Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,600
This programme
contains very strong language
2
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,640
from the outset and throughout.
3
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,960
♪ NEIL DIAMOND: Beautiful Noise
4
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,000
♪ What a beautiful noise
5
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,840
♪ Coming up from the street
6
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,640
♪ Got a beautiful sound
7
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,360
♪ It's got a beautiful beat
8
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,360
♪ It's a beautiful noise
9
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,920
♪ Going on everywhere
10
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,280
♪ Like the clickety-clack
of a train on a track
11
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,480
♪ It's got rhythm to spare
12
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,600
♪ It's a beautiful noise
13
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,960
♪ It's a sound that I love
14
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,840
♪ And it fits me as well
15
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,480
♪ As a hand in a glove
16
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,080
♪ Yes, it does
17
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,080
♪ Yes, it does... ♪
18
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,200
Ah. Afternoon, Bill.
19
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,600
Mr Housego! What thrills
await our drooling public?
20
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,080
Actually, save it.
My liver's having a beer party.
21
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,720
New girl?
22
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,800
Christine? No.
23
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,520
Hm. They all merge after a while.
24
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,840
Well, I'm sure
she feels the same about us.
25
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,680
Oh, no, do you think so?
Well, not you, obviously.
26
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,880
The Frank Sinatra of TV journalism.
27
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,600
Who says that?
28
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,400
No, just... Me. Now.
29
00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,680
Ah.
30
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,520
Erm... Mr Grundy,
this evening's line-up.
31
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,880
The main item is Queen.
The Queen?!
32
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,160
No, Queen, the pop group.
33
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,560
Ah! Hey, did I tell you about
the time I interviewed Roy Orbison?
34
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,480
-Yes, you did.
-Because of his
dark glasses, I thought he was blind
35
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,080
so I offered to show him to the gents
36
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,520
and I'm standing behind him
and he says,
37
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,320
"Mr Grundy,
either you think I'm blind
38
00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,440
or I'm gonna have to disappoint you."
39
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:01,800
Ha-ha-ha!
40
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:08,040
So, we're leading the show
with a consultation document
on the regeneration of Docklands.
41
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,640
Ah, and in years to come,
they'll all say, "Where were you
42
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:14,960
when they unveiled the consultation
document on the regeneration
of Docklands?"
43
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,000
Then -
44
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,160
Thanks, Christine. Let's let
Bill digest it in his own time.
45
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,880
I doubt there's anything
I can't handle, poppet!
46
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,200
(CLASHING CYMBALS)
47
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,080
Yeah!
48
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,920
Fucking class.
49
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,560
Ponce.
Psycho.
50
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,520
Eh? Steve, Steve.
51
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,760
Steve, my bass! Fucking hell, Steve!
52
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,680
Can we rehearse?
53
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,120
As long as we all respect
the bassist for a change.
54
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,400
Dick.
55
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,440
It's wet now!
56
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,760
I'll be electrocuted.
I fucking hope so.
57
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,920
(SNORTS AND SPITS)
58
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,200
Why do you do that?
59
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,760
I've got a sinus condition.
60
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,560
What song are we doing?
61
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,000
♪ INTRO: Pretty Vacant
62
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,320
♪ There's no point in asking
63
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,080
♪ You'll get no reply
64
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,520
♪ Oh, just remember,
don't decide... ♪
65
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,960
Fuck, that hurts.
66
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,000
Can you see it? Crouching
at the back like an evil dog?
67
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,600
My molars are nonsensically large.
68
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,720
I mean, all my teeth are.
And my cock.
69
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:39,160
So when it hurts,
it's quite spectacular.
70
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,800
Am I swollen, darlings?
71
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,800
No, up here.
72
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,920
I can't possibly go on television
with this visage.
73
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,960
Would one of you dears call in sick?
74
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:54,120
And someone had better tell Brian
before he starts doing his hair.
75
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,920
They really need to speed
those things up.
76
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,480
Erm... Eric Hall rang from EMI.
Queen are cancelling.
77
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,080
Freddy Mercury's got a toothache.
78
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,040
Well, he is 80% teeth, poor sod.
79
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,040
Does Eric know
we're on in two hours?
80
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,320
He's offering the group
The Sex Pistols instead.
81
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,600
Who are they?
They're a punk band.
82
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,160
They're really angry.
I wouldn't book them.
83
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:26,480
Bill?
Hm?
84
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,120
Queen are cancelling.
85
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,160
The group. Not the monarch.
86
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,760
They're offering us a punk band.
87
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,800
OK.
88
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,800
If they can be here
within 90 minutes, fine by us.
89
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:42,480
Are you sure?
If anyone can handle them, Bill can.
90
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,360
(STRIDENT GUITAR CHORDS)
91
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,680
I fucking hate 'em.
92
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,320
What's wrong with them?
Loads. And talentless cunts.
93
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,440
What, you don't even like Hey Jude?
94
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,480
No. Irrelevant. Next.
95
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:06,560
Pretentious dogshit.
What's wrong with Hey... Jeff?
96
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,520
We've already got a John and a Paul.
97
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,160
Steve, change your name to George.
98
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,080
You're going on the telly
in a couple of hours.
99
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,720
Are we, fuck.
They want you all on Thames TV.
100
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:22,840
Not singing, though.
101
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,680
Johnny, I know you're not one
for talking but force yourself.
102
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,440
Why would we want to do that?
103
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,840
Your mum'll like it.
OK, plug the single and the tour
104
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,160
and our new bondage range
if there's time.
105
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,600
EMI are sending a big limo.
106
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,120
Do we look like ABBA on a night out?
107
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,440
-No.
-There you go, then.
It's not our style.
108
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,040
I don't do adverts.
109
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,960
Do it or I'll stop your wages.
110
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,320
(CYMBAL CLASHES)
111
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,440
..and presenting live TV is like
trying to stand on a charging camel
112
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,400
with someone shouting in your ear
while you write a sonnet.
113
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,440
Yes, Bill.
114
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,840
But I've written some shit-hot
sonnets in my time.
115
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,360
And if it wasn't me out there,
it would be some floppy-haired youth
116
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,920
who thinks it's clever to be stupid.
It's not.
117
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,400
Not if a dwindling veneer
of civilisation is all we have.
118
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,360
You know, if you wanted
to park yourself on my lap,
you don't have to ask.
119
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,400
Yes, Bill.
120
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,440
♪ THE WALKER BROTHERS: No Regrets
121
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,000
♪ There's no regrets
122
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,640
♪ No tears goodbye
123
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,440
♪ I don't want you back... ♪
124
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,480
All right in the green room?
125
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:54,640
Mm. I just wanted to warn you,
the Sex Pistols might say...
126
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,520
You know...
127
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,960
What?
128
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,080
Fuck.
129
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,360
Why do you say that?
130
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,720
Well, they're saying it a lot
downstairs.
131
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,240
Oh, well, I say it a lot off air.
132
00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:10,600
It's Bill's favourite word.
After "I'll have a large one".
133
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,640
(LAUGHS UNEASILY)
134
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,600
Thanks.
135
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,840
(CLEARS THROAT)
136
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,560
We'll be hearing from a councillor
about what they're going to do
137
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,400
with that white elephant,
The London Docklands.
138
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,520
Fascinating to see
what they do there.
139
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,520
We also have a musical interlude for
you, in the shape of The Sex Pistols.
140
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,560
(ALL LAUGH)
141
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,680
Oh, no. It's Mr Sven Gali.
142
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,320
What are you doing boozing?
It's free. You have to.
143
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,800
You're going on air in a minute.
Don't drink any more -
144
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,720
All right, so be it.
145
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,080
That's why I brought this lot.
They can talk sense.
146
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,240
Bla-de-bla-de-bleugh.
(ALL LAUGH)
147
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,120
How you doing, darlin'?
You all right? Lovely.
148
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,680
Anyway, choose one of these to wear.
From the shop.
149
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,840
Maybe we need a manager
who's not a shopkeeper.
150
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,880
Everyone's selling something.
151
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,480
That looks nice, Johnny. Try that.
152
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,160
Or not. OK.
153
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,920
Tits. Always funny.
154
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:15,000
Have you seen this? Stranglers
slagging us off for being scum.
155
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,920
Well, come on. You are scum,
aren't you? A bit.
156
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:23,680
Oh, yeah, the anti-Christ anarchist
can dish it out but he can't take it.
157
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,120
Oi! If I weren't going to nick that
TV, I'd put your head through it.
158
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:31,160
Save your rapier-like wit
for the nation's millions of viewers.
159
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,720
(HIGH-PICHED) Hello! Again!
160
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,760
ALL: Helloooo!
161
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,760
Yeah, all right.
Yes, I suppose I am quite...
162
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,960
So, I'll be back in five minutes
to take you to the studio.
163
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,040
Thanks, babe.
164
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:53,480
Oh, what would you go for?
The tits or the Cambridge rapist?
165
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,080
Oh. Erm... probably...tits.
166
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,840
Just to be on the safe side.
167
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,800
Whoo-oo-oo!
168
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,960
Mike.
169
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,040
Bloody hell.
170
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:22,840
Mind you, nice jumper.
171
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,560
They're punk rockers.
The new craze, they tell me.
172
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,720
Their heroes, not the nice
-clean Rolling Stones.
-Action!
173
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,680
You see? They're as drunk as I am.
174
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:35,440
They are clean by comparison.
175
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,320
They're a group
called The Sex Pistols.
176
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,760
Here we go.
I'm surrounded now by all of them.
177
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,760
Hold onto your hats.
178
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:56,400
I am told that
that group have received £40,000
179
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:57,960
from a record company.
180
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,000
Doesn't that seem slightly opposed
181
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,160
to their anti-materialistic view
of life?
182
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,520
No, the more the merrier.
Really?
183
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,160
Oh, yeah.
Well, tell me more, then.
184
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,440
We've fucking spent it, ain't we?
I don't know. Have you?
185
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,400
Tell me he didn't just say that.
He said it.
186
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,480
It's all right.
Could have been "flippin'".
187
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,640
Yeah, it's all gone.
-Really?
-Down the boozer.
188
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,160
Keep it fun, Bill.
Good lord!
189
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,160
Now, I want to know one thing.
What?
190
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:26,680
Are you serious or are you
just trying to make me laugh?
191
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,280
Better.
192
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,200
No, it's all gone. Gone.
193
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,280
No, but I mean
-about what you're doing.
-Yeah.
194
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:33,920
You are serious?
Mm.
195
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:38,080
Beethoven, Mozart,
Bach and Brahms have all died -
196
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,040
All heroes of ours, ain't they?
197
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,280
Really? What were you saying, sir?
198
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,040
Don't talk to the mad one!
199
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,440
They're wonderful people.
200
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,920
Are they?
Oh, yes. They really turn us on.
201
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,560
But they're dead.
202
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,680
Well, suppose
they turn other people on?
203
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,160
That's just their tough shit.
204
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,600
Do something, Bill.
205
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:57,840
It's what?
206
00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,600
Nothing. Rude word. Next question.
207
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,200
No, no. What was the rude word?
208
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,480
Enough! I'm warning you.
209
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,120
Shit.
210
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,240
Fucking hell!
What are we going to do?
211
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,200
Good heavens.
You frighten me to death (!)
212
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,800
We've got some VT of Queen.
213
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,360
Tell them about the tour
and the single!
214
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,080
What about you girls behind?
215
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,240
Good. Stay with them.
216
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,680
He's like your dad,
this geezer, ain't he?
217
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,840
Are you...
Or your grandad.
218
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,000
Stop it!
219
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,920
Are you worried or enjoying yourself?
220
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,600
Enjoying myself.
-Are you?
-Yeah.
221
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,520
That's what I thought you were doing.
222
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,640
Always wanted to meet you.
Did you really?
223
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,800
We'll meet afterwards, shall we?
Oh, you dirty sod!
224
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,400
You dirty old man!
225
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,360
He does have a point.
Bill, this is bad.
226
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,840
Well, keep going, chief. Keep going.
227
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,080
Go on. You've got another five
seconds. Say something outrageous.
228
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,000
You dirty bastard.
Oh, and again.
229
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,920
What the fuck are you doing?!
230
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,080
You dirty fucker.
231
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,600
What a clever boy (!)
232
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:52,880
What a fucking rotter.
233
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,480
Well, that's it for tonight.
The other rocker, Eamonn,
234
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,280
and I'm saying nothing else about
him, will be back tomorrow.
235
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,880
I'll be seeing you soon.
I hope I'm not seeing you again.
236
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,920
From me, though, good night.
237
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000
Oh, shit.
(THEME TUNE)
238
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:14,040
Oh, my God.
I think I'm going to be sick.
239
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,440
Oh, my goodness.
240
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,480
We really must start
watching more early evening TV.
241
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,680
Well, I don't reckon
they'll show that.
242
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,720
You do know it was live?
243
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,440
It weren't, was it?
244
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,480
Where's Malc?
245
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:35,800
I need a piss.
246
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,840
(PHONES RING)
247
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,080
Hello. What the fuck do you want?
248
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,120
(ALL LAUGH)
249
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,280
I'm sorry.
How do you mean, swearing?
250
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,840
-I didn't egg them on!
-You said,
"Say something outrageous".
251
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,160
That's about as egging
as egging gets.
252
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,760
They came here determined
to make a name for themselves.
253
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,680
What were you doing
inviting feral children on air?
254
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,400
They were a late replacement!
255
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,720
Well, next time,
use Vera fucking Lynn!
256
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,880
Listen, Mike.
I'm a seasoned professional.
257
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,920
If I couldn't handle them,
Jesus couldn't!
258
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,960
I'm pretty sure he'd have
done a better job.
259
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,520
And he wouldn't have tried
to pull the...freaky bird.
260
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:14,280
The switchboard can't cope
with the volume of complaints.
261
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,680
One man kicked in
his new £380 TV in disgust.
262
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,320
I'll see you in the bar.
263
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:21,200
The top brass
will have a say about this.
264
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,560
And Mike, the switchboard -Oh,
it's the bloody Somme all over again!
265
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,160
Send the poor duffers over the top.
266
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,720
We can make it better if we deal
cannily with the fallout.
267
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,920
Mike! The excess calls are
-diverting to the green room.
-What?!
268
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,480
Top brass have another G
Bill, shut up!
269
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,720
Well, stop the phones diverting!
They can't!
270
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,560
Who's in the green room?
THEY are.
271
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,480
Shit.
272
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,240
Well, I guarantee
the viewers will be on my side.
273
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,280
They'll know it was
a minutely planned publicity stunt.
274
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,840
♪ ..when the story began
and I fell in love with you
275
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,880
♪ I love your mortal sin... ♪
276
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,520
(SNIFFING)
277
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:06,840
Why are you hiding, Malc?
278
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,880
You have ruined everything.
279
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,040
I didn't actually say a word.
280
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,000
I thought you wanted us
to make a splash.
281
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,280
A splash!
282
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,000
Not a fucking deathwish tidal wave!
283
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,960
Do you know how long
I've been working on this? On you?
284
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,640
Oh, my God. He's crying.
285
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:29,920
I'm not.
286
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,640
I am...melting with disappointment.
287
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,880
Oh, piss the fuck off, mate.
Do you know what I mean?
288
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,640
(PHONES RING)
289
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,600
"Now, you listen to me.
I've never heard - "
290
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,400
No, you listen,
you twatty winge-bag.
291
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:53,240
People are angry. I hate that.
292
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,280
Let's hope this all blows over.
293
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,320
Get a good night's sleep.
You're on tour tomorrow. Norwich.
294
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,360
You fucked off yet? You still there?
295
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,360
Eh? Are you still there?
296
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,080
Fuck off.
297
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,480
Oh, I thought the Sex Pistols
were really nice.
298
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,440
The problem
was the pissed old wanker.
299
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:13,960
-What's happening?
-The building's
under attack by telephone.
300
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:18,440
This is Viewer's Feedback.
You phone in and we shout at you
cos you're a fucking disgrace!
301
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:22,160
Seems we've captured
the public imagination.
302
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,800
-Right.
-No, that wasn't me.
I was at home shagging your wife.
303
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:29,120
This is...
Oh, fucking do one, you twat.
304
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,720
..spectacular.
305
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,000
Yeah, your little moan, write
it down, wrap a pineapple in it
306
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,440
and shove it up your shitter.
307
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,240
Oh, hello, Nancy, you fucking -
308
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:43,200
Apologies. The views just expressed
are not those of Thames Television.
309
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,240
Thank you.
Why don't you -
310
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000
Excuse me!
311
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,560
Your limousine is waiting!
312
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,400
Your limousine is waiting.
313
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,640
Hello. Thames Television.
Yeah, why don't you fucking -
314
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,680
Your bloody car's outside!
315
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,720
(SILENCE)
316
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,000
That's so rude.
317
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,240
Don't you...
318
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,080
(CRASH)
319
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,880
♪ THE MANHATTANS:
Kiss And Say Goodbye
320
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:22,800
♪ I had to meet you here today
321
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:28,040
♪ There's just so many things to say
322
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,080
Thank you for having us.
323
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:37,920
♪ Please don't stop me
till I'm through
324
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,040
Fuck.
325
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:44,240
♪ This is something
I hate to do... ♪
326
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,440
Bill.
327
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:52,480
I've just spoken to the bosses.
We're all agreed on the good news.
328
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,520
Nobody said cunt.
329
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,800
That's right, isn't it?
Nobody said cunt?
330
00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,840
No. Nobody said...that.
331
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:02,800
But only two people
have ever said fuck on TV before.
332
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:08,080
Kenneth Tynan in 1965 and
Peregrine Worsthorne in 1973.
333
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:10,400
Hm. It's always the posh gits,
isn't it?
334
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,680
Until now.
335
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,920
Look me in the eye
and tell me you weren't drunk.
336
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,920
I wasn't.
Though I'm well on the way now.
337
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,360
You're suspended for two weeks.
338
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,920
Do you know what Da Vinci's
Last Supper looks like
339
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,600
without Christ in it?
340
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,120
Well, that's what
the Today programme will resemble.
341
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,680
And let's pick a Judas.
Again with the Jesus.
342
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,280
Just take a look at yourself, Bill.
343
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,320
I was under pressure.
344
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,720
I thought I was speaking
for people like me.
345
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,200
But if I let it go too far, it was to
show that lot up for what they are.
346
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,280
The foul and horrible future.
347
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,880
And do you know what this makes you?
Oh, do tell.
348
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,560
The past.
349
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,560
♪ CHICAGO: If You Leave Me Now
350
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000
♪ If you leave me now
351
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:12,440
♪ You'll take away
the biggest part of me
352
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,320
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, no, baby... ♪
353
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,160
We don't want them
playing in our town.
354
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,320
What they need
is a right good hiding.
355
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:24,360
I was disgusted.
Those freaks and their swearing.
356
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,360
Grundy was as much to blame
as they were.
357
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,280
He was encouraging them
to say the words.
358
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:32,240
I was so angry with this filth
that I took a swing with my boot
359
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,680
and my pricey new TV blew up.
360
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,480
I watched it with my mum
and my stepdad
361
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,200
and none of us could believe it.
362
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,560
I've never seen any language
like that on TV before. Seriously.
363
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:44,760
I called in to the TV company
to complain and I got more abuse.
364
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,480
We've seen it all before with
Elvis Presley and his pelvis.
365
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,720
Now it's punks
but they're all God's children.
366
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,880
I just wish they would clean up
their language.
367
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,200
I didn't know what to say.
I'm an officer of the law
368
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,760
so I told them to (BLEEP) off.
369
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,880
I loved it. They're So cool.
370
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,160
Seriously. Wow.
371
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,200
Wow.
372
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,560
The Sex Pistols have put punk
and what it stands for on the map.
373
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,160
Why stop there?
374
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,240
Wage slaves,
throw off your chains, OK?
375
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,600
This is about fear.
Nobody should be fearful. Ever.
376
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,040
I saw all this coming.
377
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:20,120
It is a moment in history
when society changed.
378
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,960
As the underclass burst its chains.
379
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,920
Music is, if you like, the fuel.
380
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:32,200
Wrath and frustration
are the blazing torches
381
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:36,680
and the old order
with its grizzled henchmen
382
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:40,920
is the pile of desiccated dead wood
383
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,640
that is about to go up in flames.
384
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,560
Woof!
385
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,120
That's a fire, not a dog.
386
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,200
"Johnny, what have you got to say?"
387
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,920
Music was dreary.
388
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,960
Everything is boring.
389
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,000
Maybe now it won't be.
390
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,960
This is nice.
391
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,000
Two weeks off, to potter.
392
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,760
No, I think that's it for me.
393
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,480
I've been sent on the long walk
back to the pavilion.
394
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,680
Apart from the odd job
deputising on Tonight Up North.
395
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,400
Perhaps an emergency fill-in
on Celebrity Squares.
396
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,360
And I'll cut the ribbon
on a small supermarket or two
397
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,160
on a provincial high street.
398
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,360
So, I'll be at home a lot more now.
399
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,960
(RADIO) ELTON JOHN
Don't Go Breaking MY Heart
400
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,160
(SOBS)
401
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,960
♪ INTRO: Anarchy In The UK
402
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,520
♪ Right...now
403
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,560
♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
404
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,360
♪ I am an anti-Christ
405
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,760
♪ I am an anarchist
406
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:14,520
♪ Don't know what I want
407
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,560
♪ But I know how to get it
408
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:20,080
♪ I want to destroy the passer by
409
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:29,960
♪ Cos I want to be anarchy
410
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,840
♪ No dogsbody
411
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,920
♪ Anarchy for the UK
412
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,280
♪ It's coming sometime and maybe
413
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:45,200
♪ I give a wrong time,
stop a traffic line
414
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:49,160
♪ Your future dream
has sure been seen through
415
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:59,560
♪ Cos I want to be anarchy
416
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,120
♪ In the city... ♪
417
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,720
subtitles by Deluxe E-mail
sky.subtitles@sky.uk
31246
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
