Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,519
It's a start
2
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,159
It's a new beginning
3
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:51,400
This could be...
4
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:02,600
? This could be the
greatest job I swear. ?
5
00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:06,386
Morning, Ash. Morning Stef.
Today's going to be a wonderful day.
6
00:01:06,387 --> 00:01:10,387
I love the sound of sirens
from the city
7
00:01:11,387 --> 00:01:14,906
Getting to sleep these days
is rare
8
00:01:14,907 --> 00:01:18,907
? But I'm gonna get us
the greatest job I swear. ?
9
00:01:19,671 --> 00:01:21,030
Morning, Dru.
10
00:01:21,031 --> 00:01:23,190
Fuck off.
Stef's going to get us a job.
11
00:01:23,191 --> 00:01:27,191
I love my little friendly
furry housemates
12
00:01:27,231 --> 00:01:31,231
Sleeping without them's
hard to bear
13
00:01:31,311 --> 00:01:35,311
? But I'm gonna get some
decent job I swear. ?
14
00:01:36,412 --> 00:01:39,571
Morning, boys. Had the most amazing
dream I wanted to tell you about.
15
00:01:39,572 --> 00:01:40,771
OK, bye then.
16
00:01:40,772 --> 00:01:42,331
Don't fly too far
17
00:01:42,332 --> 00:01:44,331
From Sloman's nest
18
00:01:44,332 --> 00:01:48,332
Without them here
I won't get dressed
19
00:01:48,532 --> 00:01:52,532
? But they'll never get
themselves a decent job I... ?
20
00:01:54,732 --> 00:01:56,491
I need a key change!
21
00:01:56,492 --> 00:02:00,492
? Swear. ?
22
00:02:01,092 --> 00:02:05,051
I love the smell of urine
on the stairwell
23
00:02:05,052 --> 00:02:08,891
The lifeless junkie always there
24
00:02:08,892 --> 00:02:12,891
The kids outside wave us
a friendly farewell
25
00:02:12,892 --> 00:02:15,811
I found a condom in my hair
26
00:02:15,812 --> 00:02:17,251
All right!
27
00:02:17,252 --> 00:02:21,252
? But all that will change
when we've sort of job I swear. ?
28
00:02:21,932 --> 00:02:23,411
OK, guys, we need to split up.
29
00:02:23,412 --> 00:02:26,611
Get off the fucking car!
Sorry, mate.
30
00:02:26,612 --> 00:02:27,731
There they go
31
00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:29,851
They think the sun shines
out their arseholes
32
00:02:29,852 --> 00:02:33,211
They're deluded in
their sad little life
33
00:02:33,212 --> 00:02:35,771
Where's your CV? That's a CD!
34
00:02:35,772 --> 00:02:38,491
I don't take SATs, not qualified
35
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,371
You slept with my wife
36
00:02:41,372 --> 00:02:45,372
? We're never gonna get
a minimum wage job I swear. ?
37
00:02:46,532 --> 00:02:49,051
Look what I found, this is it,
the perfect job.
38
00:02:49,052 --> 00:02:53,052
This could be the beginning
of the rest of our lives.
39
00:02:55,052 --> 00:02:59,052
We've gone and found a job
that we desired
40
00:03:00,412 --> 00:03:04,412
After we sailed the days at sea
41
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:09,052
Singing for three minutes
and now we're tired
42
00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:13,251
? And we can't hear our harmony... ?
43
00:03:13,252 --> 00:03:16,411
Argh! So, can you shut the fuck up?!
44
00:03:16,412 --> 00:03:18,652
Pricks.
45
00:03:20,652 --> 00:03:22,931
So, can we have a job?
46
00:03:22,932 --> 00:03:24,771
Yeah, all right.
47
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:27,931
We've gone and got ourselves
48
00:03:27,932 --> 00:03:31,932
The greatest job I
49
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:36,812
? Swear. ?
50
00:03:50,732 --> 00:03:52,291
How clean did she say it had to be?
51
00:03:52,292 --> 00:03:55,851
Clean enough to lick. Even the
toilets? Especially the toilets.
52
00:03:55,852 --> 00:03:59,131
I can't believe she's turning 16.
53
00:03:59,132 --> 00:04:01,171
What are we going to do for it?
54
00:04:01,172 --> 00:04:05,172
Well, Hope likes texting
and being stroppy.
55
00:04:05,492 --> 00:04:08,131
How do you theme a surprise
party out of that?
56
00:04:08,132 --> 00:04:10,651
Come on, she likes more
than being moody.
57
00:04:10,652 --> 00:04:12,811
There's that song that she likes.
58
00:04:12,812 --> 00:04:16,291
Baby Imma make love slowly
59
00:04:16,292 --> 00:04:19,651
? To my one and only Zoe. ?
60
00:04:19,652 --> 00:04:22,731
Love that song. Have you met
my girlfriend, Zoe? No.
61
00:04:22,732 --> 00:04:24,811
It's like it could have been
written about her.
62
00:04:24,812 --> 00:04:26,291
Dude, she's your ex-girlfriend.
63
00:04:26,292 --> 00:04:28,891
She is my girlfriend, we've just
got this awesome not talking
64
00:04:28,892 --> 00:04:32,051
and not seeing each other thing
that makes my chest hurt.
65
00:04:32,052 --> 00:04:33,611
Don't waste us cleaning toilets
66
00:04:33,612 --> 00:04:36,731
when we could organise the greatest
party Zoe's ever been to.
67
00:04:36,732 --> 00:04:40,531
My sister's name's Hope.
68
00:04:40,532 --> 00:04:42,891
Look, we've really got to make
this birthday special
69
00:04:42,892 --> 00:04:46,331
and these idiots look like
they understand teenagers.
70
00:04:46,332 --> 00:04:48,651
Look at their clothes.
71
00:04:48,652 --> 00:04:52,652
I bet they even know how to...
Hey, do you guys twerk?
72
00:04:53,572 --> 00:04:57,331
What's a twerk?
73
00:04:57,332 --> 00:04:59,611
All right!
74
00:04:59,612 --> 00:05:03,451
Make Hope happy and I'll
raise your pay by 5p an hour.
75
00:05:03,452 --> 00:05:05,771
Fail me...
76
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,731
You'll wipe out necks.
77
00:05:07,732 --> 00:05:11,732
But why would you use
only one finger?
78
00:05:14,412 --> 00:05:18,051
What do teenage girls like?
79
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:22,052
What do they enjoy?
80
00:05:22,492 --> 00:05:26,492
What do we know about teenage girls?
81
00:05:28,852 --> 00:05:32,531
What is girls?
82
00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:36,131
They all like that vampire guy. What,
Twilight? Dude, that was years ago.
83
00:05:36,132 --> 00:05:38,531
It's all iPads and
butt chugging now.
84
00:05:38,532 --> 00:05:42,532
We do something that she loves.
85
00:05:45,692 --> 00:05:48,691
You'll get it when you hear it,
I promise.
86
00:05:48,692 --> 00:05:50,971
We're volunteering to do
that fucking song again.
87
00:05:50,972 --> 00:05:53,971
Obviously we're going to hire him
to play Hope's party.
88
00:05:53,972 --> 00:05:57,211
Baby Imma make lovely slowly
89
00:05:57,212 --> 00:06:00,691
? To my one... ?
Stef, what you doing here?
90
00:06:00,692 --> 00:06:03,251
Oh, my God, this is perfect, Zoe!
91
00:06:03,252 --> 00:06:06,091
You have to hear this song,
it understands our pain.
92
00:06:06,092 --> 00:06:07,531
Stef, I'm seeing someone new.
93
00:06:07,532 --> 00:06:09,571
Rebound! We've all been there.
94
00:06:09,572 --> 00:06:12,531
But now that we're back together
we should visit Paris!
95
00:06:12,532 --> 00:06:14,531
I'll get your coat. Stef!
96
00:06:14,532 --> 00:06:15,891
It's over.
97
00:06:15,892 --> 00:06:19,331
I'm actually here with...
Don't see you with anyone.
98
00:06:19,332 --> 00:06:20,932
He's a musician. I doubt that.
99
00:06:23,052 --> 00:06:24,171
Zoe, seriously,
100
00:06:24,172 --> 00:06:26,851
just listen to these lyrics then
you'll understand how I feel.
101
00:06:26,852 --> 00:06:30,051
It's like it could have been
written about you.
102
00:06:30,052 --> 00:06:33,131
This song is for Zoe,
my girlfriend,
103
00:06:33,132 --> 00:06:36,491
that's standing right there next
to the douche with the big hair.
104
00:06:36,492 --> 00:06:39,571
This song is about how often
I make love to her
105
00:06:39,572 --> 00:06:43,131
and how often she needs it.
106
00:06:43,132 --> 00:06:44,851
I'm sorry, Stef.
107
00:06:44,852 --> 00:06:47,811
Come on! Come on, everyone,
hands in the air!
108
00:06:47,812 --> 00:06:49,571
Yes!
109
00:06:49,572 --> 00:06:52,491
To my only Zoe
110
00:06:52,492 --> 00:06:55,811
But you gotta understand
111
00:06:55,812 --> 00:06:59,011
? I'm still on... ? Come on!
112
00:06:59,012 --> 00:07:00,731
Five a day, playa
113
00:07:00,732 --> 00:07:02,451
Five a day, playa
114
00:07:02,452 --> 00:07:04,291
I don't need the proof, y'all
115
00:07:04,292 --> 00:07:05,971
I just need her sex
116
00:07:05,972 --> 00:07:07,531
Five a day
117
00:07:07,532 --> 00:07:09,571
Five a day
118
00:07:09,572 --> 00:07:12,691
I don't need no proof, girl,
I just need your sex
119
00:07:12,692 --> 00:07:14,411
She came in for banana
120
00:07:14,412 --> 00:07:16,371
So I gave her banana
121
00:07:16,372 --> 00:07:17,931
She came in for a sleepover
122
00:07:17,932 --> 00:07:19,531
But I don't wear pyjama
123
00:07:19,532 --> 00:07:21,531
I'm riding through the rhythm
124
00:07:21,532 --> 00:07:23,211
But I don't play the drum
125
00:07:23,212 --> 00:07:24,771
And now she open up
126
00:07:24,772 --> 00:07:26,731
And I gave her that calcium
127
00:07:26,732 --> 00:07:28,651
Me and my girlfriend Zoe
128
00:07:28,652 --> 00:07:30,771
? Breathing like... ?
129
00:07:30,772 --> 00:07:34,772
I think he overdosed
on this shit song.
130
00:07:37,932 --> 00:07:41,932
Mmm, sausages.
131
00:07:43,612 --> 00:07:46,571
I thought Zoe looked well.
132
00:07:46,572 --> 00:07:49,211
Lovely glossy hair.
So, there's a lot to get done.
133
00:07:49,212 --> 00:07:53,212
Probably pick up some tools, use a
plywood base, better get going, bye.
134
00:07:58,212 --> 00:08:02,212
What the fuck?
135
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,731
Shouldn't we be helping Stef?
136
00:08:20,732 --> 00:08:24,732
We are. We're helping him learn that
sometimes people don't help you.
137
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:43,652
Dru, wakes up, it's ready.
138
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:49,892
Well, come on, then.
139
00:08:54,292 --> 00:08:56,251
No decorations.
140
00:08:56,252 --> 00:08:57,931
No cake.
141
00:08:57,932 --> 00:09:01,491
Stef's done a Twilight theme so it
probably doesn't work in daylight.
142
00:09:01,492 --> 00:09:05,492
You ready? Check it out.
143
00:09:17,292 --> 00:09:19,051
Zoe
144
00:09:19,052 --> 00:09:23,052
I still love you
145
00:09:23,572 --> 00:09:25,411
Please
146
00:09:25,412 --> 00:09:29,412
? Come back to me. ?
147
00:09:31,012 --> 00:09:33,291
We're doing a party theme of Zoe?
148
00:09:33,292 --> 00:09:35,091
Because every single 16-year-old
149
00:09:35,092 --> 00:09:39,092
can relate to Stef
having an ex-girlfriend.
150
00:09:39,892 --> 00:09:42,691
She's not my ex-girlfriend, stupid.
151
00:09:42,692 --> 00:09:45,811
She's literally mad about me, still.
152
00:09:45,812 --> 00:09:49,331
And this is how I'm going
to win her back.
153
00:09:49,332 --> 00:09:53,332
Hope's going to love it.
So when exactly is this party?
154
00:09:53,892 --> 00:09:57,331
It's tonight.
155
00:09:57,332 --> 00:10:01,332
That's me.
156
00:10:03,052 --> 00:10:04,931
Stef's sanity's having a day off.
157
00:10:04,932 --> 00:10:07,731
I need you to babysit him.
I'm not changing any nappies again.
158
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:11,211
I had enough of that with
my own daughter. Never again!
159
00:10:11,212 --> 00:10:14,571
We meant babysit as in look after,
not... Yeah, all right, I'll do it.
160
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:18,572
I'll change the urine but I draw
the line at number twos, all right?
161
00:10:18,812 --> 00:10:20,131
You got nappy rash?
162
00:10:20,132 --> 00:10:22,011
Dude's has his heart broken.
163
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:23,771
And we've got a party to organise.
164
00:10:23,772 --> 00:10:26,971
Oh, right. Heartbroken
lead singer, eh? Yeah.
165
00:10:26,972 --> 00:10:30,731
I feel your pain, bro-mocide.
166
00:10:30,732 --> 00:10:34,292
As it happens, I know just the place
that can help you, Stef.
167
00:10:37,812 --> 00:10:39,451
Now, don't be scared, Stef.
168
00:10:39,452 --> 00:10:41,331
Group therapy saved me.
169
00:10:41,332 --> 00:10:45,332
As lead singer of Sloman And Sloman
I was a mess, but look at me now.
170
00:10:45,452 --> 00:10:47,971
Boom! Boom!
171
00:10:47,972 --> 00:10:50,531
Yeah, fully clothed
and I own a tortoise.
172
00:10:50,532 --> 00:10:54,532
And it's all thanks
to these guys. Come on.
173
00:10:58,132 --> 00:11:00,411
There you go, Stef.
174
00:11:00,412 --> 00:11:02,171
Shush, shhhh, shhhh.
175
00:11:02,172 --> 00:11:03,731
Cease anecdotes.
176
00:11:03,732 --> 00:11:05,491
Cease anecdotes.
177
00:11:05,492 --> 00:11:08,251
Right. Let us begin.
178
00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:12,252
Now, today, my fellow frontmen,
I brought along one of our kind
179
00:11:12,812 --> 00:11:16,812
to share his pain with us
and maybe to rock the party!
180
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:24,972
Seriously, Stef's in a bad way
with his love life. All right?
181
00:11:26,492 --> 00:11:30,492
So, who wants to go first?
182
00:11:32,132 --> 00:11:36,132
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
have a salad, have a salad.
183
00:11:41,932 --> 00:11:45,932
One, two, two, one, two.
184
00:11:47,252 --> 00:11:51,252
Good evening, good evening,
Group Therapy for Frontmen.
185
00:11:52,172 --> 00:11:56,172
? Are you ready to share? ?
186
00:11:57,172 --> 00:11:58,811
I said,
187
00:11:58,812 --> 00:12:02,812
? Are you ready to share? ?
188
00:12:05,372 --> 00:12:07,742
Yeah, everybody's ready, Peter.
189
00:12:15,420 --> 00:12:16,859
It's a good start.
190
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:18,819
We wrote that two hours ago.
191
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:22,099
Have you even seen Twilight?
192
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:25,499
What's a Twilight?
193
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,819
And now she strikes the pose.
194
00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:31,820
And so, I thought,
"We've got a connection."
195
00:12:32,980 --> 00:12:34,659
So I ask to see her tits.
196
00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:36,619
Yep. Yep. Classic, yep.
197
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:39,499
Nothing.
198
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:42,699
In front of 20,000 people.
199
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:44,099
It was a no.
200
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:48,100
I just felt so humiliated, yeah.
201
00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:59,060
He asked for tits,
and he got no tits.
202
00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:02,099
So...
203
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:04,619
new boy, what's the deal?
204
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:08,620
Who took a shit on your heart?
205
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:12,019
Right, well, it's been a while,
I should be good for a pint.
206
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:13,539
How about four pints?
207
00:13:13,540 --> 00:13:17,540
Giving four pints of blood
would kill me, I think.
208
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:19,819
Cry baby. Hold your armour.
209
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,659
You're joking, right? Hush, now.
210
00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:23,659
What is this? You're not the NHS.
211
00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:26,979
Look, we need blood for a vampire
party and Drew's only given us this,
212
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,059
so, come on.
213
00:13:28,060 --> 00:13:30,099
Come back.
214
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,699
I'm pretty sure
he's going to call the police.
215
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:35,219
Face it, we're never
going to collect a gallon now.
216
00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:37,419
Oh, well, back into the veins you go.
217
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:39,499
Drew, I'm going to
do something radical,
218
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,939
something I've never
tried before, for Steph.
219
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:44,299
I'm going to read a book.
220
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:48,299
I'm going to read Twilight.
221
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,819
In conclusion, I think
maybe Zoe isn't coming back.
222
00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:55,459
I think maybe it is over.
223
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,179
What? Come on, bullshit.
224
00:13:58,180 --> 00:14:00,179
But she's got a new boyfriend.
225
00:14:00,180 --> 00:14:04,180
Dude, dude, all my chicks
have got boyfriends.
226
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:08,540
I get all the mating,
with none of the dating.
227
00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:11,339
Yeah, baby!
228
00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:15,340
I get all the sex,
without the alimony cheques.
229
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:17,779
Whoo!
230
00:14:17,780 --> 00:14:21,099
Sorry, but I think
you're all deluded.
231
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,499
Hey, hey, hey!
232
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,139
House rule, no bottling
the front man,
233
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,659
who threw the bra?
234
00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:27,859
Yo, yo, yo!
235
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:30,019
Sorry I'm late, people.
236
00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:34,020
Just finished giving my girl
the grand tour.
237
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:37,059
Tour of what, Sexual P?
238
00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:39,379
You don't have to answer that.
Tour of my mansion.
239
00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:41,699
Front-door ball sac.
240
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:44,459
Gave her the key to my house,
241
00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:48,459
so she can come down whenever
she wants and lick my...
242
00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:50,219
Ball sac. Touche.
243
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:52,739
That means touch in French.
244
00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:56,019
And she definitely, definitely
245
00:14:56,020 --> 00:15:00,020
touches my...
246
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,019
Everything is ready for the party.
247
00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:10,259
Mate, are you crying?
248
00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:14,260
Who will Bella choose?
249
00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:16,499
I bought a crate of these,
250
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:17,779
how cool is that?
251
00:15:17,780 --> 00:15:19,899
A savoury snack called Twilights.
252
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:23,900
We've got to get you tested, mate.
253
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:51,339
Hello, sir.
254
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:55,340
I'm new here. And I need
some of the magic that you do.
255
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,419
I accept Zoe's not coming back,
256
00:15:57,420 --> 00:16:01,420
but I don't think
I'll be all right on my own.
257
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:14,939
Mwah-ha-ha-ha!
258
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:18,940
I am Count Twilight. And I am
Buffy Vampire, his sidekick.
259
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:24,219
Welcome to your Twilight-themed
party, which you love,
260
00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:28,220
like all teenagers do.
261
00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:32,859
Happy birthday, hope.
262
00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:34,419
Garlic punch.
263
00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:38,099
And have a Twilight.
264
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:41,059
Don't be scared, little girl.
265
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:43,979
We're not real vampires, OK.
266
00:16:43,980 --> 00:16:45,699
A fucking Twilight party!
267
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,179
What do you think I am,
268
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:50,099
15 years old three years ago?
269
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:53,459
And you've even got
everything wrong. Everything.
270
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:57,460
Rah! I'm a werewolf
called Jason, or Jacob.
271
00:16:58,540 --> 00:17:02,419
Jayden, maybe.
272
00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:06,420
Hope, would you maybe
like to see the boys twerk?
273
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:09,859
I mean, they're actually pretty good.
274
00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:12,939
I'm so embarrassed
I think I'm going to be sick.
275
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:16,179
Sounds to me like someone needs a
slice of birthday cake, am I right?
276
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:20,059
Yum, yum.
277
00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:23,339
If I wasn't that guy
278
00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:27,139
The guy that loses women
279
00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:30,819
I need to hear from that guy
280
00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:34,820
? Can't you send me down
a message from above? ?
281
00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:39,139
Why are you looking so glum, honey?
282
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:42,139
My heart feels like
an empty crisp packet.
283
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:46,140
Delicious slice of white toast like
you, you need some jam spread on you.
284
00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:49,179
I don't feel like breakfast.
285
00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:53,180
Fire it up, we've got a skinny-ass,
lovesick boy what needs the boss.
286
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:56,379
Oooh, yeah!
287
00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:58,659
If you were a black guy
288
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,419
? If I was a... ? Hang on, what?
289
00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:03,219
? You'd get all the ladies
that you need... ?
290
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:04,619
Surely that's kind of racist.
291
00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:06,259
Cos if you were a black guy
292
00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:08,419
If I was a black guy
293
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,420
Your girlfriend would be
begging on her knees
294
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,019
I see what you're saying, ladies
295
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:17,299
It don't make sense
296
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:20,579
? Why would being black
be some much better? No offence ?
297
00:18:20,580 --> 00:18:22,179
You should... bolt
298
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:23,699
It's a
299
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,739
Wonder why you didn't have the
300
00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:28,579
Will... power
to kiss that bitch goodbye
301
00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:32,580
I feel subliminal messaging
creeping in to your words
302
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:37,059
Can't you help me out without
being race-oriented first?
303
00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:38,939
That's fine, we hear you clearly
304
00:18:38,940 --> 00:18:41,139
It's easy as A to Z
305
00:18:41,140 --> 00:18:43,179
I think we can convert you
306
00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:46,179
And leave the race puns be
307
00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:50,180
If you were a black guy
If I was a black guy
308
00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:53,419
? You'd get all the ladies
that you need... ?
309
00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:54,659
I would?
310
00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:56,139
Cos if you were a black guy
311
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:58,299
If I was a black guy
312
00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:00,979
There'd be no better way
you would succeed
313
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:02,259
Whoo!
314
00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:04,259
Super Mario can jump high
315
00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:06,459
If he was a black guy
316
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:08,299
Oh, I could wear a white tie
317
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,139
If he was a black guy
318
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:12,259
Yeah, every day
would be a blue sky
319
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:14,059
If he was a black guy
320
00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:15,979
Sing really fucking high
321
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:17,899
If he was a black guy
322
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:20,379
And I could kiss...
323
00:19:20,380 --> 00:19:21,819
If he was a black guy
324
00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:25,820
Every white man
going to have the chance
325
00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:28,979
I'm a saint now, not a sinner
326
00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:30,939
I'm chocolate not vanilla
327
00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:33,259
I'd have I better figure
328
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:37,260
? And my penis would be bigger. ?
329
00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:46,060
It's all right for us to say that
though, right? Because we're black?
330
00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:03,899
Come on, Hope, have a little cake.
331
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,659
Ash.
332
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:09,660
Oh, Bella, who will you choose?
333
00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:14,580
Is someone jumping
out this thing or not?
334
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:25,379
Garlic!
335
00:20:25,380 --> 00:20:27,260
Yes, obviously.
336
00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:32,459
If she is still crying
after 10 minutes' time
337
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:36,460
I will make a party hat
out of your testicles.
338
00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:51,179
Hey there, Count Drewcula,
this place looks fucking wicked.
339
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:53,179
I don't know, dude, that little girl.
340
00:20:53,180 --> 00:20:56,539
Her name's Hope.
She doesn't like vampires.
341
00:20:56,540 --> 00:20:57,939
I know something she likes.
342
00:20:57,940 --> 00:20:59,539
Get out of there, Ash.
343
00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:03,139
You're giving her Ash?
Well, I suppose she's just turned 16.
344
00:21:03,140 --> 00:21:04,739
Oh, yeah!
345
00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:08,059
Come on, then, guys, let's play the
birthday girl her favourite song.
346
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:09,899
Wait, that song, are you sure?
347
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:13,900
Yeah, I'm fine now,
it's just a shit song.
348
00:21:18,580 --> 00:21:21,259
Come on.
349
00:21:21,260 --> 00:21:24,059
Look, they're all waiting for you.
350
00:21:24,060 --> 00:21:28,060
We could have got tickets
to see Sexual P instead.
351
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:37,019
This one's for the birthday girl.
352
00:21:37,020 --> 00:21:41,020
Maybe I will make love slowly
353
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:44,979
To my one and only Hopey
354
00:21:44,980 --> 00:21:47,739
But you got to understand
355
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:51,419
I'm still on that...
356
00:21:51,420 --> 00:21:53,099
That five-a-day pledge
357
00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:55,019
That five-a-day pledge
358
00:21:55,020 --> 00:21:58,059
? Don't need the fruit, girl
I just need the sex... ?
359
00:21:58,060 --> 00:21:59,659
This is disgusting.
360
00:21:59,660 --> 00:22:01,979
How do you turn the sound off?
361
00:22:01,980 --> 00:22:05,659
I don't need no fruit, girl
I just need the sex
362
00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:08,659
She came in for banana
so I gave her banana
363
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:12,299
? Then she wanted... ?
364
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:13,939
'I wrote your whole name on it,
365
00:22:13,940 --> 00:22:16,299
'but you can only see...'
366
00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:19,659
How do you make it stop?
How do you make it stop?!
367
00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:21,179
'Think sexy stuff.'
368
00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:22,699
That's not me.
369
00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:25,220
Here comes the O.
370
00:22:29,180 --> 00:22:30,419
That's not my dick. 'Zoe!
371
00:22:30,420 --> 00:22:34,420
'Zoe?'
372
00:22:36,979 --> 00:22:40,979
It could have been worse. How?
At least she didn't fire us.
373
00:22:43,419 --> 00:22:45,018
What page are you on now?
374
00:22:45,019 --> 00:22:49,019
Page five, it's getting intense.
Who will Bella choose?
375
00:22:50,579 --> 00:22:52,298
Well, Dumbledore dies at the end,
376
00:22:52,299 --> 00:22:54,538
and Bella gets together
with a guy called Catniss,
377
00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:57,338
but then Edward and Catniss
team up with Aslan...
378
00:22:57,339 --> 00:22:58,664
Stop ruining it, Drew.
379
00:22:58,714 --> 00:23:03,264
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
27593
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
