
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:17,880
One moment I'd be
on the floor, shaking,
292
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:23,120
the next I'd be on my feet,
running around and dancing.
293
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:26,640
And I felt more and more intoxicated.
294
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:30,320
I hadn't been drinking
or taking anything.
295
01:03:32,720 --> 01:03:35,880
And then my parents
took me to the psych ward.
296
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:46,240
Then it took me two months...
297
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:49,400
I was a convalescent for two months.
298
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:14,200
-Hey, how you doing?
-It's all good.
299
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:16,200
-Good seeing you.
-Likewise.
300
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:20,520
-I got some food from Gossip.
-I was thinking of get some, too.
301
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:25,520
-I bet you will.
-I just got my shiny, new debit card.
302
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:32,280
You got a new debit card?
It's got one of those things on it?
303
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:35,760
It's perfect.
304
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:39,240
I got my business expense card.
It's nice to have.
305
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:45,120
I want one of those, too.
I gotta get on that.
306
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:46,400
You got your own business, right?
307
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:50,600
Yeah.
But I still don't know what it is.
308
01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:53,720
I know you can make deductions.
309
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:58,520
Say you wanted to grab a coffee
with Adrian Lux or Avicii
310
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:02,840
or Martha Wainwright, you can
expense and deduct that coffee.
311
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,000
-Just makes it easier.
-Cool.
312
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:09,320
You know I'm gonna grab a shit-ton
of coffees with Adrian Lux.
313
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:12,080
Like, an insane amount.
314
01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:15,840
-Hello?!
-Anybody home?
315
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:24,800
I'd just be up at all hours,
drawing a bunch.
316
01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:28,960
I wasn't getting much sleep
and just feeling creative.
317
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:31,880
But once I got there, I went crazy.
318
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:36,000
I took my clothes off and went,
"Yes, take me! I need to be here!"
319
01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:39,800
And I went, "I know this isn't
a psychosis, I'm being manic."
320
01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:44,800
"I know you're a doctor, and
you're a doctor - I'm not psychotic."
321
01:05:44,960 --> 01:05:49,280
They emptied my pockets
of all sharp objects, like keys.
322
01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:54,160
Then I was just a patient for three
weeks. I liked Danderyd Hospital.
323
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:58,080
I fell back in love
with ryecrisp and lasagna.
324
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:04,200
Have you been diagnosed yet?
325
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:07,120
I was in the Huddinge psych ward.
326
01:06:07,280 --> 01:06:12,320
They said, "We're going to put you
on lithium. You're bipolar."
327
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:18,560
It was like being admitted for a pap-
er cut and learning you have cancer.
328
01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:23,680
From what I heard, being manic isn't
the worst part about being bipolar.
329
01:06:23,840 --> 01:06:27,920
-It's being depressed.
-That's what they're trying to stop.
330
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:32,360
When I was being manic,
I was just super happy.
331
01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:36,880
And then the depression came
when I was in the hospital.
332
01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:41,360
That's what I'm treated for every
day. But I've been mad depressed.
333
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:44,640
Waking up every day,
staying in bed, like,
334
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:47,160
how am I gonna deal
with this day?
335
01:06:47,320 --> 01:06:52,520
Once I'm up and having breakfast,
I feel like I can have a good day.
336
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:55,480
Hi, Grandma!
337
01:08:57,160 --> 01:08:59,840
-Hi Miriam, how are you?
-You OK?
338
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:02,000
I called the doctor,
got my new meds.
339
01:09:02,160 --> 01:09:03,080
Great!
340
01:09:03,240 --> 01:09:06,240
Chanterelles...
341
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:14,320
-This was so nice, Jonatan! Bravo!
-So nice. Thank you!
342
01:09:14,480 --> 01:09:19,880
-Thank you, Jonatan. Cheers, chef!
-Cheers for Grandma.
343
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:37,760
He chose life, he chose health,
he chose his friends, he chose art.
344
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:45,120
He said, drugs don't make you crea-
tive. Creativity comes from within.
345
01:09:45,280 --> 01:09:48,680
I think that
was a crucial realization.
346
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:52,240
That drugs
didn't fuel his creativity.
347
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:58,320
That he had that creative force
within and that's what mattered.
348
01:09:58,480 --> 01:10:01,280
Should it be slower?
349
01:10:01,440 --> 01:10:03,640
No, that's perfect.
350
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:08,480
That force that Jonatan
has always had,
351
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:12,560
it kind of exploded
after his illness.
352
01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:16,720
He used everything he'd been through,
all of his emotions.
353
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:19,880
It was now allowed to flourish.
354
01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:46,080
I remember coming to the hospital
and told him, "Good news.
355
01:10:46,240 --> 01:10:50,800
"You most likely have a disorder
356
01:10:50,960 --> 01:10:55,480
"Nothing's happened.
You have a disorder, you're bipolar."
357
01:10:55,640 --> 01:10:59,520
And it was a great relief
finding that out.
358
01:10:59,680 --> 01:11:03,320
Because it gave us an answer
as to why he'd been ill.
359
01:11:03,480 --> 01:11:08,440
Then you can treat it, he can get
medication and get it sorted.
360
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:12,680
It gave a sense of calm and security.
It was a good thing.
361
01:11:12,840 --> 01:11:17,960
It was also a scary thing,
362
01:11:18,120 --> 01:11:22,920
knowing maybe this wouldn't be
the last time this happened.
363
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:28,840
It's good to know it's a disorder.
364
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:33,520
But it's also scary to know
it's for life.
365
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:36,880
Maybe for all of our lives.
366
01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:02,960
I remember asking my grandma,
367
01:15:03,120 --> 01:15:06,160
what's the most
important thing in life?
368
01:15:06,320 --> 01:15:10,880
I was sure she'd say,
having a daughter or a family,
369
01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:12,960
or to love or whatever.
370
01:15:13,120 --> 01:15:15,720
But she said, "To evolve."
371
01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:17,120
I was like, hm, well,
372
01:15:17,280 --> 01:15:20,720
maybe you've worked too much
in your life, Grandma.
373
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:25,280
Then I thought, OK, maybe not the
most important, but it is important.
374
01:15:25,440 --> 01:15:29,120
It happens naturally.
If you do something more and more,
375
01:15:29,280 --> 01:15:34,000
you can hear yourself evolving,
you can see it. You get better.
376
01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:40,520
Devoting my life
to making other people happy,
377
01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:46,280
or getting them to feel things
they may not dare to feel otherwise.
378
01:15:46,440 --> 01:15:48,680
That makes me pretty happy.
379
01:15:57,160 --> 01:16:01,360
Through it all, a ton of people
have been there from the start.
380
01:16:01,520 --> 01:16:06,960
That wasn't planned.
Sometimes it almost makes me cry.
381
01:17:14,440 --> 01:17:18,680
I've been writing lyrics since
I was a kid. Rap songs...
382
01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:23,920
What was most interesting to me back
then was my imagination, I guess.
383
01:17:24,080 --> 01:17:30,080
It was like painting a picture,
a film mixed in with beautiful words.
384
01:17:30,240 --> 01:17:35,720
A horror film mixed with sci-fi. All
of that meshed well with Yung Lean.
385
01:17:35,880 --> 01:17:40,360
When you write that much, I mean,
I'd write every day, all the time,
386
01:17:40,520 --> 01:17:45,120
and every chance I'd get,
I'd record something.
387
01:17:45,280 --> 01:17:50,560
That fantasy world was much more fun,
388
01:17:50,720 --> 01:17:54,840
way more fun than Jonatan.
389
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:58,960
I wasn't interested
in rapping about...
390
01:17:59,120 --> 01:18:05,360
I didn't feel an obligation to rap
about the ordinary part of my life.
391
01:18:05,520 --> 01:18:09,560
My ordinary self. I hated that part
of myself, found it boring.
392
01:18:09,720 --> 01:18:13,760
What I channeled through Yung Lean
was the best of me, I thought.
393
01:18:13,920 --> 01:18:18,440
My most interesting thoughts.
The best part of me.
394
01:18:18,600 --> 01:18:22,840
And I think I found more honesty
in my imagination
395
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:26,120
than I would've in something
that had happened to me,
396
01:18:26,280 --> 01:18:29,440
or whatever happened yesterday,
or how I was feeling.
397
01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:32,760
I think I've focused more
on that stuff later.
398
01:18:32,920 --> 01:18:35,840
Trying to incorporate
more ordinary life.
399
01:19:07,720 --> 01:19:12,880
-Nice. Know any Död Mark?
-No.
400
01:19:13,040 --> 01:19:14,600
Me neither.
401
01:19:28,200 --> 01:19:31,080
I'm so happy that AIK lost.
402
01:19:53,160 --> 01:19:56,520
It kind of went to shit,
but then it didn't.
403
01:19:56,680 --> 01:20:02,800
He is an old soul
in a young man's body.
404
01:20:08,080 --> 01:20:12,240
Did you see the news?
The naked man walking around?
405
01:20:12,400 --> 01:20:14,720
-In the studio?
-No, just a naked man.
406
01:20:14,880 --> 01:20:19,600
He was like, handsome, and walking
around naked with a grocery bag.
407
01:20:19,760 --> 01:20:22,800
-That was a while ago.
-Yeah.
408
01:20:22,960 --> 01:20:29,920
But it was funny, because he wasn't
drunk or being a pain in the ass.
409
01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:33,880
He was just toned and handsome
and walking around naked.
410
01:20:34,040 --> 01:20:39,040
It was funny because they didn't know
what to do, what to arrest him for.
411
01:20:39,200 --> 01:20:42,640
It's a whole different ballgame
if you're sexy.
412
01:21:00,320 --> 01:21:03,680
Axel! Grub!
413
01:21:05,840 --> 01:21:07,920
Come on!
414
01:21:22,440 --> 01:21:26,600
Thank the frog god
for being with us in spirit.
415
01:21:26,760 --> 01:21:31,400
-Thank you, Micke, for the food.
-Thanks.
416
01:21:31,560 --> 01:21:33,840
Let's eat. Thank you.
417
01:21:37,200 --> 01:21:39,920
I could go night swimming later.
418
01:21:40,080 --> 01:21:42,560
Night swimming?
419
01:21:42,720 --> 01:21:47,000
In the middle of the night,
Axel and I will sneak out naked.
420
01:21:47,160 --> 01:21:50,880
Seriously, go for an evening swim.
How about it, Axel?
421
01:21:56,720 --> 01:22:00,240
Barron's death was awful.
Any one of us could have died.
422
01:22:00,400 --> 01:22:04,160
We could have died on that tour
or after, 100 percent.
423
01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:11,280
But we rose from those ashes.
That's a beautiful thing.
424
01:22:11,440 --> 01:22:13,920
What do you think, Axel?
425
01:22:15,240 --> 01:22:19,440
-What do you think, Axel?
-For Axel there are no good times.
426
01:22:19,600 --> 01:22:23,320
Things were a bit more exciting
back then, I guess.
427
01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:24,720
Sure...
428
01:22:24,880 --> 01:22:26,880
But I don't give it
much thought now.
429
01:22:27,040 --> 01:22:34,040
Well, that type of excitement
has its upside and its downside.
430
01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:39,040
I've probably seen, heard and
experienced everything I need to
431
01:22:39,200 --> 01:22:40,640
in that department.
432
01:22:40,800 --> 01:22:42,880
I'm pretty done with all that.
433
01:22:43,040 --> 01:22:46,760
We've had moments of someone
being up on a roof,
434
01:22:46,920 --> 01:22:51,760
or someone sitting with a knife and a
ton of coke, we've been through that.
435
01:22:51,920 --> 01:22:55,600
We don't need to do the teenage,
rock star thing anymore.
436
01:22:55,760 --> 01:23:01,920
Now it's cool to do it professionally
and finding new worlds in the studio.
437
01:23:02,080 --> 01:23:05,160
That's the fun part,
I think we'd all agree.
438
01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:30,320
People are fucking wasted.
It's ridiculous.
439
01:23:30,480 --> 01:23:33,760
It's like a Finnish cruise ship,
slash frat party.
440
01:23:33,920 --> 01:23:35,480
I'm ready.
441
01:23:35,640 --> 01:23:38,400
You wanna go on with Nino
or chill for a bit?
442
01:23:38,560 --> 01:23:41,000
Me and Viggo need
to finish this game.
443
01:23:41,160 --> 01:23:42,960
Nino, keep that trap going.
444
01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:46,640
-Is Micke awake?
-No idea.
445
01:23:46,800 --> 01:23:50,040
I haven't seen him in a good while.
446
01:23:50,200 --> 01:23:54,800
Jonatan's health is always
the most important thing.
447
01:23:54,960 --> 01:24:00,440
He could do 40 gigs
throughout Europe.
448
01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:03,880
And he could do 60 gigs in the US.
449
01:24:04,040 --> 01:24:06,560
But we can't do it that way.
450
01:24:06,720 --> 01:24:09,360
Jonatan can do
three consecutive gigs.
451
01:24:09,520 --> 01:24:14,160
Then he needs one or two days off,
then he can do another three.
452
01:24:21,760 --> 01:24:28,360
In the beginning, Yung Lean was
a character I wanted to escape to.
453
01:24:28,520 --> 01:24:31,560
He was a more interesting character
than Jonatan.
454
01:24:31,720 --> 01:24:34,760
An alter ego that was more out there.
455
01:24:34,920 --> 01:24:38,360
He could do things
Jonatan couldn't do.
456
01:24:38,520 --> 01:24:44,840
Yung Lean was a character that ended
up growing together with Jonatan.
457
01:24:47,080 --> 01:24:52,520
Now, my lyrics are drawn
just as much from real life
458
01:24:52,680 --> 01:24:57,160
as they are from what
the character Yung Lean would say.
459
01:27:04,240 --> 01:27:07,920
-Micke! What's happening?
-Beer!
460
01:27:08,080 --> 01:27:10,320
-Grab one for me!
-Micke!
461
01:27:10,480 --> 01:27:14,320
If you find a non-alcoholic one,
grab one for me!
462
01:27:44,600 --> 01:27:46,600
This is the worst part.
463
01:27:46,760 --> 01:27:50,000
The intro.
The moment just before going on.
464
01:27:55,920 --> 01:27:57,920
Horrible!
465
01:28:09,400 --> 01:28:12,280
Now that I'm not wasted,
I do get nervous.
466
01:28:12,440 --> 01:28:17,560
Right before going on,
you feel this is the worst feeling.
467
01:28:17,720 --> 01:28:22,440
You get butterflies in your belly.
And you feel so vulnerable.
468
01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:28,640
But once you get on stage,
it all goes away in a second.
469
01:28:28,800 --> 01:28:33,280
Before, I'd numb those feelings
with drugs and alcohol.
470
01:28:33,440 --> 01:28:37,360
Not anymore.
Now I have to face the fears.
471
01:28:49,800 --> 01:28:52,920
I feel like I'm just starting out.
472
01:28:53,080 --> 01:28:58,080
I feel like I have a ton of unwritten
songs that need to get written.
473
01:28:58,240 --> 01:29:01,840
So many dreams I've never
even been close to realizing.
474
01:29:02,000 --> 01:29:05,520
All I've been through,
all I've seen and been inspired by,
475
01:29:05,680 --> 01:29:08,640
I've come to realize what's me
and what isn't me.
476
01:29:08,800 --> 01:29:12,880
And the stuff that's me,
I only want to get better at.
477
01:30:04,160 --> 01:30:07,320
I just want to be truer to myself.
478
01:30:07,480 --> 01:30:11,320
Less afraid of what I might be
able to accomplish.
479
01:30:11,480 --> 01:30:13,920
Dare to act on dreaming big.
480
01:30:14,080 --> 01:30:19,920
And not having to compromise
with what I live for.
481
01:36:48,120 --> 01:36:51,880
Subtitles: Mario Bernengo
38850
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.